Archive of Our Own ^beta

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@seaweedbrain @wisegirl takes the suffering from me 😍 [the following is a video with the song Suffering from Epic: The Musical. Percy is seen in the canoe lake at Camp Half-Blood with the Naiads giggling around him. He is lip syncing to Siren Penelope’s lines. The clip then shifts to the doc where Annabeth has a jump rope around her ankle to the pier; she is singing Odysseus’ part while tucking her hair behind her ears. When Percy lip syncs the part about joining him and their daughter, he holds up a sea otter; his smile so wide he nearly breaks before it shifts back to Annabeth, who at this point is acting dramatic as she shakes from silent laughter but still does her best not to break.]

@lordoftheseas so how long did this take?

@da_lorax you would not believe how long it took for them to stop laughing for us to get this

@stoll1 it’s the otter for me

@seaweedbrain you’re just jealous that Frank was in the video instead of you

@stoll1 @seaweedbrain excuse you, I would make a fantastic siren right @kitkat

@amphitrite Perseus, dear, if you want lessons on how to utilize a siren’s call, you need only ask. And Annabeth, you make an excellent Odysseus :)

@sallyblue [video attachment: a three year old Estelle is holding out a bouquet of flowers to Annabeth as she says “Anna, I got you something!”

“You’re so sweet, Starfish!” Annabeth takes the flowers and wipes her tears away.

“What are you going to tell her?” Sally speaks off camera, humor is evident in the question.

“Um, Anna don’t cry cause you always be a bad bitch!” Estelle said grinning.

Percy is heard laughing hard off camera as Annabeth fails to hide her laughter as she hugs Estelle.] I love my two daughters

@goddessofwisdom Annabeth is not your daughter!

@sallyblue says the woman who disowned an amazing young woman and sent her on a quest that had killed her siblings before her and not once apologized for the treatment of my girl even after she recovered your pride personified and the reason she's crying

@lord_dodgeball YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

@USPS_Patron YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

@princetriton @sallyblue please adopt me

@lordoftheseas YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

@wisegirl I know no mother but the queen in the north whose name is Sally Jackson

@fatherofcocoapuffs [video attachment: Will is seen trying to herd the cocoa puffs until he gives up in frustration and starts belting Bella Ciao, at that point, the cocoa puffs are so enthralled by Will’s tenor voice that they stop bouncing all over and allow themselves to be picked up and put in a cat stroller] @will_med_you_up doesn’t sing my ass

@lord_dodgeball that is a bold face lie: all my children have voices of angels, William included

@will_med_you_up blasphemy i demand you delete this

@seaweedbrain [video attachment: a video of a walk down a New York Street with Full Speed Ahead from Epic: the Musical playing] Returning home from war after ten years away (I was at school one day) to my wife (annabeth <3) and our son (our puppy Nope) in the hopes that I don’t have to fight off her suitors (our homework) upon my return

@Aphrodite YOU GOT MARRIED AND DIDNT TELL ME???????????

@seaweedbrain we’re not married i havent even proposed yet!??

@lordoftheseas IM A GRANDFATHER????????????????????

@princetriton congratulations on fatherhood Perseus

@wisegirl @lordoftheseas it’s a hellhound puppy

@sallyblue YOURE PROPOSING???!!!!!!!!!!

@hazel_lawitch [video attachment: Nico and Jason are playing Mythomagic with Frank nearby eating a donut

“Have you been to a therapist, Nico?” Jason asked as he laid down a card.

“What for? I can diagnose myself in a heartbeat. I thought being invulnerable would protect me so I push people away for years, leading directly to my greatest fear: being alone. Big whoop.” Nico replied with his mouth full of donut.]

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@kitkat [video attachment: Connor and Travis are on a pull out couch in the rec room of the Big House where the Counselor meetings are held

Travis is laying horizontally, saying “if you don’t wanna hawk tua, I don’t want to talk to ya.” 

Connor says nothing as he gets up, and folds the couch up with Travis inside, protesting as the couch is put back in order, pillows are now muffling Travis’ protests and Connor looks at the camera and grins as he sits on the couch] in case you were wondering why it’s so quiet today :)

@chiron Katie and Connor, please release Travis from the couch

@tenacious_d consider this @chiron: it is an actually peaceful day

@chiron fair point, belay that request

@wisegirl [video attachment: Percy and Clarisse are sparing while Lady Gaga’s Bloody Mary plays] gods i love him

@da_lorax @moonbeam when you coming back to camp? You and I need to tease the love birlds

@moonbeam LAMO ANNIE! mooning over a man? couldn’t be me

@da_lorax [picture attachments; first picture: Percy and Annabeth are in a museum; Percy’s arm is around Annabeth’s shoulders while Annabeth’s arm is around his waist. Second picture: their faces are shown and they are crying. Third picture: a bronze statuette of a small girl holding a puppy. A sped up version of Mary on a Cross by Ghost is playing] they’re thinking about how they left Nope and Mrs. O’Leary home alone again…

@seaweedbrain I can’t help it if it reminds me of Stella and my dogs!

@wisegirl i want to hold my baby again!

@lordofthesea BABY???????!!!!!!!!!!!

@seaweedbrain THE DOGS DAD!

@pipes [video attachment: Annabeth is in on Olympus leading her cabin for the Solstice. She is wearing leggings, warm fuzzy socks sticking out of her boots, a blue flannel that is obviously Percy’s, and a puffy grey vest with an obvious bump around her abdomen, which she is supporting with both hands.

Poseidon comes up to her. 

“Hey Annabeth, daughter in all but law yet, how are you?” He says as he’s staring at the belly bump.

Aphrodite notices Annabeth and the bump and spits out her wine in Ares’ direction.

Athena is seen turning a furious shade of red.

“I’m good, thanks for asking.” Annabeth smiles.

Aphrodite is seen mouthing “oh my god” and her eyes are wide.

“And your health, you are… well?” Poseidon is trying to ask about the bump but not outright asking about the bump. 

“We both are.” Annabeth grins. 

“We?” Poseidon lights up.

“Percy would be here but Estelle wanted him to bake cookies with her. You should expect some as an offering sometime later.” 

“Ah,” Poseidon deflates as that’s not what he was referring too.

Aphrodite comes over, practically vibrating with excitement, and says, “I see you have grown into a beautiful woman” as she eyes the bump.

“You want to feel the bump don’t you.” Annabeth raises an eyebrow.

Aphrodite and Poseidon are practically bouncing on their heels while Apollo and Hermes have to restrain Athena. 

Annabeth unzips her vest to reveal a sleeping hellhound puppy.] @seaweedbrain you should have been here my dude lol

@seaweedbrain @pipes omg that is HILAERIOUS

@goddessofwisdom @seaweedbrain “hilarious” imbecile

@seaweedbrain @goddessofwisdom I have a reading disorder… ableist 

@princetriton must I remind you to hold your tongue Athena?

@rhodes_of_enlightenment wouldn’t a scholar such as yourself understand that typos are to be expected and shouldn’t you understand a learning disability as a “goddess of wisdom”?

@hurricainkym the fuck you call my little brother you psychopathic bird

@tenacious_d [video attachment: he is at the campfire when Apollo shows up with a dodgeball and aims it at Rachel. Before the ball can hit the Oracle, Percy leaps from where he was snuggled up with Annabeth and catches the ball as he flies horizontally in front of her as he yells unintelligibly and eats dirt, the dodgeball still in his arms. Rachel turns to Mr. D with a look to rival Jim from The Office]

@RED @lord_dodgeball just because i showed you that meme does not mean you get to hit me with dodgeballs

@lord_dodgeball sorry my dear and beloved oracle

@RED I already told Leto and Artemis

@lord_dodgeball I ALREADY SAID I WAS SORRY

@chiron [video attachment: shown is the canoe lake with most of the senior campers floating on pool noodles, floaties, or in Frank’s case: an otter. They are all pretending to be unconscious and the video moves to where Annabeth is laying on a lounge float asking Percy to wake up. He does not wake up and instead sinks below the surface as Annabeth starts to weep obnoxiously before the video shows Grover on the dock next to Chiron, playing Celine Dion on his pipes.]

@goddessofwisdom if only 🙄

@lordofthesea jokes on you, my son can’t drown

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@tenacious_d [Video attachment: Mr. D is wearing sunglasses, his leopard print shirt, and has a diet coke in his hand as he says, “so I have remembered that I am the god of theater… I have access to your children… children with ADHD… interesting.”]

@goddessofwisdom what does this mean?

@lordofthesea Dionysus??? What does this mean????

@lord_dodgeball Dio… i call your bluff

@seaweedbrain my mom said she doesn’t love me anymore so i’m packing my little rucksack to become a vagabond because i cannot live like this

@sallyblue I didn’t say that and you know that

@seaweedbrain @sallyblue you said we couldn’t bake blue cookies and that’s basically the same thing

@sallyblue @seasweedbrain It was 2am and you needed to sleep!

@seaweedbrain i’m moving in with dad

@lordoftheseas @seaweedbrain Perseus, you need your rest to become a big strong god like your brother and myself

@seaweedbrain i’m moving in with Chiron

@fatherofcocoapuffs [video attachment: Will is up by the campfire playing on a guitar. As he sings a campfire parody of I Plead The Fifth by Cooper Alan, his Texas twang comes out. “I plead the fifth, I did some shit when I was on a quest! I raised some hell, I used the Mist, wanted by FBI!”]  New campfire song

@seaweedbrain this is after the littles go to sleep lol

@lord_dodgeball THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL 🥹

@wisegirl [Video attachment: it is a compilation of different videos of Percy and Clarisse picking on each other, smacking the other upside the head, fighting across the ping pong counselor table, sparing, making the other eat dirt during capture the flag, all culminating to Clarisse dragging Percy by the hair and chucking him into the lake with Loathing from Wicked as the sound] in honor of wicked gracing the theaters, here are the two that this song was written about

@la_rue_the_day want to recreate the day we met prissy?

@seaweedbrain don’t threaten me with a good time

@pipes what happened

@kitkat Percy recreated the rescue of Andromeda from the sea monster

@wisegirl @pipes the girls bathroom was out of order for a month

@lord_dodgeball are we not going to talk about your mad editing skills?????? perfection

@sallyblue [picture attachments:

first picture; Percy is asleep on the couch with Estelle sleeping on his chest. His arms are wrapped around her protectively as they both drool.

The second picture; Annabeth is asleep curled in a chair. Estelle is curled up and tucked underneath Annabeth’s chin, drooling contentedly.

The third picture; Percy and Annabeth are curled up on his bed fully clothed. Annabeth is against the wall while Percy has his back towards the door. Both of them have some space between them.

The fourth picture; it was taken around the same time, but closer so you can see that Estelle is sleeping peacefully between them underneath a blanket that was homemade.] I can’t tell if they’re acting like teenagers for once and sleeping like they should or if they’re acting like they’re the ones who had the baby

@Hestia Awwww, Estelle likes the blanket! I’m so glad!

@amphitrite disappointing as it is that Perseus is not a father, Estelle is certainly a precious little one! 

@lord_dodgeball OMG SHES SO BEAUTIFUL!!! i would destroy the world for her if she asked. if you need a babysitter, my cabin at camp is always open

@princetriton Sally, have you made use of the trident I gave you? I found it very useful in keeping sun gods away from my sisters over the past thousand years

@tenacious_d [video attachment: there are demigods in the rec room in the Big House, most likely a cabin counselor meeting but Jason has a paper plate and cotton ball beard on that looks like it was made in arts and crafts, Percy somehow has swiped Poseidon’s “Neptune’s lucky fishing hat” and is wearing a Hawaiian shirt with Nope and Mrs. O’Leary’s faces all over it and is holding out a fork like it’s a symbol of power, Nico is the only one wearing what could be taken as a himation but really it’s just a Batman blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The sound is not the children speaking, but an audio clip from Studio C’s Greek God Assignments.

“I, Zeus, will be the god of the sky and thunder!” Jason lip syncs dramatically. 

The camera then zooms on Percy, who is giving his best flirting look towards the camera as he audio says, “Poseidon will be the god of the oceans.” 

The camera then zooms on Nico, who looks bored, as the audio says “And Hades will be god of the Underworld!”

Nico syncs saying “boooo” but he’s fighting with himself not to crack.

“I want earthquakes.” The camera shifts back to Percy who is now poking Annabeth’s cheek as she’s shaking with laughter.

“Instead of the ocean?” Jason looks confused.

“Oh no, no I still want the ocean. I just want to add earthquakes.” Percy looks like he’s doing everything he can to look serious.

“If Poseidon is going to start adding things, I want to add a spouse.” Nico raises his hand.

“That’s not really what we’re doing here man.” Jason lip synced.

“I will be the god of having a wife!” Nico synced dramatically while taking a comically large step towards where Will is cracking up in a beach chair.

“If you want to be married, go on some dates.” Jason mimes.

“Have you been to the Underworld? There’s a lot of sad people.” Nico mimed with a straight face

“You’ll have something in common.” Jason grimaced. 

“I’m not sad. I’m depressed.” At this, Nico started to break.

“How about a pet? Something to cheer you up? A dog maybe?” Jason pat’s Nico on the shoulder.

Will is currently red in the face trying not to laugh.

“How many heads does it have?” Nico looks like he’s contemplating getting a dog.

“One head.” Jason holds up one finger.

“Pffff!” Nico scoffs.

“Two heads?” Jason holds up another finger.

“Meh.” Nico shrugs. 

“Three heads?” Jason is slowly losing his composure.

“Now we’re talkin’.” Nico grins and his shoulders are shaking now.

“I don’t know why we’re talking but if that appeases you-” Jason’s face is now turning a shade of red as he tries to contain his composure.

“I want horses!” The camera now focuses on Percy, who has a small stuffed horse plushy, making the horse gallop on Annabeth’s head while she looks like she can’t breathe from laughing.

“Okayyyy…” Jason is slowly losing it.

“I want to be the god of all horses!” Percy holds up the mini horse plush like it’s Simba from the Lion King. 

Katie, who was sitting next to Annabeth during the meeting, has lost it and is red in the face from laughing.

“Just help me connect the dots!” Jason is now clutching Percy’s shoulders. Jason is shaking and his face is pinched as he’s trying not to laugh.

“There is no connection. I just like horses is all.” Percy manages to keep a straight face and that’s what breaks Jason who’s now clinging to Percy so he doesn’t fall to the floor while Percy looks at the camera with the smuggest grin.

“Can I be the god of all dogs?” Nico is now in the center of the camera. He is petting Will’s hair like Will is a cat and Nico a supervillain.

“NO! You get one freak dog!” Jason doesn’t even bother trying to act serious as he is spending most of his energy trying to stop laughing.

“Fine! Then as god of the underworld, I'm going to charge people to get there.” Nico says, a faint smile tugging his lips. 

Will looks like he’s about to crack a rib from holding in his laughter.

“It will cost them to die?!” Jason turns on Nico, he looks crazed as he’s trying to regain his composure, but he’s still holding on to Percy to remain upright; his glasses are askew.

“Everyone pays a coin!” Nico held out his arms.

“WHY?!” Jason, who was still being held up by Percy, turned to look at Nico.

“I don’t like poor people.” Nico shrugged.

“I also would like to sometimes be a horse.” Percy looked into the camera 

“I would like to sometimes be married.” Nico raised his hand.

At this point, the head counselors around the table have covered their mouths to contain their laughter or they are shaking with their heads in their hands. 

“FINE guys! Be a horse! Be married part time!” At this point, Jason gave up trying to be serious and was losing it. He pointed at Percy, who somehow managed to remain serious this entire time, at the horse part. He then pointed at Nico, who grinned. 

“I got a whole thing worked out with pomegranates.” Nico, at some point, either during the meeting or the video, had pulled out a pomegranate and was offering it to Will.] It was at this point, there was just no continuing the councilor’s meeting.

@chiron I was gone for one (1) meeting!

@tenacious_d that was your own fault for being gone for one (1) meeting

@ladyofdoves That’s pretty accurate

@amphitrite awwwww it’s a travel sized Poseidon

@Malculus [multiple video and picture attachments;

video number 1: it is dark, you can hear shuffling, quiet screaming and panicking. 

Next is a photo of a poorly lit selfie with the caption “spider in cabin 6, will burn down and rebuild tomorrow.” 

Next is a video, the camera is in selfie mode but you can hear the faint knocking on a cabin door. 

Video number 3 is well lit, showing the interior of Cabin 3 along with the children of Athena setting up in various bunks with the youngest pulling on Percy’s shirt. 

“Percy? Can I sleep with you so you can protect me from the spiders?” Melanie asked. 

“Sure munchkin. Only if you also promise to protect me from the dark.” Percy said, completely serious.

Melanie then handed Percy her blanket. 

“We can share the blankie! It helps with the dark.” Melanie said.

The last picture is a picture of Percy and Annabeth asleep in his bunk. Melanie fast asleep between them with Percy’s arm around her.]

Thank you Poseidon for letting us crash in your place and for not smiting us upon entry!

@lordoftheseas @malculus please be sure to thank that adorable little one for protecting my son from the dark. She deserves all the rewards. 

@goddessofwisdom why is Annabeth in your bed?????????

@seaweedbrain why was there a spider in your cabin?

@hazel_lawitch [multiple media attachments: the music playing over the attachments is Little Wolf from Epic the Musical, specifically where Athena and the Suitors are singing in tandem

Picture 1: Annabeth and Piper are sitting next to each other in the spectator stands, each with a nintendo switch in their hands

Video 1: a video showing Jason and Percy sparing in the arena

Picture 2: Hazel posting a selfie and flashing a peace sign as Jason is midair with a lightning bolt in his hands. 

Picture 3: Hazel posts a group photo with  Annabeth and Piper focused on their nintendo  switches behind Hazel, and Hazel smiling up at the camera.]

@lordoftheseas who won???

@sallyblue awwww Hazel, you and the girls look stunning!

@lightningmcking did my son win???

@pipes that was an excellent game annabeth

@wisegirl we should play again sometime

@tenacious_d [Video attachment: Mr. D is wearing sunglasses, a different leopard print shirt, and has a new diet coke in his hand as he says, “as much as I dislike watching high school productions of theater, the glee I get forcing parents to watch the high school productions of theater far outweighs the pain.”] i’m making your kids do theater because if i have to suffer, then you all are suffering with me

@chiron the head counselors chose to do Anastasia after a vote that ended in a fist fight, three black eyes, and getting tossed in the canoe lake. It will be on the last weekend of summer and parents are encouraged to attend.

@tenacious_d you are not being encouraged, you are being told. You will be here or I will make everyone sober for the rest of my punishment

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