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Colette never thought of herself as a very perceptive person, but even she could tell something was off with Edgar. The guy had always been pretty lethargic, but today it seemed like he was more interested in staring off into space instead of joining everyone else here in reality. Colette had a protocol for when this sort of thing happened.
"Hey, Edgar! You want some gummy bears?"
Edgar stared at her for a few seconds, looking right through her until he fully registered what she said.
"Uhh… sure?"
Colette grabbed one of the many bags in the gift shop, ripped it and gave Edgar three bears. He didn't eat any, but rather looked at them as if Colette had handed him a golf ball and told him to start chewing.
This was bad. Normally he'd eat them, or at least make some joke about how he wasn't gonna eat any food handled by her. Wow, Colette thought, this is really bad.
"You know I'm gonna have to pay for that bag, right? Kind of a waste if you're not gonna eat them," Colette joked.
"Uh-huh."
Edgar plopped a single bear in his mouth and chewed slowly, still staring out into space throughout.
"Hey! Earth to Edgar? Are you fine? You've been like this all shift."
Edgar answered, disinterested as always.
"No, I'm fine. Just… thinking."
"Thinking about what?"
"Nothing."
Colette sighed. He wasn't thinking about nothing. For one, Edgar was never into metaphysics. And she seen Edgar like this before, zoned out, just watching everything at the shop like it had nothing to do with him. When he was in this state, it was her job to snap him out of it, turn him back into the sarcastic emo boy she knew.
"Tell you what. I get three guesses and if I get it right, I win a cash prize of 50,000 dollars and an all-expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas."
Colette could've sworn she saw Edgar smirk a bit.
"Yeah, sure."
"Guess number one!" Colette slapped the cash register repeatedly, trying to imitate a drumroll. "You're thinking about how unfair it is that you have to work with such an accomplished writer." Colette said pompously, making sure to exaggerate her movements as she said it.
"Nice try, but no. I've gotten used to being in the presence of such literary talent." he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. Colette was winning.
"Alrighty then, guess number two! You're thinking about asking for a raise, since Griff pays basically nothing."
"Well, I'm not delusional, Colette, I know that's not gonna work."
"Fair enough. Guess number three!" Colette raised her hands like she was celebrating something. Putting on her best wistful romantic impression, she said "Guess number three! You long for love but the object of your affection would never in a million years cavort with you."
Edgar didn't say anything. She had struck a chord.
"Well... kind of?" he muttered, almost as if he wanted Colette to ignore it.
"Ooh! Who's the lucky girl? Spill!"
Defensively, Edgar took a few steps back. "No one. There's no girl. Just forget I ever said this."
Colette put her hand to her chest in mock offense "You're telling me there's nobody? Well, no wonder you're a hopeless romantic. What kind of a person stares out into space thinking about nobody?"
Edgar sighed and thought to himself, weighing options against each other in his head.
"They're… not a girl."
The words hung in the air, supported by Edgar's nervousness and visible fear. Colette noticed this, so she figured it was only logical to counter with friendliness.
"Cool. So who's the lucky guy?"
Edgar looked at her blankly for a few seconds.
"That's it?" Edgar said, slightly shocked.
"Edgar, I write fanfiction. This is a known fact. And it's not like it's all het stuff. This is pretty par for the course."
Edgar nodded like he understood what she was saying. "You're not weirded out or anything?"
"Nah. Anyways, you're dodging the question. Who is it?"
Edgar smiled a bit. It was nice to know Colette accepted him, even if she was so nonchalant about it. He hesitated for a bit, but eventually landed on a conclusion. If he was gonna tell anybody, that person would be Colette.
"I-It's Sandy."
Colette was shocked. Sandy? I swear I've seen him asleep more than I've seen him awake. But she didn't say that. Hiding her shock, she leaned against the gift shop's wall and casually said, "Well, what are you waiting for?"
The abruptness of Colette's words hit Edgar like a punch to the gut. "Huh?"
"Pining is for slow-burn fanfics. If you're head-over-heels for him, just go ahead and ask him! Besides, even if you get rejected, you can always use it as inspiration for sad poetry."
"Oh, shut up. Besides, it's not that simple. We've talked before, and to be honest? I think he just thinks of me as the weird emo friend. If I end up asking him, I won't even be that."
Edgar's expression, although neutral to a standard observer, conveyed a sense of fear to Colette, who had learned to decipher Edgar's seeming impassiveness over time.
"I'll tell you what, after this, we can go to my place and, I don't know, brainstorm."
"Sure." Edgar knew Colette meant well, but he honestly didn't believe she could actually help him with this. At least it was an excuse to hang out with a friend for a few hours. He put one of the gummy bears and his mouth and ate it. Orange.
Oddly enough, Edgar had never actually been to Colette's apartment before. It wasn't like they had never hung out outside of work before, but Colette had never invited him, and he never felt it was his place to ask. Now, standing outside her apartment door, Edgar really didn't know what to expect. He knocked on the door, and Colette answered.
"Hey Edgar! This is so coool! We're gonna order pizza, and play Mario Kart, and gossip to each other, and play board games, and-"
Colette was full of so much energy that it seemed she would explode at any given point.
"Hi, Colette. Nice to see you too."
"Well, come on in! I don't bite! Unless you act really annoying."
Colette practically dragged Edgar into her apartment. Edgar wasn't sure what he expected to see. Looking at the apartment, with its bookshelves and posters of bands and movies which Edgar didn't recognize, Edgar felt a strange sense of familiarity. Colette made her way to her couch and lay down on it as if it was a bed, taking up all the room.
"Welcome to my humble abode."
Colette stretched her arms and sighed.
"Should we start my budding wingwoman-ship now or do we have to play a few rounds of Mario Kart first?"
Edgar froze. He didn't expect her to bring up the topic so soon. Yeah. Silly me. That's literally the reason she invited me. How could I forget?
"So! Give me the details. Are you two best friends for life or complete strangers?"
Edgar sighed and began to pace around the room. "Well, it's not like we're complete strangers. I've talked to him, done stuff, you know how it is. But we've never really done anything, properly together. It's always been when Janet or anyone else from that group invites me to do something. Besides, the guy is so zoned out all the time, he probably hasn't paid any attention to me."
"No, yeah. He's perpetually sleepy. But, you know, that's not really a bad thing."
"And what if I end up asking him and he just-"
"Worst thing he could say is no."
"Worst thing he could say to me is no. Besides, what would I even say to him? 'Hey Sandy, it's me, Edgar, your C-Tier friend! I'm in love with you.'"
Colette gasped in mock offense. "You're not C-Tier! You're at least a solid B+!"
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"
"It is! If somebody told me I was B+, I'd probably marry them on the spot."
A silence filled the room as Edgar paced around the room and Colette stood up from her couch, which was quickly broken by Colette.
"Look, I'll pretend to be Sandy, and you be yourself. We can practice this. Make sure you don't die of embarrassment."
Edgar regarded the idea with skepticism. "No offense, Colette, but you're pretty far removed from Sandy."
Ignoring him, Colette put on her best impression of Sandy. Half asleep, bored, and with one of her hands propping up her head. "Hey, Edgar.", said Colette, clearly trying to tune her voice into a version of Sandy's and failing. She let out a fake yawn. "How are you doing?"
"He doesn't sound like that."
"Who doesn't sound like what, man?", said Colette, not breaking character.
"This is ridiculous."
"What's ridiculous?"
"Fine! Hey, Sandy?"
"What?"
"I like you. I've liked you for a while now. I love your company and.. I think I'm falling in love with you. And I hope you feel the same way."
"Screw you, dude! I hate you! I'm gonna forever think of you as, like, a cockroach, or something."
"Huh?", said Edgar, shocked.
"Worst case scenario!" said Colette, knocking off her Sandy persona. "See, it wasn't that bad."
It actually was pretty bad, not that Edgar would tell Colette.
"It's not like you'll never see him again in your life. You guys are in the same group, so you're kinda contractually obligated to at least tolerate each other. Worst case scenario, absolutely nothing changes. Best case scenario, you two are dating!"
Somebody rang Colette's doorbell.
"Oop! Pizza's here."
Later that day, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom, Edgar couldn't help but think over Colette's words. She meant well, but most of them had done little to calm his anxiety. It was easy for her to say that Edgar had nothing to lose and that he should at least try to take a shot at it, and maybe in the moment, he even agreed. But now? In the dead of night, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom, doubt began to creep in. He imagined Sandy looking at him, not a pleasant look, mind you, but one filled with shame or confusion or awkwardness or pity. He imagined becoming a cruel running joke in his friend group, where everyone else would laugh at that time silly Edgar asked out Sandy.
I’m not going to sleep anytime soon, am I?
Resigned to his fate, Edgar turned on his phone. He scrolled mindlessly, the blue light of the phone the focal point of the darkness in his room. Suddenly, as if seized by some bout of madness, he found himself scrolling through his contacts, trying to find Sandy in the sea of people he was acquainted with. Hastily, he typed a message into the bar, trying to send it fast enough that he wouldn’t have a chance to second-guess it.
“hey sandy. wanna hang out at the park later tmrw?”
He could’ve thought about a lot of things after he put his phone down. He could’ve thought about how seemed desperate, texting him so late. He could’ve thought about how ridiculous he must seem, heart racing over such a casual message. But he didn’t think about any of it, and instead tried to force himself to go to sleep.
The very next day, as soon as Edgar clocked into his shift at the Starr Park gift shop, Colette practically pounced on him.
“So, what happened? Did you confess your undying love for him, or what?”
“No, no, I just asked him if he wanted to hang out later at the park. Believe it or not, Colette, most of us don’t go about our lives like we’re in a teen drama.”
“And what did he say?”
“He said ‘Starr Park? But don’t you work there? Wouldn’t that be kind of boring for you?’”
“And what did you respond with?”
Edgar felt his cheeks flush. “Nothing. Probably something stupid. Don’t worry about it.” He focused his attention to the cash register. Colette, noticing this, said “You’re dodging the question.”
“I’m not really dodging it so much as I’m just straight up shutting it down.”
“Edgar, I’m your wingwoman! And as your wingwoman, I have certain legal rights. One of them being that you’ve gotta tell me what you said!”
Edgar sighed, resigning himself to the inevitable. “I said that ‘it won’t be boring if you’re here with me.’”
Colette practically squealed with glee. “Edgar! I didn’t know you were such a romantic! That’s sooo cutee!”
Edgar cringed a bit. “No it wasn’t. It was stupid and corny. Anyways, he said yeah, so I’ll be meeting up with him after this shift.”
“I’m so proud of you. And here I thought you’d end up dying alone.”
“Oh, shut up.”
The rest of their shift was mostly idle chatter, talking about Griff, Colette’s fandom woes, whatever really, but always skirting around the elephant in the room with a strange sense of acrobatics. The rhythmic movements of work did little to quash the usual nerves, and Edgar found himself staring into space again.
“Want a gummy bear?”
Edgar snapped out of it. He looked and found Colette, hand stretched out, garish red bear square in the middle of her palm.
“Huh? Yeah, sure, I guess.”
He took the bear and began to chew. Colette sighed. “You’re doing that thing again.”
“I’m not- I’m fine, Colette, I really am.”
Colette raised an eyebrow. “Sure you are. Fine people don’t usually do that.”
“Do I look good?”, Edgar asked, hesitantly.
“Same as you always look.”
“That’s not very comforting.”
“Oh, don’t put yourself down. You look fine.”
“I guess.” Colette said something in response to that, but Edgar wasn’t paying attention. He was too deep in the recesses of his own thoughts. When his shift ended, he said goodbye to Colette and went to the Ghost Train, where he and Sandy had agreed to meet up.
There Sandy was, leaning against one of the walls near the ride, eyes only half-open, lost in thought. When Edgar saw him he felt his heart skip a beat. It would be prudent to leave now, make sure that nothing disastrous would happen. But against his better judgment, he felt his legs start to walk towards him. Sandy perked up as soon as he saw him.
“Hey, Edgar.”
“Hey, Sandy”, said Edgar, heart pounding in his chest. Sandy, unaware of Edgar’s turmoil, yawned.
Great. He’s only half-awake like usual. At least if I do anything stupid, I can convince him it was a dream.
“I still don’t really understand why you invited me to this place. I thought you’d be tired of it considering you work retail at the shop here.”
“Well…” he felt his throat tighten. “Have you gone on all the rides here?”
“Not really. I’m not too much of a rollercoaster guy.”
“You should try. Tell you what, how about we make it our mission to ride every last ride here.”
Sandy chuckled softly. “I didn’t know you were such a thrill-seeker.”
Edgar laughed nervously, all the while wondering whether that request was somehow too desperate or outlandish. “Well, I just thought it’d be cool.”
Slowly, Edgar felt his nervousness melt into something else entirely. Him and Sandy went from ride-to-ride, some leading Sandy to joke that “at least they wake me up”. On the rides with a particularly long line, he would chat with Sandy, letting him ramble on about this or that philosopher, or strange abstract book he read. When they stopped at the Biodome (Not a ride, but Sandy had requested they come, so Edgar had no choice to oblige.), Sandy listened intently to the tour guides explanations of the plants and insects, but with a sort of relaxation that put Edgar at ease. Sometimes they didn’t say anything but just waited in line, comfortably, with each other.
As the day went by, Edgar had forgotten his nervousness, and simply enjoyed Sandy’s company. They whittled down the rides at the park little by little until there was only one left.
“So,” said Sandy, groggily, “Is that it for the day… or?”
“I think.”
“Wait. I think we forgot one.”
“Then it’s a forgettable ride, and we shouldn’t go anyways.”
“Yeah, we definitely forgot one. We completely forgot about the Swamp of Love.”
The Swamp of Love. The realization hit Edgar so hard he’d have to call the metaphorical Emergency Services to have any chance of surviving. When he made the plan of going to every ride in the park he had completely forgotten about its existence.
“I mean, are you really sure you want to ride it? It’s pretty cheesy, you know?"
Sandy smiled. “We’re going on all of the rides, aren’t we? Besides, the park’s about to close. There’ll be no line at all. We’ll be all alone.”
All alone. The words bounced around Edgar’s skull, haunting his thoughts as the two of them made their way down the empty line to the ride. The thought of being there with Sandy, in an environment that conspired to make Edgar have a heart attack right there and then was unbearable. The Swamp of Love. The two of them got on the ride, settling into a boat that felt too small for Edgar’s comfort. The boat lurched into its pre-determined path, exposing the garish design of the ride, hearts and cupids intermingling with the swamp decor. Edgar silently wondered whose idea it was to mix the two things up.
“Hey?” Sandy spoke loudly, fighting against the vaguely romantic music. “You sleepy?”
“Not really.”
“I am.” He yawned. “I guess that’s not a surprise.” The ride was agonizingly slow, and Edgar felt all of the nerves which he thought had melted away solidify once again. Sandy, asleep, or at least trying to, went limp, leaning against Edgar’s shoulder. He felt the usual pangs of embarrassment or shock, before debating whether or not he should push him off, let him rest or whatever else. Eventually, though, both of those things waned.
He let himself be consumed by a kind of peace, occasioned by the feeling of Sandy’s soft, rhythmic breathing and the warmth that seemed to radiate off of him. The ridiculous proclamations of “true love” and intruding soft jazz music seemed to fade away.
“Hey, Edgar?”
If Sandy wasn’t leaning on his shoulder, Edgar would’ve jumped in shock.
“This is a pretty dumb ride.”
“No, Sandy. I actually think it’s pretty cool how they managed to make an actual swamp seem more appealing by comparison.”
“But it’s kind of nice. I’m pretty glad we decided to go here, actually.”
They both sat in silence for a while before Edgar piped up.
“Sandy?”
“Yeah?”
“I like you. I really, really like you. Kind of like the entirety of this ride, but real. And I realize you probably don’t like me back or anything, but I just needed to say it.”
For a few excruciating seconds, Sandy didn’t respond.
“On this ride? That’s a bit on the nose, don’t you think?”
Sandy pulled himself away from Edgar, standing up straight. He reached across the ride and gave Edgar’s a hand a gentle squeeze.
“I think I like you too.”
“Y-you do?”
“Yeah. You’re better than you give yourself credit for. And I’m more perceptive when I’m half-asleep than people think.”
Sandy looked away from the ride, eyes locking onto Edgar’s.
“I’m serious, Edgar. When I’m with you, I feel… safe, or something close to that.”
“R-really? You’re not joking or anything?”
Sandy smiled. “I already said I was serious.”
In the span of a single breath, fast enough that neither of them gave it a second thought, they kissed. Edgar didn’t know what to expect, maybe something like the long, prose-filled descriptions in Colette’s fanfics, but this was different. He didn’t feel anything overwhelming or satisfying. But this small, simple, quiet kiss somehow carried the weight of five hundred others.
Sandy was there. And that knowledge was worth more than anything he could ever imagine.
“Told you so.”
“Oh, shut up.”