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So you've elected a Dark Lord. Or you're living in a community that's elected a Dark Lord for you. You may be wondering "What comes next?"
Here's what you can expect and some etiquette for moving forward.
1. Dark Lords are known to be volatile and prone to vengeance. It's important to remember this when he demonizes a portion of the population following a perceived offense. Ask yourself "Is there a reason to fear/hate/harm this person or do I only feel this way because an angry pseudo-politician screamed about it for a hour?" If you're the population being demonized, make sure you have a supportive community around you. Dark Lords thrive on making people feel isolated and you are not alone.
2. Dark Lords love to over promise and under deliver. Has he promised you all the kingdoms of the world if you'll just follow him? Trust him? Let him protect you? Let him restore your pride and ill-spent youth? Lower your expectations. Dark Lords don't actually care about you- they want power and see you as tools to get it. He will crush you when he is done crushing those he said were your enemies. And all the tax cuts in the world will not ease your torment.
3. Dark Lords have egos as fragile as their tiny hands. Whether you are serving him with gladness or seeking to usurp him, greet your Dark Lord respectfully with whatever title suits his delusions. This will lull the Dark Lord into sort of a self-satisfied benevolence and you may be able to get some actual work done around him. Or be able to sabotage his machinations without him noticing. You can also distract a Dark Lord with his favorite TV shows- especially those that praise his prowess and virility. Take advantage of this distraction to free prisoners from the dungeon. You can even replace them with dollies that scream "Oh no! Noooo! It hurts! Help me! Aaaauuuugh!" every few minutes to keep him entertained. Chances are he's already forgotten them, though, and won't notice they're gone.
4. Dark Lords are dark. It's part of the job description. They do dark deeds. Learn to recognize them and keep his actions in perspective. Don't be afraid to call evil, well... evil. Whether a supporter or a civil servant on the other side if the aisle. Evil wins when we are afraid to call it out. So call it out. Politely and grovelingly if you're trying to keep your proximity to power. Like Joan of Arc on a white horse if you don't give a fig what anyone thinks and have nothing left to lose.
5. Dark Lords always have a few die hard true believers surrounding them. It might be your Uncle Bob or some brash young upstart from humble beginnings looking to make a name for himself in the big city. It might be a mean girl from Colorado. They will remember everything the Dark Lord says and cherish it like the notes of an opera. They will hold it more sacred than he does himself. And they will fight you, insult you, and threaten you. Let them alone. They like being mean and will eventually do something so mean that they'll get disposed of. Or they'll star in an insurrection and get themselves hauled off to the pokey. Either way, they're gone.
Finally, have fun with it. Dark Lords rise, but Dark Lords also fall. You may enjoy assisting a despot to the throne or you may relish being the catalyst that was prophesied of old, destined to raze his empire. Whether rallying around the bright banners of coronation or dancing in the glorious ashes of his defeat, it's your dream! Live it, love it, laugh it.
