Archive of Our Own

He refused to talk to anyone when he woke up. In fact, as soon as he opened his eyes, acute senses now heightened, he fled to a room tucked away in the corner of the building. One with a lock on the door so he could keep out unwanted visitors. Which, for the time being, was everyone. He did not want to see anyone’s faces. He did not want to explain to his brother how much of a fuck up he was. He did not want Sakusa to take one look at him and see the monster he was now.

Sure, they worked with certain monsters– though sometimes Atsumu would not consider them monsters, per se . Tabaxi were dangerous when they needed to be but Kenma was a trusted ally. Plus, there was the shapeshifter and dragon shifter situated up in the Kurasuno branch, and they were always friendly and made conversation with him. 

But vampires were a different story entirely.

There was a– now, he wasn't sure what it was. Whether it was a voice, calling out. A mental link to more like him now that he was no longer human. Or something more sinister and twisted than he could even imagine. A creature yearning to be satiated. It was a hunger like no other. He had never experienced it before, the feeling sending him reeling. He was slumped in the corner of the room, too tired to move but so aware of everything that sleep was undoubtedly not possible. His form shaking, huddled in on himself. He wanted to hurt. There was an animalistic, guttural feeling that was begging for him to lash out and attack. To feed on flesh and blood. Images flashed in his mind, fangs dripping crimson and bared into a toothy grin.

Right now the fangs sat uncomfortably in his mouth. Two protruding, unfamiliar objects that jutted out against his gums. If he were to run his tongue over them he would feel how pointed they were. Prime and ready to rip apart prey.

Atsumu did not want to be a monster.

So he locked himself up in his room, stomach twisted into tight knots. Several people had come to knock on his door but he still refused to answer. Not when Kita tapped gently and asked to talk. He couldn't look the older man in the eyes right now in fear of being looked down upon. To be looked at with pitying eyes. Not when Sakusa came by the first day, realising that Atsumu had fled to a far-off room. (He tried not to think about the fact that that was the only time the man had come to attempt contact.) He didn’t even open the door for his brother, who would bang a fist against the wood and yell at Atsumu to open up. Not even when Suna asked if he could check him over, rattling the door handle.

He stayed by himself. Maybe he would die in the room, a cold corpse. Perhaps that would be a better outcome for him, rather than wallowing in self-hatred and fighting the urge to clamp down his teeth into something alive and squirming.

Though he supposed, not even the strongest of wills could have kept him there forever.

It had been around a week. Atsumu wondered what had compelled him to do so (though a part of his mind reasoned that there was no reason for any of this. He was simply being propelled forward by a more instinctual part of his brain) when he quietly unlocked the door. He stepped out, weary. Though he was fortunate enough that the corridors were empty. Slowly he had been getting used to heightened senses, his hearing and smell now impeccable. Eyesight far better than he could ever imagine. He could tell this part of the guild was quiet. Footsteps echoed off in a different sector but not close enough for him to worry about escaping once again.

He was near the back of the building. He knew that there was an exit just around the corner. So, as if with a mind of their own, his feet took him there. Then he swung open the door and glanced out into the sunkissed land.

Behind their clan building was a large grassy area. They were situated on the outskirts of town. Mostly because not every monster they came across they killed and some of the townspeople would be horrified to hear that news. Out here they were unbothered. Just past the grass it blended into the forestry that wrapped around a section of the town. A lot of hunting happened there as a lot of creatures resided within the foliage, hidden within the shadows.

Atsumu wanted nothing more than to tumble out past the door and run into those woods.

The past week he had had the curtains closed. It had been the first thing he subconsciously did as he entered, shrouding his surroundings in a comfortable darkness. He realised that even within the shadows of the curtains he could see perfectly fine, eyesight acutely prepared for that environment.

He knew, realistically, that this was a stupid idea.

But the human part of his brain was screaming for him to step out. Perhaps to confirm to himself. Perhaps to feel like he still had a semblance of control in his wrecked life. Perhaps to feel something other than a numbing sadness and regret.

With a controlled breath, he took one step out–

Then hissed loudly, body reeling back inside as the bitter scent of burning flesh filled the air.

“Shit, shit,” he muttered, glaring at the bubbling, raw pink mess that was previously his forearm. He knew that vampires could heal quickly. He had tested the theory out himself but this felt entirely different. It was present and unmoving, the sensation of fire alight within his muscles. The feeling refused to slow down.

“Atsumu?”

He froze. Not daring to turn around. He could feel Suna’s eyes trained on him and he inwardly cursed at himself for letting down his guard at such a crucial moment.

“Atsumu.” He repeated, voice stern but Atsumu noted the concerned undertones. “You idiot, if you don't let me help you then I’m going to–”

“Don’t” he whispered, voice breaking.

He could practically hear the eye roll as Suna sighed. “Idiot. You’re not going to hurt me.” Footsteps approached and a hand grabbed his shoulder. He flinched but made no effort to escape the grasp. “You know full well that I won’t allow you to do that. So stop running away and let me do my fucking job.”

For a second he just breathed. The burnt smell choked out his senses. A grounding hand squeezed his shoulder. Finally, “Can we do it back in the room I’m staying in?”

He felt the grip relax slightly as if Suna was ready for Atsumu to deny any help and make a run for it. They both knew that Atsumu was far quicker now. If he wanted out, Suna wouldn’t really have much to try and stop him. “Yeah, we can do that.”

They walked back to the room in silence, Atsumu turning his gaze to the floor. Suna, despite being more relaxed now, didn't remove his hand as if he didn't fully trust Atsumu to not try and find a way out of this. Atsumu did not try and run. Instead, they entered the dim room he had been hauled up in this past week. Door shutting with a click behind them.

“Alright, sit wherever you want and I’ll get to work.”

Atsumu stalled and stood as still as a statue in the centre of the room. He blinked, feeling a waver to his lips that made him feel like an utter coward.

“Atsumu?”

Breathe. “Don’t you think I’m a monster?”

Suna sighed deeply, making his way around Atsumu so they were face to face. Finally, could Atsumu see Suna’s eyes, riddled with questions and concerns and most importantly, they looked kind. “I don’t think of you any differently if that's what you’re trying to ask,” he said, matter-of-factly. “Vampire or not, you are still Atsumu.”

He bit his lip in a feeble attempt to stop it from trembling.

“We’re trying, y’know?” Suna continued, “All of us are going to find a way to accommodate whatever new needs you're going to, well, need.  You’d do the same for us, I know that much. And, just so you are aware, none of us are scared of you. None.”

Atsumu opened his mouth. Then closed it again, the words dying on his tongue.

“So let us help, dumbass. Can't have progress if you never leave your room like some sulky teenager whose mom said no to something.”

That got a wet laugh out of Atsumu, neither of them noting how glossy the blond’s eyes were. “I don’t wanna hurt any of you,” he mumbled.

“And we won't let you, alright?”

“...alright.”

“Now sit your ass down and let me heal your arm before it's permanently damaged or some shit. Your brother will murder me if I don’t actually help you.”

That time he listened. He sat down on the edge of the bed and let Suna do his work. His friend's eyes glowed momentarily, fingers splayed as a gentle yellow sheen spread over them. As it brushed past the buzzing skin, it sent a wave of warmth over it. Not uncomfortable or too much but more like a blanket that you could cuddle on a too-cold winter's day. The skin flattened itself out, bumps turning smooth as if there had never been a burn in the first place.

“See? You’re fine. I’m fine.”

Atsumu was always in awe of Suna’s abilities and now hadn’t changed. He admired his arm, unscathed and good as new. “Thanks, Rin.”

“No problem. Now I’m going to go take a nap, you know how my magic absolutely drains me.” He said, standing up and heading over to the door. “Oh– and promise me not to lock yourself up in here for another week, okay? If there’s a voice in your head telling you it needs to feed, let us know. We can all work something out together.”

Atsumu blinked, eyes feeling wet once again. “Thanks,” he repeated. Just that one word held so many unspoken things and Suna knew exactly what Atsumu was putting down.

“We’re family, we stick together.” Suna shrugged nonchalantly, opening the door. “You’re not going through this alone. You know none  of us would allow for that to happen.”