Chapter Text
> I'm here, darling! Ready when you are. <3
Stolas looked up from his phone to examine the apartment building. Blitzø had asked to meet outside his house so they could portal to Gluttony together - though it would have been far easier to meet him at the restaurant, Stolas leapt at the opportunity to visit. Not only was he touched by the sentiment, he'd never been to this part of town before, and was excited to see Blitzø's neighbourhood. All things considered, it wasn't all that much to look at, but he was mesmerized all the same. In each of these towering apartment buildings there were dozens of demons, each with their own stories. There were no pretentious procedures or prophecies here - just everyday people living extraordinarily ordinary everyday lives. And one of them was his own extraordinary little imp.
His phone's ringtone pulled him out of his thoughts.
"Hey Stols, come on up. I just need a few more minutes."
"Oh, Blitzy, that's just fine, I don't mind waiting ou-"
"Here, I'll buzz you in. Apartment 403. The front door's unlocked, just let yourself in."
Anticipation mounted with every step as Stolas climbed the narrow staircase. He'd never been invited into Blitzø's house before - the imp had never offered, and he'd never asked. Of course, he could have portaled directly into the apartment any time he pleased, including now, but to be invited in was a completely different matter.
He knocked gently at the door.
"It's open!"
The knob resisted as Stolas attempted to turn it. "Um, dearest..?"
"Ah, tits, just gimme a sec."
The door suddenly swung open with an aggressive tug, and Stolas was greeted by the familiar sight of Blitzø smiling up at him. The sleeves of his sweater were hiked up to his elbows and suds adorned his mottled forearms.
"Sorry, the lock sticks. Come in, I'm just finishing up here and then we can get going." The imp waved him in as he turned back into the apartment. Unsure of where he was meant to go, Stolas followed Blitzø around the corner, ducking his head to avoid the doorframe as he passed through it. The brightly lit kitchen was small, but very cozy and surprisingly tidy. It was strange to suddenly be in a space that felt so private, but Stolas was grateful for it - it somehow felt more intimate than anything they had ever done before. And that was truly saying something, all things considered.
Blitzø was standing at the kitchen sink, tail swishing gently behind him as he worked. Stolas peered over his shoulder and was surprised to see fabric swirling in the soapy water. "Oh! I thought you were doing the dishes."
"Nah, it's laundry day. This is the last load, won’t take too long. Make yourself comfy though, there's coffee if you want some." Stolas stared into the water and felt rather stupid. How was this… laundry?
Blitzø caught his confused look and smirked as he drained the sink. "You really think this place is big enough for a washing machine? There's a shared one two floors up, but this is faster." He jerked his head to gesture behind him as he began to wring out a pair of pants. "Seriously, Stolas, go sit down if you want. I'll just be a sec."
Stolas wandered out of the kitchen to take in the rest of the apartment; indeed, it was quite small, even by imp standards, with only two other rooms in the whole apartment. One of the rooms was clearly marked as Loona's; before he could even guess at the contents of the other, Blitzø bustled past him with an armful of damp clothes and pushed the door open with his hip to reveal a cramped bathroom. Curious, Stolas leaned against the doorframe and watched as Blitzø began hanging clothes on a clothesline above the bathtub. "I suppose I'm uninformed about things like this. I'm rather useless when it comes to housework, I'm afraid. I'm not even sure where my laundry room is." The admission was meant to be self-deprecating, but Stolas regretted saying it immediately and cringed at his own oblivious comment.
Blitzø chuckled. "Mks snse, mmf-," he removed the clothespin he had propped in between his teeth, "-if I had the choice I wouldn't do my own laundry either. Lucky bitch." He flashed a good-natured grin back at Stolas, who returned the smile gratefully.
Feeling he had intruded on Blitzø's work for far too long already, Stolas decided to explore the living room. It was just as cozy as the kitchen: small, comfortable, a bit shabby, but clearly very well cared for. The torn wallpaper was covered in photos, doodles, notes, and mementos of a life well lived - and it was all so very Blitzø. Stolas's heart swelled with affection at how beautiful the apartment really was; it felt more like a home than his big empty palace ever had.
The couch at the center of the room seemed to be a bit too small to be comfortable for him to sit on, so Stolas opted for a half-leaning, half-sitting position against the side of the torn upholstery. A photo of two hellhorses on the wall caught his eye - naturally, there would be horses featured in most of Blitzø's décor, but this photo was particularly striking because it included a familiar figure. Nostalgia overwhelmed him as he focused on the tiny imp boy that stood on his toes reaching up for the horses; the face was obscured by a smear of ink, but Stolas recognized the prominent striped horns instantly. He took the frame in his hands and used the corner of his cape to carefully scrub at the glass until he revealed the familiar face of a young Blitzø, wearing a smile as exuberant and playful as it had been in Stolas's own childhood memories. Satisfied, he hung the photo back on the wall and stood back to admire his handiwork.
And then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw another black mark on a photo by the front door.
And another on a frame above Loona's adoption certificate.
And another.
And another.
Beak agape, Stolas paced the room as he stared at the collection of angry black scribbles; it seemed that every single photo featuring Blitzø had been defaced. It was curious that Blitzø had done this in such an obvious manner - he could have taken the photos down, but instead had chosen to keep his own self-loathing on display without a second thought. But then again, it was also par for the course. Blitzø had always been painfully upfront about what he perceived to be his shortcomings, which Stolas knew firsthand to be a defense mechanism more than anything. He had found this trait to be rather endearing and even a bit admirable at times, as he himself was much less forthcoming about his insecurities, often to his own detriment. But to see the imp's hatred for himself laid out so plainly was truly heartbreaking.
He approached the table near the front door and traced a finger along a polaroid photo of Blitzø with his arm around one of his employees. Without a frame to protect it, the ink had seeped into the glossy paper. This would be far harder to clean. Perhaps he could find a cleaning spell that could remove the ink without causing further damage? And there were so many photos. He'd need more research and a lot more time to get to them all.
"Alright, I'm ready. You good?" Stolas started and jumped back from the wall as Blitzø emerged from the bathroom, now wearing his usual gloves and shrugging on a leather jacket.
"Your home is lovely. I quite like your décor." Stolas realized he was still holding the hem of his cape in his fist and hastily dropped it as Blitzø raised an eyebrow at him. "Erm… your drawings are superb, as usual, darling. I particularly like the horses with the top hats."
Blitzø eyed the marked photos wearily before giving Stolas an uneasy smile. "Thanks, Stols," the imp sighed and reached up to grab Stolas's hand. "Now let's get outta here, I'm fucking starving."
Stolas created a portal to the restaurant with his free hand. "I would love to visit again, if you'd be willing. Perhaps we can have a cozy night in sometime?"
"Uhhh, I guess? But it's not very private when Loony's here. And I'm sure you noticed, I don't exactly have a bed, so…"
Stolas glanced back at the single bedroom door and the tiny, torn-up couch. No. No, he hadn't noticed. "Ah. Well, yes, perhaps the palace is better suited for more… intimate activities. Still, maybe we could make dinner or watch a movie or something. I quite like it here. It feels like… you."
Blitzø's cheeks flushed and he gave Stolas's arm a gentle tug. "Alright, you got me, Feathers. We can hang out here sometimes if that's what you wanna do. Now c'mon."
As Blitzø guided him through the portal, Stolas resolved that he'd be back here again soon. He'd come back as many times as it took.
Notes:
The clothesline in Blitzø's bathroom inspired me to write a bit of domestic fluff, but I apparently can't have nice things, so it spiraled into something more like angsty/feel-good plot masquerading as fluff.
I put a lot of myself into this one. I hope you like it.
Chapter Text
The dashboard display read 10:37 as Blitzø put the van in park outside of the palace gates. That… couldn't be right, could it? He checked his phone. Nope, it wasn't right, the damn clock was actually slow - it was 10:52. He opened his texts.
> mite b l8 sry
> stuk @ wrk
> Not a problem my dear. Take your time. I'll be waiting <3
That was at… 7:04 pm. Yeah, he was really fucking late. Stupid fucking client and their stupid shitty directions. How was he supposed to know that Earth actually had four Zealands, and only one of them was new? He grabbed his backpack from the passenger seat and hopped out of the van.
He trudged through the dark garden and tossed his bag up onto the balcony before starting his usual climb. Of course, he could use the front door now. But what could he say? He was a sucker for tradition.
"Alright Birdy, I'm here! You ready for-" He froze in place, one leg still hiked over the railing.
Stolas was spread out on the bed, surrounded by rose petals and lit candles. His robe - which was typically already pretty revealing - was barely covering him at all. It was hanging off of both shoulders, with one long leg exposed to the moonlight between the folds of fabric. Oh, and he was snoring. Loudly.
Despite the romantic ambiance that was clearly the goal here, it would be generous to describe Stolas's current appearance as a particularly sexy one. There was a spot of drool on the corner of Stolas's open mouth, and the book he'd been reading - smutty, of course it was - had fallen out of his hand and smushed some of the petals, smearing red marks into the sheets. His deep sleep had turned what was likely meant to be a seductive pose into a tangle of long limbs jutting out awkwardly. All in all, Stolas looked like a hot mess.
He was the most beautiful thing Blitzø had ever seen.
Blitzø silently cursed all four fucking Zealands as he picked up his backpack and closed the balcony door. He tiptoed into the adjacent bathroom to clean off some of the blood and grime from his hands and face, stripped down to his boxers, then set out to find his hoodie. He'd left it next to the bed last night, but there was nothing there now. Stolas had apparently finally let the housekeepers into his room - or, more likely, had actually cleaned up after himself for once in his damn life. His suspicions were confirmed when he looked under the bed: a pile of books and clothes had clearly been hastily shoved underneath. Blitzø smiled to himself. Satan, he sure is lucky he's so cute. Useless, pretty-ass bird.
As he yanked his sweater free, a familiar clinking sound gave him pause. He stuck his arm back under and groaned as he felt the smooth curves of glass on his fingertips. He angled his head to get a better look, but was limited by his horns. His stupid short arms weren't able to reach any farther, either. Resolute, he rolled over, gripped the side of the bedframe, and carefully maneuvered his body underneath the bed as far as he could reach. He got under as far as his chest before he could use his legs and tail to gently push the pile of trash to the other side of the bed. Fuck, he must look so stupid right now. If Stolas woke up to find him like this… he'd never live it down.
As if in response to Blitzø's thought, Stolas let out a particularly loud snore from above. Blitzø gave one final kick before shimmying himself out of the tight space. He snuck around to the other side of the bed to assess the damage: seven books, two of Blitzø's t-shirts, four sweaters, a handful of condom wrappers, a few blankets, and a fuck-ton of feathers. Amongst the mess, there were at least a dozen empty bottles. Despite their hefty size, they probably hadn't been collecting there for very long, considering they hadn't gained the thick layer of dust that most of the other items possessed. Blitzø sighed and set to work clearing the pile.
Ten minutes later with clothes sorted, books stacked, and trash disposed of, Blitzø stared down at the bottles as a deep ache gnawed at his chest. He'd done this little cleanup act countless times before - in circus tents, in green rooms, in hotels, in his own damn apartment - but this time was particularly painful, because he just hadn't seen it fucking coming. He knew Stolas drank a lot, but he didn't realize it was this bad. Of course, it was "unbecoming of a Goetia to be anything but perfect", as Stolas had told him once. Even now, divorced and disgraced from the rest of his family, Stolas always projected a princely persona: proper, polite, pleasant. Blitzø had gotten close enough to see some of Stolas's less perfect side - snores like a freight train, a bit of a know-it-all, can't cook or clean for shit - but clearly, there was a lot more that the owl didn't want him to see.
Or maybe he just hadn’t wanted to see it.
He carefully scooped up the bottles in his arms, grabbing the last two with his tail. He'd made it halfway down the hallway before he realized he had no idea where he was going - this palace was just too fucking big. At first, he'd prayed that no one would see him, boxer-clad and laden with evidence of Stolas's shame. But after twenty minutes of wandering the empty hallways, he'd have given anything to run into one of Stolas's servants so he could put these bottles down and go the fuck to sleep. No such luck.
Finally, he stumbled into the massive kitchen and dumped the bottles onto the floor. He pried open a few doors before finally finding a large garbage bin in the pantry. The room was almost as big as his entire fucking apartment, and the walls were stacked to the ceiling with various ingredients and snacks. As he tossed the empty bottles into the trash, he spotted yet another pile of bottles, full ones, haphazardly shoved behind the cereal boxes. Fuck.
He wasn't entirely sure if this was the best thing to do. But fuck it.
He pulled the bottles off of the shelf and dumped their contents down the kitchen sink before tossing the empties into the bin with the others. He left a few of the fancier bottles of wine just in case - Satan knows how expensive this shit probably is, and he was all too familiar with the pain of going cold turkey to subject Stolas to it without any notice. He replaced the cereal back on the shelf and snagged a few packets of chips before sneaking back upstairs.
Despite his hollow bones, Stolas was deceptively heavy, and no amount of tugging on the sheets could give Blitzø any purchase to get under the covers. He retrieved the hoodie that had started all of this, blew out the candles, and climbed onto the bed on top of the blankets and rose petals. Stolas stirred a bit as Blitzø curled up against him; he gently stroked the feathers on the owl's back until they both drifted off to sleep.
Notes:
I don't know what's funnier, Blitzø trying to get to Aotearoa and ending up in Denmark/Holland/rural Canada, or vice versa. Reader's choice.
Chapter Text
The two of them sat tangled on the tiny couch, the glow of the television framing their shared silhouette. Stolas had been correct in his assumption that he was far too tall to sit on the couch properly; however, it was actually quite comfortable to lie on with his head and legs propped up on the armrests. As a bonus, when he took up the whole couch like this, Blitzø was forced to lay on top of him, which suited them both just fine. As the movie reached its denouement and Blitzø rested his head on his chest, Stolas felt his eyes grow heavy.
"Stols?"
"Mmm."
"You asleep?"
Stolas opened his eyes to find Blitzø's amber hues staring up at him. "Not quite, dear," he hummed as he stroked the imp's horn with his free hand.
"We can go to your place if you want."
"No, I'm perfectly happy here."
"Mkay."
Blitzø pushed himself up onto his hands and climbed off of the couch. "Gotta piss. Need anything?"
"From the bathroom? No thank you, my love." Stolas grinned at Blitzø's annoyed look.
"From the kitchen or whatever, stupid."
"No, I'm alright. Thank you."
Stolas waited for the click of the bathroom lock before leaping up off the couch. He dashed to the wall, selected a photo, and began reciting the incantation as quickly and quietly as he could. He'd gotten quite a bit better at the cleaning spell with a bit of practice, but it was still difficult to do with the few spare minutes he was afforded on each attempt. His first few tries, he hadn't managed to entirely remove the ink, so the photographs ended up appearing underdeveloped or water-stained in places. Still, his boyfriend's handsome face was now somewhat visible through the dark stains, which he considered to be a win - and he was only getting better at it, if tonight's attempt was any indication.
He returned the now pristine photo to the wall, being careful to place the tack in its original location. Ensuring the display appeared undisturbed seemed a bit silly, considering what Stolas was trying to do. But since Stolas started secretly doing this a few months ago, Blitzø hadn't added any fresh scribbles to the wall. Perhaps he hadn't noticed the changes, or perhaps he'd simply decided to accept them; Stolas sincerely hoped it was the latter option, but if it was the former, he didn't want to take any chances at being caught.
The creak of door hinges nearly made him jump out of his skin. His head turned over his shoulder to find Loona staring at him from her bedroom door.
"Oh, Loona, I didn't realize you were here! It's very nice to see you."
"Uh… yeah. Same."
The silence between them was exceptionally uncomfortable. Stolas swiveled his body to straighten his neck and attempted a casual lean against the wall. "We've already finished dinner, but there's more on the stove if you'd like some. It's minestrone."
"I already ate."
"Oh." Stolas's brain scrambled to find anything else to say, but came up empty.
"I'll take it for lunch tomorrow." Loona closed her bedroom door behind her and grabbed Blitzø's keys from the front table. "Thanks, Stolas."
"Oh, your father cooked it, really. I didn't do much. I just helped cut the vegetables," Stolas replied airily, stifling a prideful grin. He'd never cooked anything but cereal before, so even chopping vegetables felt like a true accomplishment. This was far too much information to share, however, so he settled on a polite smile. Loona opened the front door, then looked back at Stolas over her shoulder.
"Wasn't talking about the soup."
As the front door slammed shut, Stolas heard the sound of running water from the bathroom. He scampered back to the couch as fast as his legs could carry him.
Chapter Text
"It's really not that hard."
"I'm just not sure I'm ready for the actual cooking part…"
"For fuck's sake, Stolas! It's literally boiling water. You're not gonna fuck it up."
Stolas was staring nervously into the pot of water, and Blitzø lobbed a package of noodles at him. It bounced gently off of his shoulder and landed on the counter.
"Once it's bubbling real good, just put the pasta in. After two minutes, turn the burner off and put a lid on it and let it sit for ten minutes." Blitzø turned to continue rummaging through the fridge.
"That's it? I don't do anything else?"
"Stir it once in a while, maybe. You can add some salt if you want, but I don't usually. And some hacks will tell you to put oil in the water, but that's just made-up bullshit."
Blitzø joined Stolas at the stovetop and found the owl watching the clock dutifully as the pasta simmered. Stolas had been taking their cooking lessons extremely seriously: he would follow every direction Blitzø gave him with an unwavering determination and focus. It was very cute to see an all-powerful prince be so eagerly obedient to his instructions. And admittedly, a little hot.
He was dumping the butter and cream into the saucepan when he felt four eyes boring into him. He looked up to see Stolas watching him fondly.
"How did you learn all of this?"
"My mom taught me some of it, but trial and error, mostly. And this recipe is Moxxie's, I guess."
Stolas returned his gaze to the boiling pasta. "How are Moxxie and Millie? What are they up to during your week off?"
"Good. They're in Wrath right now visiting Millie's sister, I think."
"Mm."
They cooked together in silence for a while, simply enjoying each other's company as the rich aromas of garlic and butter filled the air. Well, Blitzø cooked, while Stolas quite literally watched water boil. Blitzø knew that his boyfriend was ready to try more challenging tasks, but Stolas always insisted that he learned better by watching Blitzø as he worked. Still, he was starting to feel a little guilty about Stolas having nothing to do. This was the first time they'd cooked at his place, after all, so he should at least get to do something fun.
"This is almost done, so you should get started on the garlic bread. Can you get the parsley?"
"Certainly. Would that be in the fridge?"
"Nah, you don't have fresh, so we'll use the dried stuff. I'm pretty sure it's in the pantry on the second shelf."
Stolas paused mid-stir. "How do you know what's in my pantry?"
Oops. Shit. "I… may have stolen some snacks a few times. Sue me."
Stolas playfully smacked his shoulder as he headed to the pantry. "How very naughty. I can't even imagine you, of all people, stealing from me."
Blitzø flashed a toothy grin back at him until Stolas was out of view. He grimaced and turned off the burner as the pot of pasta began to boil over.
--
"Blitzy, this looks absolutely splendid. You did a great job."
"Nah, we did a fucking amazing job," Blitzø corrected as he rummaged through his bag. He hesitated a moment before producing a bottle. "I brought wine to go with your first 'at-home' home-cooked meal. If you want."
Stolas looked up from his plate and gave him a weak smile. "Ah. Um, thank you, dear. That's very sweet, but I'm alright for now."
Stolas hadn't mentioned it, but Blitzø had noticed the bird drinking less and less. In fact, he'd been with him nearly every day this week and Stolas hadn't had a drop. He reached into his bag again to retrieve the other bottle he'd brought.
"How 'bout some sparkling cider?"
--
Blitzø let out a snort of laughter as he watched Stolas flitting around the room. He couldn't help it - the bird looked so damned pleased with himself as he cleaned the kitchen.
"And what's so funny?" Stolas turned his head and arched a bitchy eyebrow.
"S'nothing. Yer cute." The words felt sticky on his tongue. Fuck, that wine was strong - although polishing off the bottle by himself probably hadn't helped.
"You better believe it, darling," Stolas winked. Blitzø returned his attention to the dishes until a faint glow lit up the corner of his vision; he turned again to see Stolas muttering to himself while waving his hand over the stove.
"The fuck was that?"
Stolas's feathers puffed out as he winced and looked away guiltily. "Oh, um, I've been trying my hand at housework a bit, now that the staff have weekends off. This was just a simple cleaning spell I've been practicing."
Blitzø smirked. "So you learned a whole-ass spell instead of picking up a rag? Satan, you royal types really can't stand to do any actual work, can you?"
Stolas reached into the sink from behind and splashed Blitzo with the suds. "I suppose not. Good thing I have you here to keep me in line." He wrapped his arms around Blitzø and pulled out his phone to snap a photo of the two of them. Stolas admired the picture with a delighted hoot and Blitzø feigned a scowl.
"Seriously, Stols? Are you gonna clean or just take pictures?"
"I have cleaned," Stolas pouted. "And it's such a lovely photo, Blitzy!" He turned his phone to show Blitzø the picture. The two of them were beaming at the camera with their cheeks pressed together; a few bubbles were stuck to Blitzø's chin. They looked… happy. Blitzø looked happy. As he studied the photo, Blitzø couldn't help but feel a bit guilty about how good it felt to see his own smile.
"Got me there, Birdy." He angled his head to kiss Stolas on the cheek, but Stolas's fingers laced between his spines and Blitzø was pulled into a deep kiss. Dishes forgotten entirely, he cradled Stolas's face in his hands, his damp fingers leaving sudsy trails in the ruffled feathers as he did so.
"So... wanna make a mess in your nice clean kitchen?"
Notes:
To be clear, sparkling cider refers to the non-alcoholic carbonated juice.
They're making fettucine alfredo, in case you're wondering. I picked it because I cooked it with a friend once, and because Moxxie asked for butter in the pilot, lol.
Also, don't put oil in your pasta water folx. It's a hoax.
Chapter 5
Notes:
I feel like they've gotten more and more OOC the longer I write. But hey, I can dream, right?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Dating Blitzø had led Stolas to many unexpected adventures in places he never would have been privy to in his old life. An underground gay bar in Lust that always played the best music for dancing; a great little thrift shop with a coffee bar that was perfect for lazy Sunday afternoon reading; and once, a forest on Earth that overlooked jewel-toned lakes with a stunning view of the stars. Tonight, they sat in a quaint little diner in Imp City that Blitzø insisted had the best burgers in town. The floors were of questionable cleanliness, the chairs were undeniably imp-sized, and the dinnerware was mismatched. But the food was indeed incredible.
Stolas raised his mug. "Cheers to one year, darling."
Blitzø nodded and tipped his drink to meet Stolas's proffered toast, the pint glass emitting a gentle clink against the chipped ceramic. His eyes suddenly lit up. "Can we do gifts now?" Stolas chuckled and slid the tiny package he'd prepared across the table in reply.
Blitzø eagerly tore into the wrapping paper to reveal the simple golden frame Stolas had picked out. It had been quite the challenge to come up with something meaningful while sticking to the meager price limit they'd agreed upon. But as Blitzø stared down at the photo with a blank expression, Stolas began to wonder if he'd miscalculated.
"Ah, I suppose I should explain," Stolas said hastily. "You've broadened my world in so many ways, big and small. And this photo always reminds me of that. It's silly, I know, but even just doing the dishes with you makes me happier than I ever could have imagined. So every time I see this picture, I remember that night fondly and look forward to all the others like it we'll have for years to come. And... I hope that when you see it, you'll feel the same."
Blitzø finally looked up, patchwork face completely unreadable, and Stolas felt bile rising in his throat. Oh gods, he hates it.
"And by 'remembering that night fondly', you mean the freaky kitchen counter sex, right?" Blitzø maintained his blank look for a few seconds more before finally breaking into a devilish grin. "Kidding. This is great, Stols. Thanks."
Stolas groaned. "Oh, Blitz, really."
"Really though, I get it. I really like doing boring couple shit with you, too. This'll be perfect for my desk."
"About that… I do have a request for you. However, you can feel free to ignore it if you wish. It's your gift, after all."
Blitzø tore his eyes away from the photo to give Stolas a questioning look. "Uhhh… 'kay. What?"
"Can you hang it on your living room wall with the others?"
The imp's eyes narrowed slightly. "Well… sure. Okay. Yeah, I can do that."
"I can get another for your office if you like, darling. It's just… I'd like to think that the photos on your wall represent all of the things you love in your life. The things you should be proud of. Your family, your daughter, your friends, your business… and I would be honoured to be a part of it." Stolas looked down at his hands. "Though I understand if that's too much to ask."
Blitzø reached across the table and took Stolas's hand. "Nah, Feathers, it's totally fine. You are a part of it. To be honest, the only reason you're not up there yet is I don't have any photos of you that are, ah… family-friendly."
Stolas giggled. "Well, I suppose that's fair. I'd imagine Loona appreciates that very much."
"Believe me, if I lived alone, I'd replace the fucking wallpaper with a shrine to that feathered ass. Seriously, Stols, I'd be happy to see your pretty face up on that wall."
At that, Stolas shifted uncomfortably in his seat. This next part was just as important as the gift itself, but now that it was time to say it, he wasn't sure if he could work up the nerve. But fuck it.
"Thank you for humouring me, my love. I look forward to seeing both of our smiling faces on display whenever I come to visit."
Blitzø studied him for a moment, then returned his gaze to the photo once again. After a long while, he managed a mumbled reply.
"Yeah. Sounds good."
Blitzø cleared his throat rather wetly and busied himself by rummaging through his jacket pockets. Stolas picked at his plate and pretended not to notice.
"Here's yours. It's, uh, not much." He tossed a spiral-bound notebook across the table, nearly knocking over Stolas's tea in the process.
The pages were torn in places, and there were a few splotches on the back that looked suspiciously like blood. Blitzø's doodles filled every inch of the cover, save for the handwritten title, "Rezipys". Stolas flipped through the dog-eared pages and found the book was indeed filled with dozens of recipes. Some pages had yellowed recipe cards taped to them, while others included neat handwriting with precise margins, but most of the pages were covered in Blitzø's familiar untidy scrawl. Though there were quite a few scribbles and spelling mistakes, the writing was far more legible than usual - he had clearly put in quite a bit of effort to make every page just right.
Stolas stared down at Blitzø, tears welling in his eyes. "Sorry about the stains. I had to take it to work with me a few times to get it finished in time," Blitzø said nervously. "Do you like it?"
Stolas leapt up from his chair, threw his arms around Blitzø, and sobbed into his shoulder. Based on the mutters coming from the nearby tables, he was clearly making a bit of a scene. But in that moment, Stolas couldn't care less.
"Alright, alright, I get it, Stols. Sit the fuck down already. It's not a big deal," Blitzø huffed as he squirmed to get away from Stolas's embrace. However, when Stolas had finally returned to his seat, Blitzø was beaming up at him, clearly quite pleased with himself. "I put in all the stuff you cooked so far, plus some new recipes for us to try. Oh, and Moxx added a few too."
"Oh, Blitzy, this is absolutely incredible. Thank you!" Stolas hiccuped, attempting to stem a fresh bout of tears. "How did you come up with this?"
"I guess… it's just really cool that you wanna learn how to do stuff on your own when you don't really have to. You've got your staff and everything, I mean." Blitzø paused for a moment to sip his beer. "I know the divorce shit sucked and things haven't been easy for you. But you're getting better at taking care of yourself and shit. Treating yourself better. And I'm proud of you for working so hard at it."
At that perfectly innocuous and very sincere compliment from the man he loved, something inside Stolas shattered. The frank assessment had left him a cornered feral beast, hackles raised and talons scrabbling in the dirt in a desperate bid to escape apprehension. But it was already too late. He had been seen for what he was: a pathetic creature, an embarrassment, a worthless wreck.
He had never, ever talked to anyone about the many things he'd buried away, deep inside where no one else would ever have to see. The shame, the regret, the grief. The struggles. The failures. The self-destruction. He'd always kept everything he hated about himself hidden away with a practiced, concentrated effort. Done every possible thing he could to only portray the goodness in him for the sake of his daughter, the approval his father, the judgement of the world. But somehow, this time, he'd failed.
Upon further reflection, however, Stolas reasoned that he probably should have seen this coming. In the warmth and safety that had enveloped him this past year, he had slowly let down his defences and left himself exposed; and without his awareness or permission, his inadequacies had been exhumed one by one. They had been brought into the sunlight, laid bare on the surface, and tended to with careful, loving hands. The reality of this vulnerability was mortifying, but for the first time in a long time, he felt weightless. Free.
"S'matter? You okay?" Blitzø said through a mouthful of fries.
Stolas blinked rapidly and pulled his surroundings back into focus as he grasped for solid ground.
The din of the restaurant. The metal spirals of the notebook digging into his palm. The comforting scent of gunpowder. The taste of oolong lingering on his tongue. The glow of golden eyes admiring him from across the table.
Blitzø had seen Stolas for all his flaws. And yet, he loved him all the same.
"Yes. I'm doing alright."
A quiet sigh.
"Good."
A warm hand wrapped around his own, squeezing gently.
"I'm always alright, when I'm with you, darling."
A cheshire smile framed in red and white.
"Yeah. Me too, Stolas."
Notes:
This fic was inspired by "Flaws" by Bastille.
Special thanks to my own "Stolas" who has given me so much love and support in my own healing, as well as the many wonderful people in my life who've shared their sobriety stories with me. Our journeys weren't exactly traditional sobriety/recovery stories, in that changing for the better didn't start with an intervention or a rock bottom or a 12-step program. It happened little by little, with a lot of inner work, a bit of self-care, and small silent acts of support from our loved ones. I wanted to honour those types of stories here. Thanks for being part of it. <3
If there's another song that you're interested in seeing an interpretation of (either from my Stolitz Radio Spotify playlist or your own suggestions) please feel free to share in the comments.
cookiethewriter on Chapter 1 Wed 06 Nov 2024 08:08AM UTC
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case_of_kings on Chapter 1 Wed 06 Nov 2024 04:35PM UTC
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KsM60 on Chapter 2 Wed 13 Nov 2024 03:13PM UTC
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KsM60 on Chapter 3 Wed 13 Nov 2024 03:12PM UTC
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Needystolitzfan on Chapter 4 Fri 08 Nov 2024 12:45AM UTC
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case_of_kings on Chapter 4 Fri 08 Nov 2024 03:32AM UTC
Last Edited Fri 08 Nov 2024 04:17AM UTC
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megamegaturtle on Chapter 4 Fri 08 Nov 2024 04:33AM UTC
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case_of_kings on Chapter 4 Fri 08 Nov 2024 04:51AM UTC
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KsM60 on Chapter 4 Wed 13 Nov 2024 03:12PM UTC
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creepy_not_crawly on Chapter 5 Fri 08 Nov 2024 09:21PM UTC
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case_of_kings on Chapter 5 Fri 08 Nov 2024 09:43PM UTC
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KsM60 on Chapter 5 Wed 13 Nov 2024 03:12PM UTC
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megamegaturtle on Chapter 6 Wed 13 Nov 2024 02:47AM UTC
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case_of_kings on Chapter 6 Wed 13 Nov 2024 03:10AM UTC
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KsM60 on Chapter 6 Wed 13 Nov 2024 03:11PM UTC
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case_of_kings on Chapter 6 Wed 13 Nov 2024 08:05PM UTC
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. (Guest) on Chapter 6 Sun 08 Dec 2024 07:19AM UTC
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case_of_kings on Chapter 6 Mon 09 Dec 2024 03:01AM UTC
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