Chapter Text
Cyno was practically internally condemned.
Amid times of feeling lost, he sought after his divine spirit’s presence for guidance, a blessing he swore to himself not to overexert his welcome in.
Focus on what must be done, it would chime. An echo Cyno was all too familiar with.
Hermanubis was never one to indulge Cyno in mortal desires. Fulfilling his proposed contract overruled all other matters, even if it did pitifully ache Cyno’s yearning heart at times. However, in moments when Cyno’s walls oh so humanly cracked to snare, Hermanubis would not answer him. Rather, Cyno would not dare ask. Such divine power should only be used to extinguish peril in Sumerian soil, not.. used for whatever feelings Cyno had in his chest whenever he thought about his best friend.
The General Mahamatra, vessel of the divine being Hermanubis, reticent scholar graduate, and venerated Sumerian luminary, was tormented by love.
Because how could he not be?
It was an allure; a natural indulgence. And right now, the campfire embracing Tighnari’s sepia-colored skin did nothing more than encourage that distant heartbeat growing rapider by the second.
Perhaps he should’ve known this would’ve been his fate ever since he first let his walls down around him. Though he had only a close amount of friends, none other than Tighnari ever filled Cyno with such… unfathomable warmth. So pretty. So lovely. Absorbed with such admiration, the world around him was but dim in all senses. A distant mumble next to him returned him to reality.
“Mister Albedo, I apologize for the work related issues during your break but…”
The soft yet sudden sound was enough to snap Cyno’s senses as he gazed upwards. He caught sight of Collei’s questioned smile, as if she was trying to subtly nudge Cyno out of a haze — was he staring at Tighnari this whole time?
If he was, Tighnari fortunately paid no mind to it. He mimicked Collei’s smile before she turned to fidget at her clothing, earning a brief scolding from her master for accidentally loosening a seam of her shawl. Warmth embraced Cyno’s core at the sight. The upwards curve of Cyno’s lips was against his will.
Albedo and his assistant uttered about matters Cyno automatically drowned out due to respect of privacy. Their shared words were of little concern to Cyno. What he did catch however, was the assistant’s quiver as Cyno accidentally made eye contact with her. Sucrose’s timid personality and the Mahamatra’s daunt presence weren’t exactly meshable. A bit strange, but it wasn’t seldom of others to be wary of Cyno. Of course, he didn’t fault them for it; benevolence can be difficult to demonstrate when you’re constantly casting judgment from dawn to dusk.
When Cyno conveyed his concerns to Tighnari about this, he would briefly brush Cyno’s hand against his own in a gentle yet firm act of reassurance. Whether exhausted from work or basking in rare unwinding, Cyno let him. To be doted on by Tighnari was serenity. The way his tail briefly swung, his sage glowing eyes, the small breaths he’d subtly waver along the desert- how could Cyno not fall in love?
It was all far from a temporary feeling.
The night went on as the moon rose to its peak. The campfire began its dim descent as a slight breeze wavered through the air. The Traveler carried on recounting recent adventures as Collei occasionally chimed in and shared her own. A garrulous play, one he was easily swayed to.
Crisp flames shone against Tighnari’s lips as they moved. Collei’s apprenticeship was brought up along with Tighnari’s own experience with mentorship, to which Cyno distantly smiled with amusement. It's natural. It's your Collei-ing. No, another time- is what he should’ve obeyed. The words rolled out of his tongue, his ears picked up thick silence instead.
Except… for a chuckle sprung by.
As long as others would be less intimidated by him, he didn’t mind his jokes’ unpopularity (provided that it didn’t genuinely bother them). It was a given, especially with the delivery of his stoic demeanor not matching the jokes’ delivery, as Tighnari would say. He struggled with showing emotions, that much was obvious, but he decided that the act would suffice to make up even a portion of it. Sometimes he’d even be greeted by a playful jab from Tighnari after he told a pun he didn’t particularly find hilarious. It was all a small price to pay for others to be less on edge by him, he believed.
And yet, he never would’ve believed that his humor would ever be something… praised for.
It was a strange feeling, compliments. How strange it was, the faint warmth that began skittering up his chest. How strange it was, that warmth coming from someone who wasn’t Tighnari.
“Are you laughing?” Cyno glared at Albedo in disbelief. “There’s no way you actually like them.”
“I do love them. What you could say is a shame that others don’t share the same sentiment, I’d argue that it makes it all the more special.” An unnatural sense of adrenaline formed at Cyno’s tongue. Was he hearing this correctly? Albedo’s tone lit up his ears. “And, I find it accusatory of me not to say how captivating they are to hear.”
Cyno’s chest suddenly tightened, yet despite that distant glow, a tinge of hollowness coursed through his veins at the feeling. Cyno chose to ignore it, instead focusing on the careful chorus of the flame’s disparage as it distantly warmed him, a prayer for albedo to continue. A painful prayer to keep his mind off of his viewed sinful feelings for his best friend.
Cyno’s relationship with Tighnari was… multifaceted. They had a bond closer than those around them, all their acquaintances dared say such. However, to Cyno and him, their friendship seemed just like that — a friendship and nothing more. Of course, being best friends for more than a decade guaranteed their bond, as well as that dreadful longing. Cyno pitifully knew all too well.
How desperately Cyno yearned to confess to his friend during one of their midnight walks under the starlit sky. Or reach out for his hand during one of their forest herb runs in urging temptation as his hand briefly brushed against Tighnari’s as he affably handed Cyno a herb he couldn’t care less about — because how could he? Nothing else mattered when Tighnari hummed about herbs and soil with such gentleness that it soothed even the deepest of Cyno’s worries. It was hard not to concentrate on the way his chest warmly lightened.
Simply put, Cyno was beyond infatuated.
The general had fallen for his friend, and he prayed the gods would pity him enough to rid him of his heartache, or at the very least quell it as much as possible. Loyalty was what Cyno strived for, and he believed the largest act of devotion he could bestow onto his beloved friend was to discard his own selfish pursuit for more and preserve their precious amiability - nothing more, nothing less.
So when Albedo’s charm left Cyno with that strange familiar tinge slowly enveloping somewhere in his chest, he began contemplating if he and Tighnari were still a foreign concept. After all, his little crush had prolonged a decade. Cyno was patient, but he would be lying to himself if he said that his doubts about reciprocation hadn’t lingered on his mind since he first made the discovery all those years ago. Lingering years of pent up limerence, all potently causing his heart to ache.
With Cyno’s agape pause, Albedo offered to continue. “I believe your humor provides a simple yet pure joy that can be rare to come by. Rarities like these simply must not go unnoticed.”
Tighnari surely harbored no romantic feelings for him, so if Cyno wanted to indulge in some casual flirting, maybe it would help ease him out of his internal feelings for his best friend. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to open up to what was once a foreign concept- to kindle new sparks to preserve the old.
And with the way Albedo was looking at Cyno with such selfless indulgent eyes, perhaps it was for the best. “That's the first time someone has complimented them... I dare say you yourself are the rarity.” And yet… Cyno would be lying if he said his chest swelled with vague unclear emotions.
“Well, I think you have an intriguing sense of humor and personality. I’ve never met anyone quite like you.” Albedo’s smile blinded his vision, yet, with the way Tighnari’s tail briefly swung in the corner of Cyno's eye, he was reminded of the infatuation he pained to reminisce.
It’s fine. Everything was fine.
“Really? I could say the same. This is the first time I've ever met someone that finds my dry humor entertaining, much less hilarious.” He needs to move on. And right now, a kind opportunity held its hand open for him. Cyno reached to take it.
“I believe that’s what makes encounters like these so special. What a wonderful encounter it is to grow acquainted with you.”
Cyno bit the bullet. “Well Chief Alchemist, you could say we have some… chemistry”
Albedo let out an airy laugh. A sigh of relief left Cyno’s lips.
“Yes, and I quite find it charming,” Cyno couldn’t help but gaze at the way Albedo’s palms softly rested against his jaw- nor could Cyno ignore the slight warmth in his stomach that glistened. It was then that everything became confusingly clear.
Though still, his chest distantly ached.
“Say, there is more to Mondstadt that I’d love to show you around. You and company, of course. It is quite a sight, especially during the night.”
Cyno pondered for a moment before taking him up on his offer. “What do you say, Tighnari?”
Tighnari blinked as his gaze locked still on Cyno. An unreadable atmosphere lingered. “I appreciate the offer, but I'll have to pass. It’s already late enough and Collei and I need to rest up for tomorrow. You still feel free to have fun, though.”
Eyes still locked interchangeably, Cyno’s gaze swept towards the dimming flame. Albedo nodded before facing the traveler. “Very well. And you, Traveler, Paimon?” Before the Traveler could respond, Paimon interjected. “Ooh, can we stop by some food stands? Paimon heard that most of the Mondstadt sweets are baked at this hour to have them fresh in the morning and Paimon hasn’t had any fresh Mondstadt treats in ages!” The traveler hummed. “Perhaps another time. We still have lots to do for the festival. You two have fun though!” The Traveler quickly sat up before the fairy had a chance to protest, shushing her away, much to her dismay.
“Then it’s just you and me then, Cyno. Although the others won’t be able to join us, I can at least have this chance to get to know you better one-on-one. I believe that more than makes up for it.”
“I agree, I have many jokes I’ve been plotting to say all night that I can spill during our outing.” Cyno crossed his arms.
“Well then, I'm looking forward to hearing them if you’re willing to share. I have some quick matters to attend to at the moment but, I’ll meet you by your dorm in a bit if you’d allow me.”
–
It wasn’t long before everyone parted, yet, it still felt an eternity to Cyno walking back to his shared room. The creak on his room’s door mirrored that near the corner of the room, to which Cyno walked in on the sight of Tighnari sorting herbs splayed out on their shared mattress.
“Ah, Cyno. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“You have?” The words barely above a whisper. But it was enough. For Tighnari, it was more than enough.
“You weren’t actually thinking that I’d let you walk around with that gash on your back?” Tighnari gently brushed Cyno’s vision slightly downward for better access. “Why? Is it such a di-vision for you?” Cyno grinned at Tighnari’s eye-roll before adjusting the clasp on his vision. The attentiveness was far from expected. Cyno was used to faring scars over his body, it came with the job. However, it was a recent one that must’ve gone unnoticed if not even he knew of its presence until then. Strange, but Tighnari’s tending wasn’t an unwelcome act. Cyno smiled. “It's merely a blemish.”
Cyno had no time to react before Tighnari reached for his hand. Tighnari sighed. “With potential to attract infection. Come, I'll bandage it quickly.”
“Quite insistent, aren’t you?” Still, he obeyed, sitting on the mattress across his best friend.
Tighnari scoffed. “I have to be or else you wouldn’t offer yourself.” Cyno let his eyes rest upon the silhouette of gloved hands gently pressed against his spine. “Medicinal herbs are meant to be used, you know? Be glad you’re not negligent enough to eat a poisonous mushroom.” Tighnari ran the tip of his fingers along the wound, careful not to stimulate pain.
“Yet I still receive an earful nonetheless,” Cyno scoffed at Tighnari's smile at the remark.
“I only want the best for you,” Cyno busied his gaze around the room. Anything to distract himself from the flowing flowery palpitations blooming in his chest.
A beating heart and its culprit. Tighnari, a soul so genuine that never held Cyno to the same expectations others did. Cyno was never one for many words, yet Tighnari always stood close to listen to each rare one he uttered. Cyno wore sharp eyes that intimidated most people… but not Tighnari.
Tighnari. Tighnari, Tighnari.
For what felt like eons, he turned his once sharp eyes into uncharacteristic timid ones. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t speak. Everything was guiltily unbeknownst to Tighnari.
It always hurt, looking at his best friend while knowing he had hidden romantic intentions. As long as Cyno longed for Tighnari as more than a friend, he feared he was deceiving him with every seemingly platonic act because greedily, Cyno knew he wanted more. What sin has he committed in his past life to be incarnated into this?
Tighnari unsheathed his claws.
In rare instances, he’d take off his gloves to prod at the occasional butterfly or toad nesting in his home garden. Few eyes have ever seen his claws raw and barren. Even fewer have ever seen the paw pads underneath his light brown palms. Soft warm pads pressed against Cyno’s skin. Cyno basked in the privilege.
I must retain my composure.
Tighnari hummed after a while of silence, Cyno broke it with a murmured tone. “And if I were to deny you? If I carried on with the scar and got infected? If I carried on wounded and ill because I said no?”
Tighnari took Cyno’s arm in hand, revealing another small gash at the side of his stomach at the open exposure. “Then I'd look at you wounded and ill and call you a moron for not listening to me.” Tighnari sighed.
Oh, how delightfully light he felt. A strange sensation indeed.
When Cyno would come home wounded from combat (which was a common occurrence for the matra), Tighnari would patch him up with soft prudent hands. Tighnari would wipe debris off of hoary eyelashes and brush bangs behind dark brown ears. He’d glide herb concunctions along blistered ecru lips while gentle berated whispers flowed out of his mouth. Occasional glimpses of worry would cloud his eyes at any pressure Cyno flinched at. Cyno always fawned at the sight.
Before Cyno could fully bask in their ritual, Tighnari took his gloves off. His bare hands weren’t a rare sight to Cyno but they still caught him by surprise every time, less so by their physical differences and more due to the gesture of trust Tighnari had in him to show him this vulnerable side of himself.
How heavenly the hands that held light palms and paw pads underneath the tips of his fingers were.
Cyno didn’t question Tighnari for the act, not wanting him to potentially put his gloves back on due to the attention of the comment.
And so, there they were. The Forest Watcher, the General Mahamatra, and the General’s foolish heart thumping at mere paw pads subtly kneading against his skin. A practice Cyno basked in, no matter how many times he experienced it. A practice Tighnari would seemingly never know the true intimacy of.
“Thankfully though, you’re obedient, and the imprudence of such a bothersome situation sounds absurd for someone like you.”
“Someone like me?” Soft, tender. And suddenly, everything mellowed away.
Then, a different pressure graced his skin.
“Someone… who’s you.” Tighnari placed an arid concoction on the center of his back’s wound. The dried blood disintegrated under the touch. It briefly stung. Was Tighnari giving him acid or aid?
Cyno held back a twitch.
Tighnari swiftly finished his care and gazed at Cyno, who looked at him as if he was the most precious valuable in the world. Because to him, Tighnari was and more. How strange his heart contradicted, withered and worn. But still, the pang in his heart was growing harder and harder to ignore.
“Be more careful. My status doesn’t align with tending to you every moment you get injured. I watch over the forest, not you.”
“You do a good job of doing both. Being experienced by habit has its advantages.” Tighnari briefly gazed up before continuing his rearrangements. “Is that so? Why don’t you enlighten me?”
“Well, I get to see you every time you tend to me.”
“And yet when you do come to Avidya Forest, you try not to be seen or heard; a seeming fail since you know I pick up every decibel you utter.”
“I try to make my missions run smoothly. I don’t want to busy you until the situation is dire and necessary.”
Tighnari hummed. “Quite the words from you, General.”
“You’re a general too. Why not embrace the title with me?” Cyno knew the answer to this. He knew every little annoyance that plagued Tighnari’s mind. He knew every nuisance he’s ever uttered about and those unspoken but understood. Still, he stalled, and he knew why.
“I’d rather not entertain it. The term buried its meaning whenever I look at you.”
“I see,” the words flowed involuntarily. His lips danced before he could stop them. “Tighnari,” and his tongue stilled for a moment. “You’re my best friend.”
“As you are mine.”
“I’m grateful I met you.”
“Where is this sudden sob coming from? Have you injured your head as well?”
“I’ve merely been thinking for a while…” Cyno paused to look for the right words to not make himself seem more smitten than he already is. “How lucky I am to be with you. All these experiences I have the pleasure of having. ”
Tighnari glared. “Turn around.”
“What?”
“I’m checking the back of your skull for any fractures.”
Cyno chuckled. “I’m serious, I really do enjoy your company above all.”
Tighnari sighed, dropping his hands below his waist. “Well, the feeling is mutual then.” Tighnari turned to briefly touch above his now bandaged gash. “How does it feel?”
Warm with your hands on me.
Cyno stretched his torso. “It hurts a bit but I'll be fine.”
“Good. I’ve been teaching Collei about the benefits of poisonous pollen. Just like some venomous animals, proper extraction is a near perfect cure. I’m sure she’ll be able to replicate most of the process that I showed you just now.”
Tighnari. All this time…
“That’s great to hear. How is she in her studies?”
“Great, though her patience in the fermentation stages could use some progress.”
I still adore you.
“What a great mentor you are.”
Tighnari smiled. “Thank you, I think she deserves some of the credit as well. I’ve merely been guiding her.”
“Thank you for taking care of her.” Ideals and desires never aligned with reality.
“Yeah...” Tighnari firmly shifted to another foot.
I still adore you.
“You’re a great teacher.” Cyno sighed. “And you’re a great guardian to Collei.”
“Mmm. I do what I can for her.”
“Like a mother?” Cyno teased.
“Like an older brother. Though she may not express it directly, a sister she is to you too, from how I see it.” A tinge of deduction ached within Cyno.
Gods, this was impossible to bare. Should any physical symptoms like lightheadedness were to occur, he wouldn’t know how to confess the root cause of it.
What am I to do? He would contemplate asking his spirit. Would such a distraction constitute as a sin for someone of his level of responsibility? Would abuse of power be justifiable for such a situation? Its company never faltered to linger, yet Cyno felt as if he was judged silently. Perhaps that was his own fears obscuring his judgment, or perhaps they were customs of what Cyno instinctively thought Hermanubis would enunciate in his mind. After all, justice never discriminated, even for the arbiter enforcing it.
And yet, ever so selfishly, Cyno couldn’t help but be infatuated with every crevice and sincerity of his best friend. His heart suddenly thumped. Words were never enough to encapsulate the admiration he felt for him. In fact, they merely restricted them.
Whatever. He can’t live like this forever. He needed a distraction, anything to distract him from it. It was a truly platonic bond. Nothing more, nothing less.
Somehow, his words did nothing but bring out his tension. “Why don’t you accompany me and Albedo? It would be nice to have you. A change of scenery could also give you a change of pace from back home.”
“While I appreciate the offer, I formally decline. Now, don’t come late. I’ll be waiting for you.”
Cyno’s heart flew. “Hah, really? You’ll wait for me? Wouldn’t you rather rest at this time of night?” If Cyno wasn’t a man of his word, perhaps he would’ve considered meeting Albedo to request their outing another time.
“I’ll wait for you in the comfort of the bed. I’ll be upset if I wake up on an empty mattress, so don’t die on me tonight, General.” Tighnari’s paw pads brushed on deep brown hands.
Soft sage caught dark red.
“In that case, I’ll try to be back soon.”
“Don't rush. Relax. Enjoy yourself”
“I'm relaxed when I'm with you.”
“Really? Considering I'm a valuable asset to your criminal investigations, I would've assumed otherwise.”
Cyno chuckled. His heart wavered.
No. He can’t succumb to such fantasies forever. But still… there was one thing Cyno didn’t understand.
The Forest Watcher always deemed chimes and physical affection as an unnecessary and scientifically unsubstantial form of aid. Never one to falter others practicing it out of domestic societal habit (albeit as long as they didn't rely on it as a cure for critical conditions), it was still a practice he claimed would waste his time.
So why…
Why did his lips' pressure linger on Cyno’s hand?