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The window slid open, a large set of legs clambered through the open gap. He was ushered inside, stumbling over the ledge to jump down onto the floor below as quietly as he could manage - he had always been cursed with heavy footing. Fenris closed the window carefully and returned to sitting on his bed with his legs crossed. Hawke dusted himself off from the awkward entrance but there was no chance of him using the front door in this situation. He was used to it by now though, climbing through Fenris's bedroom window wasn't exactly a new predicament. He sighed as he sat beside his boyfriend, causing the bed to dip.
"I got here as soon as I could." he said quietly, they had to be quiet otherwise Hawke would be discovered and that was a situation neither one of them wanted to find themselves in. Fenris nodded, his hands fisted the material of his skinny jeans.
"Thank you," he thanked him. "I really appreciate it."
Hawke chuckled softly, kicking off his shoes and bringing his feet up onto the bed. Fenris drew his gaze up from looking at the floor to at the smiling man sat opposite him and saw the way his smile dropped as soon as he got a good look at his face.
"You know you don't have to thank me Fenris. I'll be here for you whenever you need me." he told him, reaching out to grab at one of his hands gently. Fenris let him, Hawke's fingers rubbing lightly over the rough skin on his knuckles. Fenris sighed, bowing his head again, shielding his eyes with his white hair.
"I'm sorry it has to be this way. I'm going to get out of here as soon as I can." Fenris murmured. Hawke squeezed his hand.
"Don't apologise. It's not your fault," Hawke was quick to reassure him, he wouldn't have Fenris blaming himself for the way things were. The teen had such terrible luck as it were, he didn't need to feel sorry for himself on top of that. Hawke was going to make sure he felt as comfortable as possible around him. He nudged closer to him. "Can I have a look at least?"
Fenris inhaled sharply but nodded. Hawke reached out with his other hand to brush along Fenris's jaw. He tilted his head, lifting it so Fenris was staring back at him once again. Hawke swallowed roughly as he drank in the sight. Fenris had such beautiful olive skin and a pair of striking green eyes he could get lost in. It wasn't fair, Hawke concluded, that someone would ruin such a masterpiece. He ran his thumb softly along his cheek just underneath the bruising around his black eye before pushing a stray strand of hair behind his ear. Hawke wanted to touch the sensitive area, wishing he could swipe his fingers along the dark purple mess and have it disappear.
Danarius was crafty in how he punished Fenris, it was rare that he ever went for such a direct approach. Hawke could feel his stomach twist in disgust the more he thought about the teen's guardian. He was a sick, sick man who put on a charming facade. He was strict, over-bearing, Hawke had to buy Fenris a cell phone himself for Danarius would've never let him buy one himself. He needed contact with Fenris, a signal for when he was upset or something bad happened. A charger along with it, Hawke knew Fenris had a little latch under his bed where he could secretly charge the device with a hidden plug socket. Somehow, it had managed to escape Danarius's watchful eye but Fenris figured it must just be that Danarius rarely bothered him in his bedroom.
Danarius would've never approved of Fenris's relationship with Hawke. He had to be wary about being seen with him. Who knew what would happen if he found out? Inviting Hawke into his home was a risk in itself, he didn't want to know the consequences if Danarius found them laying in bed together. That's why it had to be the window, Fenris wasn't entirely sure how Hawke managed it but he assured Fenris he had his ways and even so, he would find a way if he needed him that badly. Fenris relied on texting Hawke to come over, but only when he desperately needed him. He felt selfish afterwards, staring at the screen of his phone and being tempted to delete the message. He didn't want Hawke to worry but he knew he would only worry more if he let it slide. It was best if he was just honest with him, even if it meant that growing hate for Danarius Hawke felt spiralling in his gut only got bigger and more vicious. Fenris wondered if Hawke was going to snap one day, he wasn't sure if he could find it in himself to stop him if he did, if he did grab Danarius by the throat and tell him where he could stick it. Hawke was bigger than Danarius, probably stronger too, the shameful thoughts that led Fenris to think were ones he wished he could forget. Hawke would never turn into the man Danarius was, he felt the need to scrub himself clean of the thought for having it in the first place. He would be in trouble if he were to turn out that way. Hawke was stronger, bigger, and had more power over Fenris's heart than Danarius ever had. Fenris thought he'd rather die. But Hawke was a gentle soul, a giant teddy bear he thought with a smile. He would never lay a finger on him he didn't ask him to. That was what he loved about Hawke. He was too perfect.
Hawke knew he had been lingering too long when Fenris lifted his hand slowly to pry his hand off his face. He smiled at him, a soft curve on his lips before he looked down again appearing almost ashamed. Hawke knew Fenris didn't like to be stared at. He settled for squeezing his hand again.
"May I kiss you?" he asked. His eyes moved down to Fenris's slightly parted lips.
"You don't have to ask, Hawke." came Fenris's reply. Hawke nodded, leaning in close and kissing him. Fenris closed his eyes with slight reluctance as Hawke moved his lips against his, it was tender and gentle. Fenris felt Hawke's patchy facial hair that had just begun to sprout rubbing against his much smoother skin. He allowed Hawke to push him back onto the bed, nipping at his lip and running his tongue lightly along the small indent of the bite. The cell phone left forgotten on the nightstand beside the bed, the flashing of a text message still on the screen.
Shallow for breath, Hawke pulled away hesitantly. He gazed down at him, strands of white hair splayed out on the pillows, cheeks pleasantly flushed with dampened lips from their kiss. Beauty in its finest, excuse for the disgust that crawled over his face like an infectious disease. Hawke wished he could kiss the bruises better, the ones on his face, the ones that no doubt trailed beneath the collar of his t-shirt. He dreamed he could piece together the parts of Fenris that he loved ever so dearly. He only wanted to make him whole.
He slumped slightly, caving around Fenris and pressing a few kisses under his jaw and at the top of his neck, listening to his rhythmic breathing and the way it hitched when he kissed him. He had to be careful, Fenris was much smaller than he (although still toned from all the athleticism) so he had to be careful how much weight he put on him. Fenris's hand reached up to run through Hawke's messy brown hair. He smiled when he did so, still not quite over the fact he had this work of art here with him.
"I'm going to get you out of here." he promised him, whispering in his ear. Fenris closed his eyes as their foreheads pressed together, noses brushing against each other. He squeezed Hawke's hand back. He wished they could lay in this moment forever but there was no time for dreaming in this reality.
"I await the day," he replied, pressing a shaky kiss to Hawke's lips. Hawke's eyes fluttered open again, letting go of all grasp he had on Fenris who opened his eyes to question it. "You're too good for me."
Hawke rolled to the side, almost falling off the bed in the process causing Fenris to stifle a chuckle which he quickly had to silence. He scooted underneath, pulling Fenris on top with a grin. This bed was hardly big enough for the two of them. Fenris found no energy to fight it, laying on him with a huff. He rest his head on Hawke's chest as Hawke's fingers found themselves creeping around his waist until his entire arms were pulling their bodies tight together. Their warmth radiated onto one another.
"Don't say such ridiculous things. I want to be with you. We can find a house far away," Hawke spoke up, dismissing Fenris's previous comment, gaze fixated up at the ceiling. Fenris glanced up at him, wondering where he was going with this speech. "It'll be nice, it doesn't have to be too big. But big enough to have a bed that'll actually accommodate both of us," Fenris smiled as he kept talking. "And I can cook you breakfast every morning, you can sleep in for as long as you want. Maybe we could get a dog, like a guard dog or something. Cute as a button though, he can sleep at the end of the bed."
"Not every night I hope." Fenris muttered and Hawke stopped to look at him. Fenris worried he had said something out of place but Hawke had to cover his mouth to snicker. A wave of relief washed over Fenris.
"No, not every night, that would be awkward don't you think? But speaking of..." Fenris's heart raced. "When you were ready, we could do that too. I'd take good care of you, make love to you. In our big bed, far away, just the two of us. Not a care in the world, we won't have to worry about anything. Not a thing except maybe what to eat for dinner."
Fenris shuffled up to press another kiss to Hawke's lips. He smiled into the kiss, pressing back with enthusiasm. Hawke's fingers found themselves tangled in the material of Fenris's shirt, causing it to rise slightly showing off the skin above the waistband of his jeans. He never wanted to pull away, intoxicated on Fenris's kiss. Drunk for more, the second they parted and inhaled a breath, Hawke pulled him back for another. Nothing mattered whilst they were together like this. Hawke just sincerely hoped that Danarius wouldn't be the death of Fenris. He had to bear it for now, for moments like this where they could hold each other.
"I love you." Hawke said as they parted, looking into Fenris's eyes. Fenris paused, reaching up to caress the bristles of facial hair.
"I know," he replied after a moment. Hawke just smiled as he pulled him tightly into his arms again. He didn't need Fenris to say it to know he felt it. He knew it was difficult for him, everything was all messed up in his life after all. Fenris was grateful for Hawke being the only sane thing, the only thing to keep him grounded in this cycle of hurt. "I am yours."
Hawke pressed a kiss to the top of Fenris's head and assured him that everything was going to be okay. Fenris didn't entirely like the cliché of it but somewhere deep down, it comforted him. Together, they could clean up this mess.
Hawke made Fenris believe many things that he knew he couldn't on his own.