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Bdubs was loyal like a dog.
His relationship with Etho was complicated at the best of times. Complicated in this sense did not mean stressed, or tense, but more… intricate. Well over a decade of whatever relationship they had had made a fine mess of emotions to unwind. Though they had never agreed on a word or name for their relationship, they both understood it, so Bdubs thought. They’d sleep in the same bed, they’d hold hands, Bdubs would kiss the man on the cheek before he left to work on his redstone and Etho would hum contently, hiding that precious smile behind his mask. It was routine by now.
The life games always jostled that, it made Bdubs anxious, nerves barely below the surface. It's why he made a pact with Etho each game, creating at least some sense of normalcy. This game, though, this one was different somehow. Something about it made his nerves feel on fire.
Bdubs never considered himself a particularly jealous man, but the way Etho laughed and leaned into Cleo like they’d been living together for years seemed to spark something in him. Grian only seemed to come along later, and that was fine, he didn’t spark that magical look in Etho like Cleo could. He wasn’t jealous , how could he be? It wasn’t like Etho wasn’t his own person, with his own life. He didn’t even know if Cleo and Etho liked each other like that! And even if she did, Etho was still his, right?
Wasn’t he?
Bdubs would never admit to ignoring Etho. How could he? Bdubs just… didn’t come around as often, he’s decided. He had this selfish part of himself that wanted to see if Etho cared to notice his disappearance. Would the other think to check on him? The thought of not at least flying by to give his two cents on whatever he was building broke his heart. He just… had to. It wasn’t anything against Cleo, he loved her to bits, but… curiosity kept gnawing at him.
Bdubs communicator dinged in his back pocket. He sat his pick down for a moment, stepping back to appreciate his newest silo before pulling out his comms.
> World chat
>Cleo: Not to brag but look at this cutie
>Cleo: Image
Bdubs brow furrowed for a moment, waiting for the image to load. Bdubs couldn’t help the smile that broadened on his face. It was Etho, asleep on Cleos shoulder. He looked so... soft, his long lashes laying so sweetly on his cheeks, his hair falling in his face. His heart clenched at the sight. He wished he could be beside them, pressing kisses to both of their foreheads. Jealousy gnawed at him once more. Why wasn’t he invited to whatever they’d been doing? wasn’t Bdubs Ethos…
He wasn't his boyfriend, was he?
His comms pinged again,
> World chat
>Cub: That’s rare
>Gem: Oh this is the perfect blackmail, C. Saving <3
Bdubs sighed softly, slipping into the chair beside his workstation. He leaned his weight onto his arm, holding his head up as he stared at the image for another moment.
>Bdubs: He looks adorable.
he lightly tossed his communicator to the side, pushing his thoughts away from the dark thoughts lingering in the back of his mind. The problem was, he couldn’t stand the thought of Etho being so sweet with someone else, Cleo cooing at him, pressing kisses to his sweet face. He tried so desperately to keep building, to focus on anything else. He huffed, sitting on the side of the wall. Why did this all bother him so much? Why did it get under his skin? Etho wasn’t his . A lump raised in bdubs throat as he leaned back, looking up at the setting sun. It all came to him suddenly. He distantly remembered the rumors of Etho saying he was dead weight a couple seasons ago, or when Cleo, Scar, and him teamed up, Etho refused to be a part of the clockers. In the past Bdubs seemed to be the one always chasing, and Etho always seemed to be so free. Had Etho grown tired of him? Was he old news now? He was such a loyal dog to Etho, always following him around, nodding and smiling up at him as if he was the one that hung the stars.
his comms dinged again.
> World Chat
>Cub: Bubs, you sleeping? I can take care of it.
Bdubs looked back up from his wall, noticing mods spawning around his base. He had been so caught up in his thoughts he hadn’t realized it’d gotten dark already.
>Bdubs: No, no, im on it
BdoubleO100 is resting. Sweet dreams!
Bdubs sleep was restless. He kept tossing and turning and he was sure Climb 10 was restless too, huffing in her stable, stomping her poor hooves. He couldn’t sleep when she was upset. That, he decided, was why he couldn’t sleep, not the impending identity crisis and possible loss of the person he loved the most. After a second or two of brooding under the covers, he got up, starting his favorite part of the day. He made his coffee and looked out on his perfectly manicured plains for a moment before sidling by Climb 10s stable. She looked towards him with a huff, shaking her luxurious mane.
“Hey sweetheart.” He cooed, sliding her fingers through the hair, catching a few tangles. “Goodness, you’ve had a worse night than me, huh?” She stomped her hooves in response, giving him a look he knew too well.
“I know sweetheart. but breakfast first.” He cooed, setting his coffee down long enough to pour scoops of perfectly balanced mill into her trough. It was Saturday, most of his server-mates' off day where they spent relaxing in their freshly built bases. Saturday's Etho and him would ride together around the server. It was something they had started seasons ago, hell, probably before Hermitcraft even existed. Climb 10 seemed to have remembered their routine, eager to see her horse-friend (as Etho called them), Disappointment. Bdubs couldn’t stop the surely goofy looking smile on his face at the thought of riding together with Etho. Half the time these days they wouldn’t even ask if the other is free; just turning up to the other's house sometime that morning. Would Etho show up? Or was he still busy with Cleo of all people?
Bdubs cursed himself for thinking like that about one of his dear friends. Cleo had done nothing wrong! They were just getting closer, they were always fond of each other, but this was new. Climb 10 snuffled, nosing against his palm.
“Oh no sweetheart, you eat all those oats, and then you can have an apple.” Bdubs scolded fondly, a smile rising to his face again. If anyone could cheer up his mood it was sweet Climb.
Bdubs had let her out to graze the perfectly manicured fields outside her stable while he cooked himself some breakfast, sipping over his quickly cooling coffee. The bacon popped and crackled as it cooked, the smell filling the petite house with the mouthwatering scent. Soon, the crack of eggs, then the sizzling of buttered toast added to the symphony of the morning ritual. As Bdubs hummed to his own thoughts he heard the slow creak of his front door.
“Climb? that you? you know you can’t come in here.” Bdubs remarked, pausing after hearing no snuffle or word from whoever was at the door. He slid his pan off the heat, keeping his spatula in hand.
“Demise is over, Mr. whoever!” Bdubs hollered, pointing the spatula out in front of him as he turned the corner to the wide open door. “...Hello?”
“Bdubs?” Etho barely got out before Bdubs screeched, slapping him square in the face with the plastic spatula.
“Judas priest you scared the hell outta me!” Bdubs squawked, watching Etho chuckle softly, wiping off the smear of bacon grease Bdubs had adorned him with.
“I was gonna surprise you.” Etho hummed, seemingly gauging Bdubs’ reaction.
“Yeah- well you completed that, that’s for sure!” He scoffed, returning to the kitchen promptly.
“Not like that.” Etho murmured, leaning beside Bdubs as he watched him cook. He watched him with those analytical eyes, ones that made Bdubs skin crawl in all the best ways. He tried to hide his shiver as he replaced his pan onto the stove.
“Well- then like what?” Bdubs sputtered, putting a hand on his hip.
“Well I was hoping you’d still be in bed.”
“Oh come on, you know me better than that.” Bdubs rolled his eyes before pausing, thinking over the implications of Ethos words for a moment. “Now hold on a second- you can’t just- just come over here whenever you want, wanting to get in my pants when you’ve spent the last like- two darned weeks all hitched up to Cleo! That's not how this works!” Bdubs huffs, gripping the pans handle tighter, his pout firmly set in his lips.
“I didn’t- that’s not what I meant ‘Dubs.” Etho sputtered, seemingly on his back foot. “and- and Cleo? what are you talking about?”
“I’ve seen the photos of you and Cleo all lovey dovey shmummy, ever since you two got back it’s been all you two seem to be able to do!” Bdubs voice rose, flush rising in his cheeks. “Hell! this is the first time we’ve talked since we got back! Haven’t bothered to even write!”
Etho stood there, staring wide eyed. Bdubs couldn’t look at him. He stared down at the slowly cooking yolks of the eggs, tapping his spatula on the side of his pan.
“Are you gonna say shomethin’ or what.” Bdubs grumbled, setting down his spatulas. “can’t even say a ‘hi how are you since we got back from death games?’.”
There was a long, tense pause, one Bdubs was all too familiar with. one of etho’s gears slowly turning.
“I don’t know what to say.” Etho spoke clearly, not a stutter to his voice. “I thought you’d understand.”
“Understand what? that you have a new broad to hand your fricken coat on?-”
“Did- Did you just call Cleo a broad ?” Ethos anger simmered, his voice rising.
“What, am I wrong? Let me guess- the only reason you came over here was because Cleo was busy.” Bbdubs practically growled out, his knuckles white around the handle of the spatula. Bdubs finally looked up at Etho, a stony, resigned look on his face.
“I think I’ll leave you to your breakfast.” Etho decided on, his footsteps tapped against the carpeted wooden floors, the doors creaking as it swung shut. Bdubs stood there, looking down at his quickly burning toast.
“Damn it all to the hells!” He huffs, throwing the toast into the trash. He glanced out the window for a moment, staring at Etho as he hopped onto disappointment. He heard Climb 10 whinny in the distance, just as Etho rode off, not taking a moment to look back.
it was one thing to be mad at Etho in his head, but to yell at him? to see him ride off and not look back? That was a million times worse. That was a knife in the gut, whether Etho meant it or not. He couldn’t look Etho in the eye after he’d hollered at him like that, he just couldn’t.
Another week went by as he tried to busy himself with builds and textures. It was all for not, nothing could take his mind off of his best friend, his…
His Etho.
Today, Friday, nearly a week after he exploded at Etho, he had come to the realization that he’d been ignoring all the hermits, not just Etho. He'd barely left his farm!
To his dismay, though, his communicator pinged. He sat down, looking over the texturing on his latest silo for a moment before pulling the communicator out of his pocket. His stomach dropped as he saw who it was from. Cleo.
>Cleo hey, we need to talk. I’m coming over.
It seemed his hermitage would be coming to an end.
Getting a chance to see Cleo was usually the highlight of his week, but now, he couldn’t bare to even respond. He started pacing back and forth in front of the cylindrical build, worrying his lip with each passing thought. Had Etho told her what he had said? Would she be mad? Etho of all people would have caught on to all the cruel things he’d thought about Cleo- hell about the both of them. His embarrassment was quickly overshadowing his jealousy for whatever those two had.
Bdubs proceeded to spend the next three and a half minutes turning into a pile of anxious, hyperventilating mush. When he heard the trill of a flight rocket arc through the air he almost threw up.
“Dubs!” Cleo shouted as she landed in his field, looking around for a moment.
“I’m- I’m here!” Bdubs waved, having migrated to his front porch. Maybe he could offer tea to her before she brutally murdered him for the horrible thoughts he’s had.
“Bdubs, I'm glad to see you.” Cleo smiled, walking up to him, her hand clasping his shoulder.
Huh?
“U-Uhm. Yeah. Good to see you too.” He gulped, staring up at her with wide eyes. She raised a brow, smiling slowly.
“You look like you’ve seen a zombie Bdubs.” She chuckled at her own joke. Bdubs laughed dryly, awkwardness dripping from everything that came out of his mouth.
“Why don’t you uh- come in for some tea?” Bdubs offered, his smile tilted.
“Sure, let's talk over some tea.” Cleo hummed, following Bdubs into the small cottage.
Bdubs slid the cup and saucer in front of Cleo, as well as one in front of him, placing a bowl of sugar in between them.
“This looks delightful Bdubs.” Cleo smiled, scooping spoonfuls of sugar into her cup.
“So…” Bdubs drummed his fingers against the side of his cup, looking up at her. “You wanted to talk about something?”
“Straight to business huh? That’s not like you.” Cleo smiled.
“Well you know.” Bdubs laughed weakly. Cleo raised an eyebrow in suspicion, but said nothing of it.
“I wanted to talk about Etho.” It felt as if Cleos words were a lightning bolt through him, his nerves fried at the edges.
“What about him?” Bdubs hid his face behind his cup as his voice cracked, clutching onto it for dear life.
“Etho hasn’t been right since saturday. Whatever happened between you two really shook him up. I'm worried about him.” Cleo sighed.
“Oh goodness gracious… Did he say anything about what happened?” Bdubs stared into the cup, his gut churning.
“Well he’s etho, so it’s not like he told me much. but…"Cleo sighed, leaning back in her seat. “He hasn’t replied to my messages, and he’s been down in that frog pit all week. He won’t go to bed at any reasonable time.” Cleo sipped her tea. “Either he had a sudden burst of energy to work on Ravager Rush or he is desperate to get away from that head of his.”
The dam in Bdubs head burst.
“Cleo it’s all my fault,” he blurted out.
“Oh?” She quirked an eyebrow.
“I yelled at him and- Cleo I’m so sorry-” tears welled up in Bdubs eyes. “I got so jealous and- and I-”
“Bdubs, why are you apologizing to me?” She smiled kindly, leaning down to meet his gaze.
“I- I was so jealous of you and Etho- he hadn’t talked to me since we all got back to hermitcraft- I couldn’t stand it, I just-”
“Wanting the attention of your boyfriend isn’t something to apologize for, Dubs.”
“Cleo that’s the thing, he isn’t- he isn’t mine! We’ve never… I got mad because my best friend was hanging out with you! That’s- That’s stupid of me.” He wiped his tears from his cheek on his sweater, snuffling weakly.
“Oh Bdubs…” Cleo sighed fondly. “You’re you. He's Etho . It doesn’t matter what you two are, you are each others.”
“But-”
“Let me finish,” Cleo interrupted. “I'll admit I've been keeping Etho all to myself these last couple weeks, but if you were uncomfortable you should have talked with us. We would have figured something out where we were all happy.”
“I just… didn’t wanna intrude…” He gulped back another wave of tears. “It’s not my place to have an opinion on what he does.”
“Bdubs, you know you’re the only person Etho would care the opinion of, especially on something like this.”
Bdubs let out a ragged breath, hiding his face in his hands.
“I'm just…Cleo I'm so sorry,” He murmured. Cleo reached out, gently clasping his hand in their cold ones, pulling them from his face.
“I appreciate your apology, but you should go apologize to your Etho first.” She smiled, watching Bdubs let out a weak laugh.
“Okay, okay…” Bdubs sucked in a deep breath, giving Cleos hands one last squeeze before letting go. “Could you… be close by? Just in case?”
“Sure, Bubs.” She smiled, standing.
Bdubs was starting to worry his white t-shirt was going to start collecting his sweat, with how nervous he was getting. He stared at the door to Ethos house, bracketed by luscious plants and fauna, thriving in the humid climate Etho had decided to base in.
“You got this! I’ll be out here if you need me.” Cleo encouraged, leaning against the porch post.
“Here I go…” Bdubs mumbled, pressing the doorbell. It played out a joyful tune, one Bdubs remembered Etho composing while they were out for a coffee.
He waited,
and waited,
and waited,
and turned to Cleo,
“What if he-”
“Hello?” Etho murmured, in tune with the creaking of his front door as he pulled it open. He seemed to sober from whatever state he was in, seeing Bdubs. “Oh- hi. Uh…hey there.” Etho swallowed, blinking owlishly at him, as if he wasn’t sure Bdubs was real.
“Hi,” Bdubs squirmed, not quite sure what to do with his hands. “Can we talk?”
There was a long pause as Etho seemed to take apart his sentence word by word, examining it from all angles.
“Yeah, sure.” Etho mumbled, turning to shuffle into his house, leaving the door open for him to follow. Only now did Bdubs realize his attire. He was in an oversized shirt with Joels face on it, as well as pajama pants and bunny slippers. In the middle of the day?
“Were you asleep?” Bdubs hesitated, sitting down on the soft couch in Ethos living space (the one with a hole still in the roof). Etho sat across from him with a deflated huff.
“Uh, no.. just… haven’t changed.”
Bdubs understood Cleos worry now, Etho was off.
“I’m just gonna get to the darned thing, Etho. No messing about, or exploding on you this time.” Bdubs started, quickly grabbing Ethos attention.
“Oh…kay.”
“I’m sorry, Etho. God I'm so fricken sorry.” Bdubs deflated, leaning over his lap. “I was- am jealous of how much attention you’ve been giving Cleo. It wasn't fair of me. Like at all. It’s not like your… mine or anything.”
There was a pause, and just as Bdubs looked up Etho spoke, a heartbreaking look on his face.
“I'm not?”
“We’d never… said anything about it. I didn’t want to assume anything after… y’know. Shouting at you and all that business.” Bdubs mumbled, his knee bobbing fast, heel tapping the wooden floor. “I’ve just felt dreadful about it, Etho. I got mad at Cleo for- well for gosh darned nothing! for… seeing what I see, I guess.” Bdubs spilled his words, staring at the floor. Suddenly, he felt the couch dip beside him.
“Bdubs, you know I'm not good with words,” Their shoulders brushed. “but… you’re always… I… I dunno how to say this.” Etho laughed weakly. “You’re… home. I'll always come to roost, or something like that.”
Bdubs felt his heart swell. He leaned into Etho, hearing him huff pleasantly.
“I just wanted to apologize about all that. You shouldn’t feel… weighed down by me, by my… jealousy.”
“I didn’t realize you wanted to date Cleo. I mean, I think she’d be okay with that. and me and Cleo aren’t really dating, you know. we’re…just us.” Bdubs stared at etho incredulously, heat rising to his cheeks. “Is that… not what you meant…?”
“I-” Bdubs swallowed down the crack in his voice. “I hadn’t… I was jealous of her because she got to have you, my favorite-est person in the world. I hadn't… thought of it like that.”
Etho hummed, taking Bdubs hand into his own. “I'm sure Cleo wouldn’t mind another warm body.” bdubs guffawed.
“As if anyone could call your spindly spider fingers warm .” Bdubs smiling, thumb running across said spindly spider fingers. “If I remember right you are the one always shovin’ your fricken icecube-hands under my shirt!” Etho laughed softly, leaning his forehead against Bdubs.
“I missed you, B.” His words were soft, tempering Bdubs quickly. “I…I didn’t like not having you here.”
“I missed our Saturday rides.” Bdubs admitted, tears welling up in his eyes. Etho pulled his hands away from Bdubs, wiping his tears. His nose brushed Bdubs, their breath mingling for a moment.
“Can I-” Etho started,
“ Yes, gods yes-” Bdubs interrupted, nosing against Etho for a moment. He laughed warmly as Etho seemed to forget he was wearing a mask. Bdubs wiped a tear as Etho shyly pulled his mask off, his pale cheeks as red as cherries. Bdubs clasped Ethos face in his hands, admiring such porcelain under his tan fingers.
“Are you gonna keep looking or are you gonna kiss me, huh?”
“Still as sassy as ever, huh? Maybe I could find a way to shut you up.” Bdubs scooched closer, Etho smiling wide, showing off his chipped canine that stuck out from his lip.
“I think that’d mean you’d have to shut up too.”
“That's a risk I'm willing to take.” Bdubs smiled, pulling Etho into a sweet saccharin kiss.