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A crash of thunder split the sky with a furious roar. I paused a moment, getting my bearings. The rain was coming down heavily now, turning the earth beneath me into slick mud. I wrapped my cloak about myself and began to walk again; the storm was of no consequence. Well, no — the storm was very important. But not nearly as important as my purpose in traveling. I continued away from the shelter of the tree line, my boots slipping on the drenched grass.
Another roll of thunder made a confused moment — Rain. Wind. The ground coming abruptly closer. Blood. I looked at the gash in my hand for a second, and wrapped a scrap of cloth around it. No time for that now. I must continue. I pushed myself off the ground and walked into the gale. The storm's tempestuous fury whipped around me in gusts and flurries, tossing the tattered edges of my robe hither and thither. It was white, once. Its pure color is only a dim memory now, as it has long since faded to grey and been stained by the countless days of my journey. So long ago....
I remember when it all began. It was peaceful, then. A simple, peaceful day in a welcoming house. It was raining then, too, but a roaring fire kept out the worst of the cold. The blazing wood crackled merrily behind the grate, and the dancing flames reflected on a wineglass. Two wineglasses, in fact, both comfortably full despite how often they had been drunk from. The atmosphere was convivial; a gentle, intimate cordiality that makes one feel they are utterly safe and secure. It would have been a somnolent experience, but I was in intriguing company. The lady was an old friend, and perhaps the cleverest person I have ever met. We talked long into the night, about art, philosophy, and the sciences.
The fire was burning low when we chanced upon a most fascinating and unique topic. We began to discuss the strange things that lurk on the fringes of reality, just to the edge of the mind's eye. I knew a little; she knew more. We traded stories and snatches of legends whispered behind closed doors — just fragments, but what fragments they were. Scintillating rumors about things I could barely begin to imagine.
My tea grew cold as I listened, the wine bottle long since empty. I leaned in intently, and she seemed disquieted by the almost hungry look in my eyes. I had to know more, but there was suddenly a hard edge to her voice. She said that some things should not be meddled with, that it was unwise to gaze too deeply into the face of eternity. I settled back in my chair, and turned to face the window. I trusted her, yet I remained unconvinced. The lure of knowledge was too strong an attraction. For now, I contented myself with watching the rain stream down the glass. Drop by countless drop, their slithering progress was as inexorable as the march of armies.
I was brought from my reverie by the sound of the air being scythed in two by yet another earth-shattering bolt of lightning. The outline of it was like a crack in the roof of the world, bathing the landscape with ethereal blue light. I shivered at the thought — or perhaps it was the rain. There was quite a lot of it now, coming down from above almost like something solid. Coming from the sides too, from the strength of the wind. But I must press on. So close now....
I was sodden and bedraggled, yet I continued through the shoving winds that drove the rain before them like they wished to drown the world in one great deluge. I found myself at a cliff, where there was a strange semblance of tranquility. Perhaps it was the eye of the storm; and if so, I believed it, for I felt as if the storm was watching me. I heard words in that collusion of howling winds and roaring thunder that raged about me; indistinct, but not from the faintness of a whisper — rather, as the sound of something so vast and mighty that we may only catch an echo of its true enormity. Nevertheless, in that echo I heard something clearly, and though I did not know the words, I think I knew what it meant. As my eyes gazed into those of the storm, I gained a new understanding there. I stared at that sky that was so profoundly, ineffably grey, and came away with something else. An unearthly glint in my eyes, I wrapped the storm about myself like a cloak, and took the eye along with me.
I lowered my own eyes from that strange sky to a more terrestrial goal, sitting at the edge of the ocean. Careless. Nearly distracted from my path. Mustn't stray. I found the narrow path down the cliff face, and descended. I kept close to the wall for fear of falling; injury would be...inconvenient now. I felt a twinge of pain in my hand, and I saw a dark stain spreading across the bandage. Careless. I struggled over rough rocks now slick with rain until I reached the ground. Coarse sand crunched underfoot; grey sand, mixed with the grime and detritus of the sea. Sand...I was reminded of another time, wandering in the desert in search of the truth....
The sun shone down on me with a scorching heat in the desert. I had been on my search a long time, then, and was still hungry for knowledge. Though now a more terrestrial thirst held me, as I lay on the burning sands yearning for even a drop of precious, life-giving water. I made a faint-hearted attempt to drag myself further, but the exhaustion was too much. The endless waste stretched on in all directions, desolate. A faint hope lay in the shade of the ruins nearby, but I could not get enough purchase on the dunes to pull myself to them. My grasping hands found only fistfuls of sand, which sifted slowly between my fingers as I lay back in defeat.
No. I had not come so far to die in the sands of a far off land, forgotten and abandoned. An icy rage filled my veins, giving me the strength to go on. Water be damned, I was going to find answers. I crawled to the edge of the ruin and stared up at the cracked stone. It must have been a wondrous sight, once. Now all that was left was crumbling stone, being torn apart piece by piece by every stray breeze. But perhaps something else was left. I began to dig.
Hours later, my hands scoured raw from the sand, I found it. In the dust of a long-forgotten empire, there lay a fragment of the truth; a piece of stone, etched with a language from before time. My fingers traced the curves of every strange symbol. Pieces of a puzzle, almost put together. I would learn so much from these. It would make it all worth it, then.
From where I sat by the ruins, I could just see a storm gathering on the horizon.
I shook the memories off. No time to remember. The desert, the garden, all of them, they're just stepping stones. I must keep going. I crossed the pitiful beach, stopping at the edge between sea and land. There I saw a great ship, bound in many chains that wound all about it, yet fastened it not to the earth, but perhaps to some unseen force beyond my knowing. I would know soon enough. I gripped the wet metal firmly, and began to pull myself up onto the ship. The chains were heavy and strong, yet I somehow felt as if they were very old indeed. At last I stood upon the deck, upon the very vessel that would deliver me to my long-sought purpose. An ending to my endless quest.
In the moment of calm, I felt in my rain-soaked pocket, and lifted out the treasure therein. Two ancient silver coins, roughly made, but of great importance. They were so tarnished I could hardly make out the complex designs etched into the surface. I closed my hand on them briefly, feeling the cold silver, before putting them securely in my robe. "Pennies for the ferryman...." An old legend, but perhaps a grain of truth....
I would find out soon enough. I strode across the deck, and took up the helm. Though I had never so much as grasped the wheel of a ship before, when I did so now, I knew exactly what I had to do. The wind sang in my ears, filling my mind with knowledge. The storm filled my sails and carried me out into the roaring sea, the ship cutting a path through the churning water. Wood creaked and chains clinked; the wind whistled through the tattered rigging, and the waves broke against the ancient hull. The ship tilted and swayed as the tempest carried it along, great walls of water crashing into each other, glistening like a cascade of stars in the glow of the lightning.
The wheel spun under my hands, steering the ship towards my goal, harmonizing with the swirls of water and air, taking me through topographies unknown to man. "Under wailing sky, by path through and under and through again, betwixt there and then ye shall find the way, even as the heavens weep...." Grim words of guidance flared in my mind, navigation written in the fractured geometries of another place. I surged through mountains and gullies of twisted water that struck the chains and made them ring like bells in some unfathomable depth. Ethereal fire sprung up along the ship, edging the vessel with flickering black light. The flaming sails cast an unnatural glow across my desperate voyage. My shadow grew long, and as the flames danced, so it did too, contorting into eldritch shapes that could haunt one's dreams. A sign. Nearly there. Just need to go...this way!
With a great heave of sea and storm, I broke through, shattering unearthly barriers and slipping between the cracks. The ship settled onto corporeal waters once more, and I could see my destination on the horizon. If you could call it a horizon. The storm's eye still circled me watchfully, but even it would not venture over that sky. If you could call it a sky. I averted my gaze, not wanting to look at it any more than I had to. The storm pushed me to the shore before withdrawing, leaving only a fragment of itself inside my mind. Without further hesitation, I slid down a chain and set foot upon the ground.
I stood upon a field of ashes. They were grey as the storm clouds behind me, and soft as smoke. From the midst of all this ash grew many silver trees, majestic and strange, more like living things than statues. As I walked through the forest of silver, the trees shed their leaves at my passage, as if I were the herald of death. Perhaps I was. Shards of silver fell in a cascade around me like a trailing cloak, and lay abandoned in the ash, glimmering. Fascinating...but I daren't delay.
I paused a moment to find my way. Rain dripped from my robe onto the ground, creating a dark stain. My eyes closed, I could smell the petrichor of the storm mingling with the scent of burning from the forest, but there was something else. River water. This way. I turned and ran until I found a place where the trees grew thin. There, at the very edge, was the river.
Old scars ached as I gazed across at the city on the other side, a menacing stygian mass looming above me, rising to pierce the sky. But the river first. Careful now.... The dark water encircled the entire city, insofar as conventional geometry could be applied. There was no question of swimming; it would not be wise to touch that water. Has to work. Too close now for it to be otherwise. I took one of the silver coins from my pocket and threw it into the middle of the river. The deathly waters took it without a splash, but a few seconds later, ripples began to spread out from the center, and a shadowy mist formed just above the surface. Then, the water surged and rose, coalescing into a bridge of black ice. It seemed solid, but I approached cautiously. I moved slowly; it would not do to fall, and walking across it felt like the icy hands of death were clutching at my heels.
At last I reached the other side. As soon as both my feet were on the far bank, a great crack ran along the bridge, which shattered, the ice plunging back into the dark water from whence it came. One coin left. Just enough to get back. I turned my attention, at last, to the city.
The gates stood before me, blacker than the void between stars, a malevolent citadel in unending sable. They were of strange material, like obsidian, but so very, disturbingly, different. I had no idea how they were made, by mortal hand unknown or by some far stranger means; all that mattered was that I had the means to unmake them. From the wound in my hand I drew blood, and with it traced a sigil upon the wall — it blazed with light and flame for a moment, then died like a candle unceremoniously snuffed out. With it, the gate melted into shadow, the darkness sliding quietly away.
And so I entered the city. The shadows here were not still, but flitted like moths around the twisted spires that stuck up like blackened mockeries of trees. They looked almost organic, yet there was something disquietingly unnatural about them. Light fell strangely on them, but perhaps it was the light that was wrong; there seemed to be nothing that would cast it, and such a baleful light could never have come from the sun. The sun...how long has it been? No. No dread portal shall bar my path, no barrier shall halt my quest, and no reminiscence shall stay my hand.
The air was still as the grave, but the city nevertheless gave off a feeling that it was very much occupied. Around the edges of my sight, things lurked in the shadow. Nightmarish things, skulking always just too far away to make out, save for a glimpse when I turned my head. From the top of a tower, a dark figure watched with catlike eyes, but made no move towards me. A ringing silence filled the world, broken only by the sound of my footsteps, and even they seemed to be greedily devoured.
Through all this I walked and walked, following the path I'd long ago etched into my memory like a scar. There — one spire rose above the rest, a javelin of night hurled to impale the sky. And the sky bleeds for it, too.... I entered the tower, and began my ascent.
I climbed higher and higher, for what seemed like an age, step after step. As I went, shadows gathered and began swirling about my feet in something that was almost excitement. Within the tower, a sonorous melody formed from some veiled ether, a cloister-song of eternity. It rose in fervor the higher I climbed, new complexities forming to echo off the old. When I at last reached the top, the haunting cacophony had itself reached a pinnacle of musical fury, and the once-still air was roaring.
At long last! The moment for which I had yearned so long, for which I had striven all these years, was finally here! I trembled with anticipation. Last chance to turn back? Do I really want to know everything, no matter the cost? Whatever lingering doubts I had were ancient things, atrophied and weak. It was only lip service to a choice. I knew what I would do.
Here, atop the very crest of the world, I looked up, and gazed into the sky. It filled my eyes and my soul, rushing in like a welcome flood, pure and strong. I felt the caress of infinity; the soothing embrace of the universe flowing into my mind. I spoke in words of thunder that rolled off my tongue like the sea, words that would have drowned worlds beneath their depths. I drank eternity in deep, and felt the stars within my reach, cold white eyes by their thousands, gazing endlessly through space. I felt their flames, hotter than the greatest furnaces of magma could ever hope to be, burning endlessly. I saw the yawning gulf between stars, its scope beyond measure. I knew the death of universes, limitless in both sorrow and indifference.
I fell to my knees under the weight of it. It was like the entire never-ending vastness of time had settled on my shoulders — no, that was what had happened. When I closed my eyes I saw the aching hunger of black holes. I had heard everything in one single word. I had seen it on the tip of every falling star, I had felt it in every fiber of my being. I could taste it on every breath I took. It was in me, and it was me. My veins coursed with fire and the black emptiness of the cosmos. My soul rang in harmony with the tick of time. My heart beat as the heartbeat of universes.
I sought, and I found. When I stood up again, I was irrevocably changed. Where once there was a waste-walking seeker of truth, now there was...something else.
...
So, what am I now?
I laughed when I thought of the idea. It had been so long since I had laughed, I'd almost forgotten how. I pulled out the last silver coin, and resolved to find out the answer. Heads? Tails?
...
Edge.