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“Morning,” Jungwon says, unaware of the storm he created just by entering the kitchen. “Are you guys ready?”
He goes around the table to grab an apple, taking a bite before looking up. He freezes for a moment when he finds six pairs of eyes staring at him. If it were anybody else, Jungwon would be uncomfortable, but it's his members. They can't ever make him feel that way, not after experiencing everything with them.
Still, he's shy with their intense gazes. He tucks some hair behind his ear. “Is everything okay?” He asks.
“You're blond,” Sunoo answers, rather unhelpfully.
“Oh,” Jungwon touches his bangs. “Did I forget to mention that I was getting my hair done?”
The stylist team had decided it was time for him to go blond. He's the only member who hasn't so far, short stint with the transitional colour notwithstanding. He's had it for a few days to go fully red, so he doesn't really count it. Neither did the stylists.
Although hesitant, Jungwon went with it. It had taken a good chunk of yesterday, his stylist careful with bleach on his sensitive scalp.
When he was done, the noonas had fawned over him, telling him how handsome he looked. That the colour, ash blond, has suited him well.
Then, he'd arrived late at night, finding Sunoo and Jake sleeping. He had gone to bed not giving much thought to the members’ reaction. They've practically done every colour in the rainbow, so what if he dyed his hair blond?
Now, with his members staring, he isn't so sure.
“Umm, yeah,” he continues, “management thought I should go blond for this comeback.”
And he's more than a little self-conscious when he asks, “does it look good? I don't know if I actually pull it–“
“You look amazing!” Jake exclaims. A grin starts to form on his face. “it suits you, definitely a good shade.”
That's all the members need apparently, as praises start to race out of them, all smiling just as wide as Jake.
“You look handsome, Jungwon-ah,” Heeseung says with an appreciative nod, and his lips curl upwards showing his pearly teeth.
Sunghoon gives a low whistle that has Jungwon malfunctioning for a moment. “Really handsome, but still cute at the same time”, which causes someone to groan and Jungwon to melt a little. He could always count on Sunghoon to call him cute. “I can't believe it took you four years to go blond.”
“Right? I think most of us were blond by 2022 or so.” Sunoo says, “but I guess they saved the best for last. It looks great, Won-ah.”
Jungwon feels his cheeks burning. He's usually more confident than this. Or at least, good at pretending to be so, batting his lashes and saying I know, before he laughs along. He does his silly dances or directs the flattery back at his members, who, in his opinion, deserve all the praise.
But he's been told enough times that blond wouldn't suit him, that he shouldn't dye his hair. That long hair doesn't look good on him, and even if it did, it wasn't what people, fans, wanted from him.
It has put enough doubts in his head to delay the colour as much as possible.
“I–” he stops and clears his throat. He wants to pretend he's confident now, but just for once, he wants reassurances. “You really think so? And the length?” He touches the hair at the back of his head. It reaches just below his nape, which is a rare occurrence for him. “Does it look okay? I don't think people like it?”
He sounds small in his own ears. The members frown at him, sympathy clear on their faces. They've all been there before; insecurities surfacing in the face of something new, doubts that don't go away.
Before anyone can say anything though, Ni-Ki stands up. He's been silent since Jungwon entered the kitchen, but it's normal for him. He's not a morning person and he can't function quite well immediately upon waking up.
He stands in front of Jungwon, narrow eyes studying him thoroughly.
“You like this hair length, right, hyung?” He asks.
“I– yeah, I do.”
Ni-Ki shrugs. “That's it. That's your answer right there. You can't keep letting people control your choices, fans or not.”
He breaks into a small smile. With gentle fingers, he swipes Jungwon's bangs before letting them fall into place again. “Hyungs are not wrong, you look good.” his smile turns a little mischievous. “Plus, they got your eyebrows right, so you don't have room to complain.”
Jungwon's thoughts settle for a bit. Ni-Ki says things so matter-of-factly, so simply, that Jungwon can't help but listen to him. The insecurities don't disappear, but they go to the back burner, not bothering him for now.
“Thank you.” he says earnestly. “And your eyebrows weren't that bad.” Which gives him a playful smack on the arm because it's a blatant lie and they both know it.
He turns to face the rest of their hyungs, who all support the same adoring looks in their eyes.
Except one.
The person who hasn't said a word yet.
“Jay hyung?” Jungwon calls, a teasing look on his face.
“Oh, don't mind our Jay-ah, I just think you officially broke his brain.” Jake tells him, tone creepily bright.
He tackles Jay into a headlock then, which is apparently the push he needed to break out of his trance.
“Yah!” He shouts, muffled. “The fuck, Jake? Get off!”
They struggle back and forth until Jake releases him and runs to sit next to Sunoo, who gives him an unimpressed look.
Jungwon skips until he's standing next to Jay, and he knows the grin on his face is starting to look stupid. “Hyungie, you didn't say what you think. Don't you like it?”
Jay chokes a little. He's still staring, but the previous trance has melted into the fond look Jungwon can never get used to.
“Fishing for compliments now?” He teases. “You know we think you look good in anything, don't you?”
The flush returns to his cheeks, and Jungwon doesn't try to hide. “It's nice to hear it every once in a while.” He admits.
It's the cue his members need to start all over again, ruffling his hair and drowning him in teasing praises. He doesn't think his makeup artist is going to need to use any blush on him today with how hot his face feels.
The members scatter soon after, each to make sure their bags were packed. It leaves Jay and Jungwon at the table.
“Hey,” Jay says. His tone is low and soft. “No matter what anyone says today, I want you to know that you do look stunning.”
The sincerity of his words twists Jungwon's stomach.
“Don't let the comments get to you. It's about time to do what you want, not what everyone else demands.”
And for a moment, sitting in their kitchen and listening to the members run around, Jungwon rests his head on Jay's shoulder.
“I'll try my best,” he says.
“That's all we ask from you.”