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The wind was no more than a light breeze, hardly enough to move the cloth around Gabriel’s body by any means that weren’t his own movements. They were little as he simply watched from the balcony of his room, bent over the railing, watching as the sky turned a pinkish orange as always. He didn’t sleep, he didn’t need it according to himself, so he took the time to watch the sun go down and pursue new passions in the dimly lit room as the night took over the sky.
A creak behind him, the door opened. He knew it was V1, there was no one else left in heaven but the two of them. The angels had fled, making their new home on the moon, leaving a gap of emptiness that would only find salvation in being claimed. Gabriel kept it clean and pretty, hoping that if these were his last few days, he could do them all a favor once they returned. But for now, they were alone in a quiet space carved out for them.
“Good evening machine,” Funny how the nickname had stuck throughout it all. 31 weeks and 4 days it had been since Gabriel had been promised death by the hands of V1, and now they were living together in the ruins of heaven. Most days were spent apart as V1 ravaged what they could of the cities, but the times they stood closer together were calm. “I suppose all is well?”
Gabriel turned to face V1 as it stood still as ever without a hint of emotion. Not that it would be easy for them without a face, but clinging onto the last bit of whom he was used to being Gabriel kept his face covered as well. V1’s body language didn’t say much either but Gabriel noticed their hands full of something.
A violin, his violin. The one he practiced on every once in a while when the piano bore him. Once V1 had taken note that Gabriel had turned around they raised their arms, instrument in hand, handling it with care.
“You want me to play something?” Gabriel took the violin in hand and watched as V1 turned back around, searching. They took a stool from under a desk and sat down, waiting with as much patience as they seemed to have. Gabriel felt something inside him twist around. Like the first time they had defeated him but it was twisted to the opposite side and instead sparked different emotions that weren’t familiar. It was almost adorable the way they sat and sat like him. The only example they had that wasn’t rooted in violence anymore.
Gabriel stuttered and laughed, getting ready to play before a whirring came from V1. They couldn’t speak, but were clearly trying to tell him something. As he looked at them, they were searching around for another stool, failing, standing up, dragging their previous chair behind them, and sitting down on the bed, motioning for Gabriel to take the stool.
He obliged, sitting down in front of V1, not sure if he could start playing he simply stared at the machine, waiting for a sign. When he didn’t get one even after a minute of waiting, V1’s patience seemed to run out before his did. They reached to Gabriel’s hands, positioned them as if he were playing, and put his fingers on the strings as a way to signal which song he wanted.
“Alright alright.” Gabriel laughed, starting the song on a false note, before he took a few attempts to get it right, drawing it out as long as he could to get himself ready to play.
He knew the song, it was one frequently played by humans during the war, during battle. A cheerful song whose melody was dulled by the stories it accompanied. It had lyrics, but Gabriel couldn’t get himself to sing, mumble, or even hum a tune. Simply letting his hands guide the song and story. He assumed it was one of the few songs V1 recognized and had heard him play. He assumed comfort and a feeling of nostalgia accompanied it. He was surprised they hadn’t asked him to play it earlier if they knew he could.
Continuing his act, Gabriel played passionately despite the mistakes he made. Human creation, human art, it was all some of the best he had seen. Stories, not even angels that had lived through every sunset and sunrise could tell and write. Songs that choirs could not compare to in terms of beauty. All things that V1 seemed to like as much as he did.
He stopped, a hand around his wrist preventing him from further playing. V1 tilted their head and reached out another arm to grab the instrument. Gabriel was confused but let them, he was unlikely to ever understand their true intention. He couldn’t understand why they simply keeping him alive, they even didn’t try to fight. Gabriel always assumed it was in their nature, but their nature was beyond human or divine, so who was he to assume things about it?
They sat, simply held the instrument, and gazed at it. Gabriel had an idea of what they wanted now.
He got up, reaching out a hand to keep V1 sat as they were about to follow, and positioned himself behind the machine, sinking into the mattress of his bed. He rested both his arms on V1’s hips and held their hands for a beat, simply taking in the rare and endearing moment before he lifted their arms and positioned them as if V1 were playing. Just as they had done to him. It made him chuckle, seeing V1 not knowing what to do, like a lost young animal that had taken a different route home than usual.
Gabriel positioned their fingers, metal yet calloused, on the strings, and helped their other hand glide over them with the bow. A foul tune was produced, but Gabriel took it in like it was a choir singing to him. V1 wasn’t made for this, he knew that, but he would let them find out about it either way.
Gabriel positioned their fingers elsewhere and passed the strings with the bow again. The sound still wasn’t pleasant to hear, but soon they got less and less agitating to the ears, and more peaceful to the mind. V1 learned quickly, though it wasn’t hard for them as remembering patterns and consequences was in their system. Calculations were easy, even when it was not for fighting.
“You learn a lot faster than me, give us another 31 weeks and you’ll be able to play everything you’d want.” Gabriel smiled, despite no one benefitting from the sight of it. He let his hands fall around V1, resting his hands on their thighs as his head fell onto their back. He listened to them play the same song for hours. Nothing improved, nothing changed. It was a state of complete peace and love for hours until V1 themselves decided to stop.
“I’ve always wondered what humans could create apart from suffering, turns out after all of this, it’s you .” Gabriel broke the minute of silence with those words. “All those years I saw all the pain, all the death, anguish, and despair. It wasn’t worth the beauty that came from it but I am glad not to be left with nothing after it all.”
V1 didn’t respond, Gabriel didn’t expect them to, but simply started playing again as Gabriel continued talking. Almost singing along with his words to the melody of the song.
“All of it, gone. And here I am with the ruins of humanity, sitting in a palace meant for those whom remained holy and without sin, teaching a war machine how to play the melodies they heard as they died to it.” There was a pause and a choked-up and strained sigh. “I’ve read their poems about death, hope, losing faith in the Father.”
Gabriel clenched his fist, a part of him wishing V1 was flesh instead of metal just so he could grip onto them and make them feel the true pain he did. It was a mess and he wasn’t left to clean it up but to soil it even more. It was a realization he didn’t want to accept, but as he sat, hugging the machine from behind, the music of war in his ears, he could only take the role of a scared and young soldier. Losing faith even when it was all they had. Singing their only mental salvation.
“When the rain turns to tears
And we fail to swallow our fears
when the soil turns to flesh
wounded and fresh
when the water turns to blood
fueling our flood
When God fades His light
for Him, we no longer have the will to fight”
His voice broke, pained as V1’s hand slipped and the bow hit his arm, and pained as he realized he was no different than whoever had written the poem that had always stuck with him. He bled, wept, and held on tightly to V1. Nothing had been worth it, nothing had been worth sacrificing to get here and yet all he felt was peace if not reminded of the past.
There was peace in letting go. Peace in acceptance. Peace within both of them where it shouldn’t have been. Planted by them and only them, and only they could change it. Only V1 could take the feeling of serenity from him, only they could also gather him to no more than hate.
He sighed, sitting upright, looking at his arm and where the cut was. He had only bled once before, and the contrast of the situations made him realize, more than ever, that change was always present even when it was most unexpected. Change in his heart, change in V1, and their collective blood lust. One for order, one for chaos. Their humanity shining through as they were both a mixture of it all.
V1 didn’t flinch. Simply, slowly, and steadily placing their hand over the wound. Gabriel winced at the cold touch but didn’t move.
When the hand was lifted, the amount of blood remained the same, if not more due to the wound being open. V1 refused it, going against their nature of killing and taking.
They sat, they didn’t know for how long, but Gabriel didn’t think of moving even once. This could be the rest of the time they were both alive and well and he wouldn’t mind. He would rather die in their proximity than find rest for his soul. Wherever it went. Into darkness and nothingness. Into solace and light. He knew he would spend forever apart from V1, so as best as he could, he detached his soul from both heaven and hell and lived forever in this moment. Forever in his own composed peace, sculpted by the hands that made him bleed.