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It was a nice day with the perfect weather, and Tess hated the world for it.
The sun glared down through the windshield, too bright for a day that felt so impossibly wrong, the warmth on her skin too nice for the day it was. The light was almost too sharp, cutting through the air and leaving her feeling scraped raw. Every time she blinked, the brightness seared itself into her vision, as though it was branding this day, this loss, into her memory.
Tess could barely remember the drive to Daisy’s school - her hands gripped the steering wheel of her car like a lifeline, the road blurring as her mind spiraled. As she gripped the wheel, the sun glared down through the windshield, merciless and unforgiving, leaving her no shadows to hide in.
The day was too beautiful, too vivid, like it was flaunting its normalcy, its warmth, in the face of her brokenness.
The weight on her chest pressed harder with every passing second.
The weight of being the oldest.
The weight of being the one who had to hold it together, even when she felt like she was falling apart.
The weight of losing them.
The warmth of the sun acted as a violent reminder of everything that should have been. It was soft, gentle, comforting - it was everything that was now lost. Tess squinted against the glare, her heart pounding. She wished it would rain, that the sky would open and spill down all the tears she couldn’t let herself shed.
She couldn't cry.
She had to keep it together. She was the oldest. She had to keep it together.
She couldn't let herself cry.
She parked and immediately spotted the crowd of reporters - too many of them, all of their eyes on her. How had they even gotten here so quickly? How had they already found out? Their cameras and microphones were waiting like vultures, ready to feed on the wreckage of her life. If they knew, the headlines were probably already out there.
'Famous Stunt Drivers Killed in Crash - The Darrett Disaster.'
The thought twisted her insides.
Her parents hadn’t even been dead for a full day, and they were already a story, a tragedy for everyone to dissect, entertainment for those who knew nothing about the loss of a parent.
And Dan? He was with Uncle Zach, sitting around a table somewhere talking about funerals, about wills and plans and everything that Tess hated. It made her sick to think they were already planning to bury Mom and Dad, like they had to rush to put them in the ground before Tess could even fully grasp that they were gone.
They hadn't even told Daisy yet, and they were already planning where Daisy would stand during the funeral, who would carry the caskets, who would say what.
They hadn't even told Daisy yet.
The reporters shifted as they spotted her stepping out of the car, cameras flashing like stars popping into the sky.
Just get Daisy. Get Daisy and go.
Questions hit her like slaps in the face as she shoved through the crowd.
"Miss Darrett, can you tell us how you're feeling?"
"Tess, how do you plan to carry on your parents’ legacy?"
"Where is your brother, Miss Darrett? Was he involved in the crash?"
"Any statement for the fans of the Pole Position Stunt Show? Will you take on running the show?"
"What caused the crash? Who's at fault?! Give us a statement!"
She kept her sunglasses on, trying to keep her face hidden from their prying eyes. Her heart pounded in her chest, the pressure building as every question blurred together into one overwhelming wave of noise.
She couldn’t breathe.
But she had to. Daisy was waiting inside, and Tess had to keep it together for her little sister.
She pushed through the doors and into the quiet of the school. The sudden silence hit her hard, the cool air a sharp contrast to the chaos outside. Tess leaned against the wall for a second, closing her eyes.
You’re the oldest, she told herself. You don’t get to fall apart.
She walked down the hall to the office where Daisy was waiting. Tess peeked through the door’s small window, and there she was - swinging her legs, scribbling in a coloring book like nothing had changed. Like their whole world hadn’t collapsed.
And to her, it hadn't. Not yet.
Tess swallowed hard, pushing the door open. "Hey, Daisy," she said, trying to keep her voice steady.
Daisy looked up, a bright smile lighting up her face. "Tess!" she jumped up, running over and hugging Tess tightly around the waist. "Where’s Mom and Dad? Why didn’t they come to pick me up?"
Tess felt her throat close up, her arms tightening around her little sister.
You have to be strong. You have to.
"They couldn’t make it today," Tess managed, forcing herself to smile even though it felt like her face would crack. "But I’m here to take you home, Uncle Zach is there!"
Daisy looked confused but didn’t push it. Tess was thankful for that. Not yet. Not here.
She wanted Daisy to have as much time as possible, before Tess broke the horrible news.
Daisy was too young, to lose everything.
As they made their way out of the building, Tess tried to keep the pace casual, like everything was normal. Like her whole world wasn’t unraveling.
"Are we still going to the park tonight?" Daisy asked, her voice bright with excitement. "Mom and Dad promised we’d go after school and have a picnic. I packed my favorite snacks in my backpack! Even though they melted, but I think I'll still eat them."
Tess felt like the ground was falling out from beneath her.
The park. The picnic. The plans her parents had made - the last promise they would ever make to Daisy, never to be fulfilled. And now Tess had to lie. She had to say something, anything, to keep Daisy from knowing the truth. Not yet. She couldn’t handle it yet.
It was the perfect day for a picnic.
The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and their parents were dead.
Tess's hands trembled as she gripped Daisy’s hand a little tighter. "Yeah," she whispered, her voice cracking. "We’ll still go later. Maybe... maybe Uncle Zach can come, yeah?"
The lie tasted bitter on her tongue, but what else could she say? Daisy looked so hopeful, her eyes wide with excitement.
Tess could barely stand to look at her little sister, nausea swirling in her gut as she told lie after lie.
Outside, Tess moved quickly, keeping Daisy close as they slipped through a side exit to hopefully avoid the reporters. The last thing she needed was for Daisy to see them, to hear them shouting questions about their dead parents.
Tess hurried them to the car, every step feeling heavier than the last. Her hands shook as she buckled Daisy into the back seat.
The reporters were gone, perhaps moved off by school security, and Tess thanked everything she could think of for that small blessing.
"Where’s Dan?" Daisy asked, twisting in her seat to look around. "Is he with Mom and Dad?"
"Dan’s with Uncle Zach," Tess said quietly, trying to keep her voice steady. "They’re... they're talking about things. Important stuff."
Like the funeral. Like putting Mom and Dad in the ground before Tess had even had the chance to breathe. The pressure in her chest was unbearable now, the weight of it all crushing her.
"Will Dan come with us later, too?" Daisy asked, her voice still filled with that innocent hope. "To the park? Mom said she was going to ask him yesterday."
Tess swallowed back the sob clawing its way up her throat and forced a nod. "Yeah," she lied again. "Yeah, he’ll... he'll meet us later."
She slammed the door harder than she meant to and climbed into the driver’s seat, her fingers clutching the wheel until her knuckles turned white. She blinked furiously against the tears building behind her sunglasses.
You’re the oldest, she told herself again. You can’t fall apart. You can’t.
But it felt like she was unraveling, the cracks spreading as she held everything inside.
Their parents were dead, and it all fell upon her shoulders now.
She couldn't do this.