Archive of Our Own

Your hair is flufflier.

Suo thought as the sun came through the door.

It makes sense, after all summer rains are a common occurrence this time of year. Not that he knew from experience, the density of his hair and benefits of his own genetics prevented Suo’s hair from looking anything but perfect. What many struggled with every morning, Suo had never experienced, however, he could  sympathize with the wariness and anguish of others at having a hairstyle out of their control, though if he was honest, he couldn’t care less.

At least until his sun’s furrowed brow graced his face in disgust.

“Good morning, Nire-kun”

Suo moved a seat to the left, making room for Nirei to sit next to him, in the middle of the circle of 5 people the Friends were used to.

“Good morning Nire-chan”

“Good morning!!”

“Amazing morning, Nirei-kun!!”

“Morning…”

Before he could say a word, Kiryu beat him to it.

“Huh? Why the long face, Nirei-chan?” He tilted his head to the side, putting his cell phone aside.

“Ah, it’s nothing!! It’s just… The rainy season has started”

“You don’t like rain?” Sakura frowned. “Are you afraid of thunder?”

“It’s not that.”

“So?”

He spread his legs slightly, leaving just enough room to place his hands between them, holding the chair so he could rock his body back and forth, the slight movement ruffling his unruly blonde locks.

Cute.

So so so cute.

“…My hair frizzes and becomes frizzy with humidity.”

“Aah, I understand you” Kiryu said, stretching out the last syllable in understanding.

“Huh? What the hell are you talking about? Your hair looks the same as always.” Sakura narrowed his eyes, as if that action would somehow allow him to better analyze his friend.

“I don’t notice it either. You always have your curly locks” Tsugeura agreed.

“Don’t say that, even if you can’t tell, If Nirei-chan says it’s fluflier, then it is”

He couldn’t help but tremble and lower his head.

“N-No, it’s okay! If it doesn’t show, then it’s better for me! That way I don’t have to worry about anything” His awkward laugh was easily disguised as embarrassment and nervousness.

But, it shows.

The locks on your nape, instead of holding their downward position, are tangled and curled upward. The short on your forehead have moved to the left instead of your usual centered bangs. And the fluffiness at the back of your head has increased by at least 0.8 centimeters. Without a doubt, your hair is poofy. It bothers you, doesn’t it? Don’t you want anyone to see those Little details? Or are you annoyed that no one has noticed?

However, it does make you look cute. So you shouldn’t be sad, but I also don’t want others to notice those adorable little things about you.

“Have you been using the shampoo I recommended?”

“Oh! Yes! But a few days ago I ran out of conditioner and I haven’t been able to go buy a new one”

“That explains it. Buy it as soon as possible, it will help reduce frizz and fluffiness from the weather”

“Really? Then I’ll do that!!”

His smile and enthusiasm returned.

Was it just Suo, or had the cloudy day become brighter?

“Good for you Nire-kun. Your problem is solved”. Suo leaned his body towards him, just a little. And if Nirei’s constant back and forth movement plus Suo’s leaning caused their heads to bump ever so gently, it was just an accident.

Premeditated accident, but an accident nonetheless.

“If you buy it today, your hair will be less frizzy tomorrow, so why not take advantage of the time and go for the conditioner after school?”

Nirei’s eyes met Suo’s, he thought about it for a few seconds, until the lightness of his smile captivated Suo.

“Suo-san is right! We have to go after school!!” he said, looking at him.

A small, very small flutter in Suo’s eyes made its appearance, but it was so fleeting that no one noticed it, just like the sudden but present heartbeat that only he knew was there. It’s funny, we can’t feel our everyday heartbeats, but there are certain kinds of heartbeats that make you realize that there is indeed a heart beating inside you. A heart that throbs with a sense of warmth.

Suo only has that kind of heartbeat when Nirei is present.

He was about to offer to accompany him, but Nirei beat him to it. After all, the way Nirei looked straight into his eyes while stating the (date) after-school Friends outing was a clear sign that Nirei was inviting Suo to go together-

“Are you in, Sakura-san?”

And then another kind of heartbeat appeared.

A grotesque, icy throbbing shook his heart. Like a tiny pang that doesn’t physically hurt, but it actually hurts.

“Haaaaahh?! Can’t you see the weather? It’ll be pouring rain by the time school ends, I don’t want to get wet so no thanks.” Even in the face of Sakura’s refusal, Nirei didn’t lose heart.

“Oh come on Sakura-san!! The store isn’t far from our usual route, it’ll just be a small detour! And If it rains, it’s no problema!!” He raised his fists in victory. “I brought an umbrella! We can share it!”

“S-Share an umbrella?! No! No way! I’d rather get wet”. Embarrassment colored Sakura’s cheeks.

And you still have the luxury of rejecting him?

One, two, three. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. As always, so slight that no one can notice it.

“I brought an umbrella too, you can share it with me Sakura-kun!” Usual, mocking, normal smile.

Suo knew he was inviting himself, call it childish, but no one was going to question it, after all they were a trio. It was normal, it was usual.

Sakura’s cheeks took on a redder color, almost as red as Umemiya’s tomatoes.

“NO! DEFINITELY NOT!! BASTARD!!”

“Awww, so cruel.” He wasn’t hurt, if anything he was in a good mood. The boy was too easy to tease, but that was only half true.

He likes to take it out on Sakura.

“But then, that means you didn’t bring an umbrella, right Sakura-kun?”

The expression on Sakura’s face only affirmed the foolish question.

“You knew it was going to rain today, but you still didn’t bring anything to cover yourself from the rain?”

“I forgot it at home!!”

“So don’t be so stubborn and come with us. That way you’ll avoid getting soaked, and most importantly,  you'll spend quality time with us, your friends.”

“AAAHHH SHUT UP!! SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!”

He couldn’t help but laugh, a soft laugh, born of genuine joy.

Ahh. If only…

“I would like to accompany you, but I can’t, I already have a commitment today” Kiryu smiled, looking away at Tsugeura, who noticed it and smiled.

“Me too!! Sorry guys, maybe next time!!”

“I already told you I’m not going!”

“Now that I think about it, there’s a dumpling shop down the road, should we stop by?”

“Ah! That’s a great idea Suo-san!”

“Stop making plans without my consent!!”

“Don’t you want to try the dumplings, Sakura-kun?”

“Oh fuck off!! You won’t eat the dumplings anyway!! Ugh!” Sakura steps back, his frown lessening a bit, his thoughtful wrinkled face was funny, you might even say adorable.

The sound of his stomach growling confirmed the answer to everyone, and left Sakura red from head to toe.

“Then, it’s settled! That’s Good, isn't it Nire-kun?”

Nirei nodded expectantly.

It was contradictory, his little friend’s smile brought butterflies to his stomach, but remembering that that smile came from the joy of another person’s presence left a bitter taste in his throat.

He loves that smile, he hates the reason behind it.

“You were right, Sakura-kun. It’s raining”

Sakura just grunted.

Indeed, it was raining, but unfortunately for Sakura, it was a light rain, the kind of rain that makes children grab their raincoat or their favorite umbrella and go outside to play jumping in puddles or find snails in plants.

“But it’s not a big deal. It’s just a gentle drizzle”

“That’s right, we can still go!! We have the umbrellas after all.” Nirei’s excitement didn’t die down, it only increased.

Before Nirei could say another word, Suo almost immediately extended his hand, handing the umbrella to his friend.

“Hah?”

“Use it, Sakura-kun” The smile never left his face.

Sakura raised an eyebrow.

“It’s yours”

“Yes, but I’ll lend it to you. You can use this one.” He handed over his umbrella almost forcibly, Sakura had no choice but to hold it.

“But what about you?”

Suo spread his smile, his earrings following the movement of his head as he leaned towards the smallest of his Friends.

“Nire-kun and I will share the same umbrella”

“Huh?”

“HAH????!!”

The difference in their reactions amused Suo.

“Well, since Sakura-kun finds it too embarrassing to share an umbrella, then it would be better if you use a single umbrella and we two use the other.”

His words reflected pure logic. Neither Sakura’s embarrassment nor Nirei’s surprise could refute the correct and reasonable solution.

Although this decisión had not been born out of reasonable feelings. But who was to know after all.

“As you wish, let’s just hurry up” Trying to escape, Sakura ventured into the rain, taking shelter under that elegant violet umbrella.

Suo looked away, focusing on the blonde friend of his.

Nirei’s sigh ended in a small smile that pressed together his lips.

Forgive me.

He absolutely understood what he was doing, Suo knew how cruel his actions were. But his conscience did not match his feelings, which was not normal for him.

His sensei taught him better, feel with your heart, act with your head. He had never been denied the ability to feel, in fact, his sensei encouraged him to never hide who Suo was, but he did not want to be an open book, he aimed to be an eternally hidden secret, a book closed with a padlock hidden a soft-textured book cover.

And even though his sensei called him stubborn, he always praised Suo’s natural ability to think rationally at all times, never letting emotions control him. Not many could achieve something like that.

Although of course, everything changed when he met Sakura.

Oh Sakura, at first, he dismissed him as a fool, an idiot who was only words and no actions, until he shut Suo down.

Sakura, that flower was leaving its roots in every person he met, Suo was no exception. Suo quickly let himself be influenced by him, he learned to show, even if to a lesser extent, his emotions. Nothing was completely naked, he could never get rid of his cover, his mask, it was something about him that he didn’t want anyone to take away from him, but he also chose to remove that mask at Will through actions, especially in his fights.

The battles against Shishitoren and KEEL are evidence of that.

Sakura had taught him the strength that comes from emotions, how it’s okay to fight for what you feel. Sakura himself is the living proof of that.

He couldn’t help but feel respect and rivalry towards him. Sakura was everything Suo couldn’t be, and he didn’t envy him for that. Suo encouraged his friend to never let go of that conviction and kindness, he wanted to see him grow and become a great person in the future. Sakura was his rival, his equal, his precious friend, and that would never change.

Yes, Sakura showed him that it was okay to feel, but Nirei… Nirei showed him the worst version of himself. The worst part of it all is that the boy hadn’t even done it on purpose.

Nirei taught him to feel with his head, to act under his heart.

Sensei will make fun of me if he finds out.

Extending his hand, Suo silently asked for the sunflower-patterned umbrella. Nirei understood and gladly handed it over. Like a gentleman, Suo offered him the space beside him under the umbrella.

“Shall we go?”

Nirei nodded. “Thank you, Suo-san”

He loves the rain, Suo really loves it.

There was no better excuse that would allow him to share a small space with the only person he desperately wanted to share the same personal space with.

Like a hawk on the prowl, he quickly noticed it.

Your shoulder.

“Come closer Nire-kun”

“D-Don’t worry Suo-san- It’s nothing.”

“Don’t worry about me getting soaked, we both fit perfectly under the umbrella”

And to prove his point, Suo placed his right shoulder against Nirei’s left shoulder, showing that Nirei could indeed cover himself completely under the umbrella, as his shoulders were smaller than Suo’s.

Beautiful.

A whisper, a gentle phrase spoken in the softest voice Suo could offer, this kind of voice was only reserved for one person.

“See? Now Nire-kun is protected from the rain.”

Nirei’s cheeks turned a lovely color red, perhaps because of the sudden lack of space between them, or perhaps because of that touching voice, whatever the reason, Suo’s heart filled with joy. And if maybe his left shoulder was getting soaked due to the angle of the umbrella, that didn’t matter to him, not when this way Nirei was kept dry and warm.

Heartbeats, heartbeats, heartbeats.

Warm, soft, gentle.

Suo treasures this kind of heartbeats.

I adore you.

Suo could live in this comfortable bubble forever, in fact, he doesn’t want this moment to ever end; he wants this afternoon, with the cold rain of the evening, illuminating warm rays of sunlight, accompanied by the soft cooing of the drizzle, sharing a weak warmth through his shoulders, to be eternal.

I adore you.

He wants so badly for Nirei to stay like this all the time, every day, by his side. A space where only the two of them exist, call it selfish, he doesn’t care.

He would give anything to have another 5 minutes like this.

Please, please, please, please give me a little more, just a little more time.

Suo implored anyone who could hear his prayers.

Silence fell between them, which was never awkward, it made Suo feel calm, like something natural, he never felt forced to continue a conversation, he hoped Nirei felt the same way.

Curiosity got the better of him, turning his gaze away from the road, Suo returned to his habit of staring. A quick glance at Nirei, which always filled him with joy, caused him disgust.

Nirei’s adorable chocolate-brown eyes that sometimes sparkled under the sunlight were beautifully staring at the back in front of them.

That look, a horribly gentle look.

It remained fixed on him.

But I’m the one standing by your side.

Sakura, who had been distracted by a snail stuck to a lamppost, slipped, not enough to fall, but enough to make Nirei laugh.

Why do you only look at him?

“Be careful, Sakura-san!”

Sakura groaned. “It was just a slip!”

Hey, look at me, I’m here too.

“If you want we can stop to see the snail.”

“I wasn’t seeing it!”

“You don’t have to lie! I like snails too!”

“I-It’s not that I like them.”

“Oh! Look, there’s another one!”

And then the spell was broken.

Nirei abandoned the umbrella, getting wet for a few seconds until he reached Sakura’s side under the umbrella, who exploded in blushes at the closeness.

Don’t go.

“Look, there are two snails!”

Sakura wanted to retort, but his clumsy and adorable curiosity got the better of him, seeing those snails. “I-It’s true”

“Do you think they are partners?”

“Partners?”

“A couple”

“W-What?!” The usual blush.

“Some snails take advantage of the rains to find a mate.”

“I don’t care!!” Curiosity turned to embarrassment. Sakura couldn’t stand it, he walked away, leaving Nirei under the rain, though not for long.

“Hey! Sakura-san!” He puffed out his cheeks.

The sunflower umbrella protects Nirei from the rain in less than 3 seconds.

“A-Ah, thank you Suo-san”

“Don’t do that again.”

Cold, his voice was cold, too calm. Nirei was startled.

Realizing his mistake, he quickly smiled. “You’re going to catch a cold, please don’t expose yourself to the rain like that again.” He changed the tone of his voice as gently as possible.

Lowering his head in regret, Nirei nodded. “I’m sorry”

Suo’s heart contracted.

No. I’m sorry, don’t make that face. Sorry, I’m not mad at you.

With his free hand, Suo touched Nirei’s forehead with his index finger. A gentle touch.

“I’m sorry, I’m not angry, I just care about you.”

“Still, I’ll be more careful, thank you for worrying about me.” Nirei looked at Suo, smiling at him, an embarrassed smile.

The sticky envy stuck to his chest made an appearance, he envies the smiles that Nirei gives to Sakura, he doesn’t like these sad smiles he receives.

He wants to stroke his head, he wants to hug him and tell him everything is okay, but that’s all Suo can do, want, long for.

“…Hey, c-come on, hurry up! Or the dumplings will run out”

Looking adorably embarrassed as always, Sakura stared at the ground, a reasonable distance away from them. Even though he had run away from Nirei, he was waiting for them both solemnly. Even though he won’t admit it, everyone can read Sakura like an open book, no one can question that he loves them, he loves his friends.

Sadness, Suo feels sadness, he loves his friend Sakura, he loves him so much that it is impossible for him to hate him.

“Oh, yes! Come on Suo-san!” Nirei raises his fists to his chest, Suo is the one carrying the umbrella, so Nirei can’t run to Sakura’s side without getting wet. The taller one nods and resumes his pace, secretly watching Nire.

Bright eyes, rosy cheeks, a smile bathed in longing. All of it in Sakura’s direction.

A heartbeat, heavy as a rock falling to the ground.

I know.

That’s why he deliberately prevented Nirei from going out alone with Sakura after class, why he convinced his two Friends that the most rational option was tol et Sakura have an umbrella while the two of them shared the same one, why he didn’t suggest to Nirei to walk beside Sakura for the afternoon.

Suo knew this, and yet acted for his own benefit.

And then you wonder why he chose him and not you.

Suo kept his tense smile for the rest of the afternoon.

Suo rested his face in his left hand, diverting his attention.

You would think that Furin highschool was free from classes and studies, but no, Umemiya had been very clear from the beginning about not only taking care of others, but of themselves, which included their studies.

So maybe the students at Furin High School had easier, less strict classes, but they had them nonetheless. Most of them weren’t interested, but they tried their best in academics. Of course, there were some exceptions, some fell asleep in class or were close to falling asleep, while others took classes quite seriously.

Like Nirei.

Nirei, who was one seat in front of Suo on the right, was one of the few students who actually paid attention to the classes. If the three notebooks plus his textbook full of notes were not proof of that, what stood out the most was how his concentration never wavered, always paying attention to the teacher’s teachings.

Of course, he didn’t have the same concentration he has when writing down information about people he considers cool and strong. It was easy to notice, at least in Suo’s humble opinión, after all Nirei’s eyes didn’t shine when he studies like when he finds out a new piece of information, his nostrils didn’t flare when he discovered a secret, he didn’t purse his slips like he does when searching for a name, a face, in his database.

However, he did possess certain behavioral patterns characteristic of when he was studying. For example, when he doesn’t understand a problema, he puffs out his cheeks slightly, showing his frustration, which proceeds to deflate when he finally understands it. Or when he sticks out his tongue slightly when he puts a sticky note in his book every time he has a piece of information that Will help him solve a problem. Or Suo’s favorite, when in the middle of his concentration, his left hand wanders off and unconsciously ends up drawing random doodles, Suo assumes that’s why the third notebook exists.

One of his notebooks is for writing down information that the teacher explained to him, the second notebook is for writing down the same problems again and solving them himself, and the third notebook exists exclusively for Nirei’s unconscious scribbles.

At first, Suo was surprised that Nirei was ambidextrous, however, when he mentioned it to him, Nirei denied it, claiming he cannot write with his left hand even if he tries; he explained that his left hand is guided by mere instinct, he is able to subconsciously scribble, but if he tries on purpose he cannot even draw a straight line.

Nire-kun has so many skills.

It’s not that Suo was irresponsible with his studies, it’s just that today’s topic was one he had already mastered, so he could afford some time off. (Or at least that’s what he told to himself every time he took a “break” in the middle of classes)

The mental exhaustion of studying was easily relieved whenever he indulged in watching Nirei for a few minutes. He was so entertaining to watch, never staying still, always in the middle of one of his cute habits. How can a boy be so endearing? Suo didn’t need to answer that question.

PAM!

Of course he noticed it, after all his gaze was focused on that seat, he noticed how the moment he let go of the pencil in his left hand, it ended up falling off his seat. Fortunately for Suo, the lost pencil rolled all the way to his own seat.

Lifting the pencil, he extended it towards Nirei’s seat, who had already turned to retrieve it, causing both of their gazes to collide.

Suo smiled, handing the pencil over to Nirei’s hand, memorizing the warmth of his fingers.

“Thank you very much, Suo-san” He whisper.

“It’s nothing, Nire-kun” he also whispered.

Nirei looked at the pencil, contemplating something before turning back to Suo, raising his right hand, cupping his mouth, as if trying to hide next words. Eyes half-closed happily, eyebrows raised, the brightness through the window illuminating his beautiful freckles. A soft expression, along with the gentle voice of the whisper.

“Do your best, Suo-san!”

One heartbeat, two heartbeats, three heartbeats, four, five, six, seven…

He returned the smile and the whisper.

“You too, Nire-kun!”

Nirei returned to his seat, continuing with his notes, his left hand returning to doodling.

Meanwhile, Suo, with his head facing the window, leaning the lower part of his face on his left palm, was in the midst of a heart attack brought on by his own heart. The beating had not stopped, it had only increased, to the point where he could no longer hear the professor’s explanation. The rumble of his own heart resonated in his ears like drums at an event.

Not to mention the red in his cheeks that he tried so hard to hide.

Intense emotions couldn’t be repressed to the point of hiding them, so his best option was to use his right hand as a means to contain what Little rationality he had left in his brain, he gripped the edge of his table so hard that his knuckles turned white. It helped to some extent, but it was still taking time to regain control of himself.

Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful.

If his heart was in turmoil, his mind was a mess. He could barely form coherent thoughts.

His smile. His voice. To me. Adorable. So pretty. So cute. So so so so so so cute.

The only seats that could have Heard them was the seat to Suo’s right, luckily Sugishita, as always, was sleeping soundly, so Suo was able to keep that whisper to himself. He didn’t know what he would have done if someone else besides him had heard those encouraging words.

Suo considers the pros and cons of murder.

At first Suo had no ulterior motive.

He agreed to train Nirei after witnessing the conviction in his eyes. Nirei, who couldn’t fight, wished to change, wanted to change, so he made a selfish request, although in Suo’s opinión it wasn’t selfish at all, it was a brazen but brave request. He couldn’t feel anything but admiration for his friend; Little did Suo know at the time that that request was one of the many reasons that his own heart had Nirei’s name engraved on it to this day.

Of course at first it was strictly out of a desire to help him to get better, but now it was different. Suo wasn’t a liar, well, yes, he was, but his lies were always to divert attention from any information they could get out of him, however, he never lied when it came to others.

Suo was honest, if one of his friends needed improvement in their fighting style, he wouldn’t encourage them, he would tell them without filter what they were failing at, but he would offer solutions. Suo wasn’t one to lie to himself either, so when he finally understood his own feelings he didn’t deny them for a second, he confirmed them and in fact let them develop to the point where he is today: stupidly infatuated with a boy he can't have.

So yes, Suo doesn’t lie, so he can’t lie to himself that he doesn’t look forward to every Monday, Wednesday, Friday (and occasionally weekends): The days they train together.

Nirei is advancing slowly, but steadily. Suo has no doubt that at the rate they are going, he will soon be able to protect himself completely. Dodging has been hard, but not as hard as attacking, they are still a long way from that, baby steps.

But Suo takes his duty as a teacher seriously, he is serious, and does not give false hope. And holds back just enough for Nirei to learn, but without getting too hurt. Saying that Suo deserved a medal was not an exaggeration at all, after all, who would be willing to face their precious person and hurt them under your own hands?

A few names came to Suo’s mind.

But at least he wasn’t like that, he didn’t want to hurt Nirei, but holding back would be disrespectful towards him, so even if it hurts him, he would continue doing it until he brought Nirei to the best state he could be in as a fighter, as a defender of the city.

However, that didn’t stop him from secretly enjoying the training, he wasn’t a fan of hurting his friend, but the moments during and after the sessions were precious to Suo.

The times Suo could hold Nirei, even if it was just to stop him from falling; the times he held his hand, even if it was just to stop a blow; when after their session, they would sit together on the shore and Nirei would let him treat his wounds with the utmost care, when his fingers would wipe cotton with disinfectant over her scraped palms, when he could feel his freckled cheeks as he applied a compress; all of those times were small and selfish victories that brightened Suo’s week.

Of course he'd love to spend time with Nirei in the most opposite way possible. He has dreamed of spending an entire afternoon at that tea shop, just chatting and holding Nirei's hand as they eat to their hearts' content (or at least Nirei), but Suo doesn't have time to dream, so he'll take what he can get.

Currently, he was standing at the school entrance waiting to see that blond hair. Normally they left school together, but this time Tsubaki had asked Nirei for help in locating the names and faces of some first-year students. Suo was about to accompany him, until the same blond told him that he didn't want to bother him, that he preferred him to go ahead and wait for him in the usual place since he wasn't sure how long it would take.

Suo smiled to himself, sighing. If only Nirei knew how just being able to spend more time with him was a reward for Suo. Nirei could take Suo anywhere he wanted to do the most tedious and boring thing, and he would still be more than grateful for that precious time, Suo was never bored when he had Nirei around. Hell, he would even accompany Tsugeura to one of her ridiculous training sessions to talk about his philosophies as long as he could stay by Nirei's side.

Wow. The things I would do for you, Nire-kun.

That's why he decided to wait for him at the school entrance and not at their usual meeting place, any minute with Nirei was a minute of extra joy that he could get.

Nire-kun is taking a while. Maybe I should have insisted more and stayed.

But then he remembered how the boy put his hands together in a sign of forgiveness, but also asking for a favor, his big puppy eyes looking up with his head down, and that nod.

How could he deny Nirei something when he gave him that adorable expression?

Learn to control yourself better, Suo Hayato .

Bsst. Bsst.

There was no one around, so he surely checked his phone as soon as he heard the notification.

It was Nirei.

Nirei-kun!

Nire-kun: I'm so sorry, Suo-san! I have a family emergency! I won't be able to join you for training today! I'm really sorry, it will definitely not happen again!! I swear!! I'm really sorry!!

...

As if someone had pressed a switch, Suo Hayato fell to his knees on the ground, his hands flat against the pavement. All his good spirits were replaced by disappointment, sadness and, above all, loneliness. He was like an animal whose owner had left home and would not see him for a few days.

Thank goodness there was no one around to see the pathetic state the famous Suo Hayato was in. No one would believe it even if he was seen.

There's nothing I can do, it's an emergency after all.

Suo clenched his fists even on the ground.

But still… I can't help but feel this way.

With a sigh of acceptance, Suo Hayato came back to his senses. He stood up and wiped the few specks of dust off his knees, immediately replying to the message.

Suo: I understand, it can't be helped. Don't worry, I know it must have been a big emergency, please stay safe, and I hope everything turns out well.

He sent an adorable sticker and finally put the phone away.

Well, there was nothing else to do, Suo couldn't keep complaining, so he started his way back home.

Until, before crossing the corner, he heard it.

“Okay, okay! I get it, just leave it!! Argh!!”

¿Sakura-kun?

Right, he had also separated from them to talk to Umemiya. But had he stayed at school all this time?

He was about to call out to him when a blonde haired boy walked next to Sakura.

“Mooo, Sakura-san, you don’t understand it at all.”

Heartbeats, new heartbeats appeared. Heartbeats that followed a slow and heavy rhythm, his chest felt bombarded by these hollow and slow beats.

Faster than he had ever moved before, Suo hid behind the wall at the corner of the street, his eye opened wider than ever, his pupils had not changed, but his lips remained properly pressed together.

What is this?

Why…?

He peeked his head out slightly, luckily, the two boys were going in the opposite direction, Suo could only see the backs of his two friends.

What did this mean? Nirei said he had a family emergency, but he looked calm and collected. Sakura had disappeared after leaving with Umemiya, he hadn't said a single word to them, and now they were both leaving school together, alone.

Just the two of them…

Heartbeats, fast beats, hard, heavy.

Suo couldn't hear their conversation, but it seemed that Nirei was the more excited of the two. Sakura followed the conversation, but didn't seem that excited, in any case he seemed to listen attentively to Nirei but didn't motivate the conversation much.

At least until Nirei who had his hands crossed behind his back, playfully lunged to the right, causing his shoulder and Sakura's to gently collide, this startled Sakura, who looked visibly embarrassed, however, he didn't move away or push him away, he stayed in the same position looking at him with a frown.

Whatever Nirei had told him, Sakura just seemed to think about it, then put his hand between Nirei's soft blonde locks, caressing his head harder than he should, but Nirei didn't seem bothered by this, his smile only growing wider with each caress.

His smile, Nirei's smile… the way that physical contact he had never seen those two have before, the familiarity, the acceptance, and even the joy of that action, all of it, made him nauseous.

You lied to me. You canceled our plans for Sakura-kun?

Nirei's adorable laugh reached his ears, that sweet sound that always warmed his soul, was now only creating an emptiness in his chest.

Oh, right. That's how it is.

Suo leaned his back against the wall, refusing to watch them any longer.

Of course you would choose him. Sakura is… Sakura is Sakura, no one can compare to him.

His chest contorted, and he instinctively brought both hands to his chest, clutching his shirt.

But still, still… Nire-kun.

Throbbing, disgusting and rapid throbbing, deep throbbing, throbbing accompanied by an indescribable pain, Suo had never felt this kind of pain, not even when he had broken a rib for being arrogant with his master, he remembers being unable to move even an inch for weeks, that pain, that terrible pain, did not compare even a little with this agonizing pain.

It hurts. It hurts a lot, Nire-kun.

He lost the strength in his legs, letting himself slide down the wall until he fell to the ground. He curled up, hiding his face between his knees.

Why are you with Sakura? Where are you going? Why are you hiding this from me?

A part of his brain, the logical part, was telling him that there must be a reason, Suo knows better than anyone that they wouldn't hide something from Suo so blatantly if it wasn't important. But the sentimental part of Suo was screaming at the top of his lungs, preventing any rational thought.

It wasn't normal for him, but these feelings weren't normal for him either.

What if it's a date?

Something broke, the thin thread that held it together snapped.

Images and images filled Suo's tired brain: Nirei and Sakura, having their first date right now, trying to keep things as calm as possible, Sakura is a beginner at this kind of things, Nirei too, maybe that's why they were so casual, two boys trying to figure out this new side of life, silly and cute beginners venturing into new emotions.

Suo's eye was itchy.

The way Sakura played with Nirei's hair, Suo could only imagine, how must it have felt? Was his hair soft? Dry? Fluffy? Normal? Why were you so casual? Suo would have given anything to have had the chance, Sakura doesn't know, he doesn't know how much he had wanted to touch those sun kissed locks, and Sakura touched it so easily, Sakura initiated the touch, and Nirei gladly accepted it.

Bitter envy was sucking at his insides, he didn't want to drown in envy, he didn't want to hate his friend.

Think about something else , think about something else, think, think, think, think, think, think-

Suo-san!!

Nirei's voice, his warm voice, echoed in his head.

Nirei calling his name, Nirei looking for him, wants to show him something, of course Suo wants to know what it is.

Suo-san, I'm sorry I kept it from you...

Nirei holds a hand larger than his own.

No

The truth is that-

¡¡NO!!

A single, bitter tear slides down his cheek, not making a sound, a silent waterfall. Suo can't take it anymore, he's at his limit, the pain in his chest hasn't stopped for a single second, his heartbeats echo in his ears, he hates it, he hates it, he hates it, he hates it, he hates it, he hates it-

Nire-kun...

Suo just wants to rest.

He needed a moment alone.

He has no idea what time it is, but the darkness of the sky gives him a clue, dusk has hidden Suo under a blanket of stars. He doesn’t even remember how he got to his room, but he does remember the moment when the pain in his chest had traveled to his esophagus, it was a strange pain, sometimes it stopped, when his mind went blank for a few seconds, and sometimes the pain came back, accumulating like a snowball rolling down a snowy mountain, it only grew bigger and bigger until it became an avalanche. It was horrible, he couldn’t stop feeling miserable for something so trivial, and that was the worst, it was just a silly situation, it was nothing serious like a significant loss, no one had died, he hadn’t lost anything…

No, I lost something.

He hid his eyes behind his forearms. His good eye has not stopped watering, a lonely and heartbreaking waterfall, even his bad eye stings under his medical patch.

I'm losing him .

And that was the thing, even though he wasn't losing anything, he was losing, maybe not Nirei, because he would still see him day after day, but he felt like he was losing him. Suo had no right to have those feelings, Nirei didn't belong to him, Nirei wasn't an object he could possess, but he couldn't help but feel like something was being taken away from him.

Nire-kun.

He feels his throat begging him to scream, but he won't.

Nire-kun…

His knuckles are begging him to break something, but he won't.

My Nire-kun

He wasn't planning on shedding tears, but it seems that's the only thing he'll do.

Ah.

How I would love to call him mine.

They won't take anything else from him.

Suo is crazy, there is no other way to explain it, because any sane person would suffer from the pain that consumes him and implore the heavens that he had never fallen in love.

Because just as love is beautiful, it is also ugly, people suffer every day because of love, love can change people.

 Love, if not treated carefully, can become a poison that rots people from the inside. Love changes people, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Because, just as love can be that beautiful rose with a sweet fragrance, if you are not careful, it becomes a hell of thorns that make your hand bleed in streams from having held it wrong. And it is completely inevitable to wish that this love that is now nothing but your abyss, would end completely, to wish that this had never happened, to long for a life where this pain does not exist.

But Suo was a madman who preferred to sink into the abyss. Because despite feeling so bad to the point of wanting to die, he never thought about those words.

Because he can't give up what he's not willing to lose.

So tonight, (and the ones to come) Suo will hide from the world, in the safety of his home where no one else can see him, his pain will be his secret, and he will let himself be consumed completely until the flames of his pain are just ashes ready to fade away until there is no trace left. No one else can know, no one else will know.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts .

But I miss you.

“Good morning! Suo-san!”

“Good morning, Nire-kun.”

Nirei smiled at him, being as always, the first person to greet him.

"All good?"

“uh?”

“You know, your family emergency.” Suo lowered his eyebrows and softened his voice. “I was really worried yesterday, is everything okay?”

Call him a son of a bitch, it's nothing he doesn't know.

His adorable, round eyes opened wide, quickly replaced by an expression of guilt and sorrow.

“A-Ah! Y-Yes! It’s all right now! I’m really sorry for worrying you, Suo-san!”

Nirei cringed, looking away until he gathered his courage and saw the gentle gaze Suo always had on him.

“I promise I won’t miss our training sessions again! Not for anything in the world.”

Suo never let his smile falter for even a second.

“Okay, I trust you to keep your word. But remember, if it’s an emergency, I won’t get angry. So don’t torment yourself so much, okay?”

His shoulders that were stiff were quickly relaxed, although his curved eyebrows still showed a certain level of guilt, Nirei still smiled very gratefully at him.

“Thank you, Suo-san”

He didn't even think about it, his hand melted into those blonde locks, silky, soft, with a certain level of volume, maybe it was due to the shampoo, whatever it was, Suo was enjoying every second of it.

If Sakura-kun can do it, then so can I.

Selfish and daring. Fox smile.

Does it bother you?

It was his little prize, the one that had pathetically filled Suo's heart with joy. It wasn't that the pain from last night had gone away, he knew he would never be free of it, not as long as he loved Nirei. But that's the thing, Suo doesn't care.

Suo pulled his hand away, not wanting to overwhelm the smaller boy either.

Nirei's head followed the trail of his hand.

Beats, beats.

Suo stopped his hand a slight distance away from Nirei. Nirei closed in on him again.

Suo swallowed.

Hesitating for a second, Suo stroked his hair again. Nirei closed his eyes and relaxed.

Gentle beats, warm beats, heartbeats that filled his chest with bubbles.

He let his hand melt again into the warmth of his hair, his caresses ending near his ear, almost completely cradling his cheek, Nirei curled up in his hand with a dazed look and rosy cheeks.

Strong heartbeats, fast heartbeats.

A short circuit.

It took him a second to realize what he was doing, breaking away with a loud crash as he collided with the seat behind him.

“I-I-I-I’M SO S-SORRY!!”

His face was completely flushed, his forehead, his ears, even his neck, all bathed in red.

“E-E-EE-EH, I-I C-COULDN’T SLEEP WELL LAST NIGHT! I-I RELAXED TOO MUCH”

He looked a lot like Sakura right now.

“I’M SO SORRY!! I’M GOING TO THE BATHROOM!”

And Nirei fled the room, leaving Suo frozen in place. He hadn't moved a single muscle since Nirei had walked away.

“… Are you okay, Suo-chan?”

Kiryu spoke so that the deathly silence of the moment would be cut.

“Earth to Suo-chan? Do you hear me?” He waved his hand in front of his friend’s face.

It only took a few more seconds for Suo to smile at Kiryu, lowering his hand behind his back.

“What do you mean? I’m perfect, Kiryu-kun!”

Kiryu was exhausted by that genuine smile. Thank goodness the whole thing had only been seen by himself and Tsugeura, though all eyes had turned to them when Nirei started screaming.

“I see. Thank goodness.” He smiled, wanting to let Suo deal with his feelings on his own.

“Yes!” Suo nodded, turned around and slammed his head against the door on the wall. The loud bang scared all of his classmates, Kiryu almost dropped his cell phone, Tsugeura luckily caught it.

“S-Suo-chan?! What happened?!” He quickly approached, but more than worried, Kiryu was scared.

Suo turned his back to everyone, making sure no one saw even a single inch of his face, because if anyone saw him in his current state, they would see the mess he was. His cheeks were flushed, even more so than Nirei's had been a few moments ago. His good eye was wide open, shining brightly in a caramel red, as if cherries and strawberries had melted into this young man's pupils. Lips properly closed in a straight line.

His heart wasn't any better, he was almost certain that if Kiryu came a little closer, he would be able to hear its accelerated rhythm. But the worst of all was his head, his brain had definitely short-circuited, he was having a hard time thinking, no, he was actually thinking more than usual. The same image played in his head over and over again, the tenderness with which Nirei showed his relaxation, the vulnerability he showed Suo, that adorable expression, the way he sought his touch.

It was too much.

Suo wanted more.

Suo stepped away from the wall and turned around.

“Ahaha! It’s nothing, there was just a bug on my head, but thank goodness it’s dead now!” Suo was all smiles, even as his forehead glowed red. Only a small red remained on his cheeks.

“Oh, it seems the bug bled a little, I’ll go get some towels to wipe the blood off. I won’t be long!” Suo said goodbye, passing by a terrified and defensive Sakura who had entered seconds before Suo’s strange attack.

“… W-What happened?” Sakura stuttered when he was finally gone.

Kiryuu was tired.

Even in his brain-melted state, Suo was able to choose the most sensible and correct decision.

The infirmary was empty, not even the nurse was there, it was a stroke of luck that he planned to take full advantage of.

He finished placing the small band-aid on his forehead; once the adrenaline from that blow to his heart went down, the pain in his forehead made an appearance, so to avoid a future scar, Suo did all the necessary medical procedures.

However, his heart was still beating, no longer as wildly as before, but still agitated.

He liked these kinds of beats.

Touching his chest, he closed his eyes and let himself be carried away by the melody of his heart.

How was it possible that this same heart, which had been mercilessly pierced last night, was now beating strongly and gently, as if it had never been hurt.

I can't help it.

A single action, no matter how small, brought light to his entire body. But what a cruel feeling, keeping him on edge. And it was strange, like the agonizing pain of last night, it's a mere distant memory now, how could so little be enough?

I don't care, I'd rather get hurt again, if that means I can have you for one more minute .

And that's what it was, even though this love destroyed him inside, even though he feels the sting of thousands of glass panes eating away at his insides, he can't, and he doesn't want to, give up these feelings.

Because in the end it is worth it. After all…

I love the version of me that's in love with you .

Suo thinks he understands Tsubaki a bit more. Who would have thought? Maybe he could get some advice from them.

He looked out the window, feeling the refreshing breeze of the day.

I want to see you.

A few weeks had passed since the incident.   Weeks in which nothing new had happened, it was as if everything had returned to the status quo. Suo liked it, but it confused him quite a bit.

Everything was so normal, so much so that sometimes he wondered if he had imagined what he saw that day.

In fact, the past few weeks had been pretty enjoyable, Nirei, as promised, hadn't missed their training sessions again; Sakura, Nirei and Suo had patrolled and hung out together, Nirei still gave Sakura those adoring glances, but Suo had already accepted that, it didn't stop him from feeling petty jealousy, but then again, Suo would take what he could get.

And in fact he received more.

After the initial awkwardness, Nirei became more accessible in terms of physical contact. Suo was now allowed to pat Nirei on the head, even more than once a day. They even went so far as to bump each other's shoulders once they walked down the hall together.

To say that Suo was happy was an understatement.

However, it wasn’t enough. The beast inside Suo fought for more. Sometimes he would actively seek to touch Nirei’s fingers in small “accidents,” and sometimes he would caress Nirei’s back at random times that didn’t require comforting or caring. Nirei never refused the touch, so Suo continued.

Suo wondered how long he would be allowed to continue this happiness.

Until the day Nire-kun is Sakura's .

A thought crossed his mind, he didn't want to think about it, so he shook his head and concentrated on his walk.

Classes had ended, and he was walking alongside Sakura and Nirei, who was telling them about the upcoming captains' meeting. Suo had tuned out the conversation, until at the end of the street, he noticed the intimate conversation his two friends had been having for who knows how long. It wouldn't have resonated with Suo as much if it weren't for the bright red cheeks on both of their faces, but Sakura looked more embarrassed than Nirei.

“Alright now! I’m leaving!!” Sakura growled at Nirei, still red-faced.

“B-But, Sakura-san!” Nirei tried to follow him, but Sakura threw his hand in his face.

“I’ll listen to what you have to say later.” Sakura looked at Suo, puffing out his cheeks.

"See you tomorrow."

Suo tilted his head in confusion. “Goodbye?”

Sakura turned and ran away, looking eager to get out of there.

“Hey, Nire-kun, what were you talking about?”

However, the strong gaze on Nirei, reflecting Sakura's back in those beautiful eyes, made Suo's stomach turn.

“…Nir-”

“Suo-san,” he turned to look at him.

“There’s something I need to talk to you about, would you give me a little of your time?”

Suo clenched his fists, his smile not faltering.

"Of course"

It wasn't that he was cocky, it was just that Suo was aware of his incredible ability to read people. He could easily understand what others were thinking, comprehend actions and situations that people at a glance couldn't. He felt proud of his ability.

At least until now.

He was regretting having followed Nirei to his training place by the stream, he didn't want this to be the place where Nirei would tell him everything he didn't want to hear.

It was just a matter of time, Nirei, who had relied heavily on Suo for any inconvenience, would obviously ask him for romantic advice.

He was already expecting it, but he prayed that it would never happen.

“Forgive me for taking up your time so suddenly, Suo-san.”

So cute, so honest, so Nirei.

“If it's up to you, whenever you want”

Nirei shook his head, he looked so tense and nervous.

Don't worry, I won't judge your feelings.

“I promise it won’t be long! I-I just need a second.” His breathing had become irregular.

Are you good?

“Hey” Suo took Nirei by the shoulders.

"Look at me, Nire-kun"

Nirei obeyed, his chest rising and falling very noticeably, sweat running down his face, his hands shaking and he looked like he wanted to cry.

Suo just wanted to hug him.

“Calm down, breathe with me”

He puffed out his chest, inhaling and exhaling, and his little student imitated him without any problems. It only took a few slow breaths for Nirei to finally calm down enough for him to breathe normally again.

“That’s very good.” Patting his head to congratulate him.

“You did well”

He offered him his smile, nothing made him happier than seeing Nirei in the best possible condition. If it were up to Suo, he would hide Nirei from the rest of the world, shower him with gifts and protect him from any harm.

“Nire-kun, if it’s too difficult to say, you don’t have to. If you’re not ready yet, that’s fine too, I’ll wait for you.”

If he could, he would take all of Nirei's anxiety away and put it on himself, Suo is strong, he can bear the pain of both. Nirei just has to smile.

“Suo-san.” His eyes were half-closed, perhaps from exhaustion, and looked glassy.

“You are so kind.” He tilted his head to the side.

“Really? Sakura-kun doesn't think the same.” He still remembers when they were in battle with Shishitoren, Sakura didn't bother to point out his cynical behavior, he wasn't going to deny it, he played with that boy that day, but he didn't care either, after all it was true.

He shook his head.

“No, you are kind. Very kind.”

Nirei reached out his hand, timidly taking Suo's hand.

Heartbeats.

"Nire-kun…?"

“You know what people say whenever you ask, ‘What is Suo Hayato like?”

“Huh.” Trying not to focus on their clasped hands, Suo thought it over, there was only one answer.

“That I am strong”

“Right,” he smiled.

The feeling of Nirei's fingers caressing his made him dizzy.

“…But I know you are not just that”

Feeling brave, Suo touched the tip of his index finger with Nirei's.

“You are more than just your strength. You are thoughtful, always noticing details that others can’t.”

Suo nodded.

“You are honest, you never sugarcoat your words when they are necessary”

Nirei laughed.

“You’re a troublemaker too! Always bothering others or making fun of them. Ah! I don’t mean this in a bad way, I know you don’t mean to harass or bully, you just make fun of your friends because you like their reactions and how easy it is to get them to lose their temper.”

Have you been watching me that closely ?

He puffed out his cheeks as he looked up, his frown adorable.

“I know this well because you like to bother me too”

“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sorry, he loved teasing Nirei, his reactions were always the best, so cute that he couldn’t contain himself.

"Liar"

“Didn’t you say I was honest?”

“Oh, come on!”

Suo laughed, a soft and true laugh.

“You are the smartest person I know”

“You are also very smart”

“It's not the same intelligence, if mine is memorization and obtaining data, yours is wit and persuasion. Always one step ahead of others.”

Their eyes met. They don't know when their hands ended up intertwined.

“I never know what goes on inside your head”

“Not much really”

"Suspicious"

They both smiled.

“You are much more than just your strength, Suo-san.”

Beats, beats.

“You have been nothing but kind to me, sometimes I fear I am abusing your kindness”

“Don’t worry, you can depend on me more”

“So, may I abuse your kindness once more?”

Beating, heavy, cold, painful.

No, please. It's okay.

“Suo-san, I know this is a very selfish request on my part, but could you please listen to what I have to say?”

No. Yes.

Thorny roots were growing back around his heart.

“The truth is… I’ve been hiding something for a long time-“

Don't say it . I'm listening.

“Though I think you might have noticed by now, so I appreciate you being so patient with me,” Nirei admitted embarrassedly.

Suo wanted to stop listening.

No

No

No

No

NO

“The truth is, for some time now, I’ve been in love with-“

“NO!!”

The scream startled Nirei, who tried to pull his hand away from Suo's, but it was impossible, Suo's grip only grew firmer. He lowered his head, unable to bear to look into Nirei's eyes.

“U-huh…? S-Suo-san?”

“Don’t say it, please don’t say it.” He felt his throat closing up, his normally calm voice sounding torn with each word.

“I beg you, don’t say it”

The look of agony on Suo's face made Nirei's heart sink, his eyes filling with tears at his equally pained gaze.

“…After all, it’s unpleasant, isn’t it?”

He quickly raised his head, meeting those sweet eyes and releasing the biggest tears, Suo had never seen such a sad smile.

“No! It’s not that, it’s just that-“ He was struggling to breathe, his throat struggling to keep calm.

“I really want to support you, Nire-kun. I just want you to be happy, but I can’t, I can’t do it…”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Suo-san.” The hiccup in his voice broke Suo’s already broken heart.

“Don’t apologize, I’m the selfish one here.” He held onto his small hand.

“N-No, I’m the one who imposed his feelings on you.”

He never wanted to hear his beloved's cry. He was already regretting being honest, why couldn't he act like always? Why couldn't he just keep quiet and listen to him? Why did he have to be honest? Suo hated himself right now, he never wanted to be the reason Nirei cried.

“Nire-kun…”

“F-Forgive me… Forgive me for falling in love with you”

And Suo's heartbeat stopped everything.

"What…?"

“I’m really, really sorry. But I couldn’t help it. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but it’s impossible.” Tears and more tears ran down his soft cheeks, a noisy but honest waterfall.

“After getting to know you better, how could I not fall in love with Suo-san?”

Nirei tried to dry his tears with his other hand, he hated looking so pathetic in front of the boy he likes. But he had nothing left to lose.

“It’s okay if you don’t love me back, just don’t ask me to stop loving you. Please, Su-”

As gentle and soft as the touch of a feather, the sudden sensation on his lips stopped his prayers.

“Huh?” High-pitched voice, palpable surprise. Automatically his cheeks colored intensely, he touched his own lips.

"Me...?"

Nirei looked up, seeing his reflection in that beautiful crimson eye.

“Am I… the one you want?”

Nirei opened his mouth, confused beyond belief.

“Who else would I be referring to…?”

Suddenly, a pair of arms surrounded him without warning. Both of them lost their balance and fell onto the grass.

Nirei waited for the feeling of pain in his head, which never came, Suo had put his hand there, taking Nirei's pain, protecting him.

"¿S-Suo-san…?"

"I love you"

Suo pulled away, just long enough to share glances again.

"I love you, Nire-kun"

A tear fell on Nirei's cheek.

Beats, heartbeats.

Fast heartbeats, kind heartbeats, warm and sincere heartbeats. They shared the same heartbeats, the same warmth, the same feelings.

"¿M-Me…?"

“Only you.” He guided his hand until it was placed over his heart, Nirei felt the same beats, his face lit up.

“It can’t be anyone else but you”

New tears overflowed.

“B-But, you begged me not to say it.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were referring to me.”

“W-What the hell does that mean?” I smile dryly, continuing to release all the tears that Suo wouldn’t let go.

“I thought the one you wanted was Sakura-kun.”

“What?!” Nirei frowned, wrapping his arms around Suo’s neck. He headbutted him.

“Gah. That hurts, Nire-kun”

“Dummy! Suo-san you are a dummy!”

“Didn’t you say I was smart?”

“I'll take it back! You’re not smart! You’re dumb! The dumbest of all!!”

He clung to him.

“…Sakura-san is my precious friend, I want to be by his side and watch him grow”

But...?

“But, Suo-san is the person I love, I want to grow up by your side and spend the rest of my life with you, together.”

Thank you, thank you very much.

Suo clung to the smaller body, hiding his blushing face in his lover's shoulder.

Beat for beat, both heartbeats at the same time.

“It’s not a dream, is it? I can have Nire-kun for myself, right? Can I have all of you? Your smiles? Your looks? Your love?”

Sweet laughter filled his ears. As sweet as honey, the most beautiful laughter of all.

“They have always been yours, Suo-san.”

Suo was the first to separate, holding Nirei, the most precious thing in his life.

Finally.

He could finally see himself reflected in those chocolate-colored eyes.

No, it had always been there, he was just too blind to notice. Well, he’s a one-eyed guy, give him some credit.

"Nire-kun"

“Suo-san”

Intertwined hands, united breaths.

Under the glow of the sunset, two lovers shared heartbeats, feelings, and sweet kisses.

Lots and lots of kisses.

“Suo-san”

“Hmm?”

Nirei tried to move, but he was trapped in the cage called Suo Hayato. His boyfriend's arms were tightly wrapped around his waist, his face resting on his shoulder, rubbing his nose along his back, neck, and shoulders. He seemed to be soaking in Nirei's scent.

It didn't bother him, if anything it filled him with joy, he had longed to be in Suo's arms for a long time.

Although he was still surprised that they had been like this for an hour. The moment they reached Nirei's room, Suo clung to him and didn't let go for a single second. He didn't know that Suo had been as hungry for him as Nirei was for Suo.

That thought alone made him blush.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Whatever you want.” He caressed Nirei’s belly, taking his time to feel his warmth.

“Why did you think Sakura-san was the one I liked?”

Suo pulled away slightly, moving Nirei to his side, snuggling him into his chest, giving him access to his face to shower with soft kisses.

Nirei closed one eye and blushed.

“…The way you looked at him”

“What do you mean?” He touched Suo’s cheek, who took his hand and snuggled into it.

“Your eyes always sparkled when you saw him. You never took your eyes off him.”

The long legs enclosed Nirei. The good thing was that they were curled up against Nirei's bed, but the floor was a little uncomfortable, although neither of them cared, Suo especially did not want to separate from his beloved for even a second.

The boy has been starving for a long time, it should come as no surprise that he is feasting on loving physical contact with his Nirei.

“Well, yes, but he is our friend. Did you expect me not to view him with the respect and admiration that Sakura-san deserves?” He laughed.

Suo growled against his hand.

“Ah, I understand now”

"What thing?"

“You were jealous”

Suo intertwined his hand with Nirei's, kissing the back of his hand.

“Yes, quite a lot, all the time. I longed to have that look for myself, just for myself.”

Suo's brutal honesty struck a chord with Nirei's heart, and his heartbeat was honestly accelerated. He snuggled his cheek against Suo's chest and looked up, his cheeks rosy and his eyes sparkling.

“Suo-san”

The desire that he had previously kept at bay was no longer subject to his rationality, so how was he going to restrain himself from kissing that beautiful face after that adorable look calling his name?

Both lips cling to each other, sharing warmth that melted into the deep longing that was finally released. After so long, the intimate and private touch was all that made him lose himself, but he didn't care, as long as he lost himself in Nirei, everything was fine.

They soon ran out of air, breaking away only to catch a breath of relief and then melting back into each other. Nirei wrapped his arms around his neck, Suo hugged Nirei's waist, sticking close to his body, not leaving even a single centimeter of distance.

At first, both were clumsy and slow, but Suo quickly took the lead, leading both (through practice) to learn how to accommodate each other's pace.

A long kiss, a small kiss, catch your breath, kiss again.

Who knows how long they stayed like that, at least an hour of pure kisses.

Only when they were beginning to lose themselves in each other's boundaries did Nirei call for a break, which Suo took the opportunity to curl up in Nirei's lap, his head against Nirei’s stomach, hugging his waist.

“…Nire-kun”

"Yeah?"

Suo almost lost himself in the gentle caresses on his hair, being pampered by Nirei was becoming an addiction at this point.

But Suo needed to stay sane, he had to know or he wouldn't be able to sleep well at night.

“Do you remember the day of the family emergency?”

Suo felt the tension in his boyfriend's body.

“…Where did you go with Sakura-kun?”

“E-eh?! How do-?!”

“I’m sorry, I actually saw you leaving school together that day.”

“O-Oh…”

Suo turned his head, getting a better look at Nirei.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lie to you, I know it was wrong”

“It’s okay, I’m not upset, I just want to know.”

Nirei kissed Suo's forehead, looking embarrassed.

“…That day, was the day I decided to fight for you Suo-san”

“For me…?”

He nodded.

“Yes, the truth is that at first I was ready to hide my feelings for you. Because I honestly didn’t think that someone as cool as you would notice me.”

He frowned, stretched out his hand and gently tapped his beloved's forehead with his fingers.

“Ouch”

“Nire-kun…”

“I-I know, I know, silly of me” He laughed, ashamed of his low self-esteem.

“But well, in the end I couldn't give up on loving you, so just like you taught me, I chose not to give up.”

“Did you need Sakura for that?”

“No, it’s just that…” He looked away. “Umh, well, basically… I declared war on Sakura-san?”

Suo's blank stare made Nirei shy.

“Don’t look at me like that”

"Nire-kun"

“Let me explain”

“What made you think Sakura-kun would have feelings for me?”

“I mean… Who wouldn’t fall in love with you?”

Suo placed his hand behind his neck, pulled him closer and kissed him again, a soft, gentle, chaste kiss.

“I’m warning you Nire-kun. If you say such adorable things, I’ll kiss you.”

“T-That’s no threat to me.” He wanted to kiss those soft, puffy, blushing cheeks. So he did.

He couldn't be happier, now he could kiss his beloved until he was tired, feed the hungry beast inside him until he was satisfied.

“Did you ever think that Sakura-san would like you?”

“You said it, I’m good at reading people”

“Not enough to read me”

“When it comes to you, I can’t think straight.” Suo kissed his hand.

How he loves to make him blush.

“But yes, Sakura-kun has never had that kind of feelings for me, nor I for him.”

“Yes, I realized that day”

“And besides…”

Suo stayed quiet, realizing something about Sakura and that guy.

“What?”

“Nevermind”

Suo didn’t care for now.

“Uh.. “ Nirei looked at him with those big adorable eyes.

Suo's laughter filled Nirei’s heart with joy.

“I can only imagine Sakura-kun’s face when you declared war on him in a battle he wasn’t fighting!”

“I know! I know! He scolded me for having the wrong idea!” Memories of that day flashed through his mind.

“Sakura-san is amazing, even though I was wrong, he said he would support me.”

He stroked Suo's cherry brown hair.

“He gave me courage, as he always does. In fact, he motivated me to confess today! He was so sure that you would accept me, that it filled me with confidence.”

“Sakura-kun is the walking love radar after all”

Nirei kissed Suo’s nose.

“And he was right”

“If I’m honest, I’m sure Sakura-kun was aware of our feelings, and was tired of enduring our mutual longing.”

Nirei burst out laughing.

“Tomorrow we will tell him the big news”

Suo got up from his lap, sitting in front of him, pressing their foreheads together.

“That’s enough rest, Nire-kun.”

The blush on his cheeks spread to his ears.

“You don’t want to?”

“...Stop bothering me”

Suo carefully laid Nirei down on his bed, caressing his cheek with his fingers, parting his lower lip with his thumb.

“I can’t, I love to tease my cute Nire-kun”

Nirei's hands on the back of his neck never failed to feel so good.

"Yours"

"Mine"

My Nire-kun

Finally, mine.