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As Florian entered the german national teams training grounds in Herzogenaurach, it felt different this time around. And no, that wasn`t because he wasn`t training for a Euro- or Worldcup this time.
No, rather it felt like something was missing. Or someone. That someone of course being the one and only Jamal Musiala. Not able to show up because of a hip injury. Well, it`s not like Florian wasn`t aware of the fact that Jamal would be missing this time around. In fact, Jamal was by far not the only player missing.
Marc-Andrè ter Stegen, Niclas Füllkrug, Kai Havertz, Robin Koch and the list goes on (oh and it kept on going on). All great players that this months team had to play without. Not like that`s something unusual. Last month they had to skip out on Antonio Rüdiger, another tragedy in and of itself. But somehow the absence of that one particular midfielder just wouldn`t leave Florian`s mind.
Even as he was warmly welcomed by both the media crew and his teammates, the thought that Jamal could be right next to him right now just wouldn`t leave his mind.
As he entered his room and started unpacking he could only remember how all the times he previously housed in this room, Jamal was always his next door neighbor.
By now he probably would have leaned on my doorframe, dragging me out to the others and encouraging me to play football or basketball. Not like Jamal was that much more of a social butterfly than Florian was. But when it came to motivating himself to go out and socialize, especially after the long arrival and carpooling that came along with the first day of training camp, Jamal was just more successful in getting Florian out of his bed than the guy on his own.
So since said motivational coach wasn`t there right now, Florian fell to his bed after unpacking, grabbing his phone to write a real motivational text to a certain someone.
Flo
just arrived
im so dead lol
He didn`t have to wait long for an answer.
Jamu
what and u call me a grandpa for taking naps?
isn`t it lunch time over there
join the others
"this isn`t team behavior"
Florian`s mouth curled up in a small smile at reading the quote Jamal send him. It was from the time in 2022 when they played that horrible World-Cup in Qatar. Florian wasn`t really playing a lot. That was due to an injury and, in his own opinion, the incompetence of a certain coach that was way too focused on demonstrating team spirit where none was. The quote stemmed from a particularly tense team meeting in which the players were critized for their lackluster performances. Then as a form of motivation they had to watch some form of greygoose documentary snippet that was supposed to strengthen their team behavior. The whole ordeal was so absurd that anytime it fit, either Jamal or Florian would quote the final statement that their coach made on that day.
"This isn`t team behavior."
Sure it was supposed to hit them as something to seriously think about, but come on. Imagine you are just 18 years old, playing a very very controversial, but very important game that somehow no one is really motivated to compete in. And your coach, frustrated with your "don`t care" attitude, shows you a video of wild greygeese team building. All while Jamal, Florian, Kai and Jule were in the last row of seats, desperately trying to muffle their giggles as their coach got more and more emotional infront of the frozen image of a greygoose fight.
Flo
u can`t just hit me with that out of nowhere bro
Jamu
well its true
in this case
now go and eat with the others!
or i`ll text joshua to get u
or should i call deniz?
While Florian was of course neither afraid of Joshua or Deniz, the first could sometimes be a bit overbearing, similar to a father who`s child kicks a ball for the first time. The latter, while nice, just apparently had to take on the role as the new number 13 a bit too well. Bye "Radio Müller", welcome "Antenne Undav".
Flo
oh god no
u are not even here and u wanna torture me out of my bed
Jamu
well someone has to!!
can`t believe u are still in bed
As a sort of funny demontration of Flo`s current position he took a small selfie of himself, lying on his bed. His lower face half was slightly hidden by the hem of his hood as well as the top of his head. It was just a typical silly photo of oneself that you would send your best friend on a random monday afternoon with no other intention than simply showing yourself. Despite knowing this, Flo`s smile began to curve up a bit more as he send the pic, his cheeks slightly heating up as Jamal hearted his message and gave the simple reply-
Jamu
cute
now go out and socialize, sleepy head!!
Florian giggled as he read the reply, clearly imagining Jamal`s slightly mocking but fond tone in which he would say these things in real life. He was so absorbed in his chat with Jamal that he didn`t really notice the slight squeak of his door being opened.
"Flo?"
At the sound of his name being called, Florian jumped off his bed similarly to a scared little cat and, in reflex, flung his phone straight to the ground. A little bit embarassed he crouched down to the floor, hoping his screen didn`t split, to pick up his phone and turn around to see who called his name. Only to see that it was the one and only father and captain of their squad, Joshua Kimmich.
"Damn, you okay? I even knocked but you didn`t answer, so I thought maybe you were asleep or something." Joshua said as he leaned on Flo`s doorframe, arms crossed and an amused glint in his eyes and tone.
"Uh yeah, or ehm.. No? Well- I`m okay and no I wasn`t asleep." Flo really felt like a little kid in this moment, looking slightly down to the floor and fidgeting with his phone like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
Looking slightly up he met Joshua`s gaze and continued : " I just got done unpacking, I was gonna come down to join you guys in just a minute."
Joshua didn`t really look convinced, opened up his arms to put his hands in his pocket and take a few steps into Florian`s room.
"Is that so? Looks like you were already done and more invested in something different."
His amused gaze wandered down towards Florian`s phone, where in turn, the younger man shoved said phone in his hoodie pocket.
He swung his arms to lighten up a little and said a bit more quietly: "Well, I was also talking to Jamal."
Now it seemed like Joshua was filling in the role of Flo, back in that team meeting room. As he was trying not to fall into a fit of giggles at the apparent discomfort of the young midfielder.
"I see, so how is he? Doing good?" Joshua`s voice was tinged with sarcasm and his eyebrow lifted in a very entertained way.
Flo felt himself automatically nod his head, quickly replying: "Yeah, yeah he`s good. You know, recovering, resting, wishing he could be here." As if Joshua didn`t know that himself, they are teammates! He sees him more than you do!
"Great, so you`re okay too?
That question slightly startled Florian. Sure, maybe he wasn`t as enthusiastic about these following games than he was when Jamal was by his side. And yeah, he did not join the others at lunch yet. But did he really look that unmotivated? Apparently his confusion must`ve shown on his face, because the slight glint of humor in Joshua`s eyes was now replaced with a more concerned look that very much did resemble a worried fathers expression. Oh no, I know exactly what comes next-
"Flo, it`s okay if you miss Jamal. I get it. There are some players I wish were here too, playing with us and just in general... here with the squad. But we can`t have you all distracted now. Especially during the games, you are too important for that. Do you get that?"
Even though the captains words were direct and blunt, his tone leaned more towards a soothing and empathetic one, creating a perfect balance for Flo to finally look up and nod in Joshua`s direction.
"Yeah, no I get it. I`m just gonna change real quick and join you guys at lunch, okay?" He put on a small smile and began to turn his back towards Joshua`s reciprocated smirk. He really was taking on the parental role around here now that Manu and Thomas are gone huh.
"Atleast do it for your boyfriend!"
Flo`s eyes went wide and in a swift motion he turned around and shouted: " He`s not my-" only to see that Joshua had already walked off.
His head still shaking, Flo checked his phone for the last time before finally joining the others in hopes of another message from a certain someone.
Jamu
sooo
i guess u were taken to lunch now?
This little shit can`t even leave me alone when we`re miles apart. At the realization of who exactly had been so kind to send him Joshua over, the blonde let out a small laugh and simply replied-
Flo
asshole.
Jamal also hearted that message.
*
The next few days were actually quite normal. It felt like the same kind of school-class trip vibe that they had previously in september and way back in june. What a surprise, socialization does help with overthinking Florian. Still, Flo decided this time their time together was just cursed somehow. And no, that`s not only on Jamal (and several others) missing out. On top of that, David also had to return home early, much to Joshua`s and Robert`s dismay. The three plant fanatics had already drawn a map of how they wanted their garden to look like by the beginning of 2026. They called it a "motivational garden experiment that is supposed to strengthen our team spirit by the time we make it to the world cup 2026" or whatever David and Josh had come up with to convince the DFB team to spend even more money on their precious trees and bushes. But that`s besides Flos main point of critique. Because the other thing is that he, and only he, had to go to an autograph-meet up a day before the first game.
"Why am I even going alone? Wouldn`t it be even more attractive for the fans if someone joins me? Doesn`t have to be Rüdiger or Josh, how about one of the newer guys huh? To get to know them?" Flo desperately tried to convince the crew to let anyone join him in the event looking sideways meeting the gazes of said people.
"You wanna say you`re not attractive enough on your own?" joked Deniz, elbowing Nico who was currently playing something on his phone, though still laughing at the whole ordeal.
"Shut up, Undav!" was Flo`s annoyed response. He looked at his fellow teammates and tried to further convince someone to join him.
"Like Jamie! Come on, they don`t know you that well yet, a chance to get to know you!" Flo didn`t even know why he made such a big deal out of this. Just somehow he wasn`t in the mood to do all the press and media stuff this time around. Why could that be.
"Nah man and watch how you get all the attention? I`m sorry my guy, but I should really focus on my first performance now." Was what Jamie responded rather chill in the face of Flo`s crumbling self-esteem. Why do I make such a big deal out of this? It`s just autographs and small talk. Get it together Flo.
"You need someone to walk you to the car, princess?" Deniz asked in a humorous tone. One that Flo would have surely joined in and returned, if he were in a better mood. That was just a normal, casual Undav comment, to lighten the mood and make fun of the situation. But god does he take his job as the new number 13 seriously. Is Thomas normally also like this? I should ask Jamal later. Instead the midfielders reaction was a rather annoyed one, as he flipped Deniz off and turned his back to the guys, accepting his fate of doing this thing on his own. As he exited the living room area he noticed a notification on his phone go off.
Jamu
oh yeah that media stuff can be pretty boring
but c`mon dude, do it for the fans
do it for me
Yeah. That`s right. This would totally be an event for Flo and Jamal. They share similar fanbases and they wouldn`t miss a chance on getting an autograph from the 10 and 17 of the national team together. Is that why I´m so off? Since when does it bother me so much to do these things without Jamu? Not like I do them at Bayer Leverkusen crying after Jamal.
As he got in the car he heard a voice call after them. "Wait! I`m coming with you!" And there came, who else could it be, one Joshua Kimmich after the car, taking a seat next to Florian.
"Joshua, you are not planned for this event though, this was a `Flo only type` of situation, remember?" Janine, one of their media asisstents told Joshua. She already looked rather exasperated with all the backlash she got from Flo earlier, when he was told to do this thing on his own.
"Yeah well I`m not planning on actually joining Flo here. I just thought that... maybe, you guys could drive me to the garden centre near by? The bonsai`s not looking too well and I wanted to look for some specific kind of fertilizer that could help with his situation. And maybe get him a little companion." His captains expression turned into a rather sheepish looking smile, similar to that of a child asking for a chocolate bar at the register. Matching to Joshua`s expression was Janine`s, matching that of the tired mom, desperately wanting to tell her child no, but simply being way too overstimulated to do so and in turn- "Heh, okay sure whatever." ,giving in and looking longingly out the window, wishing she would have maybe choosen an actual job with kids over these man children.
"Great! So Flo I was thinking-" And suddenly Joshua was turning his smiley expression towards Flo, who honestly didn`t know if this is what he asked for, when he said he wanted to take someone with him on this trip. Because now Joshua was overwhelming the blonde next to him with pretty much every question he could possibly ask about his plans on future plants. His rants on how exactly Bonsais were cultivated and what environment they needed to flourish went over to his plan of getting an actual banana tree because-
"Bananas first thing in the morning are amazing for your gut health! That´s atleast something I learned while living with Leon."
And somehow that caught Florian`s attention more than anything. He knew that the two Bayern players were close, something Jamal routinely complained about. But that they were living together? That sounds rather... Intimate? Did Joshua think of him when he said he misses certain players? And why is that bothering me so much now? What`s wrong with me-
"-Ah looks like we`re here. Don`t worry champ you got this. It`s only like what?-"
"2 hours." Was Janine`s, still tired, response to Joshua`s encouraging words. Joshua seemed to not notice her apparent lack of motivation. Probably being worsened by Joshua`s rambling about plants for the past 20 minutes. So he just clapped Flo on his back, smiling at him. Flo returned the smile, though begrudgingly, and got out of the car.
Good okay, only 2 hours of this and I`m done. Simple as that- His phone vibrated in his pocket, signaling a new message he seemed to have gotten.
Jamu
now that i think about it, if i wouldn`t have been injured this totally would have been a "wusiala" thing huh?
Flo couldn`t hide the smile that yet again creeped up upon his face and quickly replied:
Flo
i think u mean "wirtziala".
High on feeling better, Flo entered the store and let the crowd of people greet him.
*
In the end, the meet up really wasn`t as bad as Flo`s mind made it up to be. He always enjoyed talking to his fans and fulfilling the simplest wishes, such as a signed jersey. It`s the least he can do for the support he gets. As he entered the car again, he was yet again faced with an overenthusiastic Joshua, apparently now several plants richer.
"Flo! How was it? All good?" Joshua asked the younger as soon as he sat down next to him.
"Yeah, was all good. The people are super excited for the game tomorrow." Flo replied to him calmly, though also slightly bemused now that his eyes spotted one particular tiny Bonsai plant that was seated right in Joshua`s lap.
"Well we won`t disappoint them then. Look at who I picked up though! He doesn`t have a name yet, you wanna help?" So did all the other plants also have names?
His questioning gaze prompted Joshua to answer the question, evident on his expression. "It`s only fair, all the other plants also have names. I named our first little Bonsai, Greta. Our Magnolia tree`s called-" Flo blended out the rest of Joshua`s plant-name- rant and turned on his phone, pointing the camera at Joshua. The other in turn quickly interrupted his rant and smiled at the camera, holding his precious bonsai.
"I`ll need help naming it." Is what he said as he send the pic to Jamal.
Flo
*picture of Joshua with the bonsai*
kimmich jr needs a name
Jamu
hahahahah
isnt that already a good name?
Flo
idk if senior will approve
also i wanted ur opinion
Jamu
fight for kimmich jr pls
if not im for christoph
trust me, josh will love it
"Christoph?" Flo said with a slight laugh, that only deepened as he saw Joshua`s expression. It was a mix of a surprised fish and a child being caught stealing.
"You asked Jamal didn`t you?" was Joshuas accusatory answer.
"The other option is Kimmich Jr if that`s-"
"No, Christoph`s fine. Fits him. He looks grumpy anyways." It seemed like Joshua had gone rather quickly from annoyed to content again.
Flo
he`s ok with christoph
why that name tho
Jamu
its leon`s middle name
That made sense then. If Florian had more energy left in himself, he would have questioned the hell out of his captain now, but frankly he was too tired and worn out now to really investigate what was behind Joshua`s and Leon`s more personal relationship. After all, he could always just ask Jamal.
*
The game against Bosnia went well, they won a fair and square 2:0 and while Florian didn`t score, he was content enough to have played his best in the game (although he felt some of his passes could have been great assists, if only a certain number 10 would have been there-). Leaving the credit to their wonderful new number 13. The number 13 that wouldn`t be playing tonight against the netherlands. It was insane how many injured players they were able to gather in just the last few days with just another one being Chris Führich.
Nevertheless, their mood before the game was relatively positive. Jamie and Angelo being excited about making their debut, Joshua and Rüdiger discussing some form of secret code for their defending strategy, one that Nico was probably supposed to listen to as well but seemed too absorbed into whatever was going on with his phone (it was brawl stars, Flo could swear). To Florian sitting on a corner bench, headphones on and-
Flo
are u gonna watch the game tonight
Jamu
what an insanely stupid question
no, my injury doesn`t allow it
Flo
so harsh
Flo looked at the screen for a bit. Should he?-
Flo
i miss u
i wish u were here
Jamu
oh well
What was that supposed to mean? As Flo asked himself that, Jamal had just sent a picture. Confused, Florian opened the picture only to look into the faces of Jamal and Leroy who were apparently... At the Allianz Arena?!
Suddenly Flo`s knee began bouncing and he felt himself begin to smile (like always), wanting to respond to Jamal immediately but instead being pulled up by his teammate Robert.
"Up cutie, we gotta get on the pitch now!" Those words startled Florian so much that he had to look up from his chat with Jamal.
"Up, what?"
"No, remember you said once `it smells like up cutie in here` and then I had to respond with-"
"No, no i get that but- doesn`t matter now, I`m coming." If Andrich wouldn`t have interrupted the younger blonde in this important of a chat he might have joked along and laughed. But while he was honored his legendary pick up line was still remembered, he would have rather responded to Jamal by now.
But instead he now had to wander on the pitch and begin warming up. If Jamal was really here, he would see Flo now and understand the lack of response. Or Flo atleast hoped so. If his gaze wandered among the crowds, searching, then that was simply because of the mass of people that were present and not the hope of catching a pair of particularly pretty brown eyes.
*
It was a curse. It had to be a curse. One moment he was fine. Running among his teammates, passing, dribbling, looking through the crowd- The next he suddenly felt something pull at his foot. Fuck. He got stuck. Luckily, the number 17 managed not to trip over himself and actually was able to play through the first half. Even through the limping and the obviously more and more ungraceful passes. He didn`t know if his teammates saw, though towards the end he got pointed glances from both Joshua and Rüdiger, clearly telling him to go off the pitch, Flo, you`re hurt.
He clenched his teeth and as soon as the whistle for the break blew, the player got himself off the pitch and towards their trainer. He had to uncomfortably tell him that a switch-in for him would be needed.
Nagelsmann, while not unbothered but apparently well prepared due to recent fall outs of players, only nodded, telling the young player to quickly go and check in with the medics to avoid further injury. "Do you need someone to go with you?" His trainer asked before Florian could fully turn away.
"No, I-" And suddenly he saw him and it was as if his pain was immediately relieved. He swallowed his surprise and turned to his coach again.
"I`ll be fine on my own." Were Florian`s final words on the pitch that night. The trainer only looked at him and nodded again, a knowing glint in his eyes as he had previously followed Florian`s gaze.
Despite the pain, Flo`s legs carried him gracefully (but limping) towards the figure he spotted mere moments ago but that had already captivated all of his attention. His smile, or more grimace due to his conflicting physical and emotional responses was fully directed at only one person. One in a fluffy yellow jacket and a beanie dragged down their face.
"Jamu." Were the first words that quietly escaped Flo`s mouth and he swore they were so quiet, the person in question could probably never have heard them. He further stumbled towards Jamal`s direction, practically falling into the taller ones arms.
"You idiot, what the hell are you doing?" Though the words alone seemed harsh, there was no actual malice in them. Especially since they were muffled by Flo`s hair, on which Jamal`s head leaned on. It was more like the fondness that Flo had missed so much these past days. The one that could, hypothetically, call him the most atrocious footballer in the history of forever and just because of the tone, anyone would still think of it as an term of endearment.
"I don`t know, Jamu. It was just so tough without you and man, I tried. I really did-"
"And you did great!" Were Jamal`s thrown in words of encouragement. He noticed how Flo got slightly choked up by the whole ordeal.
"Yeah, I know, I know. But man..." Flo was taking deep breaths, straight from Jamal's jacket inhaling his sweet and cozy smell that always brought a definite comfort to Florian. Like blankets and candles, that`s his smell.
"But?" Said Jamal, tempting Flo to break his silence.
"The grass got me good." Was all Florian was able to say and he could hear the little giggles that formed in Jamal's chest upon hearing Florian's response.
I probably sounded like a little kid that busted his kneecaps. And it was exactly what he sounded like. He could feel Jamal now slightly shaking them both with his giggles. Those that were now very badly muffled by the top of Flos head.
"Jamu! That`s not funny! I`m hurt!" Is what Flo brought out, extending his arms from Jamal to get a clear look at him.
Still he kept his hands on the others waist, for balance only of course, while looking away to hide the small blush that had creeped up upon his cheeks. So much as to get a clear view of him.
As Jamal`s laugh quieted down, he placed one of his hands on the side of Flos face while the other remained slung over his shoulder. Florian`s breath slightly hitched and he tried to keep his focus on what Jamal was saying but now actually the pain was kind of catching up with him and the adrenaline was slowly losing it`s side effects so that Flo completely missed his companions next words and instead of a response, just dropped his head to the others shoulder.
"Flo?" Jamal responded startled, thinking his words must have had a more powerful effect on Flo than intended.
"M´fine, pain`s catching up though, can we please just go to the medics now?" He didn`t need to listen to Jamal's response since he could feel the other boys arm snaking around his waist, helping the shorter one on his trip.
"So glad you`re here..." Florian said as he leaned more of his weight on his teammate. He could feel the smile that pulled itself together at the corner of his friends lips.
"Of course, wouldn`t have missed you for the world."
`Wouldn`t have missed you for the world`
*
"So... I guess we`re both injured now, huh?" Were the words that first left Jamal's mouth as the medical examiners first left the room. They had looked at Flo`s injury and while they could`t really say what exactly it was yet, they had already made clear that the next Bundesliga games certainly weren`t Flo`s to play (not the full 90 minutes atleast). Flo had gotten off the stretcher table and hopped on one leg over to the small bench that Jamal was sitting on.
"Seems like it." Flo said as he let himself drop beside Jamal. Maybe Flo would have been happy in another universe in this situation, but currently he was pretty dazed from the pain medication he had gotten. He didn`t even notice that he was bouncing his leg again until Jamal`s hand fell on top of his thigh, effectively stopping his friends action and fixing him with a look that said "Don`t".
"You should keep your leg still, you know, might worsen the injury." Jamal didn´t meet his gaze but he also didn`t move his hand from where it lay, reassuringly on top of Flo`s, now still, leg.
"Reminds me, how`s yours?" Florian`s words slurred slightly, they had given him quite effective pain killers, though his exhaustion from playing the match before also did it`s work on making him sound pretty hammered. He laid his head on Jamals shoulder, feeling the other tense a little at his action but relax just shortly afterwards. He`s so comfortable.
"Well, shouldn`t worry about me right now, but I`m pretty good. Doing my recovery exercises and all that. Think I can be back on the field soon." Jamal`s voice was quiet. Only for him to hear. Not that anyone else was in the room, but it still made Florian feel all warm inside. I missed him so much.
"I missed you too, dude." Jamal said with a slight laugh in his sweet voice. As Florian turned his head slightly gazing at Jamal in an rather odd angle, considering his head was still on his shoulder, his friend responded: "Yes, you did say that out loud." He wore an endearing smile, that, weren`t he so out of it, would have made Florian melt on the spot.
"Well it`s true. I love the other guys don`t get me wrong but-" He propped himself up to get a better look at Jamal`s eyes. "- first, so many are sick and injured, second Joshua was literally always checking up on me like an overprotective mother hen. Or he and Robert were planting literal trees. And lastly I was absolutely beaten in Mario Kart by Deniz and Rüdiger and if it wasn`t Mario Kart, Maxi made a fool of me in all 10 rounds of Mario Party! That gave me childhood flashbacks from when I was beaten at basically every game by my older siblings! Oh and Nico-" Flo`s rant was abruptly interrupted by Jamal, as he asked: "God, is he still addicted to Brawl Stars?" Barely keeping his laughter in check.
"Yes! Jamu, he spent 50 euros on that damn brawl pass! In only four days!" Florian could barely keep his laughter in check now as well, just like his voice which pitched slightly at the 50 euros part and absolutely cracked by the end when the both of them just couldn`t contain their laughter anymore. They were leaning on eachother for support, completely ignoring the voice of the excited commentator, that halled throughout the entire stadium and over the small TV that was monitored in one corner of the medic room.
Only after a while did the two footballers look up to the screen and see the 1:0 lead that their team had accomplished thanks to Jamie`s second attempt and it not being off-side.
"If I would have shot a goal, I would have dedicated it to you." Was what Florian said, eyes long forgotten the TV screen and rather focused on the person right next to him. He thought back to all those moments on the pitch. Whenever he had shot a goal for his nation. And all his teammates ran to him, cheering, celebrating, hugging him. He thought back to those moments and realized something. Jamal was always there. And for him, the number 17 always bared the brightest of all his smiles. Him, he always cradled in his arms. And he, when Jamal would shoot a goal, was in turn the first person the other ran to. Florian`s eyes fell to Jamal`s hand, still resting on his leg and as usual, Florian couldn`t contain the smile that seemed to slip onto his lips. His hand met Jamal`s on top of his thigh which made the dark-haired midfielder look at him. As their eyes met, it was as if Flo`s smile was infectious, instantaneously spreading onto Jamal`s face as well.
"You`re very special to me Jamal. I guess that`s what I learned this past week. Had a lot of time to think about it." He said the last part with a small laugh. He didn`t really know what he exactly felt towards Jamal, but because of his current situation he kind of related it to the painkillers- everything about right now sucks. He`s in pain, injured and probably unable to play the next few weeks and he can`t celebrate his teams goal along with them on the field. But Jamal is here and somehow that makes everything better. Atleast that`s what his slightly drugged brain could comply with as he leaned his head on Jamal`s shoulder again. I could stay like this forever.
The thought that his very bare and adoring words were causing Jamal a whole internal panic right now- only being strengthened by the contineous physical touch- completely flew by Flo as he closed his eyes and slowly began to doze off on Jamal`s shoulder. So they sat there. Flo and Jamal. Jamal and Flo. Arm to arm. Knee to knee. Head on shoulder.
And as Flo napped and Jamal processed his friends words, Germany won 1:0 against the Netherlands. But that seemed to happen in a universe far away from the one Flo and Jamal currently occupied.
*
"Flo! Are you good?" Those were the words that greeted the blonde upon entering the german team`s changing rooms. Of course, it was their captain who first approached him with a worried look fixed on him. Despite Joshua`s worry, it was evident the majority of emotions that filled their team`s locker room, were positive and even their worried captain seemed relatively relaxed when he approached their injured teammate.
"I`m fine, don`t worry. You guys played good. Where`s our man of the match?" Flo asked still slightly drowsy while looking around the room for Jamie. Jamal had been gentle in waking him up, (though he swore he wasn`t asleep! Just dozing off a bit-) Flo was still more dragged than walked to their changing room by Jamal. If it were anyone else he would have thrown a fit about it, but how could he when Jamal had so gently taken his hand and lead him the way while whispering sweet little nothings into his ear?
"Ah, he got the honor of taking the interview hit for me- Should be here soon though." Joshua didn`t seeem particularly sad about missing out on this games post-interview questions. He rather buried himself further into the comically large and fluffy hoodie he had changed into. One that certainly wasn`t from their national team collection. And one that, eventhough having the player number 8 printed on, could not possibly belong to their teammate Robert Andrich. Flo would know. Because Robert certainly doesn`t play as the number 8 for Bayern München.
Observant as always, Joshua followed Flo`s curious gaze and before the younger could ask him something about it quickly retorted:
"But, uhm, how is your injury?" The defender infront of him was dusted in a slight blush but kept up a good facade due to coming up with a clever question that Flo had to answer one way or another.
"They don`t know the specifics yet. But doesn`t seem like I`ll be playing any full length Bundesliga or Champions League games soon." He admitted, the defeated tone in his voice evident. It did weigh on him. Being in top form right now but being pressured to rest now so he`d get better soon. The dilemma of a professional football player.
"Well, I guess atleast Wusiala stays together mmh?" This bastard does not have the right to tease me about this while wearing Goretzka`s fucking hoodie! Or atleast something like that is what he wanted to reply when there was an intervention by yet another Bayern player.
"Think he prefers `Wirtziala`though, don`t you Flo?" Leroy Sanè`s smug expression came in view to his left peripheral and Florian internally rolled his eyes to the back of his head. Fuck Wusiala, I will never join this Bayern circus.
"Leroy! Great you`re here man! Come here-" As the old men continued to have their post-game catch up, Florian walked past them, gathering his stuff from the bench and looking around to see if he could spot Jamal anywhere.
He found him outside the changing room, talking to his friend and Netherlands national player, Joshua Zirkzee. They were in the middle of a conversation, so Flo decided to lean on the wall behind him and wait for Jamal to be done and get him. As he watched Jamal talk with his friend, he began wondering if this is also how Jamal talks to him. Or if he`s more excited and glowing when he`s talking with Flo. In the blondes eyes, he definitely appears so. And Flo finds himself hoping that. Hoping also, that it`s the same for him. That he also looks as beautiful in Jamal`s vision as he does in Flo`s.
Flo was only interrupted in his thoughts when yet another Bayern player poked at his shoulder, which shifted Flo`s gaze onto him.
"Oh Pavlo, hey man. Good game." Were the words coming out of Flo`s mouth as the younger midfielder jokingly asked him if he was even hearing him.
"Thanks! Sucks you had to go out though, hope the injuries not too bad-" he turned around to look at where Flo had previously stared at. "-did you know Jamal would be here? I only knew of Leon coming to the game." Theory of the not-so- mysterious number 8 hoodie, solved .
"Sorta. He and Leroy had sent me a message before the game announcing their arrival. " Aleks eyebrows shot up only a little, on his mouth a rather smug smile as he followed Flo`s gaze again. Jamal now seemed to notice the eyes laying on him, spoke a few more words with Zirkzee before turning away and waving a goodbye to his friend, now walking into Flo`s and Alek`s direction.
"Yep, already had enough of this action today. I`m gonna go now, see you around Flo and get better soon!" As Aleksandar walked past Jamal, he gave his Bayern teammate a wave on the way, quickly heading out towards the exits. Enough of this action? What does he mean? But Flo didn`t have enough time or care to really think about this question as Jamal already stood infront of him, hands in pockets, looking at Flo.
"Bonding with the enemy, huh Musiala?" Flo couldn`t help but detect an underlying tone of something sour in his tone. It wasn`t even intentional but apparently Jamal picked up on his intonation as well when he stepped closer, taking Florian`s backpack from his arm and jokingly retorting:
"Sure, we exchanged all our strategies with eachother. Don`t you know Zirkziala is the new thing?" The blonde loved when Jamal could detect the smallest note of bitter in his voice. And Jamal just knew exactly how to take the aromatics out of it. Because no, he couldn`t stay jealous or whatever else that emotion was, when Jamal looked at him like this. Like all he wanted to do while talking to Zirkzee was return to Flo to look at him. Because how ridiculous of Flo, to think anyone could be a better team than them.
Jamal`s comment still made him laugh and he half-sarcastically, half-honest answered:
"God, that sounds horrible. Though I`m also not too happy with either Wusiala or Wirtziala. Both sound so... stupid, I don`t know." Flo had now gotten off the wall and began making small steps away from the changing rooms, towards the exits. Jamal fell into step with him, his unoccupied arm slinging around the smaller midfielders waist again, helping him walk more smoothly. He wore a smile on his lips and cheekishly responded to Florian`s complaint with the idea:
"Well, how about our first names then?"
"Hmm... Not Jamian though, sounds like it could be me and Jamie instead." Flo`s face contorted. No disrespect to Jamie, but he`s just... Not Jamal.
"Man, my letters can never go first-" Was Jamal`s fake annoyed reaction.
"It just doesn`t sound good, sorry sweetie." Flo argued in a sassy tone.
"So? What else? Flomal...Flormal..."
"Floral, you idiot!" Flo said a bit louder, smile tugging on his lips again as Jamal only looked at him in his typical deer-in-headlights way.
As Jamal was about to open his mouth their chat was interrupted by the sound of distant chatter, that reached them the closer they got to the stadiums underground parking lot.
"Not something floral, you idiot! Joshua prefers more planty-plants, like his Bonsai`s and Monstera`s" Said an annoyed voice that seemed to be coming their way.
"But you said, your guys` home is already full of them! Bro, do you know what the DFB camp looks like? The last thing this man needs is more plants!" That was a different voice, one they both recognized as Serge`s. Flo had already wondered were his fellow teammate had wandered off to, usually sticking to the side of their captain.
Jamal, apparently either not in the mood to talk to his Bayern collegue or just wanting to go a different route, dragged Flo gently into a different direction, hiding them in the more dim light of the parking lot.
"Yes but every man needs love, esprecially if they`re the captain of the national team. And my boyfriend." And into view came-
"You are such a sap, Leon."
Flo almost jumped out of Jamal`s arms (when had they gotten so close?) as the side profile of none other than Leon Goretzka came into his view and he began to whisper-scream mere inches away from Jamal`s face :
"I knew it! I knew it! Josh was so suspicious the whole time!" And while he got away from Jamal and performed a little celebration dance of sorts (however his injury allowed him), Jamal only watched Flo with an amused expression, watching his every move.
Upon seeing Jamal`s face he turned to him and noticed two things. Why does he look so unsurprised and I really like when he looks at me like that.
"What?" Flo asked, a blush creeping upon his face. Why am I so warm?
"You know the whole `Kimmetzka` thing is like a whole open secret, right?" Jamal simply deadpanned.
"What, no! You never told me!" Flo said accusingly. It only widened Jamal`s amused smile and it prompted Flo to step closer towards his friend.
"Why?" Was Flo`s simple question.
"Why what?"
"Why didn`t you tell me they were a thing?"
"Didn`t know you were so interested in that." And that`s a good question.
Because why was I so invested in it? Flo felt himself unable to form a response, because he didn`t have one. There was no reason for him to be that invested in the love life of his collegues and friends. He never cared when Frimpong or Boniface talked about a new girl they had or when they asked him, if there was anyone he was interested in. The question sort of hit Florian out of nowhere and he simply couldn`t bring himself to answer with anything other than:
"I`m not... I-" He felt exposed. He felt unprepared to answer an internal question like that.
So he simply looked at Jamal, because usually that made everything easier. It didn`t make himself question these things. In Jamal he found reassurance and safety. He found warmth. And he found love. Love?
Sensing Florian`s inner turmoil Jamal took a step towards him and slowly snaked his arm around the others shoulder again, trying to nonchalantly help his friend walk again.
"You okay?" he still felt himself asking, accepting the time Florian needed to think, also kind of searching for an excuse in the pain meds for his friends off behavior.
"Yeah, yeah fine. Erm say, where are we even going? Like, are you gonna drive me to our hotel or?" was the question Florian settled on asking.
Jamal had been asking himself the same question. It would be no problem to drop Florian off at their teams hotel here in Munich.
But at the same time, he had also found himself wanting to ask Florian to stay with him. His home was pretty close by and it wasn`t like Flo had another Nations League game to get to in the morning. Or any game for that matter. With their injuries they could get a decent few days off and now that he already was in Munich, Jamal had hoped that they could atleast spend some of that time together. So he gathered all the courage he had and asked Flo:
"Well, I was thinking that... maybe you wanna stay with me for a bit? I live close by and since we`re both kind of out of order right now it would be okay for you to stay a bit. Only if you want to of course! But I`d have no problem having you over-" Jamal`s rambling was abruptly interrupted by the small giggle that had overtaken Florian`s previously nervous expression. His giggle was sweet and genuine, sounding breathless and careless, catching Jamal`s whole attention with it.
"Sorry, sorry." Flo said as his voice came back to a normal, conversational tone.
"I´d like to accept your invitation, Jamu. Not like I got a better place to stay at right now." he smiled reassuringly at Jamal, his teeth slightly visible. Jamal`s pulse relaxed back down upon seeing Flo`s smiley expression and he threw a smile of his own back at him.
Flo buried his head into the crook of Jamal`s neck and it helped in shutting out all his previous worries. There`s another time for overthinking, not now.
"So when do we finally reach your car though?"
"Uhm, I think we kinda walked the wrong way."
"What?! Why?"
"Think I parked next to Leon and well... we hid from him so."
"So why did we keep on walking the wrong way!?"
The answer, that Flo was obviously in or close to a crisis-while-walking situation and Jamal didn`t wanna push his friend in a different direction suddenly, was one Jamal kept to himself.
So he just shrugged his shoulders and left it at that as a response. Exasperated, Flo took the others hand in his, turning them the other way around and said:
"You owe me. For that, you are on dinner duty for tonight and atleast the next 3 days as well."
Though he was tired and annoyed, he also smiled at himself again for how domestic that sounded. Even if this small, doubtful, little part of himself that had previously haunted him was still somewhere inside of himself, he rather focused on Jamal. His reciprocating smile, the fond roll of his eyes, the warmth of his hand and the way his voice gave a sarcastic intonation as he said:
"Well be prepared for three consecutive nights of Maultaschen à la Jamal!"
"Please no." Flo responded, smile in his voice evident.
"Yeah don`t worry, I also have normal potatoes." Jamal said, poking fun at him while getting his car keys out of his pocket, never letting go of Flo`s hand.
"God, I hate you."
"You love me."
And Florian couldn`t find it in himself to disagree.