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Published:
2024-10-27
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2025-05-18
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Ubi amor, ibi dolor

Summary:

Ubi amor, ibi dolor – Where there is love, there is pain

 

You were just another of many orphans in the city of Yokohama, a product of the Great War. You were just one of many children living mindlessly on the streets, thinking about nothing else but survival.
By some invisible fate, you ended up being involved with the infamous Port Mafia, where you came to be invited.
There you were met with profiles of various people, one of which was a lonesome boy your age, Ryuunosuke Akutagawa. At the beginning, your relationship was tense, just constant arguing and getting on each other's nerves, but as time went on, two of you started seeing comfort and warmth in each other's company in this dark, lonely world.
Will everything be alright? How did Akutagawa feel when Dazai left, and how will he feel and what will he do when he finds out you want to leave for the better too?

This story follows young teenage love, pain, and sorrow... so how will all of this end? We shall sail on to this journey to find out.

Notes:

This'll be already my third big Akutagawa project (Akutagawa X reader more specifically)😁
Anyways, I'm wishing you a good read and please, read the tags! I'll add more in the future as story continues on!
Enjoy~

Chapter Text

Rumbling of your stomach started to grow louder and louder as you clutched to it as if it's going to help with quieting it down. Just another day, another night, of aimlessly walking through the lonesome streets of Yokohama, tired, cold, and hungry...

For as long as you could remember, you were an orphan. Your life consisted of nothing else but sheer survival. Running around, stealing food and clothes, looking for materials that could warm you up on cold nights—that was it. Your life was just an empty, lonely mess. But little did you know that this very night, just a bit ahead, you'll be met with something that will change your life from the roots, giving you a first place that you could call home.

 

 

 

 

You were growing irritated by stiff shoes with holes on your feet, making them only painful and full of blisters. As you were staring down at them, not paying too much attention to what's happening around you, you were letting out a quiet string of curses. Goddamn it, when will you reach the location of your latest shelter? The next thing you knew was that you nearly slammed straight into the corner of a wall in front of you because you were that tired and unfocused. But noises coming from the other side of the corner are what made you stop in your tracks. Curious, you peeked with just one eye, hiding behind the corner as you watched what's happening. There was a couple of armed people pointing guns and shooting at an older man and a young boy of similar age as you. You gasped when you saw a flash, and the next moment, the young boy was holding his shoulder in pain. The older man gritted his teeth, glancing over at the boy. "Tachihara, hide there; I'll take care of them." Next second, a purple glow surrounded the older gentleman. You had to press a hand over your mouth to not make a noise as you went back a few steps, making sure that nobody was going to see you. That was a special ability; you were somewhat familiar with them as you also possessed one. Yet you were rarely using it, unfamiliar with it's full potential...

That's when you nearly jumped out of your skin when that boy, Tachihara, came crawling right behind the corner where you were standing. You should've run away! Now that you were noticed by this boy, your heart started to pump faster in fear that something bad might happen to you too. 

"G-goddamn it...who are you now...?" Tachihara grunted through gritted teeth, still holding on to his bloodied shoulder. God, you never saw so much blood. The metallic scent that reached your nostrils the next moment made you nauseous in an instant. 

"I'm just passerby." You answered, realizing that you didn't say anything for a couple of seconds.

Tachihara managed to sit in a way that his back is pressed against the wall. You could notice that he was breathing pretty hard. More anxiety swirled inside your stomach. You can't just leave him alone like this. Taking a glance around the corner, you could see that older man was dealing well with his opponents by throwing various objects at them with his ability. You were... astonished. Slamming, gunshots—those were the sounds resonating in the air. It definitely wasn't helping with your racing heart. 

You glanced back down the street where you came from, then glanced down at the boy. 'What am I supposed to do? I can't just leave someone injured without offering them help; on the other hand, it certainly isn't my problem...' Then it flew through your head. 'How would I feel if somebody stood beside me, seeing me injured and then just walking away?' 

With that thought, you finally decided to kneel down beside Tachihara, ripping a part of your clothes and wrapping it tightly above his injury. He needed a moment to process what's going on. 

"Are you stupid? Why are you helping me?"

"Why? Because you're injured?"

"Just make sure to go away from here as soon as possible; this isn't any of your business."

Just as you were about to open your mouth to answer, you noticed a presence standing at the corner, looking down at you two. You let out a gasp, louder than you would like it to be. Tachihara's face became relieved. It was an older man! His clothes were tattered here and there, same with some speckles of blood.

You were feeling like a small, helpless mouse under his stern look. "I'm... about to go..." Only then did you realize how much your legs were shaking when you stood up. 

"I think we are safe to let her go." Tachihara said. But he was cut short from his sentence as you made an alarmed shout. Behind the older man's back, you could see one of his previous opponents back on his legs with a gun pointed straight at the back of his head. 

"Watch out!" You yelled out of instinct, pushing an older man to the side with a might that malnourished 15-year-old like you could possess. Both the man and the boy were alarmed by your reaction as they moved their heads in the direction you were looking at. It all happened fast. 

There was a loud gunshot; the bullet grazed only a bit through the older man's coat while you stretched out your hands, a dark green glow surrounding your body. Next second, roots and thorns rapidly grew out of the ground, wrapping around man's limbs and torso. In confusion, he was trying to get out of the grip of roots, but thorns were only digging deeper into his skin.

That was your ability. Ability to create and manipulate thorns and roots at your will. Roots wrapped around a man's hand tightly, making the gun drop out of his hand. You already started to lose your strength and energy in that moment, but the older man was able to step in and run toward the enemy. 

Your ability fell flat, withering away, leaving nothing more than dried harmless roots on the ground. Falling to your knees, you were trying to catch your breath. Using ability was always quite energy-consuming. This time, Tachihara came over to you kneeling down to check if you're alright.

"That was sick, man." He made an astonished comment. "I didn't expect a malnourished kid like you could possess an ability."

Your eyebrows furrowed as you grunted. "Hey, watch your mouth."

In the background, there was still a bit of commotion, but then it became deadly silent. Soon enough, you could hear footsteps approaching you. 

"Tachihara, come over here." Older man said.

Tachihara nodded with a bit of confusion, standing up and walking away from you. You calmed down your breathing as you tried to listen to what they were talking about.

"I'm thinking that boss might be interested in this one." The older man said quietly. 

"You think so? Maybe we should just finish her off or pretend like we never saw her."

"That would be the easiest choice, but I think I'd rather leave the decision to the boss. It might be problematic if we ignored the existence of another young ability user. Remember that boss can find out everything easily as long as he wants to."

Tachihara shivered at those words, remembering the dark and gloomy figure of their boss. Mafia boss. "Fine. But don't expect of me to take care of her like a puppy." Tachihara still found some time to crack a joke with this older man, with whom he started to get close. 

"Of course." The older man answered calmly, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. A puff of smoke swirled through the air, getting higher and higher toward the black, starless sky. 

You were thinking about running away, anything, but you were unable to. Your legs didn't want to cooperate as the voices of the other two resonated in your head. If you were not mistaken, you managed to wrap yourself in some serious business. Wide-eyed, you looked at the other two who approached you then. 

"May I know your name?" The older man offered you a hand to stand up. 

Afraid to not anger him, you took his hand and answered as you were getting up, "(y/n)."

"I'm Hirotsu, and this is Tachihara. I'm afraid to inform you that you stepped into a dangerous zone. If you don't want to cooperate, we won't be afraid to use force."

Fear and chills started to wash over you. Feeling of nausea in your throat was becoming worse second by second. Shaking, you decided to follow them through the dark night, unable to process what you had stepped into.

 

 

 

 

Even though you spent years on the streets, you never dared to walk anywhere in the dead of night, and now you were walking in the dead of night between two complete strangers to meet their so-called boss. Darkest of thoughts started to cloud your mind. What if they were trafficking people? What if they are going to torture and murder you? Your thoughts weren't helping with the way your stomach was churning.

"We are nearly there." Hirotsu said quietly after all of you've been quiet for a while. Your eyes lifted up ahead, only to fill with more dread and fear. 

Three of you were approaching a complex of five black tall buildings. Headquarters of so-called Port Mafia. You started to tremble even more. Even though you despised your life, even though death would bring you salvation, you didn't want to die. Not in the cruel ways that were known by the mafia. "Will you...kill me?"

"There are destinies far worse than death. But I'm positive that boss is going to see something useful in you."

That didn't help you at all. What did it mean to be useful to a mafia boss? To be his play toy? Even more disgusting thoughts came rushing to your head. You started to dry heave, so you had to stop for a moment. A bit of stomach acid found its way out of your mouth.

"You serious?" Tachihara knitted his eyebrows. "You better not do that in front of the boss." 

You ignored his little comment and wiped your mouth in to the sleeve and continued walking. Your stomach was still doing flips, your heart was going crazy, it was hard to breathe...

As you were standing in between two mafiosi at the front entrance of a building, you looked around in hope of seeing some sort of salvation. But there was no salvation.

Hirotsu was talking to the guards; one of them picked up the old-fashioned flip phone, calling someone and saying a few words. After getting an answer, guards gave permission to three of you to get in. 

As soon as doors closed behind your back, you knew you were done. Maybe you'll never see the sunlight ever again. You noticed that there were guards everywhere, and even when you reached the elevator, Hirotsu had to talk to guards again; some of them even got inside the elevator with you as well. 

You looked at the big panel with numbered buttons of floors—there were so many. And maybe not so surprisingly, guards clicked the button for the highest floor. The ride was smooth and deadly silent. You had to convince your brain and body to stay awake and conscious despite everything. That ride felt like eternity. And when you were finally at the top floor... there was a small hall leading to big two-winged doors. There were more guards, which didn't surprise you at all. 

Hirotsu went ahead, nodding to the guards and then knocked on the door. "Boss, it's us."

"You may come in." A cold and distant voice was heard on the other side. 

When Hirotsu turned around, facing you and Tachihara, it was enough of a sign for you to follow him. Inside these big walls, among so many armed adults, you never felt so small and harmless. You tried to put on as brave a face as you could as you heard two-winged doors creak, slowly showing what's on the other side. 

 

 

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" The boss of Port Mafia said with a bit of satisfaction and curiosity. His appearance was enough to freeze you completely. You were so cold and numb, your brain barely comprehending this as reality. 

Then, you noticed a little blonde girl in a red dress sitting on the floor, scribbling something with crayons. You couldn't decide if that was making you even more uneasy or if it was making the situation better. 

"I'm listening." Boss turned his attention from you to Hirotsu.

Hirotsu started reporting about the mission he and Tachihara had that night, during which you turned out to be there too. Tachihara added that you stopped to help him up with his injury. For whatever reason, that made you feel slightly better because you hoped somehow that gesture was going to make the boss forgive you. 

But he was more interested in the next thing. How you used your ability.

Boss was nodding along; in the end, his attention came back to you. "May I know your name, young girl? Here I learned something valuable about you."

"(y/n)...my name is (y/n)."

"Alright (y/n), and you unknowingly helped Port Mafia members, right?"

"Yes... I was unsure of what to do. Since other people were armed and your members weren't, I guessed that the armed people were the bad guys. I couldn't just go without helping an injured boy of my own age." You were trembling the whole time as you spoke. You cursed at yourself inside your head for saying too many details. It was undeniable that you were looking like a complete idiot in front of Port Mafia members.

"Hmm... selflessly helping injured people I see..." Mori muttered more to himself. "And you possess a special ability, isn't it? Do you mind telling me more about it?" He sounded so cold and malicious as he asked. His piercing red-ish eyes were looking right through your soul. 

"I don't know much about it; in fact, I rarely use it. I accidentally found out a few years ago that I possess it while I was searching for food in somebody's fields."

"What exactly can you do with it?"

"Just as it was described. I can create and control roots and thorns from the ground and manipulate it in any way that I like. Well,I can try to make them bigger, or I can wrap them around someone or something. That's all that I learned so far."

"All that I have to say is that I'm quite interested in it. I think it could be quite useful. Now then, I'm afraid that I can't let you go so easily now that you've entered headquarters." Mori made a dramatic pause. His voice was giving you chills, but somehow, silence was even worse. "So...the condition is for you to become our member or we will have to exterminate you."

You nearly fell to your knees as you heard that. Your big empty eyes looked at the man ahead of you, who was watching you with malice, sitting proudly on a chair like a king on a throne. It wasn't the first time Mori saw such big empty eyes stare straight at him, full of fear. Many of his members were just like that too. Poor orphaned youngsters, with nowhere else to go. He waited for your answer. 

Again, you were thinking back on how death sounded terrifying, but would living under the mafia's wing be even worse? "Can I...can I ask you something?"

"Yes?" Mori made a small smirk. This was always so amusing.

"What exactly do you want to do with me if I accept to be your member?"

"You would be provided a roof above your head, food, water, and clothes. You would be under a strict regime of training both your body, capabilities, and ability. With that would come your missions. Now, there are various kinds of missions, but you'll get to know them with time. This might be the only opportunity in your life where you won't have to starve and freeze on the streets anymore."

The way Mori said the last didn't sound like he pitied you, but rather like he was mocking you. Either way, it did sound good to be provided all of that...

How bad could those missions be? And if you stay here for a while and get to know this place a bit better, if you're lucky enough, you could flee. That's why, in the end, you gave a small nod, keeping your head really low. "I accept."

Mori's dark chuckle echoed through the room. "In that case, welcome to Port Mafia."