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Harry was bored. He lay on his back on his bed, twirling his wand between his fingers absently. His homework was finished—a week in advance, no less—and he’d just about reached his limit on reading for the sake of reading.
The rain pounding against the windows of the castle had put him off taking a trip to the Quidditch Pitch, so flying was a no-go, and his friends were all busy trying to work their way through the word loads.
Since the battle of Hogwarts, and more importantly, since the removal of the Horcrux that had resided in Harry’s scar, he hadn’t had any trouble with his school work at all.
Spells came easy to him, and the theory behind them was understood on the first explanation. Even potions made more sense to him.
Coming back to sit the seventh year that he’d missed had meant to give him time to transition to being ‘normal.’ He was beginning to regret that he’d even bothered.
The single room he’d been allocated—in a corridor full of them, given to the students that had been labelled as ‘eighth years’—was comfortable, but even having his own room had gotten old quickly.
It was lonely, spending so much time by himself.
Harry was so used to being surrounded by people, even when he was sleeping, that having his own space was an adjustment that he was still getting used to.
A knock on his door startled him from his thoughts, and he dropped his wand onto his chest. Rolling his eyes at himself, he got up and opened the door to find Ron and Hermione standing there.
“Are you ready to go to lunch, Harry?”
He nodded, and shoved his feet into the trainers that sat neatly by the door. Closing his door, he took a moment to quickly ward it, before he followed them down to the Great Hall. He listened to their chatter as they discussed the latest essay they’d been set for Defence.
Harry hadn’t told his friends about the new ease he felt when learning. He didn’t want them to feel bad, or jealous. He and Ron had always bonded over their struggles with homework, and Hermione had always taken pride in being the smartest one of them, and of being the first to get things in class.
It wasn’t that he truly thought they would abandon him, or anything, but there was a tiny niggle in the back of his mind that just wouldn’t allow him to talk to them about it.
They sat down at the end of the separate table that had been added to the hall for them, perpendicular to the head table. Harry was quickly pulled into a conversation with Theo Nott, the Slytherin with whom he’d found he shared quite a lot in common with.
“Mr Potter? May I have a quick word?”
Harry looked up to find Professor McGonagall behind him, a severe look on her face. He nodded, frowning slightly, and stood from the table to follow her from the hall. He wondered what he could have possibly done wrong. So far this year, nothing even remotely exciting had happened, and he’d kept himself out of trouble.
When they were both seated in her office, McGonagall leant forwards slightly on her desk.
“I’ve noticed, Mr Potter, that you’ve improved rather significantly in my classes, in both your practical application, and your understanding of the theory. Your other professors have reported similar situations in their own classes. Would you care to explain?”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Professor,” Harry admitted, shrugging his shoulders lightly. “Everything just seems so easy now. Since… well, you know, what happened in the forest… maybe it was blocking something? I’m not sure.”
She nodded, thoughtfully. “Well, since you are sailing along so easily, I thought that it might be prudent to give you a project to stem any boredom you might be feeling. A bored Harry potter would be a dangerous thing for everyone, I fear.”
Harry laughed at the smirk on her face. “What project, Professor?”
“I rather thought that you might enjoy the challenge of becoming an animagus. It takes a lot of work, and a lot of focus, but with the way that you have been performing the N.E.W.T level material in my class, I believe that you’ll be able to do it within a reasonable time frame.”
A smile lifting his lips, he nodded his head enthusiastically. “That’d be brilliant, Professor, thank you.”
She nodded, and then opened a draw in her desk and hefted out two large books, placing them on the desk between them. “Reading comes first, Mr Potter. Familiarise yourself with these two books, and come and see me when you’re sure that you understand them. And, be warned, if your grades begin to suffer in any of your classes while you’re doing this, I shall be very disappointed with you. Understood?”
“Understood,” Harry agreed. “Thank you, Professor, really.”
She smiled at him as he picked the books up and left the office. He headed straight up to his room to put them on his desk. He knew that he’d have to spend some time with Ron and Hermione during the afternoon, but the promise of something new to sink his teeth into was enough to keep him in a chipper mood while he listened to Ron complain about the Potions essay Slughorn had given them.
…
He tilted his head as he looked at himself in the mirror, taking in the black fur and the twitching ears. A tail flicked behind him, probably showing his curiosity as he padded around the room in a circle.
“Congratulations, Mr Potter. Very well done,” McGonagall complimented, from her place across the room. “To transform back into human form, simply reverse the process that led to the initial change. In time, you’ll get used to changing between the two, and will be able to do it instinctively.”
Harry concentrated on his human-self, and with a small pop, he was back in his human form, crouched down on hands and knees. He pushed himself to his feet, and ran a hand through his hair.
“That was awesome, ” he murmured, offering his professor a bright smile.
She nodded, returning his smile with a more reserved one of her own. “I admit that I’m rather impressed with your commitment, Mr Potter. Six months is a very short time to have learnt such intricate magic. And now,” she brandished a form at him, “to register yourself.”
Harry grumbled good naturedly, but filled out the form quickly, signing his name with a flourish at the bottom.
“I’m slightly surprised that you’re a feline form,” McGonagall commented, as she accepted the form from him. “Although, it is indeed a magnificent feline. The panther, otherwise known as a black jaguar, or a black leopard, has very good senses, and is sneaky and intelligent. It’s a beautiful animal.”
Harry smiled, and then tilted his head slightly. “So… now that I can do it, will I be allowed to practise out on the grounds, in the evenings? I’ll stay out of sight as much as I can.”
She nodded slowly, thoughtfully. “Yes, as long as you make sure to not interact with any of the students, and you stay out of the forest. I can’t see a problem with it.”
Surprising both of them, Harry stepped closer and hugged her tightly. “Thank you, Professor. I… just… thank you.”
She patted his back. “Of course, Mr Potter. And thank you for allowing me the pleasure of teaching someone who was so eager to learn. It was both a joy and a privilege.”
Harry smiled as he left the room. He had dinner to contend with, and then he’d be out on the grounds, exploring parts of the grounds he had yet to investigate, and, more importantly, learning the new aspect of himself.
…
Roaming the grounds at night became Harry’s favourite daily activity. When his homework was done, he'd spent some time with his friends, and then he’d transform into his animal form and run free across the grounds.
It was even better than the freedom he’d found in flying.
The only drawback was one that he felt constantly, no matter his form. Loneliness still plagued him.
One night, as he’d been planning to go back inside, Harry ran towards the castle as fast he could. He didn’t realise that he wasn’t alone until he was tackled, rolling over and over with another body, until they landed, sprawling to a stop.
Harry crouched, looking at the invader through narrowed eyes, his figure barely moving even as he breathed, watching for the next move. In front of him, a slightly larger panther than his own form watched him right back, his dark eyes bright, and his tail twitching in curiosity.
When the larger panther crept closer, slowly edging forwards, Harry tensed himself. He presumed this was another animagus, both because he was sure there were no real panthers just wandering around the school grounds, and also because he instinctively recognised the scent, though he couldn’t quite place where from.
Harry backed up slightly as the other panther neared, but the panther pounced anyway. Harry rolled away before he pushed back up onto all four legs and ran. He was given chase and caught again, though he realised quickly that the other panther wasn’t aiming to cause him any pain.
He wanted to play.
As soon as that clicked in Harry’s mind, he stopped running and spun around quickly, turning on the offensive, though he was careful not to cause any damage.
The two big cats played, rolling together and running and pouncing until they were exhausted, lying close together on the damp grass, each of them panting heavily.
Harry couldn’t remember ever having so much fun.
As dawn broke overhead, the two panthers moved towards the school before they parted ways. Making sure that nobody was watching him, Harry transformed back into his usual self and headed up to his room to shower and get ready for the school day.
Even tired, his classes would surely be a cakewalk.
…
The rest of the school year passed by in a haze of classes, homework and nights spent running around the grounds with his new friend.
Harry had checked the registry for any other panthers, but found none that could be his friend. He held no judgement against the other animagus; his own father hadn’t been registered either, so who was Harry to judge?
He found himself waiting for the hours spent rolling and playing and lying together in comfortable silence. He’d never felt such a connection to another being, and more and more he wanted nothing more than to meet his panther in human form.
As the N.E.W.Ts began, even Harry had to put a bit of effort into his studying, recapping the earlier years rather than the more complicated seventh year material that he was confident he could perform well.
He’d just finished his potions review for the following day when Professor McGonagall happened upon him in the library.
“Good evening, Harry.”
“Evening, Professor.”
She smiled at him, and then nodded to the books he was stacking, readying to put them back on the shelves he’d pulled them from.
“Are you prepared for your Potions exam?”
He nodded. “I think so. I’ve reviewed everything that I can think will be on the exam, anyway. Now I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.”
“Have you been enjoying your nightly wanderings? It must have been nice to have some company,” she said, as she picked up some of the books to help him place them back on their relevant shelves.
Harry frowned slightly, turning to look at her. “How did you know about that, Professor?”
“I saw you and Severus a few nights ago, as I walked past one of the windows on the seventh floor. You looked like you were having a grand old time.”
Harry’s mind blanked out for a moment. Severus . Severus Snape .
“I’m sorry, Professor, I think that you must be mistaken. I’ve got no idea who the panther is that joins me during the evenings, but it can’t be the Headmaster. I know that he doesn’t hate me, these days, but I’m quite sure that he isn’t my friend.”
Professor McGonagall chuckled lightly. “Of course it’s the Headmaster. It was I who taught him to become an Animagus, Harry, I’d recognise him anywhere. Besides, it was I that told him about you getting your form so quickly, otherwise, he wouldn’t have known to come and join you.”
“He knew that it was me?” Harry asked, his frown deepening as he placed the last of the books on its shelf.
He could feel the anger building up inside himself. How could Snape play him like that?
Harry had believed that he’d made a genuine friend—perhaps, if he was honest with himself, even more than a friend—and now, he just felt betrayed and hurt.
“Harry? I thought that you knew it was—”
Harry shook his head. “It’s fine, Professor. I should get to dinner now, or Ron and Hermione will be up here looking for me. Have a nice rest of your evening.”
He walked away before she could reply, but instead of heading for the Great Hall, which wouldn’t be filling up for another twenty minutes anyway, he made his way straight up to the Headmaster’s office.
Surprisingly, he didn’t even have to try and think up a password. The Gargoyle immediately moved out of his way as he approached. Riding up the steps to the office, Harry knocked on the door, trying his hardest to calm his temper.
He wanted to know what Snape’s game was, not get himself expelled when he was this close to graduating.
He was called in, and he entered quietly, closing the door behind himself. Snape looked surprised when he realised that it was Harry approaching the desk.
“Professor McGonagall just informed me that you’re the panther that’s been joining me on the grounds in the evenings. I just came to let you know that I don’t appreciate you playing nasty games with me, Headmaster. I don’t know what you were trying to gain by doing it, but… just leave me alone, please.”
“Potter, I—”
“Please, Sir. I can’t… I can’t argue or fight with you anymore. I just don’t want to deal with it. I know that you still don’t particularly like me, but I’ll be away from the school soon and you’ll never have to see me again.”
Harry turned away and headed for the door, ignoring the huff that came behind him, along with the protest of, “Potter, for the love of Merlin, would you just listen to me for once!”
He had no room in his life for games; he’d played enough of them with Voldemort. He also couldn’t deny that he’d hoped he’d made a new friend in his fellow panther.
Now that he knew he hadn’t, the evenings he’d cherished so much felt… tainted.
That night, Harry remained stubbornly in his room, staring up at the ceiling.
He didn’t sleep much.
…
The exams were over. Harry let out a sigh of relief along with his classmates, and enjoyed the rowdy conversations at the table over dinner.
They had a week to wait now, a week of relaxing until they found out if they’d scored well enough to continue on with their life plans.
Harry was planning to go to Merlin University, though he still hadn’t decided on which Mastery he planned to attempt. He was interested in a few subjects, and he’d been contemplating if he could manage the workload of doing two Masteries at the same time.
Stretching his arms above his head, he looked out of the window onto the rapidly darkening grounds. He hadn’t been out since his confrontation with the Headmaster, and he was itching to get out of his skin for a while, to just run and be free for a while.
Deciding that it was unlikely Snape would be out there, Harry put his trainers on and headed out, waving briefly to Ron and Hermione before they could ask him where he was going. His transformation was easy, and in minutes, he was running freely across the grass.
This was exactly the release he’d needed after a solid two weeks of exams.
And yet… after an hour had passed, he found himself missing his friend. Flopping down by the side of the lake, he let his head fall to rest on his paws.
He lay in the moonlight for a while, until a crack sounded, catching his attention. His body tensed up as he lifted his head and turned slowly.
A familiar figure was walking cautiously towards him, head hanging down slightly in a sign that Harry instinctively took as submission. Harry growled a warning, but he didn’t move.
Snape lay down in front of Harry, his own head on his paws in a mirror image of how Harry had been lying. He whined quietly.
Harry wasn’t sure what to make of it. If only panthers could talk. He thought for a moment about turning himself back into a human, but found himself reluctant to do so.
Snape edged forwards until the very tips of their paws were touching. There was a pause, and then he licked at Harry’s jaw once.
Harry blinked, confused by the action for a moment.
Had he really been so wrong? He tilted his head slightly to the side, and Snape mirrored him again, before leaning forward to gently bump his head against Harry’s.
Apparently, he had.
Hesitantly, he repeated Snape’s action, bumping their heads gently. Snape’s eyes lit up.
They stood at the same time, circling one another closely, their bodies rubbing against one another, before finally, Snape stepped away, padding off across the grounds towards the school. He looked over his shoulder impatiently when Harry didn’t immediately follow him.
Harry snorted, following behind as he was led up to the main doors. When Snape slipped inside, still in his panther form, Harry did the same, sliding slightly on the polished floor.
They walked all the way up to the Headmaster’s office, and only when they’d gone through the office to the private chambers attached, did Snape turn back into a human.
Harry didn’t follow.
He walked cautiously forwards, nudging Snape’s hand with his head. Snape took the hint immediately, sitting down in an armchair and stroking his hand through Harry’s fur gently.
“I was never playing a game,” the man said quietly. “And I always intended to tell you who I was—after you were no longer my student. I… it was a novelty at first, having another big cat around. Company, after the life that I have led, is a novel concept, and oddly enough, your company was exactly what I craved.”
He sighed, and then added, “I certainly never set out to hurt you, Harry.”
Harry listened carefully, feeling like a fool for immediately jumping to assumptions as he had. He let out a low whine of apology, making Severus chuckle lightly.
“I understand why you were hurt, Harry. Had it been the other way around, I surely would have thought the same, or likely even worse of your intentions.”
Harry stepped back from under the hand that had been tickling behind his ear, and in moments, was standing as his usual self, watching the Headmaster cautiously.
“I’m sorry that I accused you of trying to play games,” he said, after a moment. “I… overreacted, because I thought that the panther—you—was my friend, and I was… I didn’t want to lose you, but I thought you wouldn’t…”
He trailed off, wincing at his lack of eloquence. He just didn’t really know how to put his feelings into words. Severus nodded, standing up.
“Please, don’t concern yourself with it any longer. You understand now, yes?” he asked, as he neared.
There was barely any space between them when he stopped. Harry looked up into the familiar dark eyes, wondering how he hadn’t instantly known that those eyes belonged to his panther, and vice versa. Although, in fairness, those eyes had never looked at him with such warmth before.
With such affection.
“I think I’m starting to,” Harry replied, leaning into the hand that cupped his cheek.
Their lips joined in the sweetest of kisses, and Harry’s arm automatically raised to rest against Severus’ chest, as Severus’ other hand rested against Harry’s hip.
When Severus pulled away, he smiled. “We shouldn’t… nothing more can happen while you still attend Hogwarts. But… I hoped… you would join me by the fire for a while?”
With that, he stepped back and transformed, circling the small carpet twice before he lay down, dark eyes on Harry.
Harry took the hint and joined him, transforming before he flopped down beside him, his head resting heavily against Severus’ heaving stomach.
Severus let out a noise of contentment, and Harry closed his eyes, letting the heat of the fire bathe over him.
It would be interesting, he thought, to see what would come of this. He fell asleep that way, leaning against Severus’ stomach, suddenly optimistic that his loneliness had come to an end.