Chapter Text
Dang it.
Darn it… Damn it, crap , shit , FUCK!
Those were the only words ricocheting through Dale Dimmadome’s mind as he stood in his private office in Dimmadome Global headquarters. He scowled at the glowing holographic display hovering above his desk, wishing it were an actual computer he could fling against the wall. The only physical thing within arm’s reach was a tablet. Good enough. He hurled it at the office door. The shattering crunch of glass and metal barely registered- he had plenty more where that came from. If a mess was made, a drone would clean it. Dale’s chest heaved. The world dulled around him, leaving only the neon-green words seared into his vision:
‘Urgent: Profit Loss’
Dale’s assistant walked into the room during this crisis, and the young adult sensed the stark shift in attitude his boss usually carried. “Is everything alright, sir?” his assistant asked, his lips quivering slightly as he saw Dale snap his attention towards him, eyes blazing.
“No, Larry. Everything is NOT alright!” Dale yelled.
“It’s… Peri-”
“Peri, Jerry, Larry, Mary, I DON’T CARE RIGHT NOW!” Dale Dimmadome was practically steaming from his ears, his eyes mirroring flames as he began to breathe erratically. “I’m in deep trouble! Those watches that I distributed prior to Founder’s Day? Suddenly they’re ‘inhumane’ and a ‘breach of privacy.’ And now I’m being sued by some ragtag band of ‘ethical consumers.’” He spat his words like he had drunk lemonade. “And my law team-?! Hah ! The Au-Pairs programmed to handle lawsuits keep overheating. Overheating!”
He ran his hands through his hair, gritting his teeth and shutting his eyes. ‘ Dimmadomes don’t stress ,’ he repeated in his head like a mantra. “If their processors can’t find a loophole, I’ll lose more money. Money that I’ve already started to lose,” Dale groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he slammed his fist on his desk.
Peri stood there, watching his boss have a breakdown. If he weren’t banned from being Dev’s Fairy Godparent, he wouldn’t be here right now. The periwinkled adult mentally cursed himself for putting himself in this situation. ‘ I knew I should have gone with Dad’s idea of being a cat ,’ he thought.
As Dale’s assistant, his job was simple: run errands, read over paperwork, schedule meetings, and take care of his son, Development “Devin” Dimmadome. He often relied on magic to breeze through the first three, leaving him more time for the kid. There was a loophole in Da Rules: nothing banned him from not interacting with Devin as a “regular human.”
Dale took ragged breaths, an Au-Pair hovering at his side to scan his pulse. Once the billionaire had his bearings, he shot a glance at his assistant. “Well, are you going to just stand there or offer help?” he asked sharply.
Peri immediately got out of whatever mental space he was in and stood straight, replying, “Yes, sir… Um… What can I do?-”
“Dammit, I pay you to do your job. Why do I need to tell you what to do?! It’s bad enough I need to deal with one human- if the focus group didn’t tell me that I needed an assistant to “save face,” you’d be an Au-Pair.”
“Right…” Peri weakly chuckled, adjusting his collar. He pondered for a moment, an idea coming to mind- hopefully one that could please Mr. Dimmadome. “Should I find an actual lawyer, sir? You know… a human that can’t overheat or malfunction…?”
“... Yes,” Dale responded to Peri’s inquiry with narrowed eyes. He took a deep breath to add, “Yes, that’s perfect. Go find me the best- and I mean the BEST lawyer you can get.” Mr. Dimmadome hummed, tapping his chin with his fingers, thinking of how to go about this situation. “Make your search discreet, I don’t need the public knowing anything about this lawsuit that’s cooking… I need someone who the shareholders are going to appreciate, someone who knows how to negotiate, and someone who has a reputation that precedes themselves… Go under the guise of ‘A Rich Man Looking for Legal Counsel,’ or whatever. This needed to have happened yesterday, so get to work!”
Peri nodded, taking notes on a notepad. “You got it, boss.”
“Ah, before…” Dale added, picking up his notebook and pen, writing down some figures to sweeten the deal, “Once you find a potential suitor for these endeavors, use this to really reel them in.” He winked at Peri and patted his back before heading back to his desk. “Alrighty, one less headache out of the way…” The redhead went back to working diligently as if his temper tantrum hadn’t occurred.
Peri retreated to the emergency stairwell, one of the few places Au-Pairs rarely patrolled, and pulled out his wand. A flash of magic, and it became a purple enchanted smartphone. “Best lawyer,” he typed.
The first result caught his eye: Anderson Law Intl. The site demanded a password. Peri snorted, waved his wand, and bypassed it without hesitation.
A biography soon appeared, detailing the career of one, Evelyn Anderson, sharp, ruthless, and feared in courtrooms across the globe.
“Looks promising,” Peri muttered. He set a meeting.
When this meeting day finally arrived, Peri found himself sitting in a relatively nice restaurant: the carpet was velvet, the walls were leather, and the lighting was dim. Before this lunch meeting, Peri was in contact with one of Evelyn’s assistants, who responded to his email within 24 hours of having sent it. He sat at a small table in the corner, ready to interview whoever was supposed to represent ‘Evelyn Anderson,’ so that Dale could finally get off his case about finding someone to represent him in court.
“Are you… ‘Peri? ’ a young man asked.
Peri chuckled and turned around, offering his handshake to the gentleman, “Why yes. The name's…”