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“I’ll leave Inazuma.”
It was a peaceful afternoon, there was nothing unordinary. Kazuha left the book on the table, he was surprised. It was unexpected. He knew he would never joke about something like this but he couldn’t make sense. He had a lot of questions.
“Why? Where will you go? Does Ei-sama know?”
Big crimson eyes found sharp like ice purple pupils. The cold stares felt like they held no emotion, but Kazuha knew there was fear and worry beneath them.
“You don’t need to know why and where I am going. Also, why does that woman have to know? Can’t I do something that she does not know?”
Kazuha sighed. The person was not easy to deal with. He knew that already but he let those thorny words hurt himself every time. For now, he put his own emotions in a corner.
“Where did it come from so suddenly? You didn’t talk about leaving until now. What is wrong, Kunikuzushi?”
Kazuha could see a shimmer radiating from purple eyes. Both of them didn’t move since he put the book on the table. They were sitting on the ground and looking at each other. A breeze was coming from the open shoji and making their hair fly. Kazuha watched the dance of purple strands with air. They were so long that they were touching the ground. Kazuha wanted to caress those silky hairs.
“What is wrong?! This is the exact problem! I am not this person Kazuha. Kunikuzushi… I am not like myself when I am with you but I don’t know who I am and how I am. I am just Ei’s faulty puppet. I have no function, I'm just waiting like a doll in a showcase.”
Kazuha stood up and sat next to Kunikuzushi. His voice cracked at the end of the sentence. Kazuha looked at tired eyes. He took flawless hands between his calloused ones and squeezed.
“I am neither a human, so I can die; nor a god, so I can live. They expect nothing from me. I have no purpose in life. You even accept me as I am. Why do you do that? I have nothing to offer except my bad temperament. Why do you put up with someone like me?”
Kazuha said nothing. He wrapped his arm around the cold body and stroked his back. He gulped and separated from Kunikuzushi. When he looked into purple eyes he started talking undoubtedly.
“I know very well what kind of a person you are. You are the last person to feel worthless. Everybody knows you are working, struggling for this country. Nobody doubts you or who you are. Maybe you don’t realize but you are a more important god than Ei to the people of Inazuma. For me… You are more important than anybody else in this world. Kunikuzushi… Every touch of you is my door to heaven. Your presence next to me is the salve that soothes my weary heart. I don’t try to put up with you, I love you the way you are.”
Kunikuzushi wanted to reply, but he didn’t say anything; he just sighed. He turned his face from Kazuha to outside. He left the room from the open shoji and went to the veranda. As always, Inazuma was crowded and busy. People were strolling on the streets; eating, shopping, working… Kunikuzushi could see all of them but none of their voices would reach the highest room in the Tenshukaku. He was only allowed to watch from afar. He was spending all of his days just watching outside. He was doing nothing, like what they wanted from him.
“At least take me with you.”
Kunikuzushi turned to Kazuha, who was next to him, again. He was surprised but didn’t show it, he had enough experience to do it. Kazuha was standing one foot away from him with a determination he had never seen before. Kunikuzushi would never forget this expression throughout his life. He never wanted to hurt someone he cherished. Because then he would be the same as his creator. He hated that idea, but it happened all the time. He cannot go beyond the boundaries given to himself.
“You already know the answer.
Kazuha bowed, he seemed hurt. He reached for Kunikuzushi’s face. His gaze wandered around the porcelain face like he would never see it again. Maybe he really would not see it. There was an infinite range of possibilities in the vast lands of Tevyat. Besides, what was the value of a human life next to a god's endless one?
Kazuha’s eyes meet with the purple ones. Those glassy eyes looked empty to others but Kazuha was seeing the universe in them. The hatred, fear, sorrow… But mostly he was seeing the love. This was what the other people didn't understand or chose not to understand. Kunikuzushi was full of love. But he was forced to close himself to the outside, and the wall he built got thicker. Now, it was impossible to see the back of the wall. Kunikuzushi was tired of trying. He had lost faith that anyone would understand him. Even his creator doesn’t understand him. Kazuha tried to demonstrate the opposite countless times, but it was meaningless until Kunikuzushi broke the chains that bound him.
Kazuha was still holding Kunikuzushi’s cheeks. He dipped his hands to silky hair and shortened the space between them. Kunikuzushi’s eyes were closed but Kazuha could see the tears that wet his eyelashes. He must see it wrong. Gods did not cry, they could not cry. It wasn’t in their nature. Kunikuzushi opened his eyes slowly. At the same time, a teardrop slid on his smooth cheek and fell on the wooden floor.
When the cold lips met with him, it was Kazuha’s time to close his eyes. He wrapped his hand around Kunikuzushi as if he would disappear anytime. When their lips separated, Kazuha’s heart was racing, and his cheeks reddened. Some things never lose their impact no matter how much time passes. He was still holding Kunikuzushi very tight and did not allow their bodies to be separated. It could be a pathetic move but it was the last branch he held on to. If he released Kunikuzushi now, he knew he could never hold on to him again. He brought his face near to his delicate neck and inhaled the lavender scent. The heavy scent was making his head dizzy. He started kissing the exposed parts of his purple kimono. All the while, he was muttering about how much he loved him.
He could not see Kunikuzushi’s face but it was obvious that he wasn’t uncomfortable. He was letting Kazuha hold his waist. That day, they both remained inseparable until the sun began to set.
“I love you too, Kazuha. Never forget it.”
_________
The next day Kazuha was summoned to the palace by the Almighty Shogun at the first light. While Kazuha was being interrogated in the room where electro power was emanating from every corner, Kunikuzushi had already set sail toward the ocean.