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The sun is shining through the uncurtained windows, blinding you right in the eyes. The beginning of spring pleases with gradually rising temperatures and the absence of snow. The most desperate have already changed their warm jackets for a coat or bomber jacket, and some even managed to wear a skirt in winter, we won’t point fingers, right Caitlin and Alison?
«But if Aaron had worn such a skirt, you wouldn’t have paid any attention to us. By the way, do you want one? I can offer it to him…»
And the knowledge that Aaron really has such an item of clothing doesn’t make the situation any better.
Kevin curses the day he found out about this. His imagination was doing well without it.
Three more weeks and the schoolchildren will finally get a well-deserved week off. He already imagines how he will sleep longer than usual and listen to his friends’ stories about their boyfriends, watch with Alison whatever she wants. Kevin hates “Gossip Girl”, but bribing with masks works every time. Sleepovers with her have been a tradition since sixth grade. They became close then, despite the fact that they had been in the same class for a year. Surely, "clueless" and hatred for the physics teacher led them to friendship.
And he will never admit that it is cool to gossip with her. (Sports teams still do not understand why rumors about them are spread only because of the cheerleading team.)
She has a cool house, a cozy atmosphere and lots of style advice. Kevin will never forget how she threw out every item of his closet and dragged him to stores for six months because «you look stupid», she said.
And she is ready to listen to him cry all day. This is the third month that Aaron has ignored him.
His hand hurts from long notes, and the voice of the art teacher sounds like annoying white noise. Her gaze constantly clings to the back of the head of Minyard, who is sitting in the next row. The one who is «normal». Because if he stares at the «abnormal» , the «abnormal» one will feel it. And Kevin definitely doesn't want to feel a compass in his liver.
«I like Alison's hair. And Jeremy's color. It's a cool color.»
Kevin mutters casually, as if thinking out loud. Nathaniel, who is bored next to him, looks up from his desk and looks at his neighbor in confusion. He looks at Jeremy, who is sitting at the other end of the room, whispering something to Jean, who is covering his too-broad smile with his hand, then at the board, to check that they are not attracting attention, and back.
«You want to dye your hair blonde?»
A heavy sigh and a grumble come from Kevin:
«I just like blonde.»
Nat, who has traced the trajectory of his gaze, frowns. He blinks a couple of times and after a moment says:
«You just like blond— haired.»
«Are you telling me that?»
« At least I don’t deny it.»
Little asshole. And Kevin doesn’t deny it. He just doesn’t agree, at least in Neil’s presence. Or in anyone’s. These are minor details.
By the end of the week, Kevin glances at the blue top of his head. The top of Aaron Minyard.
And it’s not some pastel shade. It’s definitely some ultramarine that you can’t achieve at home.
You want to run and lean your head against the wall. This is even worse than the brunette’s phrase about “naturalness” and the blond’s month of daily makeup. Even with eyeliner.
The only coherent thought he can make out is: this is fucked up.
And to go ask his support group for advice.
******
Aaron opens the door of his locker to swap his chemistry textbook for biology and frowns. His gaze runs over the contents, at the last moment his attention is attracted by something extra, orange, lying on the bottom shelf. He recognizes something in it - a bouquet. Not even wanting to figure it out, to look around in search of an observer who is watching the reaction or reading the note, he throws the flowers in the trash.
Kevin does not understand anything anymore.
*****
« You said to buy roses, but that is too banal. Therefore, a bouquet. I even asked the florist what it means in the language of flowers.»
Unimpressed by the story, Jean puts aside the hook, with which he has been trying to knit a toy for three days, and squeezes the bridge of his nose, showing with his whole appearance ala "why am I giving advice that you, an imbecile, do not use."
« What did you give?»
Kevin looks uncertain, remembering what flowers he gave. It doesn't matter that he spent half an hour on this, interrogating the poor girl about the meaning of this or that flower, trying to explain his wishes, the color that the recipient likes, what the bouquet is for and why the ribbon should be tied this way.
«Lilies and some others.»
«Show me a photo». Jean rolls his eyes at this answer and takes the already extended phone, examining the image more closely and lightly elbowing Nathaniel in the side, who is more interested in texting with Andrew than in what is happening around him. He almost drops the phone on his face,
asks again:
«What flowers?»
Jean hands over the phone, interrupting Day's tirade about "not being interested in my problems" with a quick answer:
«Lilies and gerberas.»
The redhead looks at the screen, then frowns and looks at Kevin, as if he is seeing him for the first time, and his eyebrows creep higher and higher to the hairline. Until he simply answers:
«An allergy sufferer’s dream.»
And return to his phone.
While their friend goes through 10 stages of self-hatred, with hair pulling out of his head and rolling on the floor, Jean decides to answer Jeremy's messages, but before that he turns his head:
« I would like to see Aaron beat the shit out of him with a bouquet.»
Nat looks up, then turns his gaze to Kevin, who is already giving himself his 2nd lecture and answers:
«It would be more interesting if Andrew shoved a bouquet down his throat.»
*****
"If I had a choice, I wouldn't talk to you either," Andrew told him after an unsuccessful attempt to find out about Aaron.
Day thinks about this when he catches a "normal" minyard near the chemistry class, holds his elbow, just in case.
« We need to talk.»
«You think? It seems to me that you do this very well with others.»
«What's the problem with talking to me normally?»
« I want to be a pest. Or whatever you called me.»
Aaron sounds like he's wasting all the time in the world on this conversation, but he obediently stays where he is, wanting to know what happens next.
The blonde is looking at everything but Kevin. He's examining his nails and looking around the hallway, and the brunette wants nothing more at the moment than to see his eyes. Andrew's eyes are incomparable, despite their relationship. Kevin might not recognize them from afar in the same clothes, but the differences will forever remain in his memory, those small specks in the iris, the right eye with a little more green, the left with a slightly lighter brown.
«Listen, if you're talking about that incident with Ellie...»
His explanation is interrupted by:
«See? You're talking about your friends again.»
And the brunette may doubt it, but he sounds disappointed as he passes by, deliberately brushing his shoulder.
No, it's not temporary, as others said. Their characters are really too much for each other.
******
sexy.night
why did you leave
we really need to talk
Alison said you were jealous.
are you jealous of me for her?
we're just friends
she even has a boyfriend
Andrew reads the entire stream of messages that his twin has been receiving for ten minutes. He even had to turn off vibration, switching it completely to silent. Interesting movie.
It would be even more interesting if Day didn't waste his boyfriend's time to complain about his stupid crush. Dramatic bastard. It's good that the threat to break his nose works and he is no longer asked about his twin.
He looks at Aaron, who is mixing chocolate with cookie dough, the display once again glows from the incoming message.
It's amazing to look at your reflection. Only with blue hair. More precisely, with the washed-out blue, it's already light blue. Even pastel. Just like Renee's. He looks closer and notes to himself that his copy looks more tired. And it's not even about notes and reports. The bruises under his eyes are darker, despite the fact that before the holidays Aaron has enough grades in chemistry to last the whole of April, and good ones at that (Andrew personally saw). He doesn't think that the stories about regeneration processes and transplants have affected his condition so much. Maybe he dreams about selling a kidney for medical education?
«Why do you let me read your text messages?» Andrew asks, stealing a piece of chocolate, for which he receives a light slap on the hand.
«The Pentagon is texting me?»
«No.»
«Then do whatever you want.» The twin waves his hand, continuing to lay out the dough on the parchment. The display lights up again and Andrew has to turn the screen over to the surface of the table. It would be nice to break Kevin's fingers when they meet. Although then this bastard will hang around under their house, or follow them around at school.
«He asked why you don't talk to him.» Considering the spam, he decides to clarify, « me.»
« I hope you told him to fuck off.»
Andrew waits for the cookies to be in the oven and answers after his brother returns.
« Almost. Told him to talk to you». He takes the remaining chocolate again and, not hearing anything in response, again considering the spam, comes to the conclusion, « Looks like he can’t do anything except exy.»
«3—1 in Wesninski’s favor. » The words were spoken already on the way out of the kitchen. «The timer is for 25 minutes.»
Andrew looks from the empty doorway to the phone, which remains lying in the same place.
****
He finds Aaron again, sitting on the grass near a small zoo. It’s always nice here. And you can even imagine that you come here with someone else, when you’re sitting in the company of deer, rabbits, and chickens.
« If you drink this instead of a normal meal, you’ll die before graduation.»
Minyard looks at him for just a second and then turns his attention back to the book.
«Sounds like a plan.»
Kevin mumbles nothing but something about unbearable and the importance of proper nutrition. « Feed you with a spoon?»
« It's your problem that out of all the nano-keto diets you chose a walking warehouse of energy drinks as your friend.»
The bored voice makes Day turn to the guy, but irritation oozes from his amber eyes.
«Are you still mad about Alison?»
«Fuck off, Kev.»
The brunette will be left sitting alone, twisting the abandoned can of energy drink in his hands, half-empty.
****
Fate brings them together before summer vacation.
Day never thought he would come here ever, not after breaking his arm in the 8th grade. But here he is
turns the corner, behind which is the familiar lake. Even the little ducks are swimming. Which Aaron Minyard feeds. Yeah, fuck. This is what nostalgia leads to.
He thinks about how best to approach so as not to scare his friend, but still notices the twitching of his shoulders when he says hello. Or it's a reaction to his voice.
The blond didn't even turn around to look at him, continuing to feed the ducklings. They're little. What is it like to live in a place where so many declarations of love and kisses happened?
The couple who started this tradition are probably already babysitting great-grandchildren. If they are even together. And alive.
Kevin remembers how they all lit a fire, burnt marshmallows and cherry beer. Games of truth or dare. The first drunken kiss with Aaron, lips with the taste of chemo and brownie, rapid breathing and a heart jumping out of the chest. Jean's confession about his love for Jeremy.
Nate and Andrew's long looks.
The silence drags on. Uncomfortable.
«Sorry» He decides to try. It sounds more like a question and his friend probably noticed.
«For what?»
From all his previous attempts, he remembered that he shouldn't talk. He won't step on the same rake until Aaron tells him to leave, but gives him the opportunity to speak out - he will use it wisely.
«For offending you.» The silence is perceived as a sign to continue. «I really don't fully understand the reason, but I'm ready to improve if you allow it. I was hoping to spend Christmas together. But you stopped answering. Or rather, ignoring. Why did we stop talking?»
His voice sounds quiet, on the verge of tears. Raise it by a decibel - the bubble created around them will burst.
«Probably because of my grievances. You somehow distanced yourself, started communicating with Alison all the time. Became friends with Jeremy and Lila. And during our conversations, he always talked only about them. New friends are cool, but I wanted to talk to you. About you, about my day, we have a lot of common interests. And not listen to what Laila baked or Jeremy bought.
We talked not only because of school, so that I could be so easily erased from life.»
« I thought you would ignore me for a month or two as usual and everything would be fine. You usually disappear for no reason. Seven months without you is a long time.»
Kevin tears the skin near his nails, as if not noticing how the blood begins to flow. Aaron moves his hands to his lap. «Sometimes there were moments when I just wanted to write to you, but I was afraid to be intrusive.»
Minyard only snorts at such a statement and the cheerful grin disappears as quickly as it appeared.
« You are the only one who tried to talk. » The blond admits. «Usually people just... put up with the fact that I do not answer, do not make attempts. They do not even ask why. You're probably the first one who...
I thought about it for a long time. Maybe we just needed to talk and that's it. It's really cool to solve problems by talking.» Kate and I made up after two months.
She asked why we had a fight. But we didn't fight. We just stopped talking.
Kevin nods in agreement. That makes sense.
«Mom asked about you.»
He looks at Aaron's reaction again. Mom really did ask, the first month he simply answered - fine. Then, when the realization came, telling was the only solution. He doesn't even know who was more upset then. Probably mom. It feels like she understood more than he did. Or she just likes his friend, he's sweet, smart, responsible. Why did you stop bringing him to us?
«Well, say hi to her.
Congratulations on our reconciliation?»
Kevin's eyes are probably shining with relief. He doesn't realize he's crying until the sleeves of his green sweatshirt wipe his cheeks.
And nothing else comes to his mind except grabbing the guy's wrist and squeezing him in an embrace.
He missed him. It had been a really long 7 months.
******
«When did you realize you were in love?» Aaron asks, raising his head to see the guy. His boyfriend. He uses Kevin as a pillow, taking advantage of the difference in size and inhaling the scent of his body.
«At camp. 7th grade. I confessed to you even then.»
Aaron hums instead of answering.
«And you?»
«In ninth. Or eighth. I'm not sure. I dreamed about you after we had a fight. I'm sorry for the shit I did then. Well, after camp.»
Kevin's lips leave a light kiss on the top of his head, on his forehead, on his nose, on his cheeks, and before kissing him on the lips he replies:
«You've already apologized for this a bunch of times. I wasn't any better either.» It was weird to confess after a month of normal communication. Even if we studied together for a year before.
A long kiss follows. Kevin had long dreamed of doing this. Kissing softly, pulling on his lower lip, running his fingers down his neck, feeling his pulse quicken. His toes curl from the intensity with which he is answered, his tongue wandering in his mouth. Until everything suddenly stops and Aaron's hoarse voice breaks through into his consciousness as if through thick water:
«It's so weird that we haven't talked for 7 months. And then immediately start dating.»
Kevin looks into his eyes and says with all seriousness:
« It was worth the wait. Those people, the wrong time. And so many changes that we have finally something worked out»