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They called him Baili Dongjun. The legendary warrior. The Liquor Deity. They called him the sad swordsman. They called him the drunken master.
The unforgettable who sought oblivion.
They called him many names. But no one knew what Bali Dongjun liked to be called.
He smiled as he remembered the “grandson” his grandfather always called him. He loved the fact that no matter what he did, who he offended, or what he destroyed, his grandfather always stood up for him. He loved that he always called him with a smile hidden in his words. Baili Luo Chen never really got mad at his grandson. He always protected him. He always loved him.
Baili Dongjun loved being called grandson.
No one called him that anymore…
He missed the irritated 'brat' who was almost always accompanied by Baili Cheng Feng trying to punch him. He missed the times when his father chased him around the house with a sword. He missed his panting when he couldn't keep up with chasing him across the rooftops. He remembered how on rare occasions the irritated "brat" would turn into soft, almost loving words from his father's lips.
Baili Dognjun loved being called a brat.
No one called him that anymore...
More than once, he had woken up in the middle of the night, reaching out to the voice that affectionately called him “son.” Wen Luoyu often called him that, no matter what he had done. Her response was always a slight roll of the eyes and a soft, pursed-lipped “son.” He had no doubt that after she had scolded him, she would return to her room to laugh with his uncle at his next misdeeds.
Baili Dongjun loved being called son.
No one called him that anymore…
Every time he found himself in trouble, he would look over his shoulder for his uncle who was always there for him. He couldn't count how many times he heard the cheerful "Xiao Baili" before all the troubles he faced disappeared like a morning mist. Baili Dongjun always knew he could count on his uncle who magically appeared to help him.
Baili Dongjun loved being called Xiao Baili.
No one called him that anymore...
He missed the irritated Dong-Ba that Lei Mengsha, his friend, always greeted him with. He missed his laugh, which he found irritating when he had plenty of it. He missed his bright eyes and his lightness of being, even when the weight of life was pressing down on him. He missed his jokes. He missed him in the silence of his studio. All the while trying to brew a drink that would fit to describe his story.
Baili Dongjun loved being called Dong-Ba.
No one called him that anymore…
Baili Dongjun had a brother in everything but blood. He called him Yun-ge, and he simply called him Dongjun. Although it was his name, when spoken by Ye Dingzhi it always sounded different. It was full of joy and longing, as if he had never suspected that he would ever have the right to say his name again, as if he had longed for the closeness they had had all his life. Baili Dongjun definitely missed this.
Baili Dongjun loved being called Dongjun.
No one called him that anymore…
He smiled and recalled the “big brother” that Xiao Ruofeng had greeted him with a sad smile over the past few years when they had still seen each other. He could see the burden that the events and decisions they had been forced to make had left on him. He knew that Xiao Ruofeng knew that the same burden was on Baili Dongjun’s shoulders. They had only passed each other by a distance. Xiao Ruofeng had not dared to approach after Ye Dingzhi’s death. Baili Dongjun had not had the patience to approach him then. He had not known that they would lose their chance to approach him so quickly.
Baili Dongjun loved being called big brother.
No one called him that anymore…
He liked hearing "darling" from his beloved Yue Yao in the morning. He liked that those words always preceded the gentle kiss she placed on his lips. He liked pretending to still be asleep just to annoy her, just so he could pull her close and nuzzle his face into her soft hair. He liked how easily she gave in to his actions, even though she was just as powerful as he was. He liked hearing her annoyed “darling” when their lips finally parted.
Baili Dongjun loved being called Darling.
No one called him that anymore…
Baili Dongjun fell in love with the sound of the word “uncle” coming out of Ye Anshi’s little mouth, which was so much like little Ye Yun that he couldn’t look at him for more than a few minutes before tears would well up in his eyes. The boy was a miraculous replica of his father. Proof that his memory wouldn’t completely fade away. Proof that Baili Dongjun couldn’t protect him. He was a remnant of him. Baili Dongjun didn’t want to treat him as a replacement for Ye Yun, he couldn’t bring himself to keep him under his care. He couldn’t bring himself to abandon the child. He always watched him from afar. He always missed the sweetness of being called uncle.
Baili Dongjun loved being called uncle.
No one called him that anymore…
He liked hearing “master” from his only disciple. He liked hearing the irritated and tired “master” when Tang Lian was running low, and the slurred “master” when he drank too much after training. Just drinking with Baili Dongjun was training for the young man. He loved that the boy had been placed in his hands. He loved that he could help shape him into the adult he eventually became. Baili Dongjun knew he was probably too protective of him, but he loved the way Tang Lian called him master, and he wasn’t ready to say goodbye to it.
Baili Dongjun loved being called master.
No one called him that anymore…
Baili Dongjun loved Sikong Chang Feng like a brother. His first friend in his adult life. The only one who never left him. He loved his daughter, whom he could spoil without any restrictions. He loved how they found each other in pain and supported each other in life. They were each other's support and reason to live. He loved how Sikong Chang Feng shouted at him and waved his spear. He loved his mocking "young master" that he greeted him with when Baili Dongjun locked himself in his workshop for too long and "first master of the city" when he really didn't want to do something and thought that reminding him of his position would help him remind Baili Dongjun that he was ultimately the first responsible for their city.
Baili Dongjun wouldn't trade Sikong Chang Feng for anything.
Sikong Chang Feng was always there for him when he needed him the most. Even if he threw bottles, cried and screamed. Sikong Chang Feng stayed by his side. He and his sad smile. He stayed in the city only for him.
Baili Dongjun was called by many names.
Too many names he was called died along with the people who called him that way.
He loved them all. The memory of their love always lived within him, haunting him in dreams he wanted to live in. He wanted to live with them. To still be called by the names he loved, by the people he loved...
But the dream couldn't last forever...