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It begins with breakfast.
It’s a date, Suo clarifies. However, that seems too overwhelming to hear, so Sakura just blushes and turns away. That’s alright, Suo thinks: it’s cute how Sakura reacts. And he’s nothing if not a patient man.
Usually, shared breakfasts are in Sakura’s dingy apartment. They’d bump shoulders in the small space and fumble around to make something passably edible. Suo actually enjoyed all those times and thinks both of them are getting better at cooking for that simple fact. But, Sakura said he wanted some bread and who is Suo to deny him such a thing?
Only, Sakura stands behind Suo nervously. He’s peering over his shoulder with a hand faintly resting on his back. Implicitly, Sakura nudges Suo forward. So, Suo follows the waiter to a table.
Suo thinks that’s odd: the awkward manner that Sakura takes to this modestly packed cafe that they’ve visited before. He doesn’t mention it. Instead, he looks at the menu and orders jasmine tea and a red bean bun.
“I thought you wanted a croissant,” Sakura mutters across the table.
Suo smiles, pleased to know that half-asleep Sakura who had just woken up had paid attention to him. “I changed my mind. Right now, the red bean bun looks delicious.”
Sakura nods, telling the employee that he wants a curry bun and almond croissant. “Oh, and,” he mumbles, “a matcha.”
Suo suppresses his surprise, closing the menu and thanking the waiter. “Are you tired, Sakura-kun?”
He makes a face. “No, I’m not. Do I look tired?”
He shook his head. “Matcha has caffeine.”
“Oh, yeah,” he says quietly.
Suo wonders silently.
“I just wanted to try it.”
“I see. I hope the curry bun is good. You kept talking about how you wanted one.”
He nods. “I haven’t gotten it before because I wasn’t in the mood for savory bread. But it always looks good, so I’ve been interested.”
“But you’re still in the mood for sweet bread,” he notes.
“Oh, the croissant?”
Suo nods.
“Hm, a little bit. I thought—“ he flushes, suddenly finding the edge of his napkin riveting, “—maybe you’d want some as well…”
Suo smiles. His boyfriend is adorable. He has to restrain himself from reaching across the table and pinching his cheek. “Thank you, Sakura-kun. You’re always welcome to my food,” he reminds him lightly.
Sakura frowns with equal parts embarrassment and indignation. “You offer me food, so that’s not fair! Not even for that time I ate a whole loaf in a day!” He pouts, red all the way to the top of his ears.
Suo’s grin never fades. “I’m not upset. I like when you feed yourself. Next time, you should eat meals regularly instead of sitting down with a whole loaf of bread at midnight.”
He rolls his eyes, nudging Suo’s shin under the table. “That was one time! And I was sick before that, so it makes sense…!” Sakura rationalizes.
“Back then,” Suo reminds him as their two drinks arrive alongside three plates of bread, “you should have let me know earlier.”
Sakura lets out the smallest sigh. “Yeah, I know. We don’t need a repeat of that conversation.”
“Good.”
“This smells good…!” Sakura all but drools as he picks up his curry bun with sparkling eyes. He glances up at Suo who watches eagerly.
He nods, clasping his hands together before reaching for his drink.
Sakura mumbles a brief thanks for the food and digs in. His cheeks glow red. “Suo!”
Pulling his tea from his lips, Suo’s smile settles into something easy. “Yes, Sakura-kun?”
“It’s good…! I mean…!” He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, pulling crumbs and sauce across his face. “Wanna try?” Sakura extends his half-eaten curry bun across the table.
Admittedly, Suo does not want to try it because he isn’t in the mood for a curry bun. However, his boyfriend is asking, so, before Sakura can take it back, Suo leans across the table, lightly holds Sakura’s wrist, and takes a bite. “Mhm! It is good!”
As Suo sits back down, Sakura realizes what just happened. His eyes widen and he stiffly falls back into his seat. He’s profusely red and he pulls his ears down to his shoulders, mumbling, “Yeah…” Absent-mindedly, he takes another bite. Sakura realizes he’s just eaten where Suo had, so he turns away and shoves his face into the seat, metaphorical steam pouring out of his ears.
Suo just sits on the other side of the table with a jovial smile and light laughter filtering past his jasmine tea. He otherwise sits quietly. He’d like to tease his cute boyfriend for all these little things but he knows better than to get too carried away. So, he’ll be patient with his embarrassment and awkwardness.
Eventually, Sakura unravels himself. He’s a little disheveled looking but otherwise, his skin tone has returned to neutrality. His hands are rid of his curry bun and he’s chewing when Suo offers him a napkin. He wipes his face, asking grumbly, “How’s your red bean bun?”
Always one to return a favor, Suo holds out his red bean bun.
Sakura eyes it warily, rouge tinting his ears again.
He blows a chuckle out of his nose. He rips a sizable piece off his perfectly untouched red bean bun and offers it once more.
“That’s kinda a lot,” Sakura notes.
“Let me know how it tastes.” Suo prompts him by bringing his own piece to his mouth.
Sakura eats his piece in record time. “I like it.”
Suo nods.
“I’s a good sweetness.”
He lightly taps the table. “Your tea is going to go cold.”
“Oh, yeah,” he utters as if he’d completely forgotten about his drink. He pulls his matcha toward him, anxiously tapping the cup. “So, I just… drink it?” Sakura looks at Suo with a complicated expression.
“Yes,” he answers with an amused smile. “You’ve had tea before,” Suo notes, “though, I can’t recall you enjoying it much.”
Sakura hums. “Yeah, I don’t really like it.”
Again, it’s not as though Suo doesn’t know this. That’s why he never assumes Sakura wants any when he makes some; instead, he’ll ask if he wants some and, the past hundred times, he’s said no. But, it’s one thing to know and it’s another thing for Sakura—relationally curious but completely inexperienced—to outright say he dislikes something Suo had offered him. Suo’s only slightly bothered that he hadn’t given him something to his tastes. Mostly, he’s neutral about it, if not seriously confused.
“Then, why did you order tea today?” Suo wonders.
“Because you always do,” Sakura says simply.
That doesn’t enlighten Suo any further but he doesn’t get the chance to say anything because Sakura is trying his drink.
He makes a face as he pulls the matcha away from his mouth. “Bitter.”
“Yes, it is,” Suo says instinctually before adding, “I don’t understand. You don’t like bitter things and you always say that tea is bitter.”
He shrugs, setting down the tea. “Yeah, well… Thought maybe it’d be different.”
Suo’s confusion does not subside. Instead, he offers, “Would you like to try my tea?”
He does so because it’s a reaction that’s been ingrained into him. He doesn’t actually expect Sakura to take him up on his offer since history has shown a less-than-positive relationship between Sakura and tea.
All this to say, Sakura nods and reaches across the table for a sip of jasmine tea.
Suo blinks. Suo stares. He decidedly does not mention to Sakura that he drank from Suo’s cup. All he does is carefully observe Sakura’s reaction.
He makes a face, one that says he’s trying to gauge his feelings. That’s better than the disgust of bitterness, Suo supposes. Sakura licks his lips to better taste the tea. “It tastes kind of like how flowers smell,” he notes.
He nods. “You’re right. Jasmine tea tends to be more floral and sweeter than matcha. Do you like it?”
He shrugs. He takes another sip. “I don’t mind it, I guess.” Sakura returns the tea to its rightful owner. “It’s not so bad,” he remarks, surprise evident in his voice.
More than that, Suo notices a smile that creeps onto Sakura’s face.
Between the two of them, Suo is more likely to smile over a nice cup of tea, especially given the grimaces Sakura expresses. But, the smile lingers and lingers and Suo’s perplexity just doesn’t fade.
Naturally, he enjoys seeing Sakura happy. If it’s within his power, he’d only do things that would make Sakura happy, so Suo does what he does best and learns. “What are you thinking, Sakura-kun?”
Sakura is immediately thrown off by the question. It’s as if he’s just been exposed in a vulnerable state. His eyes are blown wide open and he stutters around for the right words—any words—to come out. It ends up as a broken string of ums and ahs, punctuated by a violently flushing face.
Suo, of course, is amused that such a little question could do that to him but he also feels bad about it. Maybe, he touched on something a little too sensitive for a weekend breakfast at a cafe. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked,” he apologizes sincerely. He points to the almond croissant. “Should I cut you a piece?”
He shakes his head stiffly.
Suo suppresses a frown. “Would you prefer to trade drinks? There isn’t much left of the jasmine tea,” he mentions, noticeably apologetic.
Sakura stays quiet.
This happens from time to time. Earlier in their relationship, Suo would say or do something that was a little too much or a little too uncomfortable for Sakura’s liking. If it was a particularly delicate situation, Sakura would retreat into himself. Suo didn’t think this was delicate enough for the silent treatment but he doesn’t know everything about Sakura—though, he’d like to.
All he knows now is that Sakura isn’t happy.
Suo’s instinct is to crack a joke. Snappy Sakura, the one resembling a startled cat, is easy to deal with, fun even. It feels like Sakura. However, before he gets the chance to remark how the caffeine seemed to sap, rather than restore, his energy, Sakura speaks.
“Suo.”
“Yes, Sakura-kun?”
“I—uh—“ he clears his throat, decidedly looking to the side. “I’ve always thought I was a bad boyfriend.”
Suo wants to refute that immediately but he waits when he sees the expression morphing on Sakura’s face.
“Like, in terms of lovers…” He bites his lip. “I don’t deserve you. Because you’re…” Sakura hesitates, awkwardly saying, “You’re the best. Well, I just mean, you know, that since the beginning, you’ve let me set the pace, choose where we go, what we do, and when. You’re always so attentive and you're always waiting for me. I—I do notice that much…! Even if I don’t say it…”
Suo nods. He still doesn’t really agree but he waits.
Sakura flushes frustratedly as he continues thinking and speaking. “I was thinking that every time we have dates, it’s just about food. I mean, I don’t know what people do on dates! That’s just kinda comfortable for me, I guess, ‘cause I like food. But, it’s probably boring for you.”
“Boring?” Suo’s voice rises. It’s barely noticeable but Suo knows it and—by the straightened back of Sakura—Sakura does too. “Never, Sakura-kun. You’re the most fascinating and amusing person I know. I love sharing meals with you, cooking, and seeing you enjoy your food.”
He looks unconvinced as he digs a hand into his shirt, twisting the fabric. “Yeah, but… It feels like it’s all about me. I want to be good for you,” Sakura admits.
He softens. “You are.” He reaches his hand across the table. “I promise you are.”
“I want to feel like I’m good for you,” he corrects. “I wanna be good to you on good days, not just when stuff is bad,” Sakura confesses, gingerly resting a few of his fingers on Suo’s hand. “I wanna know you and try to know about the things you like—the way that you do for me.”
And it clicks. “Ah, then, the tea, the croissant and sharing.”
Sakura looks away as if ashamed.
“Sakura-kun,” Suo prods gently. He takes his hand and squeezes gently.
“Stop.”
“Stop what?”
In a flash, Sakura stands. He moves around the table and seats himself next to Suo so they share his booth seat. “Don’t look at me.”
“But, I like looking at you.”
Sakura grumbles and places his hands on Suo’s cheeks, forcing his gaze to the other—empty—side of the table.
“Alright,” Suo concedes. “Thank you for thinking of me, Sakura-kun.”
He huffs. He scoots closer to Suo, leaning on him as he loops his arm around Suo’s.
“You know something—“ he looks down, infinitely conscious of the way their fingers thread together seamlessly, “—I find that being a good lover isn’t all that difficult; it just requires a person to love and to try. And, Sakura-kun—“ Suo leans into Sakura, resting his cheek against his hair, “—you do both. So, you can’t be a bad lover. You’re a good lover—a great one even.”
Sakura sighs. “You’re so unfair…!”
Suo laughs, running his thumb over the back of Sakura’s hand. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
“Oh my god, stop…” He blushes, hiding in Suo’s shoulder.
“Oh, but my boyfriend is the sweetest! You’re so cute!” Suo gushes.
He scowls despite his scarlet face and rises so he can use his free hand to pull Suo’s cheek. “Stop that!”
“You’re the best, Sakura-kun,” he reassures him with a pinch to his cheek. He does that even with their hands connected between them. However, Suo relents quickly by keeping the pinch short-lived—unlike Sakura who’s still tugging.
Finally, he lets go and returns to Suo’s shoulder. There, he mutters, “I still don’t think I’m very good at this dating/boyfriend thing.”
“I don’t mind,” Suo reveals easily, reaching around to smooth Sakura’s hair. “We’re in no rush.”
Sakura hisses, “You say that, but…”
“Do you think I’ll have to wait forever?”
He nods. The movement is constrained by the firm press of Sakura’s head to Suo’s shoulder.
“You’re silly if you think I wouldn’t wait that long for you.”
“Suo!” Sakura exclaims as if scorned.
“Or, rather,” he continues, “I might even prefer that.”
His mouth drops open. “Are you demented?”
“If you’re suggesting that you’d forever be trying—”
Still shell-shocked, Sakura nods to confirm Suo’s thoughts.
“—then,” Suo continues, “you’re promising an eternity by my side. If I only have to be patient, I’ll happily accept my eternity now.” He grins.
He pauses. And waits. Then he realizes, “You’re serious.”
“I always am,” Suo replies with a faint chuckle on his breath.
“That’s not funny,” Sakura tries to say flatly, though it ends up a little pitchy. He punctuates his point by nudging his chest with the back of his hand. And, stubbornly so, Sakura just watches as the smile never fades from Suo’s face. In fact, it only seems to stick in place, passing time only making it more amused. It must be then that Sakura realizes that he can’t ever convince Suo to quit this. So, he gives in. “You’re ridiculous,” he grumbles not unkindly. Sakura finally pulls his hand out of Suo’s and loops his arm around Suo’s neck.
Suo responds in kind, leaning into him and placing his hand on his shoulder. “Anything for you,” he replies with tender ease and a knowing severity. After all, there isn’t anything quite so sure or delightful as having Sakura next to him. Eternity is a small price to pay for Sakura to be comfortable enjoying what Suo already revels in.