Work Text:
The room infront of us resembled that of a movie theatre. The hallways were lined with scarlet curtains, draping all the way to the floor. The carpet, a similar shade of red, lay out bare in front of us, awaiting our walk down the aisle. The dimmed lights illuminating the corridor created an almost peaceful atmosphere that all three of us did not fit into. We were tense and on edge, Kunikida, Yosano and me. A chilly gust of air, from the end of the hallway, brought us all out of our previous trance of staring at our environment and helped to remind us of the situation we had been in only seconds ago.
For the past 2 hours, the ADA had been fighting relentlessly to defeat an ability user who appeared in Yokohama that same day and made themselves known by targeting multiple businesses. Their intentions were unknown, but due to the numbers of civilians who had already been injured, we decided it was time for us to intervene. Looking back on it now, it was a grave risk for us to jump into this fight blind considering we had very little knowledge about the enemy, except for the fact that they have an ability which involves some form of mind manipulation. But Dazai seemed unfazed and nonchalant about this ordeal, therefore I was filled with confidence that we would breeze through this fight. However, judging by the situation we are in now, I really need to stop putting so much faith in Dazai-san.
As it turns out, the ability users ‘mind manipulation’ didn't involve the stereotypical hallucinations or delusions we all naturally assumed it would have been. It wasn't until we were sent here, after 2 hours of constant fighting, that we realised the true powers of this person. At the current moment, I am unable to remember what exactly transpired between the ability user and us three. All I can say is that, at some point, I recall Dazai-san colliding with us in order to prevent an attack, which unfortunately led to Kunikida, Yosano and myself ending up in the current situation we find ourselves in, Dazai’s mind.
The eerie silence from the three of us is what led me to speak up first,
“Urmm, what now?”
Kunikida was the second to speak, following on with “We need to proceed with caution, stay close to each other and simply pray the others on the outside will eventually help us”
“We are in Dazai-san's mind right?” I said with little to no confidence.
“It would appear so, judging by what transpired and the nature of the enemy’s ability.”
“I don't like the feel of this place” Yosano finally chimed in. She has remained quiet this whole time, tentatively taking in her surroundings with a grimace on her face.
“Dazai keeps his past private for a reason, we are aware of his former title as the ‘Demon Prodigy’. However that is only the surface of the iceberg for what he allows us to see, intruding in his head like this feels incredibly invasive.” As she was saying this, Kunikida and I were both collectively nodding our heads in agreement.
“Not to mention the fact that we may stumble upon something we shouldn't have seen”
Kunikida saying this sent a chill down my spine for some reason, leaving me thinking that surely whatever we may find in Dazai-san's mind will not be pleasant.
Looking at the room in front of us, we noticed that each curtain had a sign placed in front of it. Upon further inspection, the first sign we came across had the title ‘first kill’ with a timestamp written next to it. Neither of us dared to see behind the curtain but from simply looking at the date it is clear this took place when Dazai-san was only 11. From that moment on, we all realised that the rest of the drapes must contain some sort of milestones from Dazai-san's life. Hesitantly, I stepped forward with curiosity getting the better of me. The others followed close behind, allowing their eyes to wander from sign to sign. The majority of the first bunch had unnerving and sinister titles, most of which took place during Dazai-san’s mafia days judging by the date.
“I don’t want to open them” came Yosano with a stern voice. Kunikida and I don't blame her. Not only would it be traumatising for the two of us, but Yosano has witnessed first hand the gruesome acts Mori will put his men through in order to achieve success. We mutually agreed to ignore any curtains with a bone-chilling name and advance to the far side of the hallway. After a few more minutes a shout from Kunikida is what brought me over to this curtain. We all glanced down and in union read the title over and over again which said ‘first love’.
“This one also feels too personal.” Kunikida exclaimed.
“Oh come on, how often does Dazai talk about his love life other than harassing random women for a double suicide.” Yosano continued with “Don't you want to find out who the lucky woman was that won over Dazai’s ‘cold’ heart.”
I had to admit that I myself was deeply intrigued, more so especially since this was still during Dazai’s time in the Port Mafia. Kunikida took one glance at me and Yosano and with a simple “Fine, but we are not allowed to talk about this afterwards” he pulled back the velvet curtain.
Instantly, the atmosphere felt different. Gentle music played in the background of this room and all previous tension seemed to disappear from our bones. Walking in we were greeted with a screen. We all stood patiently, anticipation and curiosity now seeming to appear on Kunikida’s face. As the clip started to roll we were greeted with a familiar voice.
“You're too slow, that’s why you can never win against me” was Dazai-san's voice, although it clearly sounded younger and with a hint of its usual mischief. He appeared to be in an arcade, with a controller in his hand and a big grin on his face. However something was different this time. His smile, normally appearing fake and forced, was so genuine here that it left the three of us in wonder. None of us were expecting the voice that followed Dazai’s comment.
“I’m not TOO slow, you're just cheating you piece of shit” Kunikida , Yosano and i were left speechless upon us all recognising that voice.
“Chuuuyaaa, it’s no fun if your moping and whining the whole time”
What we were all witnessing was revealed to be a love-stricken Dazai-san playing in an arcade with none other than Chuuya Nakahara. He had a glimmer in his eye that could almost be akin to happiness as well as a faint blush dusting his cheeks as he continued to make fun. I couldn't believe it was all because of this one boy and I don't think the other two could either.
“Well…this is interesting” came Yosano.
“And private. I told you we shouldn't be intruding like this” Kunikida pointed out.
“I've never seen Dazai-san smile like that.” I said. Almost completely unaware I spoke aloud and not in my head. The others went silent, clearly thinking something in their heads before giving one last look at the two boys on screen and saying “let's move on”.
I don't think any of us could believe what we saw, mentioning that there is a possibility it was just a mistake of the title. However, when we came across the next one that had ‘first kiss’ written across it, none of us held back from peeking inside to see if Chuuya was also there. If Kunikida considered the last one ‘too personal’ then this one definitely tops that. Poking our heads inside, I saw the same recognizable brown and orange hair on screen. Dazai-san and Chuuya-san were sitting on top of a grassy hill. They appeared to be deep in conversation, or at least Chuuya was. For Dazai-san was doing nothing more than gazing at Chuuya as he spoke. We all watched as his gaze would drift between Chuuya’s lips and his eyes. They looked a bit older here compared to the last curtain we were in, however the way Dazai-san was gawking at Chuuya had certainly not changed. If anything it looked more obvious. Seconds later Chuuya-san asked “OI mackerel, are you alright? I've been talking to you for the past 5 minutes and you've done nothing but glare at me. Got something you would like to say?”
It took Dazai approximately 3 seconds to process what had been said to him before he was leaning in and ever so gently placing his lips onto Chuuya’s. Giving him time to back out if he wanted to. But he didn’t. Instead, Chuuya-san just smiled into the kiss as if to say ‘what took you so long’. The room I was in remained quiet as we all came to the conclusion that Dazai clearly had something special with his former partner. I was unsure whether to look away or not, the kiss continued on for another minute or so before the two boys pulled away and just gazed at one another. The video for some reason still wasn't over but by that point Kunikida had said “ let's head out of here now and not pry anymore. Besides, the others should be getting us out of here soon.” As he said this, his facial expression gave away a hint of sadness clearly due to the realisation he doesn't know his partner as well as he thought he did. In an attempt to cheer him up I mentioned “ Dazai-san values you as his partner, he will open up to us in his own time.”
“That bastard and I have been working together for over 2 years now, he has never once smiled at me like that or in fact any of us” he responded with.
Yosano pitched in saying “It's clear that those two were not just work partners and to be honest, the way Dazai still yaps about Chuuya sometimes implies his feelings have not entirely gone away.”
Upon saying that, we all felt a sudden change in the air. Realising that we must now be returning back to the outside world. I will forever be grateful for that, for as we started to slowly disappear I caught a glimpse of the next curtain saying “first time”. It doesn't take a genius like Dazai or Ranpo-san to figure out what is behind there and I realised that some things are better left in the past as nothing more than a pleasant memory shared privately between two people. I understand now why Dazai-san chooses not to share everything. When you no longer have something it's more special to keep those memories to yourself to look back on fondly. Besides, from the brief time I have known Dazai I have learnt that he is always capable of getting back what he wants.