Work Text:
00:00
Phone ringing
Phone ringing
Eddie opens his eyes and searches for his phone in the darkness, not knowing who could be calling at this hour, and answers without looking.
"Hello?..."
"Dad?" a sigh is heard.
"Chris? What's wrong? Is everything okay?" The sound of his son's voice wakes him up instantly.
"Dad," he repeats with a sob. Eddie gets up, thinking the worst.
"Chris, what's going on? What do you need?" he asks stressed.
"You, please."
"Chris, you're scaring me. Did you have a nightmare? What's happening? Where are your grandparents?" Eddie becomes more and more nervous as he quickly tries to get dressed, thinking he needs to go to his son. Chris is crying on the other end of the line and finally replies,
"I'm sick, I have been throwing up all day because of food poisoning. They took me to the doctor, and he said to take some medicine and to stay home so it doesn’t get worse."
Eddie tries to calm himself, realizing it's not so urgent, but he starts to get angrier. His son is sick, and it didn’t occur to his parents to inform him? How dare they? He’s HIS son, he should be aware of everything that happens to him.
"Okay, Chris, calm down. If the doctor didn't make a big deal out of it, just take the medicine and in a few days you'll feel better. Tomorrow I'll call the grandparents to check on how you're doing. Try to rest. If you're too hot, take off a blanket, but don't get cold either. Do you want me to stay on the phone until you fall asleep?"
"NO!" his son sobs on the other end. Eddie tries not to take it as an attack, but the rejection hurts.
"Okay, well, we'll talk tomorrow then and..."
"No, Dad, no, please, I need you to come," Chris starts crying harder. "Please, I need you." Eddie feels his heart break and piece back together a thousand times. He really needs to hug his son now.
"Chris... of course, I'm coming. If that's what you want, I'm coming right now. I have to hang up to get dressed and leave, but I'll be there soon, okay?"
"Okay," Chris sighs.
"I’ll see you soon."
"Dad?"
"Yes?"
"I love you." Eddie tries to hold back the tears.
"I love you too." Eddie hangs up the phone and knows he needs to make another call to reach his son as soon as possible. The phone starts ringing, and it’s answered on the second ring.
“Eddie?” Buck says in a sleepy voice. “Is everything okay?”
“Hey, sorry to wake you, I need a favor.”
00:30
Eddie steps out of the house just as he sees Buck’s car pull up, and he quickly gets in.
"Hey, I’m really sorry for dragging you into this, but I don’t think I can drive eleven hours straight through the night, and I can’t stop thinking about Chris being scared, and the last thing he needs is his dad getting into an accident on the way. I feel bad you’ll miss work too, I could talk to Bobby and try to get our shifts rearranged to make up for it, or I could give you some of my hours when we get back, though I’m not sure when that’ll be, who knows what we’ll find when we get there. If you want, you could head back? I’ll pay for your flight, and I’ll drive the car back when I can, or maybe Tommy could come get you? Oh, crap, Tommy, you two had a date, didn’t you? Damn, Buck, I’m sorry, I dragged you into this without thinking about what you were doing, and—”
"Eddie, breathe." Buck covers Eddie’s mouth with his hand. "You didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to. I’m not worried about work, forget that, and I wasn’t with Tommy. We’ll figure it out when we get to Texas. Now just relax."
"You weren’t with Tommy?" For some reason, Eddie only keeps that detail. "I thought you two had plans."
Buck looks away and replies, "We did."
"And?"
Buck sighs. "We broke up."
"What?"
"Look, I don’t really want to talk about it right now. I just realized he wasn’t what I needed."
Eddie tries not to push while he processes the information. He doesn’t know why, but he feels something in his stomach. He liked Tommy. Or so he thought. Tommy was nice and seemed to treat Buck well. Although, if he really thinks about it, Tommy wasn’t exactly affectionate with him, not the way Buck deserved. Wait, where’s that thought coming from? It’s just that Buck deserves everything. He’s the most selfless, kind, and caring person. The kind of person who drops everything to help you. And Tommy… Well, he was fine, but he wasn’t what you’d call incredible. And Buck deserves incredible. Eddie would treat him incredibly. Wait. No.
Oh. Oh.
Eddie starts to feel panic rise in his chest as all his thoughts collide.
"Eddie."
He wants to be the one to take care of Buck. The one to take him out on dates. The one waiting for him at home. The one to listen to his stories. He’d do it better than anyone else. Because he cares more than anyone else. Oh my god. How had he not realized this before?
"EDDIE!" "WHAT?" he shouts, startled. Buck is looking at him with a strange expression.
"I’ve been calling your name five times. Are you okay?" Eddie tries to control his breathing.
No, I’m not okay. I love you. So much. I just realized I want to spend my life making you happy. I want us to go get my son, go back to LA, grab your things and move in with us forever.
"Yeah, yeah," he answers. "I’m fine."
Buck keeps looking at him. "Okay, if you say so. Try to get some sleep, and in a few hours, I’ll wake you to switch." Eddie closes his eyes, trying not to think about how to make the future he just imagined a reality and focus on his son first.
10:00
Eddie feels something softly brushing his face, and he smiles in his sleep. “Eddie.” The voice whispers as the hand keeps stroking him, and Eddie never wants to wake up.
“Eddie, you need to wake up.” The voice is a little louder, and the hand stops caressing him. No, he wants it to come back. Suddenly, something pokes his face.
“Ow!” He wakes up with a start and sees Buck smiling at him.
“I thought I’d have to throw water on you.”
“Idiot,” Eddie grumbles, but he can’t help noticing how sweet Buck looks, smiling at him. God. He wants to see that face every time he wakes up.
Eddie, stop.
“Have we arrived?” he asks, disoriented. “Not yet, we’re about an hour away. I thought we could stop and have some breakfast.” That will delay him from getting to Chris, but Buck deserves a break.
“Okay, let’s eat.” The restaurant they enter is pretty busy at this time, but they find a table for two. While Buck talks with the waitress, Eddie feels like his head is about to explode. His thoughts are racing. Couldn’t he have realized his feelings at any other time? Not just before seeing his son after months and reuniting with his parents. Ugh, his parents. Another thought he’s been avoiding this whole trip but needs to face now. And Buck. What was he going to do about that? How long could he ignore it? Because right now, he wasn’t doing a very good job.
“Eddie?”
“Uh?”
“Are you really okay?” Buck looks at him, concerned. “I know you’re nervous about Chris and your parents, but you’ve been acting really weird ever since I told you about Tommy.”
“What?” Eddie says.
“Because of Tommy?” Crap. Has he noticed?
“Look, I get that you’re friends too, and just because we broke up doesn’t mean you have to pick sides. I wouldn’t mind if you still hang out. I don’t want you to feel awkward.” Buck looks at him, resigned.
“Buck—”
“Though maybe you could not talk to me about him? Things ended a little strange between us, and I don’t want him too present in my life. I know that’s a lot to ask, but—”
“BUCK!”
“Yes?”
“I couldn’t care less about Tommy.”
“Oh.” Buck relaxes. “Then what’s going on? Is it Chris?”
Well, here he goes.
“Chris, my parents, you, everything.”
“Me?” Buck looks confused. “What’s going on with me?”
“Nothing bad. Look, can we focus on why we’re here and talk about this when we get home, okay?” Eddie prays Buck will agree to wait.
“What? No! You can’t tell me something’s going on with me and then make me wait maybe days to find out. Do you know me? I’m going to overthink it and drive myself crazy.” Buck looks worried.
“God, ugh, fine. But don’t freak out, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Ihavefeelingsforyouandit’sdrivingmecrazy,” Eddie blurts out.
“What?”
“Ihavefeelingsforyouandit’sdrivingmecrazy.”
“Eddie—” Eddie feels his face growing redder, his breathing speeding up. He can’t look at Buck.
“Eddie,” Buck says softly.
“Yes?” Eddie whispers.
“Can you look at me and say that again? Slower this time, please.”
“No,” Eddie blurts out, and runs out of the restaurant. Once outside, he realizes that wasn’t the best idea. Buck has the keys, and they’re in a small town an hour away from El Paso. Where was he going to go? I think I’m losing my mind.
“Eddie!” he hears, and sees Buck running toward him.
“Yes?” he asks innocently.
“Yes? You can’t just do that! Can you please look me in the eyes and repeat what you said inside?” The hope in Buck’s face gives Eddie a bit of courage, but still...
“I can’t,” he whispers, looking down.
“Why?” Buck whispers back.
“I can’t look you in the face, Buck, and not see what I need to see,” Eddie admits, feeling like if that happened, he might not recover.
“Eddie...” Buck’s hands gently touch Eddie’s face, lifting it so their eyes meet. “Please… look at me and say it again. I promise everything will be okay.” Buck’s eyes shine as he looks at Eddie, making him speak.
“I have feelings for you. I think I’ve always had them, but I didn’t realize it until now. I want you to come with me to get Chris, and for the three of us to go back together. I want us to be a family.”
“Eddie,” Buck’s smile makes his eyes shine even brighter. “I want that too.”
“Really?” Eddie asks, unsure.
“Of course,” Buck smiles.
“How could I not want that?” They both smile, their eyes filling with tears, and they lean in until their lips meet. Eddie never thought the best kiss of his life would be in some random small town in the middle of a roadside parking lot, but here they are. They keep kissing for a while, smiling, with a tear or two falling, until a car horn startles them, pulling them apart. They laugh as they look at each other.
“Chris,” Eddie says.
“Oh, crap.”
“Um, can we continue this later?” Eddie never wants to stop, but Chris needs to be his main priority right now.
“Of course, we have time.” Buck takes his hand, and they head to the car. Eddie feels like a part of him has just been set free.
11:30
After an hour, they arrive at his parents' house. During the drive they kept glaring at each other every two seconds, smiling, and then looking away. Eddie hasn’t felt this much like a teenager in his life.
“Baby?”
“Baby?” Eddie replies with a grin. Buck starts to blush.
“I was trying something.”
“I like it.”
They both smile as they lean in and their lips touch. “We have to stop.”
“Yeah, Chris is waiting for me.” Eddie hadn’t been nervous the whole trip, but now doubts start to creep in. What if Chris was scared last night but doesn’t actually want to see him? What if the whole trip was for nothing and he’s still angry?
“Eddie, hey, look at me.”
“Buck, what if he doesn’t want to see me?”
“Eddie, you’re his father, of course he wants to see you. It’s Chris. It’s time… it’s been too long. It’s time to pick up your son.”
“You’re right.” He’s the adult, the father. His son is sick, and he needs to be with him, take care of him, and bring him back home. With that decision made, he gets out of the car.
“You coming?” he asks Buck.
“I think this is something you should do alone. I’ll wait here, and when you’re ready, I’ll come in. I want to see him too,” Buck smiles.
“Okay.” He looks at the front door and walks in.
“Eddie? What are you doing here?” You can hear the surprise in Helena’s voice.
“Mom, I’m here because MY son is sick, something I should’ve heard from your mouth, but it seems you forgot?”
“Look, Eddie,” she sighs, “we didn’t tell you because, what would you have done? You’re in Los Angeles. Chris is our concern now. We were taking care of him just fine. It’s nothing serious anyway. He ate a bad taco yesterday, so you made the trip for nothing.”
“Really?” Eddie tries to stay calm when all he wants to do is yell. “He’s here because of YOUR decision. Yes, it was my fault he got angry, but he’s my son, and it’s with me he needed to work things out. I’m your son, and instead of helping and supporting me, you took away the most important thing in my life!” Eddie can feel the tears in his eyes. “And the trip for nothing? Mom, even if it was just a two-day cold, I’d want to be with my son. Although, I understand you can’t really relate to that.”
“What do you mean?”
“That your son almost died, more than once, and it didn’t matter enough for you to come see him. That your son wasn’t at his best, and you didn’t care enough to help him. That’s what I mean.”
“Eddie, it’s not the same. Chris isn’t you.”
“Chris is a thousand times better than me, Mom, no matter how much you love to undermine him. And right now, I can’t continue this conversation.”
Eddie turns and walks up the stairs to his old room. He opens the door slowly, and beneath a pile of blankets, he can see a little bundle of golden curls shifting with the sound.
“Dad?” says a confused voice.
“Chris,” Eddie sighs in relief.
“You’re here.” His son’s voice is filled with tears as Eddie crosses the room to hug him.
“I’m here,” he repeats, stroking his head and giving him kisses, holding back his own tears.
“Thanks for coming.”
“Always.”
12:30
After a while of snuggling and hugging, Eddie thinks it’s time to talk. “How are you feeling, Chris?”
“Better. I think I was a little dramatic yesterday, Dad,” he says, blushing. “You didn’t have to drive all night.”
“Hey, Chris, you’ll never be too dramatic, okay? Anytime you need me, just ask, and I’ll be there.”
“Okay,” he replies, hugging him again.
“Even when I leave home for months and stop talking to you?”
“Chris…” “I’m sorry, okay? It all felt like too much, and I didn’t understand it. I still don’t understand it fully, but I think I’m ready to listen.” “Chris, you had every right to be angry. I know you don’t get it, and it’s hard to explain. I loved your mom a lot, so much. She was my best friend and the most important person in my life for a long time. But those feelings got confused for a while and they made me make decisions I shouldn’t have made.”
“Like having me?”
“No, Chris, never think that. Do you hear me? You’ll never be a bad decision.”
“Okay.”
“When I lost her, I thought I lost all the feelings I could ever have for someone. Every other relationship felt empty because it wasn’t her, and I always thought she was everything. When I saw Kim, those feelings came back and confused me. I thought they were a sign of what I was supposed to do. But that wasn’t the case. Chris, your mom and I loved each other, but not in the right way. And I’ve been trying to compare everyone else to something that wasn’t real.”
“And now?”
“Now, I think I’m starting to understand why—what was going on with me and why I’ve been holding on to this idea for so long. Chris, I want to be honest with you.”
“Okay, Dad.”
“I might, probably, definitely, be gay.” Eddie feels Chris go still for what seems like the longest few seconds of his life, until he starts to move and grabs his hand.
“Dad, it’s okay,” he says, hugging him. “Thanks for telling me. I don’t understand everything, but I’d like to.” “Whatever you want, Chris. You can ask me anything.” This time, Eddie can’t hold back the tears.
“Okay, but can we do it on the way back to Los Angeles?” Chris looks up at him, smiling. “I miss my room, my friends, and my video games. I’m sick, and I just want to lie on the couch playing, but Grandma won’t let me.”
“Okay,” Eddie laughs through his tears, “although someone is waiting to see you.”
They both walk downstairs and out into the yard.
As soon as Buck sees them smiling, he jumps out of the car, running like a madman.
“Chris!” He hugs Chris and lifts him off the ground while Chris laughs.
“Buck, put me down!”
“One more second! I missed you, and you never let me hug you again.” Chris complains a little more, though Eddie can see he’s not actually trying to pull away.
“Buck, I think we need to make some room in the car. We’ve got one more passenger.” Buck’s smile makes Eddie feel like everything’s going to be okay.
“Yeah? I think we can make some space.”
They smile at each other for a while, realizing everything had changed for the better in just a few hours. Buck takes Eddie’s hand.
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Anything else you forgot to tell me with all these confessions?” Chris says, glancing at their hands.
“Oh,” Eddie and Buck both say at the same time, quickly letting go of each other’s hands, unsure where to start.
“Relax, as long as he doesn’t die and you find a double, I think I’m okay with Buck being my stepdad.”
“CHRIS! Oh my god…” Eddie can feel Buck laughing while Chris grins at them.
Eddie never thought he’d be so grateful for a bad taco, but it had changed his life in less than 24 hours, and he felt like everything could only get better from here.