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Catra sighed as she stepped into her room, closing the door behind her. She’d had a long day, and she felt just so overwhelmed by everything. And to make things worse, she’d ended up getting into a fight with Adora just after dinner. The fight had started over something so minor that Catra couldn’t even remember what it was about, but the fight itself was so bad that she was still upset about it. She just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry at this point. The stress of the day and the aftermath of the fight was just all weighing down on her. It was all too much. Too much.
With a small sniffle, Catra climbed onto the bed, under the covers, and curled up. She was just going to go to sleep. Yes, sleeping would fix everything… Right?
But she couldn’t sleep. No matter how much she tried to just drift off to sleep, Catra’s mind kept replaying her fight with Adora over and over and over again, until Catra was sure she’d never be able to forget a single detail of it. But the thing was… It wasn’t just this fight that Catra was thinking about now. It was every fight she and Adora had ever had. Every fight she’d had with Adora, any slight disagreements with Glimmer, with Bow, Scorpia, Perfuma, Double Trouble… With any of the people who meant the most to her. She was thinking about all the harm she’d done to her friends and loved ones in the past, all the ways she’d ever messed up.
She wanted to get the thoughts out of her mind, she wanted to do anything to stop remembering every little thing she’d ever done wrong. But she couldn’t. Catra hated getting like this. It didn’t happen as much as it used to, but it still happened- and this was worse than usual. Even trying to think about cute and happy moments with her loved ones wasn’t helping at all. She was normally able to force the bad feelings back and bottle them up by thinking about all the good moments. It wasn’t working this time- why wasn’t it working?
“You can’t break. You can’t. You need to stay strong, no matter what.” Catra whispered to herself, now sitting up on her bed, rocking back and forth to try to soothe herself. She was trying to convince herself to be okay, because she felt like she had to be okay. But, well… That… Didn’t really work.
After just a little while of trying desperately to keep herself from breaking, Catra felt the tears slowly dampening her face. She couldn’t stop them now. She’d been bottling everything up for far too long, and she couldn’t stop it.
When she heard the knock on her door and Adora’s voice asking if she could come in, Catra quickly sniffled and wiped her face, before hiding her face under her blanket slightly. She couldn’t let Adora know that she’d started to cry. And, well… The tears were still spilling, so hiding her face was necessary.
“Hey, Catra. Are you okay?” Adora asked, walking over to the bed. She felt bad about the way they’d fought. She’d been under so much stress lately, but she never meant to snap at Catra the way she had, which led to the fight that had upset Catra so much.
“I’m fine.” Catra mumbled, her voice sounding muffled and slightly odd. And Adora noticed that immediately, considering she’d known Catra most of their lives.
“Catra, please. Talk to me. Tell me the truth. I know you’re not fine.” Adora said gently, laying a gentle hand on Catra’s shoulder over the blanket.
“I said I’m fine.” Catra insisted, her voice getting shakier as she sniffled again. Adora couldn’t quite figure out what was wrong, but knew it was something. So once again, she spoke.
“Please. Talk to me. I’m here for you, okay? I love you so much. Please let me help you.” She said, her voice still gentle.
“I said… That I-I’m…” Catra tried to insist again, but she trailed off mid-sentence. Adora’s gentle words had broken the last little bit of control Catra had, and her quiet tears were suddenly replaced by loud sobs as Catra cried.
Adora’s eyes widened and she immediately sat on the bed, moving the blanket and pulling Catra onto her lap, holding her beloved wife close.
“It’s okay, my love… I got you… I’m here… It’ll be okay, you’ll be okay…” she whispered, letting Catra cry into her shoulder, rubbing her back gently to soothe her. After a bit, Catra’s tears stopped, and she just sniffled and held tightly to Adora, as though afraid she’d disappear. Adora was more than okay with this- she herself was holding Catra snugly against her, rocking gently as one might when comforting a child, while rubbing her back still.
“I’m so sorry I made you cry like this, Catra.” Adora said softly, pressing light kisses to Catra’s face. But Catra shook her head.
“It… It wasn’t just this. There’s been so much stress… So much pressure… We’ve been fighting so much lately… A-And it feels like everyone’s always mad at me all the time… Not to mention… I still don’t feel like I deserve forgiveness for… Before.” Catra said, sniffling again.
Adora frowned when Catra spoke. Catra usually seemed pretty nonchalant about things. Sure, she got bothered by stuff sometimes, but in general, it always seemed like Catra was unfazed and pretty unaffected by most things. She didn’t realize just how much her wife had been bottling up inside.
Taking this momentary silence as unhappiness, Catra began to feel close to tears again. Was Adora mad at her? She should’ve never allowed herself to get like this, and she definitely should never have let Adora see her like this. See her so weak.
“I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m being weak. I’m sorry that…” Catra’s slow but steady downward spiral was interrupted by a light kiss on her lips from Adora, who wanted to stop it before it inevitably got worse. She knew how bad the downward spirals could get- she got them herself often enough.
“Oh, honey…” Adora said softly, kissing Catra lightly on the lips again looking into her eyes.
“You’re not weak. I promise. Crying isn’t weak, being upset isn’t weak, needing comfort isn’t weak. It’s clear you’ve been bottling up your feelings for awhile now, though… And Catra, that’s not good. You need to let yourself feel things. And you don’t need to hide your feelings from me, okay? I’ll always be here for you, because I love you.” She spoke in a gentle voice, and Catra simply nodded.
She felt so safe, so loved, here in Adora’s arms. She loved her wife so much, and would never not be confused at how such an amazing woman loved her. Though she certainly wouldn’t complain.
“Thank you, I… I love you… So much.” Catra said in a small voice, lightly kissing Adora’s face then kissing her lips.
Feeling a bit better now, Catra shifted slightly in Adora’s arms, cuddling against her comfortably before yawning. She felt exhausted now. Emotions were exhausting.
“Are you sleepy, love?” Adora asked, petting Catra’s hair gently. Catra just nodded, feeling safe and loved and comfortable being snuggled up against Adora. This made Adora chuckle softly as she pulled the blanket up over them, keeping Catra close.
“Sleep then, my love. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Adora promised, knowing it would help Catra sleep. The rest of the things she needed to do could wait until tomorrow. Her wife needed her here right now.
“I love you so much…” Catra mumbled sleepily against Adora’s chest, making the blonde smile.
“I love you too, Catra,” was the quiet response Adora gave- and the last thing Catra heard as she drifted off to sleep, safe in her love’s arms.