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“Hey Daisy?” June says from her sister’s doorway. Daisy looks up from her bed and smiles.
“Hi Junie.” Daisy says. “What’s up?” June twists her fingers together and takes a deep breath as she steps into the room. She doesn’t know why she’s so nervous to talk to Daisy, and she knows Daisy will understand what she is going through. Out of all her siblings, June relates more to Daisy than Ava and Levi. They were more outgoing, loud and confident. Daisy preferred to stay back and observe and June preferred to just stay back.
She didn’t like trying new things, and it was hard for her to go to new places and meet new people.
And she was starting middle school tomorrow. A whole new school, new teachers, new classmates.
Levi and her friends would be there and Daisy would be there too but—
“I—I wanted to talk to you about something.” June says. Daisy closes the book she was reading and turns in her chair to face June.
“About what June?” She asks. June pulls on her hair a little, something she does when she’s anxious.
“I’m starting middle school tomorrow.” June says. “It-it’s new.” Daisy gets up from her chair with an understanding look on her face as she walks over to June.
“Oh.” She says. She takes June’s hand and pulls her to the bed, and sits her down.
“You are nervous about starting at a new school?” Daisy asks. June nods and looks down at her hands in her lap.
“How did you do it?” June asks. “Were you anxious?” Daisy nods her head, and gives June a soft smile.
“I was at first.” Daisy says. “Especially when I started middle school. But I knew I just had to do it. And Ava was in 8th grade, and I knew she would be close. And I will be there too June.”
“Okay but—” June bites her lip. “You won’t ever see me. A-and I don’t know the campus or the teachers or where to go.” She feels her chest begin to tighten, and her breathing get a little uneven.
“June breathe!” Daisy says reaching over to rub her arm. “You went on the tour with mom and dad. You know where some stuff is. And it might be hard the first day but you will get used to it.”
“B-but how did you get through it?” She asks feeling tears well up in her eyes. “You are so brave. Ava is so confident. And Levi is Levi. And I have to plan ahead for my day so I don’t have any surprises.” Daisy squeezes her arm and pulls her closer.
“I’m not that brave Junie.” She says. “I still struggle with a lot of stuff, and Ava and Levi do too. No one is perfect.”
June picks at the skin on her fingers, and she sees a bit of blood. Daisy must notice because gently pulls June’s fingers away and gets up. She disappears for a second and then she’s back, as she gently dabs at the blood.
“Sorry,” June mutters. Daisy shakes her head, and smiles at her. “Don’t apologize June. Everyone gets worried and anxious. And so what if you have to plan ahead for your day? That could be helpful.”
June shrugs her shoulders. It was something her therapist suggested she do when she had to start new things.
Plan ahead.
Write down the things you need to do.
“Listen,” Daisy says. “When we get to school tomorrow I will show you where all your classes are, and some of the short cuts so you aren’t late for class.”
“I have to switch classes.” June says and the panic is rising again. Shes used to staying in one class and moving with her teacher and classmates.
“You do.” Daisy confirms. “But you will get used to it and it will be like second nature.” June looks down at her hands again.
She feels a little better, but only just. She had gotten her schedule at orientation and she only had a few classes with Levi.
“I will see you in the halls.” Daisy says. “And you will have Levi to turn to if you need him.”
“Yeah.” June mutters.
“It will be okay June.” Daisy says. “You got through kindergarten and you didn’t want mom and dad to leave. You made it through your first dance class. Your first recital. I know it seems scary but you can do this.”
“I’m scared.” June says softly. Daisy gives her a soft smile and squeezes her arm.
“Well I believe in you June.” Daisy says. “And if you need me, you can always come at my study hall.”
June bites her lip and nods, Daisy gives her another hug. “Thanks Dais.”
“You can always come to me June. Okay?” Daisy says. “I’m your big sister, that’s what I’m here for.”
June nods again and she feels her shoulders relax. “Okay.” She says and she’s grateful she has Daisy to talk to. She loves Ava and Levi, and they were there for her in different ways.
But Daisy just knew what to say, kind of like their mom. And their dad.
“If you ever need help with anything June.” Daisy says. “I’m here. Okay?” June nods and gets up from Daisy’s bed. She heads to the door, and steps into the hallway.
She could do this.
She could do this.
She doesn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but she knows she would never be alone. She has her sisters, she has her brother and her parents.
She could do this.
***
June sighs as the car pulls up to the curb and stops. Levi is out of the car, waving bye to their mom and then disappearing into the crowd with his friends who are waiting for him.
Daisy is in the front seat with their mom, and June has yet to unbuckle. “June?” Comes her mom’s voice. June looks up to see Lucy looking at her in concern. “Are you okay?”
June twists her fingers, picking at the skin once again. Her fingers look awful from all the picking she has been doing.
“I’m good.” She mutters. Daisy turns to look at her, a knowing look in her eyes. Lucy looks a little unconvinced.
“June.”
“I got her mom.” Daisy says. June watches as her sister climbs out of the car, and opens June’s door. “Come on June. I will show you where to go.” June swallows nervously and unbuckles her hands shaking as she grabs her backpack.
“Bye mom.” June says quietly. Lucy is still watching her carefully. June avoids her eyes as she steps out of the car.
“Bye baby. Have a good first day.” Lucy says. June nods and ducks her head down as Daisy wraps her arm around her shoulder.
“I got her mom.” She says again. “Bye!” Lucy drives off, and then Daisy leads June into the school.
“Your first class is your homeroom.” Daisy explains. “Where’s your schedule?” June digs through her backpack and pulls it out. Daisy scans it and then looks up at her.
“You have English.” She says. “With Ms. Rose. She’s really nice. Come on.” As they walk Daisy points out other classes, the lockers (they make a pit stop at Daisy’s and June’s). And then Daisy leads her to the classroom.
“I’m just down the hall.” Daisy tells her. “And I think Levi is in this class.” June nods and peers inside. Her brother is already at a desk, his backpack on the chair next to him. Probably saving it for one of his friends.
“Thanks Dais.” She says softly and her sister hugs her tightly. “I got this.”
“Yeah you do Junie.” She says. “Just have a great day okay?” June nods and steps inside the classroom.
“June!” She looks over to see Levi motioning her over. He moves the backpack and she stops short when she realizes he was saving it for her.
She walks over and sits down, turning to look at her brother. “Thanks.” She says.
Levi hums softly and holds out his fist. “Of course.” He says. She bumps her fist with his, something they made up awhile ago. “You good?” She nods and adjusts herself in her chair, her brother is looking at her with concern in his blue eyes.
“I will be.” She says. Her heart is pounding, and she’s not sure she will ever get over being anxious.
Daisy is right down the hall, and Levi is right next to her. It will probably not be easy at first. And she is expecting that but—
She thinks—she knows—that she will be okay.
***
“Did you have a good day?” Daisy asks. June looks up from her bed where her homework is spread out.
Who gives homework on the first day of school?
“It was okay.” June says honestly. And it was fine, it was a little stressful but she managed to get by. Levi and her best friend Daphne were in her classes. And lunch time made her a little anxious but she made it through.
Daisy comes into her room and sits down on the edge of her bed. “I know it’s scary June. But you did so good today. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks.”
Daisy reaches over and squeezes her hand, “You can do this. And remember I will always be there to help you through.”
June smiles feeling eternally grateful for her older sister. “Thanks Daisy.” She says softly. Daisy squeezes her hand.
“Anytime June.” She says a smile on her face. “Anytime.”