Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

July 23, 2010

The warm summer feeling had become thick in the air, it always did at the end of a season. That last flourish of warmth before being sucked away into the chilly London fall. Harry sat on the front steps of his flat. He could smell the neighbors cooking wafting through the window and a sudden grumble overtook his stomach. It was nearly 7 o'clock and he wondered wheather any of the boys would be coming soon.

The idea had come to him late one night in early April. A band. Something that was far from revolutionary. He'd grown up listening to all kinds of music from all the men his mother brought in. There was Jerry with the hardcore metal that pounded in his ears and made his knee jiggle from the sheer force of the pounding, Vic with a lighter bluesy jazz that caused young Harry to hum softly along and it felt like the home was a bit warmer when that was played, and Wester who enjoyed putting on some strange form of country bluegrass. The different men that lit up his childhood had always helped Harry categorize points in his life. Until he turned thirteen and his mother got married to Ted. Who, now that he was nearing forty, disagreed with it - he would put on some rock music every night before going to bed. At first the rock music was terrible to listen to. His mother didn't like it and neither did Harry. That was a bone he was sure would stick. Until he turned fifteen, and truely started to learn how to appreciate the feeling of it. Some parts that flowed and others that splattered. Like paint, half dried or completely wet. Never knowing what color would appear on the pallet or how they would mix together. He had started investigating and enjoyed listening to Ted's old albums bought in the mid eighties. Talking Heads, Meat Puppets, Dead Kennedy's, Pearl Jam, Jesus Lizard. From rock noise in which he jumped all about the living room to a smoother sound that could really let the boy sit and think, rock had it all. It was truly a mash of genres. So by sixteen, Harry believed that rock music was the human experience wrapped up with a bow. He was surprised the idea hadn't come to him sooner.

A week or so after his sixteenth birthday, the boy had been sitting alone in his bedroom. His parents were both out at work and his only friend, James, was far away on a fishing trip down in Brighton and Harry was sat on his floor in need of some comfort. It was a dreary February evening where the rain clung to the window in thick droplets. Outside the wind had started to pick up a bit, making the tree next to his house hit the wall over and over again. The sound of the thump thump thump covered him with sleepiness. Harry had pulled his record player out from the corner of his room and plugged it in, sifting through the album collection that took over two shelves of his sagging bookshelf. He went through the entire collection problaly about four times. Searching for a feeling, a sound he couldn't place. He picked up and put down many records, trying out a few. Flipping from side A to B. None of them fit for the aching that was collecting in his soul at that moment.

It felt like he needed a sound, a voice, a riff that he hadn't heard yet. He was craving something yet to experience, that felt so close yet so far from his grasp. He went into the late hours of the night just searching. For anything to click like a puzzle piece. Anything to combat the gnawing he felt in his heart. When Ted returned home around ten PM, he went straight to Harry's room and had asked why the boy wasn't in bed.

"I just can't sleep,"

"And why's that?"

"I need... a piece I can't find. A record I don't have."

"Do you know what it's called?" He asked, that was something Harry always liked about his step-father, he never judged. He never nagged like his mom might've. He only sought to understand, which Harry guessed was an attempt at being the good cop of the family. But he never minded it.

"No, it's not a album that's been made yet... I guess. I haven't heard of it yet. But I can't stop thinking of it. Bloody hell does that even make sense?" He groaned, leaning and letting his back hit the soft padding of the carpet flooring. He placed his hands over his eyes and squeezed them shut. It was a need he couldn't quench and that itched in his bones deeply. One thing though that was always helpful about having a step-father, a good one to be specific, was that they often knew how to unwind the muddy parts of one's mind. Especially in this moment, Harry's confused thoughts were picked apart by Ted and put back together through one simple sentence.

"Well then make the album yourself, mate." He smiled, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry noticed that, unlike the other men his mom dated before, Ted never placed his hand anywhere other than Harry's shoulder. While the others clapped a hand to his back and squeezed him in a hug tightly, Ted made sure to never get too close. Never push a boundary. It was something Harry always appreciated. That was all reserved for his mom. Though he always tried to give credit to Ted. He was a good step-father, really, he was. That moment was so quiet. A simple sentence he muttered in the dark glow of Harry's dim lamp. And yet it made things all piece together.

He'd always been writing since he was young. Often scribbling down random notes or words that sounded good together. The idea of actually piecing them together in a song felt impossible to him , though. Something he couldn't even start to attempt. But the idea of creating a band, well... excited him. He had never let it truly resonate in his mind. It was something always written off as out of the question completely. Yet it was on that late February night where he started scheming.

The first person Harry had called up was his neighbor, a boy named Liam. He knew Liam enjoyed the drums and he had often heard the other boy banging on his set late into the night on the weekends since they were fourteen. The guy was very sweet, with a mop of straight brown hair swiped across his forehead. He had a kind smile and although the two had never been friends they were always able to comfortably joke with one another. Liam said that it sounded like a good idea, if they could find enough guys to join. Liam had never been in a band before either. However he did know a guy from their high school named Niall who sometimes played guitar in the school band concerts. So they joined him in as well. Harry had seen Niall around the hallways a couple of times. He had a boyish appearance and held a cheeky smile. Niall had many friends and was often going to parties and such. Although he was never a drinker or anything, he'd rather hang around people and just talk. It was certainly refreshing.

Niall seemed excited about the idea. He had been in a band in year ten, although it had broken up after only three months. But it was still the most experience out of any of the boys. The three of them had a meeting a lunch one day. And had concluded that Niall would be the guitarist, Liam on drums, and Harry as the singer. Unfortunately, Niall said he thought the band was too small. They needed a bassist and backup singer, which could be the same person if needed because neither Liam or Niall wanted to sing. After that meeting the progress slowed down a bit. They couldn't find anyone else to join. The only one who had musically inclined friends was Niall but they were all band geeks and that wasn't the kind of image they wanted to give off.

It all changed when Niall went on a band retreat with a band from another school. It was just three days where they were supposed to work on songs as a joint band. There he met Zayn Malik. On the second night he called up both Harry and Liam, saying he'd found the fourth member. Zayn was the perfect fit, giving off a mysterious vibe which clicked well with the other boys more upbeat personalities. And he played the bass, quite well as Niall added. He talked with Zayn all that retreat trip, and the other boy seemed very interested in joining. He expressed the desire to play in something more serious than high school band. And so it was settled.

Harry, Liam, Zayn, and Niall. The perfect rock band.

Harry sat on the steps, breathing in the summer's air. He saw the jeep pull up in front of his house and stood up, starting to bounce on the back of his heels. He felt excited, bubbling with anticipation. Zayn jumped out of the seat, pulling his bass from the passenger seat. Out of the back came Niall too. Who held his guitar tightly. They were both dressed to the nines. Zayn pulling off a mystifying look with ripped jeans, a tight leather jacker, and a bandana he strung around his thick black hair. While Niall had worn a tye dye shirt with jorts and some colorful baseball cap. Their aesthetics didn't match at all. Harry made a note he needed to fix that later. However, they did work together in a strange sort of way.

"Hey dude," Harry smiled, side hugging Zayn. "His house is over here," He said. The boys walked over to Liam's house across the street. They'd decided to practice there because it had the most space and was decently close enough to everyone. It also held Liam's drum set, which was pretty needed. The boy welcomed them inside, saying how both his parents were at work and they had the space completely to themselves. As the guys set up their equipment, they chatted casually about their weeks and just life in general. Harry looked around feeling proud that his imagination was coming to fruition.

They got to work quickly, each starting to play a soft tune. They decided to start off with an easy song they all knew. It took a bit of discussing to find a song all agreed on. They picked 'soul sister' by train. A song that had been on the radio so many times it was burned into all their retina's.

"One, two, three, four!" Liam yelled, breaking out into the rhythmic drum beat. Zayn followed by setting down a bass line that was deep and echoed in Harry's ear. As Niall started playing the pure melody with his guitar. Harry tapped his foot, trying to keep along with the flow. He counted the beats in his head, trying to remember the little that his secondary school music teacher had taught him. His voice cracked a bit on the beginning, making Harry cringe, but he started to get down the melody a bit better as the beat went on. Liam messed up the chorus halfway through which caused Niall to get the wrong notes in the melody. This made Harry forget the words that he was singing and the only one playing right in that moment was Zayn. Even so, the boys kept banging.

At the end of the song, silence took over the room. They had played... pretty terribly. Harry didn't want to feel discouraged on their first trial run, but it was hard not to be. It sounded so off. The same feeling rippled through each of the boys.

"It's missing something," Harry muttered.

"I don't like it," Zayn said.

"Maybe it's just cause we're new!" Liam said. "Our playing skills have to get used to one another.

"I guess..." Zayn said.

"I dunno man, it sounded weird." Niall shrugged, taking a chug of water.

"I think we should add something." Harry said.

"Like what?" Liam asked. Harry shrugged. "Did we pick the wrong song?" He continued.

"No, any song will fit if the band's right," Niall said. Zayn nodded.

"So we have the wrong band?" Liam asked.

"Dude, don't be so negative," Zayn chipped.

"I'm not!" He retorted.

"Okay, calm down, calm down." Harry said. He turned around and took in a clear view of the boys. The others started to look as well. At their image, at how they fit together.

"Maybe... we need another member," Harry said, thinking it through."

"Another one?" Niall groaned. Harry rolled his eyes.

"I'm just saying, it would even out the group!"

"Actually, five is an odd number, you nob." Zayn chuckled.

"You know what I mean!" Harry said.

"Okay well, what other instrument do we need?" Niall asked.

"A backup singer for one, every good band has one." Liam said.

"Let's add a pianist, can anyone play?" Niall asked. Everyone remained silent.

"A pianist would be nice, maybe it would keep the pattern churning and I dunno... it could like keep the in between notes strong?" Liam said.

"I know a guy," Zayn smiled.

Chapter Text

July 23, 2010

The group had waited for nearly thirty minutes at that point. And Zayn called the kid almost twenty minutes ago. He was glancing over at the landline they used on Liam's wall every couple of seconds it felt like. Harry sighed and watched the TV program that Liam had put on, listening to the riff that Niall was working on in his guitar. It was nice, punchy and melodic, he was messing around with the notes and putting them in different order to find the right fit. It was good that they actually had a true musician in the mix.

"He should be here any second," Zayn said.

"Are we sure he's actually legit?" Niall asked, sighing and letting his head fall back against the couch.

"Yes, I met him at a party. He rocked out on the piano like hell, everyone's favorite." He commented. Harry tried to mash up the type of boy that would walk through the door. He could be anything from a rockstar to a druggie and no one was sure what to expect, other than Zayn of course. "And he has hella dope," Zayn smiled. Harry felt his ears perk up. He'd never smoked before. Other than that one time he tried a cigarette with his cousin when he was fifteen and had a coughing attack from one puff. He'd never tried again. The boy let his eyes scan to the other members, seeing how they reacted. Niall's eyebrows furrowed deeply, he knew that he was a pretty straight line. The premium band kid of sorts. Well liked but never needing to smoke or drink. And he was sure Liam hadn't either. He often kept to himself in his own world and didn't need to impress anyone by using blow. He suddenly felt even more excited of what this possible guy could show up as.

The doorbell rung out suddenly. Twice quickly and then not again. Zayn jumped up and so did the rest of the boys. They were buzzing of the possibility of who stood behind the door. They all jumped upstairs and crowded around Liam's front door. Harry was shoved to the back, standing on his tip toes to look but couldn't see well from the crowd of fluffy hair in front of him. It was nearly ten PM and luckily Liam's parents were both doctors and didn't come home until quite late. The door opened, and he saw a flash of someone enter. The person dabbed up Zayn and hugged him. They started laughing and talking to one another. Passing joyful hello's between the two. The other boys thinned out.

And then he saw him. Wow.

Louis contrasted well against the dark background of the night sky. He had pale skin that was lit up from the orange glow of Liam's lights. He wore a thick crop of dark brown hair brushed and fluffed over to the side of his face. He had a lip piercing, and a bit of dark black eyeliner smudged into the outer corners. Harry felt himself stop in his tracks and just stare. He'd never seen another guy look like this before. Louis wore tight ripped black skinny jeans and a striped white and black T-shirt that was a bit too small for him. His muscles were well-toned, although he was still quite skinny, it looked like he did work out a bit. Harry felt breathless. Even with the rough exterior and off standish choice of style, Louis held the sweetest smile he'd ever seen anyone possess. His eyes lit up when he smiled. And he had deep smile lines that were complimented with dimples that kept his face looking plush and young. And he was noticeably the shortest of the entire group, while Harry saw himself being the tallest for sure. They had a relativity big height difference between the two. And for some reason, this excited Harry, his chest pounding a bit more.

"Let's get started!" Liam said. It was the loudest he'd been the entire night. It suddenly felt right. This. This group. These people. From whether he'd known them most his life or just met him, Harry felt comfortable around the group. He needed to see how they would play together. He was itching to start, plugged in with the excitement of possibilities ahead.

"Calm down, mate," Louis said. He made piercing eye contact with Harry and jutted his chin up, eyeing him. "Whose this?"

"I'm Harry Styles," The boy smiled, pushing out a hand to shake. Louis looked him up and down and Harry suddenly wished he had picked a bit of a better outfit for their first practice. A simple black jumper and grey trousers wasn't extremely exciting.

"Blimey, that's one hell of a name 'arry." He smiled. Shaking the other boys hand tightly. Harry noticed that Louis accent was much more Cockney influenced while him and the others were a bit more posh, which often came from the southener side of England. He liked the way he spoke, how the vowels and articles hit perfectly against his ear and bounced off well. He liked listening to Louis speak, and he was curious to how he sang.

****

"One, two, three, four!"

A crash of the symbols. Right into the melody. They had gone with playing the classic song 'Loosing My Religion' by R.E.M. It was a song Liam suggested, which was right on the nose for his well-curated music taste. He went straight into the drum sequence, pounding away, while Niall followed along on the guitar. And Louis had brought along his synthesizer, he didn't know the song very well but followed along well. Louis had mentioned he had good listening comprehension where he could listen to a song and play along the harmonic notes. They had positioned themselves naturally.

Liam to the back right going haywire on his drums. He always transformed into another person when he was rocking, which brought a nice baseline to the group. Niall was on the left side on his guitar, Louis on the left side a bit in front of him. And Zayn on the right with the base. Harry was, as always, in the middle with the mic. Although it was quickly found out that both Zayn and Niall enjoyed walking around with their instruments and cozying up against others while jamming. Zayn started which seemed to spark a confidence bone in Niall. Harry liked how charismatic Zayn was on stage, even though they weren't really playing for an audience. He certainly was more comfortable than Harry, who messed up the first notes out of his mouth. Luckily though, since the music was so well blended and toned Harry was able to latch onto the rhythm again.

His voice was loud and well sounding, he hoped at least. Harry had gotten a few voice lessons when he was younger from one of Mom's past boyfriends and had even joined his primary school's choir. He always enjoyed singing, often belting out in the car to the radio or going at it in the shower. He liked adding his own spin instead of following the original singer's tone. With the song they were currently playing, Harry tried to make his voice a bit more peaky and raspy. Which he thought went well with the basement sound they had going on in that moment.

They went through the entire song without any major quips. And after ending, the last note Harry sung he held out, letting it end in a bang. The silence took over them in that moment, until Liam jumped up and slammed his stick against the cymbal. Zayn started cackling at the sight of the quiet boy in the corner wooping and hollering. Niall grabbed Harry and pulling him in, and they all traded hugging one another. Until Harry got to Louis. He looked down at the shorter boy, feeling his mouth mold up into a smile.

"You did really good up there."

"You think?" Harry brightened.

"Jeez, you're like the sun. And yes, I didn't really believe at first. But I stand corrected." Louis said, he stretched out a hand to pat Harry on the shoulder but the taller boy's face melted.

"You didn't believe?" He asked. Louis chuckled.

"Well, I mean, look at ya, mate."

"What?" Harry asked. He turned to the other guys, "Do I look like a singer?" He said, making a quick pose with the mic to 'prove' his ability to be a singer. Zayn turned his head to the side and Niall started saying "Well..."

"God, don't answer that." Harry sighed.

"You look like a church singer," Louis smiled, crossing his arms and looked the boy up and down. Harry suddenly felt self conscious, specifically in a very pointed nether region which caused him to sit down and place a stray pillow over the area. He felt his ears grow hot. Louis smiled a cheeky grin and he sat next to Harry. He felt himself melt into the side of the couch. Louis placed his arm on the upper part of the couch.

"I'm not cut out for being the lead singer am I?" Harry sighed.

"Doesn't matter man, you'll grow into it!" Niall smiled.

"Right, and we sounded awesome tonight," Liam said. Still gleeful from the moment. Harry smiled at him, he knew that Liam had been waiting for ages to be in a band. Zayn nodded along.

"Look mate, I'll take you shoppin' this weekend, huh?" Louis said, punching Harry in the chest lightly.

"Ey, let's all go!" Zayn noted in. The other boys nodded along.

"You all free Saturday?" Louis asked, everyone said yes and agreed to a time. They started chatting then about the song they'd just finished playing. Some moments they wanted to go over, parts they did or didn't like, etc. Harry felt a sudden blossom of warmth grow in his chest. From a place deep in his lungs he'd been waiting to scratch. In which he could feel the ice melting. The air was warm, and he was surrounded about guys he enjoyed the company of. His... friends? He was looking at the floor then, spacing off for a moment. Louis nudged his shoulder with his own, having taking his arm wrapped around Harry's shoulders back. He mouthed 'you good?' out to him. Harry felt his mouth drop open in a moment, lips pursing out unconsciously. He noted that for a moment, half a second almost, Louis looked down. So fast he could've missed it. He nodded and smiled, mouthing 'thank you' back.

"Alright, let's get back to it!" Liam said, clapping his drum sticks together like he was clinking a glass to give a toast. This caused both Zayn and Niall to start laughing before returning back to their spots.

"Let's go," Harry said. He jumped up quickly, and stretched a hand down toward Louis to pull him up from the couch.

"'Atta boy," Louis said.

Chapter Text

July 24, 2010

Harry stood in front of the TD Maxx. He stood on the sidewalk feeling the uncomfortable lines of sweat rise on the back of his neck and underneath his tight skinny jeans. He was trying to emulate what Louis had wore yesterday at their first band practice yesterday, the memories of it playing over and over in his head. After the addition of their fifth member, the boys had clicked instantly. They played well, and sounded decent. Each had gone home with a good warm feeling swelling in his stomach. Harry could barley sleep last night, and he stayed awake till nearly two in the morning after they all left Liam's house at midnight. After playing 'Losing My Religion' a couple more times they just sat around and talked. Getting to know the mundane basic details about each other. Yet, it had been fun. They had a comfortable conversation with each other. A few jokes thrown in, some laughing. Harry felt good about each guy in there.

He thought of them leaving. They had all been standing out on Liam's driveway, saying their goodbyes. Niall and Zayn dabbed up the others and patted each other on the back before swinging into Niall's jeep and speeding off. Liam yawned deeply and thanked Harry sleepily.

"I think the band is the greatest idea you've ever 'ad mate," He grinned. The loopiness of exhaustion setting into his features. Harry smiled, he noticed whenever Liam got tired he started to slip back into his more cockney accent out of the previous poshness he'd adopted in his teen years.

"Thanks, Liam. I think so too," Harry said, putting a gentle arm around Liam as the boy sighed deeply and slumped against his friend.

"Okay, bud, the door's that way." Louis said. He gently helped Liam stretch up to a straight standing position and nudged him back to his front door.

"Night, mates," Liam yawned and saluted them. Harry and Louis both returned the favor and waved him off. Harry chuckled as he stumbled to the door and shut it aggressively, the light inside clicking off instantly. The two remaining boys were left in the darkness. The only light between the two of them were the dim orange glow coming from the lights lining the sides of his driveway. It lit up Louis' thick bangs. Harry cocked his head to the side and studied the sweet boys face. His eyes were hazel, glints of gold dancing back at him.

"You enjoying the view?" Louis smirked, his face spreading into a wide cheeky grin. Harry stepped back, realizing in his daze he'd leaned closer. Like Louis was a sculpture in a museum from 2000 years ago that Harry was studying, finding the alikeness of humanity in his eyes.

"You arse," Harry grinned, playfully shoving the shorter boy away.

"You know... I've been in a few bands, and this one has the most chemistry outta all them in just the first day." Louis commented, Harry perked up. "It's impressive, really. You've made som'ing here mate."

"How many bands you been in?" Harry asked, feeling like a real life rockstar was standing right in front of him.

"Oh so you're too dazzled by me to realize I just commented you? What you want an autograph?" Louis asked, blowing his shoulders back and puffing out his chest. Grinning deeply. Harry dropped his mouth open.

"I'm being serious, you bastard!" He groaned. Louis broke out in a laugh.

"It's fun to piss you off," Louis said. His eyes clawed at Harry's skin, roaming his body. Suddenly the taller boy felt naked in the darkness. A cold wind swept the nape of his neck, highlighting the sweat that was dripping off it. He felt his lips purse. He was fascinated by this boy. He wanted to study him. He wanted to know him.

"You're rubbish," was the only thing he could get out. The words barley being able to pass his teeth. Harry would think back to this moment, wondering if Louis knew. If Louis knew the power he held in this moment. One word, one ask for a favor and he would deliver eagerly. It was frightening. Looking at the younger boy's proud stance and forward eyes, he was sure. He knew.

"Thank you darling," Louis said. Before Harry could even utter a word, he continued "I've been in just two other bands. Both were a mess. I started the first in year eight, and... never again. It only had two other guys, my only friends at the time. And they argued constantly. Lasted what- three weeks?" Harry listened intenetly "One's in jail now an' the other's a junkie, I think. Or he got his girlfriend pregnant, dunno."

"A-and the second band?" Harry asked, sure that this one boy had lived the drama of Harry's entire life in the span of a month.

"Ah, ya know, me friend started it year ten. Didn't last long, maybe four months. We could play other songs well but struggled to write our own. An' we never played at a venue so it eventually fizzled out I guess."

"I see," Harry nodded.

"Oh I also slept with the lead guitarist's girlfriend, so, you know... hard to play together after that."

"Jeez!" Harry exclaimed, feeling his eyebrows shoot up. Louis shrugged. Harry felt his cheeks grow suddenly hot with the thought. He'd never even kissed someone before, much less sleep with them. The idea of Louis in his skinny jeans and tight band shirt with the sleeves cut off leaning over another's body made him swallow deeply, a lump budging against his Adam's apple. He shifted his crotch uncomfortably and tried to do it secretly, bouncing back and forth on his heels.

Current moment Harry snapped out of his memories, his forehead had grown sweaty underneath his thick fringe and the boy wiped it away suddenly. The serene calming late summer day felt good against his tan skin. He would become pale again that winter, and all the feeling of the hot sun would disperse. So he tried to soak up all the goodness of the moment. Until a steady punch to his arm broke him out.

"Ow!" Harry yelped, covering his shoulder that was now growing a lumpy bruise.

"Hey there, 'arry." Louis grinned. The other boy ground his jaw.

"You arse," He sighed. The other boys were behind Louis, all pulled up in Niall's jeep.

"How are you here early?" Zayn asked.

"I bet ya girlfriend brought you," Liam jutted in. Harry saw Louis eyebrows perk up.

"Big mans got a girlfriend, eh?" Louis asked, slapping Harry on the back. The taller boy rolled his eyes and let out a chuckle. Liam was referencing a girl in their year. Her name was Emily. Harry had known her since year eight. They'd become decently close when entering secondary school, since they shared the same maths and science class. In the past few weeks since starting year twelve though, she'd been talking to Harry more. Once when she went up to the boy and asked if he wanted to grab a cup of coffee at the nearby cafe soon, all her girlfriends were standing nearby giggling loudly. Harry had mentioned this to Liam and the other boy nearly wanted to hit him over the head for being so daft.

"She's not my girlfriend, we're just friends!" Harry laughed out.

"Bloody hell, you're an idiot!" Liam said, "She was obviously flirting with you, you nut." Liam said before explaining the situation with the other guys. They'd started walking into TD Maxx, the group of them looked like a proper mix together. They all fit in their own strange puzzle piece ways. None of them took note of it this day, yet when they were together they were mesermizing. People couldn't help but stop and stare. Young girls, older women, and everybody in between felt their eyes locked on the group of handsome charismatic teenagers.

"She was totally flirting with you, you gonna go?" Niall asked. He pulled out a shopping card and started pushing it aggressively, hopping up on one foot to glide easily before it lost momentum.

"Gosh, well now you all are making me overthink it all," Harry said. "Thanks a lot," He chuckled, face a bit more on edge this time. He reviewed all his past interactions with Emily. Was he being a self-imposed idiot? She had smiled of him plenty of times, and let her long wavy brown hair rest on his desk when she sat in front of him for maths in year eleven. She'd even once placed her hand on his arm, specifically the bicep area. All these interactions could be rounded off as simple things friends do. He'd never suspected the moments to be anything more. The thought made his heart beat a little quicker. Wondering if key flirts she'd kissed his way had bounced off his thick skull.

"You don't gotta overthink it man, just take it slow. Ease into it. Y'know, see if you like her," Zayn said.

"Like you've ever been on a damn date," Niall groaned.

"Don't underestimate me, you bastard," Zayn retorted. A glimmer in Zayn's eye made Niall back down. And Harry trusted him 100%. He was definitely handsome enough to have Harry believe the boy had gone on a thousand dates.

"Okay, when does she want to get coffee?" Liam asked, they had rounded the corner of the household appliances and were starting to make their way down the long shopping corridors to find the clothing section. Liam rode on the back of the shopping cart while Niall had propped himself sitting in the front of the cart, urging Liam to go faster yet the driver slowed down to relay in on the ongoing gossip.

"God, I think she said- what was it? Next weekend? Yeah, she wanted this weekend at first but she's got some football game, so..." Harry droned off.

"Alright then, mate, next weekend. You gotta bring it," Zayn said.

"What?!" Harry exploded. "Bring what?"

"The charm," Liam teased, poking at Harry's side to tickle him and make the other boy contort.

"Jeez, you all are getting too ahead of yourself," Harry grumbled.

"Agreed!" Louis blurted out. Harry realized in that moment that the boy had been rather quiet this whole time.

"Eh?" Niall asked, his Irish accent coming through thick in his confusion.

"You all are making Harry think entirely too much about this date, which is probably more of a blown up hang out than anything else." He said, the words flowing out at a moments notice like they'd been stewing for a while. "Besides, the sections right 'ere!" He yelled out. Harry studied Louis right then. The other boy's forehead was pursed quite intensely. His eyes hooded against the store's fluorescent light. Harry felt his lips part, looking down at Louis. The other boy looked up. They eyes met in an intense moment. Where the other boys stood and stared at them. Until Niall finally clapped his hands and broke the silence.

"Alright, let's get looking!" He said. They dispersed, with a plan to each find two shirts and trousers that would make a good outfit for themselves for the band. Harry felt his mind reeling. What the blood hell had happened beforehand? He thought of Emily, her sweet laughs and pointed comments she often made when they were together. She was pretty, and kind. The perfect possible girlfriend. The idea excited him almost. He'd never had a girlfriend before, never gotten close enough to a girl to explore that possibility. And yet Emily was grown. And she was there. He thought about how she looked in her uniform. Her skirt rising just above her knees and how her shins looked. There were indents on the sides of her knees from the kneepads she wore for football. She always adorned her ears with small rose gold hoops. They shone in the light of the classroom. He thought of her soft wavy hair draped across the front of his desk last year in maths. How it smelled, sweet, and how he never moved it out of the way even when he couldn't read the problems on the sheet in front of him. She would be good, he told himself, a good girlfriend. The girl he could talk with, feel comfortable in her presence, the girl he could get coffee with and not feel rushed. He wanted to explore with her. Or just her.

Until Louis eyes barged in on his mind. The dark thick eyebrows that shaded his lids. How his eyes were pointed and direct yet soft when he smiled. He thought of creases on the side and wondered how they would deepen as the boy aged. Harry couldn't help but think of the deep reddish purple under eye bags that set in his face. They were different from his otherwise smooth complexion yet added to that undeniable Louis charm. They gave him a quality of mystery. Wondering what singed the boy to give him a red line about his cornea. Was it late night tears? Or mid day smoke? Harry thought about his long eyelashes. Wondered what they would look like when Louis was crying, how teardrops must've clung to the edged. These thoughts, almost fantasies embraced his mind. They punctured the boy with curiosity at his friend. Yes, his friend.

He needed a breath of fresh air. And the large stuffy department store wasn't helpful in undermining the swarming nausea that was taking over him. Harry rubbed his temples and focused on sifting through the clothing sat in front of him. It was relatively difficult to sort out was band worthy and what not. He ended up coming up with a black long sleeve with a small blue emblem on the chest pocket from some brand, and a white shirt with a random pattern on it that looked decently rock enough. Then he pulled out out a beige colored set of trousers and a pair of black skinny jeans. The clothes on him in the changing room felt awkward. He'd never dressed like this. His 'style' if that's what one could call it was a mix between posh British schoolboy and just a boy who didn't know how to dress. He'd tried to incorporate scarfs and interesting patterns yet always looked back at photos of these outfits in slight disgust that someone let him out of the house like that.

He looked at himself up and down, the tighter jeans and looser T-shirts were territory he'd never encountered before. He lifted up his shirt and reviewed his stomach, his arms, his back. He was a relatively skinny boy. Never had been quite large or toned and never been bony. He'd had a relatively good amount of meat on his frame that he'd never tried to shape up. He'd run a bit in his lower years, even joined the cross country team at one point. This made his legs well muscled for a bit until he quit the team because he grew tired of being at the back of the group every time. He'd never been to a gym, had a membership once for about a week but could barley lift anything past 22kg and it was too expensive to keep. His stomach was a bit pudgy, considering he'd eaten before coming. The boy suddenly wondered what he might've looked like with some muscles. His arms looked quite skinny in the mirror in that moment. He stripped his shirt off completely to review himself. He felt his ears grow hot.

The curtain door to the changing room was thrown to the side suddenly and in popped Louis, looking like he was grumbled curse words under his breath. Harry backed up against the mirror, letting out a gasp at the sudden entering.

"Shit! 'Arry!" Louis cried out. The shorter boy jumped back quickly and his eyes flitted up and down Harry's body. Seemingly suddenly relieved and a bit upset at the fact that Harry still had his trousers on. He lurched himself back and pulled the curtain shut.

"Louis, check if someone's in first!" Harry yelled back.

"I'm sorry mate, Niall was annoying me. Constantly going on and on about you an' Emily an'... well I just wasn't paying attention!" Louis said from the other side of the curtain. Harry crossed his hands into his armpits, covering his front. He pulled his shirt back on quickly.

"I's okay, really mate." Harry said, speaking more softly through the thick grey sheet then.

"I am sorry though, shitty of me to barge in like that. Guess it's a good way to get to know each other though?" He said. The statement was so blunt. Harry choked on his spit, coughing suddenly. He heard Louis chuckle slightly to himself from the other side.

"Jesus, Louis." Harry said. He rested his head against the side wall of the changing room and listen to Louis laugh. The sound was comforting him. He felt a warm glow swell in his belly. And he listened to that boy laugh.