Chapter Text
Her life had certainly not been going well for most of her existence. There was a time during her curse, where she felt as if things were going her way… But that didn’t last long. And then, Henry came into her life. And for almost ten years, she was happy. He was the center of her universe, and all of the pain and trials she had gone through, seemed to be worth it. He was everything.
But then, like all good things, it ended. Painfully.
He started looking at her as if she were the Evil Queen, even though she had only ever tried to be the best mother she possibly could be, every single day. He ran off to find his “real” mother. Brought that woman into their lives, which eventually ended her curse.
Then after the curse broke, it had been one shit show after another. The mob, wraith, then Henry deciding he didn’t want anything to do with her until she saved his “real” mother and grandmother.
Even when she did save the day, he looked right past her. She was barely holding onto a tree for support after risking her life to end the death curse, and he didn’t even bother to see if she was okay… she wasn’t. He just ran to Emma, calling her “mom” right there while she was struggling to stay upright. Later, she eventually got a “thank you” and a hug from him. It was the best hug he had given her in years, so she couldn’t complain about that. But he didn’t even ask her to come to dinner, let alone decide to move back in with her. He stayed with his “real” mother, Emma.
But she had… hope. One of the worst things in the world, because it only tricks you into thinking things will get better, which makes the inevitable fall all the more painful.
Emma invited her to the welcome back party. Progress. Maybe everyone was willing to give her another chance.
Wrong.
Upon entering Granny’s, she was greeted with several disgusted glares, and Leroy grabbed the closest knife to wield.
What a warm welcome. Actually… not the worst she had gotten in her days…
She did get a few moments with Henry. That made everything worth it. Until he got more interested in the other guests, and she had no one to talk to. It was silly to think that Emma would want to talk to her. Even though she desperately wanted more positive attention from the blonde who was unraveling her life.
Sitting alone in the booth was a pain she was used to. Being unwanted. At least people wanted her lasagna once they believed she hadn’t poisoned it.
She tried to slip out… not that anyone was paying attention to her.
Except… Emma noticed, and followed her outside the diner.
Perhaps she wasn’t invisible, after all.
Emma Swan. She came into Storybrooke as a threat. Not only was she the one destined to break the curse, but she was who Regina had feared for ten years: Henry’s birth mother deciding to come back and be a part of his life. To take him away from her. And she had just about entirely succeeded.
But after butting heads and fighting, Regina developed a soft spot for Ms. Swan. While she began as a formidable foe, she had become almost a friend. Perhaps one day, they could be more than that. Perhaps they could raise Henry together (and not just through joint custody… which she would take over never living with him again).
Emma seemed to be the only one, aside from Henry, who saw any potential in Regina. She had hope that Regina could change. And that meant way more than it probably should have, especially considering she was the daughter of Snow White. But… maybe that was why it meant so much that she believed in Regina.
Of course, Emma had to say that Henry was the one who asked for her to be invited to the party. Even though hearing it wasn’t Emma’s idea sort of hurt, knowing her son wanted her to be there, made up for it.
But then, Regina decided to ask if she could see Henry more often, and Emma had the audacity to say that she didn’t think that was the best idea. Like she had any idea what was best for her son.
It also stung that Dr. Hopper betrayed her trust by talking to Emma behind her back about their sessions. When she confronted him about it, he said he was only trying to support her willingness to change. But this was precisely why she didn’t trust the people of this town. No one knew how to keep a secret. You would think they would have learned that lesson.
She never expected someone to kill Archie. Who would do that?
When Emma and David brought her in for questioning, she had no idea that Archie had been murdered. Of course, they all thought she had done it. And why wouldn’t they? She was the Evil Queen. Who else would they think was capable of taking an innocent’s life?
But… Emma believed her, and they let her go.
That was fine, until the Charmings came to her house and were adamant that they saw her kill, Archie. Apparently, Emma had used magic. Of course, she would have magic. She had everything that made Regina special. Magic. Henry…
“Henry believed in you. His heart is going to break when he finds out what you did.”
Hearing that Emma no longer believed that she was innocent, cut deep. Almost broke her, but she would not let them see her weak. Emma’s thoughts and opinions about Regina had been meaning more and more to her as time went by. “I will not let you poison Henry against me.”
“That’s an interesting word choice. Since you already did.”
That was an accident and a mistake. One of the few choices she regretted. “I want to see him. He deserves to hear my side of the story. He’s, my son!”
“He’s not! He’s mine. And after this, you’re not getting anywhere near him.”
Her worst fears were realized at that moment. She had lost Henry. But she had also lost Emma. Whatever they had or could have had, was gone.
The Charmings then tried restraining her the same way they did back in the Enchanted Forest. This felt exactly like when they tried to execute her. Was that their plan again? All hope really was lost.
“You will not keep my son from me.” She pushed Emma with magic out of impulse. A last-ditch effort to save face. “Maybe some of your new found magic can save you now.”
“I don’t need it. I already won. There’s no way Henry will swallow your lies about Archie now. You can pretend all you want, but we know how you are, and who you always will be.”
Regina thought that over, and poofed away to the safety of her vault. Even though safety wasn’t her top priority. Afterall, what was there to live for without Henry or Emma?
***
She paced in the secret room inside of her vault. She rarely went there, unless she really wanted to be left alone. Not that anyone could get into her vault, but even if they did, there’s no way they would find her there.
She had decided what she was going to do before she even got there. She honestly didn’t know what she was still thinking about. She even knew exactly which potion she was going to use. She slipped the vial into her jacket pocket.
There was no going back.
She thought about trying to intercept Henry before Emma got to him, but there was no way he would ever believe her. Plus, he would probably respond the same way as when he woke up while trying to help communicate with Aurora, and she had been watching over him. “What are you doing here?” How was it possible that her sweet little boy could be so cruel to her? Not that she didn’t deserve most of it. But if someone as pure as Henry hated her, that just proved how evil and unredeemable she truly was.
Still, she had to see him… One last time.
***
She sat in her Mercedes, far enough away from where the bus would drop Henry off so that he wouldn’t see her. So, hopefully, no one would see her. She was only here to get one last look at her precious boy, even if it was through the rearview mirror of her car.
She should have expected Emma to be there, waiting for him. When Emma pulled him over to a bench, she knew he was being told about Archie. And he would immediately believe without a shadow of a doubt that she had done it.
Watching Henry so easily seek comfort in the arms of Emma, in a way he hadn’t done with her since he was little, was the absolute final straw. Regina was reduced to a puddle of tears. She had failed her son. Hopefully he would be better off without her.
***
After going through every single photo album of Henry, and an entire bottle of cider, she sat at the desk in her study, staring at the blank page before her.
She decided she would leave one letter. No one cared, so she barely left that. But she had some thoughts she wanted to get out before she left.
Dear Ms. Swan… Emma,
Congratulations. You did win. I hope you and Henry are very happy together, in a way he never would have been with me. Thank you for giving me the first ten years of his life. They truly were the happiest and most meaningful years of mine. I hope that in time, he looks back on his childhood, and finds something positive there.
I know you don’t believe me, but I want you to know that I had nothing to do with Archie’s death. I sincerely hope that you do find whoever killed him, and bring them to justice. He was one of the only people in this town who ever actually listened to me… even if he was being paid to, it was nice. He was nice. He didn’t deserve this.
You can tell your parents that I’m sorry for the trouble I caused them. It’s over now.
Why am I writing this to you? Believe it or not, I grew to care about you, Emma. When I lost Daniel the second time, he told me to love again. I hadn’t realized until that moment, that I was already falling in love with someone… You. I know that seems crazy. Or perhaps it’s the bottle of cider talking… but I, Regina Mills, love you, Emma Swan. I didn’t think it was possible to love another person. But then you stormed into my life and lopped a limb off of my childhood apple tree, and changed my world. I would have loved seeing what we both were capable of… Together. I know that nothing would have happened between us… Afterall, you’re The Savior, and I’m the Evil Queen. As you said, you know who I will always be… But it was fun to dream about.
Anyways, enclosed in this envelope is the key to my mansion. It’s yours and Henry’s, if you want it. His room is just the way he left it, and his important documents and the key to my car are sitting on my desk in the study.
You’ll find me in my room. I changed the lock on my vault, so you should be able to open it… if you want to. You don’t owe me anything, but if you decide to honor my last wish, I’d like to be laid to rest next to my father in the Mills mausoleum.
I’m sorry I never said it in person… probably because I couldn’t survive one more rejection… but seeing as that no longer matters: I love you, Emma Swan.
Yours,
Regina Mills
She trifolded the letter, and slipped it into the envelope with the house key. She put a spell on it, so it would find its way to Emma after her heart had stopped beating.
She made sure everything was on the desk as it should be, before she headed up to her bedroom for the final time.
She changed into her favorite pair of slacks and red blouse. Red was always one of her colors (black, obviously, another). She touched up her makeup because she had done quite a bit of crying, and she figured no one would bother wasting time on making her look good once she was gone. Hell, she’d be lucky if nothing horrible happened to her once she was no longer using her body. She didn’t want to think about that, but knew the reality of what happened to fallen enemies. And if anyone deserved that… she did.
She laid down on her bed, and stared at the vial of shimmering yellow liquid.
She took a deep breath, and downed the contents. How fitting that her last taste in this life would be like most of her waking moments had been: bitter.
Everything seemed to slow. What felt like ice ran through her veins to every crevice of her body. As if she were freezing from the inside. But it was almost calming in a strange way.
Her breaths became slower and more difficult to draw with each one, until they stopped all together.
***
Across town, the Charmings, Emma, and Henry were getting ready to head to Granny’s for dinner. Emma and Henry would be leaving on some adventure with Gold, but she had convinced him to wait until after they ate. She wanted a calm family meal before the next life altering event.
“So, what did Regina say when you told her Archie is okay?” Emma had assumed that David was going to tell her, since he had gone off looking for Regina the last they had spoken.
“I… ah… didn’t find her.”
Emma gaped at her father. Was he not going to mention that if she hadn’t asked? “Maybe call her? We should tell her he’s okay. That we were wrong. She felt horrible when we didn’t believe her. I feel horrible for being wrong. For… the things I said to her.” Emma had kicked herself the moment Archie and Pongo walked into the loft. How had she been so quick to abandon the faith she had in Regina that she was trying to be a better person? After meeting Cora, it was no wonder why Regina was the way that she was. And yet, Emma could not deny that Regina had done an incredible job raising Henry. How that was possible with a mother like Cora, was beyond her.
Ever since Emma stopped the mob and the wraith from killing Regina, she had felt differently about the woman who had started as her adversary. She saw herself in the former queen. Someone who put on a brave front, but perhaps those walls were to spare a lonely woman more pain. And the connection they had in the courthouse with Jefferson’s hat… Perhaps there was something more than met the eye with Regina. Deep down, Emma wanted to have faith in and protect Henry’s mother. To get to know her better. She just wanted her to put in the effort and show her she was ready to move past revenge. Afterall, the woman had tried to poison her just recently.
“We were wrong about this. Yes. But she has done plenty of horrible things in her past. Would feeling some remorse kill her?”
“It’s not right to let her keep thinking we think she killed Archie, when we know perfectly well, he’s okay.”
Snow put her hand on Emma’s shoulder. “Emma, relax. She’ll be fine.”
Just then, an envelope appeared on the table, addressed in elegant handwriting to “Ms. Swan.”