Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Congratulations on becoming an official member of the Armed Detective Agency, Dazai,” Fukuzawa told him with a warm smile.

Dazai was wary of the man, still needing some time to figure out his personality, but he replied with a smile of his own, “Thank you, sir.”

Fukuzawa nodded. “I have some things to get to, but Kunikida will show you your desk.”

Kunikida was already sighing dramatically from behind him. Dazai could hear him muttering, “Why does it have to be me?”

Dazai was kind of delighted it was him. From all the members of the agency he had met so far, he had the best reactions.

“Here it is,” Kunikida pointed to a desk. “It’s next to mine.” The man didn’t sound excited about that.

“That’s wonderful, Kunikida! We can chat all we want during work.”

“There will be no chatting because we will be working,” Kunikida warned. It didn’t deter Dazai’s enthusiasm at all. “We have one more member you haven’t met. He should be arriving here anytime now.”

“Oh?” Dazai’s eyes moved to the door. 

He knew who he was, of course; the member of the agency that Mori had once tried to recruit in the Port Mafia. Dazai had refused to help him after meeting him, not thinking that the boy had the potential to abandon his life in the light to be part of their organization. Mori had given up on it too once it became clear that trying to recruit him would bring more harm than good considering whose protection he was under. 

Murase Chuuya was Dazai’s biggest risk in joining the Armed Detective Agency, so the fact that he went through the entrance exam before meeting him had been a happy coincidence. He doubted that the boy remembered him enough to recognize him, but he still had to consider the possibility.

Dazai was leaning against his desk, eyes still on the door, when it opened.

The man that walked in was surely the boy he had met five years prior, but…

Had he been that otherworldly beautiful back then too? Dazai's brain short circuited. He could remember he had found him cute, and he had spent quite a few nights after their meeting thinking intensely about him, though as years passed, Dazai had gradually forgotten the details of his face.

Chuuya’s face was sharper than it had been at fifteen, and although he had barely grown any taller, the atmosphere of the room seemed to shift when he entered it, like he was a magnet whose magnetic field had taken over the room. Dazai couldn’t help but be pulled towards him.

“This is the new guy?” Chuuya addressed Kunikida, as Dazai moved a few steps closer to him. His voice was lower and his hair was a darker shade. The curious glint in his eyes was the same as that time in the arcade.

"Does the agency employ school kids?" The words that spilled out of Dazai’s mouth were reminiscent of that day too.

"What the hell man? I'm twenty!" Even Chuuya’s offended reply sounded way too similar. “The hell are you smiling about?” He continued, standing with his hands on his hips.

Dazai hadn’t meant to smile in the first place, but Chuuya pointing it out made him smile even wider.

"Oi." Chuuya took a few threatening steps forward. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing here, newbie, but very soon you’re gonna learn” —he touched Dazai’s arm, clearly expecting something to happen— “What the hell?”

“He has a nullifying ability,” Ranpo explained from where he had been watching them on his desk.

"Huh," Chuuya said, dropping his arm and taking a step back. "Interesting." He sounded like he meant it. His eyes momentarily moved back to Dazai's face before he scanned him up and down with his eyes. "I could take you without my skill too." 

Dazai had a lot of thoughts about the different ways he would allow Chuuya to take him but even he wasn't shameless enough to tell him that in front of all his new coworkers. Perhaps they could redo this conversation in a more private setting.

"Chuuya, be nicer to our new member," Fukuzawa’s commanding voice came from behind them. Although everyone stepped back in respect, Chuuya and Ranpo had identical childishly disappointed expressions on their faces. 

“Ugh, Boss, things were just getting interesting,” Ranpo complained.

Fukuzawa didn't spare him a reply. He turned to look at Chuuya, raising an eyebrow.

"I'll be nice to him if he's nice to me,” Chuuya replied halfheartedly. 

The president sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. “Mura texted me that you would be coming in today. Didn’t I tell you to take one more day off to rest after your exams?”

“You know I get bored sitting around.”

Dazai watched the interaction with growing fascination. Was Chuuya pouting? Why did he seem so comfortable around the president? 

“Then maybe you can accompany Dazai on his first mission as an official member of the agency.”

Chuuya grimaced. “Why am I on babysitting duty?”

Perhaps it would be counterproductive to his plan of staying discreet while he found his footing in the agency, yet Dazai couldn’t help getting excited about the prospect of getting to spend time alone with Chuuya so quickly. He wanted to find out all the ways the boy he had met five years prior had changed and everything that had remained the same about him.

Dazai walked with a skip in his step next to Chuuya while the other man recited safety rules for the mission. In a way, his speech sounded similar to the one Kunikida had given him, though Chuuya seemed far less passionate about it. Dazai was hardly paying attention to his actual words either way (something about not rushing into action without consulting Chuuya first), too busy staring at him instead. 

Chuuya had more freckles on his face, like he had been spending more time in the sun in recent years. There was a mole just under his lower lip that hadn’t been there before. His hair was long enough to be tied in a low ponytail and it looked softer, more well taken care of. Furthermore, although his stature was small, Dazai could tell he would find strong muscles under his suit —which he was not thinking about.

“Oi, have you listened to a single word I’ve said?”

“Every single one,” Dazai said with a smile. 

Chuuya raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing him. “What’s the last thing I said then?”

“That you are so happy to get the opportunity to work with me.”

Chuuya looked like he wanted to punch him for a moment there, though in the end he just sighed loudly and picked up speed, leaving Dazai behind. Dazai didn’t rush to catch up. He walked leisurely several steps behind and took a look at the familiar buildings surrounding them. Perhaps it would be wiser for him to keep his distance from the other man. He was aware that he wouldn’t be able to keep his past life a secret from the agency forever, but he would rather his past job didn’t get found out while their trust in him was still so fragile.

“Hurry the fuck up, Dazai, I’m not waiting for you,” Chuuya yelled. He didn’t turn to look back at him, yet he slowed down his pace enough for Dazai to easily catch up with him. Dazai hadn’t even realized that he had been trying to do that until he was already walking next to him, Chuuya’s shoulder almost brushing against his arm.

“Okay, we should find the lady’s shop just around the corner,” Chuuya said as he looked down on the map on his phone. “If you don’t have anything useful to say, just keep your mouth shut.”

“Awh Chuuya, Kunikida was much nicer to me during our case,” Dazai whined. 

“I highly doubt that.”

When they turned around the corner, they came face to face with the bakery they had been called to. Chuuya stopped just outside of it, staring inside through the glass window with an unsettled expression on his face. Before Dazai could ask him what was wrong, the other man entered the shop. This time Dazai followed closely behind him.

“Good morning, ma’am. We are responding to your call at the Armed Detective Agency. I’m Chuuya and this is my partner, Dazai.”

Dazai had been looking around the shop but his head snapped back to Chuuya at the word partner. Chuuya most likely hadn’t thought much of it before saying it, they were simply working together on this case, yet Dazai’s excitement at having him as his partner knew no logical bounds.

“How do I know you’re the real deal and not some imposters?” The lady, who Dazai remembered was called Maeda, asked, way too rudely considering that she had specifically requested for someone from the agency to be sent to her shop to report the issue instead of going to their office.

“If you would like, you can call our office and speak with Mr. Fukuzawa to confirm our identities,” Chuuya responded with a polite smile on his face. 

“You could still be lying about who you are,” Maeda insisted. “Why would your President send two brats instead of coming himself?”

Dazai could see the veins on Chuuya’s face starting to pop out.

“Ma’am, our President is taking care of a different matter at the office, he told you he would send someone else. If you only wish to talk with him we can escort you to the agency.”

Somehow Chuuya’s —quite logical— words seemed to enrage their client. “ Escort me ? You think I’m stupid enough to follow you brats anywhere? I know you’re waiting for the opportunity to rob me! Get out of my shop before I call the police!”

Chuuya seemed to freeze at her words. Dazai wasn’t sure what was going on, but he felt the need to step forward to help his partner.

“Mrs. Maeda, there’s no need for that. With one phone call to the President we can resolve this issue, or if you insist on that not being enough of a confirmation of our identity, you can come to the Armed Detective Agency yourself at a later time.”

Dazai’s words were apparently wrong too.

“So your agency can’t even help a poor old woman?” She yelled. Dazai barely resisted the urge to remind her that supposedly she didn’t believe they were members of the agency. “You want me to go all the way to your office? Who’s going to watch my shop while I’m gone? Or is that what you want? For me to leave so you can steal everything without having to worry about me?!”

Dazai took a step forward, words that probably weren’t that polite ready to slip out of his mouth, but before he had the chance to say anything Chuuya was grabbing his wrist and pulling him back and towards the door. 

“Ma’am, since you’re refusing our help, we are going to leave. You’re free to visit the agency and discuss the matter with Mr. Fukuzawa, if you would like.” Chuuya’s voice was steady, even as Maeda kept throwing insults at them. Dazai wanted to say at least a passive aggressive goodbye, but Chuuya dragged him behind him with a tight grip on his wrist, and Dazai found himself getting distracted. They were around the corner before he got his ability to speak back.

“What a bitch,” he said way too loudly for the quiet street they were in, earning a few stares from passersby.

Chuuya snorted and loosened his grip on his wrist but didn’t let go, like he was afraid Dazai would run back to the bakery and repeat those words to Maeda’s face. (Which was honestly a valid guess.)

“Tell me about it,” he said. “I’ll explain things to Fukuzawa so don’t worry about it, let’s just get back to the agency.” 

With his free hand Chuuya got his phone out of his pocket. Only when he was about to start typing did he seem to remember where his other hand was. Dazai would never admit it outloud, but his wrist instantly felt cold the moment Chuuya took his hand away. 

“Okay that’s settled,” Chuuya said from next to him. 

“We won’t get in trouble for not completing the job?” Dazai had to ask.

Chuuya frowned at him and shook his head. “Nah, she refused our help so we couldn’t do anything about it. If Fukuzawa deems this important enough he will go there himself, or send someone from the police.”

Dazai couldn’t say he wasn’t still a little worried about it but he nodded, deciding to go back to trying to figure out how far he could go with his teasing before he got Chuuya to explode at him again.

“What a pity, I was looking forward to working with you, Chuuya.”

“You’ll get another chance,” Chuuya replied absentmindedly, typing on his phone again. They were at the entrance of the subway station when it started ringing. Chuuya sighed and turned to Dazai. “You can go wait for me downstairs, I have to take this one.” He turned to walk a few feet away without checking if Dazai followed his instruction. Of course, Dazai didn’t move.

“Hey dad,” he heard him say. “I told you I’m fine. I barely talked with her.” There was a long pause before he continued. “Yeah, I know. I didn’t recognize the address and I’m sure Fukuzawa didn’t either, don’t blame this on him.” That certainly caught Dazai’s attention. 

“I’m with Dazai. Yeah, the new guy. No, I’m not going back there, I told you we’re on the way back to the agency.” There was another long pause. “Dad, come on, you don’t need to— dad— ugh whatever, at least don’t be mad at Fukuzawa.”

When Chuuya turned around he seemed surprised to find Dazai still standing there. “Let’s hurry back before my dad gets to the agency,” he said after a moment.

“Afraid of your daddy?” Dazai asked with a smirk as he followed him down the stairs.

“More like afraid for the President’s life,” Chuuya responded with a chuckle.

“They don’t get along?” 

“Oh they do. ”The emphasis on the last word made it sound like there was a long story there. Chuuya just shook his head before he added, “My dad is just on the protective side.”

Dazai had a lot he wanted to ask, both about how Chuuya knew Maeda and about what the connection between his boss and Chuuya’s father was, but the other man didn’t seem willing to talk about either of those subjects so Dazai chose to spend their journey back to the agency starting a good old pointless argument. 

“No, you’re just wrong. I can’t accept it,” Chuuya scoffed. He paused outside the Armed Detective Agency’s building to look at the cars parked outside. Once he found —or didn’t find— what he was looking for, his shoulders relaxed.

“Or maybe Chuuya should broaden his horizon and watch more genres of film,” Dazai insisted, even though he didn’t feel particularly passionate about the topic.

“No, you should just get better taste.” Chuuya pushed the door of the building open but headed for the cafe on the ground floor instead of the staircase. “Let’s get some coffee and cookies for everyone first.”

“My taste is amazing.” 

Dazai listened as Chuuya expertly recited a coffee order, only pausing to let Dazai order his own. 

“Thank you, that’s all,” he said to the store manager and turned around to lean against the bar with his eyes on the door. Without looking at Dazai, he continued their conversation. “You’re supposed to watch movies to have fun. How is necrorealism any fun?

“If you watch it with an open mind it is fun.”

“It’s not.”

“It is.”

“It’s not.”

“It is.”

“it’s not. ”

“It is. ”

“You just don’t know what fun is.”

“I know what fun is. You don’t know what fun is.”

“I know what fun—”

“Children, your order is ready,” the store manager of cafe Uzumaki interrupted them with a laugh.

Chuuya looked a bit sheepish as he turned around to pay. “Sorry.”

The man only laughed more and opened the box of cookies to add two more. “It’s quite alright. Eat more to keep having this energy.” 

Gravity manipulation seemed to be quite convenient when you had to carry several cups of coffee up several floors. Dazai only carried the box of cookies while Chuuya balanced everything else on his hands.

“I’ll make you watch a movie with me and you’ll get it,” Dazai continued their argument. 

“I’m never gonna watch a movie with you.”

“Brave words, Chuuya. We’ll see about that.”

Chuuya somehow managed to move all the cups to one hand and opened the door with his then free one. “Hey, we brought back coffee and cookies,” he greeted the room. 

“Ohh cookies!” Ranpo waved them over. 

The moment Dazai was close enough to his desk, he grabbed the box out of his hands. He then turned to Chuuya with an amused smile. “You better go rescue Fukuzawa from your dad.”

“What? He’s here?” Chuuya looked around the room in alarm. “I didn’t see his car.” 

“He probably ran here.” The words came out muffled as Ranpo ate one of the white chocolate cookies.

Chuuya abandoned all the coffee cups on Ranpo’s desk and made a beeline for Fukuzawa’s office. Dazai discreetly followed behind him, not wanting to miss on the drama.

The door opened on Chuuya’s first knock. The man who Dazai could only assume was Chuuya’s adoptive father immediately put both of his hands on Chuuya’s shoulders and looked him over.

“I told you I’m fine, ” Chuuya almost whined. He let his dad inspect him for a few more seconds before shaking him off. “She didn’t even remember me.”

“Oh I’m gonna go by her shop and remind her.”

“Dad.”

“I should have arrested her back then.”

“Too late for that now. Can we deal with the current case instead?”

“Yukichi and I are going to deal with it. You can deal with something else.” The man crossed his arms over his chest, ready for Chuuya to fight him back on it.

Chuuya, though, turned to look at Fukuzawa. “Did he yell at you?”

Dazai could not imagine someone yelling at their President. He looked between the three of them, at the familiarity they were emitting despite the tension of the moment, and wished he knew more about what was going on.

“It’s fine, Chuuya. Do not worry about it. Your dad and I will take care of this. I have something else for you and Dazai.” Fukuzawa’s eyes found Dazai’s over Chuuya’s shoulders. Chuuya turned back to look at him too, a slight blush on his cheeks.

“Oi Dazai, why are you eavesdropping again?”

“The door’s open,” Dazai replied as an explanation. If they had wanted a private conversation, Chuuya could have actually stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

Chuuya looked like he had a lot to say about that, but his dad spoke before he could. “Oh, is this your new partner?”

“Yes! I’m Dazai Osamu,” he rushed ahead to introduce himself, at the same time Chuuya was saying, “He’s not my partner.”

“Murase Shuukou,” Chuuya’s dad stepped forward to shake his hand. “Please take care of my son.”

“ He is the new member, how is he gonna take care of me?”

Chuuya and his dad didn’t look alike, but as Dazai watched the look Murase gave Chuuya for that comment and Chuuya’s responding glare back, he knew he would have assumed that they were father and son even if he hadn’t known about it.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Murase,” Dazai said, breaking their staring contest. “I’m gonna take really good care of Chuuya.”

“You’re not gonna be the one taking care of anyone,” Chuuya immediately argued.

“Oh so Chuuya wants to be the one who takes care of me, then?”

“That’s not what I—” Chuuya’s cheeks were almost as red as his hair. He turned to look at Murase who had a grin even wider than Dazai’s on his face. “Dad, stop talking to him.”

“Okay, okay,” Murase chuckled. “You two go back to work while I finish my conversation with your boss.

“You heard that, Dazai. Go to your desk,” Chuuya ordered.

“Yes, senpai.”

Dazai barely managed to dodge Chuuya’s kick.

***

Chuuya made it three days at work with Dazai before he found himself knocking on the door of Yosano’s clinic to ask her opinion.

“What’s up with that weirdo?” He went into it immediately as he closed the door behind him.

“Which one?” She asked, not taking her eyes away from the papers she was reading. 

“Dazai.”

The name made her glance up at him. A smile that Chuuya had started getting a bit too familiar with being directed at him lately appeared on her face. “What did he do?”

“He keeps staring at me,” Chuuya started explaining. “Fukuzawa gave him the desk across from mine and, I swear, whenever I look up he’s just sitting there staring at me. Do you think he has a staring problem or something? Or does he want to fight me?”

“I don't think that's the f word he wants to do with you.”

“Huh? What are you even talking about?” Chuuya furrowed his eyebrows. F word? What f word could Yosano possibly—

“Akiko!” He yelled once he got it, making her burst into laughter. “That's definitely not— that is one hundred percent not what's happening here!”

“Okay, okay. Whatever you say, little Chuuya.”

Chuuya was not going to believe that. 

It was clear that Dazai’s highest form of entertainment was pissing people off, there was nothing more to it. Chuuya wasn’t even his only victim; poor Kunikida also suffered the same fate. Whenever Dazai wasn’t harassing Chuuya, he was busy getting on Kunikida’s nerves. For some reason, that fact enraged Chuuya even more. He couldn’t tell you why if you asked him, but whenever he saw Dazai running around Kunikida to bother him he wanted to start screaming at him. Perhaps it was because he was ruining the previous peace of their office.

On week five of working with Dazai, they were partnered up yet again for a case. Chuuya had been sighing and complaining about it since he had learned about their collaboration the previous afternoon, yet he couldn’t hide from himself that he was a little excited about it. Working with Dazai could be frustrating and taxing, but they also undeniably made a great team. 

Over the years Chuuya had worked with all the members of the agency, some he enjoyed more than others. Working with Ranpo was always efficient; the man would figure out what was going on right away and Chuuya would deal with it after. It was fast and easy, but Chuuya always ended up feeling like he was only the brawn of their team. Working with Kunukida on the other hand was, honestly… kind of boring. Kunikida wanted to do everything by the book, and Chuuya was far more comfortable with breaking rules. Although he wouldn’t do anything outright illegal, there were situations where he believed… improvisations could be made.

Maybe that was why he was enjoying working with Dazai. The man was undeniably smart, and there were things he figured out before Chuuya could put all the pieces together, but Chuuya was never that far behind. More often than not, they were on the same page. It was thrilling to figure out something and then look at Dazai next to him and see the same realization reflected on his face. Chuuya’s skill was certainly better suited for physical fights, but the addition of Dazai’s nullification ability opened up so many more possibilities on how he could use his gravity. With Dazai there, he felt more free to use his skill and not hold back, knowing that someone had his back.

And of course, there was also the fact that Dazai… didn’t mind if they weren’t necessarily following all the rules. Again, they weren’t doing anything illegal, but if Chuuya suggested a plan that was slightly questionable in its legality, Dazai would nod and go along with it without bringing up all the reasons why the plan was too dangerous and not worth the risk. Honestly, perhaps it was also refreshing to work with someone who felt like his equal and didn’t think of Chuuya like a younger kid that needed supervising. 

But, back to his very first point, working with Dazai was frustrating.

“How many times do I need to tell you not to run off by yourself?” He asked him with a deep sigh.

“Perhaps Chuuya should be faster,” Dazai replied with a grin.

“Oh, I’ll show you faster.”

Were Dazai and Chuuya fooling around instead of rushing to their next destination? Possibly. Yet as Chuuya easily caught up with Dazai —who was only pretending to be putting up a fight— and jumped on his back to put him in a light chokehold while Dazai very loudly complained that he was being attacked by a wild chihuahua, Chuuya felt like he was fifteen again, back when he had yet to realize how much weight he was carrying on his shoulders.

Strangely, his mind went back to that day in the arcade when he had met the first boy he had ever liked. In a lot of ways, the elation he was masking as exasperation reminded him of that feeling. Which— it couldn’t be, right? Sure, everyone with eyes could see that Dazai was handsome, and he had some kind of weird charm about him, but he was also… Dazai. Chuuya couldn’t have a crush on him; that would be way too embarrassing. 

“Wanna grab dinner after we’re done with this?” Dazai asked from next to him.

“We’re not even there yet, how do you know we’ll be done soon enough to go for dinner?”

“Oh come on,” Dazai grinned. “There’s nothing that the two of us can’t deal with.”

Chuuya’s heart —humiliatingly— skipped a beat. He could only stare at him for a moment before mumbling, “Whatever.”

Perhaps… Perhaps, just maybe … he possibly had a crush on his annoying coworker. 

There was no reason to even think about it, though. Dazai found his company entertaining because Chuuya couldn't help but react to his antics. He probably acted the same way with Kunikida when the two of them worked together on a case. Nothing was ever going to come out of this crush; Chuuya could just ignore it until it naturally went away.

Ignoring it was easier said than done.

It had been more than five months since Dazai had joined the Armed Detective Agency. The two of them had gotten closer, perhaps one could even call them friends. Dazai was around his house often enough that Chuuya’s dad looked behind Chuuya in confusion whenever Chuuya returned home after work alone. Dazai always used the excuse that the agency’s dormitory was way too cold during the winter, so if Chuuya was a nice person he should let him hang out in his warm house. Chuuya told him to get out and leave him alone almost every time, but he never meant it. Dazai seemed to know that too.

They were lying on the heated floor of Chuuya’s bedroom, idly talking about the movie they had just finished watching, when Dazai scooched closer to him, their knees almost knocking against each other’s.

“Let’s go out tomorrow night.” His voice almost came out as a whisper, even though no one other than Chuuya’s dog was there to hear them.

“Out where?” Chuuya questioned in the same tone, unsure where this conversation was heading. 

“To get dinner. My treat.”

“ Your treat?” Chuuya had to ask. “I was starting to think Fukuzawa doesn’t pay you.”

“Oh come, Chuuya,” Dazai smiled, but it wasn’t one of his mocking smiles. “I want to take you out.”

“O-okay,” Chuuya agreed. He was confused about why Dazai was making such a big deal out of this. They went out for dinner together all the time, but they never really planned it. Although Chuuya had friends from his university he hung out with, there wasn’t anyone he went out with more than Dazai. “I’ll pick you up from the dormitory with my bike so dress warmly.”

“Yes sir.” Dazai attempted a salute, but he lost his balance from where he had been lying on his side propped up on one elbow, falling forward. Chuuya put one hand on his chest to steady him. The position brought them even closer to each other. His hand stayed there, waiting for Dazai to reposition himself, yet Dazai just smiled that strange smile of his again while looking down at him. Chuuya’s hand lingered for just a few more seconds before he had to take it away, suddenly afraid that Dazai would be able to feel his accelerated heartbeat through it if he didn’t.

Why was Dazai looking at him like that? Why was his gaze almost soft? Why wasn't he making another joke to break the tension? Why was there even tension between them when they were just lying close to each other? 

Chuuya urged himself to stop thinking about it and relax.

Chuuya could neither stop thinking about it nor relax.

The next morning, after an endless night of rolling around his bed not able to fall asleep, he texted the group chat he shared with Ranpo and Yosano to meet him at cafe Uzumaki as fast as they could.

"Why did you call an emergency meeting?" Yosano asked as soon as they were sitting down with two cups of coffee and one hot chocolate in front of them.

“I need your opinion about something.”

"The answer is yes," Ranpo didn't waste a second to say. 

“Shhh, let me talk first. You’ll affect Akiko’s judgment.

"Boy, just tell us what you want our opinion on." Yosano rolled her eyes and took a big sip of her coffee.

Chuuya had to gather his nerves in order to mutter these words. "Well, I want your opinion on if you think a guy is flirting with me or not." 

Before he could elaborate, Yosano asked, "Is this about Dazai?" 

"Yeah? How did you—" 

"The answer is yes, then." Yosano and Ranpo shared a thrilled look, much to Chuuya's annoyance. 

"Wait a moment, you haven't even heard my arguments!" 

“We don’t need any arguments. Every time you two are in the same room I get the urge to start mopping the floor in front of Dazai with the way he’s drooling while looking at you,” Ranpo said rather bluntly.

“Yeah,” Yosano nodded her head in agreement. “It’s quite disturbing to be honest. You’re still a baby in my heart so I really don’t want to witness a grown man looking at you like that first thing in the morning. It was only entertaining for about a week.”

"I'm also a grown man!" He felt the need to correct.

"Debatable," Ranpo commented, earning a glare from Chuuya. 

He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Well, either way, even if he finds me hot or something, it doesn’t necessarily mean he likes me likes me. Maybe he just wants to fuck me.”

“I really don’t want to think about that.” Yosano grimaced. “And I don’t think it’s just that anyway. He’s far too obsessed with you for this to be just physical attraction." 

Before Chuuya could argue about that, Ranpo chimed in, “Don’t even try to convince us he’s not obsessed with you. We have to see him everyday running after you like a puppy trying to get your attention.

“Right, it’s embarrassing for him,” Yosano agreed. “Not that you’re any better—”

“What?! I’m not obsessed with that shitty Dazai!” Chuuya almost knocked his forgotten coffee cup in his haste to defend himself. “I was just wondering if it was just my idea or if he really was flirting with me!”

“Ugh, it’s far too early to be dealing with this,” Yosano sighed. “But listen. Much to my disturbance, as you said, you’re both grown men. So do what to grown men who like each other do and—”

"Wait, wait, wait— When did I confirm that I like him? You’re just putting words in my mouth!”

“Oh I bet you’d like something else in your mouth,” Ranpo said over his cup of hot chocolate.

Somehow Yosano sighed even deeper than before while Chuuya just stared at him incredulously. 

Ranpo regarded both of them with an amused smile before he turned back to Chuuya. “Come on, little Chuuya. Just admit you like him so we can get this over with, I have work to get started on.” They both knew Ranpo wasn’t planning to start any work anytime soon, but neither of them commented on it.

Chuuya, very maturely, covered his face with both hands and collapsed on the table with a dramatic groan. “Okay, maybe I like him a little, ” he admitted. “But I don’t know what to do. I’m still not convinced he likes me like that too.”

“Well you could always ask him and find out,” Yosano suggested. Chuuya only raised his head for a second to grimace at her. “Or you can just see how things go for a while. Flirt with him too to taste out the waters.”

“He asked me out for dinner tonight.”

“Asked you out?” Both Yosano and Ranpo asked at the same time.

“Not-not like that,” Chuuya rushed to reply, moving back to sit on the booth properly. Seeing the dubious look on their faces he added, “I think so, at least.” He took a sip of his coffee just for something to do, frowning when he found it was already cold.

"Or you can find yourself a man who's not broke," Ranpo said, unhelpfully. 

Chuuya rolled his eyes. "I don't care about stuff like that."

“You don’t care now that you’re twenty. When I find my rich man in a few years, I wanna see you being jealous of me being spoiled while you’re living in the agency’s dormitory with a man who uses 3 in 1 shampoo."

“I feel like we’re getting off topic,” Yosano interrupted their argument before it could begin. “Let’s talk about your plan for tonight.”

No amount of planning could have prepared Chuuya for that night.

Ten minutes after he had texted Dazai that he was outside waiting for him, the man finally decided to show up. His usual suit was missing; instead, Dazai was wearing a white button up shirt with golden details tucked into a pair of black high waisted pants. His black shoes were shinier than Chuuya had ever seen them and the gray coat draped over his back looked new. His hair looked fluffier than usual, and when he came closer, Chuuya could smell his cologne. It was getting hard to deny what the signs were pointing to…

“What took you so long?” He hoped it was dark enough outside that Dazai wouldn’t notice his eyes running up and down his figure.

“Beauty takes time, Chuuya,” Dazai smirked. “But you have a whole night ahead of you to admire me.”

“Who’s admiring you?” Chuuya snorted. And then he rushed to put his helmet back on so Dazai wouldn’t see the blush spreading over his face. “Put your damn coat on properly or you’ll freeze to death.”

Dazai did as he was told with a little laugh and then accepted the helmet Chuuya passed him over. He climbed on the motorbike behind Chuuya and wrapped his arms tightly around him. “Let’s go, my little pony.”

“Say that again and I’ll throw you off in the freeway.”

They had been in that position many times before. Chuuya had bought the motorbike the moment he became of age with the money he had saved from working at the agency, and he didn’t have his own car, so unless he took his dad’s, he drove his bike everywhere. Dazai on the other hand… Chuuya wasn’t even sure he had a license to drive anything. He seemed happy to be driven around, so Chuuya had him on the back of his bike often enough.

But there was something about this time that felt special. Dazai’s arms were tighter wrapped around him, and his head leaning on Chuuya’s shoulder felt more purposeful. Even with the strong wind of the night, Chuuya couldn’t miss Dazai’s cologne. Why would Dazai dress up and wear fucking cologne if this wasn’t meant to be a date?

Chuuya was miserably failing at keeping his hopes down. They had to be going on a date.

The place Dazai had picked for them to go wasn’t particularly fancier from other restaurants they had gone to before, but instead of sitting at the first available table they saw, Dazai led him towards the corner of the room, at a table almost hidden from view from the rest. Chuuya couldn’t help but find the spot romantic.

“This is a nice place,” he said, looking around. When Dazai had first brought up buying him dinner, Chuuya had imagined they would end up eating from a street vendor.

“It has great reviews,” Dazai commented, picking up one of the menus. 

Chuuya raised an eyebrow at that. Since when was Dazai reading reviews before he went anywhere? Dazai was too busy reading the menu to see his silent question, so Chuuya tried to turn his eyes to his own menu too. Yet no matter how much he tried, he kept glancing up at the man sitting across from him. Was Dazai acting kind of weird, or was Chuuya overthinking it? They had never sat in silence reading menus before. Dazai barely even gave them a glance, just ordering the first thing he saw. He usually chose to invest his time in finding a reason to argue with Chuuya. 

Chuuya lightly kicked his shin under the table. “Oi, you good?” He had to check in.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Dazai replied with a smile. It was a weird one, and not the good kind of weird he had been sporting lately. It almost looked strained.

Chuuya wanted to ask more, but then he spotted a waitress making her way to their table and decided to keep his questions for later.

“Hello, have you decided what you want to order or do I need to give you a minute?” she asked.

Dazai looked at her and then back to his menu, and then he looked at Chuuya, his stare vacant. Chuuya couldn’t tell where his mind had gone. He opened his mouth to tell the waitress to give them a minute, but Dazai spoke before he could, his tone a distant memory of his usual flirtatious tone,  “That depends. Are you on the menu, beautiful lady?”

…

There was silence for a moment. Chuuya couldn’t really understand what he was feeling until he caught the look of pity the waitress threw at him before laughing awkwardly. Dazai was talking again, yet Chuuya couldn't focus on if he was continuing his attempt at flirting with the waitress or if he was actually ordering. Before he could make the poor waitress’ night ten times more awkward by starting to cry right then and there, Chuuya stood up, grabbed his jacket and made a beeline for the door. Dazai could get himself a taxi for all he cared. 

If Dazai had bothered to follow him and call after him, the sounds got covered by the engine of Chuuya’s motorbike starting. He was almost back at his house before he realized what had happened. He turned his bike around, heading towards the direction of Yosano’s apartment instead.

“Hey,” Yosano greeted him the moment she opened the door. She let him in without any questions, the distress on Chuuya’s face probably being a great indicator that his ‘date’ hadn’t gone well. 

Chuuya threw himself on her couch, only relaxing slightly when Yosano’s cat, Aiko, climbed on his lap for cuddles.

“I’m assuming something went wrong with your date?” She asked eventually. 

Chuuya laughed bitterly. “It wasn’t a date.”

“What do you mean?” Yosano sounded confused.

“I mean Dazai flirted with the waitress right in front of me.”

“What? What the hell?”

Chuuya stared down at Aiko who had started happily purring at the attention she was receiving. “This was probably some weird prank of his.” 

It hadn’t felt like one. Not when Dazai had dressed up and teased him outside the dormitory and not when he had worn fucking cologne and had wrapped his arms tightly around him on the motorbike. But what else could it have been? Although Dazai could be insensitive at times, Chuuya hadn’t thought he was cruel. This had to have been some kind of prank that went wrong because Chuuya was stupid enough to have fallen for him.

“Are you sure there wasn’t a misunderstanding?” Yosano sounded unsure of her own words.

“I don’t think there’s anything to misunderstand when someone takes you out to a restaurant acting like it’s a date and then immediately flirts with the waitress before you even order anything.”

“Did you leave him there?”

“Yeah.” 

He wasn’t going to feel bad about it. He wasn’t. Dazai probably told the waitress that his friend suffered from explosive diarrhea and had to run home so she should finish her shift early and join him for a meal instead. 

“Okay,” Yosano said. “That’s fine. Since he did that, he deserves it. But are you sure it wasn’t some kind of… I don’t know, panic reaction?”

“Why are you trying to find excuses for him? Whose side are you on?” Chuuya questioned a bit too angrily, startling both Yosano and Aiko.

“Yours, obviously,” Yosano reassured him softly. “I just want to make sure you’re not going through a heartbreak for no reason.”

“It’s not a heartbreak.” His words were an obvious lie, as they were followed by tears starting to fall down his face, though Yosano didn’t call him out on it. She scooched closer and wrapped him in a warm hug, careful not to squeeze her cat between them.

“If we tell your dad he’s gonna get Fukuzawa to fire him in two minutes, don’t worry,” she said into his ear, making him laugh, and then cry again.

“I don’t want him to get fired.”

“Can you handle working with him?”

“I don't know.”

“Well, tomorrow is Sunday, you won't have to face him just yet.”

“Hmm,” Chuuya murmured into her shoulder. He would have to face him sooner rather than later, though at least it didn’t have to be right away.

“I’ll call reinforcements in the morning.”

“Eh? Who?”

“Who else?”

“I heard this was an occasion where I should bring donuts,” Ranpo said the following morning as he let himself into Yosano’s apartment. 

“Powdered sugar donuts?” Chuuya asked, hopeful, from where he was curled up on the couch with Aiko.

“Yup. Time to admit I’m your favorite, little Chuuya.” Ranpo dangled the bag with the box of donuts in front of him, just out of reach. 

Chuuya rolled his eyes but he told him, “You’re my favorite.”

“I heard that!” Yosano yelled from the kitchen as Ranpo handed him the bag with a grin. Not even five seconds later she rushed into the room with three plates. “Don’t get powdered sugar all over my living room.”

“Thanks, Akiko. You’re my favorite,” Chuuya smiled cheekily at both of them as he put two donuts on his plate.

“Wow, give those back, traitor,” Ranpo yelled as he attempted —quite halfheartedly— to grab Chuuya’s plate. 

“Ranpo, I swear, if you drop them on my couch—” 

Chuuya smiled to himself as he watched two people he loved like a brother and sister keep arguing with each other, already feeling better. Who cared about stupid boys when he had his family?

“Okay, now, who’s going to tell me what Dazai did?” Ranpo asked eventually.

Instead of replying, Chuuya groaned loudly and buried his face in Aiko’s furr. Why did he have to care about stupid boys? Yosano, sensing his reluctance to talk about it again, took charge and explained to Ranpo the details of the previous night. Chuuya stayed curled up in half, avoiding eye contact, until she was done.

“Alright, I got the picture,” Ranpo said as Chuuya moved to sit properly. “Has he called or texted you since then?”

“He did, last night at least. But after I got here I sent a text to my dad that I’d stay at Akiko’s and didn’t look at my phone again.”

“I think you should go talk to him,” Ranpo said, decisively. 

Chuuya frowned. “Why? He made his intentions pretty clear last night. He’s probably just trying to do damage control because we work together.”

Ranpo hesitated for a moment before he said, “I wouldn’t normally get involved in this, but this is beyond ridiculous.”

“You’re calling me ridiculous?” Didn’t Chuuya have the right to be upset?

“Not you. Him. And the situation. Okay, and maybe a little you. It’s clear as day to everyone with working eyes and ears that you two are desperately in love with each other. I don’t think I can sit back any longer without yelling it at your face. Whatever insecurities Dazai is dealing with that are stopping him, I don’t care. This is ridiculous.”

“What—” Chuuya was left speechless for a moment. “He's not— I'm not—”

“You both are.” Ranpo shoved an entire donut into his mouth. Chuuya watched him chew it while he was trying to get his thoughts in order. 

“Alright, let's say he's in love with me. Why would he act like that then?”

“That's what you should be asking him, not me.” Ranpo made grabby hands at Yosano until she handed him a napkin to clean the sugar off his face.

“Even if he is, that doesn't mean I should just overlook his shitty behavior.”

No matter how much he liked him, Chuuya had enough self respect to know that. If Dazai didn’t have a good enough reason for his behavior, he wasn’t going to forgive him that easily.

“No, it doesn't,” Ranpo nodded. “But you can at least let him explain himself first and then make your decision. If you don't like his explanation then we can continue the pity party after.”

“We don't even know if he really wants to explain himself properly.” 

That was what he feared the most. What if Dazai cared so little about him that he wasn’t going to try to make it up to him? What if he had no idea how much he had hurt Chuuya’s feelings?

“Just look at your phone, little Chuuya.”

Chuuya looked at Yosano, silently asking her for help, but she just shook her head fondly and reached for Chuuya's phone on the coffee table, handing it to him.

“If he has shitty excuses I'll help your dad hide his body. But let's see what he has to say first, okay?”

“Ugh, I feel like you two should have been more on my side,” Chuuya whined, though he knew they were only trying to help.

“We're both on your side,” Yosano patted his knee. “That’s why we don't want you to be sad if you don't need to be.”

Chuuya made sure to glare at both of them, but he did unlock his phone to check his notifications. He found four missed calls from Dazai and several texts asking him to talk and telling him he would be in his room all day if he wanted to come over.

“He could have been more desperate,” Chuuya muttered to himself. 

Yosano looked at the screen over his shoulder before asking, “Did you want him to follow you here and not respect that you didn't want to talk to him?”

“Maybe I did,” Chuuya replied childishly. He didn't know if he actually wanted it. He would have most likely been beyond pissed and thrown him out if Dazai had dared to show up at Yosano’s house while he clearly wanted to avoid him, yet there was a part of him that wanted Dazai to really be desperate to make up for his mistake, if he actually cared about him. 

“I think it's a sign of maturity that he didn't bombard you with calls and texts,” Yosano continued. 

“Dazai is not mature,” Chuuya immediately argued. 

“Maybe he's scared,” Ranpo chimed in. 

“I’ve known him for months and I’ve never seen him be scared.”

Yosano nodded at Ranpo. “Sometimes feelings are far scarier than any ability we face at work.”

Chuuya made his way to the agency’s dormitory with low hopes that he was going to get the resolution he wanted. Maybe he was being dramatic, maybe he should have been trusting Dazai’s intentions more, but as it was, he was terrified that he was going to be the one who looked desperate and humiliate himself in front of the man he was in love with because he couldn’t get the hint that he was alone in his feelings. He stomped up the stairs and stopped in front of Dazai’s door, ready to knock. Just as his fist was about to make contact with the door though, he heard noise from inside the room. 

Chuuya had come all the way there to talk to him, to listen to whatever explanation he had. Yet the actual reminder that Dazai was there, behind that door, with all the power in the world to break Chuuya’s heart for good, made him turn around and flee before Dazai got the chance to do that.

He was halfway down the stairs when the door opened.

“Chuuya, wait!” Dazai yelled as he ran after him. 

Chuuya was faster than him, faster than most people in the world. He could easily outrun him and get on his motorbike quickly enough that Dazai wouldn’t even get the opportunity to say any more words. 

Yet, no matter how much every cell in Chuuya’s body was screaming at him to run and never look back, to save himself from the heartbreak, Dazai’s voice made him stop, just at the base of the stairs. Dazai almost ran into him, looking surprised too that Chuuya had stopped and turned around to face him.

For a few moments, they stood there in silence.

Then Dazai opened his mouth to talk, and Chuuya turned around to run again. 

This time Dazai rushed to grab his wrist, a desperate edge in his voice as he repeated, “Chuuya, wait!”

Chuuya shook his wrist out of Dazai’s grasp but turned to face him. He didn’t know what he was feeling, why he was so relieved that Dazai was insisting to talk to him even though he was still so angry at him.

“What the hell do you want?” 

Dazai had the decency not to point out that Chuuya had been the one to show up at his house. “Come upstairs to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.” 

Chuuya went to turn around, but Dazai’s hand grabbed his wrist again, more firmly. 

“Please, Chuuya. Even just for a few minutes.”

Chuuya freed his wrist again and crossed his arms in front of his chest, taking a step back. “You can say whatever you want here.”

He didn’t know what he was expecting. Probably for Dazai to give up on trying to convince him to listen to him, or maybe for him to spout out some lame excuse so Chuuya wouldn’t get him in trouble in the Armed Detective Agency.

“I really like you,” Dazai blurted out instead. His words seemed to surprise even himself.

“What?”

“I really like you, so I wanted to take you out on a date,” Dazai started explaining. “I’ve taken a lot of people out on dates before.”

“I really don’t need to hear that,” Chuuya replied, hope getting replaced by anger once more.

“No, I’m— I’m not saying that because— I’m saying, I’m trying to say that I’ve done that countless times yet I’ve never cared about it that much before. I didn’t care if I was making a good impression or if my date was getting bored. I just wanted to try to have a good time.”

“So you’re an asshole.” Chuuya wasn’t sure what Dazai was trying to say. The stuttering and the desperation in his voice were weird.

“Yeah, I am,” Dazai admitted. “I didn't care to try to be better.”

“And you still don’t, clearly.” The logical part of Chuuya’s brain was telling him to leave but his feet were refusing to obey. He stood there, listening to Dazai’s voice get more and more passionate.

“No, I do. I care now, that’s why I fucked it up.” 

“That makes zero sense.”

“I really like you, so I was scared to fuck it up.”

“I don’t know if you think you’re explaining anything right now, but you really aren’t.”

Dazai seemed frustrated with himself. Chuuya had never seen him struggle to explain something like that before. “I was scared that I would accidentally fuck it all up,” he continued.

Chuuya raised an eyebrow. “So you fucked it up on purpose?”

“Yes.”

“ Yes? ” 

Chuuya had met his share of emotionally constipated men in his life, but this was a new level even for him.

“Okay, I know it makes no sense—”

“At least you’re self aware.”

“—But Chuuya, I really like you. I’ve never felt like this about anyone else. And I know if this develops you’re gonna find out things about me that will make you run away so, I don’t know, in a moment of panic my gut reaction was to make you run away first before you got the chance to decide that for yourself.”

“You’re a real asshole.” Chuuya was trying not to get completely swayed by the admission of Dazai’s feelings. “You can’t try to force me to make this decision. It’s only for me to make. I care far more about how you’re treating me right now than whatever thing you’re so scared will drive me away.”

“You’re only saying that because you don’t know what it is,” Dazai insisted. Chuuya would have rolled his eyes at his dramatics if he wasn’t so frustrated

“Then tell me!” Chuuya yelled, not caring anymore if the other residents of the dormitory were going to hear them. “Fucking tell me so I can make my own decision!”

It was infuriating. He had thought that Dazai was the one person who could be his equal. No matter how great the intentions of the people in his life who tried to shield him from every danger was, Chuuya still found it a bit overbearing at times. He wanted someone, he wanted Dazai, to be the one person he was always standing on equal ground with.

He was prepared for more shitty excuses, more stupid reasons that didn’t make sense. Dazai’s words took him by surprise.

“We’ve met before.”

“Huh? When?” Chuuya stumbled back. Surely, he would remember meeting someone like him before.

“When we were fifteen. At the arcade.”

“At the arc—”

It all suddenly made sense. 

The boy Chuuya had spent only a few hours with that he had found so incredibly annoying but had ended up spending weeks obsessively thinking about afterwards, wishing he could meet him again. The boy that Chuuya credited as the first boy he ever had a crush on, the one who made him realize his sexuality. The boy who had seemed to disappear from the city afterwards, that Chuuya thought he would never see again. Of course, that boy was Dazai.  

Once he knew about it, he could see it. Dazai wasn’t as lanky as he had been at fifteen, he had put some weight on and his clothes fit him better. His hair was cut shorter and didn’t hide his face as much. Though he hadn't grown any less annoying, there was a charm about him that was harder to ignore. 

Chuuya could see it; that Dazai had once been that boy.

“You are…” There were so many thoughts running through his head. Relief, excitement, betrayal, anger, feelings he couldn’t even begin to understand. The words that made it out of his mouth though were, “You’re that beanpole.”

Dazai smiled at that, a little sadly. “I am.”

“Okay, so you kept that a secret from me. Why?” It was something that he could be mad at Dazai for hiding, but it wasn’t the end of the world. There had to be more to it.

“Because of my involvement in what happened two weeks later.”

“Two weeks later?” Chuuya wondered aloud, but it didn’t take long for him to connect the dots. Two weeks after he had met the boy at the arcade —Dazai— the Port Mafia had tracked him down. 

“You’re the one who found me.”

Dazai nodded. “Mr. Mori had been searching for you. He had suspicions that you were under Mr. Fukuzawa’s protection but he hadn’t had any solid proof until I gave him some.”

“So you were mafia,” Chuuya concluded. 

Kunikida had ranted to him a few times about Dazai’s shady past but he hadn’t paid him much mind, believing that Fukuzawa wouldn’t bring anyone dangerous into their agency. Certain behaviors that Dazai exhibited had made Chuuya think, too, that the man might have been some sort of delinquent in the past, but he hadn’t considered the possibility that he had been part of the organization that Chuuya was running from.

Dazai nodded again. “At the time, I wasn’t officially a member yet, but Mr. Mori had taken me in. His role as the boss of the Port Mafia was still unstable and he didn’t have the loyal following he has now, so he assigned me with finding you. I know that for him it was some kind of test about my abilities, but for me… well, let’s just say that my life was pretty pointless back then. I didn’t have anything better to do, so I accepted.”

“So you almost destroyed my life because you were bored? Is that supposed to make it seem better?” Chuuya wanted to grab him by his stupid bolo tie and shake him, out of confusion more than anything. He couldn’t associate the image he had of Dazai in his mind with the person who tried to take his freedom away from him.

Dazai didn’t try to defend himself, instead he continued, “Running into you in the arcade was a coincidence, but I knew who you were. I hadn’t planned to talk to you.”

Chuuya hated that everything about that day that he had considered so special for so long was being reconstructed. Had Dazai even enjoyed playing with him half as much as he had, or had he only used the day as an opportunity to get more information about him?

“Why didn’t you just lure me into the Port Mafia then?”

“I confirmed your identity to Mr. Mori but I told him that you weren’t worth the risk.”

For some reason that enraged Chuuya more than anything Dazai had said that day. “So I wasn’t even worth your time then?”

“That’s not what I—” Dazai had been calm during his explanation, but this seemed to be his breaking point too. “You could have been very useful to the Mafia, but your ties to the world of light were too tight, it would have taken too much to break you enough to leave it behind. Mr. Mori disagreed at first and decided to keep observing you, even without my involvement, but he reached the same conclusion too.”

“Were you at the attempted ambush?” Chuuya had to know. He reached to grab Dazai’s bolo tie. He had meant to shake him, he was sure, but he ended up just holding on to it.

“No,” Dazai answered quickly. He didn’t try to move away. Was it stupid for Chuuya to believe him? “I told Mr. Mori I wasn’t interested in assisting him in that. I was in Subarachi city that day but for a different assignment.”

That made Chuuya pause. He loosened his grip on Dazai’s tie before letting it go. “And he just accepted that you weren’t interested?” Although he didn’t know him personally, the Port Mafia Boss didn’t seem like the kind of person who would accept insubordination. 

“He was desperate enough at the time to recruit me officially that he was okay with it.”

The situation sounded peculiar. Dazai at twenty was brilliant, that was a fact. If Chuuya hadn’t grown alongside Ranpo he would consider him the smartest person he knew. It made sense why the Port Mafia Boss would want him in his organization, but back then he had been a fifteen year old brat, why had Mori been so interested in him?

“You said he took you in?”

Dazai nodded. “I met him when I was fourteen when he was still the Port Mafia’s doctor. I was living on the street at the time.”

He didn’t elaborate further, but Chuuya was starting to get the picture. It would be easy for someone as twisted as Mori to take advantage of a young vulnerable kid with no family. If Murase hadn’t taken him in, who is to say that Chuuya wouldn’t have ended up in a similar place?

“I’m not a good person,” Dazai said suddenly. “After I joined the Port Mafia, I became an executive pretty quickly, and I didn’t achieve that by being a good person. I’m not sure I even know what it means to be good, but when I was eighteen I made a promise to my friend that I would try to be on the side that saves people, and that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m glad that the Armed Detective Agency has given me the chance to do it.”

And I hope I don’t lose it, went unsaid but Chuuya heard it anyway.

He didn’t have to believe Dazai. He could accuse him of being a traitor and question him further about what exactly he had been doing while he was part of the Port Mafia. He almost wanted to keep being angry at him, even if it was just to be able to excuse all the overwhelming feelings that were circling around his chest as just that. 

But, unfortunately, Chuuya’s rage had died down. Despite everything that Dazai had revealed, Chuuya trusted him and, worst of all, he was still in love with him.

“Just make sure my dad never learns about your involvement in my matter or even I won’t be able to save you.”

Dazai stared at him for several seconds, seemingly stunned. Chuuya was ready to ask him what was wrong with him when he said, “Chuuya would save me?” Although his voice came out strained, Chuuya could tell that he had tried to pass it as a joke.

“Well, since you are a member of the agency, as your senpai I have no choice.”

“Does that mean I get to call you senpai?” Dazai grinned, delighted. 

“Try it and see how fast I call my dad to tell him everything that I found out today.”

For some reason, that actually made Dazai shut up. Although Chuuya’s dad was a tall and broad man, he had a kind face that made most people underestimate him. Not a lot of people were able to sense just how terrifying he could be when his loved ones were threatened. Perhaps Dazai was one of those few.

There were a lot more explanations he had to get out of Dazai, quite a few things he should have been asking about his time in the mafia and his intentions in joining the agency and befriending him. He knew this was the least important question out of them all, yet it was the only one he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“Why didn't you come find me?”

If he had been so regretful, why hadn’t he chased after him the moment he left? Why hadn’t he shown up at his door to ask him for another chance?

“You weren't at your house,” Dazai answered matter of factly.

“Ah,” Chuuya breathed, suddenly filled with relief.  “You don't know where Akiko lives.”

Dazai shook his head with a smile. “I figured that was where you would go but your dad was already suspicious when I went looking for you at your house, I doubt he would have told me.”

“He wouldn’t,” Chuuya confirmed with a chuckle. He had told his dad that he would go out with Dazai and then he had texted him not long after that he would spend the night at Yosano’s, it wouldn’t have been hard to put two and two together when Dazai had shown up asking for him that they had had a fight. 

“Want to come upstairs with me now?” Dazai asked then, looking hopeful at Chuuya’s improved mood. 

Chuuya huffed a laugh and turned to walk to his bike instead. He smiled as he heard Dazai follow behind him.

“Chuuya hasn’t forgiven me yet?” 

Instead of replying, Chuuya climbed on his motorbike and handed Dazai his spare helmet before putting his on. “Hurry up, we have somewhere to go.”

“We do?” Dazai stared at the helmet instead of putting it on.

“You have five seconds before I leave you behind,” Chuuya warned. “Five, four, thr—”

Dazai had put his helmet on and had climbed behind him before he could finish. “So bossy,” he said into Chuuya’s ears while wrapping his arms around his waist. He wasn’t wearing cologne this time, yet Chuuya thought he preferred his natural scent. 

(Oh God, he really was a goner.)

Several minutes later, Chuuya pulled up his bike in front of a familiar place. The exterior of the arcade looked almost the same, excluding some new graffiti added on the walls. Dazai followed him inside without a comment. 

The two of them looked around the room. Most of the machines were new and Chuuya apparently hadn't been in an arcade in too long, because he could barely tell what they were. Yet, miraculously, the one game that had started it all, the one Dazai had been playing the day Chuuya met him, was still standing there, at the same spot. Chuuya laughed as he approached it, taking notice of all the new scratches and marks that were decorating it.

“It’s still here,” he told Dazai, turning around to face him. 

Dazai was looking at him with a soft smile. “After all the years, it’s the same.”

He must have been talking about the game, yet Chuuya felt himself blushing at his tone.

Everything had started there, five years prior. Perhaps it was the perfect place for this new chapter in their lives to start too. 

Chuuya, uncaring of the kids and teenagers that were loitering around, grabbed Dazai’s stupid bolo tie once more and pulled him down for a kiss. He kept the kiss short, barely giving Dazai the chance to move his lips. Dazai tried to pull him back in, but Chuuya plopped himself down on the stool, acting as nonchalant as possible.

“We’re in public, behave,” he told him, pretending to be busy with starting the game.

“You’re the one who kissed me! Chuuya, you’re so cruel!” Dazai whined, but he took a seat across from him. 

“If you can win —fairly— maybe you can get another kiss.”

“Oh, you’re on!”

Three hours later, Chuuya lay in his bed, his lips swollen. Dazai lifted his head from where he had been resting it on Chuuya’s chest to kiss him again, long and deep, progressively moving more and more on top of Chuuya until his entire body was covered by him. Chuuya lifted Dazai’s shirt just enough to be able to explore his —surprisingly— broad back easier. It felt like every inch of skin he touched became warmer.

“Chuuya’s skills at gaming have not improved at all,” Dazai broke the kiss just to tease him.

Chuuya flipped them around, straddling Dazai’s hips. He very much enjoyed the stunned look on Dazai’s face. “Say that again, bastard.” He squeezed his thighs around Dazai’s hips even more.

“If you’re gonna do this again I’m definitely saying that again,” Dazai said, breathless.

Before he could get the opportunity to do just that —because he was sure he would— Chuuya leaned down to connect their lips in a bruising kiss while also starting to grind down slowly, quite aware of the growing tent in Dazai’s pants.

Dazai’s hands were gripping his ass and one of Chuuya’s hands was lowering Dazai’s zipper when the sound of the front door opening reached his ears, followed by his dad’s unmistaken shout of, “I’m home!”

Chuuya was standing and pulling his shirt back on in record time, yelling back his greeting, “Hey dad! Dazai and I are hanging out.”

When he turned back to look at the man, he was still lying there with his pants half unzipped and his shirt halfway off. Chuuya gestured to him wildly to hurry up and make himself presentable before his dad inevitably burst into the room.

Dazai had barely managed to do that and moved to sit in Chuuya’s bed with a pillow tastefully placed in his lap when Murase knocked on the door just once before opening it and walking in.

“Hey boys, have you eaten yet?” He asked, completely unaware of what he had barely avoided witnessing.

“Hi Mr. Murase! Not yet, we haven’t,” Dazai said with a polite smile. Chuuya wanted to burst into laughter at the scene unfolding in front of him.

“Ah we can't have that.” His dad clapped his hands. “I'm ordering us a late lunch”

And just like that, his dad was out of the room, leaving the door wide open behind him. Chuuya closed it slowly and then turned back to Dazai. 

“I need to get my own place.”

“I have my own room in the dormitory,” Dazai suggested. 

“I'm not having sex with you while all our coworkers can hear!”

“We can just be quiet,” Dazai argued. 

“I can't do quiet,” Chuuya said nonchalantly. It was the truth. Then he noticed the look Dazai was throwing at him and added, “Stop thinking about it or you'll have to come out for lunch with the pillow.”

“And whose fault would that be?!”

Their efforts to keep their developing relationship discreet lasted less than a week. It was on a Friday, a week after their failed first date, when Dazai had actually taken him out on a proper first date. It went much better than the previous time, so Chuuya brought him home while his dad was supposed to be out.

Of course, that was the day that Murase had gotten off work earlier than expected and had innocently walked in the house to catch his son making out with his ‘friend’ on the couch.

Chuuya sighed. “This is exactly what it looks like.”

“Chuuya!” Dazai hissed from the other side of the couch where he had thrown himself when the door had opened. He sounded way too scandalized for someone who had been eagerly shoving his tongue into Chuuya’s mouth less than a minute prior.

“You two are…” His dad started. Although there wasn't shock on his face, he looked unsure about how to continue his sentence.

“Dating,” Chuuya replied quickly, saving him from having to consider the other possibilities. “It hasn’t even been a week.”

“So last Friday when you told me you were having dinner with him but then he came here searching for you looking upset and you stayed at Akiko’s…?” 

“There was a misunderstanding, but it’s resolved now. It’s all good,” Chuuya made sure to reassure him. His dad liked Dazai, and perhaps this secret couldn’t be hidden forever, but Chuuya felt the need to protect his boyfriend for the moment.

Murase stared at him for a moment, probably searching his expression for any doubt, before he smiled brightly. “This is amazing news then! I was expecting it to happen!”

“You were?” Dazai asked, unsure. 

Murase smiled at him too, just as warmly. “I know my son. And you two have been dancing around it for quite a while, haven’t you?”

Neither of them could deny it, but Chuuya couldn’t stop himself from grumbling, “You really have some nerve saying this.”

“Huh?” The most annoying part about this was that his dad seemed genuinely confused.

“Nothing.” Chuuya waved him off. He had given up on trying to make his dad see what was in front of him. Both Murase and Dazai looked like they wanted to ask him to elaborate so Chuuya changed the subject, quite ungracefully, with, “Since we are making announcements, I should also say that I want to start looking for an apartment of my own.”

“You want to move out?” Regardless of how fast his dad schooled his expression into a more neutral one, Chuuya didn’t miss the devastation on his face.

“I’ll search for something nearby,” he rushed to reassure him. “You can help me look.”

Murase smiled, small but genuine, at that. “Yeah that will be nice.” Then he turned to Dazai with his fake strict look. “I hope you two aren’t thinking of moving in together so soon.”

“No, sir,” Dazai replied, way too seriously. 

Chuuya made eye contact with his dad and then they both bursted into laughter.

“Stop scaring him,” Chuuya told his dad between cackles. He reached over for Dazai’s hand, giving it a squeeze. He watched Murase follow the movement with his eyes and smile down at them.

“As long as you treat my son right you have nothing to fear.”

Dazai didn’t look that reassured by his words but he did rush to say, “Of course, I’ll be good to him.”

Murase hummed, quite obviously enjoying seeing his son’s boyfriend squirm under his gaze. Chuuya was ready to tell him to lay off Dazai again when his dad seemed to suddenly remember something. “Does Yukichi know?” he asked.

“Not yet.” Chuuya shook his head. “Do you think he will have a problem? Since we work together?”

“Ah no, he was expecting this as much as I did,” his dad laughed. “We didn’t have a bet going on because Yukichi doesn’t do bets, but I have won it either way.”

Chuuya didn’t particularly want to ask him to clarify. “That’s… good then.”

“Let me know when you tell him, I have a lot to discuss with him about this.” Murase clapped his hands once, disturbingly delighted to gossip about his own son with his friend. 

He left the room before Chuuya could finish debating whether it was worth complaining about it or not.

“Okay, I have to ask,” Dazai said the moment Murase was out of earshot. 

Chuuya was still holding his hand so he smiled, rubbing circles on it with his thumb. He already knew what was coming. “What is it?” 

“What's the deal with your dad and Mr. Fukuzawa?”

“Well, they are—”