Work Text:
“That is all I have to say for today. I might come back to you once I have more information on the attack on D'Qar. In the meantime, try not to get caught if you wish to inspect Hosnia. Trust me when I say they would kill you on the spot. It would compromise my plans.”
“I will do my research as discreetly as possible, sir, but do you have more information on that weapon? Anything that would indicate me where to start?”
He heard a sigh and the line hang up. He hoped he was doing the best thing. Hell, it was his duty to alert the people of such an imminent danger, wasn't it ?
-
He smashed his fist into the glass reunion table, shattering it, uncaring for the shards that stuck in his knuckles. Rage was shutting out pain, as it always did. “It's all in the news. Someone accused us of the destruction of the Hosnia conglomerates. If the media finds out about the weapon, it will be the last of us.”
He smashed his fist back in. This time he did feel the pain.
“You!” He barked at an inconspicuous officer waiting at the door. “Find him. Her. Find it. I don't care what it takes or who you have to kill, I will not –“he paused, clutching his hand to watch the blood stream through his fingers, “The last thing this company needs right now is a public exposure. It would ruin everything I've worked for in the past 15 years. So,” he leaned in closer of the other man's terrified face, accentuating every word, “you will go now and bring me the mole's head. Have I made myself clear?”
The man gulped and gazed at where he thought Ren's eyes were and said “Yes sir” before leaving this room as fast as he could while still walking.
“You really have an effect on your employees.” The man standing at the other end of the table as if nothing happened gave him a tissue. “I believe that mask was a good idea of mine.”
“The oxygen helmet,” Ren corrected while cleaning up his hand and nonchalantly picking up bloody shards, “is only a cover for people not to recognize me and trace me to my lineage under bantha medical justifications. It was the perfect decoy for the creation of the Starseeker company against chemical weapons with me as a presumed former victim at its head. I am well able to seat my authority without such accessory.”
“Of course, the older man said, clearly not having it, “Still it gives us a remarkable advantage. You know this,” he gestured towards the door, seeming to struggle with the man's name before deciding against trying to remember it, which was fine by Ren because he didn't know it either, nor did he care about it, “You know as well as I that he won't find the mole. Whoever it is, he's clever enough to pass through the webs any hierachic superior would put on its path. What he needs is some... amiable conversation.”
Whatever Snoke was talking about, Ren had no idea. “Please explain yourself. I don't think you'd seriously expect me to invite all my employees over a cup of tea to beg them for any information they could or could not have knowledge of.”
“I don't,” Snoke scoffed. The idea of Ren attempting to drink tea through his helmet would have made him laugh, did he ever laugh. Instead, he took a seat and prepared himself to a long debate. “I'm thinking of an infiltration.”
_
Ren was fuming. Had this idea not come from the man he considered his father, he would have fired him on the spot. However, after he asked Snoke if that was his twisted idea of a joke -he could not remember any single occasion Snoke did ever joke, after all- he'd found himself at a loss for words. He had so much esteem for the man that the contrast between his intelligence and such a seemingly stupid idea made him momentarily doubt his own sanity in following that man. He put himself together though, ashamed of his own doubts regarding the man who had sacrificed so much to put him to the top, and thought maybe he was not clever enough to understand that sometimes, the simplest ideas were the best. Who would ever think to suspect a simple technician? He had to admit, the more he thought about it, the more believable it was starting to become.
Still, he didn't like it. Not one bit.
-
Tired. Hungry. And, she wiped the back of her hand across her sweat-covered forehead, hot. Those were the most adapted words if she were to describe her life for the past years.
Oh.
Lonely, as well. She fought back tears as she wiped her hands on her jeans and made her way back to the shop as the sun was setting. Lonely was definitely the most relevant one.
The door chimed when she passed it. The boutique smelled like motors, tires and... farts... A tell-tale sign that this pig of Uncle Plutt was here. And sure enough, she found him in his couch.
“Ah! Here you are! Lemme see whatcha got today.”
Sighing, she handed him the spare money the clients had given her for repairing their cars or filling their fuel tanks.
“That all? You lucky I feed you, kid. If I ever find out you've been skimming from me, trust I will kick your sorry ass out in the streets.”
Anger got the best of her. Before she could control it, she spat “Yeah, maybe you'd earn more if your shit-smelling garage didn't hold the reputation of being owned by a worthless drunk, so do not blame this on me!”
For all her patience and meticulosity, Rey found herself absolutely unable to keep calm around this joke of a man, which he seemed to find wicked amusement in.
Without seeming to take any offense, and with a glint of pride, he told her, “You lucky I keep you alive, kid. Don't bite the hand that feeds ya. There's food on the counter for you. Don't go near the fridge or I'll know and I won't let you eat for days.”
Rolling her eyes as an answer, she turned her heels on him, grabbed the half-eaten sandwich on the counter, and exited to the corrugated iron cabin at the back of the shop. She didn't live with him in the shop, God forbid, and for as much of a shack it was, with no electricity or running water, it was home. She had decorated it with drawings she had made a long time ago. She lighted a candle, it was starting to be night already. Winter didn't really exist here in the middle of the desert, thankfully so. She hadn't planned on dying of cold in this shack. No matter how stark her existence was, it was only temporary. Even if it had been temporary for far longer than she had thought and expected.
As she gulped down the sandwich, the candle light shone a glimpse of a tear. She didn't care to shed a tear or two when she was alone as long as Plutt was not there to witness it. As much as she wanted him dead, she had no choice but to stay here. Without any paper or legal existence, there was absolutely no chance they would find her anywhere else if they came back. When they came back. In the meantime, Plutt found her a job in this military facility, where she repaired everything from tanks to medical instruments and even got to pilot minor devices at times, which was definitely her favorite part of it, collecting all her pay ; and of course he had her work for free in his garage after her work day, using her innate talents for anything mechanic-related. In exchange, he covered her from the cops. She had made quite a reputation for herself, of which he was proud and more than willing to make money off, not fearing to see her go anywhere she would be treated better as he knew why she stayed with him against all odds. As for her, she knew he would never execute his threat to kick her off, she was far too valuable for him. Their relationship was fucked up, but they needed each other.
Having wolfed down the sandwich in a few bites, used to the feeling of remaining hunger, she blew off the candle and crept into her bed.
_
This is stupid. This is plain fucking stupid. He slammed his fist on the dashboard, hard enough to poke a dent and an ominous wheezing sound that but added to his impending, slowing down wheeled problem. It was not that he wasn't used to drive, it was just that he usually drove a better car, which he could not afford to if he wanted to keep his cover. And this garbage of a banger decided to fuck him off right on his “first day” of work. How fucking stupid.
He knew there was a grungy garage near because he knew the town, but heavens forbid he ever put a foot on this shack. Now it seemed like he had no choice. So much for starters, he thought. But if he had to humble himself, at least he didn't have to show his face. All this would be humiliating already soon enough. He donned his helmet and left his new work jacket on the passenger seat.
“Hmm. That a wrecked set of wheels you have. I might not be able to help you,” the slug-looking, half-awaken patron told him over his opened hood.
Having some extensive experience of motors himself that traced back to his childhood, he knew he was being fooled. And he didn't like it one bit. “Listen, you pathetic excuse of a mech, do not even think about scamming me. I only need a replacement alternator, and I don't happen to have one with me at all times. So you will have this fixed right here and right now, and”, he flashed a stack of bills in the inside pocket of his black jacket, noting he had managed to capture the man's attention at once, “I will pay you enough.”
“I'm sorry sir, I just remembered we still have one specimen in stock. Times are hard, you know?” Noting he didn't answer, and unable to read his expression under the helmet, the man shifted uncomfortably, turned around and yelled loud enough to make his ears ring, “REY! COME HERE, GOT SOME WORK FOR YA!”
Soon entered a girl unlike any he had seen before. He realized then he hadn't had looked at many girls in his life. But this one, she managed to be so petite, so thin, a little scrap of nothing, yet aside from the giantess Phasma he had rarely seen someone looking so fierce and dangerous. She was dressed in but rags, but she looked gracious. She was calm, but her eyes held storms- wait. What the hell am I thinking.
Coming back to his senses, he realized the girl was eyeing him defiantly while the man he learned was named Plutt was telling her to go grab the spare alternator in the storehouse, patting her on the shoulder as he went back inside.
Wordlessly, the girl abided, and when she had retrieved the piece, she started to work on his engine. He had to say, he had watched his father under an engine for many days in his childhood, hell it was probably their most bonding activity of all, and she was doing really fine. She was manipulating the motor as if she had done this her entire life. He realized she looked tense and figured it was because he was silently analyzing her, so he decided to talk. “I,” maybe you should have thought of a thing to say before starting, “Actually you should put that piece in befor-”
“Listen,” she interrupted with an accent that sounded out of place, glaring at where she thought his eyes would be, “I don't need your help. You're distracting me, actually it's really disturbing to work under the surveillance of a masked creature. I have other things to attend to and I'm already running late. It will be done faster without you lurking around so please,” she breathed in and out through her nose, “get some fresh air and come back in 5 minutes, tops.”
He stormed off, raging. So much for trying to be nice. He hated this day. He had to say though, this was the first time in a very long time someone had talked to him with that tone. He wouldn't admit it but he was impressed. He kept thinking about her glare and those two stormy eyes until he was told he was free to go by an anticipating Plutt, already holding out his hands for the money.
_
*bang*
Oh no, that was a stupid idea. What am I going to do with a warped-
“YOU! NEW GUY!” Oh, shit. He gulped. “You think wrenches grow on trees? Not one hour in and you're already damaging hardware. Be glad you were recommanded, 'cause if it was only me you'd be going back home already. Now you”, she put one spare wrench from her jacket as if she collected them and put it firmly in his hand, “take this, and get back to work. I won't warn you twice.”
He was mortified. Everyone was looking at him. He hadn't known such humiliation for years, back when he was at that stupid academy. Besides, it wasn't his fault they gave him such poor quality wrench. He didn't even know those things could bend. What were they made of, plastic ? He just had a strong grip, is all. Who do they all think he was? He tried to raise his head, to pretend he was higher than this, and met everyone's eyes to make them look elsewhere. Until he saw two familiar eyes staring back disdainfully at him and he lost all composture. He ducked his head and went back to work. Luckily for him, they were soon dispatched throughout the base.
Two hours went excruciantingly slowly by were he roamed around the base while trying to avoid the girl, convinced she had recognized him but irrationally even more fearing she would judge him. Luckily, the Starseeker base was big enough not to randomnly run into, oh shit there she is.
Panicked, he stormed and hid in a storage unit nearby, ashamed of his own actions and considering very intensely his life choices, waiting for her to get by. Then of course, of fucking course, it hit her that she was maybe heading to the unit to pick up a tool and he turned around, crouched and feinted interest in a particular wrench just in time for her to barge in and pause at the sight of him in that stupid orange jacket, which she also donned but fitted her a lot more, weighting a wrench as if he was picking up vegetables at the market. Seconds passed by, he did not dare to speak so as not to betray his panick, or his identity. He was sweating.
She moved. “I think you need this one instead.”
“... Thanks.” he croaked.
He rose up, not wanting to spend another second with her, grabbed said wrench and went back to the common room, were his superior was reassigning people to work on duos. His panic raised. Not only did he had to put up with this shit for half the morning to no further indication of the mole for the moment, but now he had to support another person as well. The girl came back from the supply room just in time for the superior to adress her.
“Ah, Rey, you're with uh...” she leaned to read his name tag, “Matt. They need help in the radar room with a broken carcinator. I trust you will be able to teach him a thing or two about radars since you did so well the other time.”
His ears turned red. He didn't have to see her to notice her frustrated expression. She didn't like him. She sighed and gestured for him to follow her, then she departed, taking long and angry strides, and he heard her grumbling under her breath about “useless” and “waste of time”, and if possible, his ears turned a brighter shade of red.
She was as comfortable in an ocean of wires and electrical hazard as she was earlier in the morning in the engine of his car. As for him, he had seen his father rewire his trash of a van enough times for it to be more custom than not, but doing it himself was another thing entirely. Besides, he was usually destroying machines lately, not fixing them. He gained some respect for the people who had to deal with it everyday. Rewiring that carcinator should be in his ability though, as he quickly analyzed it and recognized itsoperating, starting to fiddle with it with gestures tracing back to a long time ago.
He noticed the girl watching him.
“I thought I would have to teach you everything from the beginning, but it seems you already got your marks. Where did you learn to do this? That's not what they teach you in school.”
“I, uh, grew up with my father in a van. He used to smuggle a lot of things across the country and he did all the repairing on the van. He would have never left it to a garage, he was too prideful and afraid they would hurt his baby. He did a lot of modifications on it too, so I picked it up from him. We had a huge st Bernard called Chewie, he got me out of trouble more times than I can count. You're really gifted, where did you learn it?”
When he stopped talking, he realized he had been blabbering for far longer than usual, about his father on top of it. But the girl didn't appear annoyed ; if anything she seemed thoughtful.
“'Been practicing since I was a kid. Can I ask you something? Have I seen you before? I have the feeling I know you.”
Shit. Shitshitshit. He clamped the edge of the carcinator. She saw me with the mask this morning. She heard me. If she speaks, the whole base will know who I am and my cover will be busted. He felt the plastic twisting under his strong fist. To make things worse, he saw, entering the room and beneath a unmistakable ginger neat haircut, the last face he'd currently wanted to see.
He crouched and turned back inside the machine, wanting to disappear from Hux' sight, and tried to keep himself busy while the general gave commands to the officer sitting at his desk in the back of the room. He knew Hux had never seen him without his mask, but he felt naked, vulnerable all the same. Then, as he didn't hear exiting footsteps he knew, could almost feel the bastard eyeing the girl, judging if he liked what he saw, and for a reason he quite couldn't explain, the thought infuriated him.
Sure enough, Hux approached them and asked the girl -what was her name, again? He realized he did not know- if she needed any help with the carcinator. What a stupid way to break the ice. She answered politely but coldly, which wasn't enough of a clue for stupid Hux who insisted on hitting on her for an awkwardly long time. Ren risked a peek and nearly turned red from rage. That idiot was leaning on the wall with one arm, cornering the girl who appeared ready to claw at his face.
He poked his head out of the machine, looking her dead in the eye. “Hey, could you hand me the Harris wrench?” She took the hint and crept away from Hux to grab the thing.
As she bent to pass it over to Ren, he saw Hux move from the corner of his eye. WHAT THE FUCK?! And just as the girl slapped Hux in the face, he lost control of his hands and ripped the carcinator wires apart, which was not the smartest move in an electronic machine as sparks flew all around his head in a loud buzz and he got electrocuted. It hurt like hell, but it got the attention of Hux from his own humiliation. Then he put his hand on his face, remembering it by the stinging, and Ren hastily talked before he could do anything, trying to modify his voice in the doing.
“I'm sorry sir,” the words cost him less than he expected. “I will be more careful next time.”
Hux was clearly fuming, to Ren's delight. He spun on his heels and when he was gone, the girl rushed to his side, with a glint of worry on her face he couldn't help but think he would gladly get used to.
“Are... Are you okay, Matt? Thanks for covering me. Nobody has ever done that for me before.” She was blushing. He liked the sight of it.
“Oh. Fine. I'm fine. And it's okay. Does he often grope you? Do you know who he is? Don't you have any sense of survival?”
She scoffed. “No, he lurks around every occasion he gets but it was the first time actually. I should have been able to restrain myself but this prick has been bothering me every time I came to work here. I'm lucky you were there, I don't know what he was about to do but I don't think I want to.” She was smiling, and he couldn't help but feel the corners of his mouth twitch because of that view.
The momentum broke at the exact moment a loud and familiar voice roared “NEW GUY! I just came across General Hux and he said you electrocuted him?! Do you have any-”, she paused, seeing the damage he had inflicted on the carcinator. “WHAT ON HELL'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOU'RE FIRED! I don't care who vouched for you, I don't want you anywhere near my machines, you have 5 minutes to pack your things and go.”
To his surprise, the girl came to his help. “No, please ma'm, actually it was me who hurt Mr Hux.”
“Oh Rey, sweetheart, it's very nice of you to defend him, but do you really expect me to believe you? And I suppose you wrecked that carcinator as well?” Seeing she was fiddling with her hands and unable to answer, she went on. “That's what I thought. New guy, you have 4 minutes left. Don't make me lose any more time.”
He abided. What else was he to do, anyway? This mission was a complete failure. He departed without looking back, and looked at his watch. 3 hours and 21 minutes. That's how long it took him to fuck things up. Now he had made a complete fool of himself and he failed at gathering information on the mole. Yeah, great. He took off his stupid orange jacket, hung it back and left the locker room. The girl -Rey, apparently- was waiting for him at the door.
“Hey, I'm-”
“You shouldn't be here. You're going to get fired as well.”
“No, it's fine. I asked for my morning break. And actually, I wanted to apologize. It's my fault you got in this situation.”
“... Well, you have now.” Doesn't she see I want to brood alone?
“... And besides," she added shyly, "I'd rather spend my break with you than in the common room with everyone else.”
That he had absolutely nothing to say to. He felt his ears blush as he looked away. How long ago was it that someone actually wanted to be in his company? Moments passed by. She was shifting on her feet, maybe regretting the common room and everyone there.
“So, uh,” he tried. “Do you like it, working here?” Yeah, talk about Hux breaking the ice. What a shitty question.
“I do. Well, there's this idiot general, but everyone else lets me do my job and it's paid good enough. Although if that rumor about the company's involvment on the destruction of Hosnia is true, it's deeply unsettling. I respected the conglomerate, trying to build a new Republic. That's no way of treating politician adversaries, and even less innocent citizens.”
She means the very massacre you undirectly played a part of. “Yeah, that is horrible. But," he shrugged, "you know the media, always making up rumors to get people to buy their stuff.”
“No, I think it's more than a rumor. I heard Hux talking about it the other day while I was repairing a transmittor in the conference room. The door was ajar. He was talking to someone who seemed important given how reverently that rude fucker was behaving toward him, and they were talking about taking down D'Qar and I did not pay attention because I really don't want to mess with anyone's business but-”
“You. Heard. What?”
“Don't you know of D'Qar? The resistance base?”
“I do know about it.” Especially since my mother runs it.
“Well, at first I didn't think much about it because it could have been just a metaphor, but they were talking about how the media coverage would give them a better look to the world. They could have been talking about the company's politics, but after today's news, I'm starting to give it another thought.”
“Wait. Please wait.” He put his hands through his hair and pulled it, mind racing. He must have been talking to Snoke. And they were discussing about destroying D'Qar next, probably with their new chemical weapon, something of which he was unaware. Maybe because they knew he would be reluctant to do it. Were they ever planning on letting him know before erasing the inhabitants from the face of Earth? Knowing them both, he knew that was only wishful thinking. And another thing... The media coverage was never in their plans, ever. It was the exact opposite of their goal, the reason why he was here today in the first place. Which meant...
“Holy. Fuck.” He started to pace maniacally. What can I do? What will I do? Emotions were flowing through him like a whirldwind, a set of rage, relief and excitement. He had been betrayed. By the very man he respected the most on Earth, for whom he gave up his family and sacrificed 15 years of his life for the promise of a world more just and fair. What surprised him most though was that for once, the overwhelming rage gave away to other emotions. And so, in this state of panic, he did the stupidest thing he had ever done, closed the distance between him and the girl, and kissed her.
She jostled and angrily pushed him back, “What the hell?!”
Reality came crashing him and he felt like a total idiot. “Oh. Oh. I'm so sorry, I don't know what drew me. Fuck. You don't know how precious you are to me right now. I shouldn't have done that. I... I gotta go. You're Rey, right?”
She was much colder than before, and wiped her lips. “I am.”
“Rey.” He repeated the word over. “Rey.” It was such a beautiful name. “Thank you so much, Rey. I will see you in a while.” He litteraly ran away, part in shame for acting as a complete boor, part in expectation of what was about to come.
_
He instantly felt more powerful the moment he donned the helmet, but it also felt strange, as if he missed the brush of fresh air on his face. As if he was wearing someone else's face. He set in front on the window to admire the sun lowering in the sky, and waited 'til he heard a knock on the door and invited the incomer in.
“You wanted to see me, Kylo? I though you were away from town for a week or two.”
“I happened to have encountered some complications. You see...” he turned from the window, facing Hux. “I have heard some really interesting rumors. So, naturally, not wanting to rely on unreliable sources to know the truth, I looked into your desk. I hope you will forgive me for this mandatory intrusion of your space. You should really improve your hiding skills, by the way. I can tell you it was worth it, though, because...” he laid out a file on the desk, which was still half-shattered, shards having been removed. He sax Hux gulp, and smirked. “I found out about your interesting exchanges with detective Finn, from The Daily Storm. Now, while it's good of you to maintain relations with former employees, I don't think divulging top secret plans was your best idea.”
“I-”
“You will speak when I have finished talking. No, your worst idea was your plan to, quote 'eradicate D'Qar' and working with Snoke to frame me during my absence, using the weapon and my familial link with the Resistance as a claim. I was no longer profitable to Snoke, so he asked you to take my place. You only needed me away for a few days. As the head of this industry, I would have taken the blame, and you, being on the military and taking advantage from the instability caused by the loss of both the Republic and the Resistance, would have made a Coup with Snoke and created a new government. Brilliant. It all was an inch from happening. Unfortunately...” He was now very close to him. “I have made a few calls. My mother was very thrilled to hear from me, although the news I was bearing cut short to the moving family reunion. We soon have come to an agreement. The Resistance gains access to the weapon's plans and the Order information, in exchange for my freedom, which the moving story detective Finn is currently writing thanks to this file will only contribute to achieve. Can you believe it, the prodigal son all again? Oh, and don't even think of trying to accuse me. All evidence has been destroyed. You now have my permission to speak.”
Hux was trembling, lips quavering with rage. “You will regret this.”
“Not as much as you will, I guess. Oh, I'm afraid I won't have time to attend myself, but could you pass this on to Snoke?” He punched him hard. The general was no frail man but he almost spun in his boots. “Now, if you allow me, my work here is done.”
He stormed off his office – former office. It was so unsettling, the feeling of leaving behind such an important part of his life. If everything went according to plan, he should be well. His mother agreed to cover for him. The rest of his life was ahead of him, and for the first time he felt he was the one pushing it. He always thought he would crumble to death without Snoke around, but now he felt free. And if that was only a temporary illusion, he would make the most of it. He needed to head to D'Qar to discuss of a plan with the Resistance, but first he still had someone he needed to see.
His visit to Hux's office had been fruitful. While looking in his files, he had found an interesting one. The general collected information on the Resistance, which he kept from him – and on the former academy led by his uncle, which he once attended. There was a group picture, he remembered that day. He was on the picture, one of the oldest students at the time, but his eyes had been immediately drawn to another pair of eyes and a familiar warm smile belonging to a toddler sitting in the front range. It had all dawned on him them. The academy, the little girl. Rey Kenobi. The exile the First Order, and himself, pushed her parents to. He remembered a long time ago, the Resistance and her uncle desperately looking for a girl when her parents died. No wonder she felt she had seen him before. How could he have forgotten?
And there she was, in front of his eyes after more than 15 years. Her workday was nearing the end, but he didn't care to interrupt.
“Rey. I would like to speak to you.”
She looked at him warily, and he realized he had kept his helmet on. The one he wouldn't need anymore. He figured she would be more comfortable without it on, so he pushed the latches on its side and pulled it off. “There is someone you need to meet. Someone who can tell you about your family.”
_
He had never personnally come to D'Qar, but the Resistance was exactly how he remembered it. He had spent long hours discussing of the best course of action to counter the Order's plans. He had purposely avoided his mother – that and his personal fate could wait a little longer. This day has been strange enough already. For now, they had agreed he would make a press statement the following day, revealing how he was manipulated by the First Order and how he found out his Starseeker pharmaceutical research facility had been used unbeknown to him for the very thing it had been created to overcome: chemical weapons.
By 4am, he was allowed some rest. Tomorrow would be a big day for him. As he exited the conference room, he found Rey sleeping on a chair, curved in a ball on a man's shoulder, one man he had not seen since he was a little boy, who was known under the name Qui-Jon Kenobi. He met his gaze, and whispered, “She's been waiting for you. She refused to go to sleep without talking to you first. I admit I didn't think it would take you so long, though.”
Ren smiled fondly. “Did she?”
Qui-Jon smiled, stroking her hair, a glimpse of fondness in his eyes. "I have not seen her for 15 years. Last time I saw her, she was a toddler, and her parents were alive and well." His smile disappeared and this time it was tears that were flickering in his eyes. "I knew they took her to safety somewhere, but they didn't tell me where. They had not planned on the massive eradication of the rebels that followed." Of which I played an important part, he thought. Silence fell upon them. Ren let the other man mourn, unable to say a thing had he wanted to. His life had been a lie for the past 15 years, a lie that cost so many lives he did not feel like he had the right to live. Yet, here he was, at the Resistance HQ and not in a jail, or with a knife through his throat. These people had agreed to decide on his fate later, once he would have made whatever he could to put his acts right and put an end to the First Order. He did not know what would happen of him afterwards, but the crushing weight of the deaths he had a responsibility for had him absolutely not caring about his own death. In fact, he was so grateful for these people to have accepted him, even though that had not been with open arms, he recalled with a sad smile. For the first time, he was thankful to be alive.
Rey stirred slowly, woken by Qui-Jon's hands waving through her hair. “Where... Oh. Matt!” She covered her mouth and Qui-Jon looked at him, raising his eyebrows. He could tell she was unable to recall his real name, which would have made him laugh was he not currently wishing for death. “I've been waiting for you. I wanted to thank you personally for taking me here.” By the look in her eyes, he could tell that she knew. He wanted to disappear. She knew and yet she wanted to thank him. Had waited for him. His vision became blurred.
Qui-Jon picked on it, stood up and said “I believe you have things to discuss... Matt. I bid you both good night. Rey, I will see you tomorrow. There are still a lot of people you have to meet here.”
Watching Qui-Jon stride away and realizing he needed to speak, he said “May I walk you back to your room? If... If you want my company, that is. There is so much I have to say, if you wish to listen to it of course.” He paused, and to his surprise she agreed. They started walking. “ Allright, so. First... As you know, my name is not Matt.”
-
They had been talking in the hallway to her guest room until someone opened their door to shush them and they went inside. Now the sun was starting to rise and he was worn out. She was too, by the look of her undereye bags, but she kept smiling and that smile could have kept him awake for hours on. He did not understand, would never understand, why she would choose to spend time with him, that monster, instead of sleeping. He smiled, and she laughed to herself, and said, “OK, but there's something I haven't asked. Why Matt? It's such an ugly name.”
Days later, he could still not explain what pushed him to say that. He would blame it on the exhaustion and the overall madness that had been that day, but knew there was more to that. The partial truth is that it was maybe a very awkward attempt of his own at flirting. In any case, he would blush for weeks when he thought back of his answer.
“Oh, you know the saying... Matt in the streets, Kylo Ren in the sheets.”