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Look for anything that's different in this world, Minamoto-senpai said. How am I supposed to know which one I should be focusing on when EVERYTHING’S different?!
"Ah! The science prep room! I bet Tsuchigomori-sensei can help me!" Nene perked up as she rushed towards the science prep room. It's been a couple of hours since she got transported into this strange world, all thanks to the efforts of the clockkeepers trying to change the past and basically reset everything. Everything felt so wrong! This was like that picture world all over again, just with extra convoluted steps to it!
Nene grimaced to herself as she avoided the boys she used to fangirl over back in her old world, back when she was a boy-crazy hopeless romantic that only really cared about how boys look on the outside. Apparently, in this world, she replaced Aoi as the popular girl, but she's still a total boy simp! Even for boys who clearly didn't like her and treated her like garbage! Even the guy she confessed to and got rejected by in middle school in her old world is currently chasing after her (after she headbutted the shit out of him on the chin and ran off), and demanding a confession from her!
The me in this world… ugh! Totally insufferable! It's true I wanted to confess at the school festival, but not to Nakahara-senpai! To Hanako-kun! I'm confessing to Hanako-kun, damn it! Get your facts right!
Nene stopped when she saw the familiar science prep room sign, but then she paused as she looked up at it one more time. Huh? This was in the old school building. Was there another science prep room here or...?
Ah, never mind that. She had to talk to Tsuchigomori and figure out what to do here! Without thinking, Nene opened the door in a hurry.
"Hey! Don't you know students aren't supposed to be here?" A stern, older male voice shouted, startling her.
"I-I'm sorry, sensei, I was just—" before Nene could apologize, she heard a playful chuckle follow from the same voice, footsteps shuffling nearby.
Her eyes widened. Her heart pounded in her chest. Nervousness? Maybe. Whatever it is, it's something.
"Ahaha… I'm just kidding. Go ahead, kids are always hanging out in here anyways, so feel free to come in."
That short, choppy black hair. Those golden eyes. Taller, a little young looking for someone in his twenties or thirties. That lab coat and the faculty staff ID around his neck, something she would have never thought suit him.
That same familiar smile, only heightened up by the way time had been rather kind on him.
Hanako-kun...? Wait, that's weird… why does he look old… no, wait, young? What the heck is going on?
"H-huh...?"
The man was drinking coffee from a beaker, stirring it around a bit as he glanced her way. "So, what are you here for? What's your name and grade? Here to ask about your grades, career counseling? Or about that incantation everyone's been talking about lately?"
"Um... uh..." Nene began, unable to look away from him, his words not really fully registering in her brain. Was this... was this really Hanako? No, he'd be called Yugi Amane in this world if that's the case... so... he's alive in this world? He doesn't seem to know who she is, judging by how he's acting.
He... doesn't know her, huh?
Amane sat down on what seemed to be his swivel chair, pulling out another spare chair that was next to him, patting it gently. "Here, have a seat. Would you like some coffee?"
She swallowed, clenching and unclenching her fists. "Oh, u-um... no thanks, sensei..." She muttered, walking towards him and sitting on the chair, her hands folded on her lap as she avoided any further eye contact.
He took a sip of his coffee, an almost awkward silence happening between them (well, it was awkward for Nene. He didn't seem bothered in the slightest as he waited for her to speak).
He's human in this world. He really got to grow up, huh...? A bittersweet feeling washed over her, her fingers clenching tightly on her uniform. She felt happy, yes, happy that he's able to experience growing up and becoming a science teacher in this world, just like how Tsuchigomori had predicted, and never experiencing the pain of death and becoming a ghost, No. 7 of the school mysteries. He never got to experience becoming Hanako, but he got to stay as Amane instead.
And yet... this is a world in which he never met her. In which he never died, and resulted in her knocking on that very bathroom stall.
Maybe it really is for the best... for him...
"Is there something troubling you? You can tell me, you know, miss...?" Amane tilted his head slightly at her as he spoke, making Nene turn back her attention to him.
"Oh, um... I-I'm Yashiro, sensei! Y-you can just call me Yashiro!" Nene blurted out, cheeks flushing red from embarrassment. He seemed like a pretty nice teacher here... it made her feel so proud yet so sad at the same time. "And I... well... maybe there is something that's bothering me."
"And that is?"
Nene took a deep breath, letting her hands relax as she looked back down at her lap. She can't exactly tell him she's from a different timeline, or he'll think she's crazy. Quick, Nene, make something up, make something up!
"Well... there's this boy... I really, really, really like him a lot, and I was planning on confessing to him today at the school festival. But… now, I'm not so sure.”
This is embarrassing… why am I even telling you this?
He set down his coffee on his table with a soft clink. “Ah, a confession, huh? That can be pretty nerve-wracking. Why are you having second thoughts? Do you think he doesn't like you back?”
Nene hesitated. How could she tell him things without sounding insane? She bit her lip and tried to put her thoughts into something that sounded normal. “It's just… I don't know if it's really appropriate to tell him how I feel. There's, um, things we haven't really talked about yet…”
Amane chuckled softly, the sound both familiar and achingly foreign to Nene's ears. "Sounds like you've got quite the dilemma, Yashiro. I don't know much about romance, but I do think talking about things together is important in any kind of relationship. Have you tried talking to him about it? Really talking?”
If only it were that simple, Nene thought bitterly. "I've tried, but it always feels like he's constantly closing himself up from me. Like he doesn't want me to see everything about him. I just… I just want him to know that… no matter what, I'll stay by his side.”
Taking another sip of his coffee, he leaned back on his chair, his fingers drumming lightly on the table while he shot her another friendly smile. “You really like him that much, huh?”
“Eh? U-um, yeah, s-something like that!” Nene stammered, her face turning red once more. To think she'd even hear Amane of all people calling her out like this…!
"Heh... well, tell me more about him, then. What's he like?"
I can't really tell him "oh, he's you, but dead!". "Um... he teases me a lot... making fun of my legs... but h-he's not that bad!" Nene added quickly upon seeing Amane raise an eyebrow at her words. Oh God, why did I bring that up?
"I see," Amane said, smirking a little. "Teasing, huh? Sounds like he's got a bit of a playful side. But if he's making fun of you and it bothers you, maybe it's worth bringing it up to him directly."
Yeah, because it's totally normal to tell a bathroom ghost no one else can see he's a jerk for calling me daikon legs. What even is normal for me anymore? “It's more like… it's his way of showing he cares, I think. He's… also really kind and protective. He always comes through for me when I need him the most, even if he doesn't always show it clearly. He's... he's everything to me.”
Amane chuckled again, shaking his head slightly. "Boys can be dumb like that, thinking teasing is a way to show affection. But you know… sometimes, the people who mean the most to us can be the hardest to understand. Either way, maybe you should go for it, tell him how you feel. What's the worst that could happen?"
He could vanish forever, Nene thought, her heart clenching. But she forced a smile, nodding. "Yeah, maybe you're right, sensei. I guess I'm just overthinking things.”
If only he knew. If only he understood just how much she wished things could be different. How she wished Hanako could be here with her, just like Amane is now, back in their real world, with Kou, Aoi, everybody else, without any more problems. But that wasn't the reality she lived in. She was being selfish, she admits that to herself… and being that exact kind of selfish was what lead to her being separated from Hanako in the first place back then, for almost how long.
And then there's her lifespan decreasing. Huh. She hasn't really had the time to think about it. It's probably because of the whole mess that has been going on so far, but Nene felt like she's just been distracting herself from the topic.
Somehow, she felt like it was also her fault, in a way. She wished to live longer, together in a world with Hanako in it. But it's also his fault too, right? He went about trying to grant her wish in the worst possible ways ever! And look where that got them!
But he was trying whatever he can. He was trying… and I was just blindly believing in him, putting that pressure on him. I… not once have I ever even thought about how he feels about it…
“That's just like you, Yashiro. Always thinking of the best outcome for everyone. Selfishly thinking things would be better if they don't give up, just like how you don't give up.” She could almost hear Hanako’s voice in her mind, like an echo that wouldn't go away so easily.
I really am so selfish, huh?
"Yashiro, you alright?" Amane's voice cut through her thoughts, bringing her back to the present. She shook her head slightly, grinning sheepishly.
"Yeah, sensei, just... got a lot on my mind, I guess.”
"Hey, that's normal," Amane replied, giving her a reassuring smile. "High school can be pretty overwhelming, with all the expectations and feelings flying around. It's okay to feel lost sometimes. Now…” he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as he looked at her seriously, "Do you want some advice on how to approach this guy, or are you just looking to vent? Not that I mind.”
Crap. Have I been yapping at him all this time? Ultra embarrassing!
“Um... a little of both, I think," she admitted with a shaky smile. "I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm scared. What if he doesn't feel the same way? Or worse, what if he does, but things get complicated?” Considering everything that's happening right now…
Amane nodded, leaning back in his chair again. "Well, relationships are always a bit of a gamble. But if you never take the leap, you'll never know. If you like him that much, it's worth the risk, don't you think?”
Nene fidgeted with her fingers, her thoughts a tangled mess. She knew Amane was right. But the stakes felt so much higher than just a simple confession. She was dealing with other worlds, ghosts, time running out, and the heartache of potentially losing someone who meant everything to her. After all… Hanako is dead. She's alive, but not for much longer. Whatever future even is there for them?
Noticing her hesitation, Amane sighed, his tone softening. "Look, Yashiro, I don't know all the details of what's going on with you, but it sounds like this guy means a lot to you. And if he’s as protective and caring as you say, then maybe he deserves to know how you feel. At the end of the day, what matters is that you’re honest with him. The rest… well, you’ll figure it out together, right?”
Nene stared at Amane, her heart aching. She wanted so badly to pour everything out, to tell him how he was the very same boy who died so many years ago, and how she met him as a ghost. But she couldn't. It wouldn't feel right in many ways. And yet, hearing his words gave her a sense of comfort.
She can be selfish… she can be selfish, for Hanako's sake, for everyone else. She can afford to believe in an outcome. It may not turn out to be like a fairytale ending like she may have used to always daydream about… but an outcome that involves being in a world where she can be by his side is better than none at all.
"Yeah," she said softly, managing a small smile. "You're right, sensei. Thank you.”
He smiled back at her again, the expression so familiar it almost hurt. She missed Hanako more than ever already. "Anytime, Yashiro. Remember, no matter how complicated things get, as long as you're still willing to try, things will look up for you. Now, is there anything else you'd like to talk about?"
Nene shook her head. "No, I think that's it for now. You've already helped me a lot, sensei.”
Amane watched as she stood up from her chair, giving him a small bow. "Thank you again, sensei. I really needed this talk."
"Good luck with your confession," he said, raising his coffee beaker in a small toast. "And hey, if things don't work out, there's always more fish in the sea, right? Or whatever it is you kids say nowadays."
Nene merely forced another smile as she headed for the door. Just as her hand touched the handle, Amane's voice stopped her one last time.
"Oh, and Yashiro?"
She turned back. "Yes, sensei?"
"When you see this boy of yours..." His golden eyes seemed to glimmer with something indescribable for a moment. "Tell him that being afraid is okay. Sometimes the scariest part isn't the confession itself, but what comes after. But that's what makes it worth it, don't you think?"
For a split second, Nene could have sworn she saw the outline of a familiar black uniform, hat and seal overlapping with Amane's visage. She blinked, and it was gone.
"R-right!" She stammered, quickly opening the door and stepping out. Her heart was pounding so hard she could hear it in her ears. Was that just her imagination? Or maybe...
No. She couldn't afford to get distracted now. She had to find a way back to her world, back to her Hanako. Back to the ghost boy who, despite everything, is undoubtedly precious to her.
I'll come back to you, she promised silently as she walked down the hallway. And when I do, I'll tell you about the feelings I've been trying to tell you for a long time. I’ll tell you everything I've wanted to say to you. “I love you, Hanako-kun.” Those are the words I wanna say to you from the bottom of myheart, only for you to hear, you big dummy!
A determined look crossed her face as she held her head high up.
So wait for me, Hanako-kun!