Work Text:
As romantic as it would be to say that, Titch was quite sure, his meeting with Derek wasn't love at first sight. First sight attraction, maybe, but he was always helpless around big, chocolate brown eyes. But as far as he remembered, he was mostly just confused. How could someone grow that tall? And how would someone manage to work around all those long limbs? Derek might've teased him about such a stupid first impression if he knew about it but there wasn't much to do with it, it was as it was.
Titch first met Derek in one of the greenhouses at his father's farm. The sun was shining brightly outside and the inside of the greenhouse was hot and humid, making his shirt stick to his back with sweat. He was trying to organize things a bit (his father's tendency to leave stuff around could drive him crazy, honestly), stacking the big pots in one empty corner of the greenhouse, huffing loudly with the weight when he heard a voice.
"Can I help you with that?"
When he turned around, he saw a tall, gangly man who seemed surprisingly young in his oversized, worn shirt and trousers, all dirty with soil. Even his left cheek had a stain. But he smiled brightly at Titch when their eyes met.
"I'm almost done, thank you."
"Oh, it's a shame. They're quite heavy, those pots." Titch hummed, not really knowing what to say. "I'm Derek, nice to meet you." The man held out a hand and Titch accepted the handshake.
"I'm Titch, my pleasure."
"Oh, you're the son of Mr. Wright. The others told about you but I haven't seen you around yet."
"Ah, yeah, I haven't been back for long. Just finished my degree. In botany," he added at Derek's curious gaze.
Titch inherited the love for nature, particularly for plants from his parents. He was surrounded by plants from the moment he was born. His first memory was planting sunflowers, for God's sake. After that it wasn't surprising that he chose to pursue a degree in that field, a first generation degree holder in his family. It was as natural as breathing to finally return here, finally getting into farming on a professional level at his father's side, and others had the same thoughts, watching this boy grow up with a fate seemingly already decided. This man in front of him though wasn't familiar for Titch even a bit.
"You're not from around here, are you?" He asked, reaching for another big pot.
"Oh, no, I'm not. I moved here only a few weeks ago."
"Well, not to be judgemental because God knows how much I love this place but why here? Of all places."
"You could call it a search for my roots." Derek laughed. Titch couldn't help but notice the way Derek's laughter seemed to light up the whole space. "My grandparents were originally from here but moved away later on. I was very close with my grandma and all her stories made me curious of this place. So I decided to take a look at it myself."
Titch wasn't sure he understood that logic, all that easy-going descision making this man embodied, when he had the tendency to plan for years ahead, every descision is a precise one to reach his goals. Others might’ve thought he was a bit stuck up but it did work out until now.
"I was lucky to find a job this quickly." Derek continued, reaching for a pot himself. Titch was almost done tidying up but Derek seemed adamant on helping him. "And I enjoy working with plants a lot, it feels very calming."
Titch just hummed at that. He could understand that feeling. He often felt more relaxed in the company of plants instead of people. No one to perform to, no one to entertain, no one to convince about anything. Just him and green leaves and the open, blue sky.
"May I help you with something else?" Derek asked then, putting the last pot in place.
"Ah, no, thank you, I'll actually have some stuff to do in the village, I'll leave soon. Just wanted to finish some work beforehand."
"It's a shame, I was glad to finally meet you."
"I... Thank you?" Titch said a bit clumsily. "Sorry, I'll... go then." Titch was already heading towards the door of the greenhouse and saw Derek's waving.
"Have a nice journey."
Titch definitely wouldn't have admitted how his cheeks turned slightly red at the bright smile Derek sent his way.
Titch had no idea how he managed to miss Derek for all those weeks because now that they met once, fate seemed adamant on making them meeting again and again. He bumped into him a few days later again out in the fields, then in the greenhouse, then who knows where. He would've started to suspect Derek was arranging it that way if his expression wasn't just as surprised every time as Titch's own. So at some point Titch just decided to succumb to fate if she was as insistent as she seemed to be. And before he realized he actually started getting excited about meeting Derek day after day.
Titch had to admit what really drew him closer to Derek was that he just felt like... light. Like he was a tiny Sun himself, emanating warmth from within, no matter the changes of his surroundings and circumstances. He was friendly with everyone, he was kind, always ready to help, he was funny, even if often quite clumsy. Titch couldn't help the way his lips automatically curled up at seeing Derek's smile, it was just so contagious. But what really made him grow a lot in Titch's eyes was the realization of how smart Derek actually was. When it was just the two of them Derek let that side show up too, showing how witty he could be, how much knowledge he carried around in that brain of his. Titch was also surprised when he realized how good Derek actually was with plants. Most of their workers were quite good but Derek was exceptional among them, even if he also gained his knowledge of plants from simply being surrounded by them. And books. Maybe that made him so different, Titch thought.
Long story short, Titch and Derek quickly got closer. While Titch was on good terms with the others too, the connection between him and Derek was on a different level, and it quickly blossomed into friendship. Accidental meetings turned into arranged meetings, working together turned into simply hanging out together. They often strolled around the farm, in and out of the greenhouses, or sat in the grass, looking out at the field with the few sheep Titch's father still kept despite the declining number of them since Titch's mother passed away. Sometimes they hung out at the porch of the house, joined by Titch's brother, James but those were rare times as the tension between the two brothers made it quite unpleasant so Titch quickly started avoiding the porch as a hang out spot with Derek.
And they often just went out, roaming around the lands surrounding the farm and the village. Titch showed Derek around like it was his own little kingdom, knowing every patch of wildflowers, every patch of trees like the back of his hand. Derek followed around enthusiastically and they were just talking and talking and talking, lost in time. Titch was quite sure it was the happiest he’s ever felt in his life. The broad, blue sky, wildlife for as far as he could see, and a good friend on his side.
"Bet I can climb that tree higher than you," Derek suddenly said, pointing at a big oak tree standing alone in the distance.
"I grew up here, of course I can climb trees better than you." Titch said matter of factly, crossing his arms.
"Being that short? I doubt it."
"Hey!!"
Titch tried to slightly slap Derek but he was already running away, towards the oak tree, his laughter echoing around them. Titch tried catching up to him, still shouting but he couldn't compete with Derek's long legs. The distance just grew bigger between them with every passing second, no matter how hard Titch was trying. Derek likely wanted to shout back something above his shoulder, but he only managed to turn halfway when his foot slipped and he landed on the ground with a loud shout. Titch had half the heart to laugh at him at first but when he saw Derek's pained expression his face quickly went pale.
"Shit, you're okay?" Titch ran up to him, crouching down, a hand on Derek's bony shoulder.
"I think I sprained my ankle..." Derek tried moving his foot then hissed at the pain. "See, the flaws of being tall, my limbs are everywhere."
"It's really not the time for height jokes, dumbass." Titch took a few seconds to think, looking at Derek's foot then at the horizon. The farm was small in the distance but still visible. A bit far but not impossible. "I'll carry you home."
"You're really tempting me to make another height joke." Titch just looked very unimpressed at that. "But really, you can't be serious. I'm too heavy for you."
"I'm stronger than I look, thank you very much. Now, stop talking, we should make you stand first."
With some grunting they managed to get Derek on his feet again, then Titch stood before him, waiting for him to hop on his back. Derek seemed honestly anxious about the plan but he decided to try it anyway. If Titch could carry him half the distance to the farm, it'd still help them. So he placed his hands in warning on Titch's shoulders before he gently hopped on his back. Titch did lose his balance for a second but quickly gained it back, holding onto Derek's legs on both sides of his hips. Whatever Derek said before, he was surprisingly light.
Titch walked slowly towards the farm, taking one step after the other down on the old dirt road. He walked slowly but steadily and Derek eventually allowed himself to relax, slumping more on Titch's back, wrapping his arms around the man's shoulders. Titch decided not to think too deeply about how comforting Derek's weight was against his back. Or how his brain was intensely aware of the way his palms sat on Derek's thighs. He concentrated on his own breathing instead, the little huffs echoing in his ears, and he fixed his eyes on the road before them.
"My grandma told me they started talking with my grandpa when she hurt her legs," said Derek suddenly and Titch's lips curled up. Whenever Derek talked about his grandparents it was clear as day how much he loved them.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, she was walking home when she fell and hurt her legs. Grandpa was the first person to bump into her and he carried her home. Bridal style. My grandma said it was very romantic."
"Sounds like it." Titch chuckled. "I heard similar stories before. Seems like getting hurt is a great way to make someone fall in love with you."
Derek let out an amused huff at that and murmured something under his breath. When Titch asked what he said he just hummed and said it wasn't important, starting to fidget a bit to find a more comfortable position. Titch wasn't entirely sure but the murmur sounded suspiciously like 'is it working?' to his ears but he decided not to comment on it.
Derek stayed home for a while after that, the doctor commanding him to rest his foot, and that was the first time Titch visited him at home. Before that it was as natural as breathing that they would spend time around the farm instead. Titch almost forgot about how Derek actually lived somewhere else, to be honest, but now, as he was driving his father's old truck down the village's roads, the reality hit him at full course, making him a bit anxious over the unfamiliar territory. Derek was renting a part of a house at the other side of the village, him living on the upper floor and the elderly married couple who owned the house living at the ground floor. His place was small, just a big living room, a decent kitchen and a tiny bathroom, but Titch liked it from the first look. Maybe it was a bit outdated but it was cozy and warm, sunlight flooding the room, the air always full of the nice scent of cooking or the scent of the flowers sitting on the windowsills. And somehow it was so unmistakeably Derek's that Titch immediately felt drawn to it. So the awkwardness of the first visit quickly disappeared and the balance between the two men returned to normal.
When Derek's foot was all good again and he could return to the farm, their routine of spending most of their time together there returned as well. Now with a twist of occasional visits at Derek's place or spending time in the village. But Titch still enjoyed the most when it was just the two of them, out on a walk, climbing trees, or swimming in the nearby river. Summer slowly turned into fall. Titch didn't know how it happened exactly. And he didn't know when he started measuring time in their friendship's events and memories. But Titch was already excited in advance that finally, for the first time, he didn't have to enjoy autumn, his favourite season all alone, that finally he could share the experience with someone. And then came the bad news.
Titch was raking the leaves in the backyard, fighting an endless battle with the big walnut trees the past few weeks when Derek found him. They hadn't seen each other for the past couple of days because Derek spent a few days back at home with his parents. He wasn't even scheduled to start working again until tomorrow but as soon as he got back and went to briefly greet his landlords, they welcomed him with the news that Titch's father fell sick. Their tone of voice said everything their words didn't. So Derek left his bags as they were, fetching his old bike instead to get to the farm as fast as possible. Titch recognized his steps even without looking, the leaves crunching under his boots before he stopped a few feet away.
"Hi, I'm back," said Derek with a hint of his usual bright smile but his voice remained solemn.
"Hi. Welcome back." Titch didn't turn back to him. He was a bit scared of what Derek would see on his face. "Why did you–"
"I heard the news about your father." Titch's movements suddenly stopped at that. "How... How bad is it?"
"It's... quite bad." Titch said at first, his voice tight. Then his shoulders sagged in defeat and he bowed his head. "It's really bad, to be honest. The doctor says he won't... recover. He has like... a few weeks. At best."
"Oh shit, I'm so sorry..."
In the next second Derek's arms were already around Titch, pulling him into a tight embrace. Titch's breath hitched in surprise at first. There were some touches here and there between them, a palm on a shoulder, an arm hung around the other's shoulder, a hand squeezing a forearm, a shoulder pressing into a shoulder. But not hugging, not really. But after the first few seconds of surprise, Titch's breath hitched for an entirely different reason, his shoulders trembling as he let himself sink into Derek's embrace. He had to be strong for the others for so long, had to be strong for his brother, for the other workers, for his father even. But now he could finally relax and let himself fall apart too. He pressed his lips together tightly still, his tears falling silently down his cheeks. But Derek just hugged him tighter, calming words falling from his lips, like pebbles hitting the soft ground. And even after his tears stopped, Titch stayed in the embrace, leaning his forehead against Derek's shoulder, enjoying his warmth. He felt calmer than anytime this last few years, like everything clicked into place. But instead of thinking deeper into that he just closed his eyes and let himself enjoy this for the moment.
Titch's father fell sick in October. They held the funeral at the beginning of November. Titch felt like those last few weeks went by in a blink but they also moved agonizingly slow. It was excruciating to see how fast his father's health declined, it was terrible to stay by his side and keep watching, but it was terrible to stay away too, like he was wasting the precious time they still had together. But his brother was in no state to care for the farm where work didn't suddenly stop existing just because Titch's world felt like falling apart, so Titch had to be the one handling most of the responsibilities. Derek helped him a lot and he couldn't have expressed how grateful he was even if he tried, but it still was extremely hard to get by. Sometimes he felt like even breathing was too difficult.
Lots of people attended the funeral, some from the village, others from more far away places, all paying respect for Titch's father, expressing their condolences for Titch and James. Titch tried to be present for both of them, the arm he had around his brother's shoulder staying there all along. They weren't particularly close and they couldn't share their grief properly either but Titch at least wanted to try and be a pillar for his brother. Derek was hovering over Titch's other side, the villagers not even surprised by it at this point, and Titch was pretty sure Derek's presence was the only reason he still didn't crumble yet.
So it wasn't surprising that when finally everyone went home and Titch and James would've stayed alone at the farm, just the two of them, Derek decided to stay. He let the brothers stay alone for a while and Titch and James did sit in the living room for like half an hour awkwardly, breaking the silence only for a few short sentences, before James finally found some excuse to leave. Titch felt a bit guilty for being so relieved but he just couldn't... He loved his brother, really, but the death of their father wasn't like some magic remedy for their strained relationship. They were still too different, still unable to understand each other, and a part of Titch was relieved that he didn't have to deal with this right now. So when James finally left to find some friends from the village, Titch could finally go out to find Derek as well.
The sun was setting already, the air turning chilly but Titch still found Derek outside, sitting on a bench in front of the greenhouse. He seemed lost in thoughts, staring at the way the setting sun painted the sky, how the shadows grew longer. Titch stopped for a few seconds to figure out what to say. Or maybe just to look. But soon he joined Derek on the bench instead, accepting the man's solemn but comforting smile.
"James left, went out for his friends. Don't know when he'll be back," Titch said, mostly just to say something, staring out at the landscape instead.
"It must be difficult to stay here for him too after all that happened." Titch hummed at that. "How are you feeling?"
"...I don't know. Sad. Empty. Mostly just very tired."
It was Derek's turn to hum at that and then an arm wrapped around Titch's shoulder. Titch was way too tired to resist the temptation to sink against Derek's side, leaning his head against his shoulder.
"I'm sorry I can't help you." Derek said quietly, pulling in Titch a little tighter.
"You're already helping. You've been helping so much that I can't even express it with words. I don't think I would've been able to do all of this alone. And that made me think about something, actually." Titch felt Derek go very still on his side, like he didn't dare to even breathe.
"Yes?"
"I've been thinking... Umm... Would you want to be my assistant? When I'll take over my half of the land?"
There was a moment of silence after his question, Derek still not moving an inch and Titch was already pulling away to be able to look at him, when Derek's muscles finally relaxed again and a little, surprised laugh escaped his lips.
"Of course. I'd be honored to be your assistant."
Titch smiled at him, murmuring a thank you, and Derek looked back at him with a smile so genuine that Titch's cheeks started to warm up and he had to turn away. He still felt Derek's gaze on his face, almost burning but he decided to keep looking at the trees instead, their black silhouette painted onto the colorful sky. He didn't have to look at Derek to know every millimeter of those chocolate brown eyes anyway. At that moment he knew he had to stop pretending, at least in front of himself, that those eyes didn't haunt his dreams for a very long time.
While Titch knew their shared grief over their father's death won't be the magic remedy between him and James, he didn't quite think that things would actually turn out worse. They both had their own ways of dealing with the loss and the sudden responsibility falling heavily on them, and the differences between their personalities that were annoying at best before now often led to ugly arguments. Titch felt a bit guilty at first, honestly wanting to be there for James but James was just... Gosh, he was so annoying, so slow compared to the way Titch's mind raced, so inattentive, just... After a while Titch's guilt disappeared, leaving only annoyance behind. He loved his brother but still. So when the moment came for them to choose their side of the land, Titch left James go first but decided not to say anything when he chose the worse side of the land. Titch just thought James should've paid more attention to their father, should've paid attention to their work instead of always running around with the other kids in the village. Serves him right.
The pace of life picked up quickly after that. There was always so much to do, so much to pay attention to and Titch burrowed himself in the work. Derek turned out to be an invaluable help but Titch still constantly felt the urge to keep an eye on everything. His workdays grew longer and longer as the weeks went by, often returning way into the dark of the evening. Sometimes days went by without him and James bumping into each other while still living in the same house. But never with Derek. Even if his work was done already, Derek often waited for him for at least a little chat in the evening before he'd head home (at some point Titch convinced him to take the old truck instead of biking in the biting cold). So it wasn't an unusual sight at all for Titch to find Derek sitting on the carpet in front of the living room's fireplace, long fingers wrapped around a mug of tea, when Titch finally came home.
"You're going to get sick if you keep doing this." Derek noted with worry as he watched Titch taking off his boots and shrugging off his coat. "It's so cold outside, you'll freeze someday. Or just get sick from working too much."
"Don't worry so much about me, I know my limits." Derek's hum was quite doubtful at that. "Really! But to calm you, I'm actually done with some big projects now. I'll take tomorrow lightly. Now, scoot over."
Derek's expression turned happier at that, wriggling over a bit to give space to Titch on the carpet. Titch felt his muscles gradually loosen as the fire warmed his back and he let out a long, satisfied sigh. Derek's shoulder pressed against his own, warm seeping into his own body from the man by his side. Only his hands were still chilly but he was too comfortable to move and do anything about it. But Derek, like he somehow could read his mind, stood up in the next second, heading to the kitchen to make a mug of tea for Titch too. Titch's gaze followed his movements as he headed towards the kitchen then just closed his eyes instead, concentrating on the warmth of the fire behind him. Mostly to forget about the fire burning inside him.
Titch didn't remember exactly when he stopped pretending he wasn't attracted to Derek. He realized the feeling was there all along, he was just pushing all of it away effectively enough, until suddenly he couldn't anymore, no matter how much he tried. He kept repeating in his head how he was married to his job, how the farm was the most important thing in the moment, how everything was still so unstable, he wasn't ready for anything else... But no matter what his mind said, his heart, his stubborn heart didn't agree. And not his body. No matter what his mind said, he couldn't stop how he seemed to gravitate towards Derek constantly, he couldn't stop his eyes from following his movements, he couldn't stop his heart beating loudly at Derek's bright smiles. And he couldn't stop his gaze from falling to Derek's lips when he was so close, looking at him with single-minded focus. Fuck. Titch was completely, utterly fucked.
"James left, like, twenty minutes ago. He said he'll stay at a friend's house tonight." Derek returned, putting the mug in Titch's hands, sitting down on the carpet again.
"He's been out a lot lately." Titch noted, wrapping his fingers around the mug. "He'll never get any proper work done like that."
"Come on, he's still almost a kid. Don't make him grow up too fast." Titch grumbled a bit at that and Derek huffed in amusement, shoving his shoulder with his own playfully. "If you keep frowning, you'll get wrinkles really young. It'd be a shame for your pretty face." Titch's ears started burning at the comment.
"Oh, shut up!"
Derek just chuckled at that and started rambling about his day instead. The last few days they spent less time together, both of them doing their own separate tasks and they only met briefly throughout the day. So their evenings usually started with a quick discussion of their day, sharing experiences and thoughts, sometimes gossip with each other. Titch couldn't help but think about how domestic this all was. Coming home to someone. Coming home to Derek. He watched the man's profile while he was talking. Titch's gaze fell on the dark, soft-looking curls, slid down on the bridge of his nose, lingered on the stretch of the smile on his lips. The shadows danced around on his face, illuminating more then casting darkness over the valleys of his face again. And Titch just couldn't take his eyes off of him.
"You're staring." It was Derek's quiet voice that jolted Titch back into reality.
"Sorry." Titch quickly turned his gaze away, fixing it onto the patterns of the carpet instead. Long seconds went by in silence and Titch felt the oh-so-familiar weight of Derek's gaze on his face before Derek started again:
"Titch…"
Derek's voice was so hesitant and determined at the same time, Titch just had to look back at him. And once he looked, he couldn't turn away again. The fire in Derek's eyes burned even more intensely than the fire behind their backs. Titch wouldn't have been able to move even if he tried when Derek's gaze slid down on Titch's lips and slowly started to lean towards him, giving him enough time to object. Not like Titch could. Because no matter what his mind said, a little voice in his heart just sighed 'finally' with all the satisfaction in the world.
Derek's lips were hesitant against his own at first, a little chapped but so warm, and it took about three seconds to make Titch's carefully built up guards to crumble down. In the next second his hand already found his way to Derek's nape, pulling him closer. Titch's stomach clenched at the surprised little noise Derek let out but then he started reprociating the affection with the same intensity, fingers clenching in Titch's shirt. The kiss deepened, lips and tongues were sliding against each other and Titch could've died happy with the little noises Derek involuntarily let out. Then Derek's hand started slowly going down on his chest, down down down, until he reached the hem of Titch's trousers, slipping under his shirt, finally touching bare skin. And like reality hit him on the head, Titch abruptly pulled away, panting, catching the wandering hand.
"I... Derek, you know I'm practically married to my job and... I-I'm not sure I can balance a relationship with all this too and..." Titch tried very hard to gather his thoughts.
"Don't care." Derek's voice was surprisingly defiant and with his other hand he was pulling Titch closer again. Titch swallowed at the sight. They were just kissing but he looked wrecked already, his hair a mess, his pupils blown wide, his cheeks flushed. Fuck, Titch wanted nothing more than going further with him. But... "I've been waiting for so long, and correct me if I'm wrong but I know you want me. And I know you know I want you. I don't care what happens after, just this once, just this night–"
Whatever objections Titch still had disappeared into thin air at Derek's words. He still wasn't sure this was the best idea but Derek looked at him with big, almost pleading eyes and his hand somehow still sneaked under Titch's shirt, now holding onto his side, his touch burning Titch's skin. Derek was right, he did want him terribly. And Titch was just a weak man after all. So in the next second they were kissing again with newfound intensity. Titch gently leaned forward until Derek took the hint and laid back, his back meeting the carpet with a soft thump, Titch towering over him. Titch couldn't help but feel a sense of possessiveness over finally having Derek under him, his chest heaving, one of his hand gripping Titch's as Titch laced their finger together next to Derek's head. Titch had half the mind to take this up to his bedroom but he enjoyed it too much to stop. Derek was right. Just for this one night Titch didn't want to think about the future either.
Like life wanted to play a trick on Titch and prove just how right his mind was for finding all those reasons why he shouldn't have slept with Derek, Titch's workload after that night increased even more. It was a general tendency but spring and all the work it'd bring along started creeping up on them, slowly but surely. Titch found himself out doing work even more than before so meeting Derek outside of work was almost out of the question. Meeting him during work for more than 15 minutes was already difficult enough. So whatever happened that night, however amazing it was, Titch decided to shove everything back into the farthest corner of his mind where he kept it before. At least he tried to. Trying just as hard as ignoring Derek's puppy eyes or the gravitation Titch still felt towards the man. But he was trying damn hard.
Winter slowly turned into spring, the freezing cold tempered into a chilly bite, then into warm sunshine and light breeze. Titch welcomed the feeling of not being cold all the time and not returning home always in the dark. Even if his workload kept him from practically everything else which probably didn't help his temper, no matter the weather getting better. It was a chilly but sunny spring day too when things started moving forward again. He was just out in the field, getting into another argument with his brother over him encroaching on Titch's bit of land, ending with James saying maybe he should leave instead. Yeah, that was when things started inevitably moving forward again...