Chapter Text
He pushed her. He didn’t mean to... surely enough he didn’t… right? His vision felt blurry, and the constant ringing in his ears made his head feel like it was splitting open. He could barely hear his thoughts, as if there was anything coherent in his head right now anyways. It was too much. Too much. Why did he always have to ruin everything? He could’ve just sucked it up and embarrassed himself, but then he could’ve possibly ruined Mari’s future.. But he practically did that already anyways, didn’t he? He suddenly heard a muffled voice trying to speak to him.
“Sunny? Hello? Sunny?” A young, anxious, blonde boy was looking at him, trying to make sure he was alright. Basil put his hand in Sunny’s. “Listen to me, M-Mari.. She’ll… she’s gonna be fine, okay? It was just an a-accident, and now she’s getting the help she needs.” He reassures Sunny, but the raven haired boy didn’t feel as though he was entirely there. He just felt… detached. He could barely process anything.
“Sorry.” A simple apology, all he could bring himself to mumble back. He shifted his gaze to the rest of his environment, taking it in. The sterile atmosphere of the hospital gave him a feeling of dread. Anything could go wrong in hospitals. What if Sunny ruined his sister for life? What if everyone starts to… hate him?
His focus shifted onto his friends, who were anxiously huddled near Mari’s hospital room. Sunny noticed Hero glancing at him for a second, before the older boy quickly looked away, seemingly uncomfortable with just looking at him. Guilt crept in, he really had to go and fuck everything up. He should’ve never tried to join Mari in playing instruments. He should’ve found his own hobbies, done his own thing, and he should’ve had some independence, so that he wasn’t so clingy to Mari all the time. He hated that about himself. Half of what he does is only because Mari does it. He hates this dependency.
Yet, he wasn’t particularly fond of Mari right now, and he feels like shit for it. He just pushed her down the stairs, and he is STILL mad at her for constantly pressuring him. He’s such a selfish bastard… at least… that’s what he believes.
“The patient is alright, and she’s available for visiting at this time, thank you for your patience.” The nurse says, stepping out. Sunny’s friends were eager to get in to check on her, but he found himself lingering behind. He just couldn’t bring himself to go in, especially since he had this weird feeling, as though something would go terribly wrong if he went in. It was a feeling he just couldn’t brush off.
Even so, his friends urged him in, claiming Mari wished to speak with him privately. Mari still wanted to speak with him? Why? He ruined her life, probably. Maybe she wants to yell at him, scream at him for being so selfish, make him cry and break down, humiliate him. But.. When has she ever done that..? Well, only during practice, when she couldn’t control her anger. At least she never hit him. He should be grateful. So, he reluctantly steps into the room, a cold chill going down his spine as he sees her on the bed.
The room was chilly, unforgiving, and silent, besides the gentle beeps of the heart monitor. Mari sat on the side of her bed, dangling her legs off the edge. She seems so… oddly calm.
“Hello, little brother! I’m so glad to see you’re okay.” She says, smiling softly, her gentle voice a stark contrast to the atmosphere. He couldn’t believe this. Glad that he’s okay? She’s the one that got hurt. How could she just… forgive him so easily? Act like it never really mattered. He broke her. He probably destroyed her trust. Her leg is literally in a cast, and her head needed bandages. He fractured her fucking skull, and she’s worried about him?! A new wave of guilt washed over him, he didn’t deserve this kindness.
“What’s wrong..? Sunny… I’m okay. Come here.” She beckons him, and as he comes closer, she brings him into an embrace, tenderly rubbing his back to try and comfort him as he chokes back tears. He doesn’t deserve this. He knows he doesn’t. But… It feels too good to let go.
However, when he looked up at her, his ears began to ring, her voice completely drowned out by it as his vision blurred slightly. A different voice began to speak to him, one that didn’t feel as comforting. Intrusive thoughts..? He didn’t know.
“Kill her.” It urged. Though, he knew he didn’t want to. Even so, her hug started feeling… cold. Less comfortable. He quickly let go, and when he looked at her again, she looked angry. It was just like when she would yell at him for not trying hard enough on the violin.
“Kill. Her.” The voice seemed to grow more forceful. Why would Sunny ever succumb to this? He loved his sister… surely he did.
“What are you waiting for? She’s vulnerable. If you let her go now, she’ll just make you go back to the violin. She’ll yell at you. She’ll make you feel like the piece of shit you are. Do you really want that? Kill her already.” It began to sound a little more aggressive, the pressure starting to get to him.
“Are you slow or what? She doesn’t care about you. Why would she? She just used you as a ticket to getting a better future than you. Since you took that chance from her, she’ll only make you work harder so that she can make it better for herself. People like her don’t deserve to live.”
Sunny hated that he found himself being convinced by this voice. It did feel like that at times. She would always yell at him, saying stuff about how he’s ruining this chance for her. Her only. Maybe… she really doesn’t care.
“When was the last time Mari has ever done anything for you? When you were 10 and you fell down? Pathetic. And yet, she expects everything from you, when you’re still just a kid. Why? Simple; She. Doesn’t. Care. So, kill her.”
Gosh, he wishes this voice would just shut up already. The memories began flooding back, everything seemed to line up with what this voice was saying. His heart begins to pound in his chest, his breathing getting heavier.
“And still, she’s adored by all your friends, her talents and effort always recognized, while yours are tossed to the side. She’s the talented one, after all. Older sister knows best. Don’t you see, Sunny?”
A sharp, metal object gleams in the light of the hospital. A scalpel is on a nearby table. He slowly makes his way towards it, unwillingly. He doesn’t feel like himself, his body trembling uncontrollably. He snatches the blade, walking back to Mari. “You’ll only ever be Mari’s little brother.”
Sunny snapped at last, raising the blade above his head, eliciting a yelp from Mari. She seemed terrified, and that's when Sunny began to hesitate, time slowed and all he could hear anymore was his heartbeat and that annoying ring. He didn’t even realize he was crying.
He suddenly feels someone grab him and snap him out of it, just before getting slammed into the nearby wall, the scalpel taken out of his hands.