Archive of Our Own ^beta

SOPHOMORE YEAR, FALL

The first time Eddie Diaz makes proper eye contact Evan Buckley, he throws up.

Technically, he had already been throwing up.

But there was something about seeing the Evan Buckley enter the bathroom that made the stomach acid inside of Eddie do flips even faster. The way that his curls framed his birthmark perfectly and his wide, concerned eyes when he got a sight of him.

(Eddie could only imagine how bad he looked from an outside perspective, especially someone who he had never properly spoken to.

The way that his skin was pale against the linoleum, and he could feel his white t-shirt clinging onto him for dear life. It fit him fine, but the clamminess made everything feel like he was suffocating.) 

Eddie watches as Evan approaches him, a soft smile on his face. 

He wants to lean away from him, desperate to create some distance, but with every hobble backwards that Eddie takes, Evan takes one of equal distance forward.

“Is there something on my face?” Evan says coyly.

Eddie stares at him. “W-what?”

“Is there something on my face?” he repeats. “Is that why you’re backing away like I’m a villain in a 90s slasher movie?”

“No.” Eddie responds, his voice hoarse.

Evan gets down to his level and nods, pressing his lips together. “Well, good. What’s going on, then?”

“Why are you talking to me?”

“Why wouldn’t I be talking to you?” Evan asks him, dumbfounded. “You’re Eddie, right?” Okay. That’s not what Eddie was expecting him to say. A part of Eddie didn’t think anyone knew who he was outside of the few people that he called his friend. “You’re in my English class. You sit behind me.” he adds easily.

And, okay.

Yes, technically Eddie does indeed sit behind him in English. Evan, from what Eddie understood, just didn’t seem like the type to remember someone who was in a class, especially that sat behind him.

“Yes, I am.” Eddie comments slowly, leaning himself against the wall. 

“Listen, Evan, I don’t mean to be rude.”

“Buck.”

Eddie turns to him. “What?”

“I don’t go by Evan.” he clarifies. “Teachers call me it because my parents… will react if they don’t.”

There’s a tinge of sadness in his tone, but Eddie just nods. “Okay, Buck. I don’t mean to be rude.”

“You’re not being rude.” 

Eddie stares at him. 

Buck is just smiling at him, but Eddie can easily see that his gaze is fixated on a crack on the wall. 

“Okay.” Eddie says uneasily. “So what are you doing here?”

“In the bathroom? I saw you run in here. I figured I’d come and make sure you were okay.” Buck answers. “On this earth? I don’t know. Ask my parents. Actually, for your sake, don’t meet my parents.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

Buck laughs.

Eddie just watches him, the way the sun pouring in from the tinted window frames his face.

“Is there something on your mind?” Eddie asks eventually.

Buck sighs. “Nothing you should be concerned with.”

“I wasn’t… I’m not trying to pry.” Eddie insists. “I just, well, I mean, I felt kind of sick as you saw. You… your talking just… calms me a little bit I guess? I was just hoping you could fill the space.”

“Fill the space?” Buck parrots. “With what?”

Eddie shrugs. “Whatever you’re interested in.”

For a moment, Eddie thinks that he broke him. But, the way that Buck’s face curls into a blinding smile shakes the fear right out of him.

He inhales. “Tell me if I talk too much, okay?” Eddie nods, waving his hand, desperate for thoughts to float in his mind that weren’t his own. “Okay, so I just finished reading Othello, right?”

“Othello?” Eddie interjects. “I didn’t realize we were supposed to read that for class yet.”

“Oh we’re not! We’re reading Macbeth later in the year for our Shakespeare lesson, I talked to Smith about it.”

“So you just… read Othello?”

Buck nods. “Anyways! I just finished reading Othello and, I have to say. Iago was definitely in love with Othello. I mean, I know he plays it like he was jealous or that he wanted to be his right hand man but who wants to be someone’s right hand man without also wanting to kiss them!”

Eddie just watches him.

Buck goes on for ten minutes about different characters from various Shakespeare plays and how they were for sure into someone other than who they ended up getting with, and Eddie just watches.

Buck’s face keeps lighting up whenever Eddie shifts but doesn’t move from his position. Every once in a while, Eddie makes a comment about Shakespeare. His relationship with him wasn’t overly positive, but he did know enough about it that he had something to say.

Eventually, Buck stops for longer than he had before.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Eddie nods. “Yeah, I’m fine. I don’t know what was wrong with me earlier. I was walking with my friend Karen and I just felt sick. She was going to follow me in here, but she didn’t want to be late to… oh.” 

“What?”

“We’ve definitely missed some classes.” Eddie says, standing up. “I don’t know about you but…”

Buck stands up and fixes his shirt. “It’s okay, Eddie.” he tells him quietly. “Maybe… we shouldn’t meet like this again?”

“Was I that bad of company?”

“That’s not what I meant.” Buck says. “I meant like, maybe we could meet outside of the bathroom.”

Eddie nods without thinking. “Sure.” Buck extends his right hand, holding a black ball point pen. He starts scribbling something on Eddie’s hand. “What are you doing!”

“I’m writing my number down.” Buck tells him.

“Why didn’t you just give me your phone so I could put my number in like regular people?”

Something flashes across his face. “I left my phone at home.”

Leave it alone, Eddie.

“Well, that makes sense.” Eddie says, pulling his hand away from him. “So, I’ll text you when I get home, then?”

Buck nods. “Yeah.” he glances at his watch and turns to the bathroom door. “I’ll see you around Diaz!” 

Eddie gives him a few minutes before leaving the bathroom himself. He walks around the halls slowly, until he finds his way to the glass wall in front of the chemistry room.

More specifically, he finds Karen leaning against the wall, nose deep in a chemistry book.

“Karen.” he says, sliding himself across the floor.

She looks up, her eyes wide. “Eddie! Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you.”

“I was in the bathroom.” he says, resisting the urge to play with his hands. If he moves his fingers the wrong way, Buck’s number would be gone, and he couldn’t afford that. “I told you I didn’t feel good.”

“I know you did, but damn. What took so long?”

Eddie stares at her. “I met Evan Buckley.”

“Very good joke, Eddie.” Karen replies. “And I met Jacob Elordi. What actually took you so long?”

“I met Evan Buckley.” Eddie repeats. “I’m not joking!”

She closes her textbook, her mouth agape. “The football player Evan Buckley? Friends with Henrietta Wilson, love of my li—”

“She can’t be the love of your life if you never say anything to her!” 

Karen snorts, promptly ignoring him. “Friends with Henrietta Wilson, love of my life. That Evan Buckley?”

“No, the Evan Buckley that hangs out in the alley. Yes, that Evan Buckley.” Eddie says, vaguely feeling heat rising to his cheeks. “And, I got his number!”

“You got his number!” Karen repeats.

“I got his number.” Eddie confirms, showing her his hand, where Buck’s number is written complete with ‘:)’ next to it.

“I cannot believe you.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

Buck was buzzing.

That could have been because of the fact that he gave Eddie Diaz his phone number mere hours earlier, it could be because his coach was letting him run drills after being on the bench, or it could be because his brother left that morning for college.

No longer did he have to hear “Why can’t you be more like Daniel” ever day from his parents.

Sure, they had taken his phone that morning because he was taking too long getting ready and “Daniel never did that”, but he was too excited about everything else to care.

Sighing, Buck slips off his shoes and jeans, favoring them for his football practice outfit instead.

“Who’s got you blushing, Buckley?” Chimney asks from his left.

“Yeah! You’re pink, dude!” Albert, his brother, adds.

Buck could comment on how Albert didn’t even look up when he said anything, but he bites his tongue. “I’m not blushing.”

Sexuality was a tough conversation, Buck found.

Sure, he was confident enough in his label of bisexual. And when he had broken down crying while telling his sister a few months before, she immediately hugged him and told him how proud she was. 

But there was something about possibly coming out to the entire football team that left a sour taste in his mouth.

Theoretically, they’d be okay with it.

Chimney and Albert — and Buck — were friends with Henrietta Wilson, who was an out and proud lesbian. Neither of them seemed to ever have a problem with that. She would gush about girls she saw in school that she found attractive, and neither of them would say anything rude. 

“It’s okay to admit it.” Chimney comments.

Albert nods. “It’s also okay to not tell us!” he says, slapping Chimney in the shoulder. “You don’t have to.”

Buck smiles. “You’re getting nothing out of me!”

Chimney rolls his eyes. “Be boring,” he says, standing up. “Last one outside is a rotten egg!” Albert lets out a huff, but he stands and follows Chimney out the door regardless.

“You can’t do that to me! I just got off the bench!”

Buck, Chimney and Albert arrive outside soon enough, quickly lining up next to Tommy and Kevin.

Tommy Kinard was a year or two older than Buck, and despite him being adamant on not wanting to date anyone, every girl in the school the year before held up poorly made signs in support of him.

Kevin was the opposite of Tommy in every way. He was practically Chimney’s other brother, and Buck was happy to spend a few hours a week with him.

“Are you feeling okay, Buck?” Kevin asks.

Buck nods. “My leg is fine, Kev. If anything weird happens, I’ll tell you or coach immediately.” 

“You could tell Hen, too.” Chimney adds. “She’s the assistant coach and the medic for us this year.”

“What happened to Jonah?”

“Mr. Greenway got kicked out.” A voice says, approaching the team.

Buck looks up, his eyes finding the piercing sun before finding their coach. Bobby Nash was unlike any person Buck had met, and despite him being his coach, Buck felt more like he was his father more than anything else. “Ms. Wilson will be filling in, so if anyone has medical issues, go see her, okay?”

“Yes, sir.” 

Practice proceeds as normal, and Buck slips his way into his jeep and drives home before anyone can stop him.

Some days he would be willing to talk about the different plays that were made, but today was not the day. Today, he wanted to get home, tell Maddie about his day and see if he had any texts waiting.

In reality, he was probably getting his hopes up too high especially considering Eddie has his own life, but Buck hoped nonetheless.

The Buckley household, from the outside, lacked everything. It looked dead despite the plants that were threatening to overpower their siding and it felt empty despite the fact that four (usually five) people lived there.

Buck parks the jeep haphazardly, knowing he was most likely going to go out after dinner if anything went wrong.

Slowly, he makes his way into the house to find his phone sitting on the entryway table with a note in Maddie’s handwriting waiting for him; ‘They won’t be back until late. Come see me when you’re ready to talk. PS, Swiped this for you and charged it.’

Buck properly clicks on his phone, and he feels his heart skip a beat when he sees a string of texts from an unknown number.

***-***-4013

—

4:30 PM

hey buck !! it’s eddie :D

i know you said you left your phone at home but i just wanted to send these now!! 

6:45 PM

hey eddie! promise i wasn’t ignoring you, practice just went longer then i expected :)

how’re you feeling? less sick i hope

Buck changes Eddie’s name in his contacts and walks down the hall, his feet dragging behind him as he knocks on Maddie’s door.

“Buck!” she says, standing up and wrapping her arms around him. “How was your day?”

He smiles softly and nods. “So, you know Eddie Diaz? The guy in my English class I told you about?”

“Yes…?”

“And you remember how you said I possibly like like him and how I should just shoot my shot?”

Maddie nods. “Of course. Josh and I still talk about blind you must’ve been before we told you that.”

“So, I might’ve given him my number today.”

His sister blinks.

Blinks again.

Before she gasps and says, “Oh my God! Buck! Did he say anything? Have you checked your phone? Come on, don’t leave me hanging like that! What happened!”

“He did text me.” Buck says quietly. “And I replied.”

“Buck! This is so good!”

He shakes his head. “He’s probably straight, Maddie. I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

“You don’t have to get your hopes up. You can just be friends with him.” Maddie says. “And that’s better than nothing.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Now come on! Let me see!” Buck groans, turning his phone to her.

eddie :D

—

6:45 PM

hey eddie! promise i wasn’t ignoring you, practice just went longer then i expected :)

how’re you feeling? less sick i hope

definitely feeling better, thanks for asking!

how was practice?

i don’t want to bore you with that

you won’t!

my sister won’t stop talking about how the last medic got expelled or smth ??

omg yeah jonah

idk all the details

how does your sister know?

she’s a cheerleader

apparently a redhead was talking about it

taylor, i think?

taylor kelly

she’s not a cheerleader, she works on the paper

we have a newspaper?

never said it was a successful paper

“You know, if you’re going to mention the paper, you should also mention that your super cool older sister is the editor.” Maddie quips.

Buck rolls his eyes, clicking off his phone. “I’ll bring that up next time we talk, don’t worry.” She smiles, her eyes glued onto his. “What?”

“There’s something on your mind, I can tell.”

He lets out a sigh. “They’re out again tonight?”

Maddie lowers her head, hugging him tightly again. “Please don’t go where I know you’re going.”

“Did they leave this much before?”

“Before what?”

“Before me.”

Maddie frowns. “Buck I’m a year older than you. Truthfully, I don’t really know.”

“I mean… you know.”

“What?”

“Before I…”

She freezes. “Buck.” he looks at her with tears in his eyes. “You know what happened with him isn’t your fault. You were a kid who got taken advantage of.”

“I know I was.” he says forcefully. “But did they go out every night before that happened?”

“You can’t think like that, Buck. What happened to you, it wasn’t because of anything you did wrong. And their shitty parenting and shitty reaction aside, you’re still here. And hey, think about it. Them going out every night means you get to hang out with me!”

Buck frowns. “I just wish…”

“I know, Buck.” she says, teary eyed. “Me too.”

Eddie hated homecoming season.

Everyone was full of so much cheer and excitement that he wanted to crumple into a ball. 

The only place he ever found a moment to himself was the library because most people avoided the library like the plague. 

It was a cold day in November when Eddie took solace there to focus on his biology homework. He positioned himself at a table in the corner by the window so he could look out the window when the words on the page started floating in front of his eyes. He had been there for ten minutes when books landed on the table across from him.

All Eddie saw at a first glance was a letterman jacket, and he wanted nothing more than to roll his eyes.

So he does.

Multiple times.

“Really, Eddie?” 

Eddie looks up, frowning. “Oh! Buck! Sorry!”

Buck shakes his head. “Wow, don’t I feel special.”

“Sorry.” Eddie responds through gritted teeth. “I just thought you were someone else.” 

“Nah, I get it.” Buck says. “I’d hide from most of the guys on the team too. There are only a few that are chill. I’d like to think I’m one of the semi-okay ones.”

“You’re definitely not too bad.”

Buck smiles, running a hand through his curls. The two of them sit there in silence for a moment, Eddie flipping through his biology textbook and Buck just watching him, until hands slam down on the table.

Unlike a few moments prior, Eddie doesn’t roll his eyes.

He doesn’t even have to move a muscle to know who was looking over his table.

“Hi Sophia.” he says, flipping to another page.

His little sister sighs. “Hi Eddie.” she responds, and he can feel the moment her eyes catch Buck. “Oh! Hi Evan!”

“It’s still Buck.”

“Sorry.” Sophia tells him, sitting next to Eddie, promptly almost spilling his water bottle. “So, my brother wasn’t kidding.” she says. A part of Eddie feels weird about the fact she was talking about him with him sitting there, but he couldn’t bring himself to comment.

“About what?” Buck questions.

Sophia leans forward. “About you two being friends!”

“Friends?” Buck asks Eddie, softly.

“Yes.” Eddie responds, not looking up. “Friends call you Buck, right? I mean, I heard Tommy the other day in the hall call you Evan.”

(Admittedly, Eddie didn’t know a lot about football and the football culture or camaraderie of it all. 

But, he did know a football player lurking in the halls when he saw one and the way Tommy was holding himself was pure football player.

He had been talking to some girl about Buck, but had said ‘Oh Evan is a really good player, he just got off the bench’. The way he phrased it like Buck was some fragile deer made Eddie squirm.)

Buck stares at him. “Oh. Well, yes, Sophia. We’re friends.” 

Sophia smiles, and Eddie can tell there’s something on her mind, but he knows better than to press her. “So, what’s going on, Soph?”

“I don’t know if it’s something you want to talk about in…” she spares Buck a glance. “mixed company.”

Eddie feels his eyebrows knit together as his gaze wanders to Buck.

Was he mixed company?

He didn’t feel like mixed company.

The two of them had been talking for over a month pretty consistently.

Sure, they hadn’t talked about anything too specific or deep, but they talked plenty. 

He felt like someone that Eddie had been friends with for a lifetime. Like there wasn’t a world out there where the two of them weren’t friends.

Buck smiles softly. “I can go if it’s some Diaz family secret.”

“We don’t have secrets.” Eddie insists. “Not really.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I can go.” Buck repeats.

“It’s fine if you stay, Buck.” Sophia interrupts. “I imagine that Eddie will tell you what I say regardless anyways.”

Eddie slaps Sophia’s shoulder. “Soph.”

“Do you really tell me everything?”

“No.” Yes.

Sophia inhales deeply. “Dad’s coming back.” she says quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. “He’s on his way back now.”

Eddie freezes. “W-what?”

“I think he closed the deal.” Sophia tells him. “I honestly don’t know the logistics of everything. Plus, I didn’t really think to ask about it.”

“Why didn’t mom say anything this morning?”

“She was supposed to.” 

Eddie feels Buck’s eyes on him. “Are you okay?”

Truthfully, Eddie hadn’t spoken to his father in a few months. Roman was a businessman first, everything else second.

When he had left to go on his most recent business adventure, Eddie had originally tried to text him and keep in contact, but eventually, his texts went unanswered and he found it easier to pretend like his younger sister was the only family he had.

“Um, yeah.” Eddie turns his attention to Buck, frowning. “I’ll talk to you about it later. I, um, I don’t mean to sound rude…”

Buck nods. “I know family stuff is hard.” He stands, gathering his things. Eddie watches for a moment as he considers. Considers what, Eddie— oh.

Buck places his hand firmly on Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie feels his knees buckle beneath the out of date table at the contact, and that isn’t helped by Buck’s eye contact, which he hasn’t broken.

He’s just standing there, sun bouncing off his curls while gently rubbing his finger on the spot on Eddie’s shoulder where he picks at his skin.

“I’ll text you, okay? Keep me posted!” he says, breaking contact. “Bye Soph!” he sprints out of the library, barreling past the shelves of books before Eddie has a chance to say anything.

Sophia turns her attention to him, her eyebrow raised. “What was that about?”

“Nothing.” She frowns, and Eddie huffs. “Something we can deal with later.”

“Works for me.”

“Can we get back on topic?”

“Unless that topic is the clear tension between you and Buck then no.” Eddie sighs. “There’s not really anything more to say, Eddie. Dad’s coming back, I don’t know what more you expect me to say.”

“Okay.”

Sophia looks at him. “So… can we talk about Buck now?”

“There’s nothing to say.” Eddie insists. “What are you doing tonight?”

“I’m going to be at the football game.” she groans, slumping in her chair. “I don’t even get why the cheerleaders have to go. Nobody goes to a football game for the cheerleaders!”

“The football game?”

“Yes? It’s this thing when the players run up and down the field with a ball?” Sophia tells him. “I think I’m going out afterwards too.” 

“Can I get tickets?”

Sophia snorts. “To see Buck?”

“No!” Eddie insists. “Karen has taken a liking to Henrietta Wilson who is the medic, as you know. I think she might benefit from possibly talking to her, or at least seeing her in the flesh.”

“You definitely just want to see Buck.”

“Buck is my friend, I can see him whenever I want.”

If Eddie ends up buying two tickets for the game with the hopes of seeing number 7 on the field, then he does.

“This ain’t a scene, it’s a goddamn arms race…” had been running through Buck’s head as he got ready. He hadn’t played a game for a little bit, and the fact that he was getting back on the field made him feel invincible.

As most good feelings, however, the moment of bliss and excitement he was feeling ended when Bobby came up to him, his arms crossed. “How’s the leg?”

Buck had gotten injured the previous season, and the injury had broken his leg so badly that he had to be put on blood thinners as a result of the blood loss that happened while he was being transported to the hospital, and he had practically begged Bobby to let him back onto the team. Reluctantly, Bobby had agreed, saying that if he was in pain ever, he had to immediately tell someone.

“It’s fine.” Buck says, turning his music down. 

Bobby cocks his head. “Are you sure, kid?” 

“I promise.”

And Bobby leaves it at that, pressing his lips together and walking away in a swift movement. 

A few moments later, Chimney and Hen are hovering over Buck, smiles plastered on their faces, but there’s a concerned look on their face that Buck immediately recognizes.

He had seen the exact same look on Maddie’s face plenty of times growing up. 

“Please do not ask me how I am.” Buck mutters, taking his headphones out of his ears, his music stopping and vanishing off his lock screen, leaving behind only his lock screen photo of him and Eddie from a few weeks before. 

“I wasn’t going to.”

Chimney turns to her. “You weren’t?”

“Nope.” Hen responds, sitting next to him. “I wanted to talk to him about Eddie. You just followed me over here for God knows what reason.”

Buck blinks. “Talk to me about Eddie?”

“You’re friends with him, right?” Buck nods. “And he’s friends with Karen.” Buck blinks again, his eyes wide when he opens them again. 

“Henrietta Wilson!”

Hen sucks in a breath. “What?”

“Do you like Karen?”

“Maybe.” Hen says easily. “I’ve seen her around school, she just seems like someone I would like to get to know better. What’s the harm in that?”

Buck sighs. “I have her phone number.”

“Excuse me?”

“I have her phone number.” he repeats. “I’ve hung out with her and Eddie plenty of times. We’re in a group chat together, actually.”

Hen inches forward. “What are the chances you give me her number?”

Buck smiles, unlocking his phone. “Well, I have to help you out! Queer people stick together, right?” he navigates through his apps, clicking open his contacts, sending Hen her number. “I sent it to you! Don’t say anything weird, okay? She seems… what?”

“What did you say?” Hen questions, not moving.

“I said I had to help you out.”

Hen nods. “After that.”

“Queer people…” Buck freezes. 

He can feel his mind spinning, thoughts running back and forth, his eyes glued on a spot on the wall behind Hen’s head. He can vaguely see Chimney sitting on the other side of her, but he doesn’t seem to be bothered by anything that had been said.

“Wait, Buck, did you just…” Chimney says.

Buck nods shakily. “I…”

Words won’t come out, and nothing bubbles to the surface. The one time Buck needs something to come out.

Some kind of lie, some kind of excuse, some kid of something to change everyone’s attention away from what he had just said.

Hen doesn’t say anything, just wraps her arms around Buck, squeezing him tightly, her arms on him like she doesn’t want to let him go. “Buck.” 

“That’s not… I didn’t want to tell you guys like that.” 

“I’m proud of you, Buck.” Hen responds, still not letting go.

Buck leans away from her, his eyes watery with unshed tears. He brings his right hand up, wiping his eyes. “I don’t know if labels are something you guys care about…”

“You don’t have to tell us if you’re not comfortable.”

“It’s not that!” Buck insists. “I feel comfortable with you guys, I just didn’t know how to tell you. Plus, I mean, you’ve both seen plenty of movies about football players, right? I mean…”

“Real life isn’t like that, Buck.” Hen insists.

Buck sniffles. “I know it’s not, I just got in my head.”

“So, do you have a label?”

“I’m bisexual.” he responds, less shaky.

Chimney leans forward. “I’m proud of you, dude.” he says calmly, and Buck can see that there’s something more he wants to ask. Buck arches his eyebrows, nodding. “Does Eddie know?”

No.

And, okay, there was a logical and fair explanation as to why Buck hadn’t told him yet.

Truthfully, Buck had forgotten it was something that he could tell anyone about. It was a part of himself that he kept locked away since he realized it was a part of him to begin with, and he had gotten so in his head about how people could react negatively, he forgot that people could react positively.

As stupid as it was, Buck didn’t know how to tell him, either.

It felt like something more than just a simple conversation, and it felt bigger than something he could just say to him while they were hanging out.

Plus, there was the whole thing about how a lot of straight guys didn’t feel comfortable being friends with queer men, but Buck prayed every night that Eddie wasn’t that kind of straight guy.

“No, he doesn’t.”

Chimney nods, his face breaking into a smile. “Wait. He’s not the reason you’ve been blushing is he?”

Buck groans. “I don’t blush!”

“You’re blushing right now!”

He stands up, his eyes laser focused on the door where Bobby was standing and where they would be lining up eventually. “I think Bobby is calling us! Chimney, have you checked the time? I think we should get going!”

“Buck, you do know we can both see him clearly talking to Tommy, right?”

Buck ignores them, promptly walking away from them. “I don’t think you’re seeing clearly, Chim! He’s been calling us! You’re just so focused on my love life you didn’t notice!”

Hen turns to Chim, standing up. “I guess we should probably get going anyways. You aren’t even ready yet, Chimney!”

“I’m almost ready!”

“No you’re not, Han.” Bobby says.

“You didn’t even turn around!”

“I don’t have to.”

Eventually, Bobby does summon everyone outside.

The lights above them are blinding, and the cool breeze in the air gives Buck a prominent chill.

He’s standing next to Chimney while the principal makes an announcement when he taps him on the shoulder, his eyes wide and when Buck turns to him, he’s pointing in the stands.

“Is that Eddie?”

“Very funny.” Buck sighs. “You are not distracting me like that! You do know that if I suck, that could cause everyone else to suck which would result in us losing which you don’t want.”

(I can’t afford that during the one football game my parents are going to see is what Buck means to say, but those words don’t make his past his mind.)

Chimney rolls his eyes. “I’m not joking.”

Buck watches where Chimney is pointing, following it with his eyes.

Standing in the middle of the stands is Eddie standing next to Karen. He’s wearing a high school crew-neck with a flannel resting on top of it. Buck can vaguely see some kind of fabric on the inside of the flannel, keeping him warm.

Buck wishes so badly that he wasn’t required to leave his phone back in the locker room. He can only imagine the potential of a stalker-esque text he could send to Eddie.

Black and white, kind of bad quality, but still decent enough that he could get the general idea.

Before Buck can finish his daydream, planning the exact angle to take the photo — he was thinking about a shot from his waist to show off Eddie’s features from a new angle — the national anthem rang through the stadium, and he quickly places his hand over his heart, his eyes still focused on Eddie.

20-17 is the score as the team piles into the building for halftime. 

Buck is trudging behind, desperate to not have to face his parents. Number 7, truthfully, hadn’t really done much the entire half. Most of the moves that made a difference were made by other people on his team, and don’t get it twisted, Buck wasn’t the kind of person who needed to make every goal to feel like he mattered. He was, however, the type of person who wanted to feel like what he did was important, and the way he was standing currently, he didn’t feel like that.

He unlocks his phone, tuning out Bobby’s speech, to find a new string of messages from his dad that he must have sent from the stands.

Dad

—

7:45PM

Not amazing playing out there, Evan. 

Your mother and I are both very busy people, we can’t just drop everything to come to your games if you’re going to play like that.

8:15PM

We’re leaving, I have some business to take care of. Try and get a ride home, we’re taking the jeep until you improve.

Buck feels his eyes water and his grip on his phone increases to the point that he can almost see the veins threatening to pop out. 

Sure, he hadn’t been doing amazing, but leaving in the middle of a game? He wasn’t doing that bad! He had made a field goal and passed the ball, allowing them to secure a touchdown. Sure, he could have run the field, his grasp firm on the ball securing the points himself, but he didn’t. He knew better than to steal someones thunder like that, plus, kicking the extra point would hurt his leg. 

He knew that.

So he held back.

He couldn’t appear weak in front of his parents, and even despite his trying to ensure he looked strong, it had the opposite effect.

He clears his throat, favoring texting Eddie instead of staring at his father’s words.

eddie :D

—

8:25PM

dude why didn’t you tell me you were going to the game!!!

i could have gotten you and karen really good seats had i known :( 

i didn’t want you to feel pressured

you mentioned last night that your parents were coming, ik that’s hard, i didn’t want to add anything to your plate

plus it was super last minute anyways

i would have much rather given my “nice” seats to you and karen

i didn’t think i’d see you, i thought your dad was going to be back by now

Buck watches as Eddie types and stops for what feels like a lifetime.

he is

but my sister is here and i’d rather be here supporting you and her than dealing with my dad being my dad

if i ever decide to go to another one of these, i’ll let you know

you don’t have to do that

how are you liking the sport?

it’s kind of a stupid thing, to be honest

you’re doing great, don’t get me wrong

but the rules and everything… idk man

i feel the same way

Buck ends up spending the rest of halftime texting Eddie, despite numerous protests from Chimney, who was trying to get Buck in on the bet about when Karen and Hen were going to get together.

(And, if after the game Buck runs into the stands, promptly ignoring the buzzing of pain in his leg, and pulls Eddie into a hug, thanking him for showing up, then he does.)

“What are friends for?” Eddie tells him.

“What are friends for.” Buck echoes.)

SOPHOMORE YEAR, SPRING

“You’ve never seen Andrew Scott play Hamlet?” Buck questions, tipping up a near-empty bag of chips just to ensure that he got every last piece.

Hanging out like this with Buck was new for Eddie.

The two of them were sitting on the floor in a secluded area of their cafeteria, far away from everyone else. Buck’s legs were slightly longer than Eddie’s, stretching just past his toes. 

It had become a thing since coming back after winter break to hang out during lunch. Football season was over, and Buck had explained to Eddie that he needed something to do during lunch that wasn’t pretending to care about what girl every guy on the team was hooking up with.

“My knowledge of Hamlet is split between The Lion King and that line from Be More Chill. I think you got all the crumbs out.”

Buck rolls his eyes. “The next time you come over to my place we’re watching his Hamlet! It’s decided! If you’re going to experience it for the first time, it has to be the way God intended.”

That was another new thing with them.

The ‘going over to my place’ thing. Eddie had never invited Buck over to his place as his father was home more often than he was at work, and Eddie didn’t want to make Buck uncomfortable.

But, because Buck’s parents were out most nights, Eddie spent most nights with Buck anyways.

The two would study, or sometimes watch a movie, and it worked. 

It worked freakishly well. 

Eddie had gotten to know Buck’s sister, Maddie, over the course of their winter break, and she was so welcoming to him immediately to the point that she would occasionally join them during movie nights.

There was also the mystery brother, who Eddie hadn’t met. It seemed like a sore subject, so Eddie just favored not bringing it up.

“I don’t know if Shakespeare intended Andrew Scott as Hamlet.”

“Well he should have!”

Realistically, Eddie could remind him that Andrew Scott and Shakespeare have never been alive at the same time, but the look that Buck’s giving him and the way his curls—

Okay.

Sitting in Eddie’s google search history on his incognito tab was a collection of questions. He never really saw the point of using an incognito browser, and he openly skipped it when people online would talk about VPNs as their sponsors. They would gush about how important it was to keep your private life private and how you sometimes search things that you didn’t want other people to know about, which Eddie never understood.

However, a few weeks prior, when he and Buck had been hanging out, there was a tug. 

It was a hard tug, just beneath his heart. Even now, sitting on the floor as Buck rambles about God knows what, Eddie still didn’t know the true source of it.

All he knew was that on the day it happened, Buck was wearing a dark green sweater, dark brown pants and green converse because they ‘matched his top’ and Eddie wasn’t one to argue. That specific day, the two of them had a Star Wars marathon together, and Buck just looked so… he looked so something.

Every once in a while, he would start talking about a scene in depth, bringing up behind the scenes horror stories and how there were common conspiracy theories surrounding everything. On his walk home (after insisting Buck didn’t have to drive him home), Eddie opened his phone’s incognito browser for the first time, and with a shaky hand, googled it.

The thing that Sophia alluded to whenever he talked about Buck.

The thing that Eddie himself had more or less been running from he was thirteen years-old, sitting on a old tire swing with his best friend.

The thing that Karen had brought up a few times in conversation, casually telling him that if it was true, she’d love him regardless.

The point was.

Sitting in his incognito browser history rested simple queries;

- how to tell if you’re in love

- am i in love with my best friend

- am i gay?

- how to tell if you’re gay

- i’m straight but i think i like my best friend

Since researching, Eddie knew nothing.

He knew that Buck was different from anyone else he ever met.

He knew that Buck made him feel comfortable.

He knew that when the sun hit Buck’s eyes, he would squint slightly, turn away from the light source, blink his eyes three times and keep talking like nothing happened.

Ever since the thought was planted inside of him, he tried his best to avoid it, but there was no way to do that without being a bad friend to Buck and he cared about him too deeply to do that. 

“Are you falling asleep on me?”

Eddie snaps back to reality, frowning. “No, of course not.”

Buck crosses his arms. “Okay, what was I just talking about?”

“This lady doth protest too much.” Eddie mumbles.

“Did you just quote Macbeth?”

Eddie smiles, and he can feel how crooked it is. “And if I did, then what?”

Buck lets out a whine. “I’m just so proud.”

Eddie shoves him, standing up. “Okay, well, I have to get going. The bell is going to ring and my cla—”

“Is on the other side of the school, I know.” Buck pushes himself up. “I’ll see you later, right? Are you still down to hang out tonight?”

Eddie nods. “If something comes up and I can’t make it, I’ll let you know.” Nothing is going to come up; except for maybe Eddie’s lunch.

karen <3

—

11:20am

i know you’re in class

and i’m in class

but i have a question for you anyways

shoot 

how did you know you were gay?

Eddie can feel his fingers trembling as he sends the text, and his heart beating against his rib cage as he watches Karen type, only for the bubbles to vanish. 

He was sitting in the back of class, vaguely listening to whatever his teacher was saying, but there was something nagging at him the entire time.

(Consistently texting Buck while he was in study hall and Eddie was bored out of his mind didn’t help the situation, either, but he was ignoring that.)

god i don’t really know. i feel like it’s always kind of been inside of me.

did something happen?

i mean, i know you’ve been kind of closed off when it’s come to this in relation to you.

i don’t know

it’s okay to not know, eddie

https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=bHFEG18JLjJ2nGya

might i suggest watching this when you have some time?

i think it might help <3

thanks, karen. i’ll look into it.

<3

Eddie slinks deeper into his seat, forcing himself to focus forward. However, unfortunately, he got of that train of thought quickly, his mind drifting elsewhere.

The thing about his possible sexuality crisis (which he doesn’t want to call it because he, Eddie Diaz, does not panic and having a crisis gives the implication that you panic), was that Eddie knew that he wasn’t homophobic in any way, shape or form. And it wasn’t just the logic of the fact that his best friend had a girlfriend, and had had a girlfriend since Thanksgiving.

It wasn’t the fact that he and Karen were sitting on the floor of her bedroom when she broke down crying and told him that she was a lesbian and he just held her. 

It was just that he knew it wasn’t a big deal.

Eddie didn’t really see the point of being homophobic to begin with. He had heard plenty of horror stories of people coming out and their loved ones reacting negatively, and that just didn’t make sense to him.

If you’re son wants to kiss another man, Eddie would only see a problem with it if there was some kind of weird age gap. The act of it wasn’t weird.

It wasn’t something to be sinned for.

It wasn’t something that needed to be cleansed.

He knew how his father felt about it all, Ramon had briefly met Karen during Eddie’s freshman year, and he immediately asked Eddie if she was his girlfriend. When he explained that she didn’t like men in that way, Ramon furrowed his eyebrows, declaring that she wasn’t allowed in his home anymore.

Eddie didn’t think that whatever was inside of him was something to be ashamed of.

That wasn’t the thing that made him feel weak in the knees. 

The thing that made him feel weak in the knees was the fact that he hadn’t been expecting this. Eddie had lived peacefully thinking that if he was going to have some kind of awakening of this variety it would have happened already.

He would have locked eyes with a pretty man in the hallway… his knees would buckle… he would go home and think about lying in bed with him… and he could take one of those quizzes online on the computer.

That didn’t happen, though.

What did happen, was he saw Buck in the bathroom, with his curls, his birthmark shining in the sunlight and the blink and you’d miss it blush rising to his cheeks when Eddie asked him why he was taking to him. 

Whatever Eddie was feeling, it was deeper than anything he had felt for any person before.

And that was what scared him most of all.

buck !!

—

12:14pm

are we meeting at our usual spot later?

how do you know nothing is going to come up?

because hen has plans w/karen and you don’t talk to anyone else

i hate when you’re right

no, you don’t

so, usual spot?

usual spot :)

Buck is acting weird.

And not his normal info-dumping about what he learned in his classes weird. It was a different kind of weird that Eddie had never seen. 

Eddie, as planned, met him outside.

Buck wordlessly took Eddie’s backpack, put it in the backseat of his jeep and Eddie piled into the passenger seat, as always. He doesn’t say anything, and just gets into the car, pulls out of the parking lot and drives the duo to his house.

Eventually, after what feels like a lifetime, Buck stops. 

Eddie is frozen in place, his eyes glued onto Buck, who is still sitting in the driver seat, his eyes facing forward, zeroed-in on nothing. There was nothing in front of them except for his garage door, which wasn’t anything exceptional. His hands are tightly gripped on the steering wheel and a Fall Out Boy song is quietly echoing from the speakers.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks, chewing at his lip.

Buck exhales. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking.”

Eddie resists the urge to roll his eyes. “Thinking about… come on man, we’re friends. What could possibly be on your mind that you didn’t sing on the entire drive?”

For a moment, Eddie thinks he did something wrong.

The way Buck’s grip visibly loosens and his shoulders relax, his gaze shifting over to Eddie with a soft but weak smile on his lips. There is red lining his eyes as well, and Eddie wants nothing more than to reach across and take everything that has ever caused him pain off of his shoulders.

“Okay… I just…”

Eddie turns to him. “Buck, I promise that whatever it is that has consumed you like this, I’m not going anywhere. You’re my friend, Buck.”

Buck inhales shakily. “I know that.”

“You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.”

“No, I want to!” Buck insists. “I just haven’t really gotten a chance to tell anyone the way that I wanted to tell them.”

Eddie nods, bracing himself for something.

He isn’t sure what, but the way that Buck is talking gives him the impression that something is wrong. Like he’s about to admit to a murder, or something unforgivable.

“I’m bisexual.”

The words float there between the two of them. 

Eddie just stares at him, and Buck’s eyes are starting to water again, with more tears threatening to fall. Buck sniffles, his hands shaking, still holding the wheel. 

Eventually Eddie sucks in a breath and clicks his seatbelt free and walks around the back of the jeep, opening Buck’s door.

“What are you doing?”

Eddie simply rolls his eyes and leans over Buck’s lap to unclick his seatbelt. Buck lets out a sound of distaste and confusion, but Eddie pulls him out of the drivers seat, pulling him into a hug.

Eddie nuzzles his nose in Buck’s shoulder, holding him tight.

“Eddie. My coming out to you does not change the fact that I need to breathe—” Eddie doesn’t say anything and just holds him tighter.

Eddie sighs, leaning away from the hug, smiling at him. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Buck.”

Buck smiles weakly, rubbing his eyes without breaking eye contact with Eddie. “Thank you, I think? I just… I don’t know, I’ve been meaning to tell you for ages, I just didn’t know how.”

“Well not saying anything an entire car ride…”

Buck rolls his eyes, ducking his head. “Not my shining moment!”

“You didn’t even sing ‘Heaven, Iowa’!”

“I know I didn’t!” Buck exclaims, sighing. “Trust me, it pained me more than it pained you! I was just so in my head about the whole thing that I couldn’t.”

“Why were you in your head?” Eddie asks him quietly, rubbing Buck’s arm. “You can’t possibly have thought that I was going to react negatively.” 

Buck frowns. “No, of course not. But you never know.”

Eddie smiles, wrapping his arms around Buck, leading him toward his house. “Come on, we have Hamlet to watch, don’t we?”

“Don’t we have stuff to study for?”

“Most likely, yes. But I’d much rather listen to you talk about Hamlet and watch Andrew Scott than study any day.” Eddie responds. “Plus, I don’t think you’re in the right head place to properly study.”

Buck smiles. “What would I do without you?”

“I don’t know, Buckley.”

Buck had gotten into a routine. 

Football season was over, so most of his weekdays were free after school, and he spent most of those days with Eddie. They would study together or occasionally just talk, and Buck found comfort in it all.

However, there was the occasional day that Eddie was busy.

Buck knew that the latter’s life didn’t revolve around him, but getting a text saying he couldn’t make it was always something Buck hated. He appreciated Eddie telling him, of course, but all it meant was that Buck had to go home alone.

Sure, Maddie was home most of the time, but the newspaper had been keeping her more often outside of the pre determined time, and while she was always apologetic when she told him that, he didn’t like it regardless.

It was a cold day in March when it happened.

Maddie had texted saying she had ‘plans’ after school and wasn’t going to be back until late, and Eddie had said the same. The two of them both had plans, so Buck got into his jeep, but his backpack on Eddie’s the passenger seat and he drove as slow as he could without breaking any laws.

Eventually, he rolls up to his house and exhales.

The garage door was open, putting his dad’s car on full display. 

There was no sign that the elder man was going to be leaving any time soon as the lights were off and Buck couldn’t hear the faint purr of the engine.

(Buck had tried taking the car to the mechanic his freshman year because the purr was bothersome to his brain, but his father found out and insisted that the car always made that sound. When Buck explained that cars that worked didn’t make that sound, Phillip ended up not talking to him for a week and taking his phone for the same amount of time.)

Buck closes his eyes slowly and gets out of the jeep, making sure he had parked straight enough that his parents wouldn’t have a problem with it. 

The house was eerily quiet, most likely because Buck was the main source of noise in the Buckley house. If he was home, he was going to be playing his music full volume in his room.

The tactic started as a way to drown out his parents yelling and fighting and had become something that he did because it was the easiest way to calm his brain when everything was too loud.

Buck walks into the front door to find his mom, Margaret, sitting on her chair in the corner by a lamp, her face lit only but its orange hue. She was nose deep in a book, and while Buck couldn’t see the title, he imagined it was another one of her true crime novels that she had a weird obsession with.

“You should come home more often!” That was his dad’s voice coming from down the hall. Buck shakes his head, slips off his shoes and walks to find him standing with… oh.

Suddenly Margaret peacefully existing in the living room made perfect sense. She was always on her best behavior when Daniel was home.

It wasn’t often that he came home from college, and he was in high school, he was quite sociable. He was highly involved in student council as well as the star player of the football team.

(Buck had never been so grateful to not be recognized by his coach when he tried out.)

“I know dad.” Daniel responds. “I’ve just been really busy.”

Buck clears his throat. “Hi Daniel.” he says, ignoring his dad.

Daniel turns to face him, his face breaking into a wide smile. “Evan!” he turns away from Phillip, wrapping Buck in a hug. “How have you been!”

“I’ve been good.” Buck responds, hugging him. “How are you? Are you the big man on campus yet?”

His brother laughs, separating him from the hug. “No, no. I am, however, the big man on my dorm floor!” he exclaims. “Remind me to tell you about—”

“Daniel.” Phillip says, his voice raising slightly. “You should be setting a good example for Evan, not teaching him about your galavanting.” 

Buck sighs.

Since Daniel was the picture-perfect child who never did anything wrong in high school, Phillip often pointed to him as a perfect role model for Buck.

The ideal version of what Buck could become.

Looking at the man in front of him, though, with the visible bags under his eyes and the way he was holding himself to be perfectly straight, Buck didn’t want that.

Daniel looked tired, like everything was catching up to him.

“I don’t galavant, dad.” Daniel replies through gritted teeth.

Buck smiles, hitting him on the shoulder. “And if you did, that would be a-okay with me!” Buck says, praying that his beyond stupid claim could take some attention away from him.

Phillip turns to him, eyes wide. “Evan. You should know better than to talk back to authority. You do remember what happened with Ja—”

“Dad.” Daniel says sternly. “Don’t.”

His father rolls his eyes. “Why not?”

“Because.” he says, his voice firm.  

Buck feels his bones shaking beneath his skin, his eyes stuck on the wall behind his father’s shoulder. There were few rules in the Buckley household, but one of them that Buck loved Maddie and Daniel for setting up was that nobody mentioned him by name. The fact that Phillip was so comfortable with reminding Buck of that left a chill running down his spine and a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“...It was not his fault!” Daniel’s saying, eyes fiery. “Evan was thirteen, and he was a grown man! A grown man who should have known better than to do that!”

Buck wants to throw up, feeling his hands shake and his heart beating against his ribs, he wanted nothing more than to disappear. He spares a glance at Daniel, mouths a thank you and walks away, slamming his bedroom door. 

He imagines that Margaret had thoughts about his actions, but he tucks himself on the floor between his bookshelf and the wall, which wasn’t a safe or comfortable place to be, but he brings his knees up his chin and breaks.

With a shaky hand, he pulls out his phone, desperate to talk to someone.

Maddie was busy and he didn’t want to bother her with a conversation the two of them had plenty of times. Instead, his fingers hovers Eddie’s name, hesitantly texting him.

eddie :D 

—

4:54pm

hey

hey buck :) 

sorry about having to cancel, smth came up

it’s all good !! it was a good day to not come to the buckley house anyways

why?

brother is here

dad is being difficult

is he being difficult because of brother or is that just a part of the lore?

he just said something that he shouldn’t have

to your brother?

to me.

god buck i’m so sorry

would they care if you came to my house?

isn’t your dad home?

no, he’s on a business trip

not as long as the last one but still

i don’t think they’d care, no

well then it’s settled

pack your bag, come to my place

you really don’t have to do that

i know i don’t, but that’s what friends are for.

The GPS says it’s a ten minute drive from Buck’s house to Eddie’s.

Buck makes it there in five.

He stumbles out of the jeep with his backpack slung over his shoulder and opens the door, stopping in the entryway to breathe. “Eddie!”

A second passes before Eddie comes around the corner wearing red and black pajama pants and a gray high school crewneck that Buck had seen plenty of times. “Buck.” he says easily, grabbing a hold of him. “Are you okay?”

Buck lets out a sigh, hugging him tightly. “Not really.”

He can feel Eddie frown against him. “Did anyone say anything while you were leaving?” Eddie says, releasing Buck from his grasp.

“Daniel did. Nothing bad, though.” Eddie’s eyebrows furrow and he purses his lips. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing, I just didn’t realize you two talked.”

And, okay.

Huh?

Sure, Buck didn’t talk about Daniel often, but he never meant to give anyone the impression that he didn’t talk to his own brother.

“What do you mean?”

Eddie shrugs. “You just don’t talk about him, I thought there was some bad blood between the two of you.”

“No, no bad blood.” Buck responds. “My parents just…” he pauses, watching Eddie’s every movement. Eddie’s eyes are following his own as he ducks his head, and he feels his heart rate increase at the eye contact. “they just compare me to him.”

“But you’re not him.”

“I know I’m not. Nobody else seems to grasp the concept.” Buck says, his voice shaking. “He was a football player, right? He scored the winning goal for almost every game he played and then he went and got a football scholarship! And he’s not even trying to be a professional football player. But because he was so successful, that automatically means I have to be the same.”

Eddie sighs. “I’m sorry Buck.”

Buck just shrugs. “It’s fine. I’m used to it, and it’s probably not going to change anytime soon. He’ll always be the perfect son and I’ll always be me.”

“What about Maddie? I mean, she’s in between you guys, right? Does she get the same treatment from them that you do?”

“No.”

What he wants to say is that Maddie didn’t get abused when she was thirteen at the hands a grown man who was supposed to be a trusted adult, but he doesn’t. He couldn’t bare for Eddie to look at him with a pitiful expression, the same look that Maddie gave him whenever he mentioned it offhand.

He knows that Maddie fought her own battles just to get where she was and just because Buck had a bad experience when he was younger, that doesn’t mean that Maddie’s life has been picture perfect.

Eddie exhales, frowning. “Well, you’re here now.”

“I’m here now.” Buck responds, yawning.

“Come on, I’ll show you to where you’ll be sleeping.” Buck nods, following Eddie’s lead. “I set up an air mattress in my room if that’s okay with you. We technically have a room that’s not being used but it’s Adriana’s and I think she’d flip if she came home from school and found out a boy slept in her bed.”

“An air mattress is fine, thank you, Eddie.”

Eddie smiles, opening his bedroom door. 

Buck looks around, his eyes falling onto the mattress. “You really didn’t have to go to all this trouble just for me, you know that, right?”

“It’s no trouble at all. Besides, you’re my friend.”  

(And if Buck gets the best night sleep he had in weeks all while sleeping on the floor of his best friends room, then he does.)

JUNIOR YEAR, FALL

The summer between Eddie Diaz’s sophomore and junior brought a lot.

It was the first time in a few years that Ramon was actually there for the summer, and every time Eddie came out of his room, he felt eyes on him. Eyes threatening to ask him why he was spending his summer laying around rather than getting a job to pay for college and his future. A conversation that Eddie had braced himself for since he was fourteen years old.

There was the fact that Karen officially had a girlfriend, the two had gotten together in April, and she was spending most of her time with Hen. Eddie didn’t mind, and the two of them did invite him on a few outings with them, which he always appreciated. The dynamic could have been weird but Hen reminded him so much of Buck that he found himself comfortable with her.

And, the elephant in the room had been more or less solved.

Eddie spent a solid week in June (while his father was away, his mother was spending time with her mother, Sophia was staying with her friends and Adriana was at school working an internship) watching every coming out video on YouTube he could find.

There were some that made him tear up, especially the ones where the creator got open and personal about everything that happened that brought them to the conclusion of coming out as well as their sexuality. There was one where the man had been online for years at that point and while people spent time speculating, he didn’t say anything until years later. 

Even though Eddie hadn’t been a fan and wasn’t aware of his existence or what he had been through, he found himself wiping his eyes with unfallen tears. 

The point was, Eddie was semi-confident that he was a gay man.

The realization itself wasn’t anything huge, but it was the fact that he would most likely be expected to come out to someone.

He hadn’t said it outloud to anyone except for himself, standing in front of his floor length mirror with tears streaming down his face. He had been listening to music and thinking about Buck, and something about those two things put together made Eddie want to break down sobbing.

So that’s exactly what he did.

The point was.

He was comfortable with the label, he called himself a gay man a few times in a whisper, and while new, he found himself leaning into what that meant.

It was the first day of school when he gathered the courage to talk to Karen.

He knew that despite being in a relationship, she would still carve out time to be there for him, so he marches right up to her when he arrives at school, lightly tugged her on the shoulder and led her to a picnic secluded from everyone else.

“Jeez Eddie!” she says, sitting down. “What’s going on? You could have dislocated my shoulder doing that!”

Eddie rolls his eyes, sitting down across from her. “If I tell you something, do you promise to not look at me any differently?”

Karen stares at him.

“You’re my best friend, Eddie.”

He breathes in, squeezing his eyes shut.

I’m gay.

He opens his eyes.

“Was I supposed to hear something?”

He rolls his eyes, shutting them again.

“I’m gay.”

Okay that worked! He felt his vocal chords rub together, and the way that his tongue moved back into it’s resting place and his teeth went back to chewing the inside of his lip.

A moment passes, his eyes still squeezed shut. 

“Karen if you left after I told you that I swear!”

He hears a sound come from across him, and he lets out a steady breath knowing that he wasn’t alone. Slowly, he opens his eyes to be greeted with Karen, who’s close to crying. Once she sees that his eyes are open, she lunges forward, wrapping him in a hug.

“Please don’t break my ribs!” Eddie manages. “I still need to breathe!”

Karen leans away from, wiping tears away. “Eddie.” she says softly. “How long…” she raises her hands to his cheeks, holding him like he’s a piece of China that could shatter if held wrong. “How long have you known?”

“Officially? Since June.” he replies. He could feel his bones vibrating threatening to jump out of his skin, but he pushes forward. “Not officially? December.”

“December.” she echoes, not letting go. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.” he tells her, letting tears freely fall knowing she would clean them off him. “I wanted to tell you, I just… I don’t know. I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to tell you over text, it felt too big, and I couldn’t tell you with Hen there because she’s friends with Buck and that would just cause… problems.”

Karen looks at him, and he watches as her expression changes from ‘my friend just came out to me I have to be really supportive’ to ‘my friend just alluded to the inability to tell his best friend about something what does this mean’.

“What are you talking about?”

Eddie lets out a breath. “What do you mean?”

“How would Buck finding out cause problems?” Karen asks. “You don’t think he’s homophobic, do you? I mean, he’s friends with Hen.”

“I just…” Eddie sighs. “I think I like him.”

Karen purses his lips and drops her jaw. “Is this supposed to be surprising?”

“It was a surprise to me.”

“Eddie, know that I love you when I say this.” Karen tells him. “But the way that you talk about him, I’d be surprised if he doesn’t know that you like him.”

“He does not know.”

Karen sighs. “If you say… hey isn’t that him?”

Eddie turns around, his eyes easily finding Buck’s curls in the crowd of people loitering outside of the building. His eyes lock onto Buck and he feels his heart race.

Truthfully, he hadn’t seen him in a few weeks because Buck had to do some stuff for football over the summer. Eddie understood, but he didn’t expect to find him standing in a crowd of people smiling and talking before the two of them had a chance to talk.

His curls are falling on his forehead, and his hair looks a little shorter than he had seen him, but the thing that his eyes are stuck on is a pin.

It’s comfortably pinned onto his shirt, and while Buck had never worn a pin before, it was the content of the pin that Eddie was focused on. Resting there was a simple bisexual pride pin.

It was shining in the early morning sun, and there were people on the football team talking to him, none of them visibly mad or upset with the update to the wardrobe.

Eddie leans forward slightly, his eyes permanently glued onto him.

The thing about Buck other than how good of a friend he was and how much Eddie cared about him was he was beautiful. Even on his bad days where he ‘couldn’t be bothered’ to put effort into his outfit, there was still something captivating about him. The way he held himself when he was around people he was comfortable with was completely different from the way he held himself with Eddie, but he looked natural in every environment he was in.

After a moment of staring, Eddie blinks.

“What are you looking at?” 

And oh. Buck was standing above him, blocking the sun from Eddie’s eyes. If he wasn’t already down bad for him, God he would be on his knees for the man in front of him.

“I was looking at you.” Eddie answers without thinking. “Not in a weird way!”

Buck smiles, sitting next to him. “Aw, you were?”

“Yeah.” he responds, breathless. “Don’t let it get to your head.”

Karen clears her throat. “Hi, Buck.” she says. “I like the pin. It suits you.”

“Oh, thanks.” he says bashfully. “It’s new.”

Eddie smiles. “Did you tell your parents?”

Buck shakes his head. “I didn’t. I told Daniel when he was home for his break, and he and Maddie took it upon themselves to buy something subtle pride for me I could wear.”

“It looks good.” Eddie tells him softly. 

You look good.

“Thank you, I think so too.”

There is a bisexual pride flag resting on Buck.

There is a bisexual pride flag resting on Buck.

There is a bisexual pride flag resting on Buck and no one gives a shit.

Sure, he had gotten comments from Eddie and he got a thumbs up from Hen when he ran into her outside of the locker room, but those were things he had been more or less expecting. 

He, Evan Buckley, was standing in the men’s locker room at a public high school getting changed for football practice and nobody was batting an eye at the pin he had been wearing moments before. 

“Hey Buckley.” a voice says, pulling him out of a trance he didn’t realize he had fallen into. Buck turns his attention to Bobby, who’s standing by his office with his arms crossed. “Can I talk to you about something really quick?”

“I’m not in trouble, am I?”

Bobby shakes his head. “No, you’re not. I just need to talk to you.” Buck vaguely hears a ‘ooooh’ from Chimney and Albert, but he walks over to Bobby’s office regardless, and if he flips them off behind his back then he does.

“So, what’s up?” 

Bobby gestures to a chair in front of his desk. “You can breathe, Buck.” he says. “Nothing is wrong.”

“I… okay, now I know nothing is wrong.” Buck rolls his eyes and sits down, crossing his legs. “So, um, how was your summer?”

“Oh you know, same old same old.”

Buck nods. “So… what’s this about?”

Bobby inhales. “So, you know Kinard is graduating in May.” Buck nods. “I was wondering… hoping I suppose, that you would consider become captain next year.”

“What?” Buck and leadership weren’t two words that ever belonged in a sentence together, so to hear Bobby say them with such ease shook him. “I mean, I didn’t exactly do anything worthwhile last season. Did you ask Albert? He’s way more… leadership material than me!”

“I considered it. But I think you would be a better fit.” Buck stares at him. “And as far as you ‘not doing anything worthwhile last season’ as you put it, that’s not true. You were recovering from a season on the bench and an injury that could have and should have ended your football career. Even during that time, you were still being a good teammate. You still learned new plays, you still taught Albert as well as Kevin outside of practice despite your injuries.” Buck winces. “Don’t think I didn’t know about that. Just because you weren’t playing, you were still a star player for the team, and that’s what they need as a replacement captain.” 

Buck leans backwards in his chair, nodding slowly. “I… do I have to make a decision right now? I mean, I could get into another life threatening accident…”

“You can think about it, Buck.” Bobby interrupts, waving a hand. “I know it’s a big ask.”

He nods. “I’ll definitely think about it.”

“Good. I really do think you’d be a good fit for the team.” Buck stands, stretching and cracking his neck. “Oh, and Buck, I did notice the pin you were wearing, by the way.”

Buck stares at him. “Oh? That’s… that’s not a problem, is it?”

Bobby shakes his head without missing a beat. “Of course not.” he responds. “If anyone on the team gives you a hard time about it, you just send them to me. I promise I’m not as old-fashioned as I look.”

“I can’t imagine any of them will be difficult.”

“No, I can’t either.” Bobby says, standing. “If they were difficult Hen, she would have already informed me and they’d already be gone.”

Buck nods. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being supportive.” Buck replies easily. “I just… I appreciate it.”

Bobby smiles. “Of course, kid.”

“Do you remember when you came out to me?” Eddie asks while playing with his pencil.

Buck looks up at him from his position on the floor.

The two of them are in Buck’s room working. Buck has been trying to make his chemistry assignment make sense for fifteen minutes and Eddie had been furiously typing away on what Buck assumed was an essay. 

“Yeah, of course.”

Eddie breathes out. “Was telling me scary?”

Buck purses his lips. Telling anyone was always going to be a little scary, but telling Eddie felt so right. Sure, he had been a little in his head about his reaction, but actually telling him wasn’t hard.

“Not really.” Buck admits. “But that’s because it’s you.”

Eddie smiles. “Yeah.”

Buck watches him.

He’s still sitting there, in the same position. His legs haven’t moved an inch, neither have his fingers. 

“Can I talk to you about something?” Buck nods immediately despite Eddie’s words not really sinking in. “Eager are you?”

Buck shakes his head. “Of course not. So, what’s up?”

For a terrifying moment, Eddie doesn’t say anything.

He moves, though.

He turns his body so he’s facing Buck, his eyes glued onto Buck’s. He comfortably smiles at him, trying his best to be a comfort.

A comfort for what, Buck didn’t really know. 

He just knew that Eddie looked serious, and Buck felt like he had to have the same level of energy.

“This is something that stays between you, me and Karen, okay?” Eddie asks, pointing between them.

“You didn’t get someone pregnant, did you?” 

Eddie’s eyes widen, guilt taking over his face.

“Eddie!” Buck exclaims, slapping him on the knee. “You didn’t! You have to be kidding!”

Eddie shakes his head. “You’re right, I didn’t.”

Buck sighs. “God, okay. You can’t scare me like that.”

“Your face was priceless, I couldn’t not run with it!”

“Okay, so, if you didn’t get someone pregnant, then what’s going on?” Buck questions, inching forward.

“I’m…”

“Take your time.”

Eddie smiles. 

“I’m gay.”

Something shifts beneath Buck.

I’m gay.

I’m gay.

I’m gay.

Buck feels his eyes widen, and he forces them back into a regular position, filling them with softness instead. 

“Eddie.” he says slowly, wrapping his arms around him. “How… I’m… Nobody’s ever come out to me.”

“That’s what you’re focusing on?”

“No! I just mean, I don’t know what the right thing to say is, that’s all. I’m proud of you, though!”

Eddie hugs him back and Buck can feel his smile. “Couldn’t have done it without you, Buck.”

“Yeah I’m good like that.” A beat passes, the two of them just sitting in silence when Eddie sniffles, and it’s then that Buck registers the tears lining his eyes. “Eddie. Look at me.”

Eddie forces his eyes to move. “I just…”

“How long have you known?” Buck interrupts.

“Since June.”

“It’s only been a few months, then.”

Eddie nods. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Who have you told?”

“You, Karen and myself.”

Buck leans into Eddie. “So this is new new.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s okay.” Buck insists. “Breathe with me, please? It might help you relax.”

Eddie nods shakily, trying his best to follow Buck’s breathing pattern. 

After a few minutes, Buck leans forward, hugging him again. “You’re okay, Eddie. I can’t imagine it’s been easy on you, but you’re okay. You have to hear me when I say this. You, Eddie Diaz, are okay.”

“I just wish it didn’t feel like this big of a deal.”

Buck sighs. “Yeah, me too.” he admits quietly. “Hey, at least you know I’m always in your corner no matter what happens.”

Eddie rubs his temple and wipes his eyes slowly. “I know I do.”

“I’ve got your back, Eds.”

And Buck lets a voice inside of him win; he leans over a little bit and plants a kiss in Eddie’s hair. Eddie, thankfully, doesn’t say anything and just sits there, accepting it.

“I’ve got your back, too.” Eddie says. “Just in case you thought I didn’t.”

Falling for Eddie was something that Buck never saw coming.

Sure, on the outside he had a macho-man football-player one-hundred percent heterosexual vibe going on, but he always knew that wasn’t apart of him. When he saw Eddie for the first time, it felt like a large part of himself, albeit a part he already accepted, was sky-rocketed to new heights.

Like suddenly him being into men wasn’t as life changing as he thought it was. It was just something that could happen and he could just be.  

Right now, staring into Eddie’s eyes, with the memory of “I’m gay” floating out of his mouth, Buck felt himself falling harder. The way that he took comfort in every minor thing that he did. Even things that he didn’t realize he was doing.

There was a thing that Eddie did when he got nervous, especially when it was just the two of them spending time together.

Most people would start tapping their foot or fidgeting with their fingers, or something similar. Eddie, however, went dead silent. That dead silence was followed by Eddie saying song lyrics out loud, reading them like they were slam poetry.

While he didn’t memorize lyrics to the perfection that Buck did, the quirk became something he found comfort in. The way that Eddie’s voice would wrap around the words, and the words would float through the air, somehow better than when the real singer was saying them.

It was something sacred between the two of them.

When Eddie was nervous around anyone else, he would just shut down, his eyes fixated on whatever was in front of him. But when he was with Buck, it was like, he could be himself. And Buck was never happier to be someone’s safe space.

His thoughts, while loud on their own, was interrupted by Eddie yawning from next to him. He turns his attention to him, and he could see the exhaustion in his eyes. They were closing slowly, giving the impression that he was a cat slow-blinking out of affection.

“Go to sleep.”

Eddie blinks. “What? I’m at your house, I can’t…”

“Staying over isn’t an option, but you’re clearly exhausted.” Eddie frowns. “You sleeping on my bed won’t kill anyone. I promise I don’t have cooties.”

“I can’t…”

Buck sighs. “I’ll wake you up in forty-five minutes, okay?”

“Thank you, Buck. I… I appreciate it.”

He wordlessly gets up and walks over to Buck’s bed, collapsing head first with his arms sprawled out to the point that they’re almost falling off of the bed. His shoes, while still on, are resting outside of Buck’s blankets, which he wordlessly thanks him for.

Ramon Diaz was never the touchy-feely type. 

He dedicated a good portion of his life to working, especially after his successfully carried on the Diaz family name with his middle child. 

(There was a quote-on-quote joke between the Diaz siblings that Sophia was an accident, but the three of them never cared enough to figure out if there was any validity there.)

That being said, because of the way that Ramon raised Eddie, Eddie never saw himself coming out to his father. He already blew his top enough when Karen’s sexuality ‘got revealed’, and Eddie didn’t want his father to look at him like he was some alien living under his roof. Unfortunately, all things come to a head eventually, and Eddie’s sexuality got to that point on a Tuesday in November.

The Diaz family were sitting around the table, eating dinner, when Ramon clears his throat. 

Eddie, in that moment, felt like something was wrong. 

The fact that Ramon was eating with them was one thing, but the fact that he wasn’t nose-deep in the newspaper during said dinner brought Eddie a level of discomfort. 

“Something in your throat, dad?” Sophia quips between bites. 

The guacamole spoonful she had put on top of her taco is close to falling, but the younger Diaz seemed none the wiser.

Ramon turns to face her, and Eddie can see his lips curls into a smile. “Nothing that concerns you, Sophia.” he replies simply. And that must be— “It concerns you.” Oh.

He’s looking at Eddie.

Eddie, who is in the middle of bringing a spoon full of cilantro-lime rice to his mouth. He brings his spoon back down to his plate, frowning at the loss of food.

“Me?”

He nods. “I notice you don’t seem to bring any girls home.”

Eddie blinks. 

He wants to remind his father about how he was banned from bringing his best girl friend over, but he bites his tongue and just watches his father.

Ramon seems to be waiting for a response, so Eddie just nods.

“A boy your age… you should be starting to think about carrying on the Diaz genetics! It’s all on your shoulders.” he tells him. “On the off chance that your sisters end up having children, they won’t be true in the Diaz genes.”

The way he’s talking about Sophia as if she’s not sitting next to Eddie stuffing her face with a taco made him want to throw something at his father.

“Alright…?” Eddie manages. “So, what? Do you want me to find a girlfriend?”

“No.”

Oh.

Okay, good.

Eddie breathes out, picking his spoon up once more. He brings it to his mouth, blissfully happy with the fact that the conversation didn’t—

“I found you a girl.”

Oh.

And Eddie starts choking. He can feel the rice slink its way down his throat, the taste lingering in him as he starts to cough to relieve himself.

“You did what?” he says through coughs. 

Even with Eddie’s sexuality and feelings for Buck aside, the fact that his father would try and play matchmaker made Eddie feel sick to his stomach.

(Although that could be the rice he had choked on.)

“Her name is Shannon.” Ramon says easily. “She’s a year younger than you, and she’s good, Eddie. She’s a good student, she attends a private school a twenty minute drive from here. Your mother and I,” he continues, turning to his wife. “were even considering sending you there. That way, the two of you can spend more time together going forward.”

Shannon.

The world, Ramon’s ideal world, flashes.

The two of them dating, high school sweethearts who survive the inevitable distance when Eddie goes to college while she’s just a senior. Getting engaged, settling down in the same place where Eddie was born and raised, and raising a family together.

A family that Eddie didn’t want.

Sure, the idea of being a father was something he held close. A dream that he had ever since he practically raised Sophia himself.

But if he was to be a dad, he didn’t want to be like Ramon.

He wanted to be the kind of father that he always wanted, and Eddie knew that in order to do that, he had to have a good partner by his side.

And whoever Shannon was, while probably great, wasn’t the partner he wanted.

He wanted Buck.

He wanted to wake up every day with Buck by his side, raising a family with the first (and only) football player to not be an asshole just because he wore that damn letterman jacket.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Eddie says without thinking.

Ramon turns to him, his eyes fiery. “Excuse me?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Sophia tugs on his arm, her eyes full of concern. Eddie had come out to her a few weeks prior when he dressed up as David Bowie for Halloween, and the two agreed that coming out to their parents wasn’t an option for him.

“And why is that?” Ramon asks through his teeth.

God, Eddie hadn’t thought this far ahead.

He spares a glance at Sophia and inhales.

“Because I don’t like women.” he says. “Like that. In that way. I’m… I’m gay, dad. And it wouldn’t be fair for me to date this woman if there isn’t a chance I—”

“All the more reason to date her!”

“No.” Eddie says, firmly. “I’m not running her life because I’m in love with someone else! It’s not fair to her! You said it yourself, she’s a promising young woman! Let her choose her own other half! Let her decide who she wants to be with!”

Ramon stares at him.

Helena tries to get a word in, but her husband moves too fast. 

He stands up, grabs Eddie by the neck of his sweatshirt and throws him up from the table, Eddie banging into the edge of the wooden table with a bang.

For a moment, Eddie considers his options.

Before he has a chance to enact anything, Ramon—

Slap.

Straight across Eddie’s face.

He turns his head to the side and faces the floor, his eyes wide. He stays there, frozen. Ramon, still towering above him, moves. 

Eddie feels it in his feet.

His father picks him up again, holding him an inch off the ground.

“No son of mine is going to be a fa—”

For a moment, Eddie feels the blood rush to his head, but he’s out cold hitting the floor before he can say anything to his father.

(Not that he had anything intelligent to say.)

Buck was having a night when Sophia texted him.

His mother had been out for the evening, but his father had been home, barging around the house and finding something wrong in everything he did. The only reason he had gotten Sophia’s text and answered it so quickly was because he was doom-scrolling to avoid everything and anything that was going on inside his house.

sophia 🫶🏻

—

7:45pm

hey buck i’m so sorry to text you like this

but are you busy rn?

no i’m not, not really

what’s going on?

can you come get eddie and me please?

And that was enough to get Buck’s attention, snapping him back to reality.

He feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up as he slips on his shoes before remembering to reply to her.

i’m leaving right now

where are you guys?

did something happen??

we’re at home.

i’ll explain when you get here

just hurry please

i’m on my way

do you need anything else?

just hurry

and thank you buck

Buck clicks off his phone and runs through his house, ignoring his fathers ramblings to Maddie. He barrels out of his house and tosses his phone in the passenger seat of his jeep, and motors. He wasn’t sure what could have possibly happened that Sophia had to text him about Eddie, but he shakes it off and moves at fast as his jeep can take him.

Eventually, he arrives at the Diaz house.

His eyes find Sophia immediately.

She’s outside, sitting on the porch, with… Eddie in her arms. From what Buck can see, which isn’t much, his eyes are closed as he’s breathing heavily like his life depends on it.

He parks the car, gets out and runs.

“Buck!” Sophia whisper-shouts. “Thank God.”

He stops and drops to his knees. “Sophia.” he searches her eyes, immediately finding tears lining her dark brown eyes. “What happened? Is he okay?”

Sophia frowns. “You… you know he’s gay, right?” Buck nods. “Our father… he told Eddie that he found this girl for him to date. Eddie, as expected, lost it. He told him he couldn’t date her, and came out to him. Our father…”

Buck turns his attention to Eddie, finally noticing how pale he is and the fresh bruise on his cheek.

“Thank you for calling me.” Buck says simply. He wants to say something more, but he can’t think of anything more that would matter. “Where is your father? Is he still here?”

Sophia shakes her head. “ Buck. Don’t.”

“I’m not going to do anything.”

“I just need help and a place to sleep tonight.” Sophia tells him. “I know it’s… difficult at your house sometimes, but… I didn’t know who else to call.”

Buck nods. “It’s fine. I’m glad you called me.” He stands up. “Here, get him into my truck, okay? I’ll text my dad just to be safe, but I’m not letting anything happen to my favorite Diaz’s.”

Sophia smiles softly at him, loading her brother into the jeep.

Dad

—

7:56pm

Hey Dad. I just thought I’d let you know that I’m bringing my friend and his sister home. Something happened and they need somewhere to stay for the night.

On the drive, Eddie blinks, groaning as he stirs.

“Hey, bud.” Buck says quietly.

Sophia is sitting in the backseat and she had started snoring the minute the three of them were successfully moving. Buck figured it would be best to drive them around a little bit to waste time and give Eddie time to come back to life.

Eddie sitting in the passenger seat, his head secured.

“Buck?” he questions, voice rough. “What… wh…”

“Don’t strain yourself.”

He turns to face Buck. “What are you doing here? Why am I… what happened?”

Buck sighs. “How much do you remember?”

“I…”

“It’s okay.” 

Eddie sighs, raising a hand to his cheek. “What are you doing here?” he asks again, slumping in his seat. Buck doesn’t want to respond, but it’s the only thing Eddie seems to care about. Like Buck showing up was the most outlandish thing to ever happen.

“Sophia called me.” Buck tells him slowly.

“What… how much did she tell you?”

“Enough.”

Eddie groans. “God, I didn’t… I didn’t want to tell him!”

“I know you didn’t.”

“I mean, the fact that I barely talk to the guy aside, he doesn’t, I don’t know. I knew it wasn’t safe for me to tell him.” Eddie sniffles. “I just didn’t think he would ever…”

Buck frowns. “I know.”

“And now he knows.”

“He knows.”

“He knows I don’t…”

“He knows.” Buck repeats. “And you know that I’m not going anywhere, right? I mean, you can’t get rid of me if you tried.”

“I know.” Eddie says slowly. “Thank you.”

Buck smiles. “And you’re always welcome at the Buckley residence.” he tells him. “I don’t know how much of a comfort that is, but…”

“Thank you.”

Buck leans into the seat. “Take a breath, Eddie. You’re safe. I’m not letting anything happen to you, okay? We can discuss what to do tomorrow.”

Eddie nods. “Yeah, tomorrow.”

And, God, Buck just falls harder.

JUNIOR YEAR, SPRING

“No, Karen.” Eddie says, slamming his locker shut. She dramatically leans against the row of lockers next to him, huffing out a breath. “Listen, I love Hen and from what Buck has said about Chimney and Kevin, they’re nice, I just…”

“If you say you hate parties again.”

The thing was.

If Eddie agreed to go to the get-together Hen was planning, he would have to spend a lot of one-on-one time with Buck. Which, on its own, didn’t seem like that big of a deal. The two of them were friends, and they spent plenty of time just hanging out. 

However, there was something weird between the two of them now.

Ever since Eddie’s accidental coming out to his father was felt like a lifetime ago, Eddie really did spend most nights sleeping at Buck’s. There was the occasional side eye from his parents, but both Buck and Maddie were persistent in letting Eddie stay. The two of them were close. Closer than Eddie ever saw himself getting with Buck.

The weird thing, though, was the look Buck gave him when he thought he wasn’t looking.

Eddie caught a glimpse of it a few times, and every time it happened, he felt a chill go down his spine. The way that Buck was looking at him with such care and concern, it felt like it was a look and a smile reserved only for him.

Spending time with Buck in a group setting would just open the doors for his friends to notice the look, and he didn’t want to have to explain it to them.

Plus, there was the fact that he hated parties.

But that was neither here nor there.

“I’m sorry, Karen.”

“Is he still being difficult?”

“I told you he wasn’t going to change his mind!” 

Eddie turns around to find Buck and Hen making their way to the duo, Hen smiling at the sight of her girlfriend. “Come on Eddie… don’t you want to meet all the football guys?”

He winces. “I already know the best football guy.”

Buck groans. “Thank you, Eddie. But I’m not going without you and I already told Maddie that I would be there! You can’t let me down like that. Who will be our designated driver?”

“Maddie.” Eddie quips. “And you know it.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re still being hard about this!”

“Sophia I hardly see how this involves you.” he says without turning around. “You’re not even invited, what does it matter to you if I go?”

His sister frowns. “Oh, it doesn’t.”

“Ignoring you now.”

“Eddie, come on, please.” Buck begs, eyes wide. “Maddie being the designated driver aside, I want you there! Plus, I think Chimney is introducing us to his girlfriend. You can’t miss that!”

“I actually can.” he rebuttals. “Especially because I haven’t met Chimney, therefore, whoever he’s dating does not affect me nor does it affect my life.”

Buck frowns, leaning against the lockers next to Eddie. “Just, consider it, okay? Come on! I can info-dump to you while drunk. What’s better than that!”

“You info-dumping while not being drunk.”

“No, but seriously, just consider it, okay?” Hen asks, leaning forward. “Obviously at the end of the day it’s your choice. I just think it would be good for you.”

Good for you.

As if Eddie’s some broken thing because his father had more or less disowned him because of something he couldn’t stop if he tried.

(And God, did he try.)

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

Buck squeals. “Alright! Put him down for a yes, okay, Hen? He’ll be there even if I have to drag him there kicking and screaming!”

Eddie exhales. “Please don’t drag me.”

“Why not?”

“Because.”

“Save that for the second date!” Hen suggests.

“In order to have a second date, they have to have…” Karen’s eyes fall to Eddie, and she starts hitting Hen on the shoulder. “Just… Eddie, let me know, okay?”

Eddie watches as Karen and Hen disappear down the hallway, their arms interlocked.

“What was that about?”

“I find it better to not ask.”

Buck purses his lips. “Serio—”

“I’ll consider, Buckley.”

Contrary to the classic high school stereotype, not all football players spent Fridays at a party with red-solo cups filled with a hot pink liquid that was almost bubbling over.

Sure, Buck could name plenty of people that he played the sport with that probably did , but he wasn’t one of those people. Most of his Friday nights were spent either rewatching movies from the eighties or finding a new nature documentary. He found pleasure and comfort in the familiarity of it all, and he appreciated the lack of change.

However, when Hen, Chimney, Kevin, and Maddie came to him and said they were hosting a get-together as a early send off to the seniors that were graduating, he felt obligated to go. Plus, there was the fact that Chimney was revealing his girlfriend there, and Buck was not missing that.

So, the Friday rolled around and Buck was getting ready in the bathroom. He was in the middle of parting his hair while tucking in his shirt when there is a knock at the door. 

“You could just come in, Eddie,” he says.

A beat passes.

“It’s not Eddie.”

And Buck nearly chokes. He clicks open the bathroom door and practically throws himself on Daniel.

“What are you doing here!”

Daniel rolls his eyes. “I have a break from school.” he responds, holding him tighter. “Plus, I heard from the grapevine that you’re going to a party!”

Buck sighs. “I told Maddie not to tell you.”

“I could have more than one grapevine.”

Buck leans away from him, turning back to the mirror. “You don’t though.” he tells him easily. “Mom and Dad don’t know about it, so you couldn’t have heard it from them…”

“They don’t?”

“Please don’t lecture me.” he says slowly. “I just, I don’t want to hear it from them about me going to one party with my friends.”

“And Eddie.”

“Eddie is my friend, yes.”

Daniel sighs, raising his eyebrow. “Friend.”

Buck leans on the counter, groaning. “Yep.”

“If you say so.”

The two Buckley’s sit there in silence for a few moments before Buck spares a proper glance at Daniel for the first time since he came into the bathroom.

He looks visibly... better. 

There’s a shine in his eyes, and the bags beneath them have more or less disappeared. He’s not holding himself the way that Buck had gotten used to seeing him to it, rather, he looked relaxed.

There was a soft smile on his lips and Buck smiles at the sight of it.

“Did something happen that you’re not telling me?”

Daniel blinks. “What?” 

“You heard me.” he says quietly. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing that concerns you.”

“You’re my brother. Anything that concerns you automatically concerns me, too.” Buck insists. “And that’s not me lying. I can’t imagine a world without you in it, if something is going on with you, I want to hear about it. Please?”

Daniel sighs. “I may or may not have met someone.”

“Really? It had to be that? I just lost a bet!”

“Buck!” 

“Sorry. Maddie and I bet on when your love life in college when you moved out.” Buck says. “Have you told her about them? Because if you have and she knows that she…”

Buck inspects Daniel again.

There’s a faint blush on his cheeks, and Buck feels a kind of unknown but comforting warmth coming off of him at the mention of the person he was with.

“I haven’t told anyone, no.”

“Oh.” Buck says slowly.

“Yep.” Daniel responds, popping the p.

“Oh! Well that’s cool! I can keep a secret.” he replies immediately. “So, come on, tell me about her. I have to hear about the girl that…”

He spares a glance at Daniel. Buck, almost immediately, spots watery eyes from him.

I haven’t told anyone, no.

He leans away from the mirror, walking over to his brother, gently holding his face in his hands.

If Daniel notices that his little brothers hands are shaking, he doesn’t say anything, which Buck wordlessly thanks him for.

“Daniel.”

He inhales shakily, stilling beneath Buck’s hold. “I…”

“It’s okay. Just…” he pauses. “tell me about them?”

Buck feels the second Daniel registers what he said. He feels his older brother stop shaking, and he feels him lean forward, allowing tears to freely fall.

“He’s… I hope you get to meet him someday, Buck. He’s so amazing. I never thought… but he’s so different. He and I, we were assigned roommates freshman year. We clicked immediately and we’re still living together now, obviously, and a few months ago, I just… I just realized what I felt for him.”

Buck lowers his arms, wrapping them around Daniel’s waist. “I’m proud of you, Daniel. Does… I know you said you haven’t told anyone about him, but have you told anyone that you’re…”

“No.”

“I’m the first person you’ve told?”

Daniel nods. “Yes.”

“God, why do the Buckley men keep turning out to like men?”

“Buck…”

“What!” 

Daniel sighs. “Nothing.”

“So, can I see a picture of him?”

His brother lights up, pulling out his phone, excitedly changing his lockscreen and Buck frowns, knowing that Daniel had to keep that a secret from anyone else around him. 

His eyes scan the screen, smiling at the sight of Daniel, open and free. He’s sitting on a balcony, and the mystery man is kissing him on the cheek. All Buck can see of him is a mop of dark hair and green eyes, but the thing he keeps focusing on is how wide Daniel’s smile is.

“I’m happy for you, Daniel.”

He’s about to reply when his phone starts buzzing in Buck’s hand. “Thank you, um, I should probably get going. It’s our scheduled call time.”

“Go. Go talk to him.”

Daniel nods, mouths a quick thank you, and rushes out of the bathroom, quickly bringing his phone up to his ear, a dopey smile overtaking his face.

Once he was alone once more, Buck turns his attention back to getting ready.

Truthfully, he wasn’t sure what people were supposed to wear to a party, especially when it was just a group of friends getting together to enjoy each others company. He had more or less settled on a dark green shirt and blue jeans, with his curls more or less just existing as he had let them air dry earlier in the day when he showered.

After ten uninterrupted minutes, which were only interrupted by his own music echoing through the bathroom, there’s another knock at the door.

“Yes?”

The door opens to reveal Eddie. He’s standing there with his arms crossed, which are… oh.

Eddie is wearing dark blue t-shirt that Buck almost immediately recognizes, but the younger man had cut the sleeves into a tank top. Buck inhales. 

He could act normal about this.

“I like this color on you.”

And Buck almost dies right there. Cause of death, simply just Eddie Diaz existing. “Oh! Thank you. I… um, you look good.”

“Thank you.” Eddie responds, extending his arms like he knows that Buck was zeroed in on them. “I finally cut those sleeves off, they were bothering me more than they should have been.”

“Oh.”

“Is there a problem?”

Yes. You look too hot right now and I’ve been resisting the urge to kiss you for two years. I don’t know how much longer I can—

“No, of course not.” Buck responds, turning off the bathroom light. “Are you ready to head out? Or are you going to ditch me last minute?”

“Not ditching you last minute, no.”

“What I like about you!”

“You hold me tiiiiight!”

“Tell me I’m the only one!”

Despite the atmosphere being laid-back for the first five minutes of Buck and Eddie’s appearances, the minute that Hen had busted out the alcohol as well as revealed that there was a karaoke machine, suddenly all bets for a relaxing night was called off.

Currently, Buck was standing in the front of the living room, standing in front of Hen’s low cost television set with a plastic, barely working microphone in his hand while he and Eddie sang together. Everyone insisted on people doing karaoke with the people they were dating, and despite Buck persisting that he and Eddie weren’t dating, that didn’t stop the begs.

(Chimney and Maddie, who had been revealed as his girlfriend, sang ‘Look After You’ twenty minutes before, and the two of them were still sitting on the floor in a puddle of their own tears.

Hen and Karen had sang ‘Werewolves of London’ right afterwards. The two of them insisted that they didn’t want to do some cheesy love song like most people most likely assumed them to do.

Kevin and Albert, who weren’t dating especially as they saw each other as brothers rather than anything else, sang ‘Holding Out For a Hero’, and the two of them were so drunk during it that most of their words slurred the entire performance.

Somehow, Buck and Eddie got roped into doing ‘What I Like About You’ and neither of them were in the right headspace to argue.)

So.

Buck was fine.

Sure, there was alcohol buzzing through his veins, his vision was getting a little blurry and his red-solo cup was in his right hand while his left arm was wrapped around Eddie, but he was fine.

And yes, he was the physically closest to Eddie he had been in a while.

Eddie, who kept leaning into Buck.

Eddie, who kept turning to Buck to sing certain lyrics at the top of his lungs.

Eddie, who every time he turned to Buck, he could smell the drink on his lips.

Eddie… who looked beautiful.

He was in his element, happy.

Everything with his dad was something that Buck hated to see him go through, but to see him here, happy, made Buck blush. The faint pink on Eddie’s cheeks, the sweat on his forehead from how many people were crammed into Hen’s house. The sleeves of his tank-top was frayed, the threads swaying in the wind as Eddie banged his head to the beat of The Romantics.

“Keep on whispering in my ear!”

Lean. “Now tell me all the things that I wanna hear!”

“Cause it’s true!”

“Get a room!” Kevin whisper-shouts, his words slurred. Buck promptly ignores him, locking eye contact with Eddie as the two finished the song. He doesn’t miss the way that Eddie looks at him, his eyes searching Buck for something.

The song fizzles out and Buck and Eddie bow dramatically.

“For one night!”

“And one night only!”

“Whatever the fuck that was!”

And that’s that.

Buck walks away from the makeshift stage, but Eddie follows close behind. Eventually, Buck throws himself on the couch and Eddie… follows.

The younger man (only by two months but still) sits next to Buck. However, because of the size of Hen’s couch, Eddie ends up being on Buck’s lap. He’s sitting there, legs crossed, playing with the stray curl on Buck’s forehead, twisting it in his pointer-finger.

“You are such a lightweight.” Buck mumbles.

Eddie groans. “I’m not.”

“You really are.” he responds. “How many…”

His friend leans into him, moaning as he moves. (No, really, Buck is fine. If he’s mentally thinking about what song he wants played during his funeral, than he is.) “It’s not important.” 

“It kind of is…”

“Alright lovebirds!” Karen shouts, interrupting Buck. Realistically, shouting wasn’t really needed, but Buck feels Eddie jump beneath him, and they both turn to find her holding an empty bottle, waving her finger in the air. “We’re playing truth or dare!”

“No we’re not!”

“Yes we are, Buckley!”

Buck sighs and helps Eddie stand. “Let’s go.” he says slowly and quietly. “We get to sit on the floor this time. Nice and safe.”

“I’m sitting next to you.”

“Naturally.”

After ten minutes, they’re sitting on the floor with a single bottle in the middle. Hen, Albert, Kevin, Chimney, Maddie, Buck and a nearly passed out Eddie watch intently as Karen explains the rules.

Buck, and everyone there, knows the rules, of course.

“Alright…” Karen spins the bottle, and when it lands on Buck, she grins, and Buck wishes right then and there that he was no longer on the planet. “Truth or Dare, Buckley?”

“Truth.”

“Boring.” she says. “Whatever. Um… What’s your favorite Fall Out Boy album? And don’t try and pretend like you’re not a fan, Edd—”

“Infinity on High.”

She purses her lips, nodding. “Spin!”

He gives the bottle a weak spin, and he watches as his friends (and sister), do the most outlandish and yet tame things on the planet. 

(Hen ends up having to admit who her favorite player of the football team is. She says Chimney.

Chimney has to tell everyone when he realized he liked Maddie. He says when he first saw her. Everyone, except for Buck, smile and in perfect harmony say ‘awwwh’.

Kevin and Albert have to reveal to the group who they like if anyone. Kevin says he doesn’t have a crush and Albert says it’s a guy in Psychics class who doesn’t know what he’s doing ninety percent of the time, but Albert loves it anyways.

Maddie has to tell everyone an embarrassing story about Buck. She says… something.

Karen has to recount how she and Eddie met. Buck doesn’t fully listen, but he smiles anyways. Hearing any story about Eddie made him smile.

And Eddie has to take off his sock with his mouth.)

“Alright Buck!” Eddie says excitedly. The alcohol is his system has settled, and Buck watches as the color is brought back to his cheeks. “Truth or Dare!”

“You’re way too excited, Diaz.”

“Don’t beat around the bush…”

“Dare.”

Eddie smiles. “Kiss the prettiest person in the room.”

Oh.

Buck exhales. “Um.. that’s fine, I can do that.” he says slowly, looking over everyone sitting in front of him. “Can you guys just… close your eyes? I… I don’t want this to be a big thing.”

“You’re not kissing me, right?” Maddie asks. “Can I keep my eyes open?”

Buck nods; he’s going to need her to keep them open. He watches as everyone closes their eyes, one by one. Maddie is watching him, her eyes wide open watching his every moment.

After a moment, he turns to his left, his eyes landing on Eddie.

Eddie… God.

He could do so much to him.

For now, though…

He inches forward slowly, moving a piece of hair out of Eddie’s eyes. Eddie, beneath him, lets out a giggle which is slowly becoming one of Buck’s favorite sounds to hear. He leans forward, closing the gap.

For a moment, Buck is frozen.

Until. Beneath him, he feels Eddie move. Contrary to Buck’s immediate thought, he moves forward, deepening the kiss and it’s everything Buck had dreamed of. The taste of alcohol is present, but Buck can’t help but revel in it.

And then.

They lean away from each other in unison and Eddie’s eyes are wide open.

He’s staring into Buck’s soul.

And Buck…

Buck just kissed Eddie Diaz.

Before anyone has a chance to say anything, Buck stands, stumbling as he makes his way for the door, ignoring any comments coming from behind him.

Hen’s house is twenty minutes away from his.

He makes it home in ten. His leg aches by the end of it, but he couldn’t care less.

Eddie doesn’t come home that night.

SENIOR YEAR, FALL

The first time Eddie sees Buck since Hen’s party, he bolts.

During the end of their junior year, Eddie had avoided Buck like the plague. He had managed to communicate with Maddie so that he could pick up his stuff from the Buckley house without him being there, and throughout the school year, he avoided the football field like a disease he was desperate to hide from. There had been plenty of unread (as well as read) texts that Eddie sent Buck, but the latter hadn’t responded to any of them, so Eddie imagined that he was just done.

Anyways.

The first time it happens, Eddie bolts. He moves faster than his legs have ever moved before, and he finds himself in the bathroom, sitting on the floor of a stall, his knees holding his chin in place.

For the split second that he had seen Buck, though, he felt his knees buckle. His hair, more specifically his curls , was waving freely in the wind, like an untamed animal. He was standing with such pride and he looked so comfortable that Eddie felt sick. He knew that starting this season, Buck was stepping into a new role with the football team, and… well, frankly, the title of leader looked amazing on him.

Everything was moving so fast, Eddie barely registered the door to the bathroom opening and closing while he just sat there.

He knew that he would have to see Buck eventually.

He just hoped that would be at their ten year reunion when Buck was with someone who he really loved and Eddie could just watch him from the sidelines, the way that God intended Eddie to see him.

In his brain, while foolish, he thought he could get through his senior year with little to no sightings of him. Often, since the incident, he longed for the days when Buck was just another football guy.

Back when Eddie saw himself sitting at a dinner table, his arm wrapped around a woman watching their children live life when he was older. 

Back when everything made more sense.

Everything was easier back then.

Sure, there technically was a part of his identity buried and locked so low beneath the surface Eddie himself barely knew it was there, but he felt safe.

He held the key close. Nobody else—

“Diaz?”

Oh shit.

Okay, Eddie, calm down. Anyone could have seen him go in there. Karen was probably looking for him, she was probably—

“Come on man, I thought we agreed we weren’t going to meet like this anymore.”

Oh.

Well.

Or Evan Buckley was standing in the boys bathroom. Eddie could vaguely see him through the crack in the stall he was hiding in, his heart heavy.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

He feels Buck rolls his eyes.

“Not really, no.” he responds. Eddie can hear him leaning his weight on the door of his stall. So he knew where Eddie was. Great. Awesome. No big deal. “I just want to talk to you.”

Slowly, Eddie stands, leaning against the door, arms crossed. He can tell that he’s mirroring the other man, but he can’t bring himself to move again. The pain in his heart was making its way down to his legs, and he could see a world where they gave out beneath him. “Great. So, talk.”

Buck lets out a breath. 

“I wanted to apologize for what happened at Hen’s party.” he says. “When you said… what you said, I just, I did what you told me to do. I didn’t really think about the aftermath of it all. I never in a million years wanted to confess anything about how I feel to you, and never in a million years did I want it to go down like that on the off chance I did. Everything was just so…”

He pauses and Eddie takes a moment.

Because, yes, he did technically tell Buck to kiss the prettiest person in the room. And yes, a part of him was hoping Buck would kiss him. But he never thought that anti-climatic master plan would work out the way it did. He imagined Buck would just haphazardly kiss someone else or just say that he couldn’t and give some lame excuse.

“The things I feel for you, because God, Eddie, I feel so much for you, it just overpowered me that day. Seeing you so happy, in your element, even after everything that happened with your dad… I just, I thought about kissing you a lot before that, but you gave me the perfect opening and I, I stupidly took it. And then I lost you.” 

Eddie hears him sniffle, most likely forcing unfallen tears back into himself.

And Eddie feels guilt course through him. The pain Buck was feeling, Eddie caused that. Eddie was the reason that Buck was upset.

“I never wanted my own selfish feelings to get in the way of us. Our relationship and what we are… it’s important to me.” he carries on, voice shaky. “You mean so much to me and I never wanted our friendship to suffer and falter because of something that I feel.” Buck shifts his weight. “I’m just, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I wasted your time. I imagine that you have more important things to focus on that don’t involve me. I’ll get out of your hair—”

“Wait.”

And Eddie feels the ground beneath him shift. He can pinpoint the moment Buck stops, his feet inching away from the stall slowly but surely, but the minute Eddie says something, he pauses.

“So he can speak.” Buck says.

Eddie sighs. “I can speak.”

“Thought maybe you lost that ability.”

“Definitely didn’t.”

“Good to know.” he responds. “So…”

Eddie leans forward, his cheek pressed against the door, desperate to be close to Buck without having to face him. He knows that if he makes direct eye contact with him, everything he vaguely rehearsed would be gone, crumbling out of his grasp.

“I wanted you to kiss me.”

And that’s all it takes. A reservoir flows out of Eddie, and he can feel tears dripping down his cheeks. He swiftly leans away from the door, craving the space he lost.

What feels like a lifetime passes before they say anything.

At the end of the day, as expected, it’s Buck.

“W-what?”

“I wanted you to kiss me.” Eddie repeats simply. “When I told you to kiss the prettiest person in the room, I was hoping you’d kiss me.”

“If you wanted me to kiss you, why didn’t you just ask me? I mean, I would have said yes. I feel like it’s kind of obvious that I would have said yes.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

For the first time since meeting him two years prior, Evan Buckley is quiet. Eddie can barely even hear his breathing. It gets to the point that Eddie would think he left if he couldn’t see his shoes beneath the stall.

“There’s this thing.” Buck says slowly. “This idea, I guess. Something about how someone’s first love can’t be their last love. That’s why a lot of high school sweethearts get a lot of questions. It’s uncommon for people to stay with the first person they dated.” Eddie wants to interject, but Buck doesn’t give him a chance. “I don’t want to go into detail, because I don’t want you to look at me the way that Daniel, Maddie and my parents do, but, I was pretty badly assaulted when I was thirteen. He… he was my therapist. I started going to him to see if I could get legally diagnosed with ADHD so I could get some medication. I guess he was technically my first, based on what he did to me, but I don’t want my actual first to not work out because we’re ‘stupid kids’ or whatever.”

“Evan.” Eddie says slowly, the words feeling like poison on his tongue. “You would be my first, too. I don’t see why your first can’t be your last.”

Buck lets out a breath. “I just don’t want to ruin everything. I’ve ruined too many people, I mean, it was my fault that everything with him happ—”

And Eddie can’t take it anymore.

He swings open the stall door, wrapping his arms around Buck, holding onto him like his life depends on it. He refuses to look at him, just holding him for a moment. 

“What happened was not your fault.” Eddie tells him, running a hand through Buck’s hair. “With me at the party and especially with him. You’re a good person, Buck. Probably the best person that I know. And you deserve nice things. You don’t break things and you definitely don’t ruin things.”

Buck leans into his hold.

“I’m sorry.”

Eddie separates himself from Buck, wrapping his arms around his waist, holding eye contact. 

“It’s just important to me that you know that there are people out there that care about you.” 

Buck sighs. “I know there are.” he says quietly. “As long as you’re in my corner I know I’m okay.”

“I’m always going to be in your corner, Buck.”

Buck watches him, his eyes swelling with something Eddie can’t quite name. “Eddie…”

“Something you need to say?”

“I care about you, too.” Buck says weakly. “I care about you so much that I feel like my heart—”

“Buck.” Eddie says slowly, running his hands through his hair again. 

(God, he could do that for the rest of his life.)

“What?”

“You could just kiss me.” he says, his voice just above a whisper. “If that’s something you want.”

Buck sighs, holding onto his belt buckle. “Please.”

Eddie nods, leaning forward, closing the distance between the two of them.

It’s soft and it tastes like coming home.

He can feel Buck’s tongue, and the taste on it is the overly minty toothpaste Eddie knew all too well. Buck leans in, bringing his hands to Eddie’s cheeks, deepening the kiss. Eddie immediately mirrors him, leaning in, doing his part to deepen in. One hand is on Buck’s waist, his other hand rubbing and grabbing at his curls. 

Eddie moans into Buck, and Buck giggles, which is what causes the two to separate. Buck rests his head on Eddie’s, who smiles at the connection and warmth between the pair.

“You know…” Eddie says, smiling softly. “how in Hamlet his whole cover up for acting crazy was that he was in love with Ophelia?”

Buck nods. “I have some recollection.”

“I think I get where Shakespeare was coming from.” he tells him. “Same with all of his sonnets about the fair friend.”

“You read the sonnets?”

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”

“Everybody knows that one!”

Eddie sighs. “I never said I was original. At least I know that the fair friend was a man!”

Buck rolls his eyes, but he kisses Eddie anyway. They’re in love, they’re united, and that’s all that matters to Eddie at the moment.

SENIOR YEAR, SPRING

April rolls around in like an instant according to Buck.

Everything had changed in his life, most of which for the better, so quickly that he barely had a moment to himself to breathe . He wasn’t complaining, of course. He knew better than to take everything he had for granted.

He had a secure relationship with Eddie, which was insane to him on its own. In his years of noticing Eddie from a distance he never saw a reality where the two of them were anything more than close friends that confused and irritated everyone around them. The pair had been going strong since September, and Buck loved every minute of it. Every stolen kiss, every moment the two of them simply existed together, Eddie’s face when Buck had asked him to go to prom with him… everything was perfect and Buck wanted to stay in the moment forever.

Football season had gone well, too. He had been the ‘best captain the team had seen’ according to Bobby as well as the school newspaper, successfully bringing the team to a full season victory for the first time since Buck had joined the team.

(At the end of the day, his parents weren’t there the day that he brought them to a season win. They had planned on going, but they canceled last minute, stating that they had better things to do than watch their son try his best. 

That didn’t really matter to him, though. 

He looked out into the stands and saw Maddie who had made the trip from college to see him, Eddie who was standing next to her, and Daniel, who was on the other side of Eddie. The three of them were watching him, proudly cheering as everything fell into place the way he intended it to all along.)

“I hope they play ‘Supermassive Black Hole’!” Sophia says, kicking her feet back and forth. Buck is lying on the floor of Sophia’s bedroom with Eddie comfortably laying on top of his chest. The three of them had been painting their toes and talking about their respective prom hopes.

Eddie groans, not moving his head from Buck’s chest. “It’s your junior prom, Soph.” he reminds her. “If they don’t play ‘Superbig Black’—”

“It’s ‘Supermassive’.” Buck interjects.

He exhales. “If they don’t play ‘Supermassive Black Hole’, they could always play it during your senior prom. Why are you even going to our prom?”

“You don’t own the prom!” she responds. “Just because you’re going with your boyfriend does not mean single people like yours truly can’t have a good time. Didn’t you go to your junior prom?”

Buck stares at Eddie, awaiting a response.

On a regular moment in time, Eddie would have spent that day with Buck, but that was after Hen’s party, which meant that the two weren’t in contact at the time. 

“No, I didn’t.” he says shortly.

Eddie’s expression microscopically changes, and as the self appointed expert on Eddie Diaz, Buck leans in, smiling at him. “Neither did I, sweetheart.”

“And that is my que to go.” Sophia says, standing up, carefully tiptoeing out of her room, careful not to mess up her freshly painted toes.

Eddie moves from Buck’s chest, sitting up, bringing his face to his knees, and Buck follows quickly, positioning himself in front of him. “I didn’t…”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” Buck insists. “I hurt you. During those months when we weren’t speaking, I mean. I did something stupid and I ruined us, I hurt you. We were supposed to spend that day together. We were going to watch Dirty Dancing together while other people wasted their night at prom.”

Eddie frowns. “Love, it’s okay. I know we had plans, but plans change. And you should know by now that I’m not mad at you for what happened at Hen’s.”

Buck leans forward. “If we had just talked…”

“If we had just talked, we wouldn’t be us.” Eddie interjects. “If we had just talked, we wouldn’t be able to tell our children someday how we met and got together in the same bathroom.”

“Children?”

He winces. “I didn’t mean… well… I mean… I would like to someday raise a family with you, have a life outside of this town. But, I know we’re young. I know that’s not something…”

Buck shuts him up with a kiss and a giggle. “I’ve been thinking the same thing, don’t worry. I already have a playlist of songs to play at our wedding.”

And Eddie beams at that.

His smile overtakes his entire face, his teeth exposed and open for the world to see. Buck can see a blush rising to his cheeks to go along with it, too. 

“Evan Buckley!” he says, almost sternly, but Buck can see him trying not to break into laughter as the words pass his lips. “Do you have a Pinterest board about us? Maybe a list of baby names?”

“I will not confirm nor deny!” Buck responds, placing a hand over his phone, which is exposed to Eddie if he just reached his hand over. 

“Alright. So what songs are at our wedding, Diaz?”

And hearing Eddie refer to Buck like that… God.

The things Buck would do to him if they weren’t in the Diaz house and there wasn’t a chance someone would walk in on the two of them. 

“Buckley-Diaz.”

“Evan Buckley-Diaz?”

“Buck Buckley-Diaz. I would get my first name changed.” Buck doesn’t miss the way Eddie’s face changes, the way his eyebrows knit together. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, anyways. Evan never really felt like me.” 

Eddie smiles. “I think it works.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“So, what are we playing at the wedding?” he asks nonchalantly, falling back onto his back. “Come on, if we were getting married tomorrow, what would we be playing according to you?”

Buck exhales, opening the playlist. “I have so many stupid ones.” he says, scrolling through. “Like, here, okay, this one is so stupid and you can’t laugh! I had a big Weezer phase when I was younger. Their cover of ‘Happy Together’ is a must play.”

“They have a cover of ‘Happy Together’?” 

“Yes.” Buck says, scrolling more. “Oh that’s a good one! ‘Photograph’ by Ed Sheeran. There’s something about that song that breaks me.”

“So you want to play it at our hypothetical wedding?”

“Yep.” he responds, popping the p and not missing a beat. “Then we could cry together. You have heard it, right? It was huge when it came out.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and kisses Buck again. “Yes I’ve heard it.”

“What was that for?”

“No reason.”

“Oh come on.”

“I just love you, that’s all.”

And Buck holds onto that more than anything else Eddie has ever said to him. Which was saying something, because Buck held onto everything Eddie said to him.

“Okay, here’s the deal, love.” Eddie says slowly, voice muffled through the closed door. “You don’t get to make fun of me and you have to remember I’m wearing this suit to graduation so if you do hate it, you are going to have to take prom and graduation pictures with me in it.”

Buck rolls his eyes, as if there was anything Eddie could wear that he would honestly hate.

Prom was something that high school movies hyped up so much that the two of them felt the need to go to, especially after Buck had asked him with a proper promposal.

Buck was wearing a deep blue suit with a white dress shirt underneath it, and he was waiting outside of his own bedroom, patiently awaiting the grand reveal of Eddie. He insisted on getting dressed himself and hiding everything about his suit from Buck, which he graciously accepted.

“I promise I’ll be supportive.” Buck insists, leaning closer to the door like he could somehow see his boyfriend through the wood. “Can you hurry up, though? Karen won’t wait for us forever, you know!”

He hears Eddie groan on the other side of the door.

“Okay, okay.”

The door clicks open and Buck almost falls over.

Not because he was leaning on it, no. He had moved once he heard Eddie’s hand hit the doorknob. The thing that made him almost fall over was the appearance of his other half. 

Eddie was standing in front of him, his hair slightly disheveled with one curl on his forehead, and he was wearing a dark green suit. The cut and fit of the suit is tight in all the right places, but Buck can tell that Eddie has plenty of room to comfortably move. It also compliments his complexion perfectly, and Buck can already see them walking into the gymnasium hand in hand, beaming at the people there.

“Is it awful?”

Buck ducks his head, hiding the blush that he can feel rising to his cheeks the more he looks at Eddie. “It…”

“What?”

“It’s a good thing we’re already dating.”

“Why?” He simply takes a step forward, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s neck, holding him in place, a soft smile planted on his face. “Oh.”

“Because if we weren’t, me doing this would definitely ruin everything we have going.” Buck says, cocking his head to the side. “You’re beautiful.”

He feels Eddie lean into his hold. “So are you.”

“You got an outfit photo last week.” Buck reminds him.

Eddie nods, holding him closer. “Yeah, I know. I looked into color theory… found out what color works well with blue and figured this was a good option.” 

“Color theory?” 

“Yep. I mean, I couldn’t show up to prom with the one and only Evan Buckley with a color that didn’t work well with his suit, could I?”

“No.” Buck responds, kissing him. “You couldn’t.”

Eddie smiles. “Let’s go.”

Buck nods, leading him out of the house.

Once the two of them get to the school, they easily find their way to the gym, and while most of the people the two of them were friends with had graduated last May, they found comfort with each other the whole night.

There was no ‘Supermassive Black Hole’, much to Sophia’s dismay, but what there was was ‘Photograph’, and the two of them slowly and quietly moved to the middle of the dance floor, wrapped together. There was no telling where Buck ended and Eddie began, especially as the song progressed and the two of them swayed in perfect unison.

Sure, there were other couples moving to the same beat, but none of them were as in sync as Buck and Eddie. The lyrics flooded Buck’s ears, and he rested his head on Eddie’s shoulder, breathing in his fruity shampoo, finding comfort in the familiar scent.

He could feel Eddie laugh, nuzzling his nose in Buck’s curls, but at that moment, nothing else mattered.

He, Evan Buckley was at prom, while being genuinely happy, with the man of his dreams. He didn’t really have room to complain.