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Dallas Winston was always a tough guy. full send. He was untouchable, nothing could bother him. His dad not caring about his whereabouts, the cops always on his ass, buck calling him a lazy ass and telling him to get a job; nothing could bother Dallas Winston because he has no feelings.
However, when Johnny Cade and Ponyboy Curtis came a-knockin’ at buck’s that night he was certainly confused. And that confusion grew to concern the more they rambled about killing some soc and nearly dying themselves. but that was just a one off moment.
It didn’t mean Dally felt something for them. It just meant he needed to hide them since they came to him for help (not Darrel. That had made his chest feel funny). Somebody would’ve seen them running to Buck’s and the dots would’ve been connected and the cops would blame Dally. As always.
Then again, maybe it wasn’t a fluke. At the time he didn’t have the right word for it, but looking back, he was terrified when Johnny and ponyboy ran into that church. Beforehand Ponyboy in his gut told him to just force the boys into the car; he could make it up to them later. as he ran into the burning inferno he promised himself to listen to his gut from there on out.
Later, when he’s stuck in bed and his only company is a cranky old nurse, his gut told him to fight in the rumble. He was more than happy to listen, the thought of missing it was practically killing him. He always enjoyed a good rumble, there was something exhilarating about hitting a soc and seeing them stumble back. He made sure to beat on the socs that hurt Johnny and Ponyboy way back when. Not because he cared of course, but because Dally said he would and who is he to go back on his word?
At the end of the rumble, right when he should be celebrating with the rest of the greasers as the socs run away, his gut screams at him to go back to the hospital. Instinctively, he knows something’s wrong with Johnny. So he's not really surprised when Johnny can’t hardly say a word to him and Ponyboy.
He is surprised when Johnny blinks but never reopens his eyes. He feels a lot more than surprise. He can’t really name all the emotions he feels, but he does know one of them is anger and it’s a feeling he’s long since been acquainted with.
When he runs out the hospital, leaving Pony to stand there still in shock, his first thought is to leave. To skip town because he has a lot of emotions he’s not sure he can handle right now. Dally’s never felt so many emotions at once, he didn’t think he’s ever cared about someone as much as he cares about Johnny. And look where they got him.
So, he runs. Well, more accurately he drives, he gets in the car and drives about sixty miles an hour back to their neck of tulsa.
He hates this side of town. Tulsa’s the reason Johnny's dead. If it had been just a little bit kinder, if tulsa wasn’t so evil to kids just trying to survive, then maybe Johnny wouldn’t have needed to run away in the first place. Actually, if Tulsa wasn’t so evil, if it didn’t churn out wretched people, maybe Johnny would have had a loving family. That way they Dally wouldn’t have gotten so close to the kid and they could’ve avoided this whole mess in the first place.
The car jerks once. Twice. Three times before it gives up. Dallas blinks a few times to clear his vision, he’s not sure why he’s crying, or when he started, but he beats the steering wheel before getting out of the car.
Distantly, he can hear the whistle of a train. That’s it. If the car won’t take him away from this hell hole then he’ll just hop a train.
As he chases the train he has a thought. If he does run away to whatever town is next, who’s to say this won’t happen again? And besides, once upon a time, he promised Johnny he wouldn’t leave him. Dally’s never really been the kind of guy to keep promises, sure, but Johnny's not just anybody. He really did love the kid. As far as Dally’s concerned Johnny’s the only real family he’s ever had and vice versa.
He can’t hop that train. He can’t leave johnny (and johnny can’t leave him). Not like this.
As Dally reaches the tracks he finally slows down. He can see the train creeping closer as he takes his shirt off and throws it to the side. He's hot as all get out, but that’s to be expected with how hard and far he just ran.
The train’s closer now. He's staring at it from where he stands in the middle of the track. The conductor is blowing the hell out of the whistle trying to make him run, but dally’s sick of running. He refuses to keep doing it because at this point he’s just running in circles.
The train’s so close that Dally has to really focus to keep calm. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Despite his racing heart, he’s not scared, not really. He's about to get Johnny back, how can he be scared of that?
For a split second, over the train’s horn, Dally thinks he can hear Darry screaming his name. Dally sighs. That guy can never leave Dally alone, always in his business, trying to play the hero.
Dally opens his eyes and turns to face Darry — and no doubt the rest of the gang is right behind him — when suddenly he’s flying. He's flying and for a moment right before his life flashes before his eyes, before he starts to regret his life choices, before he can even think about being scared, he’s flying. And he feels freedom like he’s never felt before.
He wonders in that brief second if this freedom is how his ancestors felt before they were forced to America. He already knows they probably aren’t proud of him, but he hopes they’ll at least help him find Johnny when he gets there. He hopes his ancestors will take care of him and Johnny in the afterlife.
He hopes he’ll finally be able to stop running and fighting and just be.