Chapter 1: Lightning Strikes Twice
Chapter Text
A twenty-two-year-old Harry Potter strolled into a crowded Leaky Cauldron. He rubbed his freezing hands and blew warm air into them. He shuddered pleasantly from the sudden warmth that enveloped him when he walked inside. Instinctively, he scanned his surroundings, categorizing and profiling all the people around him. Five years of Auror work made him slightly wary, though his best mate Ron would call him paranoid. A few familiar faces nodded or waved. Hannah Abbot, the owner and barmaid, waved him over with a large smile.
“Happy Halloween, Harry! The usual?” Hannah polished an already sparkling goblet. She had once told him that bartenders tended to pick up the habit because it made them look busy. Useful for eavesdropping, apparently.
“No thanks, Hannah. I’m meeting Katie here today for our anniversary,” A tender smile blossomed on Harry’s face unwittingly at the thought of his girlfriend. “I was going to take her to the Halloween festival over in Hogsmeade.”
“Oh, that sounds like so much fun,” Hannah winked at him, then frowned slightly. “I wish Neville weren’t stuck with feast duty this year,” She shook her head. “Oh, don’t let me ruin your mood. Go on then, your usual booth is free.”
Harry squeezed Hannah’s shoulder consolingly, before making his way to his booth. He sat down and ran his hand down the plush leather seat, then on the crevices in the table. Just like the first time, it helped soothe his nerves. Despite it having been two years ago, the way he sank into the cushion and the way the table sounded against his tapping fingers felt oh-so-familiar.
Exactly two years ago, a twenty-year-old Harry Potter strolled into a crowded Leaky Cauldron. This time, he entered through a door near the rear of the pub. The door that led to trashcans, litter, and Diagon Alley. He had just finished a patrol with his mentor, Mad-Eye Moody, who dismissed him early and told him to go celebrate. Harry chuckled as he heard Mad-Eye yell something along the lines of “CONSTANT VIGILANCE” behind him. Harry planned to pass through the Cauldron and floo back home when he noticed a woman sitting alone at a booth. There was something oddly familiar about her dark blonde hair. She looked up and put her head in her hands. At that moment, recognition washed over him, along with a tightening in his chest that he hadn’t felt in a long time.
“Katie! Long time no see!” Katie Bell looked up from her neglected drink to see a grinning Harry Potter approaching her.
“Harry! It’s been such a long time!” She exclaimed with wide, hazel eyes. She stood up and gave her old friend and once teammate a friendly hug. “It’s been what, four years?”
“Yeah, time flies, huh? How have you been? How’s work?” Harry ran a hand through his hair, soothing the old tendencies and feelings that bubbled up at the sight of his old friend. “You should be finishing up healer training, right?”
“Yeah, by this January I should be a fully qualified healer,” Katie said, her tone flecked with pride. “I can’t believe you remembered that after all this time.” Harry rubbed the back of his neck, his smile gaining a sheepish tinge. Not noticing the change in his behaviour, she continued talking.
“What about you? Still locked on becoming an Auror?”
“Yeah, I was just finishing up a patrol when I saw you, actually. I thought I would come say hi,” Harry looked at her table, and saw a second, golden-brown drink. One that hadn’t been touched.
“Are you waiting for someone?” Harry asked, and immediately regretted it as the smile vanished off Katie’s face.
“I think so? I don’t really know anymore.”
“Oh, I see…” Harry spoke before an awkward silence settled over them. Harry fiddled with one of the buttons on his woollen coat.
“Any plans for Halloween, then?” Katie broke the silence hesitantly.
“Oh, not much. I picked up some sweets from the Alley and was probably going to visit my folks. You?”
“Well, I did, but not anymore,” Katie gestured vaguely to the untouched drink. Her voice gained a bitter tinge. “Guess I’ve been stood up on Halloween.”
Harry frowned, debating the pros, cons, and chances of lifelong humiliation, before making up his mind. He slid into the other seat in Katie’s booth before gesturing her to sit.
“I hope you don’t mind if I steal this drink. It would be awful to let good Butterbeer go to waste. How about we grab dinner together then? I’m sure I can be a sufficient replacement date,” Harry grinned, before taking a sip of the drink. He gagged. “That’s not Butterbeer. This is terrible, what is this?”
“Leanne told me it was my date’s favourite drink. Thought I’d be nice and get him one before he arrived,” She shrugged. “But Harry, won’t your parents be expecting you?”
Harry could tell she wanted the company, but her Gryffindor selflessness wouldn’t let her accept it if it would burden him. He should know, he was the same way.
“Nah, mum would get it if I told her I was catching up with an old friend. It really has been forever since we last spoke. Besides,” he smirked. “Dad and Sirius would kill me if they found out I decided to grab dinner with them instead of going on a date with a beautiful lady.”
“So, this is a date then? You haven’t spoken to me in four years and you’re already making a move on me? How forward of you, Mister Potter.” Katie’s eyes, which had been sombre and reserved, now sparkled with mirth. Despite her teasing tone, her cheeks pinked. Harry, who had returned to glaring at the glass of not-Butterbeer, didn’t notice. He was too busy trying to calm his pounding heart. Katie sat down across from him and took a sip of her drink.
“Well. Date, dinner. Potato, Po-tah-to. Wouldn’t you agree Miss Bell?” said Harry, in a near-perfect imitation of Professor Snape’s feared drawl.
“Besides, if it’s anyone’s fault that we haven’t spoken in four years, it’s certainly not mine.”
Harry winced. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Katie’s easygoing nature receded, and her voice turned serious.
“You’re right. I didn’t do a great job of keeping in touch with you, did I? Being a Trainee Healer has taken over my entire life these past four years. I really am sorry I never replied to your letters.”
“Well, I probably could’ve made more effort after I graduated,” Harry trailed off, remembering why he had stopped sending her letters. Then he shrugged, internally relieved she had taken his slip up as well as she had. “But such is life. To second chances!” Harry held his drink to hers, and with a clink, they took a sip. Harry winced.
“Harry, it’s fine if the drink goes to waste, get something else for yourself, please. It physically pains me to watch you try to drink that garbage.”
“If you knew it was garbage, why did you even buy it?” Harry whined petulantly.
“Wasn’t for me, remember?” Katie said patiently. The corner of her mouth twitched. Harry rolled his eyes and placed the not-Butterbeer back on the table.
“Fine, I don’t really want to get a whole other drink,” Harry frowned. “Can I try yours?”
“Do you make a habit out of drinking out of your dates’ cups?”
“So, you’re my date now?”
“As you said – potato, po-tah-to.” Katie grinned at him and pushed her drink toward him. Her laughter shone golden in her eyes, and Harry didn’t know if it was wishful thinking, but he thought he saw something else swirling in their depths, just like he had seen all those years ago. He felt old feelings break through the carefully wrought cage he had buried them in. That same giddiness, the shortness of breath, it all began to come back as if he was fourteen years old again, and was walking back to the common room after the Yule Ball –
No.
Not again.
He couldn’t do it all over again.
But what if you don’t have to?
Harry accepted the glass hesitantly and took a tentative sip. “This is amazing,” Harry exclaimed. “Why was I drinking that rubbish this entire time? What’s this called?”
“It’s called ‘Mermaid’s Tears’,” Katie laughed. Her head tilted back, and a strand of dirty blonde hair fell into her face. Without thinking, Harry reached to tuck her hair behind her ear. Before he could touch her, their eyes met. She gazed at him with an unreadable expression, a blazing look in her eye that he just couldn’t place. He withdrew his hand quickly as if the proximity had burned him. The fire in her eyes dulled, replaced by what he might’ve thought was disappointment. But he knew better.
His face cleared of emotion. A part of him wanted to call it a night, go home, and scream into his pillow. Talk to his parents. His mum would know what to do. Both Harry and his dad had been terrible when it came to women. One of his mum’s favourite pastimes was recounting his dad’s many missteps when he was courting her. But Lily Potter was the smartest person Harry knew, and it was always her and his best friend Hermione that Harry looked to for advice. But Harry knew that this was a burden he’d have to carry himself. Hermione was never very good with things like emotions and feelings – those were answers she couldn’t find in a book. And his mum adored Katie. There was no way he’d ruin her image of her son’s childhood friend with his stupid feelings.
“I was thinking of heading –” Harry paused. He was going to say home. But then he looked at Katie and saw the look on her face. She looked nervous, worried, a little scared. Harry could imagine her thought process. First, her date stood her up, and then her childhood friend, whom she was reconnecting with after many years, suddenly clammed up and froze. Leaving would only seem like he was running away from her.
How was she to know that she’d done nothing wrong?
Harry was all too familiar with blaming himself for things that weren’t his responsibility, and he’d be thrice damned if he let Katie doubt herself for even a second. Harry summoned all his Gryffindor courage and swallowed, hoping he’d be able to get through the night without too much heartache. “– to Hogsmeade, if you wanted to come. I heard they’ve got a muggle Halloween festival. All kinds of games and food. It wouldn’t be a proper date if I didn’t try to win you some prizes, no?”
That last sentence came out a little weaker than expected. Katie seemed a little surprised but nodded nonetheless, “Sure, I don’t have work till tomorrow afternoon anyway, I can afford a late night.”
“Brilliant,” Harry grinned, finding that he meant it. He looked for Hannah so he could settle the tab. Katie noticed him looking and smirked.
“Already paid for the drinks, Potter. Your chivalry must take a backseat, sadly.”
“Well, Trainee Healers get paid more than Trainee Aurors anyway.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll let you win me some prizes, then we can call it even.”
“You’re the chaser, how am I supposed to beat you at carnival games? All of them involve throwing, not catching!” Harry grumbled good-naturedly, unable to fight the cheeriness that was overtaking him.
Katie laughed as they left the Cauldron. Harry’s heart nearly stopped when she looped her arm through his. Neither of them acknowledged it, but Harry was sure she could hear his heart beating out of his chest.
Exactly two years later, a twenty-two-year-old Harry smiled fondly as the memories replayed in his mind.
“Who’s got you smiling like that?” A familiar voice whispered in his ear, causing shivers to run down his spine. “Anyone I should be worried about?”
Harry jumped out of his seat before wrapping his arms around the owner of the voice. Katie laughed and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She placed a soft kiss on his nose.
“I met a girl at this table, you know? She had the most amazing eyes, the most beautiful nose, the –” Katie cut him off with a long kiss. When she pulled back, he looked a little dazed.
“Flatterer,” she accused.
“I prefer the term honest.”
“Ugh, where’d you learn to talk like that?” she glared half-heartedly. “How am I ever supposed to be mad at you when you say things like this?"
"You can blame Sirius for that one. Wait – why are you mad at me?”
“That’s for you to find out.”
“Wait, Katie are you being serious? Katie?” She only gave him a look of smug satisfaction. He kissed her palm and pleaded. “Come on love, don’t mess with me like this.”
“I’m not mad at you, Harry,” she smiled at him mischievously. His relief was palpable as he visibly deflated. “What do you have planned for today? You said it was a surprise.”
“If I said it was a surprise, what makes you think I’d tell you now?” Katie only pouted in response.
Harry waved Hannah over, “Two Mermaid’s Tears, please.” Within a few minutes, the two of them were sipping on identical drinks. They didn’t speak but sat there in contented silence. Occasionally, one of them would cut in with an anecdote about their day. Harry’s fingers traced patterns on Katie’s smaller hand. Much like it had two years ago, Harry’s heart throbbed painfully against his ribcage. He closed his eyes as he tried to get his breathing under control.
“Harry, are you alright?” His eyes shot open at her words. “You seem – odd.”
“Thanks, love. That’s exactly what a guy wants to hear.”
“I’m serious, Harry. You know you can tell me anything, right?” Katie squeezed his hand tight and stared at him till he returned her gaze. For a moment, he got lost in her eyes. Despite the concern that swirled in them, Harry felt himself be swallowed into their depths. They reminded him of the setting sun.
Specifically, he remembered a time, just a few weeks ago, when Katie had flooed him at an ungodly hour of the morning, sobbing. She had just come back from St. Mungo’s, distraught, having just lost her first patient. It was three in the morning, and she didn’t know who to call. She didn’t even get to speak, the tear tracks on her cheeks were enough for him to step through the fireplace and hold her as her body racked with sobs. Afterwards, they sat on the terrace of her flat, watching the sunrise.
Or at least, he did.
She fell asleep long before the sun rose. But he hadn’t slept. Seeing her crying like that – utterly, hopelessly devastated – he vowed on the rising sun that he would never let such a look cross her face again, even if it cost him everything he owned.
Perhaps she felt his gaze or just the first rays of the sun, but she had woken from her slumber, and her eyes fluttered open. The sun’s rays reflected in her hazel eyes. They were puffy and red from crying, but they still seemed to glow against the dawn like his personal twin suns. It was golden like he had never seen before. That same day, after Katie had returned to work (despite his insistence that she take a day off to recover) Harry had flooed to Diagon Alley before work and – well, he’d made a very important decision that day.
Harry was nervous, terrified even, but it was for a very good reason.
“I know love. I know,” Harry took a shuddering breath, giving himself time to figure out how to assuage her concerns without giving himself away. “I’m a little nervous. I spent a lot of time planning out tonight, and it means a lot to me that it goes well. I just want you to have a good time.”
“Harry, we could be in a wooden shack in the middle of a storm with nothing but a pack of crisps for food and I’d still be happy if I were with you.” Katie beamed at him. Harry swallowed the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him. It wouldn’t do well if he burst into sobs in the middle of the pub. Instead, he pulled her toward him and kissed her deeply across the table, trying to convey every feeling he couldn’t with words.
“Flatterer,” he smiled softly, drawing away.
“I prefer the term honest.” She grinned back, her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling.
Exactly two years ago, Twenty-year-old Harry Potter and Twenty-one-year-old Katie Bell apparated behind a rubbish bin with a distinct CRACK. They stepped out of the designated apparition point into the main road of Hogsmeade. The conversation was light as they walked. Katie hadn’t removed her arm from around his, and Harry was just starting to get used to it.
“How’s Livvy?” Harry asked, turning to look at Katie. “She’d be a fourth year now, right?”
“She’s doing fine. You really helped her out, you know? I never did thank you for that.” Katie bumped his shoulder, smiling softly at him. “She was so scared to go to Hogwarts, and we forgot I wouldn’t be there when she arrived. Thanks for looking out for her Harry.”
“It was my pleasure, Katie. Anything for a friend.” The word ‘friend’ felt bitter in Harry’s mouth, and he hoped she didn’t notice.
Olivia ‘Livvy’ Bell was Katie’s younger sister. She had started at Hogwarts in Harry’s seventh year, just after Katie had graduated. Before she left, Katie asked him to look out for her little sister. Harry had taken Livvy under his wing and helped her settle in. The two were still close and he would occasionally receive a letter whenever something particularly crazy happened at Hogwarts. Her last letter had retold, in excruciating detail, how Madam Pince and Filch had been caught in a broom closet. Harry had felt nauseous at even the thought of food for the rest of the day.
The irony didn’t escape Harry either. He was more frequently in contact with Katie’s younger sister than with Katie herself. Whose fault is that? Harry thought bitterly. Despite everything, Harry couldn’t find it in himself to blame Katie for all that had gone wrong between them. He knew it wasn’t rational, but he couldn’t help but think he could’ve done something differently.
Harry shook himself out of his thoughts.
“You know Livvy used to fancy you?” Katie laughed at Harry’s gobsmacked face.
“Livvy fancied me?” He squeaked, his face burning a bright red. “She’s like my little sister!”
“You were the handsome senior who looked after her when she didn’t know anyone else,” Katie shrugged, looking at some children running around a well, then spoke casually. “You’re very fanciable.”
Harry’s arm went stiff against hers. One, two, three… he counted to ten in his head, and took a deep breath.
“Hmmm,” he gritted out. “Do you still write Angelina and Alicia?”
“Yeah, Angie sent me a letter a few weeks ago and we’ve been sending them back and forth. Alicia is also at St. Mungo’s, she’s researching mind magic, so we try to grab lunch as often as we can,” she looked up at him and saw his blank face. She hesitated before asking softly. “What about you? When was the last time you spoke to Oliver? Or the twins?”
James Potter was the principal investor in Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes. As a result, Harry and his dad frequented Diagon Alley to look at their investment, which was just an excuse to visit old friends. Harry told Katie as such, though he mentioned that he hadn’t spoken to Oliver Wood in a while.
Another awkward silence settled over the two, as Harry fought to keep his emotions in check. A memory played in his mind. He tried to shove it deep into his subconscious, but it still cropped up now and then.
Six years earlier, fourteen-year-old Harry Potter was thoroughly enjoying his fourth year at Hogwarts. The Triwizard Tournament was in full swing, and the first task had been incredible to watch. Though he would admit he had been a little worried for his friend and rival seeker, Cedric Diggory, when the dragon set his pants on fire.
Harry was in the Gryffindor common room, where his head of house, Professor McGonagall, had called a house meeting. He sat in an armchair between his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, as they listened to McGonagall’s announcement. McGonagall had just told Gryffindor that the school would be hosting a Yule Ball and that as her students, they were expected to be on their best behaviour.
Harry wasn’t really paying attention. He had been watching a group of girls – Alicia Spinnet, Angelina Johnson, and Katie Bell. The Gryffindor chasers spoke in hushed tones once McGonagall left the common room. Ron saw Harry staring and slapped his shoulder. Harry turned around, then flushed at the knowing grin on Ron’s face. He made a shooing gesture, then gave Harry a thumbs-up and an encouraging grin.
Harry imagined his dad’s voice, teasing him for being too afraid to ask a girl to a dance. His dad had never been too afraid to ask his mum out, even though she had rejected him most of the time. He would be brave, just like his dad. With some luck, he would have a more successful track record to boot.
Harry stood up and returned Ron’s encouraging smile with a nervous one. He walked up to the chasers, standing in front of where Katie was sitting. Angelina noticed him first.
“Hey Harry,” she smirked at him, her dark eyes dancing with concealed laughter. Alicia and Katie both looked at him with a smile, but neither seemed to be aware of his intentions.
“Uh – Katie, do you mind if we step aside for a moment?” Harry stumbled through his words. “I – I wanted to ask you something.”
Alicia’s eyes gained the same knowing sparkle that Angelina’s had. Both struggled to maintain a straight face. Katie seemed mostly oblivious, though she looked at him with a questioning glance as she stood up. They exited the common room, and she leaned back against the railing of the corridor outside. Her blonde hair, which came down to just below her chin, flew about in the breeze. A stray lock fell into her face, and without thinking, Harry brushed it out of the way. Both their faces burned bright as his hand fell limply to the side.
“Er – you said you wanted to ask me something?” Katie looked at Harry with blazing eyes. The pools of hazel swirled like molten caramel with a hidden intensity that he couldn’t place. Suddenly, Harry was at a loss for words. His father’s confidence vanished, and Harry was left trying to remember his own name. “Harry?” Katie prompted again gently. Harry’s heart leapt into his throat.
“Would – Would you go to the Yule Bell with me?” Harry winced. “Ball. I mean, the Yule Ball.”
Katie laughed, and Harry’s heart dropped from his throat to the lowest pits of his stomach.
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
Harry could’ve cried he was so happy. Instead, he ran around the corner, let out a loud cheer, and pumped his fist. His voice shook from the sheer adrenaline. A couple seconds later, Harry came back around the corner and saw Katie standing there, laughing. He wrapped her in a tight hug before they went back inside the common room. Harry’s grin didn’t fade for the rest of the evening.
Where did it all go wrong? Pondered a twenty-year-old Harry Potter, six years later.
“Harry, look, there’s the festival!” Katie pointed at a section of Hogsmeade that was nigh overrun by students. “Looks like a Hogsmeade weekend.”
“Livvy told me that the upper years go to Hogsmeade before the feast,” Harry looked around. “Livvy is probably here, for that matter. We can try to find her if you’d like.”
Katie nodded enthusiastically. She let go of his arm, and before he could lament the loss of warmth, she grabbed his hand and dragged him into the crowd. He really hoped she didn’t see the bright red in his cheeks.
Harry found himself in front of an Apple-Bobbing stall. He was trying to explain Apple-Bobbing to Katie when he saw a flash of gold. A girl with Katie’s dark blonde hair walked past them, holding hands with a taller, dark-haired boy.
“Livvy!” Harry called out, waving a hand at the younger girl. Katie looked at Harry, and then at her sister. At the same time, the younger girl turned around in surprise, before a large smile split her face.
“Harry! Katie!” Olivia Bell sprinted towards them and jumped into Katie’s outstretched arms. She then hugged Harry quickly, before she and Katie started conversing excitedly. Harry looked past the sisters and smiled at the boy Livvy had been with.
“Hey. Harry Potter. Nice to meet you,” Harry held out his hand and the boy shook it. His handshake was a little limp and his hands were clammy. Harry guessed that the boy was on a date with Livvy and wasn’t expecting to meet her older sister.
“Ethan Turpin, nice to meet you Mister Potter,” the boy, Ethan, smiled nervously. “My sister has great things to say about you.”
“Is your sister Lisa Turpin?” Harry asked to which Ethan nodded. “Ah, I was good friends with your sister. She and my best friend Hermione were academic rivals, so I would sit with her whenever Hermione and I argued. We just hit it off after that.”
Ethan laughed, though it sounded forced. His eyes kept flickering over to Livvy.
“How do you know Livvy – I mean – Olivia?” Asked Harry.
“We had muggle studies together last year, so we became friends,” Ethan kept glancing at the sisters, who were still dead to the rest of the world and lost in their own conversation. However, Harry did notice that both girls would occasionally glance at Harry and Ethan, giggle or cast a suspicious look, then turn back. “I asked her to Hogsmeade today. Still can’t believe she said yes.”
Ethan’s grin was infectious, and Harry found himself returning it. He squeezed the younger boy’s shoulder. “You seem like a good kid, and if you’re anything like Lisa, you’d be a smart one too.” He glanced at the other boy’s scarf – blue and bronze, typical. “Take care of Livvy, she seems to be quite fond of you as well,” Harry winked, and Ethan’s ears burned red.
“I will, Mister Potter, you have my word,” Ethan said seriously. Harry broke out in laughter.
“Please, call me Harry. And just for your information,” Harry whispered conspiratorially. “Last I checked, Livvy loves Pepper Imps. One of those things about her I’ll never understand. If you wanted to buy her sweets, you can’t go wrong with a pack of those.” Ethan nodded, once again, very seriously. Harry could almost see the information being logged into the young Ravenclaw’s brain. Holding back laughter again, Harry looked over at the girls who seemed to be finishing up their conversation.
“Well,” Harry said as he approached them, and Ethan followed him with apprehension. He clapped the younger boy’s shoulder. “Ethan here has been sufficiently vetted, he’s my friend Lisa’s little brother. He’s also been sufficiently threatened. He knows that if he hurts Livvy, I’ll turn him into a mouse and feed him to Mrs. Norris. Right, Ethan?”
The teenage boy nodded frantically, looking at Harry with a face full of fear. Harry waited a beat before he doubled over in laughter. Katie shook her head before shoving him away from Ethan.
“I’m sorry about him. His brain stopped growing when he turned sixteen,” she held her hand out for Ethan, who shook it. “I’m Katie, Olivia’s older sister. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“I’m sorry, Ethan,” Harry eked out between gasping laughter. “But you should’ve seen your face.”
Livvy huffed and punched Harry in the arm. He gave her a one-armed hug and ruffled her hair. “How’ve you been, Livvy?”
“Fine, before the two of you came and ruined my date.”
“Well, we’ll leave you to it then,” Harry lightly shoved her toward Ethan. “Have fun you two. Happy Halloween.”
“Before you go, Katie, when was the last time you spoke to mum?” Livvy asked. Katie’s shoulders went rigid, and Harry winced. “She’s been asking me about you.”
Katie’s parents had gotten divorced in her fifth year. From what Harry knew, it had been Katie’s mum who wanted the separation. Livvy, at only eight years old, had been too young to remember how sad and lifeless Katie’s dad had been afterwards. Katie had also been hurt by her mother’s actions, and clearly, still hadn’t forgiven her for hurting her father and tearing their family apart.
Harry remembered too vividly the morning when Katie had heard the news. How could he not? It was the same day he had lost her.
Six years earlier, a fourteen-year-old Harry Potter sat opposite a fifteen-year-old Katie Bell at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. It was the morning of the 25th of December. Normally, the hall would be mostly empty, but the Yule Ball that would be taking place that evening had kept most students in the castle. Most, including Harry, were packed to go home on the train the next day and spend the remainder of the holidays with family.
A cacophony of flapping noises heralded the morning post, and Hedwig, Harry’s owl, landed in front of him with a small parcel. Harry absently noted that Katie had also received a letter, though he was more interested in what was in his package.
Harry opened the parcel to find a gold wristwatch. He had seen his dad wearing it on special occasions. He searched the parcel for a note. He found it under the cushion around which the watch was wrapped. He unfolded the note, which he instantly recognized to be from his dad.
Dear Prongs Junior,
Happy Christmas kiddo. Your mum and I miss you so much, but we hope you have an amazing time at the Ball. We’ll come pick you up from the platform tomorrow. I can’t wait to hear all the stories you have for me.
You’re probably wondering why I sent you my watch. Well, your mother insisted that you should wear a nice watch to the ball. Apparently, it’s a muggle thing. I convinced her when you turned thirteen to wait till you were seventeen to gift you your own watch, but I didn’t think I was going to win this battle. And honestly, I liked the idea of you wearing my watch to the ball.
Your mother gave me this watch for our first anniversary many, many years ago. It’s still one of my most prized possessions, so please take care of it. I know you will, I have full faith in you. The watch is also a lucky charm of mine. It’s not actually charmed in any way, but I like to wear it on important occasions, to remember that your mum is always by my side. I figured, if you inherited my horrible flirting skills, you’ll need all the luck you could get. And a reminder that you’re your mother’s son through and through. Everyone loved your mother, and hopefully, you inherited her conversational skills instead of mine. Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked.
Good luck with Katie! I know how long you’ve fancied her, and you’re going to be really nervous. But I wanted to remind you. Be yourself. I know Padfoot is going to give you a lot of advice, most of which you probably should ignore. But the person that Katie agreed to go to the ball with is Harry Potter, not a clone of Sirius Black or James Potter. Don’t worry, I haven’t told your mum that you fancy Katie. If I know her at all, and I do, she’d give the same advice. Maybe she’d say worse things about me and Sirius, but regardless. I understand why you didn’t tell her though. I imagine she would start planning your wedding then and there. You know how much she adores Katie. Just so you know, if and when she finds out about the two of you, I’m throwing you under the bus.
Anyway, I’m sure you’ll have a great time, Harry. You’ve got this! I love you kiddo, and I’m so proud of you.
Love,
Dad
P.S. Sorry, Harry, I’ve never succeeded at controlling my hair. If you find a way, let me know.
P.P.S. Your mum is sending a corsage made of flowers from our garden this afternoon. Minnie will make sure that it gets to you.
Harry looked at the watch with newfound reverence. He closed the case, then gingerly stowed it in his pocket. He wondered when Professor McGonagall would drop the corsage off at his room. He also wondered whether Katie would like the corsage. He glanced up at her.
Her face was pale as a sheet, and she held her letter with trembling hands.
“Katie?” At his sound, her eyes snapped to him, and Harry nearly physically recoiled at the barely restrained tears in them. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine,” she croaked out. Then she folded the note with trembling hands and fled the Great Hall.
Angelina, who was sitting next to Katie, told him that the letter was from Katie’s father. Katie’s mum had just gotten him to sign their divorce papers. She had given him full custody over their children and didn’t even bother with visitation rights. Katie’s family had been irreparably torn apart.
He sprinted up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower. Entering the common room, he found Katie sitting alone in a corner, staring at the letter.
“Katie?”
She looked up at him with empty eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He sat down next to her.
“What are you doing here?” Her voice was steady but devoid of any emotion. That hurt him more than any anger or sadness she could’ve thrown at him.
“Angelina told me about your parents. I wanted to see if I could do anything to help,” Harry said. Katie gave him a hollow smile.
“I’m alright. Or at least, I will be.”
“Are you sure? If you’re not feeling up to it, we could skip the ball.”
“No. I’ll come to the ball with you.” She gave him a weak smile. It was small. Fragile. He felt it would break and disappear with even the slightest provocation. But it was genuine, and he was heartened by it.
“Because it’s completely fine with me if you don’t want to go. I could get you something from the kitchens or –”
“Harry, do you not want to go to the ball with me?” Katie raised an eyebrow at him.
“No, of course I do.”
“Then let’s go to the ball together. I want to go with you,” Katie gave him a stronger smile, though it didn’t entirely reach her eyes. “I just need a moment to get myself under control. I’ll be fine, okay?”
Harry nodded, still feeling like he could be doing more to help. But he was at a loss for what to do. Katie nodded at him, then went up the stairs to her dorm. Harry stayed in the common room, trying to snuff out the feeling of foreboding that clung to his thoughts.
That evening, Harry stood in front of the mirror for what felt like the millionth time. He had his dress robes on. Over a simple white shirt, he wore charcoal-coloured Acromantula silk robes that glimmered crimson in the light – courtesy of some fancy charmwork from his mum. His mother had insisted on a pale gold tie, something about matching with Katie.
His dad had mentioned in a letter that he thought Harry’s robes looked like he was on fire. “But in a good way,” he insisted.
His dad’s watch glittered on his wrist. He patted down his hair, pulling at it with a comb, but it lay still for less than a minute before becoming the rat’s nest that it always was. The corsage lay on his bed. He was fully dressed for the dance, but fiddling with his hair was an effective distraction from his nerves.
Katie was a prominent character in his overthinking. He was excited to spend the evening with her, while also anxious that he would step on her feet or something equally embarrassing. Her hollow gaze from that morning also frequented his thoughts, and concern over her well-being squeezed his heart.
“You ready to go down, mate?” Ron stuck his head into the bathroom, chuckling as Harry made a last-ditch effort to pat his hair down.
“Yeah, I think this is a lost cause anyway.” Harry tossed the comb onto his bed and picked up the box with the corsage. Once more, he read the note his mum had included.
Remember, the corsage goes on the left wrist. I love you, my darling boy. Happy Christmas. Have fun. ~Mum
He placed the note in the breast pocket of his shirt and closed the box. He gestured to Ron, who was standing by the door, and the two of them left their dorm. Harry spotted Seamus, Dean, and Neville, his other roommates, sitting by the fire. He dropped into an empty chair. His fingers dug into the box in his hands. His gaze kept flitting to the staircase that led to the girls' dormitories.
Angelina and Alicia walked past him with Fred and George. The chasers gave him a thumbs-up as they passed. He took it as a sign that Katie hadn’t just run away. She was probably just fiddling with her makeup or something. At least, that was what he tried to convince himself was the case.
Neville had left with Ginny, and Ron, Seamus, and Dean were getting antsy, so Harry told them to go without him. Harry had just looked down at his watch when he heard a rustling sound from the girls’ dormitories. He looked up and saw Katie walking down the stairs.
She wore a shimmering gold dress. The dress was sleeveless but she had a black leather jacket draped over her shoulders. The gold dress hugged her body, then flared out at the waist. Small glass beads adorned the sleeves and neckline, making her sparkle in the firelight. Harry was reminded vaguely of a character from a Disney movie his mum had taken him out to watch when he was eleven. The character’s name escaped him for a moment, then he looked at Katie’s face, and then it came to him. His lip curled at the irony. Katie Bell looked like Belle.
He must’ve been staring, because Katie blushed slightly. She smiled at him when he approached her.
“You look… wow. Stunning,” Harry stumbled through his words. His hands fumbled with the box, and he pulled out the corsage. The corsage was made primarily of sunflowers. Harry thought it fit, with how she looked like sunlight personified.
“What’s that?” Katie asked curiously, peering down at the bundle of flowers.
“It’s a corsage. You wear it on your left wrist,” Harry pulled the ribbons so that he could tie it. “It’s a muggle tradition. Mum said boys gave it to their dates to wear with their dresses. I told Mum that you said to wear something that complemented gold, so she made this.”
“Your mum made this? For me?” Katie held out her hand and Harry tied the corsage to her wrist. “It’s beautiful.”
“I’ll tell her you said that. I’m sure she’ll be pleased,” Harry grinned. “But yes, she picked the flowers from our garden back home.”
“That’s so sweet, thanks Harry.” She wrapped her arms around him, and his nose was invaded by the scent of vanilla and lemon. She stepped back, and Harry held out his arm.
“Shall we, Miss Bell?”
“Lead the way, Mister Potter.” She wrapped her arm around his, and they left the common room.
In hindsight, there were signs. Katie didn’t tease him or banter with him the entire night. She never even started a conversation. If he asked her a question or pointed out something funny, she would participate like usual, but the wit that he was so fond of was missing the entire night. And when she looked him in the eye, he saw a whirlwind of emotions. But the one that shone the clearest on her face was an all consuming conflict that demanded her attention.
Harry had been so lost in the moment that he hadn’t noticed.
They left the Great Hall early. Katie said she was tired – it had been a long day for her after all. So, they walked up the many staircases. Harry helped her avoid the trick steps in her heels, offering his hand to her whenever she needed it. At one point, he just didn’t let go, so they were holding hands when they crossed into the common room.
The common room was empty. All the upper years were at the ball, and the few younger students who stayed at the castle for the holidays were already asleep. A fire crackled at the hearth, illuminating the room in a warm glow. Harry looked at Katie. Her golden dress reflected the fire, and the air around her shimmered and sparkled with reflected light.
She looked positively divine.
She caught him looking and smirked at him. “Like what you see, Harry?”
“Yeah,” Harry spoke, his voice thick with an emotion that he couldn’t place. “You’re amazing. I don’t think I can say it enough.”
“Thank you,” she beamed, then ran her fingers along the petals on her corsage. “And this corsage is gorgeous, I can’t get over the fact that your mum made this for me. Thanks, Harry. For the corsage, and tonight. I had so much fun.” Her voice too was full of emotion.
Suddenly, Harry was aware of how close she was standing to him. He looked into her eyes. Within her eyes, Harry saw the light of a million stars. The feeling was akin to staring directly into the sun. It was overwhelming, but he simply couldn’t look away. He felt her breath on his face, and he could count each freckle on her nose. She gazed at him with a subtle intensity. Her eyes blazed with an indescribable emotion, that challenged and invited him all at once. His eyes flit down to her lips. He really wanted to kiss her.
“What are you waiting for?” She whispered.
“Huh?”
“Kiss me, you idiot.”
Harry obliged. Every neuron in Harry’s body fired all at once. He felt the softness of her lips from the edges of his hair to the tips of his toes. Goosebumps broke out all over his neck as her hands snaked their way over his shoulders. His arms found her waist and pulled her flush against him. There were no sparks, fireworks, or grand gestures. Everything just felt right.
And just like that, it was over. She pulled back and stepped away from him. Harry’s breath felt heavy, and he felt unbelievably cold without her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around herself, and Harry imagined she felt the same. She stared at the ground, and Harry felt the familiar feeling of foreboding settle in his gut. When Katie finally met his gaze, her face was clouded. Emotions flitted across her face faster than Harry could process them. The only thing that remained constant was the conflict.
For a moment, she looked like she would run back into his arms. Then the moment passed, and her arms locked to her sides. She mumbled something along the lines of ‘good night’ before running up the staircase. She left Harry alone in the common room, a little confused by what had just happened, and feeling like everything had gone so wrong.
Six years later, a twenty-year-old Harry Potter sat across from twenty-one-year-old Katie Bell in the small living room of a refurbished Shrieking Shack. James Potter had bought the old building from Hogwarts and had renovated the entire place. He still allowed Hogwarts to use the building for any students with Lycanthropy, but he believed that even werewolves deserved to hole up in a nice house. An illusion and repulsion wards took care of the outer appearance and repelled any thrill-seeking students.
Harry and Katie made casual conversation as they waved their wands, using cutting curses and vanishing spells to carve into pumpkins.
“Why are we using cutting curses? Why can’t I just transfigure it how I want?” Katie looked him from over her pumpkin. Harry reached over and flicked off a bit of pulp that was on her nose.
“Because that’s part of the fun.”
“But I’ve never done this before,” Katie pouted at him. “Mine’s going to look terrible.”
“That’s also part of the fun.” Harry grinned, dodging a piece of pumpkin that Katie flicked at him. “I’m done, by the way.”
“Yeah, show off to the first timer, why don’t you,” Katie grumbled. Her glare was ruined by her poorly concealed smile.
A few minutes later, Katie let out a sound of satisfaction. Harry watched her slice away at her pumpkin, her wand motions getting quicker the closer she got to completion. She flicked her wand a little too wide and cut her left hand, which she was using to steady the pumpkin. She let out a yelp as a thin cut appeared on her left wrist.
“Katie!” Harry was instantly by her side. He held her hand gingerly, looking at it with concern. “You alright?”
“It’s just a cut, Harry,” Katie waved her wand over her injured hand, and the wound knit itself back together without leaving so much as a blemish. “Even a trainee healer can handle a tiny cut.”
Harry was only half paying attention. Holding her left hand up like this reminded him of the last time he had done such a thing. The memory of tying a sunflower corsage flashed in his mind, and he shook his head. Once again, he had to beat down the old memories and feelings that he couldn’t afford to let resurface. Still holding her hand, Harry looked up to see her staring back at him.
Suddenly, Harry was aware of how close the two of them were. He shot backwards, retreating to his seat. He cleared his throat awkwardly. She looked around the room, taking a moment so both could regain their bearings.
“I’m done carving,” she broke the silence.
“Nice, turn on three?” He tapped the candle inside his pumpkin, setting it aflame. “One, two three. Voila!”
He spun his pumpkin around, looking at hers. She had carved onto her pumpkin a boy with glasses and messy hair that was painted black. “Hey, we weren’t allowed to use colours. You cheated!” Harry exclaimed as he stared at the carving of himself. It was roughly carved, and there were many scratch lines where she’d overestimated her spells, but it was still clearly him. She looked at him, before tapping her wand to the candle inside the pumpkin, and the flame turned an emerald green that vaguely reminded him of floo travel. The emerald flames glowed softly through the eyes and mouth of the carving.
“Why do I have green teeth?” Harry grinned. Focusing on the teeth was easier than focusing on his warring emotions and the tightening in his chest.
“Remember that time in fifth year? Fred got me to slip you some prank candy,” Katie giggled, her eyes glazed over as she relived a memory from her fifth year – his fourth. “You went to Potions with green teeth and lost so many points. You told me that when Snape asked why your teeth were green, you said you had a Leprechaun for breakfast and that he should try it.”
“I said it might make his breath stink less,” Harry smiled fondly. “I remember. That was the last day before the winter hols, so I got off without even getting detention.”
“What’s yours? Some kind of flower?” Katie squinted. “Yours is so much nicer than mine.”
“It’s a corsage. I wanted to make one of you, and this was the first thing that came to mind.”
Katie’s smile faded. “Harry, I –”
“Katie, it’s alright. It was a long time ago. I –” Harry opened his mouth to say, moved on. But the words died in his throat. He closed his mouth. “I’m sorry, I should’ve picked something else. I wasn’t thinking.”
Harry had been so lost in his memories that he hadn’t realized what he was making until he finished it. The afterimage of that night burned his eyes, and when he gazed at the carving, all he could see was the real thing. The way her fingers caressed the petals, the way it looked against her skin. The smile on her face when he tied it to her hand. He shut his eyes, trying to block out the memories.
How he hated reliving that night. It hurt to imagine what could have been. It hurt to see her push him away. It hurt to see the hollow look in her eyes. It hurt most of all, that he still associated that night with happiness, despite all that had happened the next morning.
A fourteen-year-old Harry Potter woke up from a restless sleep. He glanced at the muggle alarm clock on his nightstand. It was half-past-nine. He had an hour and a half left before the Hogwarts Express took him home for the holidays. He fell out of bed, feeling sweatier than usual. He felt the way the dress robes he had worn the previous night clung to his skin. That reminded him of the events of the previous night. He had been so lost after Katie had left, that he had immediately collapsed in bed, without even bothering to remove his outer robe, let alone the shirt and tie he wore underneath.
He stripped off the sweat-soaked garments and stepped into the bathroom. He was already fully packed, so once he stuffed the robes and his toiletry into his trunk, he’d be good to go. That gave him an hour to find and talk to Katie. He convinced himself that it was all a misunderstanding. She had been so surprised by the kiss that she had run away in embarrassment. Yes, that had to be it. When he talked to her this morning, she’d apologize for running off then they could talk things out. If he was lucky, he might even get a repeat performance.
Harry stepped out of the shower and got dressed in a sweater and jeans – he decided he could get away with more comfortable muggle clothes today. He shoved his robes into his trunk, sitting on the lid to force it shut. He looked at the alarm clock on the sleeping Neville’s nightstand. It wasn’t even ten yet, he had time. He went down to the common room, hoping to see Katie there.
The common room was empty, so Harry went down to the Great Hall for breakfast. The elves would bring his trunk to the train, so he had no reason to go back up to the tower. If he couldn’t find Katie in the Great Hall, he was sure he’d find her on the Hogwarts Express.
Katie wasn’t in the Great Hall. Harry sat down next to Hermione, who greeted him sleepily. Most of the attendees of the Yule Ball had stayed up much later than Harry and Katie had. He picked at a piece of toast.
The doors opened and Alicia and Angelina dragged Katie in. They seemed unaware that anything was off and chalked up Katie’s funk to the news of her parents’ divorce hitting harder now that the ball was over. The chaser trio sat down at the end of the table, right next to the door. Harry watched Katie from his seat. Hermione gave him a knowing smirk and left him be. He was grateful for that, even though he was confident his best friend had misinterpreted his staring.
Katie didn’t even pretend to eat. She just stared at her plate with a blank face. She gave one-word responses to any questions that the other, chattier chasers asked her. He saw her mumble an excuse and get up and leave.
Harry stood up abruptly, nearly tripping on the bench. “See you on the train,” he mumbled to Hermione, still staring as Katie’s blonde hair disappeared out the door. He nearly sprinted to the door.
“Katie!” He yelled at her retreating figure. She froze for a moment, then turned around.
“Hi, Harry,” she smiled at him but her eyes remained hollow. “Have a good sleep last night?”
“Solid,” he lied, standing before her. He ran his hands through his hair reflexively. “You?”
“Alright,” she said. Harry didn’t think he believed her if the dark circles under her eyes were anything to go by. “Angelina came to my dorm last night. Wouldn’t stop talking about Fred’s kissing skills. I was terrified to sleep because I thought they’d appear in my dreams.”
She grinned at him, shuddering. Still, the smile never reached her eyes. A beat passed, and Harry felt the air was so thick with tension that he couldn’t move.
“So, about last night…” Harry cut through the awkward silence. Somehow, the tension increased.
“Harry. I – I think it’s best if we pretended last night never happened.”
Harry’s heart felt like it had just been transfigured into stone. It weighed deep in his chest, and a sharp pain shot through his lungs. “What? Did I do something wrong? Why –”
“You didn’t do anything wrong Harry. You were wonderful. It's complicated. I – Look, I have to pack still, and the train leaves soon,” Katie smiled apologetically. “Let’s just pretend nothing happened last night. I’m sorry. Have a good holiday.”
She turned and walked away from him. He stood there for a few moments, speechless. He felt like every inch of skin on his body had frozen over. He didn’t fully understand what had just happened, but he knew one thing. As Katie left Harry alone in the Entrance Hall, the only thing he knew was that everything had gone so wrong.
Six years later, a twenty-year-old Harry Potter sat across from a twenty-one-year-old Katie Bell, who was staring at him apologetically. “Why?” He croaked.
Why did you walk away? Why did you think we could pretend like everything was fine? Why did you think I wasn’t enough? Why did you kiss me and leave me with hope, just to drown me the next morning?
“Sorry?”
“Why did you leave?” Harry asked. His voice grew stronger as he let the floodgates open. All the hurt, all the pain. All the tears he had shed from the depths of his room. All the late-night conversations where his dad held him as he asked the same questions over and over. Why was I not enough? Three years of seeing her every day. Of pretending that it didn’t hurt him every time she looked at him. Like her gaze didn’t burn him like a vampire to sunlight. Like pretending he wasn't a moth drawn to her sunlight anyway. Six years of pushing the pain away in the name of moving on came out in a moment, and he felt his vision blur as tears built up. “Was I not enough? Was there someone else? Why did you kiss me if you didn’t want anything to come of it? Was it just a game all along?”
Katie just stared at him, horrified. Her eyes filled with tears, and he hated how much it hurt him to see her in tears. He hated himself for how much he hated it. He wanted to feel some sort of satisfaction from her pain. She had inflicted so much pain onto him for so long, was it not fair that he return the favour? Then why did he feel so horrible? Why did he still love her? After all this time.
Why?
Because you’re a good person. A voice that sounded suspiciously like his mother.
Because we raised you to love, not to hate. He could almost hear his father.
“I’m sorry.”
Harry snapped out of his thoughts. The tears were flowing freely down his cheeks. Katie sat across from him with wet cheeks of her own.
“I was – I was scared,” Katie breathed deep. “I didn’t want to lose you. I thought – If we got together, and if we fought and broke up, then I would lose you. Like my parents. They still haven’t spoken since the divorce, you know? Mum still hasn’t done more than send me and Livvy letters, Dad doesn’t even get that much from her.”
Harry was frozen. His eyes were wide as he listened to Katie speak through her tears.
“Then I realised that in trying to protect myself, I hurt you. By then, it was too late.” Katie hung her head in shame. “Then I graduated, and I thought, if I stopped writing you, you’d forget me and move on. It hurt so much to do it. But then again, I deserved that and more after all I put you through, didn’t I?”
Katie let out a hollow, painful laugh that sounded of self-hatred.
“It’s ironic, isn’t it? I was so afraid of losing you, that I made the decisions that led me to lose you in the first place.”
“I’m so sorry, Harry. You deserved so much more than me. You deserve someone who’ll love you, not someone who’s going to act out of fear of getting hurt. Some Gryffindor I am.” Katie scoffed. “But I want you to know. It was always real. You were more than enough. More than I deserved. There was no one else but you and I don’t know if there ever will be. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I wanted to be with you, but then I got scared, and I made a mistake.”
Katie paused, and her shoulders slumped. She looked so tired and despite himself, Harry felt a pang as her face fell with resignation.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and I’m not going to ask for it. I just want you to know. It wasn’t a game or a prank. I was just a coward. And I regret it every day.” She let out a watery laugh. “Alicia and Angelina didn’t speak to me for a month after I told them what I did.”
Harry suddenly felt a surge of affection for his former teammates. He made a mental note to write them after all this was over.
Katie shifted in her seat and stared at him. He wanted to yell, scream, cry, something. But all he could do was sit in shocked silence, after hearing the answers he had been searching for the better part of six years.
I hate her. He tried to think. The thought felt wrong. Foreign.
Lies. The fourteen-year-old Harry spoke in his mind.
I do. She’s put me through so much. I need to hate her. It’s the only way. He pleaded, but he could feel his resolve slipping.
If you hate her so much then why do her tears cause you more pain than her leaving ever did?
Harry sat frozen in his seat. All he saw was the mascara running down Katie’s cheeks.
Katie looked defeated. She didn’t know what she had thought would happen when she exposed her guilt and regrets to him, but complete silence wasn’t it. She stood and picked up her coat. She gave him one last look and took a step away from the table. Harry mumbled something and she turned around.
“What was that?”
“I forgive you.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
“Harry…” Katie paused. “I don’t deserve it. What I did was horrible. I can’t forgive myself for that.”
“And what? You’re going to make up for that by walking away from me again?” Harry stood up. She recoiled as if he had struck her. His legs felt like they had been struck with a Jelly-Legs jinx, but he forced them towards her. “Maybe you don’t deserve it, but I can’t help it. I can’t help but care about you. I can’t help but want you in my life.”
“I just got you back, and I’m not losing you again.” Harry’s face was taut with determination. He wiped his eyes as the infamous Evans tenacity reared its head. Harry’s emerald eyes blazed with passion, looking every bit the son of Lily Potter. “I want to give this another try. Maybe I’m stupid for this, but I don’t really care. All I want, all I’ve ever wanted is you. And I’m sick of lying to myself that that isn’t true.”
Harry pulled Katie into his arms and hugged her tight, willing her to never leave again. She sobbed into his neck, but her arms remained firmly against her sides. Her guilt warred with the desire for the companionship she’d denied herself many years ago.
For a moment, she looked like she would run away, and Harry began to pull back. Then, the moment passed, and she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tighter than ever before. The two old friends cried in each other’s arms. Both in mourning for what could have been, and in grateful relief that they had gotten their second chance. A chance that most did not ever get. A chance to do things right. For them, lightning had struck twice. And they both vowed silently that they would capture it and never let it slip again.
Harry pulled back slightly. He stared into the red-rimmed eyes that he had fallen in love with so long ago. Her eyes shone a bright golden, just like he remembered. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. “I waited six years for this.”
“What are you waiting for then?” Katie smiled at him. Her eyes blazed with an affection he now recognised, inviting him and challenging him all at once. “Kiss me, you idiot.”
Harry chuckled. Just like he had six years ago, he obliged her. He could feel her smile against his mouth, and Harry felt that he was right where he belonged. Her arms left his waist and snaked up his chest, coming to rest in his hair and tugging him toward her. Harry squeezed her tighter, trying to convey every emotion that was beyond words. The need to breathe forced them apart, and they grinned at each other.
“You won’t leave?” He asked her softly. She kissed him again and breathed against his lips.
“Never.”
For the first time in six years, everything was just right.
Two years later, a twenty-two-year-old Harry Potter and a twenty-three-year-old Katie Bell apparated into Hogsmeade. They were in the same apparition point as two years prior, hidden behind the dustbins.
Much like they had two years ago, Harry and Katie made idle conversation as they walked the streets of Hogsmeade.
“I’m just saying, Mum and Dad would love to have you over for Christmas,” Harry said. His arm, which was around his girlfriend’s waist, squeezed her a little tighter. “Of course, your dad’s invited. Livvy too. Sometimes I think Dad loves her more than he loves me.”
Katie giggled. “I know, love. But Mum’s coming over. She wanted to spend Christmas with her daughters, but Livvy and I refused to leave Dad alone,” Katie shrugged, frowning a little at the thought of her estranged mother. “It’s going to be awkward enough as is, I wouldn’t want to put your parents through that.”
“I don’t think they would mind. Dad and Sirius would find it entertaining if anything,” Harry kissed Katie on the cheek. “I don’t either, as long you’re there too.”
“Ah yes, let me sicc my mother on your family and spend the hols at Hogwarts,” Katie’s eyes sparkled. “Yeah, I’ll ask Dad and Livvy what they think. I guess Mum too.”
“You’ll be there for the New Year’s Party, though?” Asked Harry.
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I haven’t seen most of the team in so long. Still don’t know how you got Oliver to come,” Katie turned to him and threw her arms loosely around his neck. Then she spoke in a husky voice. “And of course, I want to ring in the New Year the right way.”
“Mmm, I like the sound of that,” Harry whispered. “Can I get a little preview?”
“I don’t know, can you?” Katie whispered before capturing his lips with her own.
A collection of giggles forced them apart. They watched, with burning faces, as a group of teenage girls wearing Hogwarts robes stared as they walked past them. Harry looked back at Katie, and when their eyes met, they doubled over in laughter.
The couple continued their stroll through the village.
“Are we going to the Halloween festival?” Katie looked at him curiously.
“Yeah, I thought it’d be fun,” Harry searched for the Apple-Bobbing stall he had wanted to go to the last time he had been at the festival, exactly two years ago. “Can we go Apple-Bobbing? I wanted to last time, but we ran into Livvy, and I forgot.”
“What exactly about putting your face underwater and fishing for whole apples with your mouth is entertaining to you?” Katie looked sceptically at the group of people crowded around one such person. He came out of the water, somehow holding two small apples in his mouth at once, to raucous cheers from the crowd surrounding him. “I mean, look at that! That water must be freezing, it’s basically November!”
“We’re in a magical town, love. I’m sure they have warming charms on the barrels.”
Katie huffed. “If you want to, go ahead. I’ll be here, waiting to say, ‘I told you so’ when you get sick.”
“Well, if I get sick, I know I have my beautiful healer girlfriend to nurse me back to health.” Harry kissed the top of her head. Katie looked away from him, hiding the pleased look on her face.
Harry approached the vendor as the crowd dissipated. Harry nodded at the vendor, whose eyes lit with recognition upon seeing him. Harry told the vendor that it was just him playing, and the older man gestured to a barrel whose surface was filled with floating apples.
Harry surveyed the apples as they drifted lazily in the water. All the apples save for one were bright red, and Harry wondered if they were charmed to have such vivid colours. Among the red, a singular golden apple floated toward him. He looked at Katie, who smirked at him and gestured at the barrel. Before he stuck his head in the water, Katie quickly reached out and plucked his glasses off his face. He smiled gratefully at her blurry outline before plunging into the water, jaw unhinged like a basilisk.
With his blurry vision, he found it difficult to distinguish between the different fruits, so he aimed for the golden apple – the only one that stood out to him. His first dive was a miss, and water splashed into his face as the apples bobbed away from him. He adjusted the angle before leaning forward again. Again, he missed the mark and felt the water soak his head down to the roots of his hair. Teeth chattering, Harry took a third dive and this time, his teeth found purchase and the sweet taste of apple filled his mouth.
Filled with satisfaction, Harry grinned as he straightened out, apple still in his mouth. Katie laughed at the look of childish glee on his face before she waved her wand and a gust of warm air dried off his hair, face, and shirt.
Harry leaned toward her with the apple still clenched in his mouth. She smiled and leaned back. Harry’s arm went around her waist to hold her as she leaned further and further back. Then, she leaned forward and kissed the apple. Harry made a noise of outrage before his free hand shot up and plucked the apple out of his mouth.
“Hey! That’s my girlfriend,” he glared at the apple in his hand while Katie giggled in his arms. “Only I get kisses from her.”
Her giggles turned into full-blown laughter, and his mouth curved unwittingly at the sound. Arm still around her waist, Harry placed a galleon in the old vendor’s hand before strolling off.
“Ugh, my jaw hurts from biting that apple for so long,” Harry rubbed his sore joint. Katie turned and kissed him on the jaw.
“Better?” she teased.
“Oh no! I think my lips are bruised too!” Harry said in a singsong voice. Katie laughed and pressed a kiss to her index finger before pressing her finger against his lips.
“Shush, you.” She grinned at him, and he pouted against her finger.
The couple strolled further into the festival, just enjoying the merry atmosphere. Hogwarts students roamed the stalls in droves, creating a pleasant backdrop of laughter and excited chatter. A few students – probably muggleborns – had set up a small band under an ash tree. Harry cheered as a guitarist nailed a particularly nasty guitar solo. The normally sleepy Hogsmeade was awash with energy and a tired Harry and Katie just basked in it after long days at work.
“Harry, look!” Katie pointed at an orchard a small way to their left. “Pumpkins! D’you want to do some pumpkin carving?”
They strolled over to the orchard, and a few minutes later, walked out with a pumpkin the size of Harry’s torso. Harry placed a stasis charm on the vegetable before shrinking it and dropping it in his pocket. He looked at his girlfriend, “To the Shack then?”
“Just like last time?”
“That’s the point, yeah.”
“Harry,” Katie paused. “Are you recreating our first date?”
“Took you this long to figure that out?” Harry teased. “I hope you’re faster at discovering patient diagnoses, for their sake.”
Katie stuck her tongue out at him. Harry kissed it. Katie blushed fiercely and smacked him on the arm. “Harry!” She hissed with narrow eyes. He only laughed in response.
“That’s why we met at the Cauldron instead of just meeting at Hogsmeade?” She looked at him inquisitively.
“Yup, I was considering ordering whatever other drink you ordered that night, but I couldn’t remember the name,” Harry winced at the reminder of the not-Butterbeer. “Plus, I didn’t want to put myself through that again.”
“Commit to the bit Mister Potter.” She shook her head in mock disappointment. Harry rolled his eyes.
Harry and Katie approached the door to the Shrieking Shack. Harry placed his hand on the doorknob, and the door swung open automatically. Walking in, Harry unshrunk the pumpkin and placed it on the coffee table.
“What do you want to carve?” Harry asked, dropping unceremoniously on the couch. He sighed happily as his muscles relaxed, especially when he felt Katie curl up into his side. “Actually, do we even have to do anything? I’m honestly happy to just sit like this.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and she snuggled in closer.
“If we sit like this any longer, I’m going to fall asleep,” Katie said reluctantly, though she didn’t move from her position tracing circles on his shirt. “You planned out all of this, so we should probably follow through, right?”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Harry groaned, sitting up and already missing the warmth in his side as Katie peeled away from him. “So, what are we making?”
An hour later, Harry put his wand away and nodded approvingly at his finished pumpkin, before lighting the candle inside. He looked down to his left, where Katie was snoring lightly on the couch. He loathed to wake her, Merlin knew she needed all the sleep she could get, what with her insane Healer schedules. But he also knew she would beat herself up if he didn’t. After the six years they had lost, Katie hated missing any important moments in their lives. So, Harry gently shook her awake.
Her eyelids fluttered open, and the golden irises he had fallen in love with looked back at him. Her eyes were full of drowsiness and confusion when she woke, but as soon as her hazel met his emerald, her gaze flooded with such affection that his chest felt unbearably warm.
“Had a nice nap, darling?” Harry grinned as her brain recovered from her sleep-addled state.
“What time is it? How long was I out?” She looked around for a clock, and her gaze landed on the pumpkin. “Did you finish the pumpkin – IS THAT ME?” She stared at the carved pumpkin. Etched and carved into the giant pumpkin was Katie. It was inspired by the morning they had spent together on the terrace. He had omitted the tear tracks that he remembered so vividly, but she looked exactly like she had that morning, down to the collar of the healer’s robes she had been wearing. Where her eyes would have been, candlelight poked through the holes, making them glow against the roaring fireplace like twin suns.
He had captured, to the best of his ability, the moment that she had woken to the sunrise. That moment that played over and over in his mind when he closed his eyes. The moment that prompted the biggest decision of his life.
When she fell asleep, he had barely started carving, so he used a mending charm to reverse his progress and started a new project.
“There’s no way you made all this by yourself,” Katie commented, leaning forward and tracing the engraved lines of her face.
“I might’ve used a teensy bit of transfiguration,” Harry admitted, not even looking sheepish. “And a lot of modified rune engraving charms.”
“Cheater,” she grinned at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. She looked closer. “Is there something on the back?” She walked around to the back of the pumpkin and gasped.
“I was reading about Ancient Greek wizards for a case, and I found this interesting tradition they had,” Harry stood up and smirked at her shocked face, silently willing his frantic heart to steady itself. He pulled the golden apple out of his pocket. “In ancient Greece, if you wanted to propose to someone, you’d throw them an apple. If they caught it, that was considered a yes.”
Katie stared at him, slack-jawed. Next to her, the lit pumpkin glowed softly. Tears flowed freely on her face, and her eyes, reflecting the candlelight, were filled with that same blazing look he had grown to love. Her molten gold irises steadied his nerves and gave him the strength to push forward. Her gaze was as challenging as ever. And as always, Harry rose to meet it.
Carved into the back of the pumpkin, in large, loopy letters were the words, MARRY ME?
“So, Katie Bell, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?” He tossed her the apple. His heart was in his throat as the fruit soared through the air. For a moment, Harry was afraid Katie would, in her surprise, fumble the catch. Then her chaser reflexes kicked in, and her arm shot out and caught the apple. Her eyes never left him the entire time.
“So, is that a yes?” Harry asked hopefully. Katie responded by tackling him onto the couch. She held his face with her free hand and placed rapid kisses on every part of his face she could find. Harry laughed amid the onslaught, letting the nerves leave his body with the sound. Relief settled on him, along with an unbelievable happiness.
“Yes, Harry! Of course!” She kissed him hard on the mouth, and he kissed her back desperately. He tried to convey every feeling, every thought, and every ounce of love that he was experiencing through the kiss. His chest throbbed almost painfully with overwhelming joy.
When they broke apart for breath, he looked at his girlfriend – no – his fiancée. His breath caught when he saw her. Her hair was mussed up from their impromptu snog session. Her makeup was a mess from all the crying. Her eyes seemed to generate their own light as she looked at him. He had never seen her look so beautiful.
He gently shoved her off him and took the apple from her hands. Though she didn’t notice it, the apple had changed when she caught it. It had shrunk and gained a metallic look. Harry held the literal gold apple in his hands, and finding the clasp, pulled it open.
Inside the apple, on a velvet cushion, was a ring. In the centre of the ring was a circular stone of glowing black jade. Around it, yellow sapphires were set in the shape of petals. It had a gold band and an embossed leaf curled along it’s length. The sunflower ring glittered in the firelight. That was why he had picked this ring, it reminded Harry of the way Katie’s eyes would glimmer in the firelight whenever she looked at him.
Harry took the ring off its cushion and slipped it onto a speechless Katie’s hand.
“A reminder that no matter where you are, or how long it has been, I’ll always be searching for you,” he whispered. “I need you like the sun itself. I love you, my Sunflower.”
Katie threw her arms around his neck one more time, hugging him for dear life. He squeezed back, revelling in the moment.
“Flatterer,” she mumbled into his neck.
“I prefer the term honest.” he chuckled into her hair.
All he could see was her golden hair on his face. All he could feel was her warmth clinging to him. All he could hear was her voice saying over and over that she loved him. All he could taste was the sweetness of her lips. And all he could smell was the vanilla and lemon that was so her.
All his senses felt was her. All he knew was her. And now, all of him was hers. And there was no other way he would have it.
Lightning had struck twice, and this time, Harry Potter and Katie Bell had captured it. After eight years of hurt, heartache, and healing old scars, Harry could finally say with absolute certainty that everything had gone right.
All was well.
Chapter Text
Twenty-two-year-old Harry Potter woke up unable to move. His body was held down to the bed by a pyjama-clad arm and leg draped over him. He smiled fondly as light snoring filled the room. He shifted slightly, facing his fast-asleep fiancée.
He drank in every feature on the twenty-three-year-old Katie Bell’s face. Soon to be Potter, he thought giddily. Her expression was peaceful, unblemished by stress or worry and free of all the weight of being a healer.
Increasingly often, he found himself wondering how he’d gotten so lucky.
“Your breath stinks,” she mumbled in her sleep.
How lucky indeed.
“Love you too,” he kissed her forehead. A smile appeared on her face, and she mumbled something incoherent.
Harry extricated himself from the bed, careful not to wake her. Merlin knew she needed the sleep. She’d come home from work at three in the morning, working overtime to get the holidays off. He’d tried to stay up and wait for her but had passed out on the couch. In his defence, he’d chased down a former Quidditch player turned illegal dragon dealer. That man could run.
Heading out of the bedroom, Harry yawned and stretched gingerly. He brushed his teeth in the small bathroom in his flat, accidentally knocking over one of Katie’s skincare potions. He put it back in its place just to knock over another. Using both hands this time, he gingerly stacked all the boxes and bottles in their corner, breathing only once they were all safely tucked away.
The numerous products Katie kept in their bathroom were the only real challenge they faced when she moved in with him last month. They were content to share a closet (though most of the clothes were hers) and Katie thought his small living room was rather cosy. And they hadn’t had any problems with sharing a bathroom.
If they both wanted to shower at the same time – well, let’s just say neither of them had to wait and leave it at that.
With clean teeth and dirty thoughts, Harry walked into the kitchen and turned on the stove. He pulled some bacon, eggs, and veggies out of the freezer, defrosting the former with a flick of his wand. He hummed a jaunty tune as he popped some into the pan.
Some fifteen minutes later, Harry was just letting the bacon finish up when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist.
“Good morning,” Harry said cheerily, lifting the corner of the bacon impatiently.
“Morning,” Katie mumbled into his shoulder. Her hair was tied back haphazardly, and when she blinked, her eyes stuck together a fraction too long.
Harry turned around and wrapped his arms around her, careful not to touch her oversized t-shirt (that was probably his) with the spatula still in his hands.
“You should go back to bed, love,” he said warmly. “We don’t need to be at Mum and Dad’s till after noon, and I can always make you something to eat later.”
“Maybe,” she mumbled into his chest. “I couldn’t sleep properly last night, and I couldn’t go back to sleep this morning either.”
“Rough day at work?” Harry asked, rocking her slowly in his arms.
“Yeah,” she said. “Bloody patient refused to get treated by me ‘cause she thought I was muggleborn.”
“That bint sounds stupid for several reasons,” Harry chuckled. “If you’re going to be a bigot, at least be accurate about it.”
“Right? Turns out she went to school with dad; recognised my last name,” Katie snorted. “She thought I must take after my mother.”
She grimaced. “Apparently, I have the ‘look of a lowborn.’”
“Bullshit,” Harry said stoutly, and Katie smiled up at him. “You’re stunning, Sunflower.”
She squeezed him a little tighter. Then she sniffed, and Harry thought she looked adorable with her scrunched-up nose until the smell wafted over to him as well. He cursed as he turned around and scraped the bacon off the pan hastily.
“A little burnt, but still edible, methinks,” he poked the crispy meat with the spatula. It crackled delightfully.
“I reckon, yeah,” Katie perched up on the countertop, legs dangling over the edge as she plucked a strip of bacon off the plate and popped it in her mouth.
“Tastes fine,” she said through the mouthful. Harry began levitating the dishes to the little breakfast table in the corner, but Katie waved him off. “Don’t bother, let’s just eat here. This is our house, who cares about propriety?”
He raised an eyebrow. “And where will I be sitting?”
“You can stand,” she grinned.
“Cheeky minx, you,” he grumbled playfully, reaching into the cupboard for some clean plates.
“You love me anyway.”
“Damn straight.”
One filling meal and food coma later, Harry and Katie buzzed about their bedroom, getting ready to go to Harry’s childhood home in Godric’s Hollow.
“Harry, can you help me with this pin?” Katie called from the dresser.
“Coming!” Harry yelled from the bathroom. He half-jogged in wearing a pair of jeans, displaying his bare, narrow chest to the world. “What d’you need help with?”
“Just this safety pin back here,” she tapped her upper back. “The sweater’s a tad big, can you just pull it a little tighter?”
He complied to the best of his ability, earning a smile through the mirror. “Thanks, love.”
He nodded, turning to head back to the bathroom. Katie gasped.
“Harry, what’s on your back?” She turned around and saw a large purple bruise between Harry’s shoulder blades. “You’re hurt! Where’d you get this?”
Harry winced.
“It’s nothing, just work stuff,” he tried but faltered under her stare. “I was chasing this guy, and kind of got knocked out.”
She patted the bed, and he sat down. She pulled out her wand and waved it over his back. Colourful lights and symbols flashed over his injury. “And why didn’t you check in with your team medic?”
“Kingsley burnt his arm,” Harry shrugged, wincing as the motion flared his pain. “Figured he needed the assistance more than me. Plus, I have an amazing healer fiancée; he doesn’t.”
Katie shook her head in exasperation. She pulled a jar of ointment from the dresser and rubbed it over his back. He hissed in relief as the cool gel took the edge off the bruise. “And why didn’t you tell this amazing healer fiancée of yours about this earlier?”
“I was going to, but you looked so tired yesterday,” Harry smiled apologetically as Katie sat beside him. “I didn’t want to pile more on you.”
“Harry, you noble prat,” she glared at him. “I don’t care how tired I am. If you’re hurting, I want you to tell me. What’s the point of having a healer fiancée if you won’t let her heal you?”
He nodded seriously before his lip curled into a smirk. “Well, she looks rather fetching in those healer robes –”
“Nope, we don’t have time for this,” she said, blushing furiously. She shoved him off the bed and shooed him out of the room. “Go get ready quickly, you dolt.”
Harry’s laughter was audible all the way to the bathroom.
Once they were both ready, Harry and Katie took the floo to Potter Cottage in Godric’s Hollow. She landed gracefully on the polished hardwood floor of the floo room in Harry’s childhood home. She stepped aside with practised ease as he tumbled out behind her.
She helped him to his feet, siphoning the soot off their clothes.
“Next time, we’re taking the car,” Harry grumbled.
“Whatever you say, dear,” Katie rolled her eyes. Harry pinched her side, and she yelped. She punched him in the arm, which he shrugged off with an easy grin.
“Not even married yet, and you’re already at each other’s throats? I’m not one for Divination, but this can’t be a good omen,” an older version of Harry leaned against the doorframe and grinned at them, his hazel eyes glinting with mirth.
“Shut up, Dad,” Harry grumbled, hugging his father.
“Don’t talk to your father like that,” Lily Potter said dispassionately from behind her husband. Her fiery red hair was tied in a braid, and despite her words, her green eyes shone with laughter.
Harry pulled his mother into a hug, eliciting a laugh from her. “Didn’t know you missed us that much, Harry.”
He ignored her teasing.
“How’s my favourite daughter-in-law-to-be?" James gave Katie a warm hug. She loved how the Potters never made her feel like she was just Harry’s girlfriend. They really made her feel like one of them – even before she took their name – and she loved it.
“I’m your only daughter-in-law-to-be,” she said dryly, eliciting a chuckle from the older man.
“Still my favourite,” he laughed.
“How do I stack up against Livvy, though?” She grinned.
“Know your limits,” James winked. She laughed loudly. James and Sirius, Harry’s godfather and James’s best friend, absolutely adored Katie’s little sister Livvy. The three were a veritable force of chaos whenever they were in a room together.
The party of four sat down in the living room, holding easy conversation as James levitated over a plate of biscuits and cakes.
“These sugar cookies are incredible, Lily,” Katie gushed. “You’ve got to teach me how to make them.”
“You mean she’s got to teach me how to make them for you,” Harry poked her. She shoved him.
“Shush, you,” she said.
“Yes, dear,” he said with exaggerated timidity. Katie rolled her eyes as James snickered.
“Whipped already?” asked the elder Potter. “Letting your lady boss you around like that?”
“And what’s wrong with that, James?” Lily raised an eyebrow.
“Nothing dear,” he said quickly, and it was Harry’s turn to snicker.
A soft chiming sound from the floo room announced the arrival of more guests. A teenage girl’s voice swore loudly, immediately reprimanded by an older man. Katie’s eyes lit up and she nearly sprinted out of the sitting room.
“Dad!” She ran into her father’s outstretched arms. “How’ve you been?”
“Doing just fine, baby. How’s the new flat treating you?” Edward Bell smiled. He was an older gentleman, with short, dark brown hair flecked with grey at the temples. His warm hazel eyes, which he’d passed down to his eldest daughter, sparkled in complement to his perpetual smile.
“It’s been great,” Katie beamed.
“What am I, chopped liver?” Olivia ‘Livvy’ Bell asked from behind their father. The girl looked like a younger version of Katie. She even wore her sandy blonde hair in the same bob cut Katie’d preferred when she was the same age. The only difference between Livvy and her older sister was that where Katie had their father’s hazel eyes, Livvy inherited their mother’s grey.
“At least chopped liver can be used in potions,” Katie said, hugging her little sister. “You’re just useless.”
“Prat,” Livvy mumbled into her sister’s shoulder. “The house is so quiet with you gone.”
“You’re always welcome to stop by,” Katie said softly. “Just floo over, neither of us will mind.”
“Yeah, and get traumatised by you and Harry shagging in the living room? No thanks,” Livvy shuddered.
“We do not – shut up,” Katie hissed with a bright flush and glanced at her father, who looked mighty nauseous. Livvy snickered.
Harry stuck his head through the doorway. “You guys done with your little reunion? Cause the rest of us are waiting for you in the family room.”
“We’ll be there in a minute love, I just need to lobotomise my brat of a sister real quick,” Katie glared at her sister.
“Harry, help! Katie’s threatening me!”
Harry rolled his eyes. “Knowing you, you probably deserve it. Mr. Bell, would you like to join us or do you want to make sure those two don’t kill each other?”
“How many times do I have to tell you, it’s just Edward, Harry,” he shook his head. “And yes, lead the way. The less I hear of their conversation, the better.”
When Edward and Harry turned the corner, Katie turned to her sister, wringing her hands.
“Katie, is everything all right?” Livvy asked, alarmed by her sister’s sudden change in mood.
“No, everything’s fine. It’s – there’s something I haven’t told anyone yet. Can you keep a secret?”
“Yeah of course,” Livvy nodded, her tone devoid of its earlier humour. “Is it about Harry?”
“Yes? Kind of. It’s not a bad thing, I just don’t know how to tell people. I know Dad will freak out. It’s – I’m,” Katie took a deep breath, but before she could utter the words, the fireplace turned emerald again and a new guest stepped out.
The woman was a veritable clone of Livvy – if a couple of decades older. She smiled easily at Livvy, though her expression faltered at the sight of Katie.
“Mum,” she said neutrally.
Charlotte Irving, formerly Bell, gave her eldest daughter a strained smile.
“Kitty,” she breathed. “You look good – all grown up.”
“Yeah,” Katie swallowed the difficult feelings that welled up at the old nickname. “I’m all grown up.”
No thanks to you. She wanted to say, but didn’t.
“Hey mum,” Livvy embraced her mother, breaking the tension. She led her mother to the family room, looking over her shoulder at a following Katie with an expression that said we’ll talk later.
Katie paused at the doorframe. Her father had his back turned, laughing at something James said. Harry was the first person to notice the three new entries to the room. He looked at Charlotte and Livvy, then at Katie standing awkwardly behind them. He stood up and made a beeline for her. He pulled her into a side room and closed the door behind them.
“Hey,” he looked at her inquisitively. “What’s wrong?”
“I thought it’d be easier,” she said quietly. “It’s been eight years. I imagined it would be different; you know? I thought she’d show up, and I could show her what she missed out on. I’m a successful healer, I’m going to get married – I mean, my life is going great. I thought I could really show her, you know?”
Katie choked back a sob. “I thought I could show her what she missed out on by leaving me behind.”
He wrapped his arms around her, and she sobbed into his neck.
“But when you see her, it’s like you’re fifteen again, reading that letter,” he said. “Right? All the bravado is gone, and all your accomplishments don’t seem like enough because it wasn’t enough to make her stay.”
“Yeah,” she sniffled. “How – how do you know?”
“Because that’s what I felt when I met you again two years ago,” Harry smiled sadly, and Katie frowned at him. “Don’t. Don’t go down that road. We got our happy ending, didn’t we? Maybe there’s one for you and your mum too.”
“Maybe,” she mumbled. “A happy ending, huh? I’d like that.”
He held her for a few moments and she drew strength from his warmth. She pulled away and smiled at him. He kissed the top of her head.
“Ready to go back?” he asked. She nodded.
“How bad is my makeup?” she asked him. He conjured a mirror, and she winced. Her mascara was running, making her look emo as all hell. “Oh, this is unsalvageable.”
“You don’t need it, love,” Harry smiled warmly. He held his wand and looked at her for permission. At her nod, he vanished the ruins of her makeup. “See, just as stunning as always.”
“I put a lot of time into that, you know?” she said sourly. “It's not just about looking good.”
He shrugged helplessly. “Sorry?”
She snorted and led him back into the family room. The group inside had split into three. Edward and Remus were discussing something by the wireless. She imagined it likely had something to do with the Wolfsbane research her father was working on. Livvy, James, and Sirius were plotting something in the corner and Katie had no intention of becoming an unwilling accomplice in their schemes. Lily and Charlotte were sitting by the fireplace, trading stories over a glass of muggle wine.
“Come on,” Harry pulled her toward their mothers. “You might as well bite the bullet. Plus, I want to meet my future mother-in-law.”
She reluctantly followed. The two older ladies smiled at her and Harry as they sat beside them on the settee.
“Harry, right?” Charlotte appraised him before smiling. “I hear you’re marrying my daughter.”
“So, I’ve been told, ma’am,” he grinned. “Sometimes I still wake up and think it’s a dream.”
“Shut up, flatterer,” Katie rolled her eyes. Harry snickered.
“I was just telling your mother,” Lily looked at Katie. “About Harry’s favourite toy broomstick from when he was a little babe.”
“Mum!” He whined. “Don’t embarrass me.”
“I’m your mother, Harry. Embarrassing you is my most important duty,” Lily smirked, and Katie thought she’d seen that exact expression before on Harry’s face before.
“Anyway. When he was a baby – maybe a year old? – he started chasing our cat around the house on his little broom and nearly killed the poor thing. James was watching him while I took a nap, and I woke up to overturned furniture and a furious cat. Thought there was an earthquake, but it was really just Harry and James making a mess.”
Lily shook her head and Katie chortled. “Mind you, the bloody broom barely rose above my waist and wasn’t exactly fast. Still, this little bugger managed to run it right through the telly.”
“I guess I was a Quidditch player from the very beginning,” Harry grinned, trying to save face despite his burning cheeks.
“Guess you should’ve played beater instead of seeker then,” Katie elbowed him. “Considering your penchant for breaking things.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side,” Harry poked her back.
“I’m on the side of entertainment, and right now, Lily is more entertaining than you are.”
“Is that all I am to you,” Harry held his hand to his forehead dramatically. “A piece of meat to be ogled? A pastime to entertain you?”
“Ogle? Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Katie poked him in the stomach. “Is that flab I feel?”
“You’ve seen it firsthand, love. You know it isn’t,” Harry winked, and she flushed. He laughed and tried to hug her, but she shoved him off.
“Geroff me, you crass brute.”
“Aww, and here I was trying to entertain you,” Harry said, pulling Katie onto his lap. She bit his nose. “Ouch what was that for.”
“For embarrassing me in front of our parents,” she said, pulling herself off his lap.
“Oh yeah,” Harry said and looked at Charlotte. “Do you think it’s too late to return her?”
“You’re not returning anyone,” Lily laughed. “I’ve been dreaming of this wedding for ten years. You’re not ruining it for me.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Harry saluted, and Katie mimicked him. Harry kissed her on the cheek.
“What was that for?” she looked at him.
“Reminding myself you’re mine,” he smiled down at her. She pressed her cheek against his.
“Ugh, you two are disgusting,” Livvy flopped onto the settee, draping her legs across Katie and Harry. “At least I’ll have someone to help defend me against Katie.”
“You really think Harry’s going to take your side over mine?” Katie raised an eyebrow.
“Of course he is,” she looked at him. “You are, aren’t you?”
Harry stared between the two glaring Bell sisters like a deer in the headlights. “Uhhh…”
“I think you’ve broken him,” Charlotte laughed. “And Livvy, get off the poor boy, it’s improper.”
Livvy groused and Harry laughed. “It’s fine; what’s propriety among family anyway?”
Livvy got up anyway and plucked a photograph from the mantle. “Huh, this is new. When’d you two go to a Tornadoes game, and why wasn’t I invited?”
Katie gestured for the picture and Livvy passed it over. It was a picture of her and Harry wearing various shades of blue, nearly blending in with the sky in the background. They both had painted triangles on their cheeks, one dark blue and the other sky blue. In the wizarding photograph, he tucked a Tutshill Tornadoes flag behind her ear. She shifted her head to brush the flag against his face and laughed as he sneezed.
“Oh, this?,” Harry said. “Our Hogwarts teammate Angelina was starting and got us tickets to watch her play.”
“You’re friends with Angelina Johnson?” Livvy said in awe. She’d been a Tornadoes fan since she was a child. She looked at them in a new light.
Katie laughed. “Yeah, you’ve met her when you were little. She used to come over all the time. She’s my best friend.”
“I wonder what Alicia would think about you saying that,” Harry said as he handed the picture to Charlotte, who’d gestured for it.
“She’s also my best friend, though that wouldn’t stop her from being overdramatic,” Katie rolled her eyes. She looked at Lily, flattered. “I can’t believe you have this up on your mantle.”
“Of course, darling,” Lily smiled softly. “This is the only picture I have of the two of you. Get me a better picture and we’ll put it next to this one. I’d like my guests to know my daughter-in-law isn’t just a Quidditch fanatic, you know?”
She winked and Katie laughed while Harry and Livvy argued that, no, there was nothing wrong with being a Quidditch fanatic.
Soon, Lily announced dinner, and the party moved into the dining room. Katie got lucky with the seating, as she snagged a seat with her dad to her left, Livvy to her right, and Harry across from her. Her mum sat on Livvy’s other side. She spent most of the dinner speaking to Remus and Sirius, who told stories about their Hogwarts days.
As the night progressed and they retired to the sitting room, wine loosened their tongues, and the stories became more and more outrageous. A drunk James nearly fell asleep on Lily when she decided to call it a night and send him up to bed. Harry, who carted his father up, decided to turn in for the night as well in his childhood bedroom (which had been resized to also fit Katie).
Soon after, the remaining adults began to peter out. Remus carted a very drunk Sirius back to his flat, and Edward left as well. Livvy stayed behind as she was spending the night at her mum’s place. After an exhausted Livvy fell asleep on the sofa, Lily suggested she and Charlotte stay the night as neither seemed to be in a state to travel. Once Charlotte agreed, she promptly went upstairs to ready the guest rooms.
That left Katie alone in the Potter sitting room with her estranged mother and her sleeping sister.
She was aware of the surreptitious looks her mother kept sending her all night. She’d managed to avoid holding any conversation more intense than mere pleasantries despite Charlotte trying to seek her out.
“I think I’ll get myself a glass of milk,” she said to no one in particular, getting up and scampering out of the room. She walked into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and grabbed a bottle of milk. Her thumb trailed the serrated edge of the bottlecap absently as she steadied her beating heart. She looked through the cupboard for a mug. She found one that said ‘World’s Best Seeker’ on it. She smiled, recognising it as Harry’s. She plucked it out of the shelf.
“Katie,” her mother’s voice sounded from behind her. Her shoulders stiffened and she took a sharp inhale. She didn’t turn around.
“Could I also get a glass?”
She nodded, back still turned. She grabbed a second, nondescript mug out of the cupboard and filled both with milk. Her hands shook slightly, and she vanished some spilt milk with her wand. She returned the bottle to the fridge before finally turning around. She cast a warming charm over the mugs before sliding the plain one to her mother, looking down at her mug the whole time.
“How’s work?” Charlotte asked. The older woman’s fingers tapped against the counter arrhythmically.
Katie nodded slowly. “Not too bad. I’ve been a full-time healer nearly two years now.”
“That’s good,” Charlotte nodded. “It’s a noble profession, you know? Healing. Helping people. It’s admirable.”
“Thank you,” Katie said. “It’s exhausting but rewarding all the same.”
“I’d imagine,” Charlotte smiled sympathetically. “The hours must be insane. I hear from some friends that they put the junior healers through the worst shifts.”
Katie laughed; it came out hollow. “That’s true, yeah. Yesterday, I came home around maybe three or four in the morning. Harry, the absolute angel he is, had breakfast ready by the time I woke up. I don’t think I would’ve lasted this long without him.”
Charlotte looked at her knowingly. “You’ve got it bad for that boy.”
Katie grinned. “Is it that obvious?”
“Oh yes,” Charlotte nodded sagely. “You two are so sweet.”
Katie took a sip of her milk to hide her burning cheeks. “Thanks.”
“It takes me back, you know?” Charlotte said nostalgically. “Seeing you two like this.”
“Takes you back to you and dad?” The words left Katie’s mouth before she could stop herself.
Charlotte gave her a tragic look. “Yes.”
“So, you still reminisce on those times?” Katie asked, disbelief clouding her voice. “Even – even after everything?”
Charlotte nodded slowly. “Yes, I do. Those are still good memories, the times with your father. I don’t regret marrying him. I don’t regret loving him.”
“Then, why did you leave?” Katie asked, and darkness fell over the silence between them. Katie’s heart pounded erratically in her chest, and she held her breath.
“We had our reasons for our separation,” Charlotte said diplomatically.
“Don’t lie to me,” Katie said, anger starting to bleed through her voice. “I know it wasn’t some mutual separation. You left him. I saw Dad after you left; he was inconsolable. A mutual separation doesn’t do that to someone.”
“Katie, look, you don’t want to know –”
“Don’t give me that bullshit.”
“Do not speak to me like that, I am your mother –”
“You do not get to play that card,” Katie snapped. “You lost the right to call yourself that when you left me to take care of Livvy and Dad. You lost that right when you disappeared from our lives for years without sending so much as a letter.”
“Kitty, please –”
“Don’t call me that – you don’t get to call me that, not anymore.”
“Katie, you have to understand-”
“Understand what, mum? Why you left Livvy? Why you abandoned me?”
“I JUST COULDN’T DO IT ANYMORE, OKAY?” Charlotte’s mug fell to the floor and Katie took a step back. “Your father and I had you when we were both young – barely in our twenties. We weren’t ready. We weren’t planning for you for a long time. Then you just happened. And we loved you dearly. But it was hard, okay? It was hard watching all my friends live their lives, go out and have fun while I was stuck at home with you.”
Charlotte didn’t bother picking up the mug. She stared at Katie from across the counter.
“Your father loved me more than anything, and I loved him. We both loved you, Kitty. You were the light of our lives. But there was just a small part of me that was dissatisfied. I didn’t have any crazy ambitions, but I just wanted to go out there and experience the world. Make some memories and have some stories that I could come back and tell you.”
“But I had this massive responsibility. A child. My own progeny to care for,” Charlotte shook her head. “I tried to be the best mother I could, but then Livvy came along. The stress doubled and after a certain point, I couldn’t do it anymore.”
“It was just supposed to be a vacation. You were at Hogwarts, so I dropped Livvy off at your grandma’s house, left a note for your father, and backpacked around the continent. I did all the things I wanted to do when you were little. It was incredible – the freedom. But then it came time to go back. And I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t come back to the same monotony when I knew what was out there. So, I left for good, I filed for divorce and just left. I didn’t want anything from Edward – I made as much clear. I just wanted to be free.”
“You didn’t even want us?” Katie asked quietly as her vision blurred with tears. Charlotte smiled sadly.
“That’s the only thing I regret,” Charlotte said. “Not being a part of my daughters’ lives. I truly did and do love you. I just wasn’t cut out to be a mother.”
“So, what, you wanted to get the privileges of being a mother without any of the responsibility?” Katie sneered.
“No –”
“Then how else would you describe it?”
Charlotte was silent. Katie swallowed back her tears and shook her head. “Good night, Mum. I’ll see you around.”
She fled the kitchen, running out into the hallway.
“Katie!”
She turned around abruptly and saw Harry approach her, eyes brimming with concern. He pulled her into his arms, and she sobbed into his chest. He rubbed circles into her back and hummed softly into her ear.
“How much did you hear?” she asked into his shoulder.
“Just the tail end,” Harry said. “I woke up to use the loo, and Mum asked me to let your mum and Livvy know their rooms were ready.”
Katie nodded. They stood there in silence and Harry rocked her gently as her mind swarmed with thoughts, each one worse than the last.
“What if she’s right?” Katie asked, pulling away to look at him.
“What do you mean?” Harry asked, confused.
“What if I wake up one day, and I just crack?” She said worriedly. “I’m scared I’ll up and leave one day, like Mum did. What if I’m not built for this commitment thing?”
Harry went quiet.
“Do you not want to get married?” he asked.
“What? No! Of course I want to marry you,” she said frantically. “It’s just – losing control like this – trusting you with my heart – it’s hard, you know?”
Harry tilted his head, and she could tell he didn’t. Harry had always been the type to trust completely and fully. If you earned his friendship, you had it for life. He would die and kill for you. And if he trusted you, he would stand by you even if the entire world was against you.
She was different. She trusted him implicitly. That wasn’t the problem. But she was scared of that fact. There was always a persistent voice in the back of her head telling her she wasn’t enough. She was constantly second-guessing herself, wondering whether her next misstep would be the straw that broke the camel’s back. The mistake that would get Harry to leave her.
She wished she could tell him all this, but she couldn’t. She didn’t want him to think her weak and insecure. He thought so highly of her that she didn’t want to taint that with her insecurities.
He just watched her silently, eyes flitting across her face, trying to read her expression and gain an understanding of her struggle. Only once had he seen such turmoil behind her eyes, and it scared him.
It had been eight years, but he could still remember the night of the Yule Ball as vividly as ever.
“I – it’s nothing, alright?” Katie sighed, and Harry couldn’t find the words to make her feel better. How could he when he didn’t know what was wrong? He just watched helplessly as she extricated herself from his arms.
She wrapped her arms around herself, thinking about how cold she felt without him. For a moment, she wanted to run right back to him, but her self-loathing won over. “I just need a moment to myself. I’ll come back upstairs in a little bit.”
She couldn’t meet his eyes as she walked away. She collapsed onto the sofa in the living room. Livvy was gone, probably in one of the guest rooms already. The picture of her and Harry from the Tornados game stared down at her from the coffee table. She held it close to her chest as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks.
Once again, she’d messed everything up. She could imagine what Harry was thinking, but she just couldn’t bring herself to be open about it. She just had to bottle things up. She knew it was a problem, but why couldn’t she fix it?
“You’re looking rather down, dear,” Lily Potter walked in, wearing a nightgown and fluffy slippers. In her hands, she held two steaming mugs of tea. She gave one to Katie. “Couldn’t sleep?”
She abruptly wiped the tears away before accepting the drink from her soon-to-be mother-in-law.
“Nothing too serious,” she lied; unsuccessfully if the sympathetic smile she received was any indicator.
Lily hummed noncommittally. “Would you like to talk about it?”
“It’s just – baggage from the past,” Katie said vaguely. “From long ago.”
She really could use some of the infamous Lily Potter wisdom right now. However, according to Harry, Lily didn’t know about her and Harry’s history. She didn’t know about the intricacies of her parents’ divorce and the way it influenced Katie’s decisions over the past decade. How could she look Lily in the eye and tell her she broke her son’s heart and ask her for help to avoid repeating that mistake?
“I know about what happened between you and Harry, you know?” Lily said softly.
Oh.
“James told me everything. About what happened after the Yule Ball. About the next three years. How Harry didn’t want to tell me because he didn’t want to ruin our relationship,” she cracked a smile. “Even during his anguish, he was still more concerned for our relationship. It’s times like these when I think I’ve done a pretty good job raising that kid.”
Katie’s heart cracked. So much for that relationship. “I didn’t know. You must hate me.”
“No, not really. I can’t say I wasn’t a little disappointed initially – I really was rooting for you two, you know?” Lily took a long sip of her tea. “But you were only kids, and you’d just gone through the worst experience of your life. It was an irrational decision but you were in a rather irrational time.”
“What’s done is done,” Lily shrugged. “Now, darling, tell me what’s wrong so I can help you. Has Harry done something stupid? He’s never too old for the paddle, you know?”
Katie let out a watery chuckle. “No, he’s been perfect. It’s me. I – I’m so afraid of losing him, of becoming like my mother, that I keep holding back. It’s like the Yule Ball over again. I keep trying to avoid hurting him which only ends up hurting him more than anything else.”
Katie picked at her sleeves in frustration. “I know what I’m doing wrong but I don’t know how to fix it. And it scares me because he’s always so patient and forgiving and I don’t know when it’s going to run out. I feel like I’m on borrowed time till my parents’ past becomes my present.”
Lily shifted over and hugged Katie, who leaned into the older woman.
“I remember what Dad was like that first winter,” she said quietly. “I imagine Harry like that and it kills me. The worst part is that I know Dad was like that because he loved Mum so much that he could barely live without her.”
“I know how much Harry loves me, and I don’t want that to be him,” Katie sniffled. “Mum left Dad because she couldn’t handle being a mother. What if I also crack like her? Does that make me a bad person, that I almost want him to love me less?”
“No, love, it just makes you human,” Lily said soothingly and rubbed Katie’s shoulder. “We all have doubts, you know? Whether we’re doing the right thing. Overthinking can be a terrible curse. But we just have to block the intrusive thoughts and focus on what’s important.”
“It’s so hard. I mean, you and James make it look so easy. How do you do it?”
Lily laughed. “That comes with time, love. James and I have had twenty-five years to figure things out. At the beginning of our relationship, we had our problems. I was a lot like you are now, actually. Doubting and overthinking everything.”
“No way,” Katie said disbelievingly. “You two are perfect together. What doubts could you have had?”
“When we were kids, James was something of a prat,” Lily smiled, lost in nostalgia. “He would prank and sometimes even bully the Slytherins when we were in school. I hated his guts, you know? My best friend at the time, Severus, was a Slytherin –”
“Severus, as in Severus Snape?” Katie gaped. Lily nodded with a chuckle. “You were best friends with the Hogwarts potions professor? But he’s so –” she gestured wildly, giving herself horns and trying to look generally fiendish.
“And you’re so… nice,” she finished lamely.
Lily grinned. “Thank you, darling, but yes. We were good friends when we were kids – we still are. Anyway, as I was saying – James and Sirius loved targeting Sev in particular. I see now that Sev, especially after third year, wasn’t exactly innocent. He and his friends were rather foul to the muggleborns – except me, his childhood friend. James and his friends targeted him partially because of that. But back then, I only saw James Bloody Potter bullying my best friend. I hated the little twat.”
She grinned, eliciting a chuckle from the enraptured Katie.
“Come seventh year, James mellowed out a little. The war was picking up, and we all had to grow up pretty fast,” Lily said solemnly. “James had fancied me since we were eleven and took every chance to ask me out. I found increasingly creative and painful ways to turn him down. It never deterred him, though. Until our seventh year, when we were made head boy and girl. I wasn’t looking forward to working with him, because I didn’t want to put up with his advances. Colour me surprised when he just stopped. He spoke to me just like anyone else. He even treated Sev and the Slytherins with respect, like any other student, even though it was rarely reciprocated.”
“This new James Potter became a friend, and I found myself rapidly thinking of him as more,” Lily’s smile was that of a woman still madly in love. “But a part of me wondered how long it would last.”
“For the first year or so that we dated, I didn’t put one hundred per cent into the relationship. I was afraid he’d turn back into the obnoxious bully. It nearly ruined us,” Lily admitted solemnly. Katie only nodded, transfixed by the story. “He asked me straight up whether I saw a future for us or whether I was just in it for the ride. When he asked me that, I couldn’t respond, and he took it as the answer it was. I went home that night and sobbed my eyes out, asking myself why I couldn’t just say yes.”
“You’re a lot like me, Katie. People like us, we like to be in control,” Lily said, and Katie nodded reluctantly.
“Love is scary for people like us. To trust someone enough to give them your most prized possession. It can be daunting,” Lily said, staring into the fireplace. “I had to take a deep look inward and think about why I kept holding back. And I thought I was just afraid that the man I loved was a façade and that I would end up heartbroken. Then I asked myself – do I trust him? The answer was unequivocally yes. The second question I asked myself was whether I trusted myself not to fuck this up? The answer was no. That was the real problem. I’d never felt like this for anyone, and every decision I made, I second-guessed. These feelings were new and foreign, and the usually composed Lily Evans was completely out of her depth.”
“Do you know what I did?” she asked, and Katie shook her head. “Nothing. I went to work the next day – I was interning at the Department of Mysteries – and pretended everything was fine. When I took my usual route through the DMLE, I saw James, and he looked terrible. Just seeing him like that killed me, and even more so, knowing I’d caused it.”
Katie nodded slowly.
“I realised that in trying to protect myself, I hurt the man I loved,” she smiled sadly at Katie.
“When we’re so afraid of losing something, we tend to make decisions that end up sabotaging that something in the first place,” Lily said softly. “It’s the sick, self-fulfilling prophecy of life. Let me tell you the secret to James’ and my marriage, Katie. It’s all about communication and trust. You’ve got to trust your partner to have your back, and you’ve got to trust yourself that even if you don’t always do the right thing, you’ll always try to make amends.”
“I’m not perfect. Not even close. But I don’t try to be,” Lily shrugged. “I just trust that whenever I mess up, James will be there to pick up the pieces, just like I know he trusts me to be there for him. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about trusting that your bond is stronger than whatever obstacles you face.”
Lily hugged the younger woman. “You’re a good girl, Katie, and I’m glad Harry’s marrying you. I’ll be very cross if all my wedding planning goes to waste because you two couldn’t get your heads out of your arses.”
Katie chuckled weakly, then hugged the older woman tight. She felt full of adrenaline – she wanted to find Harry and tell him everything, but there was still one thing she was curious about.
“In your story – how did you and James work things out?”
Lily smirked. “Oh, that? I went to the DMLE and snogged his brains out on his desk. Then, I told him I was his for as long as he would have me. He asked if I meant that, and when I said yes, he proposed to me on the spot.”
Katie squealed. “That’s adorable.”
“I’m just saying, the same technique might work on your Potter too,” Lily snickered.
“Are you telling me to go snog your son?” Katie raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, if that’s what it’ll take,” Lily winked. “Now go fix things with Harry, I won’t have you two sulking on Christmas.”
Katie hugged Lily once more before running up the stairs, two at a time. Harry wasn’t in bed, and she frowned. She pulled out her wand. “Homenum Revelio.”
She found Lily in the kitchen, James in the master bedroom, and her mother and Livvy in the guest rooms. Harry was nowhere to be seen. She went back downstairs with a frown. Lily stuck her head out from the kitchen.
“Can’t find him?”
Katie nodded.
“Harry tends to brood. His favourite spot is on the roof,” she explained. “Go to the broom shed out back. If Harry’s broom is missing, then you know that’s where he is. Take James’ old Cleansweep.”
“Thank you,” Katie said gratefully. Lily gave her twin thumbs-ups.
She went outside, sorely regretting forgetting her coat back at the flat. Still, she trudged on, casting a warming charm as she approached the broom shed. Inside, she couldn’t find Harry’s Firebolt. With new resolve, she grabbed the ancient Cleansweep Seven (which was coincidentally the broom she used back in school) and flew up to the roof.
The frigid wind battered her face despite the warming charm and sent shivers down her spine. She was certain she’d be sick in the morning. Still, she saw the silhouette that was her fiancée against the starry night. She landed on the roof with a soft thud.
He turned around and looked at her. He patted the ground next to him and she sat down. He immediately pulled her to him, and she relished in his warmth. She waved her wand, and a thick quilt fell over them.
“How are you feeling?” he didn’t look at her, still watching the infinite expanse of the heavens above them.
“Better,” she said honestly. “I spoke to Lily. Finally got a taste of the infamous Lily Potter wisdom.”
“She really is brilliant, isn’t she?” he smiled.
“Yeah. Yeah, she is,” she muttered. They sat quietly. Harry didn’t pressure her to open up – she didn’t think he even expected her to. But for the moment, he was content just with her presence. But that wasn’t enough for her. She couldn’t lose him. If that meant she had to bare her soul to him; trust him with every fibre of her being, then an easier decision she’d never made.
“I’m scared,” she said quietly. Harry turned to look at her and squeezed her tighter. “I guess there’s still a part of me that’s fifteen and scared of commitment. Scared that I’ll mess things up. Make you leave. Or worse, that I’ll leave.”
“I’m afraid to be a wife or a mother because I don’t want to become like mine, yes, but that isn’t all,” she said. “I’m afraid of not being in control. I trust you with my very life, and that scares me. Because there’s always that little voice that says I’m not enough.”
Harry opened his mouth, but she placed a finger on his lips. “I know what you’ll say: that I’m enough. That you love me and will never leave, or you know I wouldn’t. And sure, I believe all those things, but I still think them sometimes. It’s not logical, I get it, but it’s how I feel.”
Katie turned to him and cupped his face. His expression was of such affection and understanding that her heart felt like it would burst. “I guess my greatest fear is that all this won’t last. And if there’s one thing I learnt from back when we were teenagers, it’s that when I hold back to avoid losing the things I care about, that’s when I end up losing them. I guess I just needed another reminder.”
“I can’t promise my insecurities will fade away instantly, but I realise now that I have to trust that our love for each other is stronger than whatever life puts in our way. I’m done living in fear, Harry. I’m all yours, for as long as you’ll have me.”
Harry stared at her with tears brimming in his eyes.
“That was so sweet,” he said. She let out a watery laugh.
“Way to ruin the moment, prat,” she swatted his arm. He smiled and squeezed her against him. Her head found itself on his shoulder and his head rested atop hers. There was a beat of silence, and Katie felt lighter. Not as if the burden she’d been carrying had been relieved, but as if she’d found someone to help her carry it.
Well, she hadn’t found anyone. The person to help her had been beside her all along. She just needed to let him help. She was so glad she did.
“D’you know the muggle story for Christmas?” Harry asked. Katie shook her head. “There’s this muggle religion called Christianity. Mum grew up practising it; still follows some of their traditions, actually. She showed me and Dad a couple of the cooler ones and told us a few stories.”
“Christians believe Christmas is the day their prophesized saviour, Christ, was born,” he said. “After he was born, God sent three wise men to find him and worship him. God told them to follow this star – called the Star of Bethlehem.”
She looked at the sky as if expecting a secret new star to appear. Harry laughed.
“People don’t know what it is,” he said, bumping her shoulder. She stuck her tongue at him, and he smiled. “Some people think it’s a comet, others that it’s a couple planets appearing near each other.”
He looked at the sky and pointed. “I think it’s right there.”
She squinted and followed his gaze. “Harry, that’s just the North Star.”
“I mean, think about it. What better star to guide people to salvation than the brightest star in the sky that always points north?”
“I guess so,” she shrugged.
“The reason I say all this is because the wise men followed the star because they believed in their God. They believed in what they were trying to do. It wasn’t the North Star that brought them to their destiny. It was merely representative of their belief in that destiny.”
“I get that you’re afraid you’ll turn out like your mother. But it’s our choices that show what we truly are, not our parents,” He placed her hand over his heart. “If you ever feel like you’re slipping, just come back to me and we can face it together. Let me be your North Star. Believe in me. Believe in us. Believe that I’m your destiny, just like I know you’re mine. As long as you do that, we can overcome anything. We beat the odds once; we’ll do it again.”
She looked at him as if for the first time. In the starlight, his emerald eyes illuminated like a lighthouse guiding her to safety. Guiding her to him. Every star seemed to pale in comparison.
“I love you,” she whispered so softly she was afraid it would be lost in the wind. But he heard her. He always did.
“I love you too.”
The next morning, Katie woke up to gleeful banging on her door.
“HARRY IF YOU DON’T OPEN THIS DOOR IN FIVE MINUTES, I’M COMING IN THERE,” James yelled from the hallway.
“Dad, Katie’s in here,” Harry yelled from the bed.
“Ok, I’m not coming inside, BUT STILL,” She heard loud cackling. “WE’VE GOT PRESENTS.”
“Go downstairs, Dad,” Harry yawned. “We’ll be down in a bit.”
James huffed before bounding down the stairs.
“I don’t think I can go back to sleep after that,” she mumbled, rolling off him.
“Neither can I,” he rolled over to face her and propped himself up on an elbow. “Good morning, Sunflower.”
“Morning,” she smiled at him. The previous night on the rooftop flashed through her mind. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he said. She hoped she’d never tire of hearing those words.
“Your breath stinks,” he said with a grin. She laughed.
“Prat,” she swatted him on the arm.
“Your prat,” he corrected as she walked into the bathroom.
“Damn straight.”
They went downstairs and were greeted by a positively vibrating James.
“Finally! you two took forever,” he whined. Sometimes Katie wondered whether James was really just a child stuck in a grown man’s body. These moments only gave credence to her theory.
“James, leave them alone,” Lily rolled her eyes from the sofa. “Happy Christmas darlings. You two took your sweet time. Everything better, I hope?”
Harry and Katie nodded simultaneously. They dropped into a loveseat, greeting the other constituents of the living room.
“Why are you wearing shades indoors?” Katie asked Sirius, prompting Remus to snicker.
“The lights are too bright. It’s bad for the eyes,” Sirius said sagely.
“Just say you’re hungover, you mangy mutt,” Remus said through a mug of hot chocolate. She snickered as Sirius tipped Remus’ drink and it spilt all over him. “Great, you’ve just wasted perfectly good cocoa, you petulant manchild.”
“Yeah, yeah, you know big words, we get it,” Sirius rolled his eyes so hard Katie felt it through the glasses.
“Petulant isn’t a big word, you idiot.”
“Then how’d you know which word I was talking about?”
Katie tuned out the bickering Marauders, and greeted her father and sister, who were in the middle of an intense game of Gobstones. They promptly ignored her.
“Happy Christmas to you too,” she shook her head and watched her father get utterly demolished by her younger sister. “Wow, Dad, you’re terrible.”
She giggled at her father’s glare. “I’ve been taking care of both of you since before you could even walk, just to be treated like this on Christmas of all days.”
Katie’s giggles turned to laughter. She pulled her father and sister into a bear hug. “Happy Christmas, you two.”
“Happy Christmas, baby,” Edward smiled into the embrace.
“Yeah, yeah, Happy Christmas,” Livvy grumbled, and Katie knew she was smiling, even if she’d never admit it.
“Where’d Mum go, by the way?” Katie asked hesitantly.
“She apparated back home to get changed,” Livvy said. Katie nodded slowly. She sat with her father and sister, listening to Livvy’s latest shenanigans at Hogwarts.
“And then I ducked under the bludger and threw the quaffle right into Callawader’s face!” Livvy grinned, much to her dad’s exasperation.
“Do you get any studying done at school?” Edward asked sternly. “N.E.W.Ts are next year, you know?”
“I know, dad,” Livvy said petulantly, and Katie rolled her eyes.
There was a sudden gust of cold wind as James opened the door for Charlotte, who greeted the occupants of the living room. Katie looked away before Charlotte saw her. Her breathing turned shallow. Her eyes sought out Harry, who stood by the counter helping his mum pile some biscuits onto a plate.
Sensing her gaze, he turned around and smiled at her. He raised an eyebrow at her expression before noticing Charlotte by the door. His mouth made a small ‘O’ shape before he turned back to her. His smile turned reassuring, and he tapped his heart with a finger.
She returned the smile before turning back to look at Charlotte, who stood awkwardly by the door, eyeing the empty chair next to Katie.
Mother and daughter’s eyes met across the sitting room, and Katie smiled hesitantly. Relief spread across Charlotte’s features, and she ambled over to them.
“Happy Christmas, Kitty, Livvy, Edward,” she sat in the armchair between her daughters.
“Happy Christmas, Mum,” Katie said. She wasn’t sure she would ever truly forgive her mother, but she was willing to try. If nothing else, she needed to prove to herself that she wouldn’t make the same mistakes Charlotte did.
She glanced over at the counter where Harry was watching the interaction. He looked at her with pride and affection shining bright in his ever so expressive eyes. He gave her a thumbs up and she blew him a kiss in return. He pretended to catch it and fall over, and she laughed.
“You two are disgusting,” Livvy wrinkled her nose, watching the exchange.
“You’re just jealous,” Katie rolled her eyes.
“If I ever act like this, I want you to use the Cruciatus on me,” Livvy grimaced.
Katie laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
With Charlotte joining the party, everyone crowded around the tree.
“Do the Bells have any Christmas traditions?” Lily asked. “Any particular order to open the presents?”
“Not really,” Edward laughed. “We usually let Livvy do what she wants and the rest of us take the leftovers.”
“Alright then,” James said. “Kids first?”
“We should go in order of emotional maturity,” Remus suggested. “That way we get James and Sirius out of the way first.”
“Nah, make Dad wait,” Harry smirked. “I had a very abrupt start to my morning and it’s all his fault.”
“My own flesh and blood betraying me,” James bemoaned before mock glaring. “What have you done to my boy, Katie?”
She held her hands up. “This is a Potter family argument; until the wedding, my last name is still Bell.”
“You lot keep yapping, I’m going to get my presents,” Livvy rolled her eyes before reaching for her pile and ripping into the first package.
“See?” Edward said exasperatedly. “Christmas tradition.”
That sent a peal of laughter around the room as Livvy unabashedly tore into her gifts. She gasped. “Uncle James, Uncle Sirius, you didn’t!”
In her hands, she held a brand new Firebolt Supreme. “These aren’t even out yet! How did you get your hands on one?”
“An old friend of ours from Hogwarts works for Firebolt. He managed to pull some strings for us,” James grinned.
“This broom must’ve cost a fortune –” Edward said, but Sirius waved him off.
“When I took over the Black family, the one thing I vowed was that I would use the money for things I wanted. And I wanted to get my family - old and new - some nice things for Christmas,” Sirius smirked. “And almost everyone here is of ‘impure blood’. That would have my ancestors rolling in their graves, and honestly, that’s almost as good motivation as seeing Livvy’s face.”
Livvy got up and hugged James and Sirius. “Thank you, both of you.”
“I’ve always wanted a niece,” James said happily. “Sure, you’ll technically be my daughter-in-law once removed or something, but who cares about the logistics?”
Lily kissed James on the cheek, to exaggerated gagging from Harry and Sirius.
Katie got a pretty good haul. Her Dad got her a set of self-cleaning gloves to use at work, and Livvy got her a bag of human body themed candy with a sugar crystal scalpel to cut the candy organs up into bite sized pieces. It was kind of disgusting, eating teeth made of sugar, but it tasted good enough that she was willing to overlook it. James and Lily got her and Harry matching pyjamas which was supposedly James’ idea. She thought it was cute. Charlotte got her a watch, which got her to tear up a little. Her dad had given her one for her seventeenth birthday, as was tradition, but her mother hadn’t been there.
“Better late than never,” Charlotte said softly. Katie stood up and hugged her mother tight.
“Thank you,” she said shakily. Charlotte hummed softly.
The last present in her pile was from Harry. He too was holding hers.
“Together?” He grinned at her. She nodded and they ripped the wrapping paper off.
She laughed aloud. He’d gotten her a quick-release wand holster. She’d complained to him a while back about how inconvenient it was to multitask with potions and magical devices while using her wand. Clearly, he’d listened and found her a solution in the most Auror-esque way.
The reason she laughed became apparent as she watched Harry stare wide-eyed at his identical wand holster. He laughed loudly and she grinned.
“Happy Christmas, Sunflower,” he pulled her into a hug.
“Happy Christmas, North Star,” she kissed him on the cheek.
“That’s new,” he commented. “I like it though.”
“Well, if I’m your Sunflower, I need something to call you,” she smiled. “And you volunteered the best one yet.”
“And I meant every word,” he whispered.
“Thank you.”
He kissed her cheek.
“Alright, you two, break it up. I want to be able to look at those biscuits without throwing up.”
They simultaneously made rude gestures at Livvy, who cackled. She tried on her holster and nearly took her eye out as her wand shot at her face. She put the holster back in its box. It would take some getting used to.
Soon after opening presents, people started to head home. Remus was the first – he had a date with a rambunctious Auror that had asked him out. Sirius found the whole thing hilarious as the Auror was his cousin (one of the good ones).
Edward was next, citing an experimental potion he was brewing that needed tending. Lily asked to join him, curious to see whether his trial would work. Charlotte too followed, citing work. Then there was a public disturbance call that James, Sirius, and Harry were called in to answer. Katie then invited Livvy to her and Harry’s flat so they wouldn’t be awkwardly sitting around in someone else’s home.
“Since he’s not going to be there, I guess there’s a lower chance of me being scarred for life,” Livvy said. “But I swear to Merlin if I see your bra on the doorknob…”
Katie shot a stinging hex at her little sister. Livvy yelped but Katie stepped through the floo before she could retaliate.
Livvy followed close behind and flopped onto the settee, kicking her feet up on the coffee table.
“Make yourself at home,” Katie said sarcastically, making herself a cup of tea.
Livvy snorted. “Now that we’re alone, what was that secret you wanted to tell me?”
“Oh yeah,” Katie said. “Want a cuppa?”
“Yes, please,” Livvy nodded. “And don’t change the topic.”
Katie hummed nonchalantly and handed her younger sister a mug filled with steaming tea. Livvy took a long sip.
“I’m pregnant.”
She spat the tea out, the spray covering Katie, who waved her wand, drying herself and her little sister.
“Sorry, I must’ve heard that wrong,” Livvy stammered. “I thought I heard you say-”
“You heard me right,” Katie nodded, a small smile playing on her lips.
“You’re joking, right?” Livvy said in disbelief. She shook her head. Livvy squealed and tackled her. “You’re pregnant. I’m going to be an aunt. Merlin’s baggy underpants, this is insane.”
“Tell me about it,” Katie mumbled, sitting down on the armchair opposite Livvy.
“Are you sure?” Livvy looked at Katie appraisingly. “You don’t look –”
She spread her arms around the waist. “- pregnant.”
“Yes, I’m sure,” Katie said dryly. “I’m a healer, Livvy. You think I don’t know how this stuff works? And I’m not very far along, a couple of weeks at most. It won’t start to show yet.”
“So why are we not telling Harry again?” Livvy raised an eyebrow. “The baby is his right?”
“Of course it’s his,” Katie hissed. “What do you think I am, some kind of harlot?”
“No, no, I was just making sure,” Livvy raised her hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d do anything like that.”
Katie rubbed her temples. “The reason I haven’t told him yet is because I’m afraid.”
“Afraid?” Livvy sat next to her sister and threw her arm around her.
“What do I know about being a mother?” Katie asked miserably. “The only one I knew ran away when I was a teenager. I don’t want to become like her. I don’t want my kid to go through what we went through.”
“You’ll be better than our mother. I know it,” Livvy insisted.
“How do you know that?” Katie asked. “How could you possibly know that?”
“Do you remember when Mum first left? You and Dad think I was too little to remember – to fully understand, but I understood enough,” Livvy smiled sadly. “When Dad was pulling himself back together, you were there. You sacrificed your social life to take care of me. Who gave me the birds and the bees because Dad found it too awkward? Who took me to the store to get me pads and the like after my first period? Who comforted me when I broke up with Ethan last year? It was always you. You were there when Mum wasn’t. You took care of me when no one else did. When even Dad couldn’t.”
“I heard Mum last night. In the kitchen – when you both thought I was asleep.”
Tears built in Livvy’s eyes and Katie winced.
“I heard her say we were the reason she left – that she couldn’t handle doing it all over again with me,” Livvy sniffled. “But it’s fine. Honestly it is. Because I made do without her. I didn’t need her because I had you.”
“I know I tease you all the time – you’re my big sister, of course I do – but I wouldn’t have come this far without you, Katie,” Livvy leaned against her sister. “You’ll do better than our mother did. I know you will. Because you did a damn good job with me – if I do say so myself.”
She winked and Katie laughed. “You’re right; you turned out alright. I guess I have to take some credit for that.”
Livvy grinned. “Now, how are you going to tell Harry?”
“So, I have an idea…”
To Be Continued.
Notes:
A/N: And we are BACK. The story continues. More onion ninjas, wholesome moments, and healing. And with a jaw dropper revelation to boot. The conclusion to this trilogy is slated for new years eve but knowing me i'll find a way to be late. Either way, it will happen, i promise. in the meanwhile, keep the reviews coming, you know i appreciate them. Thanks for all the kind words so far, and Merry Christmas!

Lone_Star_Ranger on Chapter 1 Fri 01 Nov 2024 04:11AM UTC
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DashesNotHyphens on Chapter 1 Fri 01 Nov 2024 05:56AM UTC
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Neotono on Chapter 1 Sat 09 Nov 2024 06:35AM UTC
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DashesNotHyphens on Chapter 1 Sat 09 Nov 2024 11:22PM UTC
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Cyanprint on Chapter 1 Sat 21 Dec 2024 01:45AM UTC
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DashesNotHyphens on Chapter 1 Sat 21 Dec 2024 02:22AM UTC
Last Edited Sat 21 Dec 2024 02:22AM UTC
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FlameReader123 on Chapter 2 Wed 05 Feb 2025 08:20PM UTC
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ImoutoThief on Chapter 2 Thu 05 Jun 2025 10:34AM UTC
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DashesNotHyphens on Chapter 2 Thu 05 Jun 2025 03:14PM UTC
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