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When one comes into the world, they expect love and affection, something given without hesitance from those who birthed you; or at least something or someone else in the world before it is ripped from you by the cruel experience that is growing older. Not everyone gets soft love growing up. Not everyone gets the grace that is needed to properly conceptualize certain trauma that happens during these core years. Nor those that happen afterwards.
Hong Hong’er would not consider itself as something that has ever earned that grace. Perhaps it was due to nothing more than an unfortunate genetic mutation that caused it all. Perhaps there was simply something deeply wrong with who it would become that everyone was able to see it in the knobby knees and gangly limbs that it assumed should have been more filled out as was common with any other child its age. The world had made it obvious that there was something terrible he had to have done in a past reincarnation. No matter how deeply the little boy had dug its claws into something it would always be ripped away. The one moment it accepted that something was safe, it was torn away from its hands. Leaving the child’s fingertips raw and bloodied with dry eyes and a sore throat, sometimes even literally.
It thought of this while it looked out at the festival below, debating if the drop from this far up would be enough to guarantee the death of something cursed like itself. It thought about if its death would be something that would bring down everyone who didn’t deserve what they were given. Would it would be enough to curse the people who saw its suffering and turned the other way? There were so many people here that it knew it would be thought that someone had pushed the boy instead of it willfully jumping to the processions below. Suddenly, the anxious clamoring it heard distantly stopped and instead rose to a cheer so loud that the black-haired boy couldn’t help but grow curious enough to look.
The scene that greeted it shocked the boy down to its core, a sword and saber clashing in a beautiful dance. Both members of the fight were strong, but Hong’er couldn’t draw its attention from the one in gold and white. Its mouth fell open just slightly. The air was drying out its mouth just slightly as it took a small step forward, forgetting that it was already at the edge of the wall.
Suddenly, there was nothing but air under the boy, and it’s thought was a childish one, a wish its mother was still there to pick it up in her frail arms and take it away from the edge. Its mother’s face wasn’t something it could even properly recall, but it could remember the safety of her warmth. It could recall the way her eyes were soft and gentle.
It had been told to it once that it got its left eye from its mother. Hong’er had tried to look at his reflection in the bodies of water it had found, but the only thing it could see in its own eyes was an empty and cold expression. Hong’er could only look at the world with nothing but a greed too big for its small body where it knew that she had held nothing but a love for the world and all it could offer. It could remember the feeling of its mother’s safety being ripped away by a hand knotted in its wispy black hair. The drop in its stomach as it was pulled to look up to meet colder black eyes with its own mismatched ones was similar to how it felt to suddenly realize the top of the wall was no longer under its feet and it was plummeting to its death far below. Just as when its father’s unforgiving hold had torn a scream from its unused throat, the pressure of dropping so fast pressed one from its tiny lungs, much smaller than the kids it watched grow up with it.
The shrill scream from it caused a sharp ringing in its own ears. The sharp caress of the air whipping around it barely registered over the pounding in its chest. It might have wanted to die less than an hour ago, but this was so much different than what it had planned. That was, until the absence of the chill and a physical presence wrapped itself around it.
Its eyes were shut tight as the warmth enveloped it, bringing it against a solid chest with an arm under it. Hong’er could hear its heart in its chest. Its eyes were shut tightly, its body weight was being pressed into someone’s chest with the constant pressure of fingers digging just slightly into the rags. A small thought plagued its mind about how it hoped that the person who saved it wouldn’t rip the clothes which were one of the few things Hong’er could call its own. It would be near impossible for the boy to get new ones. All the small ten-year-old could think of now was what it felt to be held for the last time, all that could shoot through its mind was wanting to curl itself into the body heat and sob itself to sleep and not having to worry about partaking in such a childish action being far much more than it could afford. Its hands subconsciously curled in the robes that felt almost scratchy yet still softer than its own, softer than any it had ever felt before. Hong’er didn’t have the knowledge for the reason behind why the robes were like nothing it had ever felt due to it having spent so little time close to anyone. No one really wanted to be close to a dirty child, even less so one with a curse like Hong’er.
Hong’er’s eyes snapped open to stare up at who decided to save a lowly orphaned child from an early death, who had decided they were above the general public who stood but or continued walking by when it was being beaten for “stealing” from the trash for just a bite to eat. With its vision halved by the bandages it started to wear to cover its cursed eye it couldn’t see that well, especially since its one uncovered eye was only able to see the underside of a soft chin. However, with that and the colors of the robes it could see, its eyes widened as a weight settled in its chest and a soft warmth settled on its cheeks. The crown prince of Xianle had caught it, the one it had literally (and metaphorically) fallen for hundreds of feet above the two of them was the one holding it in gentle hands.
It almost felt like a promise, at the time, that nothing should befall the small boy everyone else looked at with scorn as long as it remained clasped within these two warm arms. The shock, and what the young boy would come to figure out was admiration, made it forget all about the curse that had been hissed at it since its birth.
Its small hands curled even more tightly in the robes. It could see that its hands had stained the perfect robes, but the boy had always been a selfish child. It’s something it would grow into as the years passed by, but for now the trait adorned it as something to look down upon, something other orphans would jeer at it for. It was outcasted not only by its own family, but also by others struggling with the same predicament.
The boy soon after realized that the bandages covering the one thing that could shatter this moment had come loose. Its voice caught in its throat as it scrambled to press the bandages to its eye to cover it, but upon the two hitting the ground it had realized that its grip was not secure enough for it to only hang on with one hand. Not that it didn’t trust that the crowned prince wouldn’t drop it (he could if he wanted to, Hong’er would not fault him nor would it judge him for it), but it didn’t want to become more of a problem for the other.
So, the young boy did what it thought was best, it buried one side of its face into the nice smelling robes as it watched out with the one eye that it knew was a normal color. For some odd reason, Hong’er realized it wouldn’t mind if this was its last moments. However, it’s attention was soon taken by the mask that had fallen loose so the boy wasn’t able to dwell on the feeling it couldn’t describe that gathered into its chest at this realization.
It heard a clatter somewhere far away, but all was lost on it as its eye widened even more, fighting not to jostle itself to get a closer look as one hand moved from holding it to quickly check over it. Hong’er could feel a soft flush coming to its cheeks as it got a close view of the beloved crowned prince of Xianle. Hong’er could get why everyone said his beauty rivaled the gods and goddesses that Xie Lian was trying so hard to join. At that moment, Hong’er felt like its heart was ready to explode. Xie Lian hadn’t even seemed to be thinking as Hong’er felt itself be tucked close as the two plummeted.
The two had hit the ground and the arms around it moved so the small child was simply being held up in one arm. Being able to be held in only one arm made Hong’er feel something, it felt almost like safety mixed with the awe that someone could so easily carry it. It wasn’t just being put down after they landed either, the crown prince was carrying it during one of the most important festivities of the year. It was going to get to see everything.
Hong’er had missed the glance that the “demon” for the parade had sent to the “warrior”. It hadn’t noticed the panicked look on its savior’s face, nor the screaming from those up above. It only noticed when those eyes were on it again. Dianxia was checking it over and the boy couldn’t even have it in it to make a single sound, it could barely even feel its own skin. All it could do was feel the arm pressing into it.
The man was even more beautiful than it had ever heard about, and the crown prince’s beauty was spoken about by many gossips while out and about.
Soon though, things descended into chaos once more; if it wasn’t so small, so defenseless, Hong’er thinks it would have really enjoyed the clashing of swords going on. Unfortunately, as it was, Hong’er was terrified seeing the clashing swords coming so close to it.
A whimper came from the boy as it tried to make itself smaller. The only small bit of comfort it got was a soothing voice whispering to it and the rumbling from the other’s chest it was tucked even tighter against.
“Don’t be scared.”
Hong’er felt like it could do it. The folds of the other’s robes were clenched tightly in small fists, it’s hands going paler with how tightly it was holding them.
A few more clashes and glints of metal that Hong’er couldn’t follow but its savior easily did so brought awe to it, but it was still shaking. Badly. It could barely breathe under the onslaught. Even if Hong’er knew it was play it was still defenseless, it could easily get hurt and it seemed like the “demon” was aiming for it specifically.
Hong’er couldn’t help its body’s silent responses, its arm moving without its permission to grab onto Dianxia’s shoulder. It didn’t want to fall again; it didn’t want to leave the safety these arms gave it either. It’s hand hit something, and it came loose. Not knowing what it was in this chaos, Hong’er wrapped its hands tightly around the object.
That soothing rumble and words were back as the older whispered to it again, “Don’t worry, nothing will hurt you.” Dianxia spoke a little louder, which Hong’er assumed was not to it, “Mu Qing!”
Hong’er didn’t see the nod that Mu Qing gave in response, its face was already buried in Dianxia’s chest as its eyes were closed tightly.
Then there was a thud, and Hong’er peeked to see. A crude but loud laugh sounded from up above, it was almost unheard by the small boy. Something about its savior being this loud person’s cousin, and he had slain the demon. But Hong’er could see that Mu Qing was still breathing, Hong’er didn’t move from its spot as it peaked around itself from its spot.
They were going inside, and Hong’er still wasn’t put down. It hoped that it wouldn’t get noticed as it quickly wrapped its bandages around its head once more. Once it had finished it heard a clang as something heavy and made of metal hit the floor. Its attention was drawn, and it looked over just to see where both weapons were thrown. Hong’er was shifted so its savior could lay down and begin removing the heavy layers without letting the child go. It barely caught up with what was going on when it found itself lying on top of the chest it was hiding its face in not too long ago.
It eased its body and let it rest, trying to stay quiet and out of the way so it wouldn’t be removed and kicked out by these people.
“That was close. Too close. I’m exhausted.”
They were talking about what it caused as if it wasn’t there. That was good, it could handle this. The object was clutched even tighter to its chest. It could tell it was crushing whatever it was, but it also didn’t want to have the object taken from it. It had no idea what it really was, but it did know it would serve as a reminder of the day it decided to change its life and its new center of its life.
A new voice, not the Mu Qing person and not its savior spoke up and if Hong’er could kill someone with its mind this person’s death would be long and drawn out.
“Your Highness, what are you doing bringing that child in too?”
Hong’er froze in its spot, not moving even as it cursed this new man internally. Its savior had sat up as the chest vibrated against its ear.
“What was I to do, throw him back out on the streets? It’s a mess out there, and he’s such a tiny creature. He’d get trampled to death.” Morbid, but true. Hong’er appreciated the care and thoughtfulness for it even if it was a stranger. If this is the care Dianxia showed to strangers, then Hong’er never wanted to leave his side.
Hong’er felt those hands which held it gently move to move it back a bit so he could look at it more thoroughly. Hong’er didn’t let go of his robes, and it didn’t let go of the thing in its hands.
The hand that moved it started carding through its hair, and Hong’er still didn’t dare to move or even blink. “How old are you, little one?”
The air hung over the group, and Hong’er did not move still. It didn’t even open its mouth as it stared at its savior, and to be honest Hong’er wasn’t quite sure, maybe it was ten or eleven, but it had lost count with everything else in its life. It had bigger things to worry about rather than keeping track of its age.
This seemed to cause the older one to move on, seeing that he wouldn’t get an answer, “How did you come to fall earlier?”
Hong’er didn’t get much time to answer that one, as the voice belonging to Mu Qing spoke up for it, “Your Highness, the child probably doesn’t dare to speak. He’s obviously scared witless.”
Not that Hong’er would have told Dianxia that it was hoping to curse him, not when it is now planning to devote its life to whatever Dianxia wanted. Hong’er still didn’t move as the hand began moving a bit faster, then slowed for a few more seconds before stopping completely and that hand left his hair.
“What a silly child.” Silly was better than demon. Hong’er felt like preening. That happy feeling soon left as the next words out of its savior’s mouth made it pause. “Feng Xin, go find someone to take him out through the side doors when you get a chance. And check if he’s injured,” It felt the hand move through its hair to mess with the edge of its bandages, “his head is wrapped in bandages.”
Hong’er’s hands tightened on the robes. Its heart was in its throat, it couldn’t let any of them see its eye. It didn’t want to lose this; it didn’t want this moment tainted and for yet another person to call it evil.
“All right.” There was movement and Hong’er felt someone behind it now, “Give him here.”
Not even someone it at least knew and now it didn’t even get the small comfort of a constant stroke of its hair as it was coming to terms that he was being kicked out.
Hong’er felt two hands grab it and lift it up so the other could grab him, his hands tightened in the robes so it couldn’t be removed. It seemed like this almost worked, as it heard a confused tone from the man behind it.
“Your Highness, why haven’t you let go?”
“I did let go…” those eyes were looking at him with a puzzled expression before his eyes met it’s balled up fists in the fabrics.
And in response to this, it heard a soft but amused laugh from its savior, Hong’er couldn’t tell if it was annoyance or from amusement. Either way, it felt better than the scowls and annoyance from other people.
“Your Highness, the child doesn’t want to leave!” Another voice spoke, one Hong’er wasn’t familiar with at all. Unimportant then, the familiarity in the voices of the person called Mu Qing and the one called Feng Xin was not present in this voice.
Hong’er felt its chest get tight with a choking feeling as the man in front of him gave a beautiful laugh. Hong’er felt itself fighting warmth from bubbling up inside of it and showing on its cheeks. “Is that right? That won’t do.”
Hong’er’s gut dropped as Dianxia continued, “I’ve got my own things to take care of. Go home, little guy.”
Hong’er felt distant as it loosened its grip, watching absentmindedly as the clothes fell into place. Even as Hong’er was pulled away by the rough hands he didn’t stop staring at its savior, even as Dianxia stopped looking back to focus on someone else. It heard grumbling as it was pulled away, as the hands dug into its underarms as he was dangled in the air as far out as Feng Xin could hold him.
Dianxia no longer tried to talk to it, but Hong’er didn’t mind. “Don’t dangle him like you’re picking up trash. You’re scaring him.”
It was set back down as warmth filled its chest again. Dianxia was too kind to something like it.
Feng Xin was speaking again but Hong’er didn’t look away from Dianxia, “Enough joking around. The State Preceptor is freaking out. Your Highness better think about how you’re going to face him later.”
The room went silent, but Feng Xin didn’t pause, grabbing its wrist roughly and dragging it out. Hong’er didn’t fight the dragging, Dianxia wanted it gone and it would go.
As soon as they were outside, Feng Xin let go of Hong’er and moved to turn so he could check its bandages. Hong’er was barely thinking when the other had turned to it, simply kicking as hard as it could before ducking around Feng Xin and sprinting away. It didn’t look back to see if the man was giving chase. It’s breathing was harsh, whistling in and out when it slipped between two building and finally stopping its fleeing.
It hunched over, placing its free hand on its knee, trying to calm its heaving chest. It brought up the object clasped tightly in its hand, relaxing its fingers to look at what it was. A bright red pearl with a tassel attached rested innocently in its opened palm, glinting in the sun.