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They were both just slightly tipsy by the time either one of them spoke.
Eddie didn’t know what had happened in the time since he had last seen Buck to explain the drinking and broody pout, but he was honestly still riding the high from finally shaving off that moustache and dancing around his apartment, so he knew that if he spoke he’d probably be too cheery and irritate the man beside him.
Not that he wasn’t worried. Buck arriving at his apartment unannounced had never been uncommon. It was heavily welcomed, actually. But it was due to the frequency of these visits that Eddie could tell exactly when it was just a catching up visit or a ‘I don’t think I should be or want to be alone right now’ visit. This one was definitely the latter.
He had also learned that it was best to wait for Buck to start. If Buck had something to say, he would say it, anyone who knew him knew that. So, Eddie waited.
“What happened to the moustache?” turned out to to be what Buck had to say. Not surprising. Eddie reached a hand up and touched above his lips at the freshly bare skin. He couldn’t help but smile.
“Wanted a change,” He said with a shrug, because ‘I talked to a priest who I’m pretty sure was flirting with me and he said that I denied myself juice which apparently meant I deny myself joy and that my moustache was a mask so I shaved it off then danced to 80s music’ seemed too long winded for the late hour.
Buck blinked, but nodded slowly. “You deciding to boycott pants too?”
Eddie looked down at his bare legs. Honestly, the thought to cover himself up hadn’t even crossed his mind. It was Buck, the guy who knew him more intimately than any lover ever had, who cared if he saw him in his underwear?
“You ever seen Risky Business?” He asked instead of answering, knowing very well that no, Buck probably hadn’t. He might have to team up with Chimney to force Buck to watch it.
Sure enough, Buck shook his head. He had lightened up just a bit, whether it was a result of Eddie’s mood bouncing off of him or the beers he had drank, Eddie wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t looking a gift horse in the mouth.
“You should watch that,” Eddie went to take a sip of his beer, then paused, and passed it to Buck. That didn’t count as depriving himself of joy. Buck’s joy was his joy, they were one and the same. “Anyway, there’s this scene where the main character is dancing in his underwear and I had just showered anyway so…”
Buck raised an eyebrow. Eddie silently wondered if that side of his face would wrinkle faster than the other. “Is that why there’s music playing? You were dancing in your underwear?”
Maybe he should’ve felt embarrassed about that. Ah well. “Yup.”
“…Alright” Buck finished the rest of Eddie’s beer in one gulp and placed it on the ground beside the other finished bottles.
“Now it’s your turn,” Eddie said, reaching his foot across to hit Buck’s good knee with it. (Buck’s knee hadn’t been bad in years, but once you see your best friend crushed by a ladder truck, you’re gonna be a bit more careful, even years later.) “Spill”
“You didn’t really spill much,” Buck pointed out with an almost disappointed look. “I could’ve guessed all that”
“You could’ve guessed me dancing in my underwear?”
“It’s you, yes I could”
Eddie chuckled under his breath, but didn’t dare break the silence that fell over them once more. The ball was back in Buck’s court once again, and Eddie was definitely not itching to take it back.
“Tommy broke up with me.”
Eddie’s breath stopped for a moment. Buck had never been one to sugar coat, but in moments such as these the bluntness of his words still hit like a rock to the head.
“Oh,” He replied quietly, now thinking that he probably should’ve put pants on. “Are you okay?”
Buck looked up, meeting Eddie’s eyes and letting him read his face. He wasn’t even sure if Buck knew that Eddie could read him like a book, but he could, and he never hesitated to.
Especially not now, especially not when Buck looked so angry, but more than that, hurt and confused. Last Eddie heard they were doing dinner and a movie. He would be confused too.
He didn’t push Buck to answer, honestly he wouldn’t be surprised if Buck just didn’t hear him. So, he moved closer and placed a hand on his knee.
“What happened?” He asked as gently as his voice would go with two beers in him. Buck frowned a little and looked down at his lap.
“I don’t know, I thought it was going good.”
Well that didn’t help. But no way in hell was Eddie going to let Buck close himself up. (Also no way in hell was he going anywhere with Tommy ever again.)
“Did you have a fight?”
“No, I- well sort of.” Buck sighed and slumped back against the couch, accidentally nudging Eddie’s hand off of his knee. He looked up, only realising he had the pressure once it was gone. “I asked him to move in”
Eddie blinked. Buck was impulsive, yes, but he liked to think he wasn’t that impulsive.
His mind went to Taylor Kelly.
Never mind.
“Why?” Eddie turned to face Buck, one leg crossed under the other. He looked down for a split second to make sure his shirt was covering him as a backup. “You didn’t cheat on him, did you?”
Buck sent him a look, to which Eddie had to fight hard not to grin, but looked up at the ceiling. “No. I did sleep with his fiancé though”
“What?” Eddie said at once, immediately sitting up straighter. Sure, he was still pissed at Tommy and would probably steal Buck’s phone and block his number, but it was always interesting when Buck was in the wrong.
Maybe he had been watching too much reality TV without Chris around.
“His fiancé was Abby.”
What the actual fuck.
Eddie was silent for a few seconds, staring at Buck with his mouth half open before his words came out in a rush. “Abby like your Abby?”
“Abby like my Abby,” Buck confirmed with another sigh. He leaned over to put his head in his hands. Eddie wondered vaguely if Tommy ever ran his hands through Buck’s curls, if he ever pulled on them-
“Okay, so what’s the timeline here?” He asked, just so he didn’t end up judging the wrong people and admittedly hoping to get Buck to ramble like he usually did. A quiet Buck was never a good Buck.
“Tommy dated Abby before he came out, then he left and Abby started dating me, then she left me in her house for months, so on and so forth” Buck closed his eyes with yet another deep sigh. He looked exhausted, and Eddie couldn’t blame him. That can’t have been easy to find out.
“Jesus,” Eddie mumbled, knocking his knee against Buck’s. “That’s why you broke up?”
“I don’t think so?” Buck titled his head as he looked up at Eddie, like somehow the sight of him would make it all clearer. “I found out about Abby at dinner but I didn’t say I was the one who dated her after cause he called me a himbo inadvertently and it would’ve been awkward to say after that. So I talked to Josh-“ Eddie pulled a face. “-and he said that him and Tommy grew up in a different world and something about glee so I talked to Tommy and told him but then he got all weird when I asked him to move in with me and started talking about it was never gonna last and I would just break his heart and he was never gonna be my last boyfriend, just my first, and then he left.”
Eddie took a few seconds to process all that, and felt an almost overwhelming surge of sympathy and pity for Buck, both because of what had happened and because of how draining it must be to deal with all that.
“So, do you think he ever wanted it to be serious?” He asked tentatively, not wanting to upset Buck but wanting to push him to talk about it instead of bottling it all up. Shame they already drank all the beer.
“I don’t know,” Buck said again, letting his voice get quieter now that his mini ramble was over. It must’ve just happened, considering it didn’t sound like they got to the movie and that was meant to be starting in ten minutes. “I thought he did. He bought me Lakers tickets”
“You don’t like basketball,” Eddie was quick to point out. It was a straight hard fact that Buck didn’t like basketball, he knew that and was honestly surprised Tommy didn’t.
“I know I don’t” Buck’s voice grew a bit more whiney then returned to its normal level of whine. “But I couldn’t tell him that”
“He flew me to Vegas in a helicopter,” Eddie didn’t know if pointing this out was a good move or not, but screw him he had been startlingly honest with people today, why not once more. “and we had only met a week before”
Buck’s lips twitched in something akin to a snarl, which Eddie found funnier than he should.
“Sorry, look-“ Eddie moved so he was in Buck’s line of sight and put a hand on his shoulder. He knew Buck. He knew where Buck’s mind was. “He should’ve been clear with you from the start. You were with the guy for half a year, if he didn’t see it going anywhere he should’ve said so. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
He didn’t let Buck break the eye contact, wanting to make very sure that his message got across. He knew Buck inside and out, he knew Buck better than he knew himself, and he knew that yet another person leaving him, walking away when Buck was trying so hard to make it work, was hurting him bad.
“I wanted him to stay” The words were so quiet, so unlike Buck but also so clearly the words sitting at the core of his soul that it felt like he was seeing Buck unpeeled. Eddie swallowed.
“I know,” He replied in a half whisper, feeling Buck’s pain as if it was his own. “I’m sorry”
Their eyes remained locked, thousands of emotions and messages flying between them in the few seconds they remained that way. Eddie slowly put an arm around Buck’s shoulders, applying pressure so Buck would know he wanted him closer, but letting Buck decide the rest.
His heart fluttered when a mop of curly hair landed on his collarbone, and he didn’t even think before the lower half of his face was pressed into it.
“Why can’t people stay?” Buck whispered in a small voice that Eddie now recognised he wouldn’t be hearing if not for the beers.
“I’ll stay” The reply was obvious. What else was there to stay? No matter how many people came or went, Eddie would stay. That was a given. “You know I will”
Buck breathed in, out, then nodded just a little. “Yeah. I know you will.”
Part of Eddie wanted to pull away, to set Buck up on the couch with a promise to talk more in the morning then retreat to his bedroom, but God damn it he was letting himself be happy and he didn’t think he had ever been happier than when Buck was in his arms. They had hugged before, but never for this long, and never this…intimately. He never wanted it to end.
Maybe it was a testament to the empty beer bottles on the floor, or the emotional day that both of them had had, but neither of them said a word as the hug turned into less and less of a hug and more of a cuddle. Eddie shifted to lean his bodyweight against the back of the couch so he could take on Buck’s.
He had liked Tommy, and he had never tried to keep that secret, but anyone who led his best friend on for months and broke up with him so suddenly that it lead to this deserved his time. Nobody that made Buck look this broken deserved his time.
“Okay,” Eddie said eventually, nudging Buck up despite everything in him wanting to pull him in closer. Buck looked up quickly, his vulnerability and fear of being kicked out even more clear than usual. Eddie was quick to dissuade it. “We should go to bed.”
It took Buck’s brain a second, but once it caught up he nodded, pushed himself away from Eddie and went to grab the pillow kept under the couch for when he slept over-
“Wait,” Eddie cut in, grabbing his wrist to stop him. Buck looked up again, confused, so Eddie continued. “Sleep in my bed.”
He didn’t know what he was thinking, honestly. He probably wasn’t. (Buck’s fault for bringing beer, just because he had gotten more tipsy didn’t mean Eddie was sober.) He continued.
“I don’t want you throwing up and choking on your own vomit in your sleep cause you were sleeping down here. Come on.” He stood up and offered a hand to Buck, giving him a look so he’d take it.
“You’re gonna be fine,” He said under his breath as he placed Buck’s arm around his shoulder so he could help him up the stairs. He hated that Buck kept getting left. He deserved someone who would stay through it all, someone who was happy when he was happy, someone that loved him. That was what Buck deserved. “I promise”
“I know I am,” Buck’s voice was quiet, slurred from both alcohol and exhaustion, but still genuine in a way he usually never let show. He patted Eddie’s chest once as they reached his bed. “You’re here”
Eddie swallowed and gently helped Buck lay down. His clothes looked fine to sleep in, though the jeans might be annoying, so Eddie pushed past his tiredness and worked Buck’s jeans off of him. His heart fluttered when he saw skin, though he had no idea why. There was a shortness to his breath that hadn’t been there before, and only seemed to grow when Buck stretched and caused his hoodie to rise up.
With a quick shake of his head, Eddie tossed Buck’s jeans into the laundry basket and lay down beside him. Buck’s eyes were closed, so Eddie let himself stare for a moment. He looked over the texture of Buck’s birthmark, eyes tracing the shape that he knew by heart and the few out of place eyebrow hairs around his eyebrow. He looked at the very slight dust of sunburn over Buck’s cheeks and nose that just looked like someone had briefly used blush on him.
He looked down at Buck’s lips, the way they were just parted enough so Eddie could see a glimpse of white teeth, the way there were a few spots with layers missing from biting. His chest tightened.
Buck’s hand lazily moved as if with a mind of its own, grabbing onto Eddie’s arm with a gentle yet needy grip, as if checking on him.
“Still here,” Eddie whispered as he lifted a hand up and tucked one stray curl back into place. Buck hummed, the alcohol, exhaustion and pure contentment at the touch winning over and lulling him asleep. Eddie’s heart skipped two beats.
Something inside of him clicked. “Fuck.” He said very, very quietly, feeling his view of his life shifting in the moment.
He should probably call that priest again.