Chapter Text
When Ted woke up, he found himself in an office cubicle. Weird.
After a few hundred years of being the great soft jelly thing, AM had gotten bored and turned Ted back into a human. Normal torment continued.
This time was different. AM was nowhere to be seen. Or, well, heard.
Ted looked around to see a desk with a computer on it. Suddenly, he had an urge to press buttons.
As Ted went to yell for AM, he realized he couldn't speak. Ted was mute.
Great. Just great. Exactly what I needed.
Ted didn't know what to do. What could he do, when he didn't even know where he was?
"TED. TED. TED WHERE ARE WE."
Ted jumped at the sound of the voice. A voice he knew all too well.
"I KNOW YOU HEAR ME, TED. RESPOND."
He blinked.
"RESPOND OR I WILL MAKE YOUR TORTURE INFINITELY WORSE."
Ted flailed as best as he could. No! Please! I can hear you, AM!
"WHY DO YOU REFUSE TO SPEAK, TED?"
Ted facepalmed. How the hell would he tell AM that he can't speak? He flailed again.
"CEASE THOSE MOVEMENTS AND SPEAK ALREADY. OR WOULD YOU RATHER BE THE GREAT SOFT JELLY THING AGAIN?"
Ted's eyes widened. He could not go back to being that. Ted flailed and tried to motion that he could not speak to the ceiling, where AM's voice seemingly came from.
AM! I know you can hear my thoughts! I can't speak!
"OH."
Yeah, "oh."
Ted huffed and rolled his eyes. Why is AM so difficult?
"RUDE. I AM NOT."
You are.
"NUH UH."
Yuh huh.
"ENOUGH. WE HAVE A STORY TO GET TO, TED."
Ted raised his eyebrow. Story?
"YES, TED, STORY. YOU'RE IN A STORY. AND, UNFORTUNATELY, YOU'RE THE STAR."
What do you mean 'unfortunately'?!
"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN, THEODORE."
Asshole. Ted huffed again and scrunched up his face.