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"I regret saying I wanted kids", Saitama sighed as he watched the "kids", who crowded his tiny balcony and stared up to the milky-white sky. Genos shot him a short look. "Why?", he asked before proceeding with his self-assigned task of folding laundry. "Because", Saitama said and looked the other straight in the eyes. "Because when I said I wanted kids I didn't mean eight of them! And I very much did not mean now." "But eight is a good number!", Genos insisted, after setting the neatly folded hoodie aside. Saitama just scratched his nose. "Not when it comes to kids.", he mumbled. "What did you even think? What did your doctor think? You do realize we only live in a small apartment, do you?"
Genos seemed to think about that. "We mutually agreed that eight is a great number.", the cyborg mused. "Agreed?!" The bald man tried his best not to shout but it did not really work out. "I didn't agree to anything!" "The doctor and me.", Genos shrugged. Saitama gave an exasperated sigh and threw his arms up. "I give up.", was all he said and he didn't notice the wide smile that made its way to his..., well his boyfriends face. (He still couldn't get used to calling Genos that.) The bald hero still wasn't happy about being only 25 and being the father of eight children. If you could even call him a father, that is.
Genos and he weren't even dating for that long. Maybe three months? Or four? He even hardly remembered saying he wanted kids! No, scratch that. He remembers telling the cyborg that he wants kids one day. A minute of silence followed and then a very calm and collected voice said: "But sensei, I can't conceive. And you can't either." Another moment of silence passed. "But I suppose I could ask Dr. Kuseno to prepare some... upgrades." Saitama remembers his face heating up very uncomfortably. "Stop calling me sensei, idiot", he spluttered. "I know that. How can you even say stuff like that with a straight face? No, don't answer that. It's not important anyways so just forget the whole thing, yeah? No more talking about kids."
But Genos didn't "just forget". Genos didn't even listen, or so it seemed although he hadn't brought the topic back up again. Saitama shouldn't have felt save. He should have known that something was off. Because eight weeks later Genos showed up on his front door, crowded by what seemed like eight mini-versions of himself. Saitama opened the door, only briefly wondering why the other even bothered to knock instead of simply letting himself in, (Saitama didn't give him a key for nothing, right?) and froze completely. "I'm home, sensei." was all Genos said. Eight pairs of bright yellow eyes stared at him and said in unison "Good morning, sensei!" And Saitama swears until his last breath; and he will fight that fact!; that he fainted. Because he very much did not.
(Yes, he did.)
It's been three weeks since that "incident". More like "accident", Saitama thought grimly. At first he had tried to convince Genos to... just return them or whatever. Or so he told himself, because there was very little convincing happening from his side. He simply didn't have the heart for that, especially not after Genos told him that "the little ones" could be easily shut off, if he really wanted them gone. But the look on the cyborg's face was so heart-wrenchingly sad, Saitama just couldn't bring himself to say "yes." "Nah, whatever.", was what he said instead. The sight of his burning comforter made him regret his decision instantly. And he never found out who exactly the culprit was.
"Do they even have names?" That particular question kept Saitama awake the whole night. Well, that and the constant whirring of now nine cooling systems. The sounds of only Genos' fans were easy enough to ignore at night, they even provided a certain degree of comfort for him. But the additional eight mini-Genoses/cyborgs/androids/whatever-they-were, were definitely too loud to ignore. "Yo. Yo, Genos." He poked the cyborgs nose until he stirred awake. "Is something wrong, sensei?", he whispered. The bald hero made a face. "Can't you stop calling me that already? I'm your boyfriend, for crying out loud!" Genos tried to hide the tiny smile on his face, but failed miserably. "Sorry. Did you want something? Good morning, by the way." "Yeah, yeah, good morning.", Saitama mumbled, not really paying attention. "The... the kids. What are they even? Cyborgs? Anyway, do they have names?" The blond sat up carefully, as not to wake anyone. "They're androids, sensei. For being a cyborg, a certain percentage of human cells needs to remain in an artificial body. That's not the case for them, seeing as they are fully artificial beings. They have been programmed on the basis of my knowledge, provided by my notes, though." When he saw the others' annoyed expression, Genos realized that he exceeded his 20-word-limit once again. So he just added a quick "No, they don't have names. But they are programmed to answering to the numbers one to eight." Saitamas face fell. "Lame.", he said. "And what did I just say about calling me sensei?" "Sorry, force of habit.", the cyborg apologized. "Can you come up with better names then, sen- Saitama?" "Uh, no.", he had to admit. "But it's only your fault for getting eight of them." He did not hear the quiet "Not sorry about that one."
Living with the "little ones", as Genos dubbed them, proved to be even more chaotic than Saitama could ever have imagined. Seeing as his apartment was only meant to accommodate one person, it was already crowded with two. Now it seemed as if it was going to burst any second. Not to mention how the costs for food rose within the last weeks. If Saitama still had hair, he would have ripped it out all by now. Thankfully, Genos was more than happy to help out in that matter. Then again, if it wasn't for Genos, he wouldn't even have to face that "problem" in the first place. But if Genos wasn't even there... Urgh, no. It was better not to think about that one.
A gentle tug on his sleeve brought Saitama back to reality. He blinked a few times to clear his view. The hero turned to his right and looked at Genos, but the cyborg wasn't even looking at him. Huh, so who... Oh. Saitama turned his face to the other side. One of the kids was sitting next to him and looked up to him with bright yellow eyes. Now it would be nice to know which one it was. "Sensei." the little android said quietly. "Eh, yeah? What is it, uh..." "Four, sensei." the tiny bot assisted. "There's something outside. You should take a look, sensei."
Saitamas eyebrows rose. "There's something outside?" he parroted. "Like a monster, or something?" Four seemed taken aback by that. "I... I don't know, sensei." He tugged again at his sleeve. "Please come outside." "Alright.", the hero sighed and rose from his place by the table. He looked at Genos for a moment. "You coming, too?" The blond just shook his head. "No, I guess you're more than capable of taking care of whatever is going on out there.", he simply stated.
Grumbling, Saitama made his way over to the balcony door; or better he let himself being dragged over there by Three. Eh, Four, of course. He slid the balcony door open and took a step outside. And instantly regretted it. Damn, how could he forget it was the middle of winter?! It was more than just "a bit chilly" out there, especially if you're not even wearing socks. The tiny Genoses didn't seem to have that problem, though. They were almost piling themselves up on each other in the (not very) far corner of the balcony - as far away from the railing as possible. Saitama figured it was the same as with Genos, some internal heating or whatever. But why the piling? "Uh okay, I'm here. What's going on? And what the ever-loving f- (crap, shit, fuck, don't swear! Genos told him not to swear in front of the kids!) -un (phew) are you guys doing there."
"There's something weird!" "Something weird, huh?" Saitama looked around. Nothing weird so far. Did they find a spider? Was there a monster on the street?! In a flash, Saitama bent over the railing and looked down on the street. Lame, there was literally nothing except for the same old street. Nothing potentially dangerous. "I guess you have to explain. Did you find a spider or something?" The bald man scratched his head. Man, why didn't they just tell him in the first place what was going on? Was he supposed to do some... eh, quality-parenting or whatever? A guide on how to handle android-kids would be nice right now, thank you very much.
"Stuff is coming down.", a tiny voice squeaked, probably from the bottom of the bot-pile. "Stuff.", he parroted. "C'mon, someone elaborate. 20 words or less. Now." In an instant, eight tiny hands pointed to the other end of the balcony, straight into the air. "Stuff is coming down.", they all said in unison. "Can't you see it, sensei? The stuff!", Four whispered and started tugging on his sleeve again.
And then it hit Saitama: It was snowing. The "stuff coming down"... snow. He did his best not to facepalm. Yeah, that wouldn't be a good idea. It reminded him of that time, when one of them said something stupid. Saitama had sighed and facepalmed and the kid started to cry. He and his seven siblings. The oil-stains were a goddamn pain to get rid of and Genos refused to help him. Good times. Not.
Okay, how do you explain someone what exactly snow is? "That's snow." he just said and almost wanted to pat himself on the back. Good one, Saitama, you really saved the day. He should probably punch himself in the face for being stupid, urgh. "Err, I mean that's nothing to be afraid of. It's just frozen water. Kind of. I think." Damn, he should have insisted on Genos coming with him. He was way better than him when it came to explaining stuff.
"Eep!" Saitama flinched when he heard the high-pitched shriek next to him. Apparently, Four had stretched out his tiny hand and caught one of the bigger snowflakes, that slowly fell from the sky. (How did he not notice the snow in the first place?!) "Sensei, it's cold!" Saitama blinked. "Why, yes of course it is cold. It's snow." "Is it always cold and fluffy?", one of the others piped up (probably Six, as far as Saitama could guess). "I... I guess?" Okay, he needed a back-up plan and fast. "Err, listen guys, why don't we go inside again? It's getting cold you know." "But sensei!" Eight tiny Genoses protested. "We want to watch the sow!" To him, it was a true miracle how they always managed to talk in perfect unison. Must be a robot-thing or whatever. "It's snow, dude." Saitama opened the glass door and took a step inside. "And you can also watch it from the other side of the window. Now shoo."
The eight bots followed him inside obediently. Genos looked up from his laundry and gave Saitama a surprised look. The bald hero was very pleased with himself, it took him usually a lot more convincing (and help from Genos) to make the kids do something they didn't really want. But now they all gathered in front of the balcony window and sat down in a perfect row to watch the snow falling.
And maybe Saitama shouldn't have felt that safe. Again. Because it took his and Genos' full repertoire of convincing-techniques, two more hours and lastly a promise to go out and look at the snow tomorrow, to make the bots go to bed. Saitama sighed when he cuddled up next to Genos that night. He really hoped that the kids wouldn't wake them up right at sunrise, to make them keep their promise.
Spoiler alert: They did exactly that.