Work Text:
2:04 am. joochan leaned against his wall, guitar in his hands. for once, he was glad he lived alone.
his fingers strummed softly over the strings, repeating chords as he struggled to decide how he wanted the song to go. he decided that writing would be the easiest way to forget about you.
an ode to himself: never fall in love again.
forget their eyes
the way they lit up when you smiled, how the corners crinkled when you laughed. joochan remembered how the stars reflected in them when he had first confessed and how the same stars fell out in teardrops when you ended it.
block out their voice
how you used to whisper sweet nothings to him as he fell asleep, how you'd greet him after a long day with an 'i love you'. he tried not to focus on how your voice cracked as you told him you didn't love him anymore.
ignore their scent
the smell of your detergent lingered on most of his clothing. you'd handed back his favourite sweater the day you broke it off. he'd left it at the edge of his bed, not yet having the energy to wash it.
and pretend that i am happy
joochan paused, taking a shaky breath. he leaned over the edge of his guitar to write the lyrics onto a notebook. after two years, he wasn't sure what to do without you.
i'll forget
about you soon
this is a reminder
to never fall in love
his grip loosened on the guitar; he pushed himself off the bed to place it in its stand before he dropped it. joochan found himself sitting on the floor shortly after, sobs threatening to escape him. he didn't know what he had done. he didn't think he had done anything.
he laid on his side, pulling his knees to his chest as he tried to stop himself from crying. did you deserve his tears?
he shut his eyes, willing himself to think about anything but you.
he realized that the first step to recovery was to fall out of love.