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The first chills of winter were beginning to blossom, a gentle reminder of autumn’s end. A cold draft flows into the room, greeting a cold Chu Wanning as he shivers, completely absorbed by the black armor in front of him.
Chu Wanning scrunches his nose. Before he is able to sneeze, a blanket encloses around him, followed by a pair of arms wrapped around his back.
Unsurprised, a faint smile appears on Chu Wanning’s lips before it’s quickly masked with furrowed eyebrows and a faked annoyed huff, “I’ll go to sleep soon. Don’t worry about me and rest first.”
Outside, the sky has long since turned a deep black, the stars twinkling as if laughing at the two. No response comes from the other man, the pair of arms tightening, and a face buried into the neck.
Suddenly, Chu Wanning feels a nip. He immediately jerks, faked annoyance turned into reality.
“MO WEIY-”
Before he can finish scolding, lips steal the words out of his mouth, gentle and caring, playful and teasing.
Mo Ran laughs and pulls away. “Shizun, pay attention to me, will you? You’ve been working on this set of armor for hours now. Now even Goutou is tired of playing with me.”
Chu Wanning finally tears his eyes away from his tools and turns around to look at his mischievous Mo Ran.
He sighs and reaches his hand up to caress his cheeks. “I’m sorry, this shizun has been neglectful.”
Mo Ran reaches to cover Chu Wanning’s small slender hands with his own, enveloping the other as his fingers stroke the jade, smooth surface.
“Shizun, actually I….”
Mo Ran suddenly sits down next to Chu Wanning, tightening the space between the two on the already small table.
He absently fiddles with the tools, eyes losing focus, even forgetting how to breathe temporarily.
“Chu Wanning, I…,” Mo Ran’s voice trails off.
How should he say it? Should he even ask? All day Mo Ran was restless, the simple question plaguing his mind. In fact, he had thought about this matter for a long time, only beginning to gather up a small sliver of courage to speak it into existence.
Except for the day he chose to be brave, Chu Wanning was obsessing over improving the black armor, forgetting even to eat unless Mo Ran forcibly hand-fed him. Mo Ran always had impeccable timing.
When Mo Ran is finally pulled from his thoughts, his eyes meet Chu Wanning’s. The phoenix eyes stare back, questioning.
Mo Ran is surprised that he hasn’t said anything, half expecting to be reprimanded for not spitting it out.
He stutters again, “Wanning…”
With a sigh, Chu Wanning stops Mo Ran from playing with his tools, his hands holding Mo Ran’s as his thumb comfortingly strokes him.
“Mo Ran, what’s wrong? You’ve never been this untalkative before.”
Mo Ran squeezes his eyes shut, trying to smooth out the jittering thoughts in his mind. There is no burst of confidence that Mo Ran desperately wishes to come, and the words jam in his throat, refusing to ever see the light of day.
He tries to control his breathing before forcing himself a boost of faked bravery. Stamping out the impending thoughts and imagined scenarios, he forces it out.
“Marry me.”
As soon as the words come out, Mo Ran wishes he could stuff them back into his mouth.
Before Chu Wanning can respond, Mo Ran immediately rushes in with another sentence.
“I know this disciple is undeserving. This disciple has committed many acts of treason, shed too much blood, caused pai-”
“Mo Ran.”
Mo Ran feels a slight reprimanding tap on his head, and his eyes finally open again only to avoid his shizun’s gaze.
Unexpectedly, Mo Rans feels himself getting pulled into the other’s embrace, familiar hands stroking his hair.
Mo Ran can hear the teasing laughter in his voice as his shizun replies, “Mo Ran, you silly dog. Are we not together right now? What are we doing every day, if not tending the garden together, raising Goutou together, sleeping together?”
“Shizu-”
Chu Wanning cuts him off as he pulls himself away and takes Mo Ran’s face in his hands.
“It doesn’t matter if it’s two lifetimes, or seven. I will never regret giving this life to you every time. I will always be yours, do you understand? Mo Weiyu, I love you. How many times must I say it?”
Mo Ran sharply sucks in his breath. It’s not that he doesn’t know this. Pain and happiness, however fleeting each may have been in their lifetime, Mo Ran can’t help but feel insecure at some times. It doesn’t matter if they’re kissing or bathing together, that shadow in Mo Ran’s heart always seemed to linger.
At this very moment, he feels pathetic. Actually, he had planned on asking Chu Wanning the two words on a grander scale. But every time he did, he would back out:
A picnic hidden deep in the bamboo forest, the sweet and savory aroma of food lingering around the two- that time he didn’t ask as planned.
Over the sea on a sword, bathed in the moonlight- that time he didn’t ask as planned.
On the eve of the autumn festival, watching the fireworks in their backyard- once again, that time he didn’t ask as planned.
Instead, those two awkward words were spoken inside the small, cramped cottage, stuck together at a cluttered table. It’s just that Mo Ran couldn’t wait anymore, lest he would back out in the midst of preparing, tail tucked in between his legs. The small burst of bravery would only come every once in a while, and by the time Mo Ran could open his mouth, it would leave as quickly as it came. Who knew the two words actually managed to choke out at an inconspicuous time, unmemorable place like this?
Little did Mo Ran know, Chu Wanning felt warmth blossoming in his heart. What Mo Ran thought was a small, cramped cottage, Chu Wanning felt was a cozy home, seated at his table, working on things he loved with the person he loved.
At this very moment, Chu Wanning have never felt more comfortable, more at ease; it couldn’t have been more of a perfect time to be asked.
Mo Ran flushes and pulls away, tumbling over his words.
“I know we’ve been together for a long time. This disciple could not have been more blessed to spend our remaining lives together here.”
He fiddles with the red pendant on his chest.
“It doesn’t have to be big. I am content with it being here in the back of our house. A small wedding. We don’t have to invite anyone if you want, just you and m-”
Chu Wanning cuts him off again, “Yes.”
Mo Ran stops, eyes wide. Despite knowing that each would protect the other with their lives no matter the price, he knew that Chu Wanning never liked to be conspicuous about displaying their love in public, much less at a wedding for show- even if it would only be seen by the two of them and their pet dog.
Declarations of love were few from his man’s voice and were always shown through actions hidden in the shadows instead.
Chu Wanning continues after a brief pause, “We haven’t seen Xue Meng in a while. Let’s invite him. It’s about time we meet his disciple too. Who else were you thinking of?”
Astonished, Mo Ran is silent only for a while before he answers.
“Of course, our little Peacock must be invited,” Mo Ran laughs.
“If he comes, the two blonde ones will be trailing after. I know she is busy with her school, but it would be nice if Ye Gongzi could come.”
Chu Wanning hums in agreement.
“As for…”
The unspoken name lingers between the two.
As for him…
Even if they tried, no one could be sure if the words would reach the blind wanderer. And if it did, would it be in time?
There was a silent agreement. They would try and could only hope.
Mo Ran silently counts his fingers, “7 people, maybe 8 if they all say yes. It’s very doable, no?”
Chu Wanning nods.
“There’s also another thing.” Mo Ran starts playing with the red necklace again, “I was hoping…. If we could ask for a blessing.. From Uncle and Aunt.”
Another twinge of guilt stirs inside Mo Ran, but is immediately smoothed down by Chu Wanning.
“Yes, we should go soon. Make sure to buy some tea leaves and wine the next time you go down to the market so we can greet them.”
With just that it was decided.
Excitement flows through Mo Ran’s body and a stupid grin can’t help but appear on his face. One could see a tail furiously wagging if they looked close enough.
That night they do more than just sleep in the bed.
__________________
At first, Mo Ran doesn’t want to meet Xue Meng for fear of being yelled at by his brother for not only not coming by often but having this dog take advantage of their Shizun. If it was just Chu Wanning who came to deliver the news, then it would be a more peaceful agreement, he thought.
However, Chu Wanning is adamant that it is only right for the two to come together. Besides, the graves of Xue Zhengyong and Madam Wang could only be accessed at Shisheng Peak.
When the three meet, both Chu Wanning and Mo Ran are surprised.
Xue Meng, the prideful peacock that once strutted across Sisheng Peak could barely be seen anymore. The frivolity of youth that had seeped through the darling of the heaven’s bones was lost and replaced with a certain calmness.
It was as if each time the two visited, immaturity would slowly be chipped away, carving the now High Lord of Sisheng Peak seen today. It would only take a couple more visits before the remaining air of adolescence would be completely snuffed out.
They are seated at a table outside under the pavilion, overlooking the pond. It seemed as if Xue Meng already knew what the visit was for.
Sect Leader Xue leaned back on his chair, slowly swirling the wine in his cup.
“If this is about your marriage-”
Mo Ran half lifts himself out of the chair, prepared with a speech, “Xue Me-”
“I’ll attend.”
Both Mo Ran and Chu Wanning are stunned into silence.
Xue Meng coughs uncomfortably and awkwardly rubs the edges of his clothes. At that moment, the Xue Meng who grew up with his brother and shizun briefly flashed.
“A lot of things… happened between now and the past. Time has trickled by painfully and slowly, but I’ve grown to realize what to not take for granted. But this is not an invitation for you to treat Shizun however you want, Mo Wei Yu, you dog.”
Xue Meng rushes the last few sentences in a huff, the previous layer of frost melting quickly as it came.
Unspeakable things have happened, the loss experienced together. Naturally, with the course of time, things would change and people would change. People are never constant, always moving forward with the ebb of time.
But after all, Xue Meng was still Xue Meng. Chu Wanning was still Chu Wanning. And Mo Ran was still Mo Ran.