Chapter Text
Labored breathing came from the back door, gentle words being whispered most likely into Remus’ ear. Usually, Sirius would bring Remus up to the bathroom first to clean him off and get a proper assessment of the injuries Remus had gotten. Harry’s godfather would call for him or Lyall a few minutes later, requesting a special tea be made for the struggling werewolf, and either would do as told. That had been the routine for the last three years since Harry demanded to be home more so he could help care for his uncle.
That did not happen tonight.
“Lyall! Call for Poppy, now!” Sirius called out from the kitchen, where Harry heard a thud hit the floor. Harry quickly scurried over to the noise, knowing his guardians were in there. He looked towards Lyall, deep asleep in Remus’ armchair.
He was met with a horrifying sight: Remus lying on the floor unconscious, with large gashes over his chest and blood pooling onto the floor. There was also a terrible bend to his leg, which had another nasty-looking cut on the thigh. Sirius whipped his head around, eyeing the 11-year-old, his grey eyes wide and filled with tears. He had a smear of dirt over his forehead and a cut on his cheek.
“Harry? Where’s Lyall? Did something happen?”
“He fell asleep,” Harry spoke, voice soft and struggling to hide the fear he felt. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Remus.
Sirius groaned, blinking away possible tears, “Okay, alright, that’s fine.” He took a breath and spoke more calmly, “Er, can you please do me a favor? Wake Lyall and get Poppy. Can you do that?”
Harry simply nodded, trying not to let out the sob and bile he could feel bubbling up. He threw some Floo powder into the fireplace, calling for Poppy Pomfrey. Her head appeared a few moments later, clearly having been woken from sleep.
“Hello?” She asked.
“Poppy? It’s Harry, Sirius and Remus’ godson?”
“Oh, dear, hello, is everything alright? Does Sirius need me to come help with Remus? Normally, he has it all under control.”
Normally, Sirius really would have it under control, what with his nearly decade-long career as a Healer and abilities to stay calm under pressure. Tonight clearly wasn’t going to be one of those nights.
“Please, something’s wrong, I think. Remus looked…” He started to feel bile come up, and a sob escaped him.
“Oh, love, hold on, I’ll be there in a jiffy.” The kind woman spoke. Her face disappeared, scaring Harry more. He moved to wake Lyall, shaking him slightly until the older man grumbled, blinking his eyes open.
“Haz? What happened?”
The next thing he knew, Poppy was popping into the living room of the cottage. She peered down at the two staring at her, zeroing in on Harry’s sad, scared figure, and gave him a warm smile.
“Where are they, lad? I promise everything will be okay.”
Harry led her to the kitchen, Lyall frantically following close behind, finding Sirius working overtime, trying to mend the gashes in Remus’ chest. He was still unconscious. Both adults hurried over beside Sirius, Lyall taking his son’s top half in his lap, looking over the deep gashes on his chest, while Poppy got to work on the gash on his leg, holding the bent leg as delicately as possible. Sirius slumped when the largest of the gashes finally mended itself together, his hand shaking as he wiped sweat from his brow. Harry stared on, frozen and blinking, not knowing what to do. He wanted to help; he felt like he needed to help somehow.
Lyall looked at Sirius and nodded his head towards Harry. The two of them seemed to have a silent argument of head nods and grunts before Sirius sighed and relented, standing up.
Sirius walked over to Harry, the wild eyes from before shifting to ones of concern.
“Haz, go to bed. You don’t need to see this.”
“But, is Moony-”
“Moony,” he spoke as he brought a chair over to sit in front of Harry, “is in the best capable hands he can be in. I promise you, he’ll be okay.”
Harry didn’t believe him. His breathing picked up, and another small sob escaped him, eyes scrunching when he saw Poppy snap the leg back into a straight position. He thought he heard Sirius say something, but he couldn’t be sure; his godfather was hurrying him into the hallway and up the stairs to his bedroom despite his protests and his pushing back on Sirius. He placed a mud-caked hand on Harry’s cheek, wiping away the tears that were falling.
“Hey, let it out. I know you’re scared. Merlin, I’m scared, but he’s been in worse shape before.”
“His leg was bent. Those gashes- The one on your cheek!” Harry cried out, letting his emotions get the best of him. On a good day, he didn’t enjoy discussing his feelings, confused by what it was that was even happening in his mind. On a day like today, when everything was simply too much, Harry found that he couldn’t hide from his emotions.
“What?” Sirius brought the hand to his cheek, wincing when it ran over the blood drying around the edges. He seemed to have forgotten when Harry mentioned it earlier. “Oh, bugger, I’ll have Poppy look at that once we get Remus taken care of.” He looked back at Harry, a sympathetic smile adorning his face. “Remus will be okay. Get some sleep, Prongslet. I’ll imagine you didn’t listen to me when I told you to do so last night?”
Harry shook his head, no longer meeting Sirius’ stare, “I was getting scared when I heard Moony yelp. I thought he was hurt, and Lyall said it was okay if we stayed in the living room, but that I had to read.”
Sirius seemed to file through the memories (which Harry knew were hard to figure out through Padfoot’s mind) and came up empty, his eyes finding Harry’s again. “That honestly may have just been Padfoot nipping at Moony’s ankles.” He took a moment to rub a hand through Harry’s hair, a sigh leaving him. “I’m sorry we scared you, Haz. I promise everything will be okay. Just get some sleep, even a couple of hours, and then you can go see Remus, okay?”
Harry contemplated for a moment. On one hand, he was still terrified for his guardian, the now slight whimpers he heard from the kitchen, making his chest feel tighter, the fear coming in closer. On the other hand, he was feeling quite exhausted, the anxiety of the night getting to him and never allowing him to sleep. He looked over to a shelf next to his messy desk and blinked as he saw the plush toys sitting on it, all still intact from his childhood.
He would occasionally curl up with one when he was feeling particularly scared at night, needing the extra comfort. Harry remembered, briefly, his younger self giving one of the plushes to Remus after the moons, so he had something comforting as well. It was almost easy to decide to do that again, despite not having done it in a couple of years. He walked carefully over to the shelf, picking up both the wolf (Moons) and the black dog (Paddy). He walked back while holding both and handed Paddy over to Sirius, keeping Moons clutched close to his chest.
“Can you give Moony this, please? I think he’s going to need it.” He had a set brow, knowing it was slightly childish of him to do so, but needing to do something to help his guardian.
Sirius took the plush, handling it with care, a smile creeping onto his features. He visibly relaxed. “I’ll make sure he gets this, Prongslet. You take care of Moons, there, okay? Go to sleep.” He stood, waited for Harry to trudge into bed, leaned down, kissing his forehead before mumbling a gentle, “Goodnight,” and walked out the door, knowingly keeping the light on for the scared boy and the door slightly open so he could still make sure everything was alright.
Harry sighed, holding Moons out in front of him, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth as he looked at it. Remus would be okay; he had to be. He was in the best hands with Sirius, Lyall, and Poppy, all seemingly knowing how to care for the werewolf better than anyone else in the wizarding world. Harry forced himself to believe that everything would be alright and took his gold, wire-framed glasses off, setting them on the nightstand next to his bed, beside the photograph he had of his parents. He buried himself under the old patchwork blanket Hope had made and settled in, trying to ignore the pained winces coming from downstairs.
“Good night, Moony. Please be okay.” He whispered into the air, holding the wolf plush closer to him.
Slumber took over a few moments later, Harry falling asleep to the memories of him with his guardians getting ice cream at a local fair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry woke up a few hours later, the sun shining bright into his bedroom. Everything in the house was quiet, only slight creaks and the wind from outside were heard. Moons was still tucked close to his chest, the place it sat feeling extra warm. He grabbed his glasses and slowly got out of bed, continuing to hold the plush in hand.
He made his way slowly from his bedroom across the way to Remus’ and Sirius’ room. The door was ajar, allowing some light to escape from within. Harry poked his head in, finding two figures tucked under a blanket. Sirius’ black curls stuck out from the top, clearly lying on a pillow, while Remus’ dampened chestnut curls were barely noticeable from where it looked like he was lying on Sirius’ chest.
He went to move further into the room when Lyall stopped him, “Harry, let them sleep. It’s been a long night.”
Harry snapped his attention to his adopted grandda, his tired eyes and stern brow telling him to leave his guardians alone. He looked back in the room, desperate to get inside.
He whispered to Lyall, “Can I just make sure they’re breathing? I need to know that Remus is-”
“I can promise you, he’s alive. It was touch and go, but he is doing very well.” Harry looked at the older man again, his eyes wide in worry. Lyall sighed, features softening, “You get one check, no more than that.”
Harry gave a small, appreciative smile and tiptoed into the bedroom, careful not to hit any of the creaky floorboards. His time doing this exact movement when he was younger and had a nightmare made him a pro, never hitting a single one. He observed his guardians, Sirius’ slack features with small snores, and an arm wrapped tightly around Remus’ back, shallow breaths becoming clearer now with the movement of the arm. Remus looked paler than he normally would, a bruise forming under his eye. Paddy was tucked under his arm, the snout under his chin. Harry, satisfied with the proof of his guardians' conditions, patted Remus’ head and tiptoed back out.
He placed the door back to its ajar position and bounded down the staircase, a slower Lyall walking with a small chuckle behind him. Harry hurried over to the kitchen, rushing to make tea and a small breakfast for his guardians. Lyall strode over, eyeing the 11-year-old warily.
“And what are we doing here, bach?” Lyall asked him.
“Padfoot and I used to make Moony breakfast after moons when I was younger. I haven’t done it in a while, but maybe this could help them feel better!” He brightly spoke, placing Moons on the counter and gathering supplies for an egg omelet.
“Hold on, let me do something to help. What else do you need?”
“I need to make them both a cuppa, though I think Padfoot has been giving Moony a special tea for the mornings, I just don’t know which one.”
“I’ll look for that, you get the eggs started, and we can cook it together, alright?”
Harry happily nodded, continuing where he left off. He cracked four eggs, adding a splash of milk and various herbs into a bowl, mixing them up. Lyall had chopped up some of the peppers and bacon pieces and added them in as well. The two made two omelets along with a piece of toast each. Lyall got the tea situated, and Harry placed everything on a tray that he carried, with Moons tucked under his arm, back to his guardians’ room.
Before they opened the door, Harry looked up at Lyall, “What time is it?”
Lyall looked at his wrist, the watch on it ticking with a quiet click, “Almost quarter past eleven. You’re okay to wake them, Haz.”
Harry smiled and pushed the door open, looking at the bed before moving. Sirius was up, combing his fingers through Remus’ curls. It sounded like the other man was purring at the soft touches. Sirius looked up, deep purple circles under his eyes, and the cut on his cheek healed. He smiled at the sight of his godson and father-in-law, not stopping with his movements.
“Morning, Sprog. Good morning, Lyall. Remus should probably be up soon. What’s that you got, Haz?”
Harry worriedly walked over to the bed, setting the tray down on the other side, which was empty, usually reserved for Remus. He didn’t say anything as he looked more closely at Remus’ slumped figure. He wasn’t sure if the gashes were healed, but he could see that there was a pinch to his brows, indicating that he was in pain. Harry wanted to do whatever possible to take his pain away; it wasn’t fair.
“Brought you and Moony food, thought you’d need some.”
“Thank you, Haz. You can join us if you’d like.”
Harry hesitated before carefully getting onto the bed, making sure not to rattle that tray too much. Lyall approached Remus’ sleeping figure and ran a hand through his son’s curls.
“I’ll let you three have some time alone. Do you need anything else, Sirius?”
“You can stay longer, Lyall, you probably need more sleep.”
Lyall waved a hand, indicating that it wasn’t a bother. “You three need your time, and Remus looks like he’s doing just fine. You’ll floo me if anything goes wrong?”
“Of course, Lyall. Thank you for everything.” Sirius whispered, not moving from his place as Remus’ pillow.
“Thank you, bach. I’ll see you next Sunday at King’s Cross.” He smiled and made his way out of the bedroom, then let himself out the front door to reach the Apparition point.
Harry sank into Remus’ pillows when they were alone, handing Sirius his cup of tea. Sirius took a generous sip, letting out a relieved sigh when he was done. He set the cup down on his nightstand, his hand going back to Remus’ hair. The other man still didn’t budge, but it was clear that he was still breathing.
“Padfoot?” Harry questioned with a mumble. Sirius hummed in answer, indicating for Harry to continue. “Is Moony going to be okay?”
“Harry, he’s alright. Last night was one of those rare moons when things went unexpectedly. That won’t happen again for a long time, if ever.”
Harry didn’t like the answer, knowing that another moon like last night had the potential to happen again. Harry would have preferred for there not to be another moon like that. Or, frankly, for there to be no moons at all anymore. He’d very much like to yell at the world to leave his uncle alone and let him not have to endure the harsh realities of being a werewolf ever again.
Sirius took Harry out of his thoughts with a gentle call of his name, “Haz? Can you look after him for a moment? He should probably be up soon.”
“How do you know? Is he going to be okay?”
Sirius snorted, “Well, I’ve been dealing with his post-moon snores for about fifteen years now, I think I know when my husband’s waking up.” Sirius moved Remus carefully to lie on his empty space, a small whimper leaving the werewolf.
“But how do you know he’ll be okay?”
“Does he have Paddy there?” Harry steadily moved to check if his plush was still tucked under Remus’ arm, which it was. Harry nodded to confirm with Sirius. “Then, there ya go. He’s nice and protected.”
“Where are you going?” Harry asked.
“Business calls to be relieved and all that. I’ll be a sec.”
Sirius disappeared into the en suite, Harry turning a worried eye to the moving figure next to him. Remus took a deep, pained breath in, eyes scrunching a bit. He opened an eye, blearily, calling out for his partner. “Sirius?” When there was no response, Remus got an anxious brow to his face, “Sirius? Love, where are you?” He started panicking, his breathing coming in more sharply.
Harry quickly moved over to help Remu recenter himself. “Moony? It’s Harry, you’re okay. Right?”
“Haz? Oh,” he grunted when he went to sit up more, slumping back down to the bed, “Annwyl, what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay. How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been worse, but I’m okay, I promise.” He tried for a smile, but it was weak, and Harry saw right through the fakeness of it. He could tell his uncle was in a lot of pain.
“You’re lying.”
“What?”
“You lied to me! Why did you lie?” Harry voiced back, volume a bit louder than he would’ve liked.
“Annwyl, I’m not lying to you, there have been worse-”
“You still lied, though!”
Sirius came crashing back out of the bathroom door, rushing over to Remus’ side. “What’s going on, you two?”
Sirius went to help Remus roll over to lie on his back, but the taller man made a pained whimper and a slight cry, causing Sirius to stop the movements. He immediately went into husband mode, “I’m sorry, my moon, what do you need?”
“I just want to lie down again.”
“Against me?” Remus nodded weakly. “Okay, hold on.” Sirius maneuvered himself and Remus so that they were in the same position as before, only Sirius was sitting up now, and Remus was a bit lower, his head more on Sirius’ stomach. “Better?” Remus nodded again, a relieved sigh leaving him.
“Moony lied to me. You both told me to never lie, so why is it okay for him to!” Harry spoke, sounding like the petulant child that he was.
“What are you talking about, Haz? Moons, what did you lie about?”
“I asked him if he was okay, and he said he was, but he clearly isn’t! He’s lying!”
Sirius sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. The other man spoke up, “I told Harry that I’ve had worse moons and that I was fine. I’m not lying, though; there have been worse moons. The one after your parents passed was the last time a moon went this poorly.”
“But why did it happen this time?”
“We don’t know, Sprog, trust me, we wish we did.”
“Then how can you know that it won’t always go this badly?”
“Harry, I’ve been transforming for almost 30 years. I think I know when I’ll have a bad moon.”
Harry made a frustrated groan, climbing out of the bed, both his guardians turning to keep their eyes on him. “You said the last time was after my parents, right?”
“Yes, because Moony didn’t know where his pack, but specifically his mate, was.”
“His mate?”
“Padfoot, me. That was when I was away for a few weeks.”
Harry remembered his guardians telling him about those few weeks that Sirius was kept away from Remus and the rest of the wizarding world. He wished he could’ve gone back in time to prevent the innocent person from being harmed and blamed. But he had more important matters to deal with, such as the fact that his uncle very blatantly lied to him, and neither of his uncles could see the importance of Remus not being okay.
“That doesn’t answer my question, though. Cause this could happen again!”
“Annwyl, it’s not likely to happen for a while.”
“But, but what if it does and…and I’m…” He trailed off, the real reason for his questioning starting to come to light in his mind. He tried to shake it off.
“Harry, I promise, I’ll be alright. If I can get through that first moon after your parents by myself, then I can get through any bad moon with Sirius by my side.”
“And if he isn’t here? What if I’m not here?”
“Sprog, talk to us slowly. What do you mean?”
Curse his godparents and the stupid lessons they placed on the importance of discussing feelings. He didn’t have time for that. “What if I’m not here to help you, Padfoot? What if, like last night, you need extra help?”
“Then I’ll get the help myself.”
“But what if you can’t leave Moony! What if he’s-” He started to feel a tightness in his chest. He’d experienced something like this before but pushed it down, choosing to ignore it. “What if I’m not here, right, and you need extra help, but don’t have it and- and you leave Moony alone, and then he…he…”
“I what, annwyl? It’s okay, let out whatever it is you’re thinking.”
Fine, they wanted the horrible sight Harry saw in his head, then they’d get it. “What if you bleed out! What if I’m stuck in stupid Hogwarts and I can’t help you and I find out that you’re-you’re-”
Harry suddenly couldn’t breathe, his breath coming in shallow spurts. Both his guardians tried to get Harry to come closer, but Harry moved further back, not wanting to be near them. They were saying something to him, but he couldn’t hear over the loud thumping in his ears.
With a startled look, he ran with Moons back to his bedroom, slamming his door shut. He heard Remus calling out to him, but Harry couldn’t handle it. He’d spoken about one of his worst fears: losing another set of parents. It was something he didn’t think he’d be able to handle. Let alone the two people left to tell him about his birth parents.
He settled back in his bed, holding Moons close to his chest again, listening to the whispered, teary conversation from across the hall.
“Moons, he’s just scared. We’ll talk to him after, please eat something. He worked so hard on it.”
“I don’t want him scared, though. He’s just a kid, that shouldn’t be-”
“I know, Moons, I know. Eat, rest for a tiny bit longer, and then we’ll go talk. Let him cool down a bit.”
“Fine.”
Harry felt something wet hit his pillow. He reached up and realized he was crying. What a horrible way to spend the last week before going to boarding school.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry spent the next hour staring at the various items in his bedroom. He watched the loop of his parents dancing in the courtyard, faces cheery and so young, too many times to count. He’d stared down at the deer and lemur plush sitting on the shelf, two missing spaces for the canine companions. He’d mentally reorganized the books on his shelf that were mostly untouched (sorry, Remus). He’d done just about everything that a bored 11-year-old who was too stubborn to get out of bed could do.
Then there was a small knock on his door.
“Harry? Can we come in?” Remus' strained voice called out.
He rolled over, facing away from the door, trying his best to make it seem like he was asleep. He wanted his guardians, of course, he did. He needed their comfort and to make sure that Remus really was okay. But he couldn’t get over his self-pity party and the anger that had unfairly brewed up within him. He didn’t know how to voice his concerns or truly what those concerns were. What he did know was that seeing Remus bleeding out and in immense pain scared him.
“Haz, we need to talk, please?” Sirius called out.
After another moment of silence, Remus whispered to Sirius, “Maybe we should just give him-”
“No, love, we have to make sure he’s okay. He needed the space for a bit, but now it’s time to check in.”
“But we shouldn’t pressure him. He needs to know that he can come to us-”
Harry was getting frustrated again, hearing his guardians argue over what he needed. The only one who knew that was him, obviously. He decided to take things into his own hands. “Just come in!”
The door opened, but Harry still refused to turn over. He could smell the chamomile tea that Remus likely made for him and hear the cane he was using to walk over to his bed. The chair from his desk scraped on the wooden floor, indicating that Sirius had brought it over to sit on. His bed dipped from the weight of Remus sitting on it. Harry moved further into the wall.
“You know, I really do wish there was someone I could share my chocolate frog with. Whoever could that be?” Remus drawled out. Harry heard Sirius snicker to himself, likely hiding his face in his hand.
But he wouldn’t take the bait; he knew what Remus was trying to do.
“I guess I’ll just have to eat it all on my own, sad though, it really is a big one that is just begging to be shared.”
Look, Harry’s eleven, there’s only so much willpower he can have.
“Just give me some.” He said, holding his hand out.
“Turn over,” Sirius instructed, his godfather using his warm parental voice.
Harry groaned but listened to his godfather, an eyeroll following. He found Sirius sitting backwards on the chair, arms leaning on the top, one leg pulled up close to his chest, and Remus sitting next to him on his bed, Paddy still tucked under his arm. He broke off a bit of the frog and politely placed it on Harry’s outstretched hand.
Damn, it was good.
“Talk,” Sirius spoke again, but this time Harry wouldn’t fall for it. No, he was stronger than that.
Harry sat up and crossed his arms as he continued to eat the frog. Remus placed Paddy next to Moons on the side of his bed and gave his nephew a soft, welcoming smile. He looked tired and pale. More color in his cheeks than earlier, and his smile actually reached his eyes, but Harry could tell he still wasn’t feeling great.
Remus sighed, placing a hand on Harry’s shin, “Annwyl, we just want to know what’s going on. What’s up in the big brain of yours?” he teased, ruffling his hair.
It puts a slight curve to Harry’s lips, him still not meeting their gaze. He doesn’t know what to say cause he doesn’t know. His mind has been racing with different scenarios, memories of the past, and worries of the future. Where did he even start? So, all he did was shrug his shoulders.
Remus winced and removed his hand from Harry’s leg. “Haz, is it okay if I lean against your wall?” Harry shuffled around to let his uncle sit further on his bed, his back against the wall, legs hanging off the side of his bed. “Thank you, love. Now, can we try to walk through what’s bothering you?”
Harry shrugged again. “Sprog, you know you can trust us. Do you want to walk through it? I promise we won’t be mad.”
He figured he might as well give them something. It was getting annoying hearing them ask the same thing over and over again. He mumbled out a response, thinking it was enough to hold them over.
“What? Can you speak up?” Sirius asked, moving his head so he could catch Harry’s gaze.
He sighed, knowing he had no choice but to just say it, “I don’t want to go to Hogwarts.”
It sounded like Sirius short-circuited with the noise he made. Harry glanced up at him, curious as to what had just happened with his godfather. He had wide eyes, his brows high on his face.
“What do you mean? You don’t just randomly decide not to go!” Sirius muttered.
“Pads, give him a chance to explain. Haz, why don’t you want to go to Hogwarts anymore? You’d been so excited.” Remus said in a much calmer tone.
Harry sank into himself, playing with a thread on his blanket, “What if something happens again while I’m there, and I can’t do anything to help?”
“This again? Sprog, we already told you that Moony would be okay to-”
“But what if he’s not!” Harry suddenly sprang out of bed, pacing a bit in front of his bookshelf. “What if when I’m at Hogwarts, and there’s a really bad moon, I find out that things went wrong. Not just last night wrong, but really, really wrong. What if-” His breath caught, tears stinging his eyes, and try as he might, he couldn’t hold them back when the worst possible thought finally fell out of his mouth, “what if it’s a moon that Moony doesn’t survive? And then I wouldn’t be there for his last night, or to have possibly helped and made it so that didn’t happen.”
Harry was heaving for air, and he didn’t even realize he had burst out crying, or that Remus had moved to gather him into his arms, running a hand soothingly up and down his back. Sirius had gotten on his knees and taken one of Harry’s hands into his own, speaking softly to him, but he didn’t understand.
Finally, after a few moments, everything started to clear up and he understood everything better. “-it won’t be like that. You have to believe us.”
“What?” Harry mumbled, using his sleeve to wipe away his tears.
Remus brought his hands up to clear off his cheeks, a soft smile on his face. “Take a deep breath for me, bug, okay?” Harry did as told, allowing more breath to enter his lungs. It was something he and his uncle practiced often. “Better?” Harry nodded, looking at Sirius for clarification.
“Let’s try again. Look, I know last night was scary; we both were terrified. But it really has not happened in nearly a decade, and it won’t be like that again.” His eyes looked between Harry’s, then went straight to Remus’, a sad look in them, “Moons, maybe we’ve been doing this wrong.”
“Sweetheart, we can talk about that later.” Remus turned his attention back to Harry, “Bug, why are you thinking like that?”
Harry shrugged yet again, cause honestly, he didn’t know. He could barely remember the events of the night his parents were killed, but he knew he still had nightmares of his mother’s screams and the scary man who tried to take him. It all bubbled up into an enormous fear of losing Remus and Sirius, particularly because of how rough he knew Remus had it with the moons. He did try to voice it, the reassuring looks his guardians were giving him serving as the perfect push for him. “I can’t lose you, too, I guess. Last night, I saw you, and it- I don’t know. I know I don’t fully remember what happened, but…I can’t lose another parent.”
Both of them let out remorseful sighs, Sirius inching closer to Harry, “Sprog, please look at me.”
Harry couldn’t, for some reason. He couldn’t make himself look at his godfather, his favorite person in the world. His hero. He kept his gaze down, feeling Remus’ hands till wiping away tears, and Sirius still holding his.
“Haz, we aren’t going anywhere. I don’t know why, after a decade, Moony had a bad moon. Sometimes that just happens, and no stressors or anything can cause it. But I promise you, we aren’t going to leave you. Sorry, but you’re a bit stuck with us for quite a long time.” Sirius spoke calmly, tickling Harry, which made a small grin appear on his face.
“Bug, can we tell you something that we were going to wait for, but now it seems like you need it?” Harry nodded his head, finally looking up at both of them.
Remus’ eyes were still a warm caramel that made it feel like you were getting a warm hug, filled with understanding and love. Sirius’ eyes were a bit colder, but only because he looked scared. There was still a kindness to them, and Harry could tell that he was doing his best not to cry.
“We talked to Dumbledore and the heads of each house-”
“Obviously, Minnie first, because we know you, and you will definitely be-”
“Padfoot,” Remus chastised.
“What? I’m just saying.” He rolled his eyes, but allowed Remus to continue.
“We talked to them all, and they’ve agreed to let you come home for an extended weekend on Halloween.”
Harry’s face perked up a bit, his eyes going wider. “What? But I’ll miss classes. You hate when I miss classes.”
“I do, but we all agreed that it’s more important for you to be with family this year. I think we’ll all need it.”
Harry sniffed, not really knowing what to say. It was an amazing offer, and one he certainly was not going to turn down. But he wanted to make sure he could still be there for the moons.
“Before you say anything, we will talk to them again and see if, maybe, and that’s a big maybe, you can come home for just one day so you can see Remus after the moons, alright?” Harry was about to speak, but Sirius interjected again. “But only for the first six months.”
“But, Padfoot!”
“Six months. You need to get used to it, Sprog. I know this is going to be a big transition, but we are only a floo or apparition away.”
“It was hard enough transitioning from not having you here the morning after to you being able to help a bit. Trust me, I’m gonna miss having my favorite little bug around to help and to cuddle with.” Remus fondly teased.
Harry sighed, considering the options they had presented him. He set a brow, looking directly at Sirius, his green eyes ready for a fight, “Minnie will be okay with it?”
“Harry, we already told you, you don’t need to be a Gryf-”
“Of course, my beloved Minnie McG will be. She loves me best, so by association, she’ll give you anything you want.”
“Cariad, I highly doubt that she’d-”
“Okay.”
They both clamped their mouths shut at the whispered approval. All three stared at each other, not knowing how to proceed. It was overwhelming, the attention Harry was getting mixed with the scary thoughts still running through his mind, and the light holds both guardians had on him.
“I’m sorry that I scared you, bug. It really wasn’t my intention.”
“I know. It’s just…weird, I guess. I know it’s been a while, but I’m still not used to seeing you like that.” Harry admitted.
“It’ll get easier over time. I still remember my first time seeing Moony in the hospital wing. Thought he was a goner with all the bandages on him. Even had one over his face.”
Remus furrowed his brow, hurt by the statement, “You said I looked rugged!”
“And I still do, Moonbeam. You are the most rugged, attractive man I’ve ever known.” He said in a loving tone, reaching over to kiss him on the lips.
Harry averted his eyes, not wanting to see his guardians kissing. What? Kissing was gross in his 11-year-old mind.
“Oh, come here, Sprog.” Sirius pulled Harry in so they were all hugging, him right between them. “Want to go back to our room, and we can have a little cuddle?”
Harry really did need that; he could tell he did deep into his bones.
Sirius got up, looking back briefly before walking out of the room, a brightness back on his face and a pep in his step. Harry brought his gaze back to Remus, who wore a more concerned look.
“You okay, Annwyl? Again, I’m so, so sorry for scaring you.”
“I’ll be okay, Moony. Just, please don’t die. I meant it; I can’t lose you.”
“Well,” Remus said with a small smile, “like Padfoot said, you’re a bit stuck with me for quite a long time.” He ruffled Harry’s already unruly hair and stood slowly, grabbing his cane. “Come, let’s go have a bit of a lie in.”
Harry was about to go when he looked back at his bed, eyeing the plushies. “Can I take Moons with me? Is that childish?”
Remus’ features went softer at that, the smile growing warmer, “No, it’s not, and of course you can, Haz. You’re always allowed to take them where you please.”
Harry quickly grabbed the wolf plush and walked with Remus across the hall to his and Sirius’ bedroom.
“Even to Hogwarts?”
“If that’s what you want, then yes.”
Harry smiled at that. He may not have them out in the open like he did in his room in the Welsh cottage he called home, but it brought a comfort to him to think that they’d be with him in the Scottish Highlands, far away from the people he felt safest with. He knew that with all the plushies close, he still had all his parental figures with him at all times, keeping as safe as possible.