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It was hard to remember a time when the world wasn't this horrible. When it was ending.
He didn't remember a time when the world wasn't sad but he pretends like he did. Even the smallest of pieces can make a big happy picture.
The world looked happy to him when he forgot. He liked being happy. While he has his world end he learns a few things like how to lie and smile. The world wasn't going to end for everyone. Only for him.
He looks out the window at it. It is gray and smooth and has a machine driving up it. He remembers the name machine which was a fun one. He wasn't good with names, instead using words for things that aren't names.
He knows one name at least,Mattie .
Mattie was only down stairs but he was no longer allowed to say that because he got yelled at every time he mentions it he was yelled at by mr.
He wasn't sure if mr liked him anymore.
“May I come in ██████ ?” That was dr. Dr was scary sometimes but still calm with him, dr as understanding.
“Yeah.” He didn't talk much anymore, he doesn't remember if that was a new thing or a surprising thing.
“We've been working on names a lot haven't we.” He nodded. “From my understanding you use pronouns or prefixes instead of nouns but we've been working on that.”
“Red.” He knew that from the last lesson.
“Yes,like colors. Today we are going to do a different thing. Sapes.” He looked down at the grays that last time had colors on them.
>><<
Dr was gone now. The room was quiet and no one was here. As he looks out the square, a shape he learned today, he tries to think about the assignment of naming things and their shapes.
He looked at the machine trying to find a shape that was similar to it before he heard another nock on the door. Doctor had just left so it must be Mr as the man walked into the room Mr gave him a sad look.
“Hey chap, how are you today?”
“Good.” He still didn't like talking and knew that mr was usually angry so why was he being nice now?
“I know I yelled at you last time but I just was stressed and I now know that you didnt mean anything bad.” He gave Mr a strange look and a head tilt questioning where this was going. “ I just miss Mattie.”
But Mattie was still here, He just was gone for a bit. “Where is Mattie?” He asked because Mr kept acting like he was gone or something.
Mr whipped his eyes once he started crying a bit and changed the subject, “does your head still hurt?”
Well that was a rather fucking stupid question and he managed to convey that with a simple are you joking look.
“Yeah well of course it is.” Mr sat next to him on the bed and wiped something from his eyes. “Do you think anything will ever be okay again?”
He stared at Mr in silence while Mr started crying more next to him.
“Do you want to hug Mr?” He gave a little head tilt like the bear in the book aout shapes that Dr gave him. He opens his arms wide to sort of offer a hug while Mr stares at him.
He stands there stillwaiting but Mr whispers something. “I might hurt you.”
“Oh.” He lets his arms down and yawns.
“Are you tired?” Mr asked as he started to lay down. Mr tucked him in and said something that he was unable to hear.
>><<
It was a cold winter day. He learned a lot more things from Dr but still. Doesn't know where Mattie is. He went home with Mr a few days ago and still hasn't seen the boy around the house.
Mr had gone down stairs to cook once he convinced Mr that he would be fine.
Where's mattie.
“Right here, silly.” There he is. He looks at Mattie but Mattie seems odd.
“Where have you been?”
“Somewhere you’ll be soon.”
“Can I come yet?”
“Iggiy still needs you.”
“Who's that?”
“Someone who cares very deeply about you. You have to let him be happy before you can come home. Can you do that?”
“Yes Mattie”
Mattie smiles and walks out the door just as MR calls that dinners ready and comes upstairs with some food.
Mr looks at him as he only nibbles at his food and says something. “I love you so much Alfred.Your the best brother the world could ask for and I’m sorry.”
“I love you to the moon and back, Iggy.”
>><<
Arthur pov after he left Alfreds room earlier
As Arther walked out the room he felt the urge to cry. Nothing will be ok. Mathew was dead, Alfred couldn't even remember how to count to four and their parents wanted to see him and Alfred after 4 years of no contact. Arthur knows that they want a piece of the money he going to get when he sews the fuck out of the drunk idiot who ruined his familys life.
He hated the world right now, he hates the man who murdered his brother by going 80 in a 30, he hates his parents who if they get some of the money wont care how thats supposed to help Alfred who will most likely never walk agin, he hates the god who decided to just fuck up his already not so good life, and he hates himself for failing to protect his siblings.
“How is he mon amour?” His boy friend Francias offers him a glass of water with an empathetic look in his eye.
Franicais was the reason he was alive right now. He had been helping with the paperwork, fightings Arthers parents while he still grieves, doing Arthers home and school work. Franicais is truly an angel sent from heaven, a blessing that Arther, a failure of a garudion doesnt deserve. But Alfred deserves. Help.
It’s the last time hes seeing Alfred before the court case and quite frankly,
He wishes death upon the idiot who did this.