Archive of Our Own

As with so many things concerning Frost, our first meeting was unexpected.

The great balls have always been common in the Sidhe courts. The courts never really celebrated them together, but it wasn't unusual for the nobles of the various courts to attend the balls held in other courts. Even Queen Andais once made time to attend a ball in the Seelie court once a year, though never on her own.

By virtue of being the head of the Queen's Ravens, I attended with her.

By virtue of being Unseelie and obviously not fully Sidhe, I was mostly ignored by the glittering throng. It hardly mattered to me, as I was not there to be watched or to take turns on the dance floor with whatever bright lady or gentleman should take a fancy to me. I was there as a guard, there to protect my Queen if necessary. It would have taken a very stupid person to break the sworn peace of a ball by attacking openly, but a proxy could allow someone to keep to the word if not the spirit.

It was, perhaps, an excuse. After all, Andais was quite capable of defending herself. Staying close to her side meant I could say my duty kept me from dancing. For the Seelie, though, it meant they didn't have to do more than ask out of politeness and everybody could avoid any awkwardness.

To this day, I'm not certain what drew my attention to him in the first place. Perhaps it was the fact that he looked every bit as out of place as I felt. Where the Seelie court was gold and heat, all summer in a day, he was silver and moonlight, the very depths of winter.

I am not a man often given to poetry, but whenever I recall that first sight of him, that is what I remember.

Andais realized quickly that something had caught my eye. "What is it, Doyle? What do you see?" she asked, as I was not yet her Darkness.

It was...a very different time for us all.

She followed my gaze and smiled. A smile of amusement that was not intent on the promise of blood. Not that night, at least. "Or, perhaps, I should ask who?"

I cleared my throat. "Who," I agreed, because one did not forego answering a queen. "I have not seen him before at one of these gatherings."

"Who?" Taranis leaned forward from where he was seated on Andais' other side. They had been flirting steadily all night. Neither of them meant anything by it, especially as Taranis' wife sat on his other side while Andais' consort was currently dancing. Andais pointed and the golden king followed her hand before frowning. "Ah. Yes, that is Frost. He has been among us for several years. It isn't often that he comes to these functions, though."

Which explained why I hadn't seen him before. Looking at Taranis, though, I could see why he probably didn't come. The king of the Seelie barely glanced his way before turning back to Andais with a dismissive wave of his hand. The other man, this Frost, had already been forgotten. Completely unimportant to him.

On the other hand, Andais was watching the man as closely as I was. He looked up from across the room, cloak flashing slightly as he moved. His eyes caught mine and we both paused. I have no idea to this day what my body language was in that moment, but it was enough for Andais to raise her hand, catching my attention. "Go," she told me. "I am safe enough without you at my side for the moment." There were other Ravens with us, of course. Andais waved Rhys forward to take my place before waving me off again before I could protest. "Your loyalty does you credit, Doyle, but you don't have to stay at my side the entire night."

Rhys winked and nodded to me, standing to attention beside Andais' chair. He wasn't quite tall enough to see over it from behind. I hesitated a moment, but finally bowed. "As you wish, my queen." To stay would be an insult to Rhys, as good as saying that I didn't trust him to protect her and would be dangerously close to refusing an order. I stepped aside and made my way around the edges of the floor toward where Frost stood.

As I drew closer, there were things that began to stand out; things that couldn't be easily seen from across the room. For instance, the flash of silver that I had seen from the dais was not his cloak. No, the silver was his hair, finer than any wire I had ever seen. I wondered, for a moment, if it would feel like wire as well. It was a thought I pushed away, something to be thought of another time.

We were of a similar height and build. I thought, perhaps, his reach was a touch longer than mine, but I might outweigh him. In a fair fight, I wouldn't lay odds on which of us would win. Not without being able to watch him in action, first.

What impressed me more, however, was the fact that I could see the same calculations running through his eyes as were tallying in my mind. We were, I think, coming to the same conclusion. It was interesting. I wanted to test myself against him, to see how it would play out. It was, at that moment, almost purely academic.

I stopped about twenty paces from him, both of us taking the time to look one another over in silent appraisal. I will admit that I liked what I saw, even then, though it was nearly an afterthought. A momentary consideration of what he would look like in my bed with all that fine silver hair spread out beneath us. My mind was more concerned with strength of arm rather than other, perhaps more interesting pursuits.

I have never asked what Frost thought when he looked upon me that day. It isn't something that we've ever discussed. But we did not talk at that first meeting. We stood only a few minutes, watching one another before his mouth quirked up into a rueful half smile. He inclined his head as to an equal, then turned on his heel and walked out of the ballroom.

I didn't follow, as he knew I wouldn't. My place was at with my queen so long as we were in the Seelie sithen. Still, I remember standing there a breath longer, wondering if he would return before I turned to make my way back to the dais.

Andais looked up as Rhys abdicated his place to me. "Well," she said after a moment. "That was rather anti-climatic."

Privately, I agreed. Outwardly, I simply settled myself at her shoulder once more. "Perhaps it was simply not the right time," I suggested blandly. "The courts are not so large. No doubt we shall meet each other again."

"No doubt."

Andais may have been willing to say more, but her consort chose that moment to return to her side. She smiled brightly as he took her hand, drawing her forward and out onto the dance floor. Theirs was a match of true love and I was happy for her. I may have loved her for some time, but it was a desire that would never be fulfilled. So I stood, and I watched, and I protected her.

Still, for the rest of that night, I found myself scanning the dancers not for a flash of raven dark hair but of bright silver. I was intrigued, yes, but I was also patient. We were both Sidhe, after all. We had all the time we needed.

 

I didn't expect a handful of years to pass before I met Frost again. As time goes in Faerie, it wasn't long. We don't have the same concerns about time that those mortals who once followed us had.

(I still try not to think about them. The ones who believed we left them of our own volition rather than not being able to help them as our magic faded. Sometimes, it's easier not to remember.)

It was mid-winter. Not quite Yule, because the proper celebration of Yule would be held only for those of the court and those specifically invited. The Seelie were starting to pull away from the Unseelie even then, starting to distance themselves from us, but both sides at least tried to make things seem normal at least once a year.

Though I normally stayed at Andais' side during a ball, I had let Rhys have my place again while I took a place on the floor. Rhys was sharp-eyed and deadly all on his own, even without taking his former powers into account. He could protect the queen just fine if something happened on the dais. If anything happened on the ground, I wanted to be closer to be able to stop it.

Were I perfectly honest with myself, I would have noted that it also meant I had a better chance of seeing just who Taranis had brought in his entourage. I couldn't see the silver-haired Frost among them. I would be lying to say that I wasn't disappointed at that moment, but it also wasn't the most important thing on my mind. Somebody would have to be incredibly stupid to attempt to harm the queen, her consort or their son during the ball. It didn't mean it could not happen.

I needn't have worried. The food and the early entertainment went off without any problems, which was the best that could be said. The after supper entertainment tended to be different in the Unseelie courts. The Seelie court preferred dance and illusion. It wasn't a surprise when their king was Taranis, King of Light and Illusion. He had been a god of light and summer, back when we had been considered gods.

Andais, on the other hand, was the Queen of Air and Darkness. She had been a war goddess. I think that some of the people who once worshiped us still called tribute to her during battle. Her taste in entertainment always had and always would run darker than Taranis'.

Which, in all honesty, was why I was surprised when Taranis stood after the plates had been cleared away, turning to Andais. I could see Rhys tense, readying himself for anything. Instead, the Seelie king simply smiled, raising his glass. "My dear Andais. I know that you normally provide the entertainment entirely, but my court has recently acquired a fighter that I would like to test against one of your own. If you would permit, of course. I think it would be interesting for us all to see."

While it wasn't rude to do so, it was far out of the ordinary for Taranis. Though a good fighter himself, he tended to consider fighting to be a necessary evil. By extension, I suppose he considered the Unseelie court to be some necessary evil. Or simply evil, even then. For him to put forward one of his own for one of Andais' entertainments was...extraordinary.

Movement on the other side of the Great Hall caught my attention and I turned, straightening in shock. I don't know where they had hidden him, but Frost now stood apart from the rest of the Seelie court. Perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised, since that court held some of the greatest illusionists of our race, but I was. It was possible, of course, that they hadn't hidden him at all. I could simply have been looking too hard to find him.

Unlikely, yes, but I suppose it could have happened.

He took off his cloak, revealing a silvery-grey tunic and grey leather trousers. They complimented his strikingly pale skin well, I thought, tearing my eyes away to look up at Andais. I looked up only to find the queen's gaze already upon me. No doubt she remembered the other man as well as I did. She raised an eyebrow, tilting her head only slightly toward the other man. I paused a moment, then inclined mine ever so slightly.

It seemed to be the correct answer. Andais smiled, turning back to Taranis. "While this is quite out of the ordinary, I must say that you have piqued my interest. And, I dare say, the interest of the captain of my Ravens."

Every eye turned upon me at that and I stepped forward, away from the wall I had situated myself against. I reached up, undoing the clasp of my own cloak and pulling it around to drape over one arm. One of the younger guards, Nicca, came to take it from me, stepping back and out of the way. I saw one of the others do the same for Frost. I probably should have taken notice of who it was, but I couldn't look away from my opponent.

Taranis cleared his throat. To me, it sounded as though he was nervous. "I thought the captain of the Ravens didn't take part in the...floor entertainment."

"I would not command him to take part," Andais corrected him. "But I will not tell him to stand down should he wish to test your fighter himself."

So. Taranis hadn't expected me to step up. He was correct; I didn't take part in Andais' sports. As captain, I would stand back and watch, taking note of techniques and where more training was needed. I didn't even step forward to judge. I preferred to stay out of the way. This was different, for some reason I couldn't put my finger on. Perhaps I merely wanted a chance to get closer to this man who had caught my eye so many moons ago.

I think I was lying to myself about my interest even then.

We both moved forward, two stewards approaching with weapons. I deferred to Frost to choose his weapon first, though it was technically my choice as the challenged. I could fight with whatever he picked. I wanted to see what weapon he preferred.

He took a one-handed sword. I did the same. The stewards backed away, we saluted each other and we began to fight.

It wasn't an easy fight. I had been right in my assessment that we were well matched, physically. More than that, however, he was a good fighter. Better than good. I felt myself grinning as we each tried to find an opening in the other's stance, in the way that the other moved. We were feeling each other out.

During a fight like that, time has no meaning to me. I could hear the murmurs of the courts around us. I thought I could hear somebody taking bets, a common enough occurrence during the after dinner entertainments. It all went past me, my attention entirely on Frost.

What it boils down to is that I don't know how long we fought with the swords, but neither of us was going to get anywhere. Eventually, we disengaged, taking a few breaths and watching one another. Finally, Frost saluted with the sword, then held it away from his body. Not to yield, but to hand it off. "Hand to hand?" he asked, the first words I had ever heard the man say.

Smiling, I saluted as well before handing off my sword to one of the stewards who came forward. We waited for them to clear away with the weapons before crouching. Then the fight began anew.

Though we were physically a match, it was obvious that our training without weapons was very different. He was competent but I was far better. I took it easy on him for a while to see what he had, but all too soon I had him flat on the floor, my body over his, hands pinning him down. We were both breathing hard, still riding the adrenaline, and I was close enough that I could smell him.

I had expected being close to him to make me more interested in him, certainly, but I didn't expect the strength of that interest. It was more than just interest now, though. I had seen him in action now. I had him beneath me, the scent of his sweat and desire filling my nose and I found that I wanted more. Not just the fight, but to see his skin light up from inside, to see the colors paint the walls of my room. I wanted him in my bed.

I wanted.

I pulled away, pushing myself to my feet and offering my hand to Frost. He turned over, watching me for a breath before he took my hand and allowed me to pull him to his feet. The feel of his hand, calloused from sword work, only punched me harder in the stomach. Never had someone affected me so much, so quickly. Even my attraction to Andais had been a slowly built thing. Nothing like this.

It was only after I let go of his hand that I realized that there was clapping. Appreciation for our fight and the entertainment provided. Frost and I stared at each other for another breath before I let him go, taking a step back and nodding to him. He did the same before turning to bow to his king and my queen before walking back to where he had been all night. I watched him go, thinking I would find a way to corner him later in the night. Looking up to the dais, I could see that Andais and Taranis were both watching me. Taranis was very obviously unhappy, though not surprised. He hadn't expected Frost to win once I was in the ring.

Andais, on the other hand, was watching me speculatively. I didn't think my reactions had escaped her notice in the least. I let out a breath through my nose, bowing deeply toward the dais before I turned the other direction to reclaim my cloak from Nicca.

 

I didn't get a chance to speak with Frost again that night. There had been simply too much to do after the ball. It was another couple of years, unfortunately, until I had the chance to see him again.

After Frost lost to me at the ball, Taranis withdrew. The Seelie court didn't issue invitations to the Unseelie court and their refusals of Adanis' invitations were only polite enough not to give her anything to complain about. The Seelie themselves kept their distance as well, not wanting to earn the wrath of their king.

Mostly, it meant that Taranis was throwing a tantrum and there was nothing to do but to wait it out.

I was hardly bored, of course. I had my duties to attend to. There was always training to be done, the various houses to deal with and standing guard for Andais and Cel when they went out of the sithen. It worked to occupy my days, for the most part.

However, Frost often occupied my dreams. It wasn't that I hadn't had such dreams before. I was, after all, a fully grown man and the Sidhe have puberty as well. But it was the first time in a very long time that a single person had so dominated my dreams. Even Andais had never held so much sway over my mind.

Eventually, Taranis' tantrum burned itself out. They usually did, though the amount of time could vary. The first clue we had that it had ended was an invitation to the autumnal solstice celebrations.

Were Andais less politic, things might have escalated. A war goddess might crave battle, but craving was different from doing. Especially when she knew she could take the higher ground.

Which was how I came to be with Prince Essus in the Seelie sithen.

I certainly hadn't planned on going once Andais announced that she wouldn't be attending. She could hardly allow Taranis' behaviour to go without some sort of response, but she also wanted to prove that the Unseelie were better behaved. Her brother, Essus, just happened to be in the perfect position to do so.

It wasn't until Andais ordered me to go with him that I sensed she might have an ulterior motive in sending him.

"You look to be at loose ends." Essus regarded me seriously as we approached Seelie lands. "I don't think I've seen you at one of these things without being at Andais' side."

"You haven't, my lord." Because it was true. I came as it was my duty to do so, but I had been relieved of my duties for the night to accompany Essus as part of his entourage, not as part of his guard. Essus had his Cranes, just as his sister had her Ravens. "I'm meant to...have fun."

He grinned and laughed at my discomfort. It wasn't mean, simply amused. Essus wasn't a mean man, no matter what his sister would one day become. "Have fun. Truly? You make it sound such a hardship." He shook his head. "You could do worse than to have a little fun, my friend. Perhaps find someone to pass the time with?" It was more statement than question, but he tried to make it sound like one.

I might have replied but we came to the Seelie guards at that point. They stepped aside to allow us into the sithen but I stopped outside the entrance, feeling an itchy discomfort between my shoulder blades. It made me wish for a weapon. We were being polite, however, and that meant no weapons and no making a scene if it wasn't necessary. So I simply stopped and turned to see where the feeling was coming from.

The trees around the Seelie mound were a riot of oranges and reds, the trees having been specially prepared for the ball. Surrounded by those bright, warm colors, Frost's grey and silver garments seemed more subdued than normal. I blinked at him a moment before turning back to find Essus and his guard watching me. I wasn't on duty, but I waited for him to shake his head and wave me off. More to the point, I waited for his guard to nod, staying close to him as they walked through the doorway and into the sithen before I turned and went to meet Frost.

He raised his eyes over my shoulder, watching my back as I neared him. His eyes only moved to mine once I was standing before him. I nodded my appreciation before motioning for him to walk with me.

I was surprised when he simply turned to do so, waiting for me to start walking. He fell in beside me easily, matching his steps to my own.

"I wasn't certain you would be here tonight," Frost said once we had cleared the area where the guards could easily overhear us. "When I heard that the queen was sending another in her place, I thought..." He shook his head, going silent for a few steps, gathering his thoughts. "I hoped that you would."

"Once I knew I was to escort Essus, I hoped that I would see you as well," I admitted. "Though I would have thought you would be inside with the others."

Frost made a derisive sound, glancing back toward the mound. "No," he said, turning his gaze back to me. "I would be tolerated, but not welcomed."

That was a feeling I was well acquainted with when it came to the Seelie court. "I knew that Taranis wasn't fond of you, but that can be said of many."

"The court is a reflection of the king," he replied, pushing his cloak aside to free his arms. I tried very hard not to look. Or, rather, be caught looking. "I have my place here on strength of arms and magic. It is enough that they do not actively object to my presence. I am not..." He trailed off, mouth twisting slightly as he tried to put it into words.

I had been patient this long. I could wait a little longer.

Instead, he changed topics. "Taranis means to make war," he finally said, looking out, away from the mound. "He hasn't said it in as many words, but it is coming." He made an outward motion, encompassing the area. Or perhaps meaning a specific place. I didn't know the area so I could hardly guess. "There is a Christian monastery not far from here. The head of the order saw Taranis while he travelled several years ago. The man practically fell to his knees before the king, saying he had never before seen a being so perfect. He called Taranis an angel. I think he has even commanded the men of his order to create art in his likeness."

It sounded a very mortal thing to think. "And Taranis has likely done nothing to discourage this."

His laughter was short and bitter. "No," he agreed. "My king listens very carefully to the man, to his religion. To the stories they tell of how the angels rise up to smite demons, creatures of foul evil. Or, at least, demons are creatures that oppose angels."

I didn't like the way that sounded. "And he has taken it to mean the Unseelie court." Of course he would. Taranis was a vain man and this monk played into that vanity. But it seemed he had also turned that vanity into something more.

Frost nodded, crossing his arms. "I do not think it will happen for a while. There are many within the court that oppose going to battle. But in time, even their minds may change."

Or they could be exiled for any reason Taranis desired. There were many ways to get a war if it was wanted. Andais knew most of them.

I stopped, reaching out my hand to place it on Frost's arm. I hadn't forgotten the feel of his skin beneath my fingers, but it was secondary to our discussion. I couldn't take the time to really feel it yet. "Why tell me this?" I asked. "You are Seelie. This will be seen as a betrayal of the gravest kind."

"I am in the court, but hardly of it," Frost replied, turning to look me in the eye. "There are many things...I am Seelie because I didn't know where else to go."

It was a strange confession, but one that I let go for the moment. There would, I hoped, be time later to discuss it more. "There are always other places to go," I replied, spreading my fingers slightly to hold more of his arm. "This is not the only court in Faerie, after all."

"To hear some in the court talk, having to leave Taranis' court is a fate worse than death."

"What do you think?"

Frost went silent, looking past my shoulder again to gather his thoughts. Then he turned back to me. "I fear that Taranis would destroy all in his path to satisfy his desire for power. Even his own court."

That was my thought, too, but I would not suggest it to him aloud. It was far better for Frost to come to that conclusion himself. "Then why would you stay?"

"I do not think I would be accepted any more easily in the Unseelie court than I am here."

I tilted my head in acceptance. "Perhaps not. But I, at least, would be glad to see you there."

While not quite a declaration of what I'd started to feel about him, it was more than I'd quite meant to say. I cleared my throat, pulling my hand from his arm but keeping my gaze steady. Neither of us looked away, lost in our own thoughts until Frost broke contact, looking away into the golden wood. "I will think on it."

"That is all I would ask of you." I pulled my cloak around myself again, motioning forward. "Shall we continue our walk, then?"

It was better than simply standing still and trying not to look at one another. Frost nodded, falling in beside me once more.

We were nearing the guards again when we came across another opening in the mound. The woman framed in the doorway was plain, especially by Sidhe standards, so likely a mortal. She watched Frost, though she did not call out to him or try to attract his attention. She didn't need to, though. Frost had seen her and met her eyes before turning away.

I watched her in return before bringing my attention back to Frost. "She doesn't seem to like you much."

"She doesn't," he confirmed. "In fact, she hates me. I don't think she remembers why, but she does."

I turned that over for a moment, wondering what reason a mortal in the Seelie courts might have to hate him in particular. It was a question I wouldn't have an answer to for a long time.

 

We parted on friendly terms that night and I didn't press Frost to make a decision. The Unseelie court was open to all that the Seelie court wouldn't take in or had exiled. There were those who left Faerie entirely rather than join our court, but there were others who believed that Faerie was worth it, no matter which court one belonged to.

Given our pasts, I didn't think I would see Frost for some time. Yet, I awoke one morning only a month later to my breath pluming in front of my face. The sithen was much warmer normally, so I took it as a sign to pay attention to. I rose and dressed, pulling on heavier boots before I made my way outside.

The sun shone weakly above the horizon, light catching on the ice crystals that clung to the grass and trees around the mound. The first frost of the season crunched beneath my boots as I stepped outside and waited.

I didn't have to wait long. Within minutes, a figure stepped out from the treeline and walked toward me. The morning light caught his silver hair, making it shine brighter. He seemed more at ease like this, happier with the rest of the world shining as he did.

I should always have known that Frost would come with the winter.

Neither of us spoke as he approached, finally stopping only steps away from me. He had a sword at his hip and a small satchel over his shoulder. He glanced past me, then focused on my face once more. "The Seelie court holds no place for me," he said, voice strong in the brittle air. "I would rather leave on my own terms than be shoved out on theirs."

"There are worse reasons," I replied, offering my hand to him.

Reaching past my hand, Frost wrapped his chilly fingers around my forearm above the wrist. "I think it will be easier to find a place here."

The air around the mound seemed to still, as though something were holding its breath and waiting. It seemed a moment of great import and in that moment, I was almost frightened. As I looked in his eyes, though, I knew what I wanted to say was the right thing.

"I think you already have a place." I returned the gesture and tightened my grip. "If you want it."

The tension in the air eased and Frost smiled. Yes, that had apparently been exactly the right thing to say. "I very much want."

We moved as one, taking that last step so that our arms were clasped between us and our lips touched for the first time.

We stood like that for quite some time.