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Jim would consider himself a very lucky man.
He has a wonderful girlfriend.
She's funny, she's beautiful, she laughs at his jokes. She loves him like no one else has. No matter how long they've dated, no matter how long he's known her, she still manages to make his stomach flip when she smiles at him.
And to top it all off, she wasn't one to judge.
He came to Pam one day, his head having that strange blankety feeling again.
He described it to her as well as his mind would let him. Explained how he felt impossibly small, how his fingers would fumble and his head would quiet down.
His cheeks flushed pink when he described how much he craved being held when his head got like that. How he would sometimes catch his thumb drifting towards his mouth. He told her how he was worried, concerned there was something wrong with him.
His emotions would run high when he was like that, he told her how the smallest things would bring him to tears, how he tripped over his own feet and felt like he needed to hide when someone raised their voice.
His own voice was quiet, his voice coming out very softly, making Pam lean close when he spoke.
She took his hands in hers, looked him in the eyes, and assured him that he was okay. The warmth of her hands holding his made him feel safer somehow. He didn't let go for a while.
While she didn't know why he was feeling like that, she promised she would help him how she could.
-
About a week later, Pam came up to him.
It was in the breakroom at lunch. She walked up next to him and tugged on his sleeve.
“How about we go eat in my car? I've been doing some sleuthing and I wanna share my findings!” She smiled at him, her eyes twinkling with excitement.
He nodded, finishing up chewing what was in his mouth and packing his sandwich up to take with him.
She took his hand, which made his heart flutter. While it wasn't enough to engulf his head in fog and fuzz, he could feel it pushing at the edges of his mind as she led him to the parking lot.
Once they were sitting in the car, Pam reached to the back seat and pulled out a few pieces of paper with print on them.
“So, I did some research.” She slid one of the papers over to him, which he picked up and began to skim.
“I think you might be experiencing something called age regression? It was hard to find much on it, I don't think it's super well known.”
He nodded, looking at the printed out forum post she had given him.
“This person seems to describe some of the stuff you were telling me before. From what I was able to find out, it's kinda like… Your brain goes back to being a kid?”
He hummed as she handed him another paper.
“A bunch of people have different names for it, but it all sounds somewhat similar. Some people even do it on purpose.” She pointed to a section on the page where someone spoke about their experiences.
He nodded. Some of the stuff didn't line up with what he experienced, but quite a bit of it did.
“Some people can pinpoint an age and specify down to the year, but others say they just feel small. Kinda like what you were talking about.”
He nodded, taking in the information.
“Why does it happen?”
Was there something wrong with him? Why did his brain want him to feel like a child?
“Some people do it to relax. There were a couple people talking about how it started happening whenever they got stressed out. I don't think it's bad, Jim.” Her hand came to rest on his shoulder. It was comforting.
“You're not hurting anyone. Everyone needs to be taken care of every now and then.”
He stared at the paper for a few minutes.
She was right. He wasn't hurting anyone.
-
It happened again.
It was the middle of the night.
Jim woke up suddenly, his heart racing. His face was damp with sweat and he felt himself shaking. He had had a horrible nightmare. He couldn't even remember what had happened, yet somehow he was still terrified.
To top it all off, it was storming outside.
Each clap of thunder made him jump, his eyes welling up with tears. He felt like running and hiding.
Pam stirred next to him, rolling over in her sleep. She was facing him now, her eyes closed as she slept, unbothered by the storm.
That was right! Pam was here.
Pam could help him, she would be able to make him feel better. She could keep him safe.
He put his hand on her shoulder, shaking her as gently as he could. He didn't want to risk hurting her.
Pam squinted her eyes open.
Jim was looking down at her, eyes wide and wet with tears.
She sat up quickly, looking at Jim with a worried expression.
“Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?”
All words seemed to evade him at that moment. The fog in his brain was too heavy.
A soft whine escaped him.
She took his hand, holding it gently. Her hands were soft.
“There's nothing to be scared of. It's just water and noise.” She scooted closer to him in bed, their shoulders now touching.
“How about we cuddle, and I tell you a story? Would that help?”
Jim nodded, his heart rate finally starting to slow.
Pam pulled him so they were practically on top of each other. It was a bit awkward at first, with the two of them shifting around as they tried to get comfortable.
They eventually got situated, with Jim's head laying on Pam's chest, and her arm wrapped around him, resting on his side.
He could feel her heartbeat, hear it softly thumping. It was calming, and it gave him something to focus on.
Pam began to speak, telling him some story. It seemed she was making it up as she went, cracking jokes here and there.
Jim's eyes slowly drifted closed as he listened, Pam's voice sweet and soothing to his ears.
As she went on Jim felt his hand drifting up to his mouth, finding its way inside. The rhythmic sucking on his knuckle seemed to calm his heart a bit.
If Pam noticed, she didn't say anything, continuing to rub his side comfortingly as she spoke.
Pam stroked his hair with her free hand, and he melted into her touch.
This was nice. Maybe this regression thing didn't have to be so bad.