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A cold wind sweeps through the rooftop garden. Just as it sways the illuminated plants, it tousles Nagisa's light blue hair as it rushes by.
“Whoa, that’s some strong wind.”
“Is it cold? Are you good?”
“Yeah.”
Despite saying that, Nagisa still shivered from the cold and cozied up to my arm nonetheless. Aah, he’s so cute. Every little thing he does is so adorable, but I couldn't settle for just this. We strolled around the rooftop garden, past the benches and sculptures, until we reached the glass wall at the edge. When I heard Nagisa’s awed “Wow...”, I couldn't help but do a silent victory cheer inside.
“This view is amazing... I never knew a rooftop garden could have such a great viewing spot.”
“It's pretty nice, huh?”
“Yeah…”
The night breeze brushes against Nagisa’s delicate profile. In the heart of the city, you can hardly see any stars in the sky. Instead, the stunning cityscape that mirrored a starry night stretched out beneath us—skyscrapers, apartment buildings, and traffic-filled roads. Each light wasn’t meant for us, but in this moment, I wished it all was just for us.
“So... how was the meal?'
“It was delicious! I think I ate way too much. And that surprise dessert...”
“The anniversary plate?”
“Right! It made me so happy... I was a little embarrassed when the waiter brought it out, though. I can’t believe it’s been six months already.”
I know, rather than answering aloud, I drew Nagisa in closer by the waist. As my fingers brushed along the curves under his jacket, I felt his body twitch.
Today marks the six months since Nagisa and I started dating—our half-year anniversary. After figuring out our futures and starting college a few months back, I finally confessed. He gave me the okay. Nagisa and I had been friends for a long time, so I thought wanting to be with him was purely friendship. But as we started going to different high schools and spending more time apart, I realized that my feelings ran far deeper than that.
“… I want us to stay together, Nagisa.”
“Of course. I want to be right by your side, Karma.”
He sounded so confident when he said it. It's like he was saying Isn’t it obvious? God, you’re so cute, Nagisa, I love you, always. I leaned down and kissed his lips, proudly smiling next to mine.
“...Mmm... Karma.”
“Nagisa...”
As our lips met, they grew more soft and inviting. It’s in moments like these that I’m thankful for the techniques I learned from my English teacher in Class E. When a little space opened up between our melting lips, I smoothly slid my tongue in.
“Hah… nn…”
I caught the slight gasp that left his lips. And soft breaths flowed through his nose. With one hand on his waist, I gently stroked his soft side while my other hand caresses his face. Nagisa gripped my shirt tightly while I traced the curve of his ear with my fingertips, tickling the delicate folds. Damp eyelashes trembles softly above his closed eyes. Yup, I'm doing this. I’m totally making my move tonight. I won't let those guys around me talk things like that anymore.
(—Wait, what!? It’s been six months and you still haven’t got laid!?)
My college friends pretty much had this general reaction. They'd say, ‘If you’re seeing someone, why aren’t you making a move?’ or ‘How do you deal with your urges?’ or ‘Are you training to be a monk or something?’ It was brutal. But really, guys who are good with girls don’t waste time. They skip all the slow, drawn-out process and just dive right in.
But here I am. Still just stopping at holding hands and kissing. Seriously, am I in middle school? Has time stood still since we met? It’s pretty funny that I’m quick to throw punches but totally lost when it comes to being a boyfriend. At least I've switched to playing mind games when it comes to fighting.
Today’s the day. As we shared a deep kiss, I felt Nagisa’s body go limp. If I didn’t hold him up, he might just melt right down. Meanwhile, I was as stiff as a board. I wanted him to notice that, so I pressed my hips against him.
“Ah …”
Startled by the sudden shift, a flash of fear crossed his eyes. But he quickly figured out what was happening, and that fear melted into something sweet.
“You want this too… right, Nagisa?”
I leaned in and whispered softly in his ear while my hand rested near his navel. But I wasn’t going to go any lower than that. Maybe hoping for more, Nagisa squirmed a little.
“Wait... no...”
“Do you want me to touch you?”
His stomach felt fuller than usual from the delicious meal—soft and warm and utterly inviting. But I knew Nagisa didn’t mean to be touched there.
“... No, we can’t do this out here, Karma.”
“True... How about we find somewhere more private?”
I’ve already done my homework and found out there’s a hotel district nearby. I scoured review sites and picked out a few love hotels that have interiors as nice as resort hotels. The busiest time would be about an hour from now. So, I thought we could still sneak into the popular ones before it gets crowded.
I made sure that Nagisa was nodding with those dreamy eyes before we left the rooftop garden. He then asked, “Do you think anyone saw us?” but honestly, with all the couples around, everyone else was probably up to the same thing.
To my surprise, the love hotel was almost fully booked. Out of the few rooms that were left, I picked one of the few available rooms with a more relaxed decor and got the room key. I felt like luck was on our side. Nagisa seemed to feel it too, with how he had been clinging to my arm the entire time.
“…Let’s go in.”
“Uh, Y-yeah.”
“Nervous?”
“I think I’ll be fine...”
It was adorable how his cheeks flushed at that moment. With that thought, I unlocked the door.
“...Wow, this room is gorgeous!”
Right? I couldn’t help but puff my chest out at Nagisa’s reaction. I was glad I did my research. so far, so good.
“It looks just like a regular resort hotel.”
“... I’m going to hop in the shower first. Just relax here, okay?”
“... Mm, okay.”
His response was a bit fidgety and uncertain. Even though I told him to relax, it might be hard for him in this situation. He sat on the sofa still holding his bag then stood up, set it down, and placed his hands on the bed. It looked like he was checking out how fluffy the comforter was. The way he glanced around the room reminded me of a little animal exploring its surroundings. I really hope he’s waiting eagerly.
I casually checked out where the amenities were as I made my way to the bathroom. I figured I’d shower first so Nagisa wouldn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Plus, I thought it’d be nice to help him with his shower or getting ready while I was fresh and clean. Maybe starting something in the bathroom wouldn’t be so bad, but then again, maybe we should save it for the bed... With those thoughts bouncing around my head—or rather, going through planning various detailed scenarios—I wrapped up my shower.
While I dried off with a bath towel, I couldn’t shake the growing excitement inside me. It’s been six months! Nagisa had come over to my place so many times, yet nothing had ever happened. We’ve even spent the night together, but still, nothing went down. Am I being a bit too careful about this?
I slipped into the bathrobe provided and took a moment to fix myself up in front of the mirror. I straightened the collar, ran my fingers through my hair, and locked eyes with my own reflection.
“...Alright.” (He says “…Yosh.” Here)
I opened the door to the bedroom, feeling a rush of excitement. Where's Nagisa? Is he back on the sofa? Or is he on the bed? Maybe he's already undressed—no way, that’s too much to hope for. As I looked around the room, my heart racing, something suddenly caught my eye. There was Nagisa on the bed, having kicked off his shoes and gotten comfortable—but not quite in the way I expected.
“...are you sleeping...?”
For a moment, I thought I was seeing things. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. There was Nagisa, curled up on the bed, completely oblivious to me after I’d come out of the shower. Looking closer, I noticed his side rising and falling in a steady rhythm—slowly and gently.
Just to make sure, I stepped closer to peek at his face. Sure enough, he was asleep—sound asleep. His eyes were tightly shut, no signs of his eyelashes moving at all. Between his round cheeks, his little mouth was just slightly open. I could hear the soft sound of his breathing—suu, suu.
“Man... Seriously...?”
I slumped down next to the bed, feeling completely deflated. Sure, I told him to relax, but still...
“Aaah……”
I scratched at my still-damp hair, frustrated. Have I really waited too long—six months? I thought today would finally be the day. But looking at Nagisa's peaceful sleeping face made me hesitate to wake him up. Saying something like, ‘Hey, wake up, Nagisa. Let’s have sex,’ would totally kill the vibe. There’s no way he could feel good about that now.
Maybe I should have made a move when he stayed over before? Could it be possible that—for him, spending the night with me just meant sleeping? Can you really fail on your first night together if nothing even happened? No, wait, I guess that’s exactly what makes it a failed first night.
And then there was another desperate thought: my lower part wasn’t going to calm down anytime soon.
“Ugh... should I just take care of this myself?”
To be honest, I’ve taken care of myself while looking at Nagisa's sleeping face more than once or twice already. But there’s a huge difference between doing it on purpose and having it happen because you can’t help it. The emptiness feels different in each case. Still, I needed some relief. Slowly, I stood up to head back to the sofa.
I grabbed a paid drink from the fridge—water that costs just over a hundred yen at a convenience store was around three hundred yen here, but at this point, what could I do? As I stared at the water feeling so empty in my hands, my eyes caught sight of the room key on the table. It had a purple acrylic bar attached to it that was mixed with red and blue colors. With those thoughts swirling in my head, I sank deep into the sofa and opened my bathrobe