Work Text:
“Q…”
“Yes, Jean-Luc.”
“Why are we both in here?”
“We are hiding.”
The space in the little storage room on the enemy ship had already been small when Picard had been in here on his own. Now he was pretty much pressed from head to toe against Q who had suddenly without any explanation appeared in the room as well.
“Yes. I know why I’m in here. Why are you hiding?”
And then he realised that Q was not the usual Starfleet captain’s uniform. “And what are you wearing?!”
Q grinned at him. “I was researching famous Starfleet captains and came upon this delightful little ship a century ago and oh Jean-Luc, the uniforms some of these people were wearing!”
Picard let out a heavy sight. “That used to be a standard Starfleet uniform for women.”
Q looked down to his outfit and spun around once, his thighs brushing against Picard’s groin. “It seems a bit impractical. The skirt is very short.”
Picard was contemplating if going outside was worth the risk. He really didn’t want to think about how short the skirt was when outside some unknown lifeforms were looking to eliminate him. “Q, please, why are you here? I’m on a mission.”
“You have been uncharacteristically bored the last few weeks, so I thought you could use some excitement.”
“I’m trying to get away from unknown aliens who are trying to kill me. The last thing I need is excitement.”
Q rolled his eyes and pulled Picard towards him. “You can be so uptight, Jean-Luc. You need to let loose. Do you want to switch outfits? It might help you to feel…liberated.” Q’s smile was all teeth and his eyes mischievously wandered down Picard’s body.
“Don’t you dare-!”
The door to the storage room opened. One of the aliens with a wide, muscular body, tiny greenish eyes and tentacles instead of a mouth looked at them.
Q pulled Picard even closer while Picard tried to get some space to fight if necessary. Q watched the tentacles move as they suddenly screeched. He grinned at Picard again. “Kinky.”
Picard saw white. The alien and their surroundings disappeared. Or rather, it was Picard who disappeared.
Then he reappeared on his bridge.
Everyone obviously had been trying to help him. They had been in the middle of shouting orders, running around, gathering data. Now they were staring at him. There was no immediate reaction of joy but just confusion and shock.
Picard wondered if it had been surprisingly warm on the other ship because on the bridge it seemed quite cold now.
He looked down. With slowly blinking eyes, he stared at his own naked legs and the tiny out of style dress he was wearing.
“Q!”