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Remus crept into Harry’s bedroom, slow and steady footsteps so as not to wake the small two-year-old. They had just transferred him from a crib to a toddler bed- the little one constantly climbing out, ending up sleeping with a blanket and his plushies on the floor. Since the move (nearly a month ago) he had become a light sleeper, waking the moment he heard one of his godparents at the door.
Remus safely made it to the foot of the bed and the sight before him sent warmth to Remus’ heart. Harry was snuggled up with his black dog, wolf, and deer plushies surrounding him above his head, while he gripped his langur monkey plush tightly in his little arms.
He sighed and softly sat next to Harry’s feet, taking in the adorable, touching sight in front of him. After a moment, he ran his fingers through Harry’s wild black hair (just like James), attempting to slowly wake the boy up. It must’ve worked as the next moment Harry started shifting, stretching his tiny limbs out. He slowly blinked his eyes open, looking over at Remus with big, bright, innocent green eyes (just like Lily).
“Good morning, bug. How are you this morning?” Remus gently asked.
Harry rubbed his eye then slurred out, “I s’eepy.”
Remus chuckled. “Are you now? Well,” he started dramatically, “that is too bad. I was going to ask if you could help me make a special surprise for Padfoot.” The mention of Sirius’ nickname- and what Harry referred to them as- caused Harry’s eyes to go even wider, the toddler now wide awake. “But since you clearly need more sleep-“
“No!” Harry interrupted. “I he’p! I he’p! For Pa’foo?”
Remus’ expression grew fonder. The two of them were as thick as thieves. Sirius and Harry’s bond was clear as day, it was hard to separate them. It had been this way since the day Harry was born. He’d gripped Sirius’ finger the tightest and, at the time, they were the only one who Harry would settle and fall asleep for.
Yeah, that was James’ kid alright.
Now, Remus looked at a pleading Harry, begging to be able to help Remus with his surprise. “P’ease Moo’y! I wan’ he’p!”
“I don’t know. It’s an important job, especially because it’s Padfoot’s birthday. But you said you were sleepy.”
“No! I wi’e ‘wake!” Harry whined out.
Remus pretended to think about Harry’s pleas, as the child made puppy dog eyes to him- he was learning so much from Sirius- tapping his chin with his finger and humming in consideration.
“Well,” Remus finally replied, “I suppose because you asked so nicely, you can help. Let’s get you a little more ready for the day though. Come on, bug.”
Remus stood up slowly, still somewhat achy from the pain in his joints due to the moon occurring only a day and a half prior. Thanks to the wolfsbane, he wasn’t out of the count for as long as he used to be, but the aches still lingered for a few days. Harry got off the bed more slowly, considering something, looking over to his plushies on the bed with his brows furrowed worriedly together.
He looked to Remus concerned. “I take P’ongs?” He asked sweetly. The deer plush was sitting at the top of the constellation-covered pillow, right next to Canis Major.
Harry had named each of the plush after each Marauder and Lily. The dog was Padfoot (although more commonly called Paddy), the wolf was Moons, the deer was Prongs, and the monkey was simply Red. When Sirius questioned Harry about this, he pointed out a tiny red lotus flower that was next to the monkey’s left ear. Both Sirius’ and Remus’ hearts were touched by the tribute.
“Of course, you can take Prongs. Just make sure you take good care of him.” Remus warned fondly.
Harry enthusiastically nodded his head, grabbed the deer, and bounded down the hall to the bathroom. Remus grabbed Harry’s glasses, placing them on his face when he made it to the boy waiting outside the door. The two went about getting themselves ready, still in their pajamas- Remus in a Bowie t-shirt and black sweatpants, and Harry in a set with dinosaurs on them. Remus helped Harry brush his teeth, much to the little one’s chagrin, and he demanded to be picked up and carried to the kitchen for his troubles. Remus luckily didn’t need his cane for the moment, so Harry got treated to being in his Moony’s arms.
Harry had his arms tightly wrapped around Remus’ neck as they made it to the kitchen, refusing to let go when Remus went to put him down on the counter.
“No! Comfy ‘ere.” Harry whined softly.
Remus grew a small smile at the little boy. While Harry was obviously much closer to Sirius, he loved being with his Moony. He loved being tucked up next to him or in Remus’ arms, the two of them frequently cuddled up on the couch watching cartoons. After every moon, Harry would return to the cottage and find Remus lying in bed, letting his body rest from the transformations. He’d climb up, wanting to ‘He’p Moo’y! ’ and settle right next to him, doing whatever he could according to a two-year-old’s brain to make Remus better. Usually, this meant patting his head and giving Remus a plush- usually Padfoot or Red. Harry truly was a sweet, gentle little boy.
“Love, in order for us to make Padfoot’s surprise, I need both my arms free. I would also need you on your own two feet to help.”
Harry begrudgingly agreed to sit on the counter whilst Remus gathered the supplies. He’d planned on making cinnamon chocolate chip pancakes, Sirius’ favorite, along with some eggs and sausage links. He wanted to do something special for them being that it was the technical first birthday they’d be celebrating without James and Lily.
It had been one year since the fateful Halloween when their lives were turned upside down. Remus had just gotten back from a mission the night before Sirius’ 22nd birthday and found out about the deaths of two of his best friends and that Sirius was in a holding cell in the ministry while the Aurors tried to figure out what exactly happened. After Remus made a big scene about how Sirius would never betray the Potters, both were questioned in regard to Peter’s “death.” Sirius spent three weeks in a cell in Azkaban until they found Peter out of his animagus form near the Weasley family Burrow. Molly was the one who saw him, immediately informing the Aurors, and Sirius’ name was cleared two days later. Sirius hadn’t processed that their birthday even passed, nor the events that had happened. That would take another two months to fully realize, along with finally winning the custody battle to get Harry.
This would be their first birthday fully understanding that James was gone. Their first birthday truly spent without him.
So, Remus had to make sure it was special. He had to make sure that while still feeling their grief, they also felt cared for and the love that Remus and Harry had for them.
Remus collected the ingredients, a bowl, and a chair for Harry to stand on to help. When he got back over, Harry was playing with Prongs’ antlers, looking at the plush upset. He set everything down and questioned the boy.
“Haz? What’s wrong?”
“P’ongs is Dada?” Harry asked still looking at the plush animal.
Saddened slightly, “Kind of, love. Your dad’s animagus form was a stag.”
Harry looked at him confusion written all over his tiny features. “What ani- ami-”
Remus chuckled. “Animagus?” Harry nodded. “An animagus is basically the animal form that a person takes after performing a very powerful and complicated spell and ritual. But you don’t need to worry about that, now. When you are older Padfoot and I will explain it more.”
“That Pa’foo too?”
“What, bug?”
“Ani- amu-”
This stunned Remus. He stared at the boy dumbfounded as he continued to try to say the word- very much to no avail. How he was able to make that connection, he didn’t know. But he clearly was James and Lily’s kid as he was incredibly smart just like them.
“Yes, actually. Padfoot is an animagus too. You like his animagus form don’t you?”
“Dog! Dog! Woof!”
Remus started laughing, Harry was definitely going to be a handful as he got older. “Yes, Haz, Padfoot turns into a dog.” He looked at the clock and noticed it was already nearly half past eight, so he decided to change the topic in order to get everything ready by nine.
“Alright, love, do you want to start making Padfoot’s special breakfast?”
“Yea!” Harry proclaimed very excitedly. He dropped Prongs on the ground, Remus shaking his head affectionately, picking the plush up and placing it on the windowsill next to them.
The two of them went about making the pancakes, Remus doing most of the work, Harry simply pouring in some flour and chocolate chips (and stealing a tiny handful) whilst also spewing random words that excited him. Remus made scrambled eggs for Harry and fried eggs with sausage links for himself and Sirius.
Harry helped prepare both adults’ teas, carrying one very carefully, with Prongs tucked up under his arm. He slightly waddled, but made sure that none of the drink spilled. Remus reached the door first, holding a tray with all the food, Harry’s bottle, and his own cup of tea on it, and opened the door to allow Harry to waddle in first, a light chuckle escaping him as he watched his godson be extra careful. Harry set the cup down on the ground and looked up at Remus, golden brown skin and green eyes shining from the sunlight coming through the window in the room. His smile was what lit up the entire room.
Remus set the tray down on the drawers next to the door and looked over to the bed, a vision in front of him.
Sirius was lying stomach down, soft snores escaping their mouth. Their face was free of any anxiety, totally relaxed with a tiny smile curling at the edge of their lips. Their hair was sprawled out on the silk blue pillowcase, the blanket tangled up with their legs. They were hugging a pillow- Remus’- and held it close to their chest, attempting to bury their face into it. Their plaid pajama pants were riding up at the bottom of their legs, but they had no shirt on, black ink against pale white skin on display.
Beautiful.
A small grunt woke Remus from his daze and he averted his eyes to see Harry attempting to climb onto the pillowtop mattress, just barely able to hold himself up. Remus huffed out a laugh and walked over to give him a boost up. Harry tried to pull the pillow out from Sirius’ arms, likely wanting to cuddle up with his godfather, but Sirius wrapped their arms tighter around the pillow, making a small whiny noise at the effort of someone trying to take the pillow away.
Harry then proceeded to climb onto Sirius’ back and flopped down- hard . This woke Sirius up almost instantly, a groan escaping their throat. They took a moment to gather themself, then wrapped an arm behind them and started to tickle Harry.
“Why I think I have a little sprog monster here.” They said, voice still groggy, into their pillow. Harry was giggling and kicking his feet, falling to Remus’ side of the bed. Sirius turned towards him, stretching their long limbs out, and continued their tickling attack on the small child.
Remus was in love. Nothing could’ve prepared him for the adorable moment in front of his eyes. Had you told him one year ago that he’d get to have perfect mornings like this with his partner and godson, he would’ve laughed in your face. Sirius captured a still gleeful Harry in their arms, now giving him kisses all over his face and hair, the toddler trying to wiggle himself free from Sirius’ grip.
Remus cleared his throat, not wanting the food to go cold. Sirius, still holding onto Harry, who settled back into Sirius’ chest, looked up at Remus, beautiful grey eyes immediately dilating upon seeing Remus. Their face grew softer as well, relaxing into the morning sun.
“Morning, Moons,” they sighed out affectionately.
Remus walked over, bending down to pick up the teacup still on the floor, and handed it to Sirius, sitting down next to them, grabbing their face, and kissing their forehead.
“Morning, starshine. And a very happy birthday, to you.”
On the word ‘birthday,’ their features started to fall, the light in their eyes from a second ago began to dim. Remus smoothly reacted, rubbing soothing circles into their back and getting them out of their head.
“Bug, do you want to tell Padfoot what we did this morning?”
Sirius came out of their momentary daze and looked expectantly at the little boy. “Ma’e you su’p’ise!” Harry exclaimed excitedly.
“A surprise, you say, Sprog?” Sirius’ eyebrow cocked up, “Well, just what exactly is it?”
Harry shrugged his shoulders, innocently, a big grin on his face. Remus rolled his eyes fondly and got back up to retrieve the tray of food. He brought it back, Harry now sitting next to Sirius, who was sipping on their tea.
“Thought you might like breakfast in bed. I have a little bit more planned for today but I figured this was a good place to start.” Remus said settling back down on the other side of Harry, placing the tray on all of their laps.
“Moonbeam, you don’t need to do all of that, I don’t need it.” Sirius said, somewhat baffled.
“You deserve a lovely day today.”
“It’s just another normal day, Moony.”
“But it isn’t. It’s-”
“Remus.” Sirius warned, clipped. Remus looked up and saw that Sirius’ eyes were starting to fill with tears and their breathing picked up a bit. Remus immediately knew what was going on, but also knew that right now, in front of Harry, wasn’t the place to have the discussion.
“We’re talking about it, but not right now, okay?” Remus said, voice stern and concerned.
Sirius nodded their head, looking back down at the plate in front of them, taking a deep breath in, and putting a happy face on for Harry, who had already dug a handful of eggs up into his mouth.
“Oh, Sprog, please use your fork at least.” Sirius lightly chuckled. He picked up his wand and wordlessly cleaned up Harry’s hands. Harry shrugged and took the small fork, shoveling more eggs into his mouth.
Sirius proceeded to dig into their own food, cutting some pancake off, eyes going wide in astonishment. They swallowed, then said, “Cinnamon chocolate chip?”
“Just like Effie used to make.”
Bewildered, and in a quiet voice, “You remembered?”
“Sweetheart, of course, I did. It was always your favorite. I figured I’d make you something special, though I still don’t know why you love cinnamon so much.” Remus said passingly, eating his own food.
He noticed Sirius flush a bit, their cheeks and tips of their ears going a dark shade of pink. “Er, just- Just reminds me of someone…important.” They said bashfully.
Remus quirked his head to the side a bit, confused. Sirius just shook their head. “Don’t worry about it, honey. I have a better question,” they turned towards Harry, clearing their throat, “was it this little bugger who made my food? Because it is delicious.”
They smiled at the boy, proud of him even if it wasn’t actually Harry who made it. He helped so that’s what counted.
“No! I he’p. Moo’y ma’e foo’!” Harry said with his mouth partially full.
“Oh, Moony, then? That calls for a little gift for Moony.” They said lovingly as they stretched over kissing him chastely on the lips. Harry made a giggly noise. Sirius pulled back and looked at Remus, eyes full of gratitude.
They continued eating, somewhat in silence, Harry beginning to babble about nothingness. The two-year-old placed Prongs in Sirius’ hands when he jumped up, proclaiming that he needed to use the bathroom. Remus got up and took him to the ensuite (they were trying to potty-train Harry, to varying degrees of success).
When the two returned, Sirius was looking melancholically at the plush, running their thumb along an antler. They were mumbling softly to themself, eyes sad but voice earnest.
“I promise, Prongs, I’ll take care of him. Just keep looking out for us. I know you’d never actually leave. You’re with me, still. With us . I can feel it.”
Harry ran towards the bed, taking Sirius out of their daze. They collected themself and picked Harry up, placing him on their lap, hugging him tightly. Harry moved himself so he was chest to chest with Sirius, his arms wrapped snuggly around Sirius’ neck, his face bent into the crook of Sirius’ neck. He settled very easily, Sirius running a hand up and down his back.
They looked up, eyes still sad. Remus longed to rip the sorrowful thoughts from Sirius’ mind. He knew it was a feeling they were allowed to feel, needed to as well, but it pained him to see Sirius so distressed. He’d do anything to free them of that torment.
Remus walked over to the bed, shifting the tray of mostly empty plates to the side and settling down beside Sirius, opening his arms in invitation. He gave them a soft smile, Sirius returning the gesture, as they moved themself and Harry to lay back on Remus’ chest. Remus wrapped his arm around his two favorite people, knowing that this was how he could protect them for now.
After a few minutes, Harry dozed off, small, gentle snores heard coming from the toddler. Sirius took a deep breath and leaned their head further back onto Remus’ shoulder.
“Sweetheart, do you want to talk about it, or wait until we’re alone?”
Sirius closed their eyes, tears starting to fall slowly down their face. Remus quickly panicked and sat up a bit in order to get his hand up to Sirius’ face to wipe their tears away and cradle their face.
Through a mournful whisper, “They should be here. They should be the ones raising Harry. They deserve it.” And wasn’t that the truth? Remus let that thought hang in the air a moment, trying to find the proper words.
“Cariad, we’re doing everything we can to give him the best life.” Remus answered quietly.
“It doesn’t feel like enough.” Sirius argued through a mumble.
Remus paused for a moment, considering their words. He took a deep breath and kissed their temple, knowing this was a much bigger conversation that would have to wait.
“Let’s talk about that later, Starshine. How are you feeling this morning?”
After a sniffle, “Alright. Had a decent wake-up call.” Sirius said with amusement back in their voice.
Remus cringed a bit. “I apologize for letting Harry slam onto your back. Should’ve seen that one coming when I helped him up.”
They huffed out a small laugh. “Oh, that’s fine. I don’t mind Prongslet one bit.”
Remus tilted his head down towards Sirius and spoke in a teasing tone, “Noticed you all curled up with my pillow.”
Sirius chuckled and opened their eyes, their cheeks developing more of a blush than before. “And, what of it?”
“Nothing. Just an observation.”
Sirius closed their eyes again, leaning back more into Remus. “How’s the aches today?”
“Not too bad. Might need the cane in a little bit.”
“Want me to do any diagnostics or stretches?”
Ever since Sirius went to Healer training, they’d become quite good at helping Remus through the moons. They’d always been wonderful about them, the first one to check on him during their Hogwarts day. But now that they had more knowledge about the finer details, they were determined to do whatever they could to properly help Remus.
Remus considered this, taking note of his joints and back, and hummed in consideration.
“Maybe for the left hip and back? Harry demanded a joy ride this morning.”
Sirius started shaking with laughter, a snort escaping them. “What caused that?”
“I dared to make him brush his teeth.” Remus drawled.
Sirius opened one eye, looking down at the young boy. “Yes, well, I can see that as causing quite a good amount of trouble for one’s soul.”
They both settled back for a few more minutes, Remus simply sitting there, holding Sirius and Harry. Sirius was humming a song, suddenly, and they started singing it lightly to no one in particular.
They ran their fingers through Harry’s hair as they sang. “ ‘The monster’s gone. He’s on the run. And your Paddy’s here. Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful boy.’ ”
Remus’ favorite song as of late. He’d frequently listen to it while putting Harry to sleep, changing the word ‘Daddy’ to ‘Moony’, and it always worked when he was especially cranky. Sirius would sing it to Remus when he was waking from a transformation, Remus needing the extra comfort and knowledge that he wasn’t alone.
Why Sirius was singing it now, Remus wasn’t sure, but he didn’t question it, being that he loved Sirius’ singing voice. Would listen to it forever if it was the only thing left.
Sirius knew Remus’ thoughts and answered, “Just need Harry to hear the words. Make sure he knows we’re here for him, always.”
“I’m sure he knows that, Pads.”
Sirius stiffened a little, opening their eyes and sitting up the slightest bit. “Does he? You know how often he gets nightmares. He always starts crying, screaming out for Lily and-”
“Sh, I know. I know.” Remus started in a soothing tone. “But I promise you, he knows we’re with him.”
Sirius was quiet, only breathing being heard from them. They spoke up after a moment. “Sorry for implying that you didn’t deserve to raise Harry earlier.”
Huh?
“What are you on about?” Remus questioned.
Sheepishly, “When I said that James and Lily deserve to be the ones raising Harry. It came off as though we, but specifically you, didn’t.”
Oh, this lovely, overly anxious person.
The anxiety for things like this- how Sirius’ words came off- began not too long after they left Azkaban and came back to their shared flat in London. When Remus confronted them about it, they quietly confessed that it had to do with not trusting him fully before the events of Halloween. Remus was quite frankly stunned. Not because of the lack of trust, there was enough of that going around at the time, so he understood where Sirius was coming from. Instead, he was surprised at how it affected them.
Sure they were always on edge, regardless, thanks to their upbringing, but Sirius was never one to be unsure of themselves or to be worried about how their words affected others. If someone was offended, Sirius would apologize and move on, owning up to their mistake. Now, when they considered their words or thought them over, they’d worry that they said something wrong, that there was somehow malice in their intentions.
That was usually never the case. Because of the war, Sirius was now concerned with how they trusted and spoke to others. They were a new person, and Remus was determined to relearn who they were. He loved them anyway.
Remus kissed Sirius’ temple, snuggling them closer to his chest. “Starshine, I did not take it that way. I know what you meant by it. I appreciate you looking out for me, but I promise, it’s okay.”
Sirius just nodded. Remus felt the tension still thick in the air between them, so he continued. “You are valid in feeling like you may have said the wrong thing, but I need you to understand that you didn’t. Trust me, if I had it my way, and likely the way you’d like it too, James and Lily would be here right now, celebrating with us.” When he was met with a zoned-out Sirius, Remus continued, “Cariad, look at me please.”
Sirius didn’t budge, so Remus tapped their shoulder, taking them out of their daze. Still with a glazed-over expression, Sirius tilted their head back onto Remus’ shoulder to look up at him.
Remus was met with the most beautiful wide grey eyes. They were slightly stained glass, tears just waiting to make their escape, and kept looking back and forth between Remus’ eyes. They didn’t have any real emotion in them, but if Remus looked deep enough into Sirius’ soul, he could make out slight trepidation. He kissed their nose, breaking them of their daze by scrunching their face and chuckling slightly, a tiny smile forming on their face.
Remus spoke passionately. “I love you, so much. Of course, I want James and Lily here with us, raising Harry. Maybe another little one too. James would be spoiling you rotten with attention.” He paused to give Sirius a moment to take this in. “Unfortunately, they aren’t with us physically. But I can promise you, they’re here. Harry knows his parents, he actually asked me about James before.”
This brought some light back to Sirius’ stormy eyes. “He did?”
“Yeah, made the connection that James and Prongs were the same thing.”
Sirius looked down at their sleeping godson and held him tighter, a small whimper escaping them. Remus held tighter as well. No words were spoken, just their breathing and slight shifting heard.
Sirius broke the silence, asking a quiet, seemingly honest question. “Do you think they’re proud?”
“James and Lily?” Sirius nodded. “I hope they are. Sure, maybe they’d do some things differently-”
“Like not letting him say ‘fuck’?”
Remus giggled. “That was one time and it was because he was copying everything I said. Not my fault I stubbed my toe.”
Sirius started shaking with laughter again, slowing quickly when Harry shifted around in their arms. “No, I think James would’ve laughed if something like that happened.”
Remus hummed in agreement. He continued to lay with the two of them, rubbing patterns into Sirius’ arms when he felt Sirius get heavier, their breathing evening out. They had fallen back asleep. Though it took a moment, Remus followed them into slumber.
-------------------------------------
Remus turned in the bed, feeling a lot lighter than he did when he fell back asleep. The other side of the bed felt cold, alarming him. He slowly opened his eyes, the sunlight nearly blinding him as it shone into the room. Looking at the clock, it had only been about an hour and a half since they fell asleep. He groaned as he gently pushed himself up, feeling the aches from gifting Harry with being in his arms. He looked at his bedside table, finding a glass of water and a pepper-up potion, along with his cane. Remus downed both the potion and water, using the cane to help get his aching body out of bed.
So much for pushing twenty-three, old man. He thought to himself, criticizing the fact that he was still in so much pain. He changed into a Beatles t-shirt, deciding the sweatpants could stay.
Remus heard bright laughter as he walked down the hallway of their cottage, finding an overly endearing sight. Sirius was transformed as Padfoot, chasing the little boy around the living room, rolling onto their back to show that Harry had beaten them at whatever game they were playing.
Remus walked into the living room, settling onto the couch, observing as Padfoot got back up and went over to Harry, nudging him with their snout to run again. Harry, instead, ran towards Remus, screaming his name joyfully.
“Moo’y! Moo’y! It Pa’foo’ dog!”
“I see that, bug. What were you two doing?” Remus asked, bending down with a grunt to help Harry climb up onto the couch.
“Tag!” He blurted out, still giggly and settling half on Remus’ lap.
Padfoot walked over, holding Harry’s bottle in their mouth. They jumped onto the couch, on the other side of Remus, dropping the bottle into the toddler’s waiting hands. The dog slumped down laying their head on Remus’ thigh, making a whiny noise.
“Want some head pats?” Remus asked. Padfoot barked. That would be a yes.
Remus sighed, knowing that if Sirius was in their Padfoot form, they needed to be away from their mind for a bit. He didn’t mind it one bit, would do whatever Sirius needed today.
Remus set his hand on Padfoot’s head and started running his fingers through the thick black fur. The dog let out a sigh of relief. Harry, who had snuggled into Remus’ side, suddenly jumped up, tugging on Remus’ arm.
“Hung’y!”
“You want some food, love?” Harry nodded. Remus looked down at the dog, wondering if they were hungry as well. Padfoot looked up and gave a small bark.
Remus sighed, having wanted to get at least a few minutes of rest for his body. But he needed to care for his family, and that mattered more. He shifted Padfoot so they could continue to lay on the couch as he and Harry walked hand in hand to the kitchen.
Harry stepped onto the chair that was still there from earlier, though the mess that had been left behind was mysteriously cleaned up. Remus shrugged it off and got the supplies needed to make a couple of sandwiches for himself and Sirius, and a cheese toastie for Harry.
Harry had brought Prongs along with him again, though halfway through making the plush walk along the counter in front of him, he bounced off the chair, heading straight back to his room.
“Haz? Love, what’s wrong?” Remus called out, going to the doorway, not wanting to get too far from the stove or from Harry. The little one came bounding down with a different plush in hand, calling out to the dog still on the couch.
“Pa’foo’! Pa’foo’! Ha’e Moo’s!” He exclaimed handing the plush wolf to Padfoot. The dog looked at the plush that sat next to them, then proceeded to drag it over to lay their head on top of with their paw. Remus’ heart nearly gave out. How had he gotten so lucky to have a partner who loved him in every form? Be it human, wolf, or plush. He couldn’t shake the tears that started to slowly fall down his cheeks.
Harry came running back, crashing into Remus’ legs, wrapping his arms around his knees. He looked up, features briefly growing worried. He tugged on Remus’ sweatpants leg.
“Wha’ wro’, Moo’y?”
Remus looked down at the toddle, wiping away some tears, and gave a gentle smile. “Nothing, bug. I’m just very happy.”
“So cry?” He asked innocently.
Remus chuckled and nodded his head. “Sometimes. Sometimes we cry because of how joyful we feel.”
Harry simply nodded, not fully taking in what was said. Remus patted his head and indicated to go back to the counter.
The two of them put together some ham sandwiches and took the plates into the living room, where Sirius was now sitting legs crossed on the couch, clutching the plush. They had changed into black sweatpants and one of Remus’ green jumpers. Harry made grabby hands towards Sirius, who picked the excited toddler up and had him settle onto their lap. Remus sat next to them, setting their plates on the table in front of them, putting a grounding hand on Sirius’ knee.
“Alright, cariad?”
“Yeah, just needed to get some excess energy out. And we had a lot of fun, didn’t we Prongslet?”
“Dog! Woof!”
The adults chuckled at Harry’s excitement. They all went about eating, sitting in comfortable silence as they did so. After a few minutes, Harry jumped off the couch and went over to his play corner, picking up some blocks.
Remus and Sirius settled on the couch, having magicked the empty plates back into the kitchen to be dealt with later. Sirius leaned into Remus’ side, setting their head onto his shoulder. Remus started running his fingers along Sirius’ scalp. Sirius sighed in relief, taking Remus’ free hand in both of their own.
Remus broke the silence with a whispered question. “Anything special you want to do today?”
Sirius groaned. “Can we please treat today as though it were any other Wednesday?”
“Sweetheart, I just wanted-”
“I know, Moons. I understand and I appreciate it. I just-” they huffed out a hurt sigh, “It doesn’t feel the same without them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful to have you and Prongslet here, but…” they trailed off without finishing the sentence.
“It’s okay, Pads. I get it.” He kissed the crown of their head. “Do you maybe just want to make something special for dinner and I can give you your present later?” He enticed.
Sirius did in fact perk up at the sound of a present, though only slightly. They nodded solemnly. “Yeah, we can do that. Though you really didn’t need to get me anything, Moonshine.”
Remus breathed out a laugh. “It’d be like any other day of the week when I pass a store and saw something you’d like.”
“I would’ve considered breakfast in bed a gift.”
“Well,” Remus started, nudging Sirius up to hold their jaw in hand, “luckily for you, this present is simple but meaningful. I promise you’ll love it.”
Sirius’ smile was dopy and affectionate. There was a small crash that took them both out of the moment, and they turned to find Harry starting to tear up. The block castle he had been building came crashing down, leaving the toddler distressed.
Sirius got up and helped soothe Harry. “It’s okay, Sprog. Do you want Padfoot to help you rebuild it?”
Harry sniffed then shook his head violently. “P’esen’ fo’ you.” He said through hiccups.
Sirius melted in the spot, wiping Harry’s tears away. “How about we work on the castle together? That would be the best present of all!”
Harry got excited. “‘eally?”
“Yes, love. The absolute most wonderful gift I could get.” They said in a giddy tone.
“O’ay!” The two-year-old squeaked, running into Sirius’ arms. He backed off after a moment and looked over to Remus.
“Moo’y!”
“Yes, bug?”
“He’p too?”
Remus looked over to Sirius who was smiling back softly. He nodded his head to the toddler.
“Of course I’ll help, anwyl.” He said getting up from his place on the couch.
He walked to where Sirius was sitting on their knees already starting to help Harry assemble the base level. Sirius looked up, likely trying to assess if Remus would want help. He shook his head and Sirius turned their attention back to Harry, though Remus could still feel them watching out of the corner of their eye.
He was quite appreciative of the fact that Sirius gave him the option of asking for help. It had been a long battle to get to that point, but, nonetheless, it meant that Sirius respected Remus’ boundaries of self-control.
Remus slowly sat on the floor, grabbing a couch cushion and placing it under his butt so he didn’t have to sit on the hardwood floor. He did lean on Sirius’ shoulder when he went to move his leg under him, but other than that, he made it safely to the ground with no help. Sirius beamed at him.
Harry must’ve been happy too, “Moo’y! Moo’y!”
He was suddenly in Remus’ lap while Sirius laughed loudly. Remus shook his head fondly, rubbing the toddler’s back. Harry turned and sat in Remus’ lap while the three of them rebuilt the fallen castle.
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Remus was adding the final touches to the traditional biryani he was making from Effie’s cookbook. If there was one thing that could make Sirius feel better or closer to the Potters, it was Effie’s cooking. She had a way of including them in everything even though she wasn’t the one who raised them. Never made them feel like they weren’t part of the family. She was always meant to be their mother and everyone knew it.
He added in the last of the rice, leveling it and placing the lid on the pot he was cooking in. He got the table ready while it cooked through, hoping that he made it well. Though they didn’t make the meal often, he always tried his best to replicate what Effie had done. It brought comfort to Sirius and gave Harry a piece of the culture that he would continue to be taught as he got older. Sirius made sure from day one of having Harry that he was to know his Indian background, especially since James prided himself on showing Harry everything when he was still just a little baby. Remus felt horrible that the first Diwali without James wasn’t being celebrated properly as the first night was the same day as the full moon, leaving Remus unable to do anything. But he promised himself, and James, that the following year they’d celebrate the holiday properly.
Now, though, they tried their hardest to incorporate all their cultures into the Black-Lupin-Potter household. Welsh and Indian were the primary ones taught, with some Irish and French traditions making appearances as well for Lily and Sirius. So even if Remus did muck up the meal, it was the thought that counted. He tried and would work hard to fix it next time for Harry’s sake.
As Remus set the last cup down, Sirius came into the kitchen, Harry in their arms sitting on their hip. They took a deep breath in, filling their senses with the aromas of the room.
“Effie’s?” Sirius questioned with a small smile on their face.
“Only the best for you, Starshine.” Remus replied, giving Sirius a chaste kiss on the cheek.
“Uck.” Harry proclaimed, throwing his head into the crook of Sirius’ neck.
“S’matter, Sprog? Jealous?”
“No. Ju’t weird.” He admitted innocently.
Sirius chuckled and set him down on the chair next to them. Remus served everyone, glaring at Sirius a bit when they tried to help him. He sat down and looked at his partner and the little boy sat across from him.
Sirius was helping Harry learn how to eat the biryani properly with his hands, mixing the yogurt and spices with the rice and chicken. They were so enthralled in what they were doing, essentially feeding Harry, that their plate remained untouched. Their legs had naturally intertwined under the table, Remus slightly kicking his own to get Sirius’ attention.
Throughout the day, Sirius had been down, deeply missing their best friends. They walked around with a smile on their face for Harry, but their eyes told a different story. However, one would never be able to tell, now, by the smile that lit up their face. They looked at Remus with a special shine in their expressions, grey eyes finally gleaming. Remus’ face softened, staring lovingly at this wonderful person.
“Everything okay, Moons?”
“Of course.” Remus answered. “Please just make sure you eat as well. I need to know if I made it right.”
Sirius started to giggle, rolling their eyes fondly. They picked up some of the rice and chicken and ate it, a near moan escaping their throat a moment after it hit their tongue.
After swallowing, they looked at Remus with an expression of grateful astonishment. “Moony, how did you get it to taste just like hers?” They were close to tears.
“I guess trial and error from my last attempts.”
“It’s delicious. Seriously, this is the best I’ve had in years.”
Remus blushed a bit from the praise, a shy smile forming on his face. Sirius nudged Harry, getting him to compliment the food as well. “Yum!” he said while giggling. They continued to eat, silence filling the space from everyone enjoying the meal.
Remus stole glances at his partner, still in awe of their beauty and how strong they were after a year of missing two of the most important people in both of their lives. Sirius would make eye contact back, love found deep in their eyes.
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Sirius walked into their bedroom, coming back from putting Harry to bed, a small yawn escaping them. After dinner, the three of them enjoyed a tiny vanilla and chocolate cake that Remus had ordered from a local bakery. Harry gave yet another “present” in the form of letting Sirius hold onto the wolf plush for the rest of the night.
According to him, “You s’eep wit’ ‘im. You nee’ mo’e.”
So, Moons sat on Sirius’ bedside table. Sirius took off the jumper they had been wearing and quickly changed into a pair of red and gold plaid pajama pants. Sirius patted the wolf’s head when they slipped under the covers next to Remus, who was sitting up against the headboard reading a book, now changed into a brown jumper and dark grey pajama bottoms. Sirius moved Remus’ arm to be draped across their chest, snuggling up into his side. They let out a contented sigh and relaxed immediately.
Remus set his book down, moving his glasses to rest on top of the book. He looked at Sirius affectionately, using the hand that wasn’t in Sirius’ to get their attention. He held Sirius’ face as he moved their head so they could make eye contact. Sirius had a melancholic expression, a bright smile saying everything was okay, but their eyes held deep sadness. Remus captured their lips in a long, passionate kiss. Nothing moved forward and it was just them kissing, being in each other’s arms.
Sirius pulled back first, laying their head on Remus’ chest, likely listening to his heartbeat. It was what they did to soothe themself to sleep- which Remus did not want them doing. He indicated as such, getting them back up.
“Cariad, I still need to give you your gift. Don’t go to sleep just yet.” He spoke softly.
It was only a quarter past ten, so it was still relatively early in the night. Sirius made a small whiny noise, clearly not wanting to get up from their comfy position. Remus rolled his eyes and chuckled, pushing Sirius to sit up on their own. Sirius pouted, making a mock angry face and sticking their bottom lip out, folding their arms over their chest. They looked like Harry when he threw a tantrum, it was adorable.
Remus kissed their cheek then reached into his bedside table drawer and pulled out a small square box wrapped in plain, brown paper-bag-like wrapping. Sirius looked at the box confused as to what it could be. With their brows furrowed and a small frown on their face, they started unwrapping the paper, finding a red velvet box. Not small enough to be a ring, but still on the smaller side. They opened the box, the item facing them, and not Remus, and their eyes lit up, a small gasp being released.
Sirius looked at Remus, in awe, tears filling their eyes. “Moons…” They started, not finishing the sentence, likely from shock.
“Open it.” Remus quietly said with a smile.
Sirius pulled a gold oval-shaped locket with a moon and star on the front out of the box, opened it, and immediately let out a sob. Inside was a picture of the Potters: James, Effie, Monty, and Sirius on the left side, and a picture of James, Lily, Sirius, Harry, and Remus on the right side. They continued to stare at the locket for a moment, the pictures coming alive so Sirius could see the bright laugh Effie let out and the genuine smile and fond eye roll Lily was giving to James. Sirius threw themself onto Remus, nearly choking him with how tight they wrapped their arms around his neck.
“Moony, I- I love this.” They sobbed into his neck.
“I figured this way you still had them close to your heart. Plus,” Remus paused peeling Sirius off of him, and holding their hands, “now you still have Effie’s smile and James’ laugh. And you can show it to Harry one day and tell him all about them.”
“Where did you even find the one with mum and dad?”
“Apparently, you sent a copy to Andromeda after you moved in with them to show her you were okay. I asked if she could help me with this.”
Remus had planned out this gift for a few months. When Harry’s second birthday passed, Sirius had mentioned wanting something to not only show Harry who his family was but that they could also cherish. Hope had given Remus the locket for Sirius, and Remus had Andromeda help to find the pictures. He wanted Sirius to have their family with them at all times.
Sirius broke down crying again, a smile filling their face. They grabbed Remus’ face and kissed him all over his face, Remus started to giggle. He held onto his favorite person, letting them express their feelings in whatever way they needed. When Sirius backed off, they were looking at Remus with such devotion and giddiness; Remus thought the smile would end up causing an ache in Sirius’ cheeks. They handed the necklace to Remus, looking at him expectantly.
“Pick up your hair, Starshine.”
Remus opened the clasp and wrapped the necklace around their neck, securing it safely. He pulled them in for a kiss, laying back with them so that Sirius had to lie on top of him. Remus pulled back, admiring the beautiful face that was a mere few inches away from him. He knew he needed to bring up the events from earlier, Sirius needed to talk about it. But he didn’t want to disturb the peace, nor upset them when they deserved pure happiness.
Sirius’ expression turned slightly wistful, their eyes losing some of the brightness they had a moment ago. As if reading Remus’ mind, “I know we need to talk about it.”
“Cariad, we don’t need to do a single thing you don’t-”
“It wasn’t fair of me to try to dismiss your attempts to give me a wonderful day.”
Remus sighed, hoping they didn’t lose the lovely moment they were having a second prior. Sirius fell onto their side, snuggling into Remus’ side, laying their head on his shoulder and playing with his hand.
“I miss them. Immensely,” Sirius began saying, “There isn’t much I wouldn’t do to get them back. I just fell- I don’t know.”
“Does it feel wrong to celebrate without them?”
Sirius hummed and looked up to meet Remus’ eyes, “Yeah, a bit.”
Remus closed his eyes, letting out a huff of breath, feeling defeated. Before he got a moment to speak, Sirius spoke again. “I know that I have to get over it and be able to celebrate today as if it were any other year when I’d go crazy trying to stretch out the celebrations for as long as possible-”
“You don’t, Starshine. I understand”
“Moons, how am I supposed to celebrate every year when it’s so close to-” they let out a sob. Remus reacted fast, running his fingers along Sirius’ arm and rubbing soothing circles into their back.
“That’s why we don’t need to do more than you can.”
Sirius sighed and nodded, grabbing at Remus’ hand that was running along their arm. They played with each finger, bending them back and separating them from each other. Solemnly they questioned, “James is proud, right?”
Remus pulled them close, having them lay their head on his chest. “Listen to me very closely,” he stated firmly, “James was the person who always cheered you on the loudest. He was your biggest supporter and still is. You said earlier you felt him here, right?” Sirius nodded. “Exactly. He wouldn’t be here with us if he wasn’t proud. James loved you so much. There is no doubt about it. And if he didn’t trust you’re ability to raise Harry, he and Lily wouldn’t have made you his Godfather.”
“But,” Sirius sniffled, Remus feeling wetness on his clothed chest, “how do I know he’d be proud?”
“Cariad, I bet you he is sitting on this bed shaking his head and trying to scream profanities for not trusting that he’d be proud of you. I don’t think he was ever not proud.” Sirius went to speak but Remus cut him off. “And no, the situation in Fifth year doesn’t count. We’ve already discussed that ad nasuem. I’ll reassure you as much as you need, but please know that he’d be so grateful for you. He’d be so incredibly pleased with everything that you do, not only for Harry, but for yourself.”
Silence fell over the room. Only their breathing having been heard. Remus hoped that he hadn’t said the wrong things, that what he said was enough to help reassure Sirius at least for now. He really would repeat those words to his partner as many times as needed.
“Moons?”
“Yes, Padfoot?”
Sirius turned to look at Remus, a small smile on their face. “I love you.”
Remus silently laughed, his chest shaking. “I love you too, sweetheart. Do you feel any better?”
“Yeah. Thank you for today. I needed it. And I really appreciate it. Means the world.”
“Of course, Starshine. Anything for you.” He kissed the crown of their head. “Get some sleep, you have a shift tomorrow at Mungo’s.”
“Night, Moonbeam.”
Sirius’ breathing soon evened out and they fell asleep on Remus’ chest, listening closely to his steady heartbeat. Just like they did every night.