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The Vampire and the Ghost

Summary:

Barok van Zieks is a vampire who swore to never drink human blood, shutting himself inside his mansion in an attempt to control his murderous urges.

One day, the wanderer Kazuma Asogi enters that apparently abandoned mansion, only to be killed within seconds of his arrival. Infuriated and incapable of passing away, he stays at the mansion as a ghost, making the life of his killer as difficult as it can be.

Or at least that had been his plan.

Notes:

AsoBaro Week Day 7: Free Day

Half of this idea came from a silly post I saw on Tumblr a long time ago, about a vampire haunted by a ghost. Unfortunately, I couldn't find it again to link to it.

The other half of my inspiration was The House in Fata Morgana (again). This game altered my brain chemistry in ways you can’t even imagine… I highly recommend it! :)

Work Text:

Kazuma woke up, only to realize that he was dead.

Not the best way to wake up, looking down at your own corpse resting on an unfamiliar bed, covered with a light sheet. Kazuma couldn’t see its face, but he knew deep down that it was him—or at least who he once was.

God, it felt awful… especially with how disoriented he was. He tried to move, and to his surprise, it was incredibly easy. There was no weight, no resistance… His entire being moved freely as if it was made of nothing but air.

Was he… a ghost? No, more importantly: why was he a ghost?

The memories were still hazy in his mind. There was a storm… Then he saw that abandoned mansion. He walked inside, and then… A sudden pain in his neck, and everything went black.

Kazuma instinctively brought his ghastly hand to his neck. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with it, but he still remembered the feeling of sharp fangs sinking into his flesh, first hot, then cold. His attacker too strong for him to push away. His energy being drained until there was nothing left.

A vampire…? Of course, he had heard stories about those perpetually thirsty creatures, but always believed them to be no more than that: scary tales to tell around a bonfire at night.

So, he had been killed by a vampire. Instead of sadness or despair, the emotion that filled Kazuma was an intense, burning anger. Really? Had a mythical creature just sucked him dry? Damn… He shouldn’t have been so careless. If only he had his sword in hand, that thing wouldn’t have stood a chance against him.

But it was too late to regret it now. Besides, he wasn’t completely gone from that world yet. He looked down at his own translucent body. A ghost… Did all dead people become ghosts, then? Or did being killed by a storybook creature turn you into another one?

Kazuma glanced around, then approached a small table. He reached for a vase on top of it, and his hand passed through it. He tried again, this time getting some slight resistance that made the vase shake. On the third try, he managed to push the vase off the table, making it fall with a loud cracking noise.

Interesting…

His experiment was interrupted by the sound of someone approaching. Instinctively, Kazuma retreated to the shadows, watching as a tall, pale man entered that dimly lit room, glancing around with suspicious red eyes.

“Is someone there?”

Kazuma’s ethereal body was filled with a mix of fear and anger. It was him… the cursed vampire who ended his life. The vampire looked around for a while longer, then shook his head, lowering his eyes to the body on the bed. He hesitated, then moved closer to it, raising his hand as if to lower that sheet, changing his mind at the last second.

“I shall bury you once the storm passes…” he muttered.

Kazuma couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Bury him? That vampire had killed him, and now that he was done feeding on his blood, he was talking about burying him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. First of all, he wasn’t supposed to be dead… He just wanted to get out of that storm. He just wanted to…

His anger grew and grew, and as it did, a light rumble filled the bedroom. The table shook, and so did the desk, along with everything above it. The vampire stepped back toward the door, once again glancing around the bedroom.

“Who is there?”

Someone you’ll regret having killed, thought Kazuma. But he didn’t reveal himself—he didn’t even know if he could—part of him enjoying seeing the panic grow in that vampire’s red eyes.

Maybe he could do nothing to erase his death, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t get his revenge, one way or the other. All he had to do was find out what exactly he was capable of doing in that new form.

 


 

Barok had killed a man.

He knew that was an inevitable thing after becoming a bloodthirsty vampire. Yet, he had hoped that the day would never come.

That was why he had locked himself inside that forsaken mansion where his ancestors had once lived, isolating himself from the world for God knew how many years. The thirst tortured him, but he managed to keep it under control as long as he stayed alone in that place. As long as no human crossed his path, nothing bad would happen.

But then, that man walked inside, drenched from the rain. His smell and the warmth that radiated from his skin were too much for Barok to resist… Before he knew it, he already had his fangs in the man’s neck, the sweetness of his blood spreading throughout Barok’s entire body. As soon as he understood what he was doing, Barok moved away, but it was already too late: the man’s heart had already stopped beating.

As blissful as those few instants of quenching his thirst had been, the guilt that followed them was worse than anything he had ever felt before. He tried to wake that man up, but knew his efforts were for nothing. Who was he? Did he have a family? Loved ones waiting for him? Those answers were forever lost to him, and Barok couldn’t tell if not knowing made him feel better or worse.

All he could do now was give that man a proper burial… He deserved some dignity after such a sudden end. As soon as the storm ended, Barok would take care of it.

Barok carried the body upstairs, laying it on a bed and covering it with a sheet. He muttered a prayer, though he doubted God would listen to someone like him. Then, he left the bedroom, ready to face his guilt and self-loathing for as long as that storm lasted.

Or so he thought…

Strange things started to happen after that man’s death. At first, Barok thought it was nothing but the wind and his guilty consciousness playing tricks on him, but no matter where he went, or how tightly closed the windows and curtains were, the room shook around him, making things fall from every surface with loud noises. He tried to rest, but the trembling of the bed wouldn’t allow him to. He tried to read his old books, but no matter how many times he lit the candles, a sudden wind always blew the flames off. As he walked down a corridor, suddenly a window opened beside him, inviting the storm inside. With a low grunt, Barok closed it again, only for another one to open, and then another, until both he and the corridor were drenched.

What in hell was happening? Was that God’s will, punishing Barok for his sins? If so, he had to admit, he always imagined His Divine Wrath as something more destructive and less aggravating.

But he didn’t complain, enduring his punishment until he was exhausted of attempting to close his windows. He walked to the living room, falling on the couch, as far as he could from any windows. For a single minute, there was nothing but silence, and Barok let out a long, tired sigh—which was interrupted by the sound of his entire bookcase coming down. Barok jolted up, and for a moment his undead heart seemed to jump back into life.

“Dear God!” he yelled. “Can’t you allow me to rest for a single minute?”

A low, amused laugh filled the room, chilling Barok’s body.

“Who is there?” he asked, glancing around. “Show yourself!”

The laugh didn’t stop. Barok tried to follow it, but couldn’t find its origin. It seemed to move all around, circling him, provoking him into a fight he couldn’t possibly win. As it did, it brought everything to the ground, from his chairs to the trinkets above the fireplace, making his books fly from one side of the room to the other, objects banging and crashing against the walls, curtains dancing as if possessed.

Was he going mad with guilt?

Barok gritted his teeth, falling down on his hands and knees. “Forgive me…”

For a moment, the laughter stopped. Barok shut his eyes.

“I did not mean to kill him…” he added in a low voice. “I never meant to harm anyone…”

The temperature inside the room seemed to drop, silence still reigning. Was it over?

“You should have thought about it before you killed me.”

That voice made Barok open his eyes, raising his head. Before him was that man… The one he had killed. Alive…? No, there was something amiss. Something he had only seen in books before that day, and that, like vampires, he had once believed to be nothing but fictional beings.

“A ghost?” he said.

The semi-translucent man smirked, an angry glint in his eyes. “So, you can see me now…”

Barok didn’t know what to say. Was he seeing things? That couldn’t be real… He had seen death before, but it never left anything behind. And yet, that man… Even if he was an illusion, the things he did to Barok’s living room certainly were not.

“What do you want from me?” asked Barok.

The ghost narrowed his eyes. “What do I want?” He approached Barok, staring at him from a close distance. “What do I want? I want my life back, you son of a bitch!”

Barok pressed his lips together, lowering his gaze. “Believe me, I would give it to you if it was within my power to do so.”

“Then you shouldn’t have killed me to begin with!”

His loud voice made the room tremble.

“I apologize,” said Barok. “I will bury your body once the storm—”

“My bloodless body that should have lived at least another fifty years if you hadn’t sucked it dry!”

Barok sighed. “I know. And I apologize.”

“I don’t want your apologies!”

“What do you want from me, then?”

For a moment, the ghost didn’t seem to find an answer. Then, he glared at Barok, once again full of rage.

“I want you to regret it for the rest of your existence.”

Saying that, the ghost once again disappeared. Barok stayed very still for a few seconds, waiting for something to happen, but it never did. Once he finally relaxed, a book hit the side of his head, making him lose his balance and fall on his behind. The ghost laughed, starting his spectacle once again, turning Barok’s home into more of a mess than it already was.

Barok could do nothing but watch it, suddenly regretting his crimes much more than before.

 


 

Kazuma did as he said he would, pestering the vampire for the entire night, and then the following morning. It was even better with the sun high in the sky, so he could bring the sunlight in by opening the windows, making the vampire shriek away from it every time he caught him by surprise.

“I always wondered if vampires really turn into ashes under the sun…” said Kazuma.

The vampire glared at him. “So, you intend to kill me as a revenge?”

“Nah… I won’t make this so easy for you.”

The vampire grunted, and the annoyed sound was pleasant to Kazuma’s ears. He followed the vampire around the house, without giving him a single moment of rest. When he wasn’t throwing things around, he laughed in the most creepy way he could, and when he got tired of laughing, he started provoking him with his words instead. It was a little tiring, to be honest, but he wasn’t about to admit defeat so soon.

When evening finally came, the vampire walked to the bedroom where Kazuma’s body was resting. That made Kazuma stop his act for a moment, unsure of what to expect.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

The vampire didn’t answer, approaching his body. He lifted it in his arms, walking down the stairs.

“Where are you taking me?” asked Kazuma.

“I said I would bury you once the storm ended.”

The thought filled Kazuma with dread. He floated in front of the vampire, in an attempt to block his way to the entrance.

“Stop!”

The vampire looked at him. “Why? Would you rather slowly rot in that bedroom?”

Of course not… But the thought of being laid to rest beneath the earth was…

“If you do this, there will be no going back for me.”

The vampire’s expression softened into something that almost seemed like pity. “There already is no going back… I simply want to grant you some dignity.” He paused, lowering his gaze. “It is the least I owe you.”

Kazuma said nothing.

“I am truly sorry for what I did,” the vampire continued. “If tormenting me brings you at least some peace, feel free to do it for as long as you need to. But, for now…”

He moved to the side, reaching toward the door behind Kazuma while trying not to go through him.

“Please, allow me to do at least this much.”

Kazuma stayed quiet as the vampire walked outside. A bitter feeling took him whole, and soon he followed the other.

“How am I supposed to enjoy it like this?” he yelled. “What kind of revenge would it be if you just… accept it?”

The vampire looked at him, silent.

“No matter how many times I break your things, or wake you up when you’re about to fall asleep… It won’t change what you did to me! You can endure this until I’m tired because you have an eternity in front of you, but I… No matter what I do, I’ll stay dead. Because of you!”

His entire being seemed to twist painfully. He wanted to cry, but that ethereal body wouldn’t allow him to. Instead of answering, the vampire walked away with his body to the back of that mansion. Kazuma quietly followed, watching as the vampire carefully lay his body on the grass, then rolled up his sleeves, starting to dig a hole. After a long time, he was done with his work. He lifted Kazuma’s body, then lay it inside that hole.

“Do you want to see it one last time?”

Kazuma knew the question was directed at him, but didn’t answer. After giving him a minute to change his mind, the vampire started to return the dirt to the hole, until it was completely covered.

“I will arrange a tombstone later,” said the vampire. “What name should I write on it?”

“Don’t bother with it.”

“What do you want me to do, then? I could send a letter to your family and loved ones, so they know what happened to you.”

“No need… There’s no one who would miss me.”

“I see.”

Saying those words out loud stung more than Kazuma had thought possible. The vampire brought his shovel to the small cabin at the back of the garden, then walked back inside without a word, leaving Kazuma there, alone.

He hesitated, then approached his grave, looking at it for a long while. It felt so wrong, to be disconnected from his body in such a way. It made Kazuma wonder…

Slowly, he lay down over that grave, allowing himself to sink down into the earth until he reached his body. Part of him hoped it would bring an end to it all… Make him finally go to wherever he should be. But instead, being inside himself felt like being trapped inside something too small for him. He tried to endure it, closing his eyes, staying very still.

It was uncomfortable… Almost painful. He couldn’t feel anything he touched anymore, so it would be nice if he could feel nothing at all. But instead, there he was… His entire being made of nothing but anger, regret, and pain.

It would be good if he could just disappear… Like all the dead did, without leaving any trace behind. He just wanted to rest…

Kazuma stayed there for a long while, until he could no longer endure that feeling. He surfaced from the earth, being greeted by the rising sun. He could go back inside and pester that vampire, but… For some reason, the idea didn’t sound as appealing as it did the previous day.

But where else was he supposed to go? Wander aimlessly for eternity? Or go back inside his grave, and not leave it this time?

He couldn’t bring himself to do either… So, instead, he entered the vampire’s mansion, quietly making his way to the bedroom where his body had been resting until hours before. The bed was empty, so Kazuma lay on it, imagining the soft mattress under him more than feeling it. He closed his eyes, and while being there didn’t make things better, it was still less painful than trying to fit inside his dead body.

 


 

When Barok entered that bedroom again, he was surprised to find the ghost there. He stood still at the door, unsure of what to do, until the ghost turned his face to him.

“You are still here…” said Barok.

The ghost forced a half-smile. “Did you think I was gone?”

“I did…”

Barok had hoped that, by giving that man a proper burial, he would be able to find peace. Looking back, however, he could tell that he had been too optimistic.

“Did you miss all the noise?” The ghost let out a small, bitter chuckle. “Don’t worry… I don’t plan to do that again.”

Barok simply looked at him for a while. “If you don’t intend to get your revenge on me, why are you still here?”

“That’s what I want to know.” The ghost lowered his head. “I never chose to stay, I just… I’m just here, and I don’t know how to leave.”

Oh… Such a possibility hadn’t crossed Barok’s mind. The ghost observed him for a while, but as the seconds passed in silence, he turned his face away. Barok couldn’t help but sympathize with him: he knew how it felt to be trapped in a miserable existence. Besides, even if unwillingly, he was still the one who did it to that man.

“You are welcome to stay here until… Until you are ready to go,” he said.

The ghost looked at him again, seeming hesitant. “Aren’t you angry at me?”

“I brought this upon myself.”

“If you regret it so much, then why did you kill me?”

“I truly didn’t mean to.” Barok leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms. “I spent decades locked inside this place so I would not be able to hurt anyone. I thought I could control my thirst, but… when you came in, all my self-control escaped me, and before I knew it…”

He stopped talking, not wanting to relive that horrible moment. The feeling of watching someone’s life fading, and knowing it had been his fault… No matter how long he lived, he would never be able to forget it.

“I thought this was an abandoned place,” muttered the ghost.

“I suppose it looks like one.” Barok paused, continuing in a lower voice. “I tried to revive you in every way I could, but it was too late already. I am truly sorry.”

The ghost observed him silently for a long while.

“Did you kill anyone else before me?” he asked.

“No.”

The ghost nodded, lowering his gaze. “You really did what you could to avoid this, didn’t you?” He smiled bitterly. “Now I feel bad for terrorizing you like that.”

“I understand your anger.”

He didn’t respond for a long while. Then, he raised his eyes, meeting Barok’s gaze.

“Could you tell me your name?”

“Barok van Zieks. Though the van Zieks name has been long forgotten, I suppose.” Barok hesitated briefly. “And yours? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Kazuma Asogi. But I was shunned from the Asogi clan, so… Just Kazuma, I guess.”

Barok nodded, choosing not to question him on that subject. “Why did you come here from all places?”

“No particular reason…” Kazuma shrugged. “I had nowhere else to go, so I just kept walking until I ended up at your door.”

“What terrible luck.”

Kazuma smiled half-heartedly. “At least I escaped the storm.”

Barok knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but didn’t know how to respond.

“If there is anything you need,” he said, “please let me know.”

Kazuma shook his head. “I don’t think there’s much something like me needs, but… thank you for offering.”

With a small nod, Barok stepped out of the bedroom, certain that his presence wasn’t a welcome one.

 


 

Kazuma wasn’t sure of how much time he spent in that bedroom, feeling miserable about himself. Barok had come to check on him a few times, but never for more than a minute, and Kazuma wasn’t bold enough to start a conversation with his killer—though his anger toward that man had long cooled down, reduced to a dull pain in his chest.

He tried to distract himself by taking walks around the mansion while Barok was asleep in his bedroom in the morning, but, at some point, the silence felt like enough to make him lose his mind. So, gathering his courage, Kazuma approached that vampire that evening, as he read a book on the couch. Barok soon noticed his approach, slightly furrowing his brow.

“How unusual to see you out of your bedroom,” he said.

Kazuma shrugged. “I guess even a ghost can get bored.”

“I see.”

Barok didn’t say anything else, lowering his gaze back to those pages. Kazuma looked at it over Barok’s shoulder.

“What are you reading?” he asked.

“Rereading…” Barok clarified, glancing at him. “A tale of adventure in the high seas.”

“Hm…” Kazuma considered it for a moment. “Can you read it out loud?”

“No.”

Kazuma grunted, frustrated. “Come on… Do you know how bored I am?”

Barok closed the book, looking at him with an intrigued expression. “Now that I think about it… Couldn’t you use your powers to read?”

“Do you think I didn’t try?” Kazuma gestured toward the closed book. “But turning the pages is difficult… It’s much easier to just throw things around.”

“I see.” Barok thought for a moment. “I can hold the book open for you, if you want.”

“Better than nothing, I guess…”

“Very well…” Barok opened the book again. “Oh, but we should start from the beginning.”

“That would be nice. You don’t mind it?”

“No, I’ve already read this one at least five times.”

Kazuma widened his eyes, surprised. “You must really like it, then.”

“I’ve read most books I own many times,” said Barok. “But yes, I do enjoy this one quite a bit.”

Those words caught Kazuma’s attention. Just how long have you been living here, on your own? That question danced at the tip of Kazuma’s tongue for a while, but he couldn’t bring himself to actually ask it out loud.

 


 

It didn’t take long for Barok to get used to Kazuma’s company. Turns out, when he wasn’t throwing things around, he was a quite pleasant conversation partner.

It had been a long time since he last interacted so much with another person. And, while he wasn’t happy with the circumstances of their meeting, he caught himself enjoying that new presence in his, otherwise, dull days.

Was that how lonely he had been? He hadn’t realized it until he finally had someone else to share that mansion with.

“Why are you staring at nothing like that?” Kazuma’s voice brought him back to reality. “You’re freaking me out.”

“Apologies… I was distracted.” Barok looked at him. “Since when have you been here?”

“It’s not like I have anything better to do than following you around.”

“I see.”

Kazuma observed him for a moment, slightly furrowing his brow. “Is something bothering you?”

Was that concern in his voice? Barok could barely remember the last time someone was worried about him.

“No,” he said. “Quite the contrary.”

“Is that so?” Kazuma smiled, interested. “Something good happened, then?”

“Who knows…”

“Come on, tell me… I’m so bored.”

Barok looked at him, unable to hold back a slight smile. “I just thought that it has been a long while since I’ve talked so much.”

His words made Kazuma laugh. “Do you miss the peace?”

“I would not call it peace. It was…” He struggled for a moment to find the right words. “Pure nothingness. And no matter how much time passed, I could never get used to it.”

The amused smile faded from Kazuma’s face. He observed Barok for a while, in a silence that almost felt hesitant.

“How did it happen?” he asked. “How did you…”

“Become a vampire?”

Kazuma nodded. Barok lowered his eyes: that wasn’t a pleasant memory, but… He had no reason to hide the truth from Kazuma.

“My brother was turned before me,” he said. “I never had the chance to learn how, or by who. He left our home and came to this place. I searched for him, and eventually learned about this old mansion owned by my family…” He paused, finding it difficult to continue. “He attacked me when I walked inside, the same way I attacked you.”

Kazuma said nothing, just looking at him. Barok didn’t look at his face, unsure if he wanted to see the expression it carried.

“I didn’t die, though,” he continued. “He… turned me into this abomination before I died. He watched over me during my transformation, and would not stop apologizing. I was terrified and in so much pain… I cursed him for what he did to me. Said the most terrible words that ever left my mouth… And yet, he just kept apologizing again and again.” A brief, heavy pause. “The next morning, he left this house, walking under the sun without saying goodbye.”

Remembering it was still painful. Barok had hated himself for long years for the things he said to his brother, but eventually, the pain became dull—still present, but more cold than destructive.

“I’m sorry,” said Kazuma.

Barok acknowledged his words with a nod. “I will never forgive him for abandoning me. But I will also never forgive myself for the things I said to him… I should have known how much he was suffering, and now… I’ve done something equally terrible as well.”

“But you understand that he never meant to hurt you, right?”

“I do.”

“Then, you must know how I feel about you.”

Barok looked at him, slightly surprised. He didn’t know how to respond to such words… Especially when they came from someone he hurt so much.

“I wish you would hate me,” he said, finally. “It would make things easier for us both.”

“I don’t think it would,” Kazuma answered. “I know how it feels to be filled with nothing but anger, and… Honestly? I like this much better.”

How weird, for the person whose death he caused to try to comfort him that way. Those things made it difficult for Barok not to feel affection for that man: the only company he had in such a long time.

“I wonder…” he said. “How would things be if we had met as humans.”

Kazuma smiled. “Maybe we would have been friends.”

His words seemed to warm his undead heart. “Perhaps we would.”

 


 

A few days later, Kazuma approached Barok with something on his mind.

“Do you want to go for a walk with me?” he asked.

The invitation seemed to surprise Barok. “A walk?”

Kazuma shrugged. “Well, you will walk at least.”

Barok seemed uncomfortable with the idea. “I should not get far from this place.”

“I know,” Kazuma reassured him. “We won’t need to go far, anyway… At least I don’t think so. I just want to check something.”

“What exactly?”

“How far I can go from here.”

Barok just looked at him, confused.

“The stories say ghosts can’t leave the place where they died,” Kazuma explained. “I just wanted to see if that’s true, and… If it is, where is the farthest I can go from here.”

“I see.” Barok thought for a moment, finally nodding. “Very well, a walk sounds like a pleasant way to pass the time.”

Kazuma hummed, pleased. But, the truth was, part of him was a little scared to do that. He didn’t tell Barok, but… the idea of being inside an invisible cage was a frightening one. That was why it took him so long to make that decision.

However, having Barok with him made things easier.

They left the mansion, slowly crossing the garden, reaching the front gate. Kazuma hesitated, then crossed that gate: part of him thought that would be his limit. But it wasn’t, and he could keep going.

He smiled to himself, starting to believe people had just come up with those limitations for the stories. As soon as they approached the nearby woods, however, something seemed to hold Kazuma back, like an invisible force keeping him from going farther.

“I don’t think I can go farther than this,” he said.

It was more than he expected… But still not much. He tried to hide his disappointment.

“So,” said Barok, “you truly are bound to your dying place.”

Kazuma offered him a smile. “At least I’m not alone.”

He tried to sound cheerful, as if it didn’t really bother him. But Barok, who had acted as usual during that walk, suddenly seemed devastated.

“It’s fine,” said Kazuma. “At least now I know the answer.”

“Of course it isn’t fine,” answered Barok in a low, grave voice. “You are trapped in this place.”

The word trapped weighed inside Kazuma. “Well… we both are, in a way.”

“I could leave if I so chose. But now, because of me…” Barok shut his eyes, gritting his teeth. “If only I controlled myself that day… You would still have your life and your freedom.”

It had been so long since they last talked about the day Barok killed him that Kazuma didn’t think his guilt was still so heavy. He once had wanted that man to regret what he did, but now… Seeing him like that was anything but satisfying.

“It’s alright, Barok,” he said. “We can’t change what happened, so… there’s little sense in blaming yourself for it.”

Barok didn’t respond. He crouched down, lowering his head and bringing a hand to his face, staying like that for a long while. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded weaker than Kazuma had ever heard it.

“I am so very sorry.”

His voice expressed what his words barely could. Kazuma wanted to reassure him, but also knew whatever words came from his mouth would sound half-hearted at that moment. Not because he resented Barok, but because… He too wished things could have been different.

He moved closer to Barok, lowering himself by his side.

“You know, Barok…” he said. “Maybe, if we had the chance to talk when I was alive… I would have chosen to stay.”

Barok shook his head, in clear disbelief. “Why would you?”

“I had nowhere else to go. No one waiting for me. If I met a nice gentleman, and he invited me to stay with him, maybe I would.”

“You would still have your free will in this case. Now, you are trapped—”

“Barok, stop this…” Kazuma interrupted him in a patient voice. “Nothing good will come from blaming yourself.”

Barok raised his head, looking at him. “I cannot stop. Because I care about you. And knowing that I did something so terrible, so irreparable…” His voice failed briefly. “Forgive me… I would do anything to undo this.”

Kazuma could do nothing but observe him for a moment. He never wished to embrace someone as much when he was still alive.

“Barok,” he said, “listen… There is no way to undo what happened, but seeing you like this… It doesn’t make me feel better. I don’t want you to suffer over my death. Because I care about you too. And, even if I could, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now.”

Barok seemed unsure. “Are you saying this to comfort me?”

“I mean it. It has been a long while since I last…” Kazuma struggled with the words briefly. “Well, since I didn’t feel all alone.” He offered Barok a slight smile. “I am fine now… I really am.”

“Even if what you say is true…” Barok paused, meeting Kazuma’s gaze. “I will do everything I can to compensate… Everything you ask of me.”

“Then, stop torturing yourself over this. It really hurts to hear these things, you know?”

Barok stayed silent for a while, then finally nodded.

“We should go back now,” said Kazuma. “It feels weird to be so far from home.”

“As you wish, then.”

Barok stood up, slowly making his way back while Kazuma accompanied him closely.

“You know, Barok,” said Kazuma as they walked inside the mansion. “You may not believe me, but… I’m happy here.”

His words made Barok look at him. “Are you truly?”

“More than I have been in a long while.”

He wasn’t lying: he did wish things were different, but it didn’t change the simple fact that being with Barok made him happy.

 


 

Months passed, and slowly the heavy guilt in Barok’s chest became more bearable—never disappearing, but no longer taking his entire mind. In its place, sweeter feelings started to grow, most of which directed at that man who became a constant presence in his life.

Kazuma had once told him that he was happy in that place. At the time, Barok doubted his words… But now, looking at him, he could believe there was truth to them. Not only that, but he was happy too… Just by being with him in that old place, his life felt so much brighter.

It also made Barok’s affection for that man grow deeper with every passing day.

As a human, he had been too focused on his lessons and sword practices to think much about romance—he had never truly desired someone romantically, either. Maybe that was why it took him so long to notice that change: he only realized he was in love when the feeling already felt too big to stay inside his chest.

It was a lovely night when it inevitably happened. They went outside for a bit, to look at the starry sky. Maybe the pretty sight influenced his mind, but the moment his eyes moved from the stars to Kazuma’s face, the words simply left his mouth.

“I have feelings for you.”

Kazuma simply stared at him, speechless. He then forced a small laugh. “Are you… confessing your love for me?”

“I…”

Before Barok could find the words to explain himself, however, Kazuma quickly added.

“Sorry…” He brought a hand to his mouth, looking away. “I got nervous and blurted that out.”

Despite the embarrassment of suddenly turning his feelings into words, seeing that expression on Kazuma’s face—probably the closest he could get to blushing—encouraged him to continue.

“I might be, though,” said Barok.

Kazuma looked at him, his expression slowly softening into a smile. “In that case, I might have feelings for you too.”

Excitement burned in Barok’s chest. “Like love?”

“I brought this upon myself, didn’t I?” Kazuma laughed, then met Barok’s gaze. “Yes… like love.”

For a moment, they simply looked at each other, excitement, affection, and anticipation taking the form of smiles on their faces. Soon, however, the complications of their situation started to dawn on them.

“What are we supposed to do now?” asked Kazuma with a nervous laugh.

“I am not sure.”

No matter how much Barok wanted to hold him close and kiss his lips, those were things they simply couldn’t do. Kazuma lowered his eyes, slightly furrowing his brow, thinking.

“If I can move objects, maybe I can…” He looked at Barok. “Raise your hand.”

Barok did as he said. Kazuma placed his hand over his, closing his eyes with a focused expression. Barok could tell Kazuma was doing what he could, but he was unable to feel anything but a faint coldness.

Finally, Kazuma lowered his hand with a defeated sigh. “I can’t do more than this.”

It was disappointing that they couldn’t touch, but Barok responded with a reassuring smile. He still couldn’t help but wish there was a way to do it—just a little, even if it wasn’t perfect.

Moved by that wish, Barok raised his hand, lightly touching Kazuma’s face with his fingertips. There was nothing warm or soft to that touch, just a slight, cold tingling on his skin, like touching the surface of a river, but much fainter.

Still, all they could do was pretend. Kazuma closed his eyes, placing his hand over Barok’s, not close enough to touch, but almost. They stayed like that for a while, then he opened his eyes again.

They moved closer. Kazuma placed his hand over Barok’s waist, raising his other one. Barok mimicked the gesture, bringing his palm close to Kazuma’s. There was no feeling but a slight coldness where their hands met. He then raised his other arm, placing it around Kazuma’s waist, immediately feeling like he had submersed it in water.

Kazuma laughed. “Too tight…”

“Pardon me.”

Barok readjusted that distance, and this time it felt right. He closed his eyes, imagining for a moment the two of them as living humans, capable of feeling the warmth of each other’s skin. When he opened his eyes again, however, they were still the same—which wasn’t a bad thing.

“This feels good,” said Kazuma.

Barok couldn’t tell how much of those words was Kazuma still pretending, and how much was him telling the truth—it was the same for himself.

“It does,” he agreed in a low voice.

No matter how much he longed for something different, reality wouldn’t change: he was a monster, and Kazuma was no longer alive. They would never be able to live a normal romance, like most people did, or do things most couples took for granted, like holding each other’s hand.

But even if he had to pretend like that for eternity, it didn’t matter. He could live with that bittersweet feeling, as long as he had Kazuma with him.

 


 

The days after they confessed their love for each other were the sweetest of Kazuma’s life. There was much they couldn’t do together, but just being close to each other, knowing that his feelings were returned by the man he loved… It was enough. More than enough.

It was strange that, in death, he found the happiness he had long lost in life.

They spent most of that night reading together, which was one of Kazuma’s favorite things to do. They always talked about the books they read, and he could tell sometimes Barok had to make a huge effort not to spoil the bigger twists for him.

It would be nice if they could get some new books… He had no idea how, though. It was hard to imagine a bookseller accidentally coming across that mansion, and if one did, there would be more negative consequences to it than positive ones.

Well… They still had quite a few books to read together, at least. Despite having read that entire collection, Barok seemed to enjoy that time together as much as he did—which was his favorite part of it all.

“I should rest for the day,” said Barok as the sun was about to rise.

“Alright.” Kazuma grinned. “Can I watch you sleep?”

“No.”

“Fine…” Kazuma forced an annoyed groan. “I guess I’ll watch the grass grow, then.”

Barok smiled, then brought a hand to his face in that almost touch. Kazuma responded by bringing his hand over Barok’s.

When Barok went upstairs, Kazuma crossed the front door outside. He often spent time outside when Barok was asleep. There wasn’t much he could do, but it was much easier to distract himself there than inside the mansion.

He moved around the building for a while, then made his way toward the gate—he rarely moved beyond it. Something about it made him feel like he was leaving Barok behind… A silly thought, since he literally couldn’t leave that place, but… It still bothered him. Barok avoided talking much about his years alone in that place, but Kazuma could tell how much they had affected him.

He looked much happier now than when Kazuma first met him… And thinking that he might be the reason for that change almost made Kazuma feel alive again.

His thoughts were interrupted abruptly when something like an invisible barrier stopped him from going farther. Kazuma instinctively tried again, only for the same thing to happen.

That… had never happened before. Hesitantly, he raised his hand, trying to extend it. He couldn’t… It just wouldn’t go past that point, no matter how hard he tried. Kazuma stood in place, unsure of what to think. He should be able to go farther than that gate… Why couldn’t he even reach it now?

A thousand bad thoughts flooded his mind at once, and Kazuma had to make an effort to push them all away. No… He was just thinking too much. It meant nothing… It was all just a random strange thing that happened, it didn’t have to mean anything else.

Maybe tomorrow things would go back to normal.

 


 

Something was very wrong with Kazuma those past few days, and the worst part was that Barok had no idea what it was.

It started with a few forced smiles, and a worried expression that disappeared as soon as he noticed Barok’s gaze. Then, at some point, he stopped going outside, spending most of his time in the living room.

Lately, those strange behaviors had become even clearer. Barok sometimes caught him gazing distantly, as if his mind wasn’t fully there, and Barok would need to call his name a few times before he finally noticed his presence. He also moved away from Barok whenever he got too close, almost as if scared of his touch.

Every time Barok asked him what was wrong, Kazuma changed the subject, his reactions going from dismissive to slightly annoyed. It was so different from usual that he didn’t know what to think.

That night, however, the answer to his question was a long, heavy silence, followed by a low, defeated voice.

“There is something I need to tell you, but… I don’t know how.”

Not knowing the reason behind those words was enough to make him almost panic, but Barok did his best to stay calm, at least on the surface. “You can take your time.”

He tried to sound comforting, but his words only made Kazuma look worse.

“I don’t have time.”

Those words seemed to freeze Barok’s entire body. Kazuma looked at him, hesitant to continue.

“Last week, I couldn’t go outside,” he said. “Now, I can’t even reach upstairs anymore. Soon, I think I won’t be able to even leave the entrance.”

Hearing that filled Barok’s chest with dread. “What are you trying to say?”

Kazuma stayed silent for a moment. “Give me your hand.”

Barok did as he said. Kazuma placed his hand over his, making them overlap.

He expected to feel that gentle coldness, which he often compared to a river in his mind. However, what he felt wasn’t cold… It wasn’t anything. It was like nothing was there.

“Barok…” he muttered. “I think I’m fading away.”

His words made the world crumble beneath Barok’s feet.

 


 

With each passing day, Kazuma’s existence became smaller. Not even a week later, he was confined to that small space where he had breathed for the last time.

But it made sense, didn’t it? If he was a vengeful spirit, then his entire existence depended on something he stopped feeling long ago. It was so unfair, though… He had asked for the end so many times before, and was never heard. But now… Now that he finally found happiness, why was it being taken away from him too?

Barok refused to leave his side. Even when he was clearly exhausted, he still stayed with him, talking with him, and reading to him… Making him feel more loved than ever before. The worst part was knowing he would be leaving that man alone again—it hurt to even think about it.

As he stayed there, inside his invisible coffin, he felt a desperate need to cry, despite knowing he wasn’t able to: he was terrified, sad, angry, all at the same time…

“I don’t want to go…” he said. “I don’t want to leave you alone… I don’t want this to end…”

Barok had kept a strong exterior for his sake during those last few days. At that moment, however, Kazuma could see a glimpse of what truly was behind his mask. He brought his hands as close as he could to Kazuma’s face. It was so frustrating… Even in the end, he couldn’t hug the one person he didn’t want to leave behind.

“One day,” said Barok, “I will find you again. No matter how long it takes… I will find you.”

Kazuma looked into his eyes. “Do you promise…?”

“I do.”

That possibility filled his chest with something warm: hope. If he had to disappear, then he wanted to go before that feeling turned into sadness again.

“Barok…” he said. “Thank you.”

He couldn’t hold on any longer, so he simply gave in, allowing what was still left of him to completely fade away from that world.

 


 

When Kazuma faded from his life, it was like losing the sun a second time. He thought he had gotten used to being alone, but after catching a glimpse of what a life beside a loved one felt like, the once habitual loneliness became too much for him to bear.

More than once, he considered doing like his brother and walking into the sunlight. He couldn’t bring himself to actually do it, though… Staying in that place, so full of happy memories, was too painful; yet, the thought of leaving was even worse. So, he stayed there, day after day, night after night, waiting.

He waited, and waited, and waited… An eternity seemed to pass, and yet, he continued to wait. Time made him more monstrous than ever before: little more than a creature that clung to the shadows.

One day, a group of travelers inevitably found him, and in his state of uncontrollable thirst, Barok attacked them. He killed two, but the others managed to run away. A few days later, they returned in a much larger number, armed and furious.

Barok didn’t fight back, not even when they set his home ablaze and got him surrounded. He just closed his eyes, waiting.

As the silver blade pierced his undead heart, all Barok could think was ’finally’.

 


 

Since he was a child, Barok had strange dreams, which only became more frequent and detailed the older he became. By the time he was eighteen, they were as clear as a movie in his mind.

He saw himself, lonely and sorrowful in a forsaken place; he felt an endless thirst he was terrified to quench, and a loneliness so deep it seemed about to consume him whole. He saw quiet days, and he saw days worse than anything he could even imagine; and he saw the moment of his death, all alone in that dark place.

But he also saw a brief time of happiness among it all. There had been someone by his side. Someone whose presence had been his greatest treasure; someone whose smile filled his chest with warmth; someone he longed to touch, but never could. Someone he missed terribly, despite not even remembering his face or name.

Was he just imagining things? Part of him thought so… But he couldn’t quite believe it. It felt too real… Too close to his heart.

Barok never told it to anyone, though. Instead, he focused on his studies, so he would be able to follow his older brother’s steps and become a prosecutor. Klint gave him all the support he could have asked for, and Barok wasn’t willing to disappoint him.

So, when he passed an exam to go to college abroad, he couldn’t be happier. Klint was a mix of pride, joy, worry, and tears, but he still helped Barok make all the preparations he needed to move to Japan. Luckily, Klint had an old friend who lived there, and who offered for Barok to stay in his home. Apparently, he had a son who would start studying law that year as well, and thought they would be good company for each other.

It was scary to leave his homeland like that, but he couldn’t deny that part of him was excited about such a big change.

When he finally arrived in Japan, Barok met his brother’s friend at the airport. Genshin seemed like a good man… He even paid him a coffee and gave him a lift to his new place.

“I need to be going now,” said Genshin. “But my son should be inside the house, he will help you settle in.”

Barok thanked him, then faced the place that would be his home for the following years. His heart pounded, and he had to take a few breaths to calm down: hopefully, Genshin’s son would be as welcoming as his father.

He unlocked the door with the key Genshin gave him, stepping inside. The first thing he saw was a gray cat, who looked at him curiously, letting out a small meow. Cute… Before he could take another step in, however, a white dot zoomed across the place, bumping against Barok’s luggage, making it fall, startling both him and the gray cat with the noise.

“I heard that, you little shit!” Came a voice from inside the house. “I told you I’d make cat stew next time you made a mess!”

The black and white cat started to lick his own paw, not seeming to take that threat very seriously; the gray one simply looked at him, as if saying “Look at what you did”.

“I warned you…” That person continued in a fake angry voice. “I’ll throw you in a pot with some potatoes and carrots, and…”

He went silent as soon as he noticed Barok standing at the entrance.

“Uh… Good afternoon?” said Barok.

“Ah, hi…” He looked away, seeming a little embarrassed. “Sorry about that… He’s being impossible today. You’re Klint van Zieks’ brother, right? My father said you’d arrive today.”

But Barok couldn’t pay attention to any of those words, staring at the face of the young man before him. He had seen it before… Not in person, not in a picture… But, somehow, he knew he had seen it a long, long time ago.

Moved by something stronger than himself, Barok crossed the distance between them, grabbing his hand between his both. His heart jumped, a feeling like electricity running through his entire being.

“Kazuma?”

That young man looked at his face, wide-eyed. Barok wasn’t sure why he knew that name, why that face seemed so familiar, or why he suddenly had the urge to cry from joy…

“Barok…?”

And yet, deep down, he knew he had just fulfilled an important promise.

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