Chapter Text
17th February 1965
Small high-pitched yips and wails were heard through the steel door Lyall had built in the shed in the back garden. It took everything inside of Hope not to slam through the one thing between her and her baby boy. Her absolute pride and joy.
Lyall was sitting behind her, practically holding her back from running to help their son. He was slowly nodding off, both of them having been up the entire night. Hope’s blue eyes were heavy, just barely able to keep them open— but the whines and clawing kept her awake.
Early in the night, not too long after the transformation happened, she peered into the room through a small window in the door and saw something that wasn’t her son. A tiny little wolf cub, no bigger than a husky puppy with brown and white fur, the biggest amber eyes, and the saddest expression on his face stared up at Hope. How could Lyall say that was a dangerous creature? He looked like the most precious baby who just needed love. He had given a small howl and whine when he saw Hope, and Lyall immediately pulled her away, bringing her to his shoulder as she bawled her eyes out.
Eyes red and a determined brow on her face, she stared at the door, willing it to open so she could be with her son. She looked out the window of the shed and saw that the sky was losing its midnight blue and stars, trading from a warm orange and sun. Not too much longer then. She turned back to her son behind the door.
“Darling, you should try to get at least a few minutes of sleep.” Lyall urged.
“I’ll sleep when I know he’s okay.” Hope calmly said back.
“We won’t know that for a while. It could take a day to know that.”
“Then I won’t sleep until tomorrow.”
Lyall sighed, knowing that Hope’s stubbornness and willingness to do whatever needed for her family was to not be challenged. He moved forward, wrapping his arms around her middle and splaying his legs out beside hers. He placed his chin on her shoulder and ran a calm hand up and down her arm. She started to tremble.
“He’s going to be okay. He has to be. He will be. I know it.” Hope pleaded to herself quietly.
“Sh, I know, love. It’ll be okay.” Lyall attempted to soothe.
Hope started to cry again, needing the sun to rise and for her son to be in her arms, safe and sound.
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She didn’t know when but she must’ve briefly fallen asleep, having been awoken by the sounds of what was presumably the reversal transformation. Howls mixed with a wailing cry were heard through the door, causing Hope to clamber up trying to tear the door down. Through it, she could see her son becoming himself again, but he was in agony.
“Lyall, open this door right now!”
Lyall, who had fallen backward when Hope jumped up, got himself back onto his feet and walked over to Hope. He pulled at her to get her away from the door, but she stood firm, watching her baby turn from a wolf cub back to the shy, playful four-year-old that she knew.
“Love, I need to take the lock off, so I need you to just step aside a bit. Please?” He reasoned with her.
She looked at him with wild eyes, needing to get into the room so she could hold their son. But when she was met with calm, kind brown eyes, almost exactly like the ones frequently found on the boy in the room, she eased and moved over.
Lyall was quick with getting the lock off, but still paused a moment. “Just wait until the transformation is completely through. It’s safer for both of you that way.”
“Are you having a laugh? You think I’m going to-”
“Ma! Mummy!” A small, hurt voice wailed, cutting Hope’s thought off.
Hope’s attention immediately went to her son. Through the door, she could see brown hair flattened by sweat and grime, amber eyes turning back into a more honey-brown, tiny paws becoming fragile hands, and the cub becoming Remus, her Remus, again. She looked at Lyall, desperate to get into the room.
After another moment of hesitation, he allowed her to enter the space that held their child. She rushed down to hold him as he fell limp onto the cold, concrete floor- the transformation coming to an end. She picked up his tiny body and felt little arms wrap themselves around her waist and a face dig itself into her stomach.
“Oh, cariad, I’m here. I’m so sorry, my love.” She held Remus tightly, putting pressure on his back so he knew she was there.
“Mam, it hurts.” He mumbled out.
“What hurts, Remus?”
“Everything, make it stop.” He started to cry, tears soaking through Hope’s dress.
Lyall walked over and put a hand on both Remus’ back and Hope’s shoulder.
“It’s okay, son, let it out. What do you need?” He asked calmly.
“Winnie.” He clutched harder at Hope’s dress.
Lyall leaned in to whisper into Hope’s ear. “Darling, let’s take him back into the cottage and clean him up. I have some potions and salves for the wounds.”
At the utterance of the last word, Hope’s head shot up, concern filling her features. She looked down at Remus’ small body and saw open cuts on his hands and legs. How could she have missed that? How could she have not seen that her son was hurt?
Lyall went to grab Remus to allow Hope to get up, but he only tightened his arms. Hope changed his position so that his arms were around her neck and his legs were around her waist. It was so reminiscent of when he was a baby and he would refuse to leave Hope’s side. Lyall wrapped a blanket around them and they scurried out of the shed.
The three of them made their way back to the cottage, the sun shining down on them and providing a little bit of warmth on the very early and very cold winter morning. With each step, Remus clung harder to Hope and trembled in her arms. He let out small groans of pain and tears flowed down his face. Hope was close to crying as well, but she held strong.
They made it into the cottage and to the bathroom. With Lyall’s help, Hope got a bath ready to go for Remus, a magical bath potion having been added to help soothe the aches in their son’s body. The issue was that Remus refused to let go.
“Baby, we need to clean you up, so you have to let go.” Hope pleaded softly.
“No.” Remus softly whined.
Hope sighed. “Please, cariad. It’ll help you feel better.”
“No!”
Lyall walked over to them and tried to urge Remus off. “Remus, please, let us help you.”
“Winnie! I need Winnie to help!” He sobbed as tears flowed faster down his eyes.
Lyall quickly ran to Remus’ room and collected the stuffed bear. He came back and showed it to Remus, and the boy immediately relaxed, reaching his arms out.
“You can get him once we get you cleaned up, okay? He can sit right here on the loo. He’d want you to feel better.” Lyall kindly said with a slightly stern tone.
Remus didn’t seem to agree as he started to cry out again, but Hope was able to disconnect him from her body, placing him in the warm, medicated water. It was a mistake in Hope’s mind.
When the water hit Remus’ skin, he let out a terrifying scream, wails following shortly after. Hope’s heart broke. How could she hurt her child like this?
“Lyall, please, there has to be a better way!”
“We could use a cloth and hand wash him, but it’d take longer.”
“I don’t care, whatever we can do to prevent him further pain I will do.” Hope sobbed.
Lyall nodded, grabbing a towel and picking his son up from the bathtub. The three (plus Winnie, Hope remembering to grab him), made their way to Remus’ bedroom. Lyall laid Remus down on his bed gently.
“No, it hurts! I want Winnie! Mummy make the pain stop!” Remus whined as he squirmed in the bed from Lyall’s touch.
“Just another few minutes, love. Let us clean you up.” Lyall reasoned.
The urgency and terror in her son’s voice made Hope freeze. She held him through all of it and with a few more swipes of the washcloth on Remus’ body, he slowly but surely got cleaner. Hope made sure to apply the salves and wrap the wounds with bandages. There weren’t many but they were causing him a great deal of pain.
Once they got Remus cleaned up and dressed in his favorite dinosaur pajamas, Hope tenderly placed Winnie in Remus’ arms, the young boy holding it close to his chest, crying into its head.
“Cariad, we need to give you some medication. Sit up.” Hope spoke, sitting on the edge of the bed, attempting to get Remus’ top half up.
He wiggled away from Hope’s touch, but she held strong, laying him on her chest. He eased immediately, Winnie still in his arms. Lyall came over with a couple of potion vials, sitting on Remus’ other side to get him to drink them.
“Come on, love, this will make you feel better. I promise.”
“But it’ll taste bad.”
“Oh, cariad, I know it doesn’t taste nice, but you need to take your medication. I’ll get you a cup of juice for after, would that be okay?” Hope asked warmly, carding her fingers gently through Remus’ tangled curls.
Remus made a dissatisfied sound but obliged to what his parents asked of him. He took both vials and Hope hurriedly got a small glass of apple juice for him.
Despite all this, he still let out small moans of pain, barely able to be touched by anything. He eventually settled, tears slowly flowing down his cheeks. Hope was lying with him, running a hand through his hair, singing a Welsh lullaby to soothe him.
Remus slowly fell asleep, small snores escaping him. Hope watched as he slept for a little while until Lyall reentered the room, a cup of tea in his hand.
“Darling, come to bed, we need to let him rest.”
“I’m perfectly fine where I am.”
Lyall set the cup on the bedside table and sat on the floor next to the bed. He placed a hand on Remus’ face, wiping away some dried-up tears on his cheek. All Hope was able to do was stare at Remus’ precious face. There was a tiny cut on his cheek, but aside from that he was perfect— just an absolutely perfect boy.
What, however, was going to happen in the future? This was only the first of hundreds of full moons he’d experienced. Surely there was a cure for it. There had to be a way to prevent her baby boy from experiencing this excruciating pain every single month. She’d hardly be able to watch it happen, which didn’t compare to how much she agonized over the fact that Remus would be experiencing it and not her. She’d take his pain any day to shield him from it.
Lyall grabbed Hope’s hand, taking her out of her trance. She looked at him, both having tired eyes and sleepy expressions. He had a small smile of adoration on his face.
“My love, you need to get some sleep as well. He’ll be alright here. I promise.”
“I can’t leave him alone. What if he wakes up in pain? Who’ll be there to soothe him?”
“We’re right next door.”
“But what if one of the bandages comes off and he somehow-”
“You tied them well, dear, they’ll last for a while.”
“Anwyl, what if-”
“Sweetheart, listen to me please.” Lyall begged. He leaned over Remus and brought Hope’s forehead to his own. “We can’t watch his every move. I know you’re scared because of what happened,” Hope let out a grunt of a laugh, “But there are more protective charms up and I’ve ensured that during and after the moons, Remus will be safe here in and around the cottage.”
Hope still didn’t fully believe him. Not because she thought he was lying, but because this was her son. Her only child. The person she loved most in this world aside from Lyall himself. He was the most important thing to her. She couldn’t let a single hair on his body get hurt.
“Please, Ly, I can’t. I need to stay here.” She implored. He sighed in resignation, nodding his head a little. He stood up and left the room, confusing Hope. Normally he would’ve fought his point a little harder or found a way to accommodate both sides. His ease in giving in this time around concerned her.
That is until he walked back in with a pillow and blanket in hand, placing both on the floor next to the bed. He got himself comfortable, but reached for the cup of tea again, trying to hand it to Hope. When she peered at him with confusion in her eyes, he spoke up.
“We’ll sleep in here for a little bit. But two conditions: one, only for right now. We sleep in our room in our very comfortable bed tonight. And two, at least have a cup of tea. You need something in your system, dear.”
She couldn’t love this man more. He understood her so well and provided her with options to continue in a way that worked for both of them. He truly was the best. She took the tea from him and drank it all. Lyall gave a small smile and disappeared to the floor once Hope was finished.
Hope laid down next to Remus, keeping a hand on his arm as reassurance. She hummed another Welsh lullaby to him as she drifted off to sleep.
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Hope woke up sometime later to small whimpers and Remus tossing and turning. She wrapped an arm around him, holding him close to her chest, pressing his ear to the place where her heart could be heard. Remus slowly woke up, still whimpering, but calmer.
“Mam?” He whispered.
“Yes, cariad?” She whispered back, placing a hand on his head.
“It still hurts.”
“What hurts?”
“Everything. My arms. My legs. My throat. Make it stop.” He sounded like a 30-year smoker with how gravelly his voice was. She sighed, knowing there was likely nothing she could do about it. She looked on the floor and saw that Lyall was no longer asleep there, but smelled eggs and sausages from the kitchen.
“Do you want to get up so we can have some breakfast?”
“No thank you. I’m not hungry.” He politely said with a small groan.
“How about, you eat some eggs and we can listen to your Winnie the Pooh record?”
There was a small pause and a gentle sniffle followed closely by a tiny nod of the head. Hope kissed Remus’ head, got off the bed, and picked him (and Winnie) up. The child placed his head on Hope’s shoulder and wrapped his arms loosely around her neck.
She walked into their small kitchen, Lyall at the stove taking the last of the eggs off the pan and placing it onto a plate. He looked up and warmly smiled at the sight of his family.
“Well good morning, sleepy heads. How are you, Remus?”
Remus buried his face more into Hope’s neck, avoiding his father. Hope gave a sad look. “Do you have one of those…what do you call it? A pain potion?”
“Still feeling aches, then are we?”
Remus nodded his head. Lyall hummed in understanding. “Well, I have something here that’ll help you, at least for a little bit. Take your medication and eat. You’ll feel better. And if you behave, maybe you’ll get a little chocolate treat.”
At the word ‘chocolate’, Remus turned his head towards his father, lighting up a little bit. Hope giggled knowing he got his sweet tooth from her. She sat at the kitchen table with Remus in her lap, head now lying on her chest. Lyall set a plate of eggs, toast, and sausages in front of her, along with another cup of tea. He then put a smaller plate filled with eggs beside it along with a glass of water. He left the room, likely grabbing the potion.
“Sweetheart, you need to eat.”
Remus made a noise of disapproval. “My throat hurts.”
Lyall returned with a similar-looking vial from earlier and sat in the chair next to Hope, leaning in to speak with Remus.
“Alright, lad, you need to drink this.”
“No! It tastes funny.”
“Baby, it’s going to make you feel better. I promise.” Hope reassured him. He wiggled a little bit, likely not believing her, but sighed.
“Winnie and choco?” He asked kindly.
“Yes, son, you can listen to Winnie and have some chocolate, just like we discussed.” Hope laughed.
She looked at Lyall, who was staring back with a fond smile plastered on his face. “He’s going to be a smart one, what with the negotiations he makes. Will have everyone wrapped around his finger.” He joked as he tickled Remus' belly.
Remus started to giggle, seemingly enjoying the attention, but then began coughing and groaning. Hope moved him so that he was chest to chest, her rubbing his back to soothe the cough.
“Sh, let it out, baby. I know. Ly?”
Lyall tipped the vial into Remus’ mouth who was protesting and fighting against it. It took a few minutes, but they were eventually able to get the potion into Remus’ system and settle him. He sniffled and started to shift in Hope’s lap.
“Do you want me to give you some of your eggs, cariad?” Hope questioned, hoping his appetite was actually there.
“No, I’m not hungry.” Remus grumbled, letting out a small yawn.
“What if, I give you a tiny piece of chocolate and then you eat your eggs? And you can have the rest of the chocolate after?” Lyall reasoned. This boy really was a negotiator.
Remus thought for a moment and agreed to the terms. Lyall gave half a square of the chocolate bar he took out and Remus happily ate it. While he was still clearly in pain, his joyful and curious nature was still very much intact. Hope wished that that never went away for him.
They all ate in silence, Lyall feeding Remus while Hope hummed a radio tune to distract the little boy from his pain. His honey-brown eyes were returning to their normal mischievous quality, and his skin gained more color. Hope removed the bandages from Remus’ hands and frowned when seeing the scars that were left on them. She kissed each one, promising they would heal in a few days.
However, Lyall gave a small shake of his head. Hope looked at him horrified, but he had his wife and child sit in the living room’s rocking chair and placed Remus’ favorite Winnie the Pooh record on so he’d fall asleep for a nap. Despite her concern, Hope put on a happy face and murmured another Welsh lullaby to ease Remus to sleep as he heard the familiar and lovable story of his favorite bear.
Hope was still rocking softly, Remus snoring on her chest, his fist still clutching the stuffed bear in his hand tightly. Lyall came back over and ran a hand through Hope’s hair. He leaned down to kiss her cheek.
“Darling, do you want me to take him so you can change and take a shower?” He offered.
“In a moment. Why did you shake your head?” she interrogated.
Lyall sighed and took his wife’s hand, crouching down to look up at her. His warm brown eyes were filled with sorrow.
“My love, they are scars created from magic, they’re not going to go away.” He regretfully said.
Hope started to feel herself shake. Her baby boy was going to have to live with the reminders of his most painful night forever. Yes, it would be something he’d be forced to think about monthly, but Hope figured he could forget about it once the scars healed. She had never hated herself more for being wrong.
“We are going to do everything we can to ensure that Remus has a full life filled with love, okay? We will get him through this every single month. I promise.” Lyall replied, voice filled with so much conviction.
Hope no longer wanted to let go of her son. She wanted to hold him forever in her arms, proof of when he was still happy and full of life. She could tell that this infliction would cause him greater pain than she originally believed. And while she was determined to hide that pain and help make it better, she also understood that that was child’s play. It would never happen. He was going to be subjected to not only painful monthly reminders of his condition but daily reminders as well.
She thought about it for a moment and realized that she would do everything in her power to make sure he continued to feel beautiful and knew just how perfect he was with the scars. They didn’t take away from his beauty, only enhanced it and made him more of her son. Her precious baby boy.
She held him closer, carding her fingers through his curls as she continued to rock Remus in his sleep and hum the same Welsh lullaby. Lyall didn’t leave their side once, placing a hand on Remus’ leg and rubbing small circles over the fabric of his pajamas.
Hope was going to get Remus through this. That was her promise to her son for the rest of his life.